Aligning To Presence And Joy Through Feeling

Where would you rather be today? What would you rather feel today?

If you have a ready answer then you may not be in alignment with Presence and Joy. I don’t think many, if any of us, can honestly say they are in that space all the time. It is like an airplane that is on course to its destination is never on a straight line path. It needs to self-correct and readjust. These questions are just reminders to be conscious of what we really want and need in any given moment.

So many things bring us out of this sweet spot of Presence and Joy that seem nearly impossible to parts of us that can ever change. A physical condition, a social relationship, a job, financial concerns, or emotional trauma. These are the things that can feel like an infinite wall to climb, to conquer, or to master. Even using those words put you in a power struggle with the only thing that can move it….deep and honest feeling.

We are hard-wired for Presence and Joy, yet we have the software to take us out of it. Maybe it is our freeware as it is our Free Will. We do choose this life, these circumstances. These choices are a response to so much experience both this and other lives. You are not a simple switch, but a powerful tapestry of wounding and reaction. Whether expressed or suppressed. These woundings are your story and your script if you allow them to continue.

The healing of them is not a simple shift of perspective but a courageous dive into the deep end of your heart and soul. The process of healing leads you to more Presence and more Joy as these energies inside of you get their time to be felt, held, and healed with support. This has been a daily process for me over the last six years that continue to offer the fruit of this divine experience. I am never totally in that space all the time. I am progressing toward More. It is in that progress that I continue to feel what it is I need to feel as it arises in my heart.

That is the hallmark of transformation and ascension. Claim it and courageously walk it out. I am here to walk with you if you need it.


Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.


Letting In Joy That Comes From INtegration And INtimacy

By Jelelle Awen


Just feeling much joy in the moment, goodness about my life and where ALL this is headed….even when it is hard, dark, challenging, necessarily painful at times. THIS return to joy, the natural bubbling up of it that especially comes when you have gone in and through something difficult inside of yourself….it creates this sense of trust that it will be worth it to GO IN. To feel. To BE. To connect.

The veils continue to be so thin between other lifetimes that going in is doesn’t even seem optional at this point…esp. for those of us awakening. I have been in that inner process this week with a new Metasoul (‘past life’/other lifetime) aspect of mine from an ‘Ancient Greece’ timeline…that has been quite a bit to navigate at times. Feeling her tears and her fears…and in connection with a Metasoul counterpart from the same timeline of Raphael‘s which he shared about yesterday in his beautifully vulnerable posting about his process. These two Metasoul aspects had angst, power plays, are lovers and yet had little intimacy as they both tend to push it away. None of this feels like it is in the past or actually ‘ancient’ so these energies are strong and influential. As we bridged to them inside of ourselves, we then created a NEW bond between them….including beginning the process of changing a tragic outcome to their timeline.

The presence of these two Metasoul aspects of ours was around as we made love in the early morning, and I could feel them taking in the goodness, pleasure, heart connection, and soul connection that Raphael and I experience together. It is interesting to have Metasoul aspects ‘witness’ in this way, especially during love making, and it def. brings a wonderful, multidimensional frequency, a soul richness to it! And sometimes tears come as soul pain and karmic binds are washed out by love. It feels like such a blessing to have a partner go into these grounds with me, in the flesh, navigating all these dimensional realities and in life too.

The void can be an aspect of this process and may even be a necessary one for you, as I wrote about yesterday……yet, too, inviting self intimacy into your life with genuine joy and loving presence when you are ready then ALLOWS for intimacy to come with others in ways that are so nourishing, intimate, deep, and meaningful. These new textures of intimacy help wash away the trauma and pain from the previously dissatisfying experiences of relationships. Connecting with the parts of you that resist this intimacy, that want to protect you from getting hurt, that guard your heart, I feel is SO important to experiencing this intimate self relationship and with others too….it certainly has been for me and my Beloveds. You can read more about the process we offer around parts work/Metasoul connection and integration here:

Raphael and I will be hosting a live stream in about three hours….at 11:11am CST on our SoulFullHeart Facebook Page and You Tube Channel….you can ask us questions in the moment about ascension, spirituality, emotional body healing, parts work, the SoulFullHeart process, 3D/4D/5D selves, sacred union, sacred sexuality, connection with Guides/Metasoul aspects, disclosure. Ask in the moment or you can offer your question here and we’ll respond to it during the livestream, which will probably last about an hour:

We’ll also be hosting a SoulFullHeart group call on November 11 at 11:11am CST (couldn’t resist that lovely repeating number energy) offering teaching, guided meditation, and personal sharings for a $11 min. donation/energy exchange:

WE’d love for you to join us in the joy, the radical realness, the GIFTs and the learning….in the LOVE.


Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond.

Visit for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at

Finding Help To Enter and Exit Your Cave Of Suffering


By Raphael Awen

I believe every last one of us has a cave of deep suffering somewhere in our makeup, somewhere in our souls timeline, that plays out in our lives.

Many are working hard to avoid all contact with this cave while others know it all too well.

Some of us have done serious time in coming to terms with our caves and have found, through trial and error, a way through, and even gone on to transform the cave into a beautiful space of previously unimaginable self love and connection. If there are yet more caves to uncover, we are no longer afraid, nor too deeply surprised to encounter them if and when they arise. I feel this to be true for myself.

Our capacity to know and feel our deepest and truest joy is inextricably connected to our capacity to know and feel our deepest sorrows. It all wants to be known and felt and one cannot be separated from the other.

Finding and feeling a part of you that hates life can be quite a task when there is another above ground part of you quite invested in keeping a surface life that is expected of you intact. But for many now, it is becoming clear that this is the reason why they chose to incarnate here, to find and feel all of what exists in the furthest regions of their being, and to re-member it all to the love that they are.

What we are also realizing is that we can’t do it without help. The steps to our freedom, like the pathways that led into our pain, intertwine us in messy relationship. Until a ‘you’ can emerge that isn’t fused with the pain, and this you can recognize and go on to authorize someone or something outside of yourself to help you, there really isn’t any help to be had.

In another way, any ‘outside’ resource that you engage and authorize is coming from you as they couldn’t have any way of serving you without your authorization, regardless of their claimed expertise or desire to help you. In this way, we rightly project our higher selves onto an other that is our flow of help in the now moment to help us.

But where does ‘help’ come from and what does it look like? How would you know it when you saw it?

Truth is, you can’t really know, at least not in the way a part of you may be seeking a guarantee that the help you are attracted to isn’t in fact a path that will elucidate more of your own deeper suffering through an abusive kind of experience. If there is more suffering to encounter in your being, you can know that it was yours to encounter, and even an experience of abuse was something your higher self was not afraid to encounter and even draw to yourself as it offered you an opportunity to access and heal something that couldn’t be accessed and healed any other way.

Your soul knows that you are love, while you are out seeking to know and feel more of this love that you are.

Your soul is not afraid of the role of momentary pain or sorrow, to backlight this glorious everlasting love into being seen and felt as your daily lived in reality.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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Beyond Redemption: The Search For Self-Forgiveness



What if we are never redeemed? What if we are already redeemed?

These are words spoken at the end of the movie Wild that I watched last night, from the book authored by Cheryl Strayed.  They were words that seemed to go into me on a soul level as I have felt redemption being a strong theme in multiple lives.  When I was in my 20s an intuitive woman had said she told me I was living a life of  “redemptive suffering”. It all just made so much sense.  I could turn anything into a suffering loop.  A way to keep me from fully inhabiting the joys of life as if they were not permitted for me to have as much as I longed for them.

Through the process of accessing other Metasoul lives, I have been able to piece together a tapestry of lives seemed to revolve around this theme.  Choices that led to experiences that caused pain to others and taking that on as a personal cross to bear.  Then returning that pain upon myself in order to be redeemed in the eyes of a God that would accept me when the suffering was acceptable enough.  All the while not understanding the God I was asking for forgiveness from was ultimately me.

This idea of redemption and persecution is one that spans so many lives and souls.  It is one that can be a core wound for many.  The root of many of our personal unconscious choices.  A plot arch for many of our current soul playouts.  When we begin to become conscious of our Metasoul wounding do we begin to gain an understanding of who we are and what we would rather choose to be.  That we no longer have to unconsciously fuse to this karmic cycle.  We can connect to a larger story that is infinite in its possibilities.  But first we must feel the tug of the wound from these soul siblings and help to heal them into the largess of our own hearts.

As we start to feel these lives and access the gift they are presenting to us we can begin to see ourselves in a much different light.  We become more Light in fact.  We start to let go of the heavy emotional ties to those lives and hold them with the love of forgiveness they haven’t been able to give themselves.  The redemption was already bought and paid for. We were never “wrong”.  We were, or ARE, a part of a huge experiential learning ground where we lost track of that.  Got lost in the wild so we could find ourselves again with a new and larger vision of what we forgot we were.  The redemption aspects of us have been looking for already exist inside of us.

This may be a big part as to why some continue to stay in life situations that are not fully serving their greatest good.  This unconscious need to be less than in order to cash in on our soul IOUs.  It is becoming time to let go of that old story.  To go into the wilderness of our “history” and forgive ourselves for what has been serving fear and heal it into service of love.  For ourselves and others.  You have access to all of it inside that creative arena called your imagination.  It just needs to be negotiated with the part of you that guards this access.

Through this process a new world will open up to connect the dots you may currently may be unaware of.  The stories and timelines that have yet to be let go.  From there you can begin to unfurl the true gift of your inner Joy that is waiting to be remembered back into your heart and soul, remember where it was you actually came from, and what your true purpose is here on this glorious New Earth.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at