When the fire of my soul was lit up a couple of days ago what happened was an illumination of shadow and darkness. How could it not? Think of what happens when you are walking in a cave and you light your torch. You see all the nooks and crannies of the cave walls, the ground you have been walking on, and the unseeable places ahead. You find yourself in the catacombs of your soul, of the Self.
Like the proverbial ‘moths to a flame’ come the very things that are in need of healing and that Light of Love you just sparked up. The wounds, the memories, the buried ‘treasures’ of your soul’s story. You have become the explorer as well as the ambassador to that very LoveLight you are carrying in your heart.
When the wave of wounding came up I could feel the Soul Tire. The weariness of the suffering and pain that aspects of me have been in. This suffering can be held by parts of us until it becomes too much for them to bear. We need to go into the Soul to get a broader and deeper vision of what is holding this Soul tiredness.
This has been an ongoing part of my journey as it has felt like a spiral staircase many times. “Haven’t I been here before?” Yes, I have. But each time the density of the ‘air’ I am walking through is thinner and thinner. Less time is being spent there. I would come upon a judgement of myself that I am here again. That as a healer, space-holder, and a desired mate I need to be ‘over’ this already.
Yet, I just keep hearing from my guides that this is all part of being a human ascending. It is a process and it takes the route it takes. The judgement just makes it take longer. Maybe that is needed until it isn’t anymore. It is how we respond to the spiral that moves it further along.
The Soul Tire needs our attention and a safe place to land. It is a place within where the Soul Fire is less of a raging inferno but rather a crackling warmth from the hearth of the Divine. It is an etheric ICU or less-dramatically an Inn in the middle of a long journey that provides the comforts of Home. A place to recover and to fill up on Love.
The quest of the soul can be seen and felt as a Trail of Tears and Fears, or it can become the beginning of something profoundly beautiful that we have convinced ourselves is a distant or fairy-tale land. That choice is ultimately up to us. As above, so below.
So this day, maybe this week, I rest. I feel. I love all the aspects of me that need to come into my hearth. It has been a long road for them and it is time to shorten the distance by bringing them into Presence. To let the Soul Tire become a thing of the past as it is held by the SoulFire.
*****
Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.
It is coming into me and causing all sorts of rumblings, intentions, and reactions. It is a flame that is always with us. It cannot be extinguished at its core. It is Eternal and Internal. It is what keeps us going and can also keep parts of us suffering due to its inextinguishable nature.
In its leading edge, SoulFire is passion with purpose and deep meaning. It is unstoppable in its quest for service, in creativity, in expression, in construction, and deconstruction. It burns away what is not alignment and illuminates what is.
HOW this is done comes from the Heart. SoulFire can burn and hurt. It can have consequences that were unintended but necessary for it to flourish. We can own the fallout of those consequences with our compassion and vulnerability. In that process, Love is not lost, it is just reconfigured and transformed.
There can be an inner struggle for many of us to access and maintain this SoulFire. There are many layers of protection and doubt that may come in to dull or put out this fire, for very good reason. Our SoulFire may have a history of collateral damage. Maybe even a graveyard. The Shadow of SoulFire may be a grim one. But it is also a powerful change agent. A servant of Love in many forms.As we live through a most unprecedented time in our modern history, we are facing circumstances and information that can throw a wet blanket on this fire. It can make it REALLY hard to see and feel. You may see others who have it and may compare and judge yourself for the lack or inaccessiblity. This may put parts of you into a despair or suffering loop. This has been my pattern for a big portion of my life. It found its way into my field just last night.
Then I felt the voice of my SoulFire come into the space this morning. WOOOSH! “Fuck no! Time out. This is NOT who you are or are meant to be. You have wounding, yes. You have more to transmute into Love. BUT you are not this loop, this suffering, this voice. You are a man on a mission for Love. For Liberation. For Heaven on Earth. You are bigger than what you can imagine and that scares the shit out of parts of you. So let’s be with that WHILE you set yourself ablaze with SoulFire. That holds the space for the reactions rather than becoming them. It transmutes them back to Love and into Purpose, just in time to get back to work!”
Well. Okay then! That voice has helped me move to my next phases of growth and service. I feel how so many are afflicted with this same dynamic and I really want to serve that going forward. I know it so damn intimately. Almost too intimately in the past, but that is what qualifies me to serve it. SoulFire is what I came here on this planet to embody and to serve.
I look forward to the next leg of this journey into my SoulFire expression and how and what it manifests. This has been born from all that has been going on in the world so there is gratitude for that. The Light many times can only be seen in the Dark. Here’s to you finding your SoulFire in the eye of the storm. And, as always, I am here to support you on that quest should you feel the need for that holding, healing, and witnessing.
*****
Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.
It was the first snow for us here in Avalon so Kasha and I went out to walk the Tor, take in the magic, and film this quick video sharing about our upcoming women’s group call over Zoom on Sunday January 31st at 5:00pm UK/noon EST/9:00am PST offering Inner Sacred Union codes!
Discovering and deepening the Sacred Union between your own inner masculine and feminine is a process that calls you to new depths within and in your outer relationships as well. We have both felt immense benefits from connecting with these parts of themselves while in romantic relationships, completing them, or staying sacredly single. To explore the connection between our inner feminine and inner masculine provides a powerful growth ground within that can then overflow to our relationships with others. The inner union can be in much more of polarized state…with parts of you ‘against’ each other or suppressing each other or just not in alignment with each other, which then impacts all relationship experience.
We will talk about how to explore your sacred union within grounds through working parts of the self and the soul as well, identifying the ways that parental templates, Matrix conditioning, soul themes/patterns etc. have all influenced this crucial inner ground. We will share about our personal journeys of exploring sacred union within us over many years engaged in working with our inner masculine and feminine aspects to bring more union and heal polarities that leads to an empowered, vulnerable and open, and receptive experience of life and relationships.
During this call, we will guide you in a meditative space into a safe healing space where you can bridge to whatever wants to show up as representing your inner masculine and inner feminine right now, inviting them into more connection with each other. You will receive a template from the Magdalenes around an embodiment of this inner union frequency. We will also tap into and transmit from the powerful Mary and Michael ley line/energy flows that runs through Avalon and that we take in daily living here.
You can attend the women’s call live and/or receive the recording by offering a donation of any amount to paypal.me/jelelleawen or purchasing the Zoom link through our website at soulfullheart.org/shop.If you become a member of the SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for $14.99 USD/month, you can attend the call and/or receive the recording as part of your membership. Visit https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co to find out more about this online community space and to join too.
I believe this is a moment like no other, a moment of opportunity, a moment to choose deep and profound change, a moment to embrace all of you, from your highest leading ‘I Am’ Self all the way down to your ‘lowest’ edge where parts of you live in doubt and insecurity.
Nothing is actually lower or higher. You will never become any more sacred than you already are! If that is true, then you and I finally have the freedom, to look deeply into the mirrors of our lives, our circumstances, our relationships and take the deepest inventory of what’s also true there, as none of it can take away or add to the fact that ‘I already AM, all that I ever might become’.
I am very deeply interested in all that I might become. I am also very deeply interested in all that I already am. While this has always felt true for me on some level on my journey, I can tell you that it has felt like my biggest challenge as well. It has waxed and waned. At times, even very recently, I’ve seen my bigness stare me in the face and it has scared parts of me to the core. Numerous hideouts and comfortable ceilings have again been discovered and negotiated with, and let go of, only to be faced with another layer of vulnerability, insecurity and desire. I suspect that this is the whole deal of being here. It gets to move for me from more private to more service-based as I transparently live this out loud.
I’m no longer of the illusion that these kinds of challenges where I must face a new place in me feeling contracted or small will somehow become ‘healed’ or a thing of the past. If I AM is truly infinite greatness, then any and all achievements or attainments, no matter how great, how relieving, how homecoming, how much of an entrance into my personal promised land – they still remain a humble kindergarten. I’m starting to get used to that! – another celebrated ‘attainment’ in and of itself, where any and all movements either forward or backward are part of the magical and infinite I AM that I AM.
The other big thing all of this offers me is that the only one I can ever be a saviour for, is me and me alone. I can’t offer you anything you don’t already possess. With this clarity, I can however, hold space to offer you, YOU.
When Moses, standing in his small self perceived stature before a burning bush manifestation of God, hearing the voice of God calling him and sending him, asked God a very understandable question: “Who do I say sent me?” and God answers, “Tell them thee I AM that I Am has sent you.”
I’m here today standing before mankind, my kind, saying “The I Am that I Am, has sent me to you.” I’m here, in your hearing, speaking to your I AM that I AM, before the burning bush of your desires, your heart aches, your heart passions, inviting you into something tangible, alive and real, inside and outside.
I’ve crossed a threshold into my own promised land and feel it is more important than ever to invite other men who are ready to enter theirs with me. I can’t do what I’m called to do, or be what I’m called to BE, in a box or on my own. I get to walk out my more in the resonance field that’s generated with other men doing the same.
I’ve done that primarily with Gabriel Heartman for many years in a time where most efforts to expand numbers were met with more inner expansion than any kind of outward expansion. Time and process was needed mostly in private. I feel and see that changing now. Something is shifting in men and in the core of my I Am, informing all of me with a new resolve, as well as a sacred and ongoing completion of my own very real push-pull relationship with my own bigness. I want that more than I want life. This is life to me.
What is life to you? What do you most deeply want? Are you prepared to reach out for a lifeline when one is thrown to you, or will you continue praying for a lifeline instead? There’s a time to ask and a time to act.
I may be sounding fearfully close to a promo salesperson now, and to be sure, I AM trying to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on something. I AM called to sell you on you. It’s strange though, because no words that I might write or speak could ever actually achieve this. It’s only and ever achievable by living it out inside of myself, and you picking up on that and choosing the same for yourself.
Our mutual benefit is then easy and natural, whether we go any further in any kind of together way.
If however, the particular signature frequency of my deal feels like it may be or wants to be a part of your signature deal, then I deeply invite you to check out who I AM and what I offer.
This video is me here in the Abbey ruins in Glastonbury, offering a connection with one of my beautiful Metasoul brothers; King Arthur. How fitting as he knows how to assemble and lead a round table of men!
Gabriel Heartman and myself both serve men in one on one sessions helping men embrace all of themselves in ongoing process via a specific path. Here’s a link to more about sessions: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions.
Sessions may well be a bit too close, too soon, for where you are, if you’ve just discovered us. If so, I invite you to consider following us at whatever distance feels comfortable for you, while serving your heartache and opportunity.
A great way to do that is to join our SoulFullHeart Portal for $15 usd per month, a private on-line community where you get to share with like minded men and women, as well as a men’s only portion of the Portal, and receive exclusive content, writings, videos and transmissions. Here’s an invite to our Portal.
If you’ve read this through this far, then I know you are feeling the truth of the first words I spoke today – that this is a moment of opportunity like no other. Other moments will be sure to come, if that’s what your I AM needs to orchestrate for you, but what if this moment right now is your moment, or at least one of them? What if what I’m offering you is offered to you for you to make a deeper personal connection, to see where it takes you, to see if what you are feeling right now, continues to self validate as a truly profound going on place? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Gabriel would love to hear from you.
I can tell you from the depths of my heart and experience that I Am wanting, willing and ready to serve you, to show up for you as you show up for you.
If you are a woman who’s read this all the way through, bless you! And allow yourself to take in all these words directed at men, and feel them for your own inner masculine parts of you. Also, let your sacred yearning and desire for men and the missing masculine to rise up and claim the inhabitation of their long awaited I AM selves, be a gift of alchemy transmitted to all the men feeling this, whether by my words today, or by the same download that’s being broadcast into the collective from many different sources right NOW.
If you know of other men who you feel are ready for such a time as this, please share this post with them.
May we each arise to this occasion to find ultimately that there was ever only one of us and one occasion all the while, one truly worth showing up for.
Much Love,
Raphael Awen
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.
We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/
You keep opening your heart to love. You do, because it is WHY you are here. To open, to share, to risk….even, sometimes, to break. So it feels like…..your heart is breaking into pieces and the parts that seem shattered speak to you then, saying, ‘This is me, all broken up. Will I ever come together again?’
These parts of you speak of hurt and loss that runs deep, much beyond this moment and even this present timeline and this current situation or circumstance. They flash you the slideshow scenes of previously forgotten pain that is now acutely aching again so you can understand it better, feel it, BE with it…..eventually help them be FREE from these frozen in fear moments.
These parts of you cry with you their tears that often weren’t allowed, permitted, or felt in the moment the pain was caused and harm received by others. These parts of you…..sometimes so, so young, precious, and innocent….can then be held by your and the Divine Mother’s forgiveness and compassion. They can become pure again until the light of your loving sun.
You keep holding the space for this process….BEing with what is real, allowing space to feel it ALL with ALL parts of you. You keep feeling because, on the other side of this pain, is the joy that is contained in every part of you.
On the other side of the fear, is the love that is the essence of every part of you.
On the other side of the shame, is the sense of innate goodness in every part of you.
Your Divine Self keeps finding support to trust this transmutational process. You trust it because it always moves to the other side eventually. Every movement offers the opportunity and possibility of moving on….even if it looks like ‘going in’ or looks like mourning. You hear ‘it’s time to move on now and let it go’ and so parts of you do, your previously occupied heart now empty, vacated, and ready to be filled up again by love…
You keep feeling the love that life is bringing, holding, offering you and these parts do too until they become more and more whole and integrated. You keep listening as Life says, “Keep opening UP, BEing with what is real and trusting the process. All that you desire and deserve is here, waiting until you are ready to receive it.” ~ Love from Avalon! Jelelle Awen
This ground of feeling, healing, and being with parts of you and soul aspects is what we explore with much tender and deep initiation in 1:1 sessions. For more information, visit soulfullheart.org/sessions
This is my Deepen meditation series that I recommend for opening up access to many parts of self and soul aspects: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…
More information about 1:1 sessions, group call events, writings/books, our online community Portal and more at soulfullheart.org.
At any moment we can feel an ease or an unease. Choosing to consistently not feel and transmute the unease can lead to dis-ease, a store of this unhealthy energy.
While we are in the midst of global feardemic, the unease continues to rise with each news cycle and governmental decree in order to manage it, albeit in a haphazard way with no real clue as to what they are really doing other than adding fuel to dysfunction and dystopia. The unease barometer climbs. So where can you find ease in this environment that is laden with traps everywhere you look? You know. It can only really be found in you. Always.
It can be found in breathing. It can be found in giving. It can be found in feeling yourself. It can be found in connecting with animals and nature. It can be found in meditating and music.
It can be found in tuning out the very things that bring that unease and tuning in to the parts of you that have been used to that uneasy feeling because it has always been there like a best friend, yet you didn’t realize it.
I have come to an awareness recently that unease was the way a part of me interfaced with the world. It was instituted at an early age and in my Metasoul. It became institutionalized inside of me and therefore nearly unconscious. A Pavlovian response to Life and Love.
I have had to see it and feel it. Hold it and love it. I had to ceremonially say goodbye to it as if it were a long-time lover. What would life really be like in ‘ease’ when all there has been is unease?
That is where we all get to co-write the New Script, not just edit the old one. Burn that shit up cuz it has no happy ending no matter what you do to it. Let’s start again…from the inside. Rewrite that code from the core of your being and let that Love Bug be the new virus.
With ease… With grace… With courage… With IN…
*****
Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.
This year has seen an upsurge in the Truth/Justice ticket that has swept across the globe. It may best be exemplified by the Q and BLM movements.
There has been a global shadow presence on Earth for millenia. It is a collective shadow. It varies in size and scope. It is control, hate, and what can only be described as evil. It divides and confuses. It obfuscates and denies. It is hidden in plain sight.
Whether it is pedofiles, elites, facists, supremacists, or racists, there is a hunt on. The Truth/Justice ticket has its soldiers and its provocateurs. It also has its genuineness and its desire for real disclosure and transparency on all fronts. Again, as I said in my last piece, it the ENERGY that I am focusing on. So when I am referring to this Truth/Justice ticket what I feel is a tighter, angry energy that is aligned in many ways to Rage.
There is damn good reason to be angry when we are bombarded with all sorts of information and images that rub against things that parts of us have not been conscious of, whether on purpose or not. There is a growing number within this ticket that can rush to judgement and persecution without really taking the time to breathe. It is a knee-jerk reaction without deep questioning or exploration.
This has sent the more discerning and leveled voices into a more defensive and obscured role within the ‘party’. “If you are not for us, you are against us!” is the rally cry. You will be ostracized, criticized, and ‘cancelled’. In the cries for unity there are often inner battles. The polarity getting the best of itself.
With all the shadow-hunting and ‘justice’-seeking, there is a derision. A field of energy that can implode upon itself. It is a field that consists of so much collective injustice and pain. It lives within each of us as an Akashic record. When we don’t go into our own relationship to Injustice then we are reacting to the unconscious forces within that are both personal and collective.
When fused to the larger pool of Injustice or Spiritual Warfare, we lose our own sense of Self and what is really true for us. What is the reaction really about? Where in the heart and soul does it come from? I am not saying it does not have legitimacy. I am advocating for awareness and consciousness that leads to real Truth and Justice, not just getting swept away by the river of rage, battle, and hunting.
Our DNA holds a wealth of information when it comes to this ongoing disclosure of the shadow. There are historic and galactic implications we may find ourselves just recapitulating. I don’t believe we are doomed unless we really want to be. We have a choice to rewire our programming, conditioning, and unconscious reactions. We have a choice from what energy field we wish to vote for, live in, and live from.
How much of the ‘truth’ do we really want to know? What are we prepared for? Not just externally, but internally as well? What kind of justice do we want to administer and how do we want to respond to what looks and feels like injustice? These to me are all questions I want to be asking myself in cultivating and stewarding a New Earth from the inside out. I want truth and justice, I am just not sure the current energy around it is what I want to ‘vote’ for. Is there another ticket that has another perspective and answer?
If you have felt impacted by these energies and are wanting feel some clarity and empowerment for yourself around them, I am available for a 1:1 session to see where we can feel how your inner world is being reflected in the reactions to the outer world and how the SoulFullHeart process can support you in creating something new that radiates more of who you are and want to be in the world.
Next, I will travel to the ethers and meet with the Love/Light ticket to see what it has to offer us during these volatile times.
*****
Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.
For a time, we can conveniently embrace some form of group mind as a placeholder for our truth, but eventually, life will press you, quite inconveniently, to find and walk out your own truth.
This is the maturity trajectory that your soul is here for, however often, to realize.
It all sounds quite serious, and in one way it is. In another way, it’s just the Divine, doing what it does, experimenting with its own bigness through you and I. It’s as serious as a child at play.
The questions of the quest are:
Can you recognize and love yourself for signing up for the participation?
Can you hold space for the parts of you and their very serious reactions and needs that feel all too real to them?
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.
Continuing on the next stage of a nomadic, service-based lifestyle with my soul fam. Today I am leaving an apartment I serendipitously found at a very big choice point between going back to the US during the pandemic mess in March or staying here at taking time to let the grand drama play itself out.
Since then, I have been reunited with soul community and have become deeper involved in service and creativity. The reality that I will be heading to the UK with everyone at the end of August is still a trip to the ‘me’ that existed in March. I will be moving back to living with everyone for the month while we prepare.
This whole experience has led me to trust my higher intuition and to also surrender into what the universe and Divine are guiding me to inhabit at each turn. If love is what I am meant to serve, then I trust Love will continue to guide me even if it seems uncertain and unknown to parts of me.
This Lions Gate moment is inviting us to feel that edge of safety and fear. Our heart and soul callings may be hard for parts of us to lean into but if we are connected to this Divine Self frequency we can hold all of those feelings with grace, passion, and compassion leading us to that next step, even if it seems like a leap.
Mother once reminded me that each step will never be longer than my stride. I have learned the truth if that time and time again. My fear and anxious parts have too. This is what being present to our moment and our heart really offer us. Feel first. The rest will find its way.
More digestions and inner-standings to come along the way. Please tune in! Literally and figuratively. 🙏😊❤️
*****
Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator. Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.
So many souls are exiting the planet at this time. They’re leaving legacies as they go and inviting investigations into deeper and deeper truths as well, especially when their deaths are suspicious. They’re choosing (even if it looks like they didn’t choose because their lives were ‘taken’) to leave during this time especially when more of the underbelly of our culture and the underground machinations of our human world are coming to light. They’re not coming along for the ride on this plane for the rest of our current phase, and are choosing instead to assist through another. I really get this sense of how it’s all about strong soul choices and being drawn to transition into an energy that is able to assist with disclosure, which is a huge part of our global awakening and ascension, and the process of digesting it as well.
To me, this is what ‘death’ is meant to offer, whether it’s a death and rebirth cycle in your own life and healing process, or a transition into another phase as a soul without a physical body. Both shed a consciousness that isn’t needed in the same way anymore. Both require space for mourning and grief for those impacted by our soul’s choice, and in the case of a life phase change, our parts need this same space to mourn and grieve what was lost so they could truly be found, felt, and healed.
What we’re experiencing globally right now is death and rebirth and the awakening that affords us all. It’s both beautiful and terrifying as our parts digest it all and our Metasouls ping around the unfolding because it’s so similar to what they’ve experienced in other lifetimes of war and collapse.
I feel that some souls right now are awakening into polarities and it’s just as sacred as awakening out of them. Energizing what you are and are not, even if it’s not taking into account the whole picture, is a play out of your individuality journey and sometimes you’ll find yourself in contention over this and maybe this is new. Maybe it’s good that parts of you are advocating for something they feel is righteous or a Metasoul sister or brother of yours in another lifetime is walking out and trying to resolve some karma through YOUR lifetime. This is necessary for a phase and IS an essential part of awakening and ascension for many. This is what then leads to more desire for peace inside and out, but a peace that doesn’t cost you anything and instead is authentic and organic and so deeply rooted it can’t really be shaken.
Awakening beyond the polarity picture is NOT often easy, especially with how much contention there is around and inside of you, until you can find the genuine desire for this to shift in your inner world. There are numerous parts to work with if you want peace and deep inner love flow that overflows to others. There are numerous Metasoul aspects to work with too, who also need this experience of something new, without the same cycles of recapitulation of endless battles and war over differences that aren’t even real at the end of the day.
This is the gift that death in the physical and in our healing and ascension phases offers… illumination that leads to awakening. This phase on our planet in this ‘year’ called ‘2020’ has offered us all so much to feel into when and as we choose to. It’s a sacred time of messiness and chaos leading us to whole new ways of being if the steps can be taken from within.
Love,
Kalayna
***
Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about FREE consultation calls, space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 