Exploring Men’s Inner Protector


There is a lot of beautiful writing happening around the feminine protector among women.  A sometimes fierce energy that has found its duty in protecting the supple beauty and divine creative power of the inner feminine.  It has arisen out of the need to keep this jewel safe in the invulnerable and aggressive world of the unhealed masculine energy that the feminine has found itself residing in.  But this was until such time when it was no longer needed and the more authentic and powerful BEing could emerge from its sheltered perch to relieve this sentry from his post and become more of an advisor and loyal inner guide, as well as a mate template.  

This picture feels so alive and clear to me.  But what of our male protection?  What has kept us in the more invulnerable state of truly letting our hearts be felt and expressed in a way that takes us into our hidden and not so pretty places?  Our fear and small places?  I feel how our inner feminine has been protected as well, along with our inner child in order to “survive” in a very outbound 3D reality.  Get to the heart of any man and you will find a pain of loneliness, disempowerment, and uncertainty of what the hell masculinity even is!  There is a rage of not being shown the “way” by a father who hadn’t the faintest clue himself in many ways.

For most men, the protection arose as either `fight or flight´. A more aggressive warrior technician scientist that could fear or control his way into a false sense of power and safety. This protection is meant to satiate the fear that lies in the inner boy or to even quell it as ‘boys don’t cry’.  This is a check against any outside force that would use this vulnerability against him as a ‘weakness’.  The fear of truly feeling what lies in our hearts is a difficult one for many men to bear.  This happens at varying degrees for each one of us.

The flight response, which tended to be mine most of my life is the protection of hiding.  In this form, the protector could be male, and it could also be female as in a very protective mother.  For those of us that were ‘mama’s boys’ with doting mothers, this would feel familiar.  Here our fight response has been muted and even castrated to some point.  An inner punisher voice can intensify the hiding if the father energy had similar tones as well.  Here the inner sensitive boy/feminine is much more aware and the protector will do anything possible to keep the boy from being put in situations where it would be vulnerable to attack.

For men, this protector is also found in the soul domain as a soul guardian and can serve this role very aptly.  Using spiritual gifts as a way to transcend or hide from very real emotional human pain and trauma that lies dormant in the emotional body.  This relationship holds many keys to our arising sacred humanity and access to even deeper embodiment of our soul purpose and gifts.

You can feel your protector when you feel pressed to produce, express, or manage in a very controlled or outbound way.  Or when you feel tight, distrustful, or anxious.  If you feel like you want to avoid something or just can’t find the will to even get out of bed.  Or maybe you just want to leave this dimension all together and find yourself back ‘home’.  The way we relate to the females in our life can show our protector if we find ourselves care-taking or pushing them away.  There are so many ways he, or she, can show up.

The main question to ask yourself is if you are fully BEing and living a life full of Joy and Possibility in any given moment.   To the 3D mind and suffering heart, constant Joy is an unknown yet this IS what is real in our essence as Infinite Love.  If we aren’t feeling a connection to this love frequency frequently, then there is a protection in between it and us.  I am continuing to unfold this for myself everyday.     

The protector of our male hearts is as valuable and tender as its feminine counterpart.  With a relationship to it, we can find ourselves softer and less aggressive, as well as more bold, provocative, and assertive with an open heart.  I feel so much more in my own power and masculinity than I did just 4 short years ago with this negotiation and relationship to that which has kept me hidden instead of outed.  Suffering instead of in Joy.

Raphael Awen and I want to call out to all men who are looking to further and deepen their individual power and self-love as well as draw or deepen a romance you may already be in.  You can find the details to the next Men’s Group call here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1529253583760067/

For a recording of a group call and meditation that Raphael and I did to meet your inner protector you can check that out here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

We also offer personal healing sessions via Zoom to help you feel through whatever is blocking you from living and BEing the most authentic version of Love you can BE and ARE.  We also are inviting others to join us in community of heart and soul brotherhood if that were to appeal to your soul’s journey.  We are calling the knights back to the Round Table of Love and Goodness!  You can read more about that here:  http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhman

My protector’s heart to yours,

Gabriel Heartman

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Awakening Of The Sacred Masculine Heart


Awakening.  That word elicits so many different responses from so many people.  We know it is becoming aware of what we have been conditioned to believe as True.  We have chosen to fall asleep to our infinite power.  We squirreled it away somewhere so we can learn new experiences while on the way to remembering.  For some that path has been laid out with some pretty intense crucibles and circumstances.  All that were chosen by us to serve something in us that we just can’t seem to see yet.  But then one day that just changes and life as you once knew it, no longer holds the storyline that was attached to it.  YOU just popped a stitch and the pants no longer fit or even make sense to wear anymore.  

You are now seeing and feeling life differently.  Maybe you have been on a journey already and all of a sudden there is another moment of awareness that presences itself and you find yourself in need of something more still.  No matter where we are on this evolution of consciousness, there is always MORE to live into.  We are not static beings.  We need to keep growing, keep deepening, and keep widening our field and experience of love.  There are so many energies that we have available to us, withIN us, that can lend us the support necessary to guide us to our next places.  But sometimes those voices can be muted or even blocked by an energy inside of us that is protecting us from that MORE.  We cannot see that ourselves because we are not able to.  Maybe even not meant to.   We are drawn to circumstances and people that can mirror this to us.  Our Higher Self is working overtime with patient persistence.

I have been digesting the difference between women and men when it comes to recognizing when a certain timeline is just done with them.  It is not that more women are awakening, as it is they are just making choices that support that awakening.  They reach a tipping point sooner and seem to search for those that they feel can trust to begin this diffusion from the suffering.  This doesn’t mean they don’t have resistances, they are just more willing to make that first step.

The spirituality side of awakening feels lushly inhabited by both genders with all kinds of access points to our Divine and Cosmic energy.  Knowledge of ancient teachings, scientific discoveries, and powerful intuitions and downloads. I have such a hunger and curiosity for it all.  It is all a part of our human experience.  But then there is the emotional side of awakening.  The one that is inextricably tied to our human heart.  It is the center of what it means to be alive and human.  Not just spirit only.  There are so many examples of spiritual leaders that have deeply painful emotional existences.  This has a huge affect on those they are leading and serving.  There is an integrity of heart and soul bigness that qualifies our Sacred Humanity.

The human heart is a grand frontier too!  So much of our ability to experience a rich celestial life is found in our ability to experience a rich emotional life.  This is found with a YOU to YOU phase of independence and watering your own self-worth.  But as that fills up it naturally wants to find its way to others through service and sacred romance.  Those that have been serving may need a time of going in to feel their human heart again.  A time in which the only service is to YOU and you alone.  Or there is a time when a need for community and growth relationship is next on your spiritual docket.  It is all evident in where you feel stuck, paused, or ready to rock and roll.

To get back to the gender aspect, I feel that it is the domain of the vulnerable heart where men have found themselves in a status or frozen state.  A lot happening in the soul domain but his heart has been sequestered for the fear of feeling all there is to feel.  This holds true for all of us, but again more women are taking that first step into integrate BOTH the heart AND the soul into one clear expression of sacred human femininity.  The reality is, is that they are more spring-loaded for it.  They are more adept at the terrain of the winding winds of emotion.  And this feels like what will spark the heart of Man to go into what he needs to to match the growing tide of awakening women.

This does not make Man less than.  There is a LOT in our collective that we are working through in our own personal hearts.  As one man begins the journey toward emotional healing, it paves the way for others.  It affects the collective archetype and it begins to shift into a new arena of what sacred masculinity might look and feel like.  But it takes the desire to want something different and MORE.  To acknowledge that there are parts of us that are not in health and need healing because we can just feel it.  I believe men have been hugely affected by the journey into 3D but it IS what we signed up for.  Our next Hero’s quest is that of the heart.  To stand in our own power and self-worth.  To arise again into our Kingly stature and call to our counterpart Queen who is waiting for our arrival.  Together we take our bodies and souls with us into the New Golden Earth that is awaiting our full return and remembrance.

I am on that journey within myself and others.  Together we call to other men who feel that something is not being fully expressed in their lives.  That they know there is more to life than just being aware. It is to be fully alive in ALL areas of your expression.  It is a cavalry of vulnerable and impassioned leaders of Self and Consciousness.  To claim all that he wants from livelihood to brotherhood.  From wisdom to courage.  From romantic to ecstatic.  It doesn’t have to be done alone.  It was never meant to be.   

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter, Week of May 1, 2017: REALLY Showing Up For What You Want

May 4, 2017 Import 002

This week’s Museletter has made itself MANifest once more from our alchemical love-soaked dissertations. It is a chalice of our deepest gifts being offered on the altar of your deepest gifts. In that exchange we literally make magic happen in the co-mingling of our Higher Selves. This was written by YOU for YOU.

This week the theme is our dedication to and honor of the Sacred Masculine. A majestic call to awaken to what it is you REALLY want from life itself. How does the heart and soul of MAN truly want to express itself in the world? What stands in the way of that glorious Kingdom within?

There is a video by Gabriel Heartman exploring the Emotionality of Masculinty, along with hearticles, recordings, and meditations that will spark your inner romantic and lover around the passionate theme of Sacred Romance with Jelelle and Raphael. Hot and romantic poetry by Kalayna and Gabriel to send their hearts calling to the mates that reside withIN and out.

Information on future group calls are included so you can start to mark your calendars.

Each week is a pleasure to compile with love all that we hold so dear to us for you to take in at your leisure, or NOT! We always appreciate any love donation that you feel to give in exchange for this heart trove. You can visit our donations page or Patreon page to send your love notes. Thank you for taking in this into your hearts.


Please visit our website if you wish to sign-up to receive our weekly Museletter in your email. You can also contact Kalayna Colibri or email us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com to sign-up.

Please click here to have a look at this week’s Museletter.

The Fellowship of the Kings of Heart


I have a continued calling and desire to keep writing and inviting others to feel this archetypal King energy inside the hearts of all men.  This is even true for women, as they have their own inner masculine energy that has protected their inner femininity from fully blooming for the most noble of reasons.  They too can be healed to a King that helps to become to a counterpart to her arising Queen.  For men, it becomes one portal into our deepest essence as a sacred human in masculine form.  

I can’t help but to feel a loneliness that exists in the Heart of Man.  An authentic desire for deeper connection and resonance.  So much of our connection can be in the mental body,and if it does transact in the emotional body there can be some deep resistances to becoming too intimate.  There is a dearth of authentic, intimate templating that we have been exposed to, at least in my past personal experience.  I always felt more comfortable being more emotional with women than with men, but seemed to find more heart sensitive men to have relationships with when I did.  But there is another level of vulnerability that we never seemed to cross.  We stayed in a contracted frequency that had some nourishment but not a lot of growth.  

As we find ourselves on ever-changing timelines and raising frequencies, we are being exposed to our deeper needs, desires, and the pains that follow them. We are being moved into experiences of remembering more of who we ARE in our most authentic Truth.  As men, I feel how their is a desire to share this within community that can find itself to lean more toward mental digestions.  Or there is a heartfelt ache to connect in heart space but there may be no one around to really understand what is moving through you.  Or you may be blessed a beautiful sweet spot and are desiring more to join you.  

I feel that we are being called back into our most heart-open leading edge of service and leadership.  One that starts square in our hearts to feel all the places where we feel alone, forsaken, guilty, unworthy, confused, or in doubt.  There are many different textures and levels inside of us that desire to be felt and for some it can be a lot to hold.  The heart is seeking feeling and to be reunited with its soul.  Its King.  It seeks to be made whole and then expanded out into the Cosmic Heart of Humanity.  To lead others into the glorious NOW of our deepest gifts and magic.  To fly in the jetstream of Golden Consciousness with an untethered mind free of the energy that kept it in the dark spaces of our pain.  This is what I feel we ache for.  I least my heart and soul does.

And I wish to do this with other men in a fellowship of leadership.  We have such a huge part to play in this arising new golden era of consciousness.  To help heal the All by going into our One.  To reclaim our brilliant kingdom within full of passion, vision, and creativity.  We permit ourselves to live the lives of the Kings that we ARE and encourage and challenge each other lovingly to this grand place of masculine relationship.
I have experienced this with my good friend Raphael Awen and so much want to share this experience with other men.  I loved my male friends dearly, as brothers of heart.  I found myself on a new timeline, but feel them at times in my heart.  

This is a show of desire to be in a bond of like-hearted souls that have chosen to fully inhabit their desire for growth, healing, and building an Empire of Love.  I feel a new care and expanded heart for men everywhere, regardless where we are at on our quest.  I would love to serve the hearts of those so drawn to this fellowship and leadership of Heart.  I claim this inner kingdom for myself and long for you to do the same.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Healing The Heart of Man From Inside Out


As more news about war comes into my awareness, as I do not read much anymore, I felt a ping in my heart and a desire to write about the nature of this and its relationship to the wounded masculine.  It was also inspired by an experience that Jelelle had that she will be sharing later.

In Heart of Man there wages a battle between so many different facets of himself.  The need for control over the desire to surrender, the will to resist over the will to live, the self-punishment over the self-compassion.  The Heart of Man is at a crossroads.  A place where the Soul of Man is to be claimed or refused.  So much of this inner struggle is playing out today in the Theater of the Wounded Masculine.  An ever present theme of triumph and tragedy.  Domination and aggression.  Withdraw and hiding.  This is all happening within.  If we truly want to be a part of another timeline we must first be willing to go inside and face our own inner battlefield.

Those that are in a position of ¨power¨ are mere projections of what lies in our shadow.  We must be willing to feel that if we are to truly change the energy that persists ¨out there¨.  These wounded expressions in male form are but uninitiated boys with deadly toys.  But they all have a higher self that is fully aware of this.  This is why it is so important to connect with your own as they represent a fractal of the larger sacred masculine energy in the universe.  When you feel your own unhealed inner boy and its reigning punisher, you can then begin to feel compassion for those who are in positions of power.  If we throw our angst and hatred at them we are really only doing it to ourselves.  The only power that heals is Love.

In the wounded boy lies his relationship to both the masculine and the feminine represented by his mother and father.  This plays out both this life and other lives.  The templating received by Dad in what masculinity is has a huge impact on his worldview.   The relationship to Mom and her feminine templating determines to a large extent how the feminine lives in Man.  This becomes an inner relationship inside of us that, unless becomes conscious, can have many unhealthy consequences.  This relationship to the feminine that resides within is a portal into our true masculinity and continued arising soul growth.  

Among the boy though, I feel a fallen King that has forgotten his true essence as a God.  Something happened that collapsed this union with the Sacred.  He split off from Source and there is a sense of longing, guilt, abandonment, and rage all swirled together.  When I visit a sacred grove of Sequoia trees that is my personal soul space I can feel many of these fallen Kings there.  They are wanting to be connected to and felt in their pain.  They represent a more subconscious energy that feels to inhabit a more lower 4D frequency. They know what is up but feel powerless and even worthless to do anything about it.  I felt tears for them as I have felt my own fallen king and continue to do so.  

But right behind them are our High King/ Angelic presence.  The bridge to our true essence as Love´s co-creative force.  The rightful heir to our Throne of BEing.  We ARE already that.  They are watching us and aching for connection, to free ourselves from the chains of our own making. One´s that can only be shed with Love and Compassion.  The more we can feel and connect with them the more of our true power we can embody.  The more self-love we can manifest and send back to the collective with open hearts.  

So when I hear of tidbits of news from 3D, I go into my heart and feel myself.  I feel the war raging inside others and send them as much love that I have to offer from my own well.  I feel each one as a sacred brother on their own journey of lesson and discovery.  With each new opening of love within myself ripples itself out into the Heart of Man.  Connecting to other High Kings to serve this love is my calling and purpose in whatever way that shows up, whether through my own journeys, writing, or spaceholding.  I feel the true masculine is a beautiful and powerfully creative expression of Divinity.  He so much more than we could ever imagine and  as we go into our own hearts and face our shadow, the true essence of Man is revealed in all His glory.  And a new timeline emerges….

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com.  Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

From Sword to Chalice: The Journey of the King of Hearts


By Raphael Awen

If there’s one thing about a King, in our minds at least, he does what he wants, when he wants.

He is anything but small.

In our deepest heart-picture of this King, he knows the greatest fulfillments possible because he is a benevolent King. He rules with the best interests of all in his Kingdom. And in this way, the heart of the King, extends to his Queen, which kindles a hearth, and this hearth-warmth extends beyond to fill the entire Kingdom. Wealth and bounty are the results.

This idealized picture is more than a picture. It is a way of being that anyone who wants to can tune into and play in and on the instrument of their lives.

And it’s not gender specific. There is nothing quite so powerful and beautiful as a woman who knows her own inner King. She knows the ‘he’ of her ‘she’.

This true King of hearts however didn’t end up here simply by being lazily born into something. No, life brought him a very individual and specific-to-him set of circumstances that he navigated from the bridge of his heart when there seemed like nothing to gain and everything to lose. In fact, he’s lost many things and many times, more than once excruciatingly so.

One of the first things he had to let go of by way of deep loss was the fight for what was right and the need to be right to instead allow his feeling heart to sort out what was truly right on a far deeper scale than a moral dictate. In this way, great internal conflicts had to be faced and felt, navigated and negotiated to arrive here at peace with self. His outer kingdom is only and ever a reflection of the pursuit of his own inner kingdom. His entitlements are really his ‘in’-titlements. He’s found all he’s found through his own heart. No one had to be made any less for him to know his more. And no one or no thing can take away what he’s possessed.

The heart of the King is a place of rest now from fighting for anything where peace now reigns, and all subjects in his kingdom can feel an unmistakable emanation of that peace. The sword has been replaced by the chalice.

All of us, male and female, can know this inner King state. Arriving here is a way of being and is the result of a desired and decreed journey of the heart that you choose yourself, for you and by you. After all, you are the sovereign of your own heart and your inner Kingdom and your inner Queendom extend to all you know, and beyond to those you don’t yet know. This outer reflection of others matching the inner reflection of the discovery and peace that now exists between all parts of yourself…

And somehow, in this magical YOUniverse, there is no shortage of space for everyone’s Kingdom. The presence of yours is not to the detriment of mine. You having all you want and need and desire, no matter how large and grand, is not at my expense in any way. In fact, the opposite is true in this infinitely abundant reality. Abundance flows from this Kings heart. There’s actually way more than can ever be needed or used. When I feel your real and true abundance, your heart bounty…it triggers my own, more and more.

Our challenge has gone from not having to having. What in the world will you do with all this? Your task has now changed from seeking what you want and need to finding a place to share your bounty.

Who could have imagined when you set out in this journey, feeling so pressed by what felt missing, that this would be your ending? How could such unrest and an urge to fight lead to such peace and rest? The timelines have merged. The fight has collapsed into love.

You found you. You let in you. It was no small undertaking, but my god, was it ever worth the entire journey…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

In Service Of The Vulnerable Man

download (1)

Vulnerability is the portal to our heart`s longing and truest self.  Our most prized gift.  In our `time` here in this dimension many aspects of our soul have been through many painful experiences, as well as the conscious experiences we have had in this life.  It is not a fault for us to have a shield and need to suppress something that feels scary.  All this happens many times on a subconscious and unconscious level.  We created a protection because we know how valuable we are.  How amazing we are.  It was authorized by our Higher Self.  But then the time comes when Love begins to make its way to our doorstep in whatever fashion that may be.  Through pain, challenge, pleasure, or resistance.  We begin to feel the dissonance inside us viscerally and the only really true relief is through letting your Truth be exposed.  

I had deep tears today as I am feeling Love wanting to enter my field and upend all that a part of me has been clinging onto to resist the power of its immense Blessing.  I could feel in one moment all the ways in which I, and my soul aspects, have built walls to keep me from risking and letting spirit lead me to this sacred union.  I don`t judge this.  I used to.  Today was a deluge that comes from letting that authentic feeling of remorse that comes and showers you with all the love you can possibly let in.  It is a mixture of pleasure and pain.  

There is a reason for the invulnerability and a consequence.  The longer we suppress what truly scares us the harder it can be to feel.  However, I have come to believe it happens when it is supposed to happen.  To this part of us, there is no good time to feel our vulnerability and fear.  I have been through many phases of this facing hard truths and feeling fears.  It is a spiral that continues to send us all the healing we need as we need it.  One layer of healing brings us to another layer of shadow until we are becoming more and more in tune with our most authentic self.  It is a sacred process that cannot be ignored in my heart.

I feel this area of vulnerability is a huge part of the collective male experience.  Different men have different levels and comfortability with vulnerability.  There are numerous reasons for it, but ultimately we fear our own power and the unworthiness that covers over it. This is the Age of the Vulnerable Man.  It is time for us to heal our biggest pains so we can enter this Golden Earth that is NOW.  I feel a veil lifted off of me from my tears, but I am not `done`.  I have more to continue to feel as Love continues its dance with me.  I am okay with this.  I honor this. I feel its sacred balm and alchemical manifestations.  Or WOMANifestations when it comes to drawing romance.

So in the end, I could feel the Divine telling me that ascension is not really all about what you know, but it is about what you feel.  It is simply about letting in Love in its most purest and unfettered glory.  Simply stated not so simply surrendered to.  Being vulnerable with ourselves and with each other is the only way to get to the heart of what we were truly meant to be.  To have someone you can trust to hold that space for it is one the most intimate experiences you can have outside of romance.  With each touchstone movement, a new wave of self-love comes in and expands my heart to serve those who are in a space of needing healing.  It is what I am here to BE and serve.  

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com


Venturing Into The Unknown: Sacred Masculine Blog Series

By Raphael Awen



So what is this thing out there called ‘the sacred masculine’ or, as it’s equally referred to, ‘the divine masculine’?

The sacred masculine, like the sacred feminine, isn’t easily defined or contained in words, because they are both an energy, a force, a wave form of a specific bandwidth of frequency. They are an awareness of something more than what is in your current consciousness around the masculine or the feminine. It’s a humble admission of ‘I know that I don’t know.’ Herein lies its qualification to be referred to as the divine, or sacred,….it’s in the humility to be in wonder, and to have a reverence for something more that you want, but don’t currently have.

The masculine, however, is by itself sacred. Masculinity itself doesn’t really need the words sacred or divine to designate it as anything more than it already is. In a profound way, two guys sharing beers in a bar, checking out women and watching football is a form of the masculine out seeking to know itself. Even Donald Trump’s recently much maligned words about women is a form of the masculine out trying to know itself. Admittedly, there isn’t any awareness or consciousness around wanting more, or anything touching on an expression of what we’d call the ‘reverent’ to be found here, but even in this unconsciousness, masculinity is out seeking to know itself.

Masculinity itself, like femininity, is the reverent thing. It can’t be made any more or less reverent than it already is. The only thing there is to change is your relationship to it. It’s the ground of your relationship to the thing, not the thing itself that either lets in or holds at bay the reverence factor. To feel this is the beginning of reverence. It’s the beginning of making space for the sacred inside of you.

What is it that you want in relationship to the masculine? What is it that you feel is lacking or missing in your relationship to the masculine? This wanting and willingness to admit a missing piece is what is the essence of your relationship to the masculine. It is making space for desire. It is making space for longing.

That’s just about all for the moment, except that I welcome working with you personally and directly in dedicated session space man to man if what I offer and the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life offers calls to you. Our sessions page is here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Stay tuned for more on the sacred masculine!

Raphael Awen is co-creator, facilitator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about healing sessions with Raphael.

The Kingdom Within: Diary Of A Heartman Blog Series

By Sequoia Heartman


We are not truly separate in the wider picture. If we are going to truly evolve as a species, we must agree that our inner world has a direct influence on our outer world.


At the end of last week´s blog I called out to you, my brothers in heart and soul, to join me in recreating a new picture of how we relate to each other as men. It isn’t as easy as just deciding or desiring to make that happen. There is work to be done. We tend to want to focus on ¨fixing¨ the outer world through our actions and words. We might take up a political, environmental, or social justice cause to help turn this global Titanic around. These are noble and imperative. I do not wish to dissuade anyone from engaging in these endeavors. We as men have what seems like a program to focus on the external: to assess problems and apply solutions. There is also a collective male need to have something of one’s own that we alone have authority over. “A man´s home is his castle,” is an expression that comes to mind. This is an outward expression of an inner primal urge.

But the root of our current picture lies within each and every one of us as individuals and then is networked out as a collective. If we see it that way, as a network of individuals, we can understand how one of us greatly affects the other. We are not truly separate in the wider picture. If we are going to truly evolve as a species, we must agree that our inner world has a direct influence on our outer world.

Take a snapshot of the world and you get a picture of what is happening inside of us in the deepest pockets of our unconscious. The consciousness of our current leaders is a manifestation of this collective tragedy and, instead of making anything better, they are actually making things worse. So, we need a new leader. One that is willing to see and feel this truth. One that is willing to rise to the throne of their inner kingdom and awaken the inner King.

The path of the true King is through the heart. Inside all of us, both men and women alike, is an inner terrain of energies that manifest as parts or subpersonalities. These are explained in detail here. There are also etheric energies that we could call our Soul Brothers under the banner of our MetaSoul which is eloquently introduced here. Consider these parts of yourself and your soul as your subjects, advisors, and court. They all hold some of your power, wisdom, and love, but initially they may be elusive, resistant, and down right ornery. Some will even try and assume the throne until you are present enough to lovingly unseat them.

There are many tunnels and hidden caves inside your inner castle. Each one leading to previously unknown aspects of yourself. As you engage in this inner exploration, your outer expression begins to shift, as well as the networked collective. You are making shit happen from just where you are. No need to be elected into a seat of power. You already have it!

But this inner alchemy is very sensitive to outer influences. If you find yourself surrounded by distractions, whether it is a big city, a busy lifestyle, or an unsupportive environment, it will be difficult to make substantial changes in a certain period of time. And as our collective ship is approaching the proverbial iceberg, time is running out. The kingdom within can be deeply accessed in a supportive, off-grid environment. A place where all your former distractions are removed, in a healthy and compassionate process. A place where people have been exploring their own inner kingdoms and making changes from the inside out.

Am I selling staying with us at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary? Damn straight I am. I want you here. I want us to explore our kingdoms together, get to know each other, and grow and learn from each other.  I want us to collaborate and create a new way of being and living together. I don’t want you in that hell hole you find yourself in everyday, just for the sake of maintaining an old attachment to the tired story. I want to feel you in your guts and nuts. Your heart and soul. I want to be invited into your castle, man. There’s good shit in there!

But if you cannot find your way here, then find your way somewhere. Anywhere that is not connected to the dying machine. I feel you in my heart, brother, and I want you out. Out of the powerless and into your power. Out of your head and into your heart. Out of the dark and into the light. You are the most important person in the world, just as you are. You are a true beacon of hope and change, not some political wank´s campaign slogan. You are true King among the pretenders. But you gotta get out and go in.

If you have any comments or reactions to what I have written, please leave a comment or you can personally email me at sequoia.heartman@gmail.com.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher at SoulFullHeart Sanctuary. Visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary website for more.


Crisis Of The Modern Male: Urgency For Kings

Photo Taken by Michael Rowley
Photo Taken by Michael Rowley

By Wayne Vriend

What does manhood look like now, in these modern times?

What is it? How does it express? What does a deep and genuine self worth look like in a male expression?

Men aren’t generally given to asking such questions. It isn’t part of the current male persona. I want to ask the men I encounter: ‘Are you too busy subscribing to others’ ideas of maleness that you don’t have the time, energy, desire, or imagination to find your own?’

It is only our false selves who fear inquiring about whether our masculine expression is real or not. To ask the question is to be open to finding something lacking or missing and false selves have a hard time with that, given as they are to making do and finding a way. Our authentic self however, has no such judgments, or fears of finding something lacking or missing, but rather welcomes it as part of self loving discovery and change. The authentic self accepts how we were in life up until present time as part of our sacred process and journey.

In past times and cultures, one of the treasured male stories was to die in battle. Dying while fighting for a just cause was the ultimate bestowal of honor. A current honor story for men in the western world is career and home ownership. Men have always been afraid of being without a male story to live into and attempt to embody.

We are in a time of the ‘changing of the story,’ where our old stories are losing their appeal and coming apart at the seams, and new stories are forming, but not solidly here yet. Soulfullheart desires to be a conscious part of that coalescing into people’s lives.

Stand in front of a magazine stand and see for yourself. Fitness, photography, news, sailing, sports, technology, travel, architecture, cars, with sex sprinkled throughout, and porn at the back. All of it is an appeal to the ache in men to find male expression, male power, male passion, male-ness, and a stiff cock. It wouldn’t sell if there wasn’t a need.

Every man walking around has a boy part inside seeking his way home, to himself, to truly becoming a man. The ones who can admit that are actually our deepest current leaders of true masculine expression.

We ache for it, but our false selves also deeply fear what happens when just one man actually openly admits he’s looking for it, let alone finds some of it. The world doesn’t remain the same and it freaks out the powers that be in his world. He isn’t so predictable any more. He surely is far less controllable, way less nice, and things may in fact get messy before they get better.

And none of us can do this in a vacuum, without something to press against, without some story to affect, without something at stake. It is why you are here. Your world will change. Relationships will change. You will change.

In the archetypal movie Braveheart, William Wallace fires up his troops at the edge of the battle, with the choice between their lives or their freedom; both of which were at stake; both of which provided a deep sense of meaning to fight for. What is different today is that we have been lulled to sleep awash in freedoms and with no immediate threat to our lives.

Where’s the meaningful fight now?

What have you out of fear given up on? What power have you left laying around for manipulative and insecure men to gather up and use against you? What is it that you really want, standing in front of that magazine rack, attending that church, being in that corporate setting, bellied up to that bar, attending that family gathering? Could you say what you are feeling to those around you, and see where it takes you?

What is being asked for by the universe, by the Divine, in men is to cease from joining and giving allegiance to anything, be it an army, a church, a country, a family – any cult-ure where you are required to give over your power and autonomy to prop up someone else’s picture of manhood. You will only ensure that you will never find your own. For many men, that is the point. They are afraid of finding their own manhood. They are afraid to admit it. They’re afraid of of the journey it will take. They are afraid of themselves, and for good reason. They are truly powerful!

You already are a man. You are just still searching for what that means. Giving your authority away to an outside-of-you group, in exchange for some reflected pittance of your own power is fast becoming a done deal. The more we attempt to energize this gasping for breath story, the faster will be its demise.

For the moment, the new emerging story has more to do with letting go of that which we know isn’t us in order to make room to discover what it is. We will naturally go on to embody these new stories, but for now, we will need to find a grace to be with a feeling of vacancy. This however is not a vacuum at all, but a pregnant alchemy of something new seeking a critical mass in our collective consciousness.

SoulFullHeart Men’s Circle is a group of men called together by me, Wayne Vriend, to be a new exploration of what it means to be male, to be alive, and to be expressing that in the world. If this calls out to you, I invite you to join us. And, if you know men who would resonate with this message, please forward this blog to them.

​Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart healing process.