parts work process – Page 3 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

‘Can You Come Out To Play?’ An invitation from Marvin, Raphael’s Inner Child

Published on July 30, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

What would it take for you to come out and play again?

I know deep down, you really want to. But something has you to itself right now.

Is it a sadness that the joys you once had so much fun with are gone now?… And you don’t know how you could ever have that much fun again?

Or is it that you can’t see who would want to be with you and have your kind of fun?

I’m not trying to figure you out. You’re way too big of a being to be figured out. I just want you to come out to play again when you are ready to.

I do feel something for you, if you’d let me share it with you?

I can feel that life as you once knew it changed somehow, and you knew some really cool joys in that old life, but that life dried up and went away. You found something really, really cool, and now it’s gone. Now, you’re sad, and that’s okay.

I think I know something else too that I’d like to share with you if you’d let me. And that is that when people lose things like you lost, they don’t actually let themselves feel what they lost and how sad they actually are. They keep their tears inside. I did that for a long time. It’s like we don’t arrange and attend the funeral. I think I know something too about why we tend to do that, that it is about how we are afraid the tears will swallow us somehow, and we will be no more.

If that’s true, then it means people do actually want to come out and play again, I mean, if they are afraid of being no more, right? Because being no more, would mean never to ever play again.

What if life is trying to bring you your next kind of play that really is your kind of funnest fun, but you aren’t sure you are ready to risk losing again?,…because you haven’t seen how losing isn’t as sad as it seems, if you let yourself be sad, then the sadness moves, and you get to come out and play again…

You didn’t have to find the play that you once loved so much. It found you, and fun is trying to find you again.

I think that’s just the way it is. People are afraid to be sad because they aren’t sure they are ready just yet for their next fun, their next play.

It’s okay if you don’t think so. That’s just the way I do. I can be sad with you, if you’d like me to…., to feel what you lost and then maybe we can share tears together, which is one kind of play I like to have whenever I need to.

I’ve lost lots of things, but I always find that new things are wanting and ready to come in.

(From the beloved younger part of me called Marvin)

Raphael Awen

Join me for a free intro into what working together in session space could look like for you: SoulFullHeart.org/sessions.

Pics below are from Jelelle and I’s recent trip to Nazaré on Portugal’s silver coast.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.
The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

The Desire For What Really Matters In The Ascending Masculine

Published on July 30, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I know some things about the ascending masculine, if I could call it that.

Men who feel a conscious desire to excel and grow and matter in life, in love, in their relationships.

I know these things about you, because I’ve come to know them in myself.

There’s always much more to come to know, and one of the growth points for this ascending masculine is the challenge and willingness to feel like a beginner over and over again, to admit that there’s so much that can’t be delineated, measured or accurately described with the mental body.

It can only be felt with the heart.

My heart wants to grow beyond what feels like present limitations. I want to grow in being transparent with my world, to hide my real self less and less and less. I want to radiate that presence in the physical world around me and into all the soul connections and timelines I’m a part of.

Nothing else ‘matters’, for all that matters comes from the divine ‘Ma-ter’, from where we derive our word ‘Mother’. She Ma-ter-ializes all things that matter to me. In union with divine father, we have a template for reparenting all the parts of us who long for reunion.

What is it that is calling for your heart attention and choice? Do you have a sense of what wants to be next for you? Are you willing to be transparent with yourself and your world about what’s not working, what hurts like hell and what you do know about your calling and being?

I’d love to serve you in that. I offer a free intro call as a way for you and I to connect to feel if the work I offer, along with my heart, feel like a fit for you. More info about that here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

It is so interesting to feel how the feminine has been willing to lead in this domain of really feeling and really healing. I personally know of several women who’s eyes are on the horizon for a man who’s ready to choose himself, his calling and purpose. Mateship offers a huge growth ground, especially when it’s mutually chosen for one’s deepest growth and learning. Maybe that’s a big one for you as it has been for me.

I very much welcome hearing from you and would love to host my free intro with you to help you feel if working together ongoingly feels like a fit for you. If not, no questions asked or anything further expected.

~ Raphael

I just got back today from a few days at the ocean with my beloved, Jelelle Awen.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Healing Perfectionism With Divine Love

Published on July 13, 2022 by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Perfectionism is expressed by many different parts of us, in varied ways and for so many reasons. I’m sure many of us can relate to the constant need to control the outcome or appearance of everything we do. The fear of doing something wrong or being judged for it is running in the background of our minds even in everyday, simple tasks. We often feel tension and anxiety when something unfolds in a way we did not expect or control. Maybe it comes up when you have reactions you don’t want to have, or there’s conflict you wanted to avoid, or you chose to do something that you realize others would judge.

Perfectionism is often used as a way to protect the most precious and vulnerable parts of us which has been so needed in certain phases of our lives. Overtime it becomes so ingrained in us from messaging by society, matrix coding from as far back as birth, personal desire to appear a certain way, and to avoid judgement and loss. But it gets to a certain point where it prevents those vulnerable parts from growing into their bigness and recognizing that they don’t need that protection to the same degree anymore.

Perfectionism for myself has been so strong my entire life. I strived to be a perfect student, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, perfect daughter, perfect community member. And slowly but surely I’ve come to unwind this ingrained desire to avoid any and all judgement and conflict. Much of this has been rooted in the idea that I’m not good enough and that I’ll lose everything I love so much. The moment we separated from the Divine, we were given an underlying feeling of guttural and tragic loss of our home frequency of love and connection. So much unworthiness stems from that loss and everyday we try to prove we are good enough to the divine in some way, shape or form.

Freedom can be found in the moments when all parts of us are nourished and aligned: heart, body, mind, soul and spirit. When we allow ourselves to let in true divine love, we are then able to realize that we can truly do no wrong from the perspective of the Divine. This is really the only place we can find unconditional love and acceptance. When we let go of expectation, obligation and self consciousness – we find liberation.

Freedom for me was felt in the picture I’ve attached to this post. That week I felt the words from the Divine rumble through me when she said “You are my everything”. The energy and truth of these words started to unlock this strong hold parts of me had on the idea of not being good enough. We truly are everything to her – everyone of us and in every way. In the moment of this picture I stepped away from something that was bringing me tension and took in beautiful nature and sunset codes with my beloved Kasha and every part of me felt nourished and aligned.

Freedom is found when we take the time to remind every part of ourselves, even the ones that are hard to love, that they always have been and always will be good enough. Even when there’s room to grow, even when there are regrets, even when the future is unknown – they are good enough and more. And the more we see this bigness in ourselves, the more we can see and feel it in others. And from there, the love spreads like wildfire.

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

From Warrior To Ambassador: The Illusion Of Good vs. Evil

Published on July 7, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

As more and more of us become aware and convinced that the world is not as we thought it was, we’re collectively left in a vacuum of cognitive dissonance, confusion and chaos.

Personally, I’ve been convinced for many years of the horror realities of human trafficking and the depopulation agenda, and all the surrounding phenomena, but I’m finding a new layer of emotive dissonance arising inside of me in coming to terms with what’s at hand now, energized by the tsunami of collective awakening happening underway, along with the collective’s sorrow and the v. injuries and sudden deaths coming to light.

What might the scope of all this end up looking like? How long will the darkness seem to prevail?

If you also find yourself in this restlessness, whether in moments or in largely complete endless overwhelm, know that your being has a range of expressions and parts that span 3D, 4D and 5D realities. Parts of us have totally familiarized and adapted ourselves to everyday consensus reality of linearity, lack, etc that we find in 3D. But we also have parts of us that see beyond what once felt like 3D was all that there was into the realms of the chaos and transformations of 4D. Then we also have parts of us that remember the joy and harmony of union with the All, where both sorrow and joy weave in a deep aliveness expressing as the divine beings that we are in our true heart home of 5D. No need to get hung up on the definitions and labels of these dimensions or the numbering of them, but just a way to offer a sketch of a map that your heart and soul knows.

You already are and always were a multidimensional being, even as you are becoming more conscious of and in flow with this truth that always was.

There’s one piece I’d really like to share with you today in all this that I feel lays the groundwork for some real digestion of the craziness at hand. I invite you to come with me into an exploration for a few moments.

I’ll just spit it out and then take a longer look at it:

Love is the one and only source of all that is, including the darkest horrors we can imagine or witness.

We are not in a battle of good vs. evil where we must cheer on and support the good to overcome and destroy the evil.

The battle of good vs. evil is an all too real illusory reality of 3D, but one we must come to a higher vantage point to relate with if we want to navigate the horrors we are witnessing now unfolding.

Allow me to toss in a few more points here to land in your intuition where they will…

What we are at war with externally evidences an internal war happening inside of us. If the evildoers must be punished forever, then that dynamic is alive inside of us, between our Inner Punisher and other parts of us, albeit just off our radar.

What if the whole all too real reality of good vs. evil was part of the divine’s experiment and expression into duality from an original state of oneness? Very beautiful, yes, but without duality, it couldn’t be known, felt and appreciated…

What if the ratcheting up of the tension in this good vs. evil dimension is part of the divine plan for a full circle reconciliation of this experiment where the heightening of the duality creates and is necessary for our divine awakening into the love that all of us are and always were, including the ‘evildoers’?

Consciousness itself is sponsoring the entire show we are seeing unfold right now. Love is holding it all. Many souls chose on a soul level to be a part of the suffering in the 3D and 4D expression of their being as part of the contribution to this experiment that love undertook. Love knew that duality would entail suffering, but it knew that suffering would take us somewhere beyond where it was in oneness bliss. Love wanted to journey. Your and my suffering is part of the fuel of this journey.

Deep in our psyche is the awareness that sacrifice is necessary for movement into fullness. In the Christian faith, we have the teaching that ‘without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sin’. Something has to die so that same something might come alive. In our limited 3D vision, we made that about a sin filled and separated-from-God humanity needing a personal savior from the results of a ‘fall’ into sin and God’s wrath. But what if all we actually ‘fell’ into was this chosen experiment of duality along with the attendant and necessary forgetfulness?

If that’s accurate, then those participating in the darkness are the divine’s agents as much as are the lightworkers; then the darkest deeds in your own this-life and soul history are also all part of this divine expression from oneness into duality.

And if that’s accurate, then the trajectory we are on is into remembrance, reconciliation, restoration of the All that was ‘lost’, and MORE.

This more is mysteriously unfolding in you and I, in this collective darkest night we’ve seen to date. Love is inviting us to hang around for the more, as an infinite unfolding of all that we can handle.

What can ease the intense discomfort of the moment is making for personal reconciliations within, with the parts of us who feel the deepest despair or shame, for harm caused, feeling how a divine amnesty and forgiveness extends over all of it.

Then from there, a natural and effortless expression of ‘as inside, so outside’ begins to extend from us to others. The darkest darkness is also wanting reconciliation and is spring loaded by the heightened tension and the tug of war of good vs. evil drama and trauma to return fully and suddenly to the love that it is sourced in.

Both the warrior within and without are now being invited, if and when they are ready, to lay down their weapons, reconcile the harm they’ve participated in, all the while believing they were fighting for the good, and then to accept the mantle of Ambassador, with a heart broken open and vulnerable to the great sadness, sorrow and loss that is still unfolding. All self righteousness extinguished under the infinite love and forgiveness and reconciliation with the divine experiment and journey we are all a part of. Sorrows felt, rather than medicated down or avoided. Tears wept.

Now your life, exactly as it is right now, takes on the most exquisite poignancy and meaning as a place from which to transact and make real this reconciliation within and then without. Every anxiety and depression in ‘circumstance’ a standing stone circle portal entry into this All That Is, that awaits your sovereign choice of ongoing continued awakening, at a rate and pace that allows for feeling and healing all that wants and needs to be felt and healed. Savoured, not savioured.

Jelelle’s book and audio book ‘Free To Be 5D’ are a great exploration and attunement to this more that wants to arise in you. You can find it here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe5dexcerpt

And there’s two upcoming group calls to be a part of if you’d like, Sunday, the 17th and Sunday, the 24th:

https://www.soulfullheart.org/events

If we can be of assistance here at SoulFullHeart, please dig into our free resources, connect with us in whatever ways you are guided to, and if it feels like a fit, ask for a free intro into what personal one on one sessions can look like for you. More info on that here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

May you arise daily into more and more of all that you are meant to be, even amidst the moments that feel like falling.

~ R ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

The No Man’s Land Of Our Collective Grief

Published on May 5, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

If we take a step outside of this most challenging polarity moving through us right now as a species, we see where there’s something none of us really comfortable feeling.

If the anti injection people are correct, then there’s a wave of destruction and fear that is already here and scaling up at a pace we can only guess at.

If the pro experimental injection people are correct, then our sovereignty and autonomy is best left in the hands of a governing body who are better equipped to lead our lives.

Either way, we are giving up something of such huge proportions. I don’t think there’s a single one of us yet who’s felt the deepening scale of this.

Raging at it, or turning over and accepting it feel like two polarized ways of starting to work through it, but there’s still a huge no man’s land that I haven’t seen anyone step into.

In that no man’s land is something to feel.

Trying to describe it almost does it a disservice, for it can only really be felt, not described. But it has something to do with mourning and grief on a scale we haven’t known in this life.

Life as you and I knew it is changing rapidly, daily and minute by minute. Something big is dying and not returning, regardless of which side of the issue(s) you find yourself on.

People on both sides of the polarity believe they have spared themselves from some personal suffering. ‘According to their beliefs’, as Yeshua would say, ‘so be it unto them’. Beliefs are such strong personal reality creators, but they only go so far.

There’s a shared reality that whether it’s recognized or not, is happening. That reality is the shared boat we are sailing in. The hole in your end of the boat IS actually an issue to me. There’s only one boat, even as we are afforded individual bubbles within that boat, but OUR boat is sinking.

We all chose to be a part of this transition, and to give up a quality of an old life to be a part of anchoring in a new life. Whether you are injection injured, (and my heart breaks for you if you are) or out promoting getting the next booster, we are going somewhere.

There’s somewhere we won’t be returning to.

That change calls into question every plan, every intention, every purpose, every sense of meaning. All of it is up for continual revision as we sort through what can and does feel crazy making and disorienting.

Nothing makes sense in the old way. In the interim, we’re all grasping for the new way that isn’t quite here yet.

I don’t know any other way to be with it, other than to feel this surrender to what is, open my heart to being further activated into this care for myself and our beautiful collective that would choose such transition through such confusion as a planetary group soul’s higher choice and service to the divine’s unfolding of itself through us.

WE chose this. WE created it. The polarity is of OUR creation. When you accept that, you get baptized into being a YOU in service of the WE.

You get to care. You get to feel. You get to mourn. You get to weep the tears others aren’t ready yet to weep. You even get to thrive in love as you take part in honoring the death all around.

You get to be in the real moment that is here now.

And in that moment we see that the deeper our polarities, the deeper our shared reality.

Raphael

We are offering a gathering place of community engagement around a shared new experience of life in community, vulnerability and transparency at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/, in exchange for $22.22 USD per month. If you feel drawn, we would love to have you join us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Spiritual Mastery As An Avoidance Of Vulnerability

Published on May 5, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

The path of spiritual mastery or attainments has been basically useless to me for several years, other than to often trip me up in comparison or self judgment games.

The thing was, I used to be able to muster some impressive consistent self discipline and regimen, set goals and stick to them, and that way of being in life doesn’t let go easily, even as it collapses at the same time.

I don’t think I’m alone in this by a long shot. I think what I’m feeling personally is more of a reflection of what the masculine is coming to terms with now as consciousness itself shifts and changes.

Mastery served us well for a time to come to know our power. It moved us from an inferiority complex, but now threatens us with a superiority complex. Both however are non-relational and both are non-vulnerable, and both don’t actually have mastery over anything in the bigger picture of what we really want and need.

At nineteen, I went out jogging every single day for over a year, without missing a day, rain, snow or shine. How I felt didn’t matter, other than holding onto this feeling of I can do whatever I set my mind to. I thought at the time that I’d do this for the rest of my life, because with each passing day, my record of achievement was getting bigger, better as well as harder to lose.

That’s the thing with attainment and spiritual masteries. They are like rolling a stone up a hill that will one day succumb to gravity, and the higher up you roll the stone, the greater its velocity and path of destruction to your self perception and who knows what else when it gives way to nature, as it is sure to do one day.

Men particularly have been so addicted to doing the right thing and the good thing, the thing that once did have meaning, purpose and even connection, with love, life and nature, that they naturally fear letting go of. It matters less how noble the thing, just heaven forbid that you should be without some animating thing.

How could something so good lose its value over time?

If all this mastery and attainment grasping is becoming an old way, is there a new way that wants to come in its place? I have my ideas and answer to this, but do you have a sense of your arising truth around this?

Maybe mastery was just a placeholder holding us as men in a place of being mastered over, until we were ready to enter a whole new dimension of mystery, coming to know our power through the doorway of vulnerability and transparency?

Paul talked about the ‘schoolmaster of the law’ being over us until being introduced to Christ consciousness, which is more about being changed in core nature. Was he already hinting at this two thousand years ago?

It seems the old way of gaining mastery was really about gaining mastery over our vulnerability and never having to be transparent. We were holding a suppressive lordship over ourselves.

You may still be feeling like a millionaire holding some masteries, but I’ll bet life isn’t supporting you any longer to naturally sustain that. All the millionaires and billionaires of today are finding it harder and harder and super costly to effort sustaining those holdings.

These feelings are coming up for me today as I have an opportunity to have a session later today with a dynamic man and big soul who has a heartcry unfolding. I could feel some tension inside and went inwards to feel what it was about.

I connected with all of my inner masculine aspects of me from this life and other timelines that I feel living in me differentiated and unique, and asked their reactions to meeting with a man.

Here’s the pieces that came back to me in dialogue with them. (It feels good to get to the underlying push and pull and where and how it lives in parts of us and their needs. Now, we don’t try and fix the fade on one mastery with another mastery campaign somewhere else.)

“I don’t like men who speak their truth as thee truth without acknowledging their belief system that gave birth to those truths. They don’t feel safe or kind.” Marvin

“I don’t feel comfortable being around men who energize their spiritual mastery or attainments. It doesn’t feel real to me. If they are onto something, I feel stuck in a comparison game or left out. Mastery just hasn’t worked for me in decades. The mastery path as we’ve known it feels non relational and non vulnerable.” Wayne

“I’d like to serve men again. I feel trust that we know we won’t hurt or harm without care and kindness, but I also know that we and you and us are going to need to be awake, ready, in our stance, on our game, with our truth, not letting reactions get internalized. Men are looking for a mirror of truth.” Arthur

“You have a magic in you, Raphael, and that gets to come out and serve and be given when you simply be you, transparenting whatever you are feeling. I like serving men because then we get to dance in the magic and be around other mens magic too.” Charles

“What an opportunity to feel the heartbeat and heartcry of men, instead of dominating or controlling them. They aren’t / we aren’t that complex in some ways. We just want connection, meaning, and purpose” Lionel

Thanks for reading, especially as a man, and maybe as a woman, you can feel this as the masculine polarity inside of you and one that is or is wanting to transmute into these new directions?

I’m curious!

~ R ~

Our online portal is one gathering place for the new. You can find it here: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Big heartfelt acknowledgement and thank YOU to Gabriel Amara for leading this charge with me while we surrender to divine timing for more men in the room.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Bearing The Burden Of Love’s Unsolvable Mystery

Published on May 5, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Realizing that all of your awakening is only ever but a measure is humbling. Then realizing that infinity bears no measure is more humbling still.

We are all in the awakening and we are all in the slumber. Love is playing with us, dancing with us, wanting to come to know itself through us, knowing that it never will and never wants to because of its own infinity. It just does what it does for the joy, reverence awe and wonder of it all.

Love invites you to meet with it there, in the unknown, in the surrender, where every mistake is an infinite success, where every pain is the source of unspeakable healing.

You bear the burden of love’s unsolvable mystery.

You can’t be solved or fixed because even your belief that you needed fixing is all a part of this mystery of being.

This being that you are; infinite, pretending with your measuring tape; omniscient, pretending to be missing a memo; omnipresent, pretending to be in one place at one time; omnipotent, pretending to be lacking something, ALL is love at play.

You have lots of awakening to do, but not for the attainment of it, for it literally gets you nowhere.

But when you get there, you won’t ever want to go back, and you won’t want to stop dancing with this love moving through you.

Xo,

~ R ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Masculine Energy Update: April 24, 2022

Published on April 24, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

‘What can be shaken will be shaken’ and that’s pretty much everything.

If you thought you could create an unshakeable life, I imagine that you are either humbly and willingly reconsidering that presupposition or you are simply being forced to reconsider it.

Every electron that makes up every atom in every cell is in an oscillating push and pull kind movement. It is energy in motion and it’s trillions of times over just inside of your body alone. The solar rumblings that are going on are a macrocosm of the microcosm. You have your own ‘coronal mass ejections’ and solar flares happening inside of you on the quantum scale trillions of times over. You are not only affected by the sun, but you are affecting the sun as you are in quantum entanglement with all consciousness.

Every consensus reality that we’ve created in relationship to purpose, meaning, identity, money (exchanging ourselves in the world), romance, all of it is rumbling like never before. And it is crazymaking for our conscious minds to attempt to sort out as our conscious minds are not trained to handle this degree of shaking.

There is often nothing to do but surrender to the ride in the unknown and trust as best you can. Something from beyond our normal waking consciousness is going to have to meet you to sustain you in order to not overly suffer through this legitimate and inescapable suffering.

Take the practice of ghosting for example, that’s becoming so the norm in dating and in the workplace where recruiting is concerned. These are Titanic like behaviors of people who intuitively know that the ship is sinking, that there really is no tomorrow worth trusting in and that the default agenda is to get the most pleasure out of the immediate moment because that’s all there is. Do it at anyone else’s expense because me and my pleasure is all that matters. As nasty as that behavior is, it’s also part of the rebirth. These old masculine structures are emitting a heart cry for a death doula to assist them in completing the arc of their usefulness in our consciousness evolution, and so even the densest of hearts and souls respond to this heartcry.

Love never has allowed unanswered suffering to sustain, but love has not been afraid of allowing suffering to spike. We are in a spike like never before that is connected to, amplifying as well as answering all previous spikes.

Consciousness is reinventing itself, and it’s doing that through you and me, in your life and mine as we know it. Naturally, we feel it first as it affects how we feel as individuals, our personal life as we know it, how we feel today, but we are invited to feel it in the collective and here is where we find some answer for a balm to soothe the craziness we feel inside.

For me, in times like this, it often arises in an out of nowhere kind of feeling, of feelings of loss of wellbeing, meaning, purpose, rest and trust. I will consciously be able to feel how I have so much to be grateful for, but in these moments, I’ve lost all conscious feeling tones of that expanded gratitude. Instead, it feels gross, contracted, fearful, anxious, and hopeless. All is falling apart. There is a me there who can hold it with some self love around the experience, but the experience in moments can and does feel like it is almost all there is.

I’d love to take a poll here at this point and ask if you know of other spiritual teachers who’d be willing to admit this kind of reality inside. How many students and teachers are still busy in their ghosting worlds creating and cocreating these crumbling structures? Their purpose is just as sacred as mine, but theirs is stuck in a hell of a suffering loop if they are still busy selling wares on Titanic’s shifting deck; bullshit like how to turn your spiritual offering into a six figure or seven figure income. Six or seven figures of crumbling shit I might add!

My point is that everything is being transparented. By that I mean that everything that has been hidden is in process of being revealed. The big darknesses and the little ones. It’s not a morality police kind of revealing though. It is rather a revealing of finding and seeing how we are all one. What we do to an other, we do to ourselves. What ‘the one’ goes through, we can’t escape feeling it. Your unshakeable reality will be shaken to the place where the only salvation will be in getting real.

Getting real with yourself, with the divine, and with others. It’s the only mirror in which you will be afforded a picture of yourself that will be of any help. And incidentally, YOU do matter and how YOU fare does matter. It’s not about getting over yourself. It’s about getting into yourself and coming alive and feeling how your thrival is inextricably connected with mine and everyone else’s. If you want to survive this shaking, let alone thrive in it, you’re going to have to figure out a way to give your deepest gifts, and those gifts are about getting real first.

And herein shall also be your greatest service. Even the darkest darkness like the current holocaust injection agenda and dominations over humanity are all a part of love’s unfolding story. Love has cooked up some cliffhanger plots that outdo anything we’ve ever seen written before, but this is the level of meltdown that is currently going on.

You see, your soul, your higher self, doesn’t see your comfort and survival in this 3D domain through the lens of your conditioned 3D self parts of you. These beautiful beings helped and help you do 3D as you’ve needed to, but now their vessel has been breached, they are at fatal threat until you can answer and reconcile what it is that you really want, and THEN, move towards it in some way.

I’d like to invite you to take such a step in joining our online free portal at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/. I’m being called to gather like hearts and souls into a resonance space to support one another, get to know and interact with one another and move forward through the craziness together. It feels like it’s either that or lay down and die. I want the former. How about you? I’d like to invite you not just to join me in this portal, but to invite others as well.

Lots more to come from life, from love, from this crazy ride. Let’s plan accordingly.

Raphael

(Photo taken by Tosi Philippe on April 22, 2022 )

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Now Free: We are now offering for free our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Finding Your Soul Tribe

Published on March 22, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Do you see yourself in some ways as different and unique from anyone else you’ve ever met?

Have you ever looked out upon the sea of spiritual offerings and spiritual teachers and the people in those communities, and just honestly said to yourself, I just can’t see myself being a genuine part of anything I can see out there?!

I have.

Prior to that, I have also found myself in long term settings and groups thinking I was there for life. I’d found the truth and that felt good to be settled around that, until that ‘nest for life’ became evident that the mama eagle was again making the nest prickly, preparing me to make a do or die leap from the nest, into a new world of flight.

Belonging and being a part of something larger than just myself was wired in me. That part I didn’t question. What I did come to question in community experience very deeply was where was the transparency, the vulnerability, and sometimes just where was the garden variety honesty in everyday life.

I knew I was being invited to become more and more honest with myself, but I wasn’t so sure the group I was a part of wanted that like I wanted it. The culture that we had created up till then was a different kind of social contract between us, and now, I was the one seeking to revise the unspoken agreements and sub-agreements within our dynamics.

I knew all too well, just from looking within myself, that people who believe they have thee truth are set upon preserving that truth, exporting that truth, feeling good about themselves for having found such worthy occupation and even divine calling.

I knew I was breaking a contract. The words of ‘I’m here forever’ had to be revised to mean that ‘you are in my heart forever, but I am called to journey outside of this precious home that has held me and you and us so beautifully for the time that it has’.

Not one person from within my known world wanted to join me in that kind of exploration. They remained true to the culture we had upheld so faithfully. And It wasn’t their time, simply like how for me, in a couple decades worth of belonging within something, it hadn’t been my time to look beyond its comforting confines. I grew and bloomed where I was planted; until I simply no longer could.

What came next however, was a deep despair.

I knew that if I found anything that just felt real, really real, transparently real, I’d be wanting to be a part of it. But whatever I checked out in the worlds of spirituality that I previously felt were way off in my watertight convictions about what was really true, I came to feel that the same kind of hiding from my former worlds was going on relationally and emotionally in the social fabric of these communities I considered being a part of. The frequencies may have been higher, and more evolved, and more sophisticated, and even more resonant in many ways, but I was stuck on this inescapable bottom line point of that unless we get real, with ourselves and in turn with one another, there really isn’t any hope for meaningful change, or any hope for truly having any fun for that matter.

I thought about how it might look to go forward in life, without really being much a part of anything deeper community wise. I didn’t like that feeling.

That’s precisely when I felt called to lead something new and to be a part of something new. I was surprised by seeing my lifelong focus of finding the right group led by others, within which I could really shine, in someone else’s container, seeing that arrangement have to be let go of, in order to say yes to something new, in order to say yes to a calling. As destiny would so beautifully have it, I was given a mate, Jelelle, with which to share and fuel that dream, and things unfolded to today.

But back to you for a moment, if I may?…

Where are you at? What are you feeling in your truth as you so graciously take in my truth? What are you doing with your own version of feeling (if that is in fact what you are feeling) that you can’t find a place you could fit in, with your honesty, with your transparency, with your truth, with your feelings of having outgrown previous settings and previous ways of being? What is it that you really want? I believe there is something apparent to you that you really want, and that something answers the rest of the somethings that need answering.

I’m saying all this to extend an invite to you, but honestly, it’s not really an ‘everyone welcome’ sign like the one that so unconditionally lovingly sits out front many churches, communities or spiritual groups. I know too much about what can’t work for me to make that kind of invitation. Everyone is welcome in my heart as my equal, but not to have in my active connection as it’s only through shared resonance around shared values that makes for a real connection. My invite is more exclusive. All of us, I feel, kind of self-organize into where we find deep and true resonance.

My invite today is more exclusive to those who share this honesty piece, this despair piece, this yearning for something different piece. My invitation is to come in closer in deep resonance and transparency in community.

What could shared resonance in shared community look like for you? How could your sovereignty be enhanced rather than sacrificed by being a part of something meaningful?

I may well be speaking to a single soul right now. I know this is meant for someone and maybe some more ones beyond that. But one is really all that matters, because the all is contained in the one, and the one is contained in the all.

On one hand, I don’t need you to be interested in my offer, as I feel a deep trust in the divine within that this desire in me, is destined to continue to be fulfilled, but on the other hand, unless a you, if not you, shows up to play, I have less with whom to play. I can’t be fulfilled as an island to myself. I need you. I want you. I’m not complete without you.

Ok, this is getting a bit deep. I’ll try not to apologize for my passion, and instead simply ask you to check into who I am, who my wife and I are as a couple, what we lead and offer, and beyond to who we are as a community, to feel if what you’ve felt rumble and resonate in you in my words today has any legs beyond remaining in a distant orbit in our galaxy.

I really do hope you find where you are meant to be where you thrive, flourish and grow like a weed, but with the beauty and bounty of a rose. I hope you get smelled and appreciated often, up close and personal, for your true fragrance. I hope a year from now, that you and those around you hardly recognize you for the aliveness that’s unfolded in you.

But please choose. For your sake, for mine, and all of ours. Nothing changes the world like your choice does and ongoingly finding your place.

There’s a few places to check deeper into my world, here on Facebook, on our website, YouTube, group calls, etc. I’d be beyond delighted to hear from you personally and I promise most of all to be real, and treasure your reaching out!

Thanks for feeling this and allowing it to take you where it will.

Much love,

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Living Between The Time And No-time Dimensions

Published on March 5, 2022 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I live in a village where church bells chime on the hour, every hour, reminding us of the dimension of time.

In time, there are many urgencies of what should and shouldn’t be. What would our lives be if it wasn’t for such urgencies? How could we maintain a sense of what life is and who we are without such parameters?

Outside of time, there are no urgencies, for all is both waiting to happen and has already happened. Both are equally true outside of time where all potentialities and outcomes equally exist.

If that’s true, and if it’s also true that you and I span the time and the no-time dimensions in the larger sense of who and what we are, then that opens up a whole other way of seeing and feeling our lives than we normally do in the more familiar time dimension.

Maybe the point of the things I want to do today in the time dimension, as well as the pretzel of sorting out what best deserves my time, and then sorting the next pretzel of finding the time and energy for such worthy doings; maybe all of that wants to be informed by the no-time dimension where it’s already all done, where doing doesn’t happen.

What we’d be left with would I imagine be something resembling play, like kids building forts with tea sets inside. It wouldn’t be a ‘real’ grown up house and a real grown up tea time, but as I recall, I never quite found something in all my adult years as simply fun and engaging as true play to the tune of what I did in childhood.

Maybe your and my inner child hasn’t actually become adapted to all these hourly reminders all around everywhere, the ones on our wrists, and the devices in our hands, keeping us here in the not so fun territory, in a world that feels overdosed on real.

Maybe it’s our inner children that hold the portal back to our essence and are inviting us into what they actually never lost, thank God, but only forgot, in our rush to grow up.

I recall the hour spent in church strangely as the most imprisoned and boring hour growing up, where time surely could not move any slower, like we needed to suffer in the time dimension, like we needed to shed a whole essence of our being and conform to something we were not.

Maybe we did need that. Maybe the church, like all of our institutions are still reminding us of how boring time is, when play is lost, how boredom is like a drill that bores vacuums in our lives that create space for new things to come in, which things are aching something out in us like a kid attempting to to sit still in church, an ache that precedes new creation.

How did we expect to find what we want if we didn’t encounter what we don’t want? Both are equally sacred and both took a lot of courage to choose. You are this courageous, for you chose to be here in both, both the longing and the realization of remembering and expanding on the divinity that you are, even through the comparison of discovering what it isn’t.

You and I are so surrounded by so much divinity on all sides that the things that don’t feel or look very divine are just dimmer switches and moderators allowing for the stuff we are learning and unlearning. This is all happening in the gap that is created in our perception between what is seen as divine and what isn’t.

I’m going to see if I can breathe in a whole big breath of no-time love from the no-time dimension side of my being in order to be with the time pretzels I feel around me in the time dimension, let the two of them get to know each other more.

Maybe as you and I figure this out, we solve this conundrum and deposit the answer/download somewhere in the no-time databank where it’s actually already solved somehow.

And here is where not only you and I get to be part of the deposit and the withdrawal from the time side of our experience, but so does everyone else get to be part of it. There is only one of us after all for whom all of this is and is being sorted out for.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

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