Until we surrender to our feelings, we are stuck in a stasis.
It has been said that our emotions are our e-motions, or our ‘energy in motion’. If life is anything, on whatever level you wish to look at it, be it physical, spiritual, metaphysical, micro, macro,….all of it is energy in motion.
And what you are feeling right now is energy moving through the energy-in-motion that YOU are. You are reading this seeking something. That is desire, want, seeking, moving through you. E-motive-ly. This is your motive for being.
People have long advised and devised multitudinous ways to overcome our feelings, reprogram our feelings, numb our feelings, but what we have failed to see in every one of these proposed solutions to our feelings is that the solution is proposing another feeling overlay to the one deemed unwanted.
We’re left with a inner war of feelings where one part of us in our psyche seeks to maintain dominance and control over another part of ourselves. This controlling part is then essentially running our lives, living our life as us. And gratefully so, some ‘one’ needs to look after life, until a new arising authentic us can show up to the relief of all involved.
Why we’ve worked so hard collectively to suppress and demonize (in many cases literally) our feelings is up for ongoing discovery, but for me, what feels so apparent is that it has been a way and a strategy for us to regulate the pace of our growth to what for most is a snail’s pace, or even a reverse direction, born out of the very real fear of our own bigness. Our feelings are the portal to our own greatness and the doorway out of our stasis into the infinity of love that we actually are.
Am I saying that feelings of depression or anxiety or rage are this portal to more? What about something so debilitating as shame, or the related inner critic? Are these emotions moving through me somehow a portal to my deeper essence?
‘Why,’ you may say, ‘I’ve always perceived these dark emotions as the barrier to my arising, not any portal to my ongoing awakening.’
I so get that. I too lived in that domain most of my life. What I want to offer you and offer you deeply is a ‘what if?’ question to feel and see where it takes you.
‘What if what you’ve related to as your negative emotions are actually the portal to more and more of your authentic-self arising to lead and flow in life?’
This what-if question (and its quest) could go on and on, worded in so many ways, but you get and feel the tone of it. I know you do…I can feel you do, or these words wouldn’t be holding you right now.
Wow, if this question is pointing you where I think it is, then there is no such thing as a negative (negating) emotion. There is only invitation into what is, to more of the all that you are, that is awaiting you. Why would any one of us be okay with leaving a part of us behind!?
Of course, I so get and feel the resistance we’ve all worked so hard at to keep our emotional worlds from infecting our self image togetherness. We, men more so, but women too, have relegated the emotional body to the insubstantial, to the meaningless, to the powerless, when in actuality, it is the essence of what we are. And we don’t get to embrace our essence any other way, but by going inward to all that we are, getting to know and feel who stands at the door of our hearts that we previously feared, but now open out to in genuine curiosity and love.
Now we finally cease demanding that some one else takes care of us in the multitude of ways we can do just that bass in a medicative relationship to all of life, and we begin instead taking care of ourselves in an ever deepening way beyond what we’ve ever known or imagined.
In SoulFullHeart, we take seriously each arising part of us and get to know and feel them intimately without judgment toward their charge and strategies, but instead open out to feeling why they are the way they are, and why they feel what they do, with all the time and process needed, with tears of gratitude for all they held in our absence.
My truth is that only as this kind of rigorous self-differentiation process, recognizing the emotional body, grounded in our everyday life and relationships unfolds for us, can we genuinely trust that our draw to spiritual practices are not simply another drug of medication to numb and keep unfelt emotional pain at bay.
If we have not embraced the emotional body, our seeking of Ascension or ‘raising our frequency’ becomes very suspect as simply a way to transcend our essence as a human being.
That may work for a part of you, but is it enough for you?
How much richer and fuller could your Ascension awakening be if no part of you gets left behind, allowing all of your energy in motion to fully flow into the infinite magic and wonder of life?
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, retreats, writings, and more.