healing – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

A Message of Courage & Support for Lion’s Gate 8/8

Published on August 6, 2025 by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒐𝒏’𝒔 𝑮𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌 ✨🦁

Connecting in with my Lyran guide, Ineerah, I feel (as I do every year at this time) her love, her compassion, and her profound power that is so effortless to embody.

She didn’t get there by happenstance. Her power is from her own journey of Ascension. I call her a ‘guide’ and yet she’s so much more than that.

She’s an aspect of my soul. And as such, she brings her wisdom and lived-in experience to me, inspiring me to continue to trust and move forward, for she herself has been through many of the same lessons.

Whenever I connect with her, her warmth is unmistakable. She knows me and I know her. She is definitely an influence on my love of cats and all things lion-like, and she’s also a heart to land in for context around this human experience.

I feel her offering,

“Stand in your present moment, feel what’s past, feel into what lies ahead. The portal is open, it’s lit up by your heart, the very same which yearns and aches and holds desire. Your courage is being lit up like a beacon from within…

If what lies behind you now looks like a debris field, know that we, your galactic family, are here to help you gather the dust. We will help you sort what is worth holding in your hands and keeping in your pockets as you move forward.

If what lies ahead of you seems unclear, know that we are here to support your spine, your brave heart, to walk through the portal of the unknown. Know that goodness lies ahead, for it always has, even during those darker times you’ve faced.

No soul comes to this (or any) planet without support. You are never alone. We are One, now and always.” 💙

To know fully that we aren’t alone… to really let THAT in, is an ongoing journey. And it’s so meaningful. There is really no wrong turn, no mistake, for it all leads back to your own Ascension journey, led by your soul and experienced by your heart.

May this message and any other that comes to you, land with the love it’s meant to. ♥️✨

Love,

Kasha & Ineerah 🦁🧘🏼‍♀️

For a donation of any amount, I can make you a portrait such as this one! Even after Lion’s Gate has passed, it can be a profound way to bring through the energy of beloved guides/soul aspects, animal totems and companions, or any other being you’d like to feel more connected to.

***

Kasha Rosa is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, Divine Self Embodiment Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.divineselfembodiment.com for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Freeing UP & Sharing Your Truth Through Self Validation, Permission & Play – Holy Week Divine Union Transmissions W/Yeshua & Magdalene

Published on April 15, 2025 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael and Jelelle Awen

This writing continues on from the first post in this Holy Week transmissions about Cleansing Your Temple: Body, Mind & Heart

Yeshua offers:

“Thank you, Raphael for asking my truth about speaking your truth. You are all clearly able to receive my frequency because we are all attuned to, and sourced in, at source level, the same highest frequency.

As you attune more and more to that frequency, by your choices and your soul’s evolution, expressing in your life, you will feel this, you will know this, and you will confirm this more and more.

This is where it gets fun. This is where so much tension gets answered.

You get to be you. You don’t need to conform to any other pattern unless you want to, unless it’s fun.

I’m toying with this word ‘fun’ today, because it gets at the seriousness, tediousness and boredom overlay that I know you, Raphael, have journeyed through and continue to find your way out the other side.

Let’s have some fun, okay? You did religion long enough. So did I. You did spirituality boredom long enough, so did I. Let’s return to play.

…Yes, my take on the waveform of speaking your truth as I did in that life spoken of in the texts of old…

Let’s go there in heart and mind, soul and body now as One. Let’s feel this truth together with all of our capacities in alignment, tuning into the higher heart and mind—to Love itself…

Your truth, my truth and even the Divine’s truth is in change, growth and evolution. If God or Source knew all truth, there’d be no reason for it to exist. IT exists to know more while knowing it can never come to know ALL.

If you subscribe to a God who has the final word on all truth, it’s a clear sign you are still afraid of your own truth.

This is because admitting your truth to yourself and in turn to your world around you changes everything. You will walk through fires of separation. The sword of your truth will cut and pierce.

You will suffer loss. It will hurt. That wound however is the portal opening to so much more.

It begins by making your truth known. But becoming an angry advocate and parking there is no longer where I’m at. It was a necessary phase, one that I entered for a time and needed to go through in order to go on to my next discoveries and courageous choices about my truth.

Remaining in contention with opposers is another evidence of the fear of your truth.

I offer you this personally, Raphael and to all those souls taking this in now who resonate.

You have left so much behind by the simple act of making your truth known and allowing the landscape to reconfigure. Naturally you carry these losses as a trauma fear of more loss. Even in the refined life you live now, you are not excused from feeling and negotiating this fear. Gain and loss are part of this frequency reality. Becoming higher frequency doesn’t exempt you, me, or anyone from that.

Living out this negotiation however, is like the most grounded and empowering and alive proposition.

If you will truly do you, without apology, yet with tenderness of heart and soul, with care for yourself and the other…at times with a ferocity, never with intent to destroy, and at other times with the gentleness of a kitten…all only to rearrange, realign, then you will continue to unfold in this magic.

Every breath, every thought, every movement and exchange of energy gets to BE you.

Admitting that you see through a personal lens and an ever changing lens at that, puts you in your God class. The God class of never-ending learning, feeling, experiencing, exponentially growing.

One who won’t admit that they have a personal lens has a longer way to go at remembering who and what they are and are still serving the forgetting. But even this forgetting is all sacred and part of the Divine’s own evolution.

I had to, over and over again, come to forgive myself and receive not only the Divine’s forgiveness but its appreciation for my entire awakening journey. All the time and even lifetimes spent in lesser things and places are equally treasured by the Divine.

No place was this more attuned and precious to me than in my relationship with Mary Magdalene. We each danced, both in step and out of step, with our own truth. Yet, we kept and keep finding our way. Without her, I still can’t begin to see where I could be where I am now.

I honour you and all souls for your willingness to be in all of this. I feel for you all in the sorting of all the reactions, the forwards and backwards, the triumphs and the recoils.

Your truth will take you from one place to another. New territories will continue to emerge. Don’t seek a final resting place. Instead, let your resting place be in the flow and in the change.

You are in my class, and I am in your class. We are in the God class together.”

Love,

Yeshua with Raphael

Mary Magdalene offers:

“I feel dressed today, beloveds, and more ready to share with you from my fuller self. Through the cleansing of the healing waters and allowing the fears of the vulnerable and scared part of me in our first meeting to come through, I show up now not in armour yet in a healthy sense of self affirmation earned from a deep reconciliation within.

I have settled in quickly to my connection with you, Jelelle, as we have cultivated it for many years now…when I first showed my face through yours in the early days of your soul’s remembrance awakening to the Feminine Christ within you. At the time, you were in a False God group led by a mostly shadow-based teacher, who also saw and validated your deep connection and love of the Divine. In doing so, he timestamped your ability to be under his controlling and often abusive authority system for very long. My face came through yours and also my energies catalyzed your need to tell your truth, even as it eventually cost you your relationship with him, your livelihood as a facilitator of his work, and your soul family community at the time who all rejected you.

I fuelled your ‘No!” and your choice to leave this teacher as you responded to the first blooms of new love with your beloved Raphael in a true Divine Union frequency of equality instead.

Sharing our truth that comes from deep within, especially as women, has often come with a cost. In my primary lifetime for which you know of me, it would have cost me my life to be at my beloved Yeshua’s side in my full expression of truth with him. And I wasn’t meant to die in that way, yet to continue to hold the seeds of our soul family lineage and ascension codes on, even as threat of persecution followed us always in that life.

From the shadows of our bridal chamber and with the few beloveds in our Magdalene family that we could truly trust, I was able to unfold all of my feminine gifts, bridging heaven to earth and infusing Yeshua with the Creatrix codes of death and rebirth. This helped give him the courage to face his body’s ‘death’ and trust his spirit’s resurrection on the other side.

And, to the ‘public’, I became the whore seeking redemption from him for so long. The truth of my equal status with Yeshua began to emerge, to be unearthed, when the collective finally became more ready for it. The truth of how he held me as much a teacher of his as he did student as he did beloved. The apostle of the apostles, as I truly considered myself even though very few could honor me as such.

And the truth emerging still of my deep Divine union with Yeshua, the sacred sexuality grounds that we explored, the children we had together eventually, the live we shared after the resurrection with him in a lighter form of body.

Thank you for letting me come through all those years ago, Jelelle, and many since then, allowing me to be a bridge to your Magdalene sister aspect from that life and feel her grief and pain so deeply. Thank you for sharing my message and my truth now out to this public forum that is so far reaching, forming a truly world wide web. I am still getting used to having such a vast pulpit and receptive audience now for those who feel called to share my energies and messages…..when I have, as all Divine Feminine energies, been waiting for so long and just now starting to wake up and be welcomed.

And I offer to you all who hear me now…..the truth that rises from within you is not rebellion—it is resurrection. Each time you speak what is real, you roll away the stone.

Honor your wisdoms that come from your precious life and soul’s experience and direct communion with the Divine as sacred and valid. Seek not permission from others, yet feel freed up within your own sense of self worth and self love to play, to create, to share, to envision, and to advocate.

When you speak from that place of deep bubbling well of Divine Essence within, you might be questioned, doubted, and misunderstood. Yet, I am here to assist you in remembering your soul’s truth as held in the heart of Divine Mother. I am here to create safety for the parts of you who feel protective; to forgive the parts who judge as they have been judged, and to inspire your Divine inspiration to flow.

You are already worthy. You are already chosen. Your truth IS the authority.

Let me walk beside you today, let me come through you as you speak what’s real for you, not for validation, but for remembrance.

I leave you now with this blessing:

Beloved soul,

May your voice remember its origin in Love.

May the tremble in your truth be held as holy.

May every word you speak from your depths

be met by angels in flesh who echo,

“Yes, this is the way.”

Until tomorrow, with all of our love,

Mary Magdalene w/Jelelle

Read all of our written transmissions here on this blog and our Divine Self embodiment website blog and the spoken versions of this transmissions on videos here on our Divine Self Embodiment You Tube Channel. More info here to join us for a live Easter Divine Union Codes Transmission w/Yeshua and Mary Magdalene on April Sunday 20th over zoom with Raphael and Jelelle Awen and to receive the replay.

New Timelines Coming In As The Old Ones Collapse

Published on July 17, 2024April 15, 2025 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

These catalytic, high energies leading up to Lion’s Gate 8/8 are moving us through so many places inside and out at such a quicker pace than we have ever known or felt before. Timelines and realities are collapsing AS the new is coming into manifestation. This overlapping is happening more and more with what is collapsing not even consciously known sometimes before it starts to shift and change.

Perhaps just as you are feeling there is something to let go of here, you are beginning to feel the rumbles, you are preparing to mourn……then, the new timeline is already coming in and starting to manifest in your life.

There used to be more gap in this process of death and rebirth, it seems…more ‘time’ for the process of it all.

Now, this gap is seeming to be greatly narrowed where in some cases just as you realize that you need to change something, the new is coming in to take its place. Just as you are feeling a need to shift and change something, the opportunities and possibilities are coming in through synchs and connections leading to quicker implementation of choice points. I am seeing and feeling this happen in my own life and in the lives of others in our Divine Self Embodiment community.

The inner negotiation around all this becomes so important. To bridge all this change (even as it is into the good, for your good, and for your growth) with the parts of you that (of course!) are feeling resistant, afraid, tense, and anxious about the transition. The Inner Protector especially is ‘charged’ with making sure you don’t experience harm and to warn you of any ‘threats’ coming. The new can feel like a threat to the protective part of you, even if YOU deeply want it.

You as a Divine Self showing up to negotiate with your Inner Protector can allow for more fluid of a transition and processing of the previously harmful experiences that occurred in the past. The Protector can then rest more and allow the new to come in at a rate and pace that YOU want and then you able to let in the goodness that is coming to you in a deeper way too. The Protector is so often guarding younger parts such as the Inner Teenager from future harm, hurt or disappointment so they need to feel that you are connecting with and holding that part of you. More about the Inner Protector and a guided meditation to connect with this aspect of yourself here: https://tinyurl.com/mr3bjv6c

The new timeline can bring up previous trauma experiences stored at the cellular level and in parts of you, to BE with as the water of love that washes out the ‘oil’ of what has been stored in your emotional body. As the cells upgrade to crystalline they release the toxicities and lower frequencies absorbed through 3D experience and in the Metasoul field too. This can be a lot of stored toxicity and it doesn’t seem to make much difference how physically healthy your body is related to how much has to come up…..although being physically vital can help.

As you move into the new from the old at a more rapid pace (as what seems to be happening right now), your cells can vibrate faster and it’s like a wet towel that you whip around in a circle…….the faster you go in your circular motion, the more water flings off. The more love in the form of new coming into your world and at a faster rate, the more is released that needs to be.

The Divine is offering SO MUCH trust and support in our capacity to handle this accelerated rate of death and rebirth and this increased cycle of cellular release of toxicity. As so many of us are being fast-tracked right now in this ascension process to lead the way, we can lean into the Divine to surrender the outcomes and preconceived ideas parts of us might have of what the new might look like, even as we hold our desires and wants with tenderness and care!

Leaning into the Divine in whatever forms work for you can bring so much ease and grace and trust in the overall process and the increasingly rate and pace of it. Trusting the feeling how, indeed, ‘we are never given more than we can handle (even of the good!)’ and that it is all held with much love!

love,

Jelelle Awen

Join Raphael and I for an emotional body trauma clearing & upgrade lovestream with sharings, sound healing and meditation live on FB and YouTube as part of our Lion’s Gate series today 7/17 at 6pm WET/UK – 1pm EDT. More info at https://www.facebook.com/events/489899233650093

1:1 Divine Self Embodiment sessions available with me or another Facilitator to digest, connect, to collapse and emerging timelines in your life! More info here: divineselfembodiment.com/sessions

Accepting What You Have Already Manifested In Order To Manifest True Soul Desires

Published on June 7, 2024 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

The hard part of ‘becoming a manifester’ isn’t the obtaining of some magical alchemical highly-hidden esoteric ability.

It’s something much more mundane.

It’s the self responsibility to see and admit that you already are this manifester, just maybe not of the kinds of realities a part of you was hoping to manifest.

You already fully are the creator. You don’t need to work on that to get it going.

What you can work on is the willingness to assume response-ability for what’s been created already.

What are the various parts of me creating in my life as powerful manifestations?

Why? When? How? With whom?

Make a full-on quest of these questions.

Add in a bunch of love from your Divine Self as you explore these parts of you. Honour all that has been created for how it has brought you to this present moment with both its sorrows and joys.

These parts of you and soul aspects hold your present manifestation power and creativity. If you bridge to them with your opening and curious heart, you can get them on board with creating entirely new realities that never existed before.

Now, the courage you gained in your quest becomes called on in order to adapt to the challenges of the new super abundant reality. Higher timelines are not without challenge, and this is why the universe needed you to start right from where you were without skipping any grades.

I’d love to help you with this process. Check into sessions together at the link below with myself and let’s let the quest reignite.

Raphael Awen

divineselfembodiment.com/sessions

The pic above was from 6 years ago of Jelelle and I. Just yesterday, as Jelelle stepped out of the house to join me in the back yard for some sun and barefoot grounding, I was again struck by how I get to be in this reality with her. She is without a doubt the most major manifestation that I was surprised by and still am.

I want to find others, soul family others, who are willing to be in and to bear the calling of loves many manifold manifestations.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of Divine Self Embodiment. Visit divineselfembodiment.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Reconciling Our Needs, Appetites & Desires As A Key To Our Growth

Published on June 7, 2024 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

It feels so apparent to me that our appetites, needs and desires are the key factor in our growth, learning, evolution as well as our fulfillment.

But the hard part is that it is these same appetites, needs and desires are very intertwined with our pain, our suffering and our addictions.

It may well be that were it not for appetites, needs and desires, there wouldn’t be any suffering. That seems to be the conclusion of many spiritualities. Religions as well offer various ways of dealing with this dilemma and dichotomy.

I’ve been feeling this heightened in myself this past year, heightened more in recent months and weeks dealing with changing body tolerances to favored foods. A lot of life change brings on holding onto familiar comforts for a time and stretching the tension between what fulfills in the moment and what truly rewards.

I was dealing with heightened indigestion, loss of sleep due to frequent urination and came to that point of a deeper desperation. I chose to fast for the needed reset.

It wasn’t a mandated forced self discipline way of going about it. That ability of disciplining myself to do anything is one of the things that has changed for me too, to where what I deepest desire, seems only possible to move towards if it is by desire and surrender. It has been a scary thing to lose, this ability to marshall change by willpower alone.

I do feel all of this as an upgrade, but definitely finding on a deeper level how the only real way that I can navigate any upgrade is to feel it all as I go.

After 3 days of fasting and feeling everything along the way, yesterday, while out for a walk in my familiar village, walking a section without people, I spoke aloud my desires, yearnings and the fears associated with losing the opened-out edge that I feel while fasting. Will desire and appetite just return to their old groove and I’m left with more despair for being almost worse off? I felt the part of me very tenderly who holds that question. I deeply honored the tenderness and transparency of the question. I reflected back to this part of me how awesome it is for us to feel this tension together instead of allowing the unanswered tension play out in our navigation of our appetites and desires.

I’m returning to some fruit smoothie this morning, allowing my strength to return to show up for what’s next.

This is a big piece that Jelelle and I feel called to live and share, this ongoing transition to living on light. Many people have made the transition to where their bodies are sustained without eating physical food, without any loss of the quality of their health.

Many too who reached that place have also found that though they could get their body in the groove, they hadn’t felt all there was to feel along the transition and chose to return to eating in order to fill in the gaps of their transition.

It is light that we all live on. We just differ in how we source that light. That’s the journey and it’s all about our relationship to our desires, appetites and our current fulfillments. That makes for such a deep common denominator amongst us while also making for so much diversity.

To know that light itself without the need for physical food can sustain the body points to the reality that that same light is all we need for all of our needs. We ‘earn’ money as part of journey to realizing that all worth and value is freely available and attainable for all of our needs. Then deeper in the journey we realize that we are so humbly entitled to full sustenance by our birthright in a super abundant universe.

There’s still some ‘rules’ that seem to govern this super abundant universe to where we are in a symbiosis of giving and receiving, but that is a higher frequency than ‘earning’.

What if what you do to earn money could be transformed into giving more of you to love and to life while you earn that money?

Love to every part of us and to each other for holding these tensions of our journey in being born into need desire and our appetites.

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of Divine Self Embodiment. Visit divineselfembodiment.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Unleashing Your Sorrow To Attain Your Joy

Published on May 22, 2024 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

You can’t really uncap your true joy without uncapping your sadness or sorrow.

Your deep joy essence is part of your emotional body, your emotional being. But so are feelings of sadness and sorrow that parts of us are often resistant to feeling, that have been compartmentalized for safe keeping.

The problem is though that there is no ‘safe keeping’ for unwanted feelings indefinitely. The part of you who feels those feelings wants to be felt, connected with and known.

As you become more willing to explore these so called ‘negative emotions’ (which are so tired of being ‘negated’), you also open up your native deep, rich and profound joy channels.

As we are journeying here as souls in a remembrance journey of yearning to experience more of our divine soul essence being embodied, it means that sadness, sorrow and missing will need to be an equal part of the propulsion system on that journey, right up there with the true joys of homecoming. You can’t be getting glimpses of a paradise lost and a paradise regained without feelings of deep missing.

All of it wants to be allowed in the moment, in the now. I have found this reconciliation of my sorrow to be an ongoing challenge to any parts of me still holding onto conditioning that I should somehow be beyond sorrow. Entering that friction inside always opens me up to new joys.

The good news is that these sorrows or sadnesses won’t actually swallow you whole, contrary to how parts of you have positioned their resistance to opening up to your sorrow. Your divine self always offers a rate and pace that you can bear, along with the answers of deep joy right alongside of it all.

The courage this requires however is truly significant because our Inner Gatekeepers and Inner Protectors really don’t know how much gas there is in your tank to complete this journey. Nor do they know how deep or arduous the journey will be.

This can only be consciously and directly negotiated with these aspects of yourself which becomes the assurance of the possibility of this journey as well as the assurance of the outcome.

I find it so hugely rewarding to open my heart to others pain in service and dedicated 1:1 session space with individuals who are ready for these kinds of inward journeys. The courage they find, the desire and readiness they demonstrate fuels my own journey. Info on me and the work I offer and the community around it all is here: divineselfembodiment.com/sessions

Being willing to bear these deeper joys and the deeper sorrows are all actually the divine’s own expression and experience through us and with us!

Love to you in all you are willing to feel and move through in your service to love, your service to yourself and your service to me!

Raphael

This gorgeous flower I found yesterday was growing just down the way in our village, flourishing even amongst the subdued weather and delayed spring this year.

The Professional, The Provisional & The Profusional

Published on April 17, 2024 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The PROFESSIONAL is one who declares openly that they have the know how and the care and the full time commitment to something. They promise expertise mixed with care and full commitment. They operate in a world of scarcity and competitive edge, hoping to gain our trust.

The PROVISONAL is the more relaxed one who declares that they’re doing their best. They’ll make do, hopefully. They operate in a world of “I’m in, at least until a replacement can be found.”

The PROFUSIONAL is one who is pouring forth love so abundant, it’s overwhelming. The care and the expertise that is flowing from them is both personal and transpersonal, connected to the source field of all knowledge and all discernment. They operate in a world connected to the superabundant source of all life. The results they produce can be more than you thought you were looking for. Their declaration of credentials is embedded deep in their being, before words are spoken. You only go to them when you’re ready for a deep shift and complete with other phases of growth and learning.

I like the profusional, personally. They’re the ones I want to be around. They’re the ones that nourish. They’re the ones I want to model after.

Yeshua was a profusional. When followers who were clearly both drawn and hesitant towards him said, “I’ll be right there, Yeshua, just as soon as I’m done looking after my dying parent,” Yeshua replied, “Let the dead bury the dead, you come follow me.” He read this person’s higher timeline, called out their ‘nobility’ that was in service of staying small, and offered it to them. He sorted out their draw to him, not allowing them to suffer in a half-in, half-out place.

That’s the confrontation of deep overwhelming love and possibility. It always includes a letting go of something to embrace a larger something. We all chose this world of choice. We’re already exercising this power of choice in every moment. It just wants to be turned now in its direction towards love, rather than from love.

Our choices are what regulate the amount of love we can take in and digest at any given time. There are valid reasons why we would need and want to slow things down, and this is where sacred choice comes in. Lack itself was created by love as a way for love to come to know itself, so there is no judgment on a necessary slower timeline. It could be said of everyone of us, that we are in a kindergarten relationship with love’s infinite potential. The veil is necessary.

Yeshua liked to push the boundaries, however, to explore beyond the safe and the known. He taught that the Kingdom of Heaven (the true ‘more’ that you seek) is likened to a man who happens upon a pearl of great price while walking through a field, who after beholding it, buries it in the field, then proceeds to go out and sell all that he has, so that he can return to purchase the field that contains this pearl.

We’ve all done this before. We’ve gone after something. Gave up other things to get that thing. Think about when you fell in love. Your ‘wanter’ will need to come back online, and be dusted off from its journey in the halls of the non-dual invalidation of the healthy ego. You’re going to need an ego to play in this game. You’re going to need to have needs, and be able to care for them, if you will ever be in the overflow of care and love for others in this profusion.

The cool part of all this is that in this higher heart motivation, the most truly ‘selfish’ motivation, is transmitted from the scarcity world of ‘my benefit at your cost’ to the world of ‘whatever is in my highest interest is in actual alignment of all others, because at root, there is only one of us.’ ‘Self’ is not only redeemed from the sinful picture of being separate from God, but celebrated and calibrated as the divine itself expressing in flesh. Your embodiment of all this is your divine reunion. It’s your ‘pearl of great price.’

It will ‘cost’ you, but it will be felt to be a pittance compared to the superabundance that you realize in yourself, and for the one-self of The All that we all are.

I lead and participate in a specific world of profusion. A specific soul family playground that requires preference. We all had to choose deeply and risk and give up other things to be a part of it. I’m inviting you to feel if what I lead is part of your pearl of great price.

There’s one thing you won’t have to give up to participate and that’s your sovereignty. You’re going to need to truly own that more than you thought you did actually. Only one in possession of their autonomy is able to surrender it into a setting while healthily retaining it. It’s the only safe way to go ‘all in’.

We’ve all seen the long played out unhealthy surrender of people’s autonomy onto pedestalized gurus who proved unworthy of our higher self projections onto them. We’re getting beyond that phase now in our collective consciousness.

What’s your ‘next’? If you were to gather up your investments, pool them into a fund, what, and who and where would you spend it on?

I encourage you to find that worthy place. Let yourself dream of it. Feel and love every voice inside of you that says it’s not possible. Know that their resistance is key and the portal to you transmuting your world to the new world. Take a next step in that direction. See how that step fuels the next. It makes you interesting, powerful and beautiful. It all looks so good on you!

Love,

Raphael

This pic was part of Jelelle and I’s visit this past week to the Templar Castle and the later Church overlay onto it in Tomar, Portugal.

When we took these pics, we were both stunned by the transmission of our leading edge with a message that says “despite your questions, yes, you really are this big!”

Join me for a free intro (30 min over zoom) and 1:1 sessions for men (and with Jelelle for women) for support in this divine self embodiment path in person (here in Central Portual) or over zoom with THREE types of sessions now available…..Divine healing, self healing, and embodiment healing sessions by donation of 55-100 euros sliding scale, truly based on neg. and what you can afford…soulfullheart.org/sessions

Your Unhappiness Is Key To Your Happiness

Published on April 7, 2024 by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

If you’re not unhappy, you’ll never come to know true happiness.

Twenty years ago, I had ten big desires brewing inside of me, that all felt so out of reach. Today, I’m actually living in the fulfillment of all ten.

In some ways, at 62 years old, I’m happier than I ever imagined I’d be and in some ways, I’m not.

If you’re curious and drawn to some real transparency, please allow me to explain, but only if you’re truly wanting to dare to own your own sacred journey, as well as your deeper desires.

If you’re here and reading this, I feel it’s safe to assume that you’re connected to a deep common denominator in each of us to grow and expand. That’s why I’m writing and reflecting on this, actually, to keep on growing.

A quick list of the 10 really big desires I had brewing back in 2004 were as follows:

To escape the world I had created in a profitable niche world in my 30 year long painting contracting business. It was too easy and felt like a trap in many ways.

I wanted to leave the city I had spent the last 40 years in, but that felt so far out of reach.

I wanted to get out of debt financially.

I wanted to express my soul purpose and live in a much deeper sense of mission in my life, with more influence and connection with my world around me.

I wanted to be really intimately connected with a soul mate romantic bond inside of that mission.

I wanted to travel and live somewhat nomadically, and be in a much deeper connection with nature inside of that romance and soul purpose.

I wanted to get beyond a very limited sexual expression and repertoire which was all I’d ever known.

I wanted out of a 23 year marriage as well as my lifelong relationship with Christianity, both of which were reaching the end of their natural life cycle inside.

I wanted to learn how to live inside of the superabundance of the universe where I didn’t ‘work to earn a living’.

Each of these desires spoke to something really true of my soul. Looking back, it’s quite striking to feel how each one of these desires has been fulfilled when 20 years ago, each one only felt like a dream, where the entire self-help Tony Robbins like phase of my consciousness where ‘You can manifest the life of your dreams’ was no longer anything I had much steam for inside of me.

The dreams felt more and more taunting to me as I couldn’t see where and how I could move towards them. All I could feel was a sense of my life powering down in many ways, and my impulses to protect what I didn’t want to lose kept making me feel more trapped and more in despair of ever realizing these elusive dreams.

It’s an even stranger thing to realize that from the vantage point of 20 years ago, I’m both more fulfilled today than I’d ever imagined and I’m also not.

All of these desires were quite external to my internal world, which wasn’t nearly as in focus at the time. Many of the desires were strategic hopes of not having to enter my personal internal hells to find this imagined external heaven. What life and my soul gave me was a mission much deeper than the one I was superficially, externally, dreamily focused on, and that was to begin to truly feel and heal long avoided terrains inside of me.

Parts of me back then imagined in all those dreams, if I were somehow ever to make them more than dreams, if I actually realized them, that I’d be guaranteed to be outside of a world of deep challenge, of any experience of fears and insecurities, that I’d have life by the tail somehow, at least on my terms. I would be in expansive heart and soul fulfillment somehow. The dreams were like an imaginary world to cycle in, to escape into. In many ways, they felt so safely impossible, that parts of me didn’t actually worry about what it would be like to actually move my life from where I was then to where I wanted to be.

I didn’t really have a travel plan or a relocation plan because I didn’t see myself traversing that gap between my reality and my desires, until I began unavoidably falling into that gap.

I feel many men and women are right there now, falling into that gap, into that primordial void space. We are in deep cycles of death and rebirth, where not only individuals, but also entire cultures and ways of being in the world are reaching the end of their intended life cycles. We’ve received a sobering terminal illness diagnosis that feels quite unavoidable and convincing. Change is coming. Time to prepare, but how?

Where my unhappiness lives in me today is realizing this expectation or even demand that I’d be happier than I actually am was some kind of expectation of being saved or removed from life itself. My soul, and your soul never actually expected that life here in physical form would be free of deep challenges, or immune to unhappiness.

Your and my soul knew then and knows now that the propulsion system and digestive system of our growth always includes a ‘wanter’. No wants, no appetites, no unhappiness…; no real life.

Your and my present ‘skin in the game’ of carrying unfulfilled desires is what makes us interesting, useful and capable of deep joy, reverence and meaning. Without new desires showing up on the shores of your deepest fulfillments to date, you are withdrawn from life and love itself.

The biggest purpose at the core of the universe may be love itself wanting to come to know and feel itself, to unveil itself to itself. If that’s accurate, then you and I, as manifestations and expressions of that love itself, best gear up and ‘fear up’ (in a healthy way) of giving ourselves over to love’s cycle of despair, turning to yearning and then fulfillment and preparing to do it all over again. If love ever decides it has come to the end of its infinite learning and growth and to rest on its laurels, then we can be sure that heaven will be somehow beyond the risks of boredom and atrophy, that have and would surely plague and haunt us at this and previous phases of our consciousness.

I want more. You want more. This connects us like nothing else does. Your and my rewards and fulfillments can’t actually be kept to ourselves. My big piece of the pie doesn’t mean a smaller piece for you. If one of us figures it out, it’s actually figured out and plainly available for each of us. There’s no patent office to file your proprietary and personal claim on your fulfillment, or your ‘life hack’. This is because there is on a deeper level, only one of us in this illusory game of the ever appearing separate self.

Love needed the staging of the sovereign individual, the separate self, a birthing of its own image, likeness and stature, billions of times over, to prove its point that the whole show is a love show, including the deepest polarities and ‘evils’ and ‘devils’ we are faced with.

The despairs, the evils and the devils are all wanting nothing more than reconciliation with love. Every trauma and despair within you is a portal to the more that you are self-assigned here to seek.

The separation fears and traumas are all vital to learning and growth. The happinesses turning to more wanting needs to be factored in. You are this big of a being.

I want it all. I want it for me. I want it for you. I want it for love.

That’s my new desire and dream. I’m looking for more connection with more dreamers. Let’s get transparent with one another. What hasn’t worked? How can that inform what’s wanting to take form now?

What new ways of life and love want to express in this reunion side of the separation equation?

Are you willing to get honest and real? Because until you do, while you’re still part of the game, and love’s game and ever worthy, wherever you are, you’re just kind of boring and uninteresting to me. I’m not really drawn to you. On a higher level, I’m in awe of you, that you’re soul would take on such levels of disconnect and unfulfillment to transmute for love in time, but until this soul turn of reunion turns a corner in you, there’s just not a lot of any kind of a personally interesting game to play with you.

We both ever and only have equal worth and intrinsic value, but we’re just not on the same page. The game of separation and difference and polarity is still here, but only really to stage more reunions, and more learning.

I want to be a part of your despairs and your dreams, because when I’m allowed into that, I’m allowed into more of me, more of love itself, more of the divine’s sacred evolution.

Much love,

Raphael

For more on my journey from those 20 years ago, check out Jelelle and I’s book: ‘Under The Bloated Banyan – Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light To True Love’ You can read more about it here: soulfullheart.org/underthebloatedbanyan

I’m also posting some longer writings like this one on Medium.com if you’d like to connect with me there. This post can be found here: https://medium.com/…/if-youre-not-unhappy-you-ll-never…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

When Suffering Becomes The Comfort Zone For Parts Of You (Video)

Published on April 2, 2024April 2, 2024 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Sometimes the comfort zone is actually the ‘pain zone’.

Parts of you/soul aspects get used to suffering on some level, in the physical body (illness/disease/inflammation), or the emotional body (post traumatic, depression, anxiety, fear reactions) or the mental body (negative mind set, false belief systems, suffering/shame thought spirals) or the soul and energy field (karmic looping, ‘entity attacks’, ceilings in awakening, disconnection from soul purpose.) Or, in relationships (codependence, being/allowing abuse, flatness/deadness, etc.) Or in ALL of these in different phases and stages.

Pain/suffering is meant to be a temporary ‘warning sign’ and an invitation to use it as a portal of self discovery and healing WITH the Divine. It is not meant to be a ‘finally resting place’ or dimension or frequency for which we can live and thrive, although certainly the 3D Matrix makes it feel like that (which takes many distractions and drugs of all kinds and continuous toxicity to keep barely alive.)

And this suffering actually becomes safe and comfortable to these parts of you. It becomes ‘home’. The only thing they have ever known.

I imagine to the version of ‘you’ reading this right now that may seem strange or counter intuitive, yet I have seen/felt/witnessed this so many times in others and in my own parts, esp when we drop into the consciousness frequency ‘below’ the persona ego “I” voice as we do in sessions.

Parts of you may feel very, very deep down…at a core level…that they do not deserve love. That they are not worth love. That they are not EVER going to truly be free of pain and suffering. That they do not trust that love will ever NOT turn into pain and loss.

I would offer, in fact, that we ALL have parts that feel that way…until we connect with them consciously to feel what has been comfortable for them, the dark places they reside, the void places they retreat to, the medications they use to numb out their feelings (including spirituality).

And there they stay…..in suffering, in hell realms, in karmic suffering loops of unworthiness, shame and disconnect…… until, as our Divine Self (compassionate, non-judgemental, supported, hopeful), we invite them to come into our heart, come into the light, come into safety, come into starting to feel the SEEDS of goodness and love from within. Until we start to consciously negotiate with these stuck parts…there is just no way they can actually shift and move in a lasting and transmutative way.

They will resist. They will come up with excuses. They will go into victim mode/blame, looking on the outside for ’causes’ and for ‘cures’. The inertia to remain in stuckness, in suffering, in pain is SO deep and vast, as it is fuelled by collective consciousness and the Matrix programming/conditioning.

It can be tricky to feel and reframe the excuses into invitations to move into something new and hopeful, something beyond the fear. It can be challenging to track all the diversive strategies that can come up in the resistance to feeling, to healing, to ascending, to embodying your Divine self. To experiencing and receiving LOVE.

I am still surprised sometimes by the resistance that comes up in parts of people to receiving love, to seeing themselves as Love and to becoming love for parts of themselves. Yet, I also understand it and am compassionate about it, as I so felt the same resistance in parts of me for many years and soul aspects too (some of which I share about in my new book memoir with Raphael, Under The Bloated Banyan).

Yet, ultimately, to resist love is not natural and is what I’ve been offered by the Divine is the root cause of all suffering. When parts of you resist love, they are resisting THEIR very essence AS love.

That feels worth repeating:

Resistance to love is the root cause of ALL suffering.

In this brief video that I filmed coming out of Divine meditation space this morning, I offer more about this dynamic within and also a meditation bridge to Divine Mother’s heart lifeline to any parts of you in suffering and supports your Divine Self to be there for them. Inviting these parts of you to join you in Divine Mother’s higher dimensional Sacred Garden space with healing pools. It is posted above.

1:1 and couples sacred session space to feel and bridge to these parts in suffering and make a soul turn toward love are available with me and/or Raphael…more info at soulfullheart.org/sessions

Love,

New Book Release: Under The Bloated Banyan: Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light To True Love by Raphael & Jelelle Awen

Published on April 1, 2024 by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Today is the day our book baby is born! As we waited for final approval from amazon, we thought it might be on our 15th wedding anniversary on Thursday, and then on Good Friday, yet, it turned out to be Holy Saturday, the day in between Yeshua’s ‘crucifixion’ and resurrection….which feels perfect somehow!

And today is also perfect to release it as Raphael and I are having a sacred marriage vow renewal ceremony together with our beloveds…to name our intentions in deepening commitment to each other and to our commission (co-mission) of continuing to bring our Divine Self Embodiment consciousness offering to the Earth Plane/Gaia ascending for those soul family members who are resonant with it.

Our book called, Under The Bloated Banyan: Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light to True Love, is now my fifth self-published book and my first co-written with my beloved Raphael. This book has had quite a journey to being born in its current form! I first published it with just my writing/my side of the story in 2013, still feeling in some deeper trauma processing around what I share in it about the former cult-like spiritual group and teacher I/we were involved with (for me nearly five years and I was a facilitator of the work as well). It felt just too vulnerable at the time for parts of me while the group was still active and there was still so much controversy and energectic push back going on about speaking out against it from former friends/followers and my former teacher…so I ended up unpublishing it.

Then, I published my story again in 2018, feeling more settled inside with parts of me around the release of it, as the group had been collapsed for three years at that point after members FINALLY woke up to the abuses going on and fired the teacher/leader of it and collapsed the non-profit altogether. I had been able to process the completion with a couple of my former friends at that time, which seemed to help as well.

Yet, again, it didn’t feel quite right timing and easy inside to have my story (which is mostly from actual journals that I kept at the time) ‘out there’ so I retracted it again from public purchase. Both times I felt a sadness inside too as I had received feedback from people that sharing my story in such a vulnerable way touched them deeply and helped them in their own recovery from similar toxic, yet enlightening experiences with narcissistic groups/relationships.

So, then, about five months ago, Raphael and I were guided by Yeshua and Mary Magdalene to write the story of our sacred union journey over the last 18 years, including the time before we ‘officially’ came together while we were in the group. They offered that it would be a deep service to do this for others, the Christ-Magdalene lineage, and for ourselves/parts of us as well, to share it as a template for what is possible for those who have signed up for the Divine union marriage alchemical journey.

Raphael tuned into the parts of him (Marvin and Wayne) who had been through the several year journey shared about in this book, and wrote about leaving a long-term marriage and Christianity for which he received some pushback and his bravery in choosing his emotional healing and his soul awakening over duty and obligation. He also shares about holding the conscious memory of attraction to me and our Divine Union (as sometimes the masculine partner does) and he brought a few attractions to me before I was finally ready to respond to them (lots of emotional maturing to do on my side to be ready of it and him!).

Now, it feels time finally to share this story, which really hasn’t ever been just MY story I realize, which is why parts of me were uncomfortable to share it alone. Now, it includes Raphael’s parallel experiences in tandem with mine. It is so interesting to see how the choices and challenges we faced as individuals seem to constantly mirror each other, overlap and coincide, often entering and dissolving relationships with others at the same time…….until finally we are ready to choose a shared relationship and timeline together.

And, it is still stunning to feel, once we did, how our true and deep and Divinely guided/supported love dissolved ANYTHING false in our world right away. Within three weeks of our first date. We were accused by our former teachers of ‘faking a sacred union’ and of ‘going too fast’, ‘being codependent’…all of which we probably were in the beginning. Still, it was easy in another way to say ‘yes’ to being together and ‘no more’ to the ultimatum thrust on us of breaking up or staying in the group, which we were increasingly feeling had unnamed abuses and toxicity going on.

It is still shocking to parts of me, literally takes my breath away, to feel how quickly and completely our previous worlds (including my home geography eventually!) fell apart and away once we came together. This is often a signature of a Divine Union counterpart bond and also is the good will and genuine care/love/support for each other (absence of abuse, inability to lie to each other) that has been there between us from the very beginnings of our friendship turned romance. This kind of union calls you to be completely devoted to it, inside and out, as you feel how it is your means of expressing service and your soul purpose in the world.

I so hope you enjoy this first chapter/book of our sacred union journey, which we are now feeling to continue into what feels like two more books offered over the next three years. A sacred union trilogy capturing the phases, the ups and downs, the letting ins and letting gos, of what has truly been a bliss mess ride, yet always feeling held in a bubble of Divine love protection and marked absence of traumatic experiences (after the initial ones!)

Under The Bloated Banyan is a title that came through many years ago and represents the ‘bloat’ of these false light/false God groups and offerings that are offered under the banyan tree (the sacred tree where Buddha found his enlightenment.) So many of which offer deep teachings/gifts in their own ways and esp. in the beginning honeymoon stages, and yet are inevitability hijacked by the leader’s unfelt shadow motivations/aspects and the Matrix agenda/karmic field. These false light offerings/teachers are being exposed, disclosed and collapsing more and more as we outgrow the need for them…esp when we dedicate ourselves to healing our birth family/generational/incarnational trauma and engage in integrative shadow work with parts/aspects of ourselves.

Although, truly, this is not a story about ‘surviving a cult experience’…yet, really, it is and has always been, a love story. A love story about two counterparts reuniting again. A love story about discovering our deep devotional love for and with the Divine beloved. A love story about truly coming to love all parts of ourselves and soul aspects too.

You can purchase this book as a PDF on our shop (including instructions on how to read it on your kindle app/devices), or as in e-book and print editions through amazon. We would love to invite you to write a review if you feel moved and guided to after reading and also to share your thoughts, feelings, reactions, resonances with us here, via PM on Facebook, or email at soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Links to purchase and excerpt to read from the first chapter are here at soulfullheart.org/https://www.soulfullheart.org/underthebloatedbanyan

Amazon link (it is available in all major Amazon markets/countries so go to your amazon country link to purchase): https://tinyurl.com/3xdyaerw

And special thanks to Kasha Rokshana, who helped edit this book and designed the beautiful cover image for it. She has been a true champion and advocate for sharing this story (including the two previous versions!) and it feels like it wouldn’t be happening now without her love and passion for it to be out in the world!

Thank you for taking it into your heart and soul,

Love,

Jelelle Awen

And Raphael’s writing on this release:

“I am one proud papa to have this heart and soul baby born in the world!

Our story begins in a group that we were eventually ‘kicked out of’, but in truth, it was life, love and the divine itself that ‘kicked’ us out.

What we left with, largely unbeknownst to us at the time, was a Christ child, in embryonic form gestating in our bond. We took it from the light side of the egregore/usness of the beloved group we were a part of. It was like a baton that was passed on to us. We also took a great wound with us that would challenge us and lay our hearts bare, and eventually reveal a much deeper calling.

This story is a great revealing for me of a much deeper heart and soul calling to own and inhabit my own calling. I was allowed to feel and experience so much during these four years covered in this book, that I believe will be part of a key awakening for the men and women who resonate, who share this same calling, who share this same soul family lineage.

I truly hope my story and our story stirs deep within you, a recognition of the specialness and uniqueness of your own sacred calling that begins right from where you are right now. It couldn’t be more divinely appointed. That’s how I feel your and my life story.

It would touch me deeply not only to have you read it, but to hear how it landed and what it stirred for you, even better if you could share it publicly, (even anonymously if it’s understandably too much of a coming out for parts of you).

What a gift it is that this baby was born on this day as Jelelle and I had also planned this day many weeks ago as a day to gather with our current closest beloveds for a wedding vow renewal ceremony!

Thank you, Jelelle for your intense focus these past weeks to handle all the rigours of self publishing! Thank you most of all for being with me into where we go now!

May this story touch you like no other!

Love,

Raphael

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