Millennial Digest: Self Image

by Kalayna Colibri & Raianna Shai

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator, Kalayna Colibri, and SoulFullHeart Facilitant and ‘Social Media Maven’, Raianna Shai, share about their experiences with construction and also ongoing healing of their self-image as Millennials – a process that has been very vulnerable to feel and live into. They chose to do this video with minimal makeup, a simple wardrobe, and a fuller frame of their bodies as they give you a more visceral sense of what their processes have been like.

Different parts of you attach to the ideals of what it means to be ‘attractive’ or a ‘good person/sister/friend/employee/etc’. Feeling these parts is a process of feeling the many layers of reactions to your body, your relationships, your career or job, etc that these parts have had, very often in an intensely self-punishing way that lowers your frequency significantly. It often takes a lot of loving mirrors held up by people who have worked these pieces inside of themselves and their own parts in order to truly see how this has played out inside of you. There are many reasons why Millennials in particular may seem to be attached to constructing a self-image that can compromise their physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health. However, this process of feeling what conditioning and self-led practices or habits have led you to become the face that you present to the world around you is a deep one for people of any age!

As Ascension ramps up and intensifies, we are all being challenged to face and feel these parts that have associated ideals of physical and emotional attractiveness with real love. Our relationships all reflect these parts and these frequencies to us as do our jobs/careers, even our choice of spiritual practice. There is an invitation to become more real, to ourselves and to each other, and to realize that what truly makes us beautiful IS our inner ‘mess’ that has so much to tell us as we step deeper into the process of loving it UP.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

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The Making Of A New Year Is Up To You


“But what is ascension but growth, and what is growth but a series of deaths and rebirths.”

Our relationship to time is a fickle thing looking at it through a different lens. We create an ‘other’ out of a year and tell it what we thought of it as it walks out of the door of the home we built together 365 days ago. Sometimes, I feel 2017 getting a collective kick in the ass and I feel for it. I feel for every year that gets wrapped up in expectation and then withers into discontent by March. (Yeah, that bully March. Just doesn’t know when it has something good.)

So much projection onto our time capsules. That which we have created to give us direction and a viewfinder for measurement. I have no ill will toward 2017. It was a noble servant of Love as it brought up so much of our collective shadow, and maybe that is what some of the reactions may be about. We are responding to what is unconsciously percolating on the inside. A disclosure of our enclosure.

We have our own personal relationship to 2017, each that was a story created by our individual and collective consciousnesses. There were some bumps in the road for me emotionally that were all perfectly laid for this new lift into leadership, romantic relationship, and inner ambassadorship. A part of me has looked back at moments with some questioning and remorse, but in hindsight it couldn’t have been any other way as I now find myself in a beautiful vantage point.

Each new year gets to be as we choose it to be, even as those choices create tension, reaction, and conflict. It is all a part of the ascension process. But what is ascension but growth, and what is growth but a series of deaths and rebirths. It is also reunion. A re-unit-ing of all our suppressed and unfelt parts of us still in trauma or dischord as well as our soul aspects spread across time and space dimensions. The balm of this growth and the connective tissue of this reunion is Love.

Love is the guiding light of all our choices even when they don’t feel like love to a part of us. There is a way in which we have care-taken parts of us and others in the name of Love. When we get to the core of what we are truly feeling in our emotional body and compare it to where we want and need to be, the sacred path reveals itself. Holding space for those choices is what we are here to offer.

2018 feels like an epic year personally and collectively. How we relate to it is truly up to us in all the ups and downs it may bring, which is what we subscribed to even before it has hung up its clothes on its side of our closet. In this moment you can choose the INtention, breathe in the desire that is baking in the oven, and then let go of what actually comes out of the oven one year from now, “cuz it ain’t gonna be what you thought it might be”. None of us do.

What we can choose is to feel all of the edges of what we truly want and the fears that come up in response. We can walk through these together and create a New Earth Consciousness and authentic heart and soul resonance with transparency and vulnerability as the fuel of this merkabah we call SoulFullHeart.  Many heartfelt wishes to you in this arising New You Year.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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Shame Spiral: A Part’s Journey


*Note: The following was written by a part of me named Simon. This part of me has been my self-image, my presentation and interface with the world.

 Since I can remember, I have always had a voice in my head that said I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t “man” enough, wasn’t creative enough, the list goes on. Always comparing myself to that which I felt I lacked. “I will never be as confident as THAT person. I could never be as creative as them. Who am I kidding?” The irony I am learning is that those qualities I felt I lacked, are the very ones I might possess in spades. I would get frustrated with myself and then cap my passion sending me into a shame spiral. A flat-lined version of myself.

 The well-intended responses from friends and family never seemed to reach me, either because I just wouldn’t let them in, or they only scratched a surface. I needed someone who had been there. Someone who knew the texture and geography of the feeling space so as to guide me through the pain and not just mask it over. This has been Jillian and Wayne. They have given me space to express my spiral, to see it differently, and to feel through it rather than go around it. It is difficult for others to really go to the place I need to go, because they are afraid of what I might do, or afraid of their own spiral and reluctance to go there. Only when someone has been there and healed it healthfully can you be felt emphatically.

 A song that has come up that I resonate with is Alanis Morisette’s Spiral. The lyrics reflect this mechanism inside that has existed my whole life and maybe other lives. I remember early on in my process I heard this song and I wept as it struck a heart cord. I have come back a few times to this space and wondered why I was feeling this again. Hadn’t I healed this already? I am realizing healing has its own spiral. Each time I heal it moves, but may come back again for whatever purpose to heal again, and again, and again. I have learned that if I do not reach out for help, I get stuck in a suffering loop. Much different than a spiral. In the loop, you feel stuck. Unmoved. Anchored in a pile of shit. I don’t like that feeling. I need to stop the spiral and the only way to do that is to out it when I feel it. I need to out when I have been hurt or when I am angry or when I don’t feel good enough.

 To some that may be a “no brainer”. But for me, it has been a challenge for my own reasons. My life filled with experiences that felt like they cemented that voice with steel barbs. I know that being public with those experiences would be a vulnerable act but I am not there yet. Just doing this is vulnerable enough. I start with today and feel what I am feeling, and then move on to tomorrow and repeat. That is my process. The beginning of my journey. I want to say that if you too feel anchored in a pile of shit and are sinking in it, ask for help. Talk to someone that you feel safe to talk to. Contact Jillian and Wayne and SoulFullHeart. Do Something. Don’t let it stay there. It does you no goddamned good.

 I wanted to leave with the video and lyrics to Alanis’ song and hope they move you as they do me:


I could be daydreaming but for a moment
And somehow they’re creeping back in
I could be sleeping awakened the torrent
Somehow I get caught in their grips again

And here I am in my shame spiral
I’m sucked in to it again
And I reach out for your benevolent opinion
And you bring the light back in

Don’t leave me here with all these critical voices
Cause they do their best to bring me down
When I’m alone with all these negative voices
I will need your help to turn them down

I could be listening to a conversation
The story I’m not even in
These voices have their way when I am unguarded
Suddenly I step in quicksand again

Once again in my shame spiral
I am glad that you’ve weighed in

Don’t leave me here with all these critical voices
Cause they do their best to bring me down
When I’m alone with all these negative voices
I will need your help to turn them down

All these judgements, so incisive
Voices left to their devices
This moments narratee is a desperate plea
For slack to be cut to me
Cut to me

Don’t leave me here with all these critical voices
Cause they do their best to bring me down
When I’m alone with all these negative voices
I will need your help to turn them down

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