Loving UP Your Body-Vessel

by Kalayna Solais

It has become so important to love the body beyond any measurements, beyond any sense of “not good enough”, beyond any shame once held by parts of you about looking this way instead of that way.

For years parts of me have judged and battled with my body and body image. They have especially struggled with accepting my legs, which have always been bigger, and my tendency to yo-yo a bit in my weight.

Parts of me have judged themselves for eating emotionally, for continuing to make food mean ‘love’ somehow. They have struggled so much over the years with relating to food more so as survival and even something not as necessary as we are taught it is.

Even in this world of spirituality and Ascension consciousness, there is a tendency for parts of us to judge the body for not yet being ‘light body’ worthy or for going through the many changes and shifts it needs to go through as we continue to transition into crystalline forms.

The body reflects the emotional reality, always, and this manifests in so many different ways, giving us so much valuable information to be with and digest.

These judgements come often from an Inner Punisher part inside of you that is concerned about sticking out, about you inhabiting your leadership, about Ascension on all levels.

For more about the Inner Punisher, here is a video from Jelelle where she also leads a guided meditation to connect with this part of you:

They criticize and poke because it means love to them somehow. It helps them feel empowered, ironically, because in the judgements of self is a defense against judgements from others. A preemptive strike within that hurts you first before someone else can hurt you. Wow. It might sound convoluted but if you really feel this one, it’s very true, and often unaddressed or felt through with love and self-compassion. The Inner Punisher does not respond well to more punishment… this energy can only transmute with love.

Here is a guided meditation co-created by Gabriel and I, narrated by Gabriel, that you could use as another tool to connect with this part of you:

This part is so ingrained in our 3D Self that it’s become natural to feel the punishment that becomes a white noise in our lives, always sort of there yet so naturalized we hardly notice how much it’s bringing our frequency down. This is so one of the major pieces that needs to shift into love in the 3D Self before this Self, this version of you, can really start to integrate and move into higher frequencies consistently.

I’m sharing this photo today because it hallmarks a new beginning for me and an outing too.

I no longer want to subscribe to the adage of needing to look a certain way and I don’t want parts of me to feel this way about themselves either.

I no longer want to hide how my body looks because it doesn’t comply with typical beauty standards.

I suspect my body will continue to go through more changes through my own personal Ascension process and to truly be IN it without feeling like I have to force it to be one way or another in order to be worthy of anyone’s love let alone my own, is my deepest intention in this moment.

Our bodies are part of our Ascension journey… to honour and love them UP, even as they are now, is so, so important.

Much love to you and YOUR beautiful vessel too! ❤


Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.


Millennial Digest: Self Image

by Kalayna Colibri & Raianna Shai

In this video, SoulFullHeart Teacher and Facilitator, Kalayna Colibri, and SoulFullHeart Facilitant and ‘Social Media Maven’, Raianna Shai, share about their experiences with construction and also ongoing healing of their self-image as Millennials – a process that has been very vulnerable to feel and live into. They chose to do this video with minimal makeup, a simple wardrobe, and a fuller frame of their bodies as they give you a more visceral sense of what their processes have been like.

Different parts of you attach to the ideals of what it means to be ‘attractive’ or a ‘good person/sister/friend/employee/etc’. Feeling these parts is a process of feeling the many layers of reactions to your body, your relationships, your career or job, etc that these parts have had, very often in an intensely self-punishing way that lowers your frequency significantly. It often takes a lot of loving mirrors held up by people who have worked these pieces inside of themselves and their own parts in order to truly see how this has played out inside of you. There are many reasons why Millennials in particular may seem to be attached to constructing a self-image that can compromise their physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health. However, this process of feeling what conditioning and self-led practices or habits have led you to become the face that you present to the world around you is a deep one for people of any age!

As Ascension ramps up and intensifies, we are all being challenged to face and feel these parts that have associated ideals of physical and emotional attractiveness with real love. Our relationships all reflect these parts and these frequencies to us as do our jobs/careers, even our choice of spiritual practice. There is an invitation to become more real, to ourselves and to each other, and to realize that what truly makes us beautiful IS our inner ‘mess’ that has so much to tell us as we step deeper into the process of loving it UP.

If you feel moved to ask questions or leave comments, you can do so here on the blog, on Youtube, on Facebook, or you can email soulfullhearts@gmail.com

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Physical Body Ascension: Being With Chronic Illness Through Parts Work

by Kalayna Colibri

Art by Rassouli

Sometimes it feels like pure bliss to be in your body and to be in this dimension… there is so much you get to do with your body. You get to explore your sexuality, get lost in dance, walk, run, do yoga. If you’re a woman, you get to explore if you want to have children or not and have your body become a sacred vessel for new life.

At other times, it’s painful to be in the density of your body, especially in the density of this dimension and going through all of the changes you’re going through.

Your relationship with your body during Ascension is critical. It’s so important to take care of yourself in all ways. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably someone who seems to move things emotionally through the physical body. There is a lot of purging going on with these upgrades coming in, and because of this and the need sometimes to move our emotional and spiritual processes THROUGH our physical bodies, there is a lot to pay attention to, be with, and love (as much as we can) as it comes up.

I’ve had allergies for as long as I can remember. I had childhood asthma too, which I really feel was ‘cured’ actually by star BEing visits (abductions) I experienced as a kid in this lifetime. I really feel like they would visit me, bring me to their ships, to help me find my feet in this dimension and live into my Service-Of-Love purpose. The allergies came up again today. They’ve been moving in and out of my body for a while now, because of upgrades coming in and helping my parts let go of them too. I’ve realized that parts of me have felt my allergy symptoms as ‘love’… a reason to take time off or check-out of life for a while. I’ve noticed that they come up when parts of me feel overwhelmed or I’m going through many changes in my life. They’ve been a heart-rail for them to hold on to. The more 5D Self I grow UP into now though, the less my parts will need them and the less often I’m experiencing them.

This piece feels important for everyone who has had chronic or persistent illness. Journaling with the illness, being with parts of you who associate themselves with it, are ways to find more info about why it’s there and what it has offered parts of you for so long now. It feels like sometimes it’s part of the upgrading and purging process too. There’s an invitation here to not make pharmaceuticals ‘bad’ if you are suffering terribly, yet there is huge value in also feeling what soul pieces could be coming up through your illness as well as this-life emotional pain and what alternatives there could be for some relief, including just BEing with yourself and your parts.

The physical body wants your love and curiosity just as much as your other ‘bodies’ do and it so needs everything you’ve got within you to help it upgrade along with you in all other areas of your sacred life! ❤


If you feel you’d like some support in feeling through what you’ve held in your physical body and how that ties in with your emotional and spiritual bodies as well, visit: www. soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions to feel into asking for some session space with one of us. LOVE to you and your body too. ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

That Scrambled Self-Image

by Kalayna Colibri

Jens Hesse_sat31_orchids_2011_84x51

Painting: “Orchids” by Jens Hesse


The battle seeds of “that, not THIS”

are planted deep and early.

They live, embedded, unbroken

for so so long,

watered by the choices they fuel.

These choices WE make

can bring them out to the sun

to be seen, felt and brought to light.

Victims to their siren call, we are NOT

as we continue to choose to listen

instead of feel…


Who and what we are told to be,

those who tell us are telling themselves,

and we in turn keep telling OURselves.

We poke, pull, prod

at those aspects we painfully, straining

excessively work to change,

not letting in the beauty

we are and were ALWAYS

intended to be a part of.


This woven fabric of our lives

becomes a threadbare tapestry

of power-filled lies

we tell ourselves in each moment

we don’t feel ourselves deeper…

The mirror of life

shows us where to go inside

invites us to be with others

to see a reflection

for what to heal next…

to find our deeper self

who knows

just kNOWs…

who we really are,

what we are really worth,

and that no one


has had ANY real say

in what that ACTUALLY means…


There is so much,

too much


From us to us,

NOT just them to us…

There is a lot

buried deep

we are digging up now…

bringing forward now,

being felt in now…

if we can take that next step.

Ask for support.

Say YES to love,

starting with OURSELVES

and those seeds we’ve grown inside us

that need that love

to remember

that this is what they were made of in the first place.


Let that light of your inside heart-shine

glow in your deepest feeling place desires.

Those ones that don’t beckon

to your image-based ticks and jabs

but instead

show you who


you really, mostly deeply




Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com


Feeling And Healing The Beauty Competition Between Women

stock-footage-silhouettes-of-two-women-sitting-next-to-each-other-at-sunset (1)

By Kathleen Calder

I looked around at the full magazine shelf. Almost every magazine targeting women had a beautiful woman on the cover, bearing her midriff, with a headline nearby shouting something or other about learning to look like that. As if that is the way every woman should look with a little hard work, or even some “fast and easy, no-gym-required, flat tummy tips”.

I began glancing across the headlines on each one, feeling a part of me tempted to pick one up and leaf through to the section she was most interested in – the one that promised big results fast. It is swimsuit season after all. Not long before it won’t be anymore, but that’s not important. All that matters is looking good at the beach. All that matters is looking better than the woman next to you. It seems we are constantly being told to compare to each other and assess our personal worth based on what someone else has and we don’t. I’ve had several parts that grasped onto that when I was very young and have only recently started to let go of constant comparison and fervent jealousy, sometimes even hatred, of other women.

I feel that these magazines are aware that they perpetuate this toxic dynamic. They are aware that they aren’t just telling us we need to look better, but that we need to look better than each other in order to prove our worth. It doesn’t feel like something within us, or some part of us, wants to be objectified and held up as “beautiful” by media standards, but it does feel like they may want that simply as a means to an end. An end of feeling ugly and fat. An end of being lonely and mate-less. An end of feeling unworthy in comparison to other women who have somehow managed to attain what we’ve always wanted via having beauty that seems to get you everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Wouldn’t it be nice if that actually existed? All we seem to be getting instead is a “beauty” that we strive so hard to attain that we actually shut out everything that’s good. A part of me has used not having it or being it as an excuse to keep people out…to keep love out. To keep us in stalemate against other women, against a mate, and against myself. To actually stop potential friendships in their tracks because she felt “too fat” and undeserving to let them in, which I have learned is only a symptom of a much deeper problem of an ingrained sense of unworthiness and dis-empowerment.

My sense is that we, as women, are meant to nurture each other emotionally, spiritually, physically, and psychically. Magdalene, one of the faces of the Divine Mother offering a conscious connection through SoulFullHeart, offers that this is true Divine Sisterhood and it is our birthright. If we are fighting and comparing we are not dancing together. We are not uniting our feminine healing powers and working together to heal this world we live in. This world that so needs us to work together. Competition amongst women is a potent diversion from what is really at stake. United in love we are more powerful than we can imagine.

Like most women, I didn’t grow up with a healthy template for how to embody the nurturing Divine Sisterhood that Magdalene offers us. Both consciously and unconsciously, my sister and I were constantly at odds. She was good at sports and I was good at dance. There wasn’t much support or encouragement in either camp for one of us to explore the other’s chosen passion. I am as much at fault as her for not recognizing what we did to each other in this area, and all the other areas in which we would be in contest (including, of course, the area of body image and diet). I also have a sense that my mother and I had some unconscious competition going on as well. She spent time worrying about me, which in essence kept me small. My bigness and my longing to live into it scared a part of her deeply. There was also an intrinsic envy that I was willing to take the risks I did to move forward in my life, sometimes carelessly but mostly because I dared to dream and hold my desires as attainable. Something I have never felt her hold as a possibility for herself.

Competition amongst females is so ingrained in the psyche of women that it’s hard to be acutely conscious of it. It becomes “normal” for us to criticize each other openly or even to simply look each other up and down, scanning for weaknesses or something we have that they don’t and vice versa. I’m exhausted by this dynamic and find myself longing for more women to be conscious of it so we can work through it together. This doesn’t come without great courage and a recognition that there indeed is a problem and something needs to change. My relationship with Jillian and my growing Magdalene-consciousness, has helped me to find my courage and a new template for how we can relate to each other as women. They have helped me become aware of all of the ways in which I was unconsciously attempting to compete with Jillian and together we are finding our way to Divine Sisterhood. She has also given me a new template for how to relate to my body, which has been of huge importance in shifting toxic dynamics between myself and other women.

My parts’ relationship to my body is and always has been at the root of my drive to compete. For some reason, the female body has been seen as problematic and it has been shoved down our throats, literally, by these magazines telling us what to eat and what to do to look “good”. This totally dis-empowers us with regard to our own bodies. Magdalene offers that it is actually innate for women to know what they need to eat and when for what reason. It is not so mental and research-based, though that can help if we don’t take it too seriously. We are women and we are naturally intuitive. It is actually very patriarchal to think there is a textbook-way to take care of our bodies and look our best. It is also very patriarchal to think there is only one way we should look and that we should strive for that no matter what the cost to our souls, bodies and hearts.

I am imagining now how different the world would be if we stopped competing and chose love instead. It’s a powerful picture…and the global healing that could arise from such efforts would be tremendous. We have only to put down the magazines and look inside ourselves.

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