soul work – SoulFullHeart Experience

by Kalayna Solais

I am still in SO much glow this morning after celebrating my birthday with my beloveds yesterday. Actually, it wasn’t JUST with my beloveds here in the flesh… it was also with all of you who wished me a happy day from your hearts. ❤

Every year, my birthday tends to bring with it a birth canal or even a series of birth canals, in the plural, for me to move through in order to keep becoming the being that I most desire to be, in the relationships I most desire to hold dear, and in the purest energy of service of love possible. Last year, my marriage and longterm relationship with my dearest soulmate so far completed and that whole process was bringing up SO much for me to feel every single day. This year was actually the most celebratory for me, as I wasn’t moving through ‘loss’ so much as deep inner ‘gain’ and feeling how much more capacity I now have to let that IN.

Jelelle reflected to me yesterday that in previous years, it felt like no matter what they ‘gave’ me, for parts of me it was never quite enough. Entitlement on some level was covering over deep unworthiness to let in love. And that’s true. Yet I never felt it as ‘not enough’ coming toward me. I actually distinctly remember feeling that I couldn’t let it in, especially the positive reflections of who I am that my beloveds tried to share with me. Their love couldn’t land because I couldn’t land inside of myself and my parts could barely, even after years of working with them, let ME in, let alone my nearest and dearest.

This year… I’ve been moving more into a flow of letting go and letting be while also letting in. I’ve still needed to set boundaries with others, letting go of explorations and connections so that they can arise again anew someday if they’re meant to, yet the sadness of this is flowing alongside a new sense of inner peace with myself, as I am now, even in all of my learning curves and imperfections. There’s a new conviction about who I am and what I’m here to offer, yet also a softness in my heart that though healthfully protected, remains open and in self-love overflow and compassion towards others that seems to grow every day.

This is new. And while I’m letting in such deep appreciation for myself and my own journey that has led me here, I’m letting in those who I can exchange deep and meaningful love and resonance with more than ever before, knowing that this is really all I need. It’s a tall order relationally to show up for on all sides, but it’s worth it to be in the journey of letting it in, not settling for what isn’t this (yet) and trusting that everything and everyone you need right NOW is with you and within you too. ❤

Thank you to everyone who celebrated with me/us yesterday, in person and in energy. Your hearts all land in mine in big ways.

SO much love,
Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

We are living into a big crescendo right now, especially pushed up by the coming Equinox and this trinity of Supermoons. I keep being offered to call this crescendo ‘Peak Fear’ and that’s certainly what it feels like is happening. We are living into a dark time where the rumble of awakening out of 3D slumber and into lower 4D awarenesses is understandably pushing up fear.

The fear though is not so much coming from a need to fear what’s on the outside and how what’s rumbling in the collective will affect you personally. The fear is actually a reaction to what’s been in your personal shadow and is now coming up to be witnessed, felt, and ultimately loved UP. The fear of seeing timelines/lifetimes where your personal Metasoul has been involved in some of the terrible crimes that are actually quite triggering for you in this moment… yet, it’s surfacing because it’s time to not blame others for the state of the world and to begin taking responsibility, finding forgiveness and love inside so that you can feel compassion for what’s happening outside.

This is not an easy process, to really feel through these darker timelines of which your soul has been a part. Yet, we’re all invited to inhabit this sometimes daunting and heavy task with a pace we’re ready for. It feels like opting to go on journeys via Ayahuasca or Peyote or any other methods of inducing these sort of processes could add to the trauma of suddenly being thrust into these timelines of darkness, yet, if this is something you feel drawn to it may be important to go into it this way. The only piece here is to remember to hold self-love around it and to have a self-loving plan for integration and space for processing what you’ve now unearthed.

This whole process of unearthing and remembering could be much more step-by-step and self-lovingly held and paced if you choose to access your Gatekeeper first, who holds the keys to these alternate and other lifetime realities alive and well in your soul. It’s through getting to know them and negotiating with them that you can begin the descent into your inner cave, unveiling the dark and the light in your personal Metasoul. Here is a guided meditation from Jelelle to help you meet this aspect of you and to start the process of getting to know them too:

I personally have not been drawn to the intensity of plant-induced journeys and have preferred the pace of self-negotiated steps facilitated by an open-hearted other who has also been there. Yet, this is what my soul has gravitated towards with having experienced many lifetimes of these induced journeys for the sake of being an oracle, psychic, etc. and may not be what you actually need at this time.

What we’re intending to heal as a collective cannot be healed by pointing fingers. This method of shaming and blaming hasn’t worked yet in our ‘history’ to genuinely change the world we live in and how it operates. We cannot fire guns (figuratively or literally) and expect to find prolonged, sustainable peace, unless the parts of you that are attached to gunfire being the answer are deeply felt and given the love they so desperately want and need.

We cannot continue to ask world leaders to hold and give us the answers when they themselves haven’t gone inward to find what’s really going on inside of themselves or their own souls. More and more leadership is being invited out from inside of you, starting with leading your own explorations into the shadow that continues to be illuminated by what you’re hearing about, reading about, and reacting to on the outside.

The beautiful thing about all of this, is that we aren’t being asked to do it alone. We aren’t actually being asked to go deep into the desert and suffer for our ‘sins’ or find penitence and to strive for forgiveness from outside of us. We are already forgiven. We are already loved, despite it all, because we have needed to walk all of these timelines out for the sake of discovery, learning, growth, and the path back to the love we’ve come from and simply ARE. Now though… now we have the choice about what we want to do with this information and we can choose to be curious instead of fused to the same reality of Peak Fear we’ve been witnessing and perpetuating in different ways.

Much love to you as you feel into whatever your shadow is illuminating for you… I, myself, am curious too about where this exploration will take me next, for there are ALWAYS gifts to integrate from even the darkest of places we must go within and I trust deeply that I will not be the same person (in a really good way) on the other side of each journey inward.

For more info on connecting with one of us for bridging sessions and facilitation to help you become this love ambassador to your own soul, visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.