Peak Fear: The Uphill Climb Before The Surrender Into Love

by Kalayna Solais

We are living into a big crescendo right now, especially pushed up by the coming Equinox and this trinity of Supermoons. I keep being offered to call this crescendo ‘Peak Fear’ and that’s certainly what it feels like is happening. We are living into a dark time where the rumble of awakening out of 3D slumber and into lower 4D awarenesses is understandably pushing up fear.

The fear though is not so much coming from a need to fear what’s on the outside and how what’s rumbling in the collective will affect you personally. The fear is actually a reaction to what’s been in your personal shadow and is now coming up to be witnessed, felt, and ultimately loved UP. The fear of seeing timelines/lifetimes where your personal Metasoul has been involved in some of the terrible crimes that are actually quite triggering for you in this moment… yet, it’s surfacing because it’s time to not blame others for the state of the world and to begin taking responsibility, finding forgiveness and love inside so that you can feel compassion for what’s happening outside.

This is not an easy process, to really feel through these darker timelines of which your soul has been a part. Yet, we’re all invited to inhabit this sometimes daunting and heavy task with a pace we’re ready for. It feels like opting to go on journeys via Ayahuasca or Peyote or any other methods of inducing these sort of processes could add to the trauma of suddenly being thrust into these timelines of darkness, yet, if this is something you feel drawn to it may be important to go into it this way. The only piece here is to remember to hold self-love around it and to have a self-loving plan for integration and space for processing what you’ve now unearthed.

This whole process of unearthing and remembering could be much more step-by-step and self-lovingly held and paced if you choose to access your Gatekeeper first, who holds the keys to these alternate and other lifetime realities alive and well in your soul. It’s through getting to know them and negotiating with them that you can begin the descent into your inner cave, unveiling the dark and the light in your personal Metasoul. Here is a guided meditation from Jelelle to help you meet this aspect of you and to start the process of getting to know them too:

I personally have not been drawn to the intensity of plant-induced journeys and have preferred the pace of self-negotiated steps facilitated by an open-hearted other who has also been there. Yet, this is what my soul has gravitated towards with having experienced many lifetimes of these induced journeys for the sake of being an oracle, psychic, etc. and may not be what you actually need at this time.

What we’re intending to heal as a collective cannot be healed by pointing fingers. This method of shaming and blaming hasn’t worked yet in our ‘history’ to genuinely change the world we live in and how it operates. We cannot fire guns (figuratively or literally) and expect to find prolonged, sustainable peace, unless the parts of you that are attached to gunfire being the answer are deeply felt and given the love they so desperately want and need.

We cannot continue to ask world leaders to hold and give us the answers when they themselves haven’t gone inward to find what’s really going on inside of themselves or their own souls. More and more leadership is being invited out from inside of you, starting with leading your own explorations into the shadow that continues to be illuminated by what you’re hearing about, reading about, and reacting to on the outside.

The beautiful thing about all of this, is that we aren’t being asked to do it alone. We aren’t actually being asked to go deep into the desert and suffer for our ‘sins’ or find penitence and to strive for forgiveness from outside of us. We are already forgiven. We are already loved, despite it all, because we have needed to walk all of these timelines out for the sake of discovery, learning, growth, and the path back to the love we’ve come from and simply ARE. Now though… now we have the choice about what we want to do with this information and we can choose to be curious instead of fused to the same reality of Peak Fear we’ve been witnessing and perpetuating in different ways.

Much love to you as you feel into whatever your shadow is illuminating for you… I, myself, am curious too about where this exploration will take me next, for there are ALWAYS gifts to integrate from even the darkest of places we must go within and I trust deeply that I will not be the same person (in a really good way) on the other side of each journey inward.

For more info on connecting with one of us for bridging sessions and facilitation to help you become this love ambassador to your own soul, visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Transmuting The Fear-Based ‘Love’ Lens Of Modern Spirituality, Starting Within

by Kalayna Colibri

love transmutation

It’s becoming more apparent than ever, how ‘love’ has been offered in very many different spiritual healing modalities and practices, and yet not lived into deeply by those who are teaching about it. What becomes very intense to feel, is the way in which love is often mixed in with intense amounts of fear and non-vulnerable responses to others and especially to the self. Words like ‘unconditional love’ are offered, yet often coupled with energies of shaming, criticism, and judgment, subtle or not. Judgment and punishing energies come from parts of us that need our love and attention and their intensity is often off-gassed, put onto others without a sense of personal accountability or consciousness. Judgment, in and of itself, is not ‘bad’ and, in fact, has been a necessary thing when it comes to moving through 3D life, and with work, it can heal to healthy discernment and a letting in of deep compassion. The primary energy though with which we tend to hold judgments is another thing entirely and is typically an expression of a need for more time within you. Healthy discernment and expressions of intuition come from many years of working with Inner Punishers/Judgers, which is a powerful way to find your authentic sense of compassion and Love too, starting, always, from you to you. Until these frequencies are given space to heal within, they actually can run through every area of our lives, dulling our sense of wonder at ourselves let alone others, and taming our reality of and access to higher frequencies of Love.

It has been really coming to light lately, that heavy-handed judgments from healers who are supposed to be offering deep healing to others are actually the norm. There are judgments and invasive read-outs being offered that are disguised as ‘love’ and assumed to BE ‘love’ by those receiving. There have also been SO many fear-based messages given without consciousness and often touted as channellings. Indeed, what we have learned is ‘love’ and have felt to BE ‘love’ so often misses the mark and is actually based in immense fear…. understandably so in some ways, given how harsh and challenging 3D reality has been, yet this reality is being invited to shift in every moment of our ever-expanding consciousness and our ever-opening and healing Sacred Human hearts.

Perhaps this is one of the main sources of pain in all of our bodies, physical, emotional, etc. right now during this phase of Ascension… we need to clear ourselves of the false love we have taken in from so many, so we can re-calibrate and learn what real Love IS… and that the only source of ‘unconditional love’ we can rely on is inside of us and with the Divine. It IS possible to experience deep love in ALL relationships outside of ourselves and in fact, we need to hold out for it, settle for nothing less than it, and we also need to let go of the label or expectation of it ever being ‘unconditonal’ when coming from another. We can recognize each other as expressions of Infinite Love and feel Love and authentic compassion for each other based on this picture, yet this can only really happen if we can feel this inside ourselves first in all ways and in all parts of us too.

The Love we are truly made of and deeply wanting more of, consciously or unconsciously, is right here, waiting for those moments of entry into us. The more we choose to express Love within ourselves, including being with parts of us that need us and Metasoul Aspects too, but also including the food we eat, the ways in which we treat our bodies, the meditation practices we sit in, and the relationships we have and inhabit. There is so much that Love, in all of its many shapes, colours, and textures, wants to come into you and show Itself for what it really is and how it really feels when it is truly, authentically, REALly there inside and beside you… ❤


If you are ready to begin or continue the process of going deeper into your own Love overflow that offers you a real sense of PURE Love starting within, you can have a look at: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess and feel into having a free 30min intro session with one of my beloveds or myself. We would love to support you on your journey and the nourishment of doing so, so goes both ways! ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.