Peak Fear: The Uphill Climb Before The Surrender Into Love

by Kalayna Solais

We are living into a big crescendo right now, especially pushed up by the coming Equinox and this trinity of Supermoons. I keep being offered to call this crescendo ‘Peak Fear’ and that’s certainly what it feels like is happening. We are living into a dark time where the rumble of awakening out of 3D slumber and into lower 4D awarenesses is understandably pushing up fear.

The fear though is not so much coming from a need to fear what’s on the outside and how what’s rumbling in the collective will affect you personally. The fear is actually a reaction to what’s been in your personal shadow and is now coming up to be witnessed, felt, and ultimately loved UP. The fear of seeing timelines/lifetimes where your personal Metasoul has been involved in some of the terrible crimes that are actually quite triggering for you in this moment… yet, it’s surfacing because it’s time to not blame others for the state of the world and to begin taking responsibility, finding forgiveness and love inside so that you can feel compassion for what’s happening outside.

This is not an easy process, to really feel through these darker timelines of which your soul has been a part. Yet, we’re all invited to inhabit this sometimes daunting and heavy task with a pace we’re ready for. It feels like opting to go on journeys via Ayahuasca or Peyote or any other methods of inducing these sort of processes could add to the trauma of suddenly being thrust into these timelines of darkness, yet, if this is something you feel drawn to it may be important to go into it this way. The only piece here is to remember to hold self-love around it and to have a self-loving plan for integration and space for processing what you’ve now unearthed.

This whole process of unearthing and remembering could be much more step-by-step and self-lovingly held and paced if you choose to access your Gatekeeper first, who holds the keys to these alternate and other lifetime realities alive and well in your soul. It’s through getting to know them and negotiating with them that you can begin the descent into your inner cave, unveiling the dark and the light in your personal Metasoul. Here is a guided meditation from Jelelle to help you meet this aspect of you and to start the process of getting to know them too:

I personally have not been drawn to the intensity of plant-induced journeys and have preferred the pace of self-negotiated steps facilitated by an open-hearted other who has also been there. Yet, this is what my soul has gravitated towards with having experienced many lifetimes of these induced journeys for the sake of being an oracle, psychic, etc. and may not be what you actually need at this time.

What we’re intending to heal as a collective cannot be healed by pointing fingers. This method of shaming and blaming hasn’t worked yet in our ‘history’ to genuinely change the world we live in and how it operates. We cannot fire guns (figuratively or literally) and expect to find prolonged, sustainable peace, unless the parts of you that are attached to gunfire being the answer are deeply felt and given the love they so desperately want and need.

We cannot continue to ask world leaders to hold and give us the answers when they themselves haven’t gone inward to find what’s really going on inside of themselves or their own souls. More and more leadership is being invited out from inside of you, starting with leading your own explorations into the shadow that continues to be illuminated by what you’re hearing about, reading about, and reacting to on the outside.

The beautiful thing about all of this, is that we aren’t being asked to do it alone. We aren’t actually being asked to go deep into the desert and suffer for our ‘sins’ or find penitence and to strive for forgiveness from outside of us. We are already forgiven. We are already loved, despite it all, because we have needed to walk all of these timelines out for the sake of discovery, learning, growth, and the path back to the love we’ve come from and simply ARE. Now though… now we have the choice about what we want to do with this information and we can choose to be curious instead of fused to the same reality of Peak Fear we’ve been witnessing and perpetuating in different ways.

Much love to you as you feel into whatever your shadow is illuminating for you… I, myself, am curious too about where this exploration will take me next, for there are ALWAYS gifts to integrate from even the darkest of places we must go within and I trust deeply that I will not be the same person (in a really good way) on the other side of each journey inward.

For more info on connecting with one of us for bridging sessions and facilitation to help you become this love ambassador to your own soul, visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Feeling & Healing Your ‘Warrior’ As An Indigo Soul

 

by Kalayna Colibri

One of the main characteristics of a soldier or ‘warrior’ is the need for a facade. A face that gets put on to tell the world that you’re ‘confident’, ‘righteous’, ‘in it to win it’, even while there are feelings being stuffed down of unworthiness, shame, sadness, fear. This is the way the warrior likes to lead, without vulnerability, without being willing to feel his/her impact, and often with an over-focus on the self that becomes out of balance quickly in many moments. This part or face can sometimes turn this around too, claiming that it is acting out or energizing ‘on behalf of humanity’, for example, yet to feel a need to ‘fight’ is still about the self and not about a truly compassionate response towards others.

There’s endless ‘evidence’ available, especially as you move into and through lower 4D consciousness, that the world needs you to gather yourself up and ‘go to battle’ for something or someone, somewhere somehow. This especially seems true for Indigo souls, like myself, who in most cases have come into this life with a strong projection of life being an endless battleground of structures to dismantle and truths to uncover. This projection is complicated though… to truly feel it takes layers, challenging mirrors, process, and a willingness to look inward. This process still unfolds for me to this day, but so much of it has moved, even recently, because of going inward, being with the parts and Metasoul Aspects still living in battlegrounds – from the ‘war scenes’ of birth family dynamics to the other-timeline realities bleeding through of women’s suffrage, the fall of Atlantis, and a variety of other scenes of war and protest and injustice.

In the end, injustices being suffered in this world cannot be fought on behalf of, not with a sustainable and deep healing of them to be possible, for then we are not templating a new way to BE, starting within, and that is what this world most needs and is in the process of seeing/feeling more deeply.

There is a righteous inner suffering ground within the ‘warrior’… a push-away to love in its essence and to the love that you are in your essence. Frustration loops of ‘nobody is listening’; ‘nobody sees/hears/feels/understands me’, ‘I’m right and yet others keep fighting with me!’ reverberate inside, justified by parts of you that have become very good at finding evidence to support these loops. The place of deeper healing and movement around these frustrations is not one of the world suddenly improving or ‘getting better’ or letting you in in a way it hasn’t before, but a courageous gaze inward, to see yourself, to feel your parts and Metasoul Aspects, to be with the ‘need’ for the frustrations and battles and feel what’s underneath these frequencies and thoughts that only in the end breed more battles, more need to be ‘right’, and no room to care about how this impacts the world around you, your relationships, and YOU too.

I’m really feeling strongly like there has been a fortified veil of illusion that looks a lot like a curtain with the motif of war printed on it. This veil has been placed, WITH your soul’s CHOICE of walking out this projection, over all relationships to people, Gaia, the Universe, and yourself. This veil or curtain feels like it has holes in it though… holes that have come from it simply wearing down because of the waves of love coming in that have penetrated it, even in fleeting moments.

Love wants to help you dissolve this curtain, piece by piece, as you continue your process of feeling the parts and Metasoul Aspects that are attached to it being there and that have been used to this overlay being the only way they have been able to relate with the world. The dissolution of this overlay cannot happen without your Inner Protector being on board with it though, and probably your Gatekeeper too. They have probably both been working very hard to keep it hanging there because they have felt like the ‘warrior’ facade has been much more necessary and safe than the vulnerability that even they feel. You can read more about these very important and powerful parts of you, here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts and soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers

Ultimately, it’s all about love… and a journey to remembering that love doesn’t need to be ‘fought for/on behalf of’. The journeys of everyone are divergent, messy, different, SACRED. The journey into, through, and beyond 3D, 4D, even 5D has been and continues to be challenging and growthful. If you can find yourself getting to a place within yourself where the need to conflict without care starts to shift into a new realization that, thankfully, not everything needs defending and not everything is about you or parts of you, then you can and will find your truest sense of empathy and compassion — an ever-purifying pool of self love that you can pour from into your connections with others and service of love calling.

You will find your deepest, most vulnerable reality, and the purest heart of your being that has always been there, even in the most ‘war-torn’ moments of your life and Metasoul experience… that is a very refreshing place to live, love and serve from!

Much love! ❤

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I offer space-holding through Bridging Sessions for young women around and under the age of 35… they are 90min long and are a $55 USD min. donation to book. Please feel free to be in touch with me on Facebook or through our email address: soulfullhearts@gmail.com if you feel ready for this space, the mirrors that you most want/need to look into, and the illumination of your next steps on your healing and Ascension process. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session for more info.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 35, emoto-spiritual teacher, WayShower, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.