Death/Rebirth, Relationship Shiftings And New Alignments From Within: Personal Update From Raphael and Jelelle

By Jelelle Awen

Raphael shares vulnerably below his recent death/rebirth process that entwines and connects to mine and our ‘usness’ together too as we separated during it. This latest phase of our journey together has brought me so much into my own heart space, into tender holding with parts of myself and multiple metasoul aspects as well….at one point working with four different timelines at once! I could feel and focus on myself as a woman/queen/mate/healer, etc. and even with the times of immense grief and sadness coming up….so feel the core of self love and goodness and trust that is THERE inside for me always to lean into after all these years of parts/metasoul work and deep connection with the Divine.

I am amazed (yet somehow also not suprised?) as the timeline shifts again to realign us all together in community again. I certainly felt during this time of separation from Raphael, the trailing edge and karmic frequencies of our bond together, manifesting this life and other lifetimes/timelines too. I fully went into owning and feeling my side of the sometimes contentious energies between us. I learned and continue to learn so much! This is deep work to we have signed up to continue to do together, as so many counterpart soul mates have too!

I have been so amazed at how the SoulFullHeart process itself has so been there for me through the grief, the pain, the letting go, the realizations….all of it and then some…and I am amazed at how Raphael is moving through what he is too as he leans into it more as well.

With this shifting, we are feeling to remain rooted/grounded/based here in Victoria BC with plans to travel to Europe in the fall to scout out future retreat/group session places there too. It just feels like I want it ‘all’ honestly…the rooted/grounded heart home with my beloveds and the adventure/activation of travel into these ancient places and eventually hold groups/retreats there too.

My heart feels relieved and lighter too as the Divine seems to be gifting me with exactly what I want and need as I was so willing to let it all go (as seems to be the process honestly). Timelines really are collapsing and re-emerging SO FAST these days!

Thank you all of your sweet support during this time!
love,
Jelelle Awen

~

By Raphael Awen

I am so glad and relieved to be on the other side of what has felt like my deepest dark night experience this life to have opened out a deeply profound and meaningful reconnection with my beloveds after a long feared relationship meltdown.

I wanted to update those of you who have held myself, Jelelle, Gabriel, Kalayna and Raianna and our growing community in your heart.

I can’t hardly describe to you the death and rebirth process, the dark night of the soul process that is now opening out to love and life. It’s like the karmic shadow bill came due quite suddenly on what was underneath my relationship with Jelelle and by extension; inseparable relationship with SoulFullHeart and its community.

Really letting go of being in romance with Jelelle brought up, pretty quick after what felt like a treasured phase of deep and real appreciations, being faced with my own buried resentments based in real dynamics in our bond (as Peter Gabriel says ‘the seeds of my undoing that had been there from the start’), but so amplified by Metasoul realities that have been a long time in wanting to be felt and owned by me. The ripening projections of what was not reconciled me-to-me all but made it impossible to really feel and process any of those resentments, reactions between us that had been placed down under to protect a goodness and bounty where on one level, I always felt like I was in a permanent honeymoon phase with Jelelle, and by extension with our growing community. Maybe some of the cognitive dissonance of ‘this is all too good to be true’ had to do with this unreconciled shadow that always threatened to undermine the goodness. Gabriel and Kalayna can certainly speak to the rumblings that would come out of the woodwork at times between Jelelle and I.

This week, I found and connected with a Metasoul, whose name is Pillar (pronounced Pee-lar), whose timeline is the fall of Atlantis, who knew deep romance with his beloved Charee, (pronounced Kah-ree), and love within community, a ‘haven within a haven’ as he called it, but lost it all when he spoke to what he felt was the unowned shadow within the group. We felt and digested his devastating experience with being shunned, and losing it all, and the blame and shame, and all the after-the-game quarterbacking about what could have been different had he done things differently, particularly with more vulnerability. He also felt the words famously quoted from the Bhagavad Gita, by Robert Oppenheimer, the man credited with inventing the atomic bomb; “I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.”

Pillar and others in my parts and Metasoul have also deeply felt this theme of their truth being the torpedo of all that was good. My this-life history of leaving Christianity and the loss around that, as well as later losing the group that Jelelle and I met in, after being kicked out, so amplified these themes in my Metasoul, coming back to haunt me once again. I so get what people are speaking to when they mention their or someone’s ‘Inner Demons’, but see it as aspects of our soul awaiting our open heart to digest what they need to move their trauma, and afford us the overflow from their movement.

Pillar had the opportunity this week, being held in my heart, to feel me sort through, my own agony of feeling a future without beloveds, without SoulFullHeart, and then to make new choices and vulnerable reconnections. It began while staring down an insanity, seeking the handrails of goodwill and decency being restored here in the house we share, which was really rumbled the day before I moved downstairs to the basement suite, where part of me got vulgar in words towards Kalayna (the real low point). Gabriel’s subsequent help with daily checkins and space holding for Pillar recently helped things move through the birth canal. Each step brought new openings, and yesterday, after not seeing Jelelle for 2 weeks, and having limited contact with our community here, we met together as a group for some very precious words and tears together, and I was welcomed back into their hearts and my familiar treasured community.

Imagining a future of starting over in seeking a new community, a service of love expression within that and future romance possibilities looked and felt so hard, when my truth doesn’t resonate with any other known offerings that are out there, leaving me some hard road of beginning from the ground up, based in and on unresolved resentments, and ‘I’ll show them’, did not feel like a path I or any of my parts really wanted to embark on.

Well, that’s the short version of all this, which I hope to expand out into a new lived in reality on the other side of a huge compartment in my heart and soul and relationality now being integrated.

Jelelle even said to me at one point while we had a moment yesterday, ‘you never know what’s going to arise between us’, and my heart swooned, all the while knowing that time and space for integration and new discovery, new ways of being are also needed. I can tell you, with some trepidation, that it remains my (now, not-so secret) hope, that what does arise between us flowers naturally back into romance, but if it doesn’t, I really do trust that what arises can be and will be even better. I truly died to what was between us, and even SoulFullHeart, and am sooo grateful to be emerging back from the dead.

Parts of me are seeking guarantees from the Divine that there isn’t any more dark nights that will need to be this difficult. I trust that the fusion and pain was all necessary, though I really do hope to never again suppress anything on this magnitude, as it just hurts way too much. In that way, I can be the answer to the above prayer.

Thank you to all of you here who have ached for me, letting your heart be broken with mine, and rooting for me and loving me. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Much love and anticipation for the good that wants to come for us all, even through the shadow,

Raphael, xoxo

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The Crucibles And Gifts Of Sacred Union

by Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

It’s in what we see in each other’s eyes. It’s alive in the touches of mutual nourishment and softness. It’s present in the sometimes fervent moments of conflict or advocating for each other or ourselves. We see each other as each other and yet as very different beings too, each with their own path and their own healing crucibles, riding alongside this mutually claimed healing crucible of being in Sacred Union… which we claim for its depth not its length.

A ‘successful marriage’, to us, means a commitment of heart, soul and body that has found all the depth it can in this current lifetime and phase too. It’s not about staying together ‘forever’. It’s about being in this exploration of a deeper bond with each other while feeling all it pushes up and yet helps heal too inside of each of us as individuals.

This is not a perfect process. We engaged in romance on a few occasions so that we could see deeper into ourselves at each turn. The blind spots, the shadow, is revealed in the dance of intimacy. At times they moved us to new places and new ground between each other, and at others they took us to a completion that sent us on a more singular quest of self-understanding and growth. Each one leading us to new awareness and new desires…..sometimes for others and eventually back again.

In this current revolution of our Usness (the bond that lives between each of our sovereign beings), we have chosen to go deeper into this soul pairing. We have felt parts of ourselves that relate to each other’s parts in different ways. Many of our differences and conflicts arise from the meeting of these parts and Metasoul aspects. This is the quantum healing that is possible inside of this kind of conscious union. We are not together to ‘ride it out’, but to go deeper into our growth and soul edges. We both have masculine and feminine parts relating to each other, soul contracts to feel and resolve, lifetimes of joy and pain to integrate together. We have felt our kings and queens, soldiers and maidens, priests and priestesses, and galactic counterparts.

~

Gabriel: The journey of Sacred Union with Other begins with Self. What we feel and see about ourselves is reflected in those we relate to, especially those we are most intimate with. The ache for Other that may reside within is in large part an ache for Self. As a part of this journey with my beloved wife Kalayna, it was a process of falling in love with me. My parts. My parts loving themselves and being loved by me. One big Me love fest. It is that love of self and selves that beacons and draws that which is alive on the inside.

~

Kalayna: When I look at Gabriel, most of the time I can see him on all of these different levels and layers of who he is. Yet, he arises as a mystery to me. Also, there are moments and days where the soul isn’t seen right away, where he is a body in a space shared with my own. These moments though, I’m grateful and happy to say, are few, because of the degree of mutual respect and reverence we have for each other that still continues to deepen.

At the end of the day, I’m grateful for every moment spent with him and every moment that this relationship has helped reflect to me my next places to go inside, even if this is the last day we have together in this romantic bond. I feel my parts pinging off of and interacting with different parts of him in this this-life dance we share. I also feel, especially during love making and moments of deepening together, the other-life dances our souls share, sometimes unbeknownst to us yet ever present somehow. I desire for more depth with him, to venture off into many sunsets with this man, riding this horse called “Sacred Union”, trusting the unfolding of the path we share.

~

Gabriel: We know each other well in some respects, but are a complete mystery in another. Kalayna has continued to arise as a woman and blossoming feminine leader whose scent gets sweeter and succulent each time. Her passion and shadow reflect mine. She activates and triggers what needs to as part of my own growth and response to my own leadership. This has happened both in and out of romance, but this Sacred Union calls something forward that is part of each other’s crucible of Love’s ambassadorship. It is us and more than us at the same time.

~

Kalayna: Love is always here with all of us, inextricably part of us yet also making up our whole being. We cannot be ‘left’ or ‘abandoned’ by it, though the imprint of feeling this way in the trauma of separation from Divine love especially has made it feel to parts of us like sometimes love really does ‘leave’. In past relationships, even in past phases of romance with Gabriel, I’ve felt parts of me cling to him as to a liferaft. I still feel where I need to go with parts of me in their sometimes over-attachment to him and the comfort and natural solace he brings to the relationship, in order to help them find that more with me than with him. This feels so important for any and all relationships in my life actually, and is what the main process is sometimes for me… to keep bringing it all back to me, back inward, to find, cultivate, and nourish the ultimate source of comfort and love there and with the Divine as well.

~

Gabriel: There have been times of complete overwhelm and resistance and other times of ecstasy and bliss. The in-between is what we navigate daily, surfing the realness of heart even if it risks an ‘end’. In reality, there is no end, but rather a moving on place. This is the crucible of my process as a man to be as vulnerable and real as I can and to feel and love the shadows that arise from such a difficult place for a part of me. This is the Real Deal. It is the Big Time. We both signed up for one of the most catalytic experiences in life. True conscious Sacred Union. I am excited and scared as hell at the same time. Who we will be and become are unknown and yet ready to be born. I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone other than Kalayna.

~

Old ideas and conditioning that say that romance is really supposed to offer a ground of having someone to come home to who will love you unconditionally are still very much alive in our culture and embedded in our hearts and souls too from many different lifetimes of feeling abandoned especially by romantic love. The new sense of Sacred Union though, feels so different… it feels as if it wants to come from the transaction ground between two lovers who are in a mutual healing and maturation space, meaning that this cling to each other for reasons of quelling wounding for a while wants to move into something new, some new ground of relating that is based much more on health rather than dis-ease within. This is the sense of Sacred Union that we commit to with each other now… and we cannot know how deep this will go or how long it will last. Yet, to treasure what we have right now in this moment, even in this moment of writing this piece together, feels important and desired.

Much love to YOU and with YOU as you continue to explore your own journey of these Sacred Union grounds within… and possibly with an Other too, either in this moment or another moment to come. ❤

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

     ***
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.



Sacred Union Wedding Celebration

by Kalayna Solais

These are the posts I made for the day before, the morning of, and the day after Gabriel and I wed on March 9, 2019. A day with MUCH ‘3’ energy! It was a powerful and poignant day, celebrating cycles of life and the ongoing death and rebirth of all relationship grounds, romantic and otherwise.

Here are the posts with their dates! ❤

~ March 8, 2019 ~

Tomorrow we marry…
Declaring love and desire for depths
Yet untraveled 
Between us.

Beloved Gabriel! 
Joining my soul
Heart and body
With yours 
in this deepening way
Inspires
And drives it all home deeper
That this is what I’ve truly wanted
Earned
And worked for!

I love you! 
And the journey here has been worth every tear… ❤️

~~~

Face-squish snuggles,

melting touches,

roll between bedsheets

of softness,

bellowing and beckoning

heartbeams of sunshine and goodness

among the sticky-hot sweetness.

My head catches up

to my heart’s warmth and wonder

at how we two

so different,

so alike,

came together

to move together as one

yet two

all over again…

Lover of my heart, soul and body,

cherisher of that which I cherish,

my everything claims this,

our space of phases

and movements together,

no matter the length and breadth

of roads we travel side by side.

The light I love in you

holds a lighthouse lamp shining

for the leadership of yours

next to the shining brightness

of my own.

From here we gaze inward,

toward ourselves and each other,

belly-laughing,

dog-sandwich, morning-bed cuddling,

sweet sunset kissing,

and daylight collaborating…

This bridge between us

made of much,

holds the truths of which

we will uncover

as we each agree to the next MORE…

and our flow of love

cascades onward

as we walk hand-in-hand,

together. ❤

~ March 9, 2019 ~

Preparing for this wedding today in ways that honour my heart and parts but also honour the heart and parts of everyone coming, witnessing, feeling us in our next chapter together. This is another cycle of death and rebirth today as much as it is also a celebration of a new beginning unfolding.

I feel a poignancy in my heart today… and amazing to add, as I sit in this nearby coffee shop sipping a morning Matcha latte with my parts in my heart, the song ‘Landslide’ just came on… 💕

I feel a peace and love in my heart yet also the soft rumble of what’s to come… which is largely unknown yet the crucible of growth is real in relationships, no matter how spiritually conscious they are.

The hum of life and love continues to drone on. The invitation into deeper surrender to every twist, turn, arising and unfolding of the path before me and us is very real and sitting across from me in this coffee shop. Every face of the Great Mother and Father too is here in celebration and deep reminder of the next and next moments of deepening growth and healing to come. For myself, for Gabriel, and for all who witness our Union today.

We will share digestions and photographs with all of you later. ❤️

Thank you SO much for ALL of the love, blessings, and well wishes yesterday and always. You are all in our hearts…

Much, much love!

~ March 10, 2019 ~

I am nothing but blown away.

This man has no wallet worth a million dollars
But a heart worth a million kisses
And a soul worth a million explorations
… and then some!

Our day yesterday was magical, wonderful, poignant. It held the reality of beginnings and endings, that one ground has to give way to another eventually in the name of growth, healing, and service. That ‘forever’ on a soul level is one layer infinitely present, yet ‘forever’ on a personal level in this lifetime and others, cannot be promised or granted.

Every single moment of ‘together’ is a treasure. Every single wave of NEW is a gift. Every single ground of exploration is sacred… together and individually.

I love this man, my community here, our greater community of all of you taking this and us and our service of love in, and I look forward to the many expressions of our mutual growth, reflections, and above all, the deepening LOVE shared among us! ❤️

With big big love for all of you! Thank you for the well wishes!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Readying Yourself For More LOVE ON ‘Love Day’

by Kalayna Colibri

It’s Valentine’s Day today, and that brings up a lot for so many… even as I celebrate the day with my beloved Gabriel, I feel how much I’ve had to move through even recently to really see him and let him in more, even while we explored being ‘just friends’ for a while and there was a necessary inner boundary to doing this. I feel how this has been equally a process inside of me, for my inner feminine and masculine aspects to really start seeing each other and letting each other in more. What a dance this is, and ongoingly too, in ways and on levels you wouldn’t necessarily expect! I look at Gabriel and feel so attracted and drawn to every chakra, every limb, every nuance of his being, and I feel how much this might bring up for others who haven’t experienced this yet and are readying themselves for it.

We don’t ever have to be perfect to let in the love we desire. We are invited to be present to the process of the deepening and the journey that unfolds even while in your most desirable relationship yet.

I’ve been on both sides of the coin on different Valentine’s Days – in the celebration and the pain. And both are worth feeling fully… both are alchemical and can lead you to more of what you need to feel so you can draw the romance you most deeply desire and the overall experience of love in your life too. I feel the ache you may be in, and I feel Love there with you in it, helping guide the way to a deeper experience of it in ways you may not even realize are possible.

It’s a good day to write to Love itself, asking it to be with you in your ache and also perhaps celebrating its existence. Love wants to hear you, be close to you, feel you. It understands that you have felt hurt by it yet wants to have a new relationship with you and parts of you. It wants to ascend with you into higher frequencies and meet you there where it already thrives too. How do parts of you relate to love in general, let alone romantic love?

I feel Love offering now: “You are loved and that love is not conditional or based on anything other than your very existence. You are Love itself finding its way back to itself and that journey in all its highs and lows is sacred and worth it. You get to explore it all, dance with all polarizations and expressions, or just BE with the waves of it and what is being illuminated. Either way, today brings you an invitation to a sacred dance within and with others. The ways you choose to relate to it rests with you and I am here, always, to be in all of this with you!”

The time to explore love is anytime you choose and the choice is always yours, today and every day. ❤️

From my heart to yours, Happy Love Day! ❤️❤️

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Valentine’s Gateway To The Heart

In the past, prior to my healing journey, Valentine’s Day would give a part of me a little cringe. There was an energy of duty and obligation that swelled up inside whenever I was in a relationship. A feeling that this part of me had to “show up” in a way and be romantic even if he wasn’t totally feeling that.

Of course, there were the Valentines when I would go all out because I was in a new relationship and would get swept up in the collective swell of romanticism. When I wasn’t, another part of me would feel an angst and a bitterness that would demean the day as commercial exploitation. Many other times I could feel an ambivalence inside me as the day would just come and go

As I reflect on that and compare it to where I am now in a conscious sacred union with Kalayna, I can feel how those reactions were portals into my relationship to love, romance, and intimacy. Since it is a collective experience, at least in Western consciousness, a lot can get kicked up in the emotional body for both men and women.

Memories of recent relationships, the status of current relationships, or the longing of future romance amplifies as we experience this as a Whole. The parts of us that were wounded and hurt are triggered at this time. What a great opportunity to feel them in this!

I feel that this is true for both men and women, yet women feel closer to it than many men as we have more of a mechanism to bury or ignore these feelings than women. But I know that men feel a great deal during this time, regardless of what a part of them may say outwardly.

We all have parts of us that relate to this day differently. The inner child exuberance of joy, gifts, and candy, the inner teenager and its tragic romantic conflict and angst, the inner prince that gets to court and woo the inner princess, or the inner matriarch and patriarch that can throw the whole damn thing out the window for that matter!

What do love, romance, and intimacy represent to these different aspects of you? What are the hurt, trauma, yearning, or ambivalence wanting you to feel? To express? Writing a letter to Love is a great way to access this relationship regardless of where you are at. It is a key that can open up doors to the tender parts of you that are awaiting your entry and open heart to feel them in it.

For parts of men, this may feel a bit too feminine, but I encourage you to take a moment to give it a try. If there is a feeling of resistance then maybe writing to that resistance can help grease the wheels.

What does Love mean to you, even if what comes out seems to counter and oppose? Digesting that with another open heart can offer a deeper reflection and pathway to where you ultimately want to go in the arena of romance even if it is just from you to you, as that is where it all begins.

For more on inner and outer sacred union and intimacy check out these videos from Jelelle and Raphael Awen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPVo1iZTYng&feature=share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diPaOZFiPBM&feature=share

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations

The Poultice Of Love And The Fear Of Intimacy

Wow! What a response the last couple of days to our engagement. Thank you so much to everyone who left your well-wishes and congratulations.

One thing I took away from it all is that one way or another we all seek Love. Maybe there are parts that may feel despair, doubt, or indifference to it, but at our core we love Love. The only thing that gets similar reactions is anything based on Fear. So in some ways, we have parts that love Fear too. Yeah, I know, an oxymoron.

This is the sacred dance though. The two poles of our BEing that seem at odds but are just trying to reconcile each other. As we all continue to heal our Selves with Love and for the sake of Love, we enter a new relationship to Fear. Something shifts in the power structure. The deepening commitment and claim of this romance with Kalayna will certainly bring up another layer of this relationship to fear of intimacy. Deep transformational intimacy that takes us to the core of our deepest traumas and pains that can only surface from the poultice of Love.

So the collective response is saying to me, “YES! Keep going! Keep feeling the edges of this because I want this too!” or “YES! Bring more of this into the world as it adds to mine as well!”. Even if Kalayna and I don’t “make it” in the long run, we are committing ourselves to this deeper healing that has collective and personal consequences. “Success” is only determined if we feel everything we to feel and say everything we need to say while we are engaged in this marriage of Soul and Heart. We are bound by this in desire, not duty.

I feel to continue this exploration of marriage, intimacy, love, and fear through the heart of the Masculine. What is its relationship and desire to those very things? Right now it is about being centered in Heart while exploring the Soul in healing the parts of me still in shadow around intimacy with the Feminine. It is a sacred one that I accept with dedication and passion.

If you are a man or a woman with this rising desire in you, stay tuned for more. I am also available for sessions to support you along the journey of this sacred healing and letting in of Love. Thank you so much again for all the outpouring of support and love for us both. ❤

*****

Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sacred Union & Sacred Sexuality Guided Meditation – DAY 23: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/Raphael & Jelelle Awen (VIDEO)

DAY TWENTY-THREE: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Sacred Union & Sacred Sexuality Guided Meditation W/Raphael & Jelelle Awen

 

This is day twenty-three of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. In today’s video, SoulFullHeart Facilitator/Co-creator and my husband Raphael Awen joins me as we talk about sacred union and sacred sexuality. We have been in the exploration of sacred union grounds together for over ten years and share what we feel a sacred union is and isn’t. Transactability in ALL grounds of heart, body, mind, and soul is one of our definitions for a sacred union, rather than an over reliance on capacity potential as a compensation for areas that aren’t transacting in a nourishing way on a regular basis.

Raphael and Jelelle share about how sacred sexuality combines the second chakra WITH the fourth chakra in a heart-based sexuality that is held by the soul. A key aspect to healing your sacred sexual expression is through connection with your Inner Teenager, who holds the seeds of sexuality, just waiting for initiation into a more mature expression of it. Also, key to sacred sexual expression with a mate and with yourself is negotiation with your Inner Protector in order to feel and heal sexual trauma experiences.

In the meditation today, Raphael leads you on an experience of sacred union through attending a dance ball at your inner castle/essence. He invites the Divine Masculine (esp. Yeshua) and Divine Feminine (in the form of Magdalene) to hold space for you to meet your sacred union partner. They may be someone you already know or not, yet you are invited to feel what desires and fears come up in response to them.

Thank you for joining us on this twenty-third day of 33….as we move into Deepening energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You can watch each video in the Deepen playlist on my SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist

I will be hosting a group session over Zoom to digest your experience during this series for a $11 USD minimum. The next one will be on Saturday, February 2nd at 11:00am PST. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2189383564650970/

You are welcome to share your experiences of this guided meditation here on FB and I will respond to your sharings.

Jelelle Awen
1:1 bridging and ongoing sessions available with me for women over 25 and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators (Gabriel and Raphael with women/men and Kalayna with woman 25 and under) to deepen this connection with your Protector, Inner Child, Lemurian, and other precious parts/Metasoul aspects! More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance Guided Meditation – DAY 15: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE & RAPHAEL AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY FIFTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Inner Feminine & Masculine Balance

Guided Meditation W/Jelelle & Raphael AwenThis is day fifteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, my beloved and SoulFullHeart Facilitator Raphael Awen joins me to talk about inner feminine and masculine balance. Raphael shares about a process that he is holding with his inner masculine and feminine parts/aspects to explore where there is more doing, linear, and power driven masculine rather than a balance of masculine energy with feminine heart presence. Jelelle shares about how this applies to the inner masculine for women (as represented by the Protector.)

When Man Loves Woman: A Tribute To Sacred Romance and Union

This is in tribute to my beloved Kalayna Colibri  on her birthday. We have shared so many together since we met 6 years ago but this is our first in romance. I wanted to honor her for all she represents to me and thus the male collective. We have been through much together and I have had my share of process around letting in a conscious and sacred romance. This is the real deal and that brings with it challenges and immense joy.

When a man loves a woman he sees Her as She is
The beauty, the pain, the innocence, the queen, the shadow
He claims her for who she is in the moment
Knowing that She is always seeking and striving for Her More

He works within himself to heal the projections
That may be placed upon Her as a reflection of His own mirror
The places that He can’t see without Her
The ones She agreed to hold as part of The Deepening, The Clearing

This woman does not come by often
She can be an epic storm
That rearranges the locks on the Heart Doors
And she is the one that has held the Key

He is not obliged to her nor entitled
Yet He climbs the trellis, scales the walls
He rides his white horse to meet Her on her own
And they ride together, heart by heart, soul to soul

She engages His bigness as He does Hers
She opens the portals and He takes the wheel
She requires the one thing that may be the hardest thing to give
His vulnerability

She is there when the journey, the healing
Become too much for His protected parts to bear
He may get lost in the doing and the creating
But He wants Her to know that She is always the beacon back to Himself

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Gifts Of Intimacy And Sacred Union

Our biggest mirrors lie in our most intimate relationships, especially those that are romantic. That which lies in the deepest shadow places can really only ever be seen and felt in those connections whose dynamics bring us to the edge of our defenses and vulnerability. We get to  feel the depth of our own self and what it is that we have been unaware of in the way we relate to life and love.

True sacred union is meant to offer us the means to explore and feel the ways in which we have kept our shadow and light sequestered for very reasonable reasons. It is an ongoing experiential playground in which we get to grow and learn. Each time we open our hearts to the most vulnerable of places, the parts of us that have been so timid and sensitive to bearing their deepest fears, we bring our being to a precipice or a fork in the road. How will my truth, my needs, my love, land in the person that we, and parts of us, have so much invested in?

These investments have different roots…some more wounded or authentic than others. The true sacred union continually asks questions about what is the authentic feeling ground between both partners. Is there a deepening occurring? Is there a feeling of a new arising, both in yourself and in the other, as you continue to heal all that resists real love and growth?

I have been so used to being in my own personal healing space over the years. It has been a newer experience for me to bring that into the space that is now populated with another. It is a new level of showing up for myself and a union with Kalayna. I do have parts that have had habit of coasting in relationship, both to a mate and myself. Sacred union and intimacy pokes a stick at that to keep the fire of consciousness and romance alive and in continued curiosity and expression.

The edges come when one is feeling a chasm of relationality in the space between. What needs to be felt and expressed that can open a doorway to a more authentic felt reality? The inherent risk, of course, is that there may be a difficult yet necessary acceptance that the ground between lovers and mates is no longer sufficient to keep the current inner need for More alive and transactable.

The ground of metasoul connections, sexual compatibility, intellectual alignments, or emotional dependency are not enough in and of themselves to hold together a Love that wants ALL areas of heart, body, mind, and soul to be met with passion and purpose. The more we are willing to feel and express our own needs, truths, and desires the more we are able to attract the kind of love that we feel for ourselves. The more we are willing to take these in from another, and conflict if need be to sort out what is real, the more we are able to find new places of growth and love within ourselves.

I am so fortunate to be in this with someone who cares so deeply for herself, her parts, and process, as well me, my parts, and my process. There is no way I get to stay stuck in something that may be hard for me to see. I am urged to advocate for my needs and for what I want and desire in her. She is a true gift of realness to me. She is the wind to my sails if I am willing to stick them out there.  I get to show up for that and I am forever grateful to what she means to my continued growth, expansion, and leadership of heart for men and women in the desire for the More they have signed up for.

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SoulFullHeart is healing and integration process that explores your inner world through the connection and feeling of parts and metasoul aspects. This is the self to self relationship that opens the doorway to deeper connection of self to other in intimacy and romance. It is a catalytic and expansive work that opens to a new world of sacred human consciousness and relationality. 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.