Ahead Of The Pack And Lonely

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By Raphael Awen

The point of all drama is to raise consciousness. The point of all consciousness is love.

The inherent challenge though is that once consciousness is raised, it divests of the drama, having received the intended awakening to love and a deep loneliness or emptiness can be left in its place if the love is not rooted and shared somehow.

The content of the drama, the agreed culture, the values, the energy flow, the challenges, the victories, the stories, the camaraderie, all of it provided meaning and purpose and it seemed like there would be no end in sight, like it could hold you for a lifetime, if not many lifetimes.

So then where did all the drama take you? What did all the drama achieve? Was the world changed? Or are people out trying to reinvent the wheel, oblivious that you and probably many others have already ‘been there, done that’? Why is the same drama out being re-lived, so seemingly pointlessly?

What if you were the only being, out of the many who filled the theatre that day, that lifetime, who could hold the lessons of all that drama?

Would love itself be satisfied if you were the volunteer placeholder to know and feel the love of the universe, the love of self, that was intended for the many, but was committed to you for safekeeping, until such time as it could flow out to the many?

What would this hyper concentration of love look and feel like radiating out through you in the midst of its lack and absence, towards those who are the rightful inheritors of it?

You are the saviour of your world. Your light is thee light. Your love for your own darkness is maybe the brightest light possible for any to see or feel or take in.

Can you love yourself in the midst of your loneliness, for arriving ahead of the pack? Can you see yourself as Jesus did when he said: ‘I go to prepare a place for you’? What place are you preparing for the many who live inside of you and outside of you? What gardens are you preparing and planting for true beauty to be seen and known and digested inside of its gates?…

…As you live into new dramas honouring all the ones you’ve already completed…

I would very much like to receive the love you have to give.

(I wrote this piece this morning as a letter to a new meta-soul connection pressing into my awareness, that resonates with my situation at hand)

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Illumination And Disclosure Through Crisis And Chaos

by Kalayna Colibri

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Disclosure is happening on all sides and inside too… the thing with crisis is that we have needed it. We have needed it in order to illuminate what’s been happening inside of us and also in our relationships and the people around us. There is nothing like a death in the family, for example, to bring to light the true colours of parts within each family member – how you respond to each and every event in your life, is a chance to look into a mirror, no matter how extreme or intense the event is. What parts of you would rather pave over, pretend isn’t there STILL, even though it is staring you in your very eyes, is a choice that often leads to more drama, more crisis, more chaos. It’s not about going down the road of self-punishment, either… so many do this, often without realizing this is what’s happening on some level of their being. Often this inner response is so ingrained that it just feels normal.

This response is what spills over into a lack of genuine compassion for others who are walking out the crisis too. This response is what keeps you from feeling others AND yourself in a deeper way.

Whether you feel you are a lightworker or not, there is so much to let in around what real compassion looks and feels like. Anything that is dismissed as ONLY ‘victim mentality’ or ONLY anything else, is a black and white conclusion that does not serve love in the way your most genuine heart intends to. Others are suffering and their parts need to be felt inside of the pain before they can heal the victim within. Spill-over of self-punishment and criticism frequencies is something very powerful to watch and feel for, happening in the wildfire raging within, coming from parts that feel the crisis environment and aren’t sure how to be with it…

There is so much to be discovered within, within, withIN… there has been so much need for drama and crisis as more disclosure takes place and there will likely need to be some more because the light it casts into the darkness is the most powerful gift we could be given during these times. It does feel like eventually we won’t need this chaos anymore, and indeed we will draw it less individually if the chaos is felt and heard and healed within… one felt step at a time. 

 


To have space held in love WITH you, is an essentially part of going inward, feeling personal disclosure, and digesting the experience with a heart-open other. We offer free 30min intro sessions and hold them with the intention of helping you go where you cannot go on your own and without direct support from someone who has been there. Visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energy Update: Collective And Personal Disclosure Process Underway Offering Important Mirror To Us All

By Jelelle Awen

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The disclosure process is underway. All of what seems like a BIG mess happening on the global stage, world events, and even weather patterns is all an important aspect of ascension. This disclosure process is happening on both the collective level (conscious and unconscious, awakening souls and NOT awakened yet) and the very personal, intimate level too. What has previously been hidden in any way becomes exposed as Gaia continues Her climb, transition, moving into New Earth, New And Improved Gaia-ness. Higher vibration frequencies and energies can’t cover over….they are like the sun seeking out the shadows. They shine their love light bright to illuminate what has been in the dark and reveal what has been shrouded.

So many awakening souls have been looking for signs of disclosure beginning. They have been waiting for the curtain of the 3D matrix ‘out there’ to be pulled back and the ‘real’ to be exposed and shown. Maybe you have claimed your role in this collective disclosure process too…as an advocate, truth teller, and waySHOWer. The corruption, manipulation, power games of the wounded masculine in both men and women have found roots of expression, serving as a mostly invisible ungirding for much of the 3D world. These roots are starting to be dug up now, names being named as the reigns of the false kings and queens and their empires start to fall, and those who were previously ‘kept’ quiet finding their voice.

The collective disclosure process has much to run out and through, many layers to reveal and heal. It will be a shocking and traumatic experience for those souls connected and attached to the 3D matrix as it begins to crumble, dissolve, and collapse in front of them. The ‘world’ that their 3D self has invested in will be declaring bankruptcy in the currencies that matter the most in New Earth: transparency, integrity, and authenticity. It feels unfortunately likely that some souls will leave their bodies, unable to handle and adjust to the shifts and changes. Some will go this way and perhaps they will be offered an alternative timeline and planet to play out the rest of the growth experience needed in 3D reality. I don’t get a sense of a definitive split happening here into two parts or bifurcation, as others have offered. It just feels like there are too many variables here with so many individual free will choices to be made by so many souls. The ultimate choices of love over fear in every moment lead to the highest timeline playouts is what I have been offered around this. ‘Highest timeline’ is both different for each of us AND unity consciousness draws us like magnets to each other to form soul family communities based on 5D or New Earth frequencies.

As collective disclosure happens, you can gauge your own inner disclosure off of it. What reactions come up in parts of you to what is exposed and revealed ‘out there’? What needs your compassion, and feeling of it? What has been formed in your shadow out of necessity that is difficult to see and be with, yet deserves your attention? Because we are ultimately ALL connected to each other, it may be surprising to you the reactions that come up in your emotional body to what happens collectively, even if you have known and been awakened to the 3D matrix for awhile. The disclosure process is MEANT to be both collective and personal. It is meant to shake UP and shake out. You might need to track the news (finding sources that work for you at an energetic level) so that you have some sense of what is happening as it offers a mirror for what is happening within you too. Many of us stopped connecting to ‘mainstream’ news as a necessary choice to unplug and to pull out of the false presentation there. However, now, mainstream is shifting into a transitional stream and some connection with it may serve you in feeling yourself and feeling others too.

Holding space for the inner reactions, feeling where they come from and why, seeking out support and guidance when needed….these things can help navigate the rumbles that come from your deepest inner grounds becoming exposed. As we become more porous and attuned to higher vibrational frequencies, we actually become much MORE sensitive to collective energies. This means we feel more compassion in a personal way related to what others are going through as we feel it more for ourselves at the same time. Feeling compassion at this level (beyond empathy….we need a new word for this) is a sort-of merging sense. Merging with other to feel what they are feeling WHILE still remaining an individual consciousness.

I have come to call this, ‘conscious duality’. I experience this deepening as I gain more access to my multidimensional, higher frequency aspects and their access to unity consciousness downloads to me…..and through many years of working with my emotional body through integration of my 3D self and 4D self aspects too such as Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Child, Soul Guardian, Metasoul/other lifetime aspects, etc. As I know myself at such deeper levels can I then FEEL and know others at these deeper levels. This is the process that we offer in SoulFullHeart through sessions and it offers deep healing, transformation and necessary navigational support through these intense times of disclosure. More information about a free intro session here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

We are meant to FEEL what is happening here with the disclosure process, especially as it relates to our own. There is so much opportunity for growth and learning in this, which is why we are here on Gaia…even as this can be difficult to remember for the parts of you that experience suffering to be here. Leaning into Divine support, we are invited to feel trust and surrender in the overall process that is happening and that it is ALL leading to the disclosure of what is real and for which ALL is actually made: Love.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Inner Matriarch And Wounded Feminine Legacy

by Kalayna Colibri

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Messages of being a warrior, how to stand up to men… conditioning around fighting, especially for our equality, in a world that seems to want anything but. Over-expressing our sexuality in an unemotional or emotionally immature way, or choosing to deny its presence altogether… there is so much templating going on, so many living examples of how to become a matriarch – strong, unsentimental, yet very often unfeeling too. All of this is an expression of the pain and wounds inflicted by a patriarchal culture, yes, and it is all a reflection of how a part of each of us has chosen to be and act in reaction to it. As a collective, modern womanhood has successfully buried what it means to be soft and still, especially as the Inner Matriarch, who is often also the Inner Mother, typically has never been offered a sense of what healthy womanhood is or could be, and thus wants to believe that softness is weakness, the mind and body are ultimately what matter over the heart, and that femininity means building a self-image of femininity that is often depicted in ways that at the core, are actually another expression of the wounded masculine, but with a feminine face.

The Inner Matriarch forms inside of you, following your nearest feminine conditioning while growing up, passed down by your mother or another female caregiver. Even if the influence seems subtle, it is likely working inside of you in many ways, including how you express or choose not to express your sexuality, how you feel about your gender, how you feel about and relate to men and other women as well, and how you navigate many other aspects of your life too. The Inner Matriarch, in this way, is also the Inner Mother – a significant part of any woman, that carries within her the legacy of the matriarchal lineage in her birth family, often to a large degree.

It can be challenging when living out this conditioning, to even realize this is what’s happening. So many patterns are being relived by you that your mother and likely her mother before her also lived out… or, this part of you could be trying to deliberately choose to do the opposite, yet somehow, there is something still playing out that runs parallel to the matrilineal conditioning and grooming. It’s nearly impossible to feel what this legacy really has held for this part of you until you have taken the space necessary from your own birth mother in order to truly feel it. The Inner Matriarch that could be leading much of your decision-making and relating to self and others in your life as you have known it so far, will blend into the tapestry woven by the other women in influence in your birth family and sometimes also in your group of friends. This is why the advocacy for space and going inward is so invaluable.

The Inner Matriarch is often a way in which the pervasive patriarchal culture gets to live on… she has had to become the way she is in order to stand up to and survive in this environment, or so she has been so deeply conditioned to believe. It takes more than the  ‘inner strength’ of any female warrior archetype… it takes the strength of vulnerably feeling where the damage and hurt have been inflicted, bringing it back inward into your heart, and letting feeling waves in. It takes the courage to take the next step to even acknowledge this part of you, to feel and own the conditioning she has had and needed for so long, and to let in that something new could arise. The true feminine arising is a mystery wrapped in an enigma at times, with a soft touch that can also challenge and set boundaries as needed, without nastiness, pettiness or cruelty and without an all-out suppression of inner truth on the flipside of that.

There is a balance that can be lived into, where the rose of feminity can wrap around a healthy, vulnerable spine made of self-love and worth, coupled with a healing and humbled heart that now gets to lead the way… and this is what is offered as the Inner Mother and Matriarch gets felt and begins to heal from the long, long road she has been walking for so long, softening into the frequencies of a Sacred Queen. This is also what opens out the possibility of a nourishing Sacred Union romance with frequencies of heart, body and soul resonance that are nearly impossible to feel with the intensity of a wounded Inner Matriarch expressing predominantly in your life. There is much to go into and feel with her, yet it is all worth it as you begin to realize what your own version of the authentic and ever-arising feminine self is and could become as you move into more and more healing on all levels of your being. ❤

 


 

For more information about going into your own SoulFullHeart process and having space held for this part and other parts of you, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess. We would love to serve love with you on your own journey into your deepest healing possibilities and timelines…. ❤

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

‘Me Too’ Naming And Claiming An Opportunity For Compassion

By Jelelle Awen
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The naming and claiming of ‘me too’ status here on FB or twitter as someone who has experienced sexual abuse, harrassment, etc. can be such a big step for some souls…a coming out of something that had been hidden, that maybe parts of them felt great shame around or even denial. For many souls, especially those still attached to 3D life, the naming can be an advocacy for starting the process of healing from the wounded patriarchy from within that it seems likely we ALL have inside from our 3D experience here.
 
For others, the ‘me too’ may be a kick out in anger, in outrage, at injustice….it may come from pain that bursts in this stage of feeling it as it moves eventually into the deeper hurt that wants to be felt and the wounds that remain undigested until it is time to feel them. More vulnerability, softness, and even acceptance comes over time it seems as this digests more and is felt by compassionate others.
 
It feels like each soul has their own process here around the naming and claiming of what has happened to them…to label ALL of it as just victim mentality (as some are doing) or that it is ONLY empowered action doesn’t allow for the very individual experience that all processing of experience ultimately is.
 
I do feel that ultimately we chose all on a soul level what we experience here (some souls signed up for SO much!) and the remembering of this can be a very empowering thing as we reconnect to our power as a fractal from Divine Source. Offering this isn’t meant to diminish the very real anguish and pain that is experienced on a 3D level though. Parts of us may need a phase of saying we were hurt and harmed too. The invitation is to move through this to make different choices, to end toxic patterns, to no longer draw abuse or violence from the outside as we have healed the INNER abuse and violence going on from one part of us to the other. Our unhealed inner violence no longer draws the outer violent circumstances as it no longer needs to.
 
I feel compassion for all those ‘me toos’ and the cycles of abuse and violence expressed by the wounded masculine in both women and men…as I’ve felt for my own experiences too and the parts of me that have needed me. All of us ARE ultimately much bigger than these shadow playouts, yet we are in the process of healing, feeling, being real, remembering our way to this and, in the meantime, it can get and IS messy. Yet, it is ALL held in love and by love for us to ultimately return, again, to the love that we ARE in our essence beyond what we have experienced that might tell us otherwise.
 
Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com

You Are A Non-Dual Awakened Being Experiencing A Dual Awakening

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By Raphael Awen

Wanting to know joy without sorrow is natural, but it is also impossible. Joy gets its definition from sorrow, and without sorrow, joy has no meaning or differentiation.

This is the world of duality that we chose to create and enter, and to grow inside of.

Abundance is only amazing in the face of lack. Without the comparative difference, it all simply gets normalized into a bored state of numbness, regardless of how good or bad the point on the continuum is.

At points in our lives, we come to deeply want to know the other side, the one we worked hard to protect and insulate ourselves from. The over-familiarity with one polarity seems to drain the reverence for the goodness of what one has, and we long for an injection of childlike wow and discovery to come back into our experience.

We call this awakening, and we compare it to the sleep of numbness of the over saturation of familiarity. We see it being about new values and new relationships with others who feel similar. We see it as better, and so we take steps towards it.

Many would argue against this whole perceived world of duality is the root of our suffering, tossed about in a world of comparing and grading between good, better, and best. We must transcend this tyranny into acceptance of a world without desire and more surrender to being, is the new mantra. Call it a nondual awakening….where you are in bliss but you don’t rate it as such or attach to it somehow, even though you sought after it through rating and attachment. Here again, even the term nonduality must rely on the definition of duality to find meaning, and we find ourselves back at square one.

I am a being who has had an undeniable awakening into the world of duality. I am dual enlightened, dual awakened. I dream of rest from the focus of my duality, and as I do, I can also feel an essence of my being that is nondual awakened. I am already both. My consciousness is going through phases of awareness of both in a larger awakening beyond dual or nondual.

That awakening has something to do with being infinite love as the only resource at source of the all. I already AM this in the fullest sense possible. I am not growing or learning to become this. Essence cannot be added to or taken away from. My experience is all about growing and learning however, as there is universes of discovery awaiting me in an infinite love unfolding reality.

I Am the perfect out improving on perfection. I already have it all even as I set out in search of it. The having and the searching are part of the same. Both are true, and one cannot be downgraded for too long, or we come to futility, our dual enlightenment again showing us the way back to the meaning of our nonduality.

We forgot so that we could be re-membered. We fell so that we could get back up. We surrendered so we could come to true power. We said yes to death so we could truly come to know life.

As I write these words, seeking guidance from my own inner teacher, I am aware of how philosophical these words are, and a part of me asks, ‘so how do I apply all this right now to where I live and feel?’ I detect an angst, a hesitation and a tiredness in its voice.

I pause to be with and feel this question, opening my heart, wanting to make sure that another part of me isn’t coming off tinny or like an answer man.

What comes in response is: ‘My truth is that you baptize all of your life, as you currently know it, including the full range of your experience, even the present angst and frustration as being part of the inescapable holiness and wholeness that you are. You are being invited to live into the feeling of this reality more and more, moment by moment and see where that leads you. There isn’t a fixed outcome, a ‘getting it’, an answer that opens out all the reward, there is you feeling what you want and why, reaching for what you want as you want it, and reporting back to self and other what you are finding and feeling as you do. There is no greater joy or greater service. This is you embodying you; the divine out divining.’

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Releasing Deep Pain And Soul Trauma

By Jelelle Awen

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This is so touching to me……beautiful testimonial offered from Maria Douglas, who I worked with through SoulFullHeart sessions, about her experience and ongoing healing integration. It’s always an honor to serve love WITH a soul, no matter how long it lasts or how deep it goes. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions to read more about our process, sessions with Raphael, Gabriel, me, or Kalayna, and how we very uniquely respond to heart and soul healing/awakening/ascension. What aspects are inside of you waiting for your acknowledgement, connection, and love?

“Following some months of sessions with Jelelle, I can honestly say that some deep pain and soul trauma has been released. For many years I have suffered with the thoughts of not wanting to stay on this planet. Deep in the night I would battle with thoughts of what is the point of my being here and feeling like a failure on many levels particularly around relationships. I have kept this a secret for most of my life but through sharing with Jelelle in a session she was able to help me move through this by connecting me with my parts. I have felt that something deep has shifted for me with my inner protector/soul guardian. The deep pain and dark dialogue at night seems to have stopped.

What also contributed to this was deep connection with the help of Jelelle to one of my metasoul aspects, ‘Aryehsia’. This has been helping me to integrate her with my 3D self ‘Maria’. I was able to help Aryehsia come to a peaceful place by changing her timeline. She is a priestess and healer who was in a Temple community that was under the threat of destruction from patriarchy. Her sacred way of life was being threatened and she felt that her life was in danger.

‘I have sent Aryehsia to a beautiful cottage in the country side with another sister called Marisha and the horses and other animals to safety. By dawn they fled together. Telling the other sisters of the temple that they could follow if they wished to but now the time to flee to safety. Sun light was rising. Gone to a beautiful land now with mountains, forests, lakes and rivers. Orchards and stables and a sweet cottage. They lit a fire. To live off the land and be self sufficient. Free of fear. Protective white light placed around their sacred land so they cannot be touched by troubles. They are safe to be seen. No more secrecy. She is safe with her horse Persia. In love and safety forever, being the good, sweet souls that they are in peace. In peace always. I can visit again anytime. Love them so much sweet souls of mine’.

I have felt much more peace following the sessions. I have tried many spiritual teachings over many years but I can honestly say for me this has been the most powerful at my stage of ascension. Jelelle is a sweet, wise and caring spiritual teacher with such a capacity for love. I can’t thank the Soulfullheart Community enough for their support on my awakening journey which is forever in progress.”

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

Healing The Patriarchy From Within

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Years ago, early in my healing process, I needed to take time away from family. I needed to feel myself outside the familial conditioning to really get a good feel for who I, Gabriel, really was. I needed to feel the ways in which I had been influenced to perceive myself and the world around me. This was especially true for my relationship to my father as he played a big part in my masculine conditioning and relationship to others, both male and female. He had many different effects on me that formed wounded aspects inside myself. I needed to hold and feel those parts of me as a new father template in order to relate differently to the world and others around me.

I remember as a boy my mother would tell me at times how much my father would remind her of his father, my grandfather. I remember feeling that in my own self as I became older, taking on so many physical and personal mannerisms. Taking on the family male legacy of anger and alcohol, the perception of women, and the internalizing of the patriarchal need for control and reason. As my parents divorced and my mother remarried, I took in another father figure that had just as much influence but in different ways. The Inner Father imprint was becoming embedded and it had its effect on my own sense of authenticity.  Who was I really when I was trying to listen to my own internalized father figure?

This part of us takes on a 3D patriarchal energy that comes from the more collective psychic wounding. It is one that has influenced my relationships with women and men. It has filtered my receptivity and openness to possibilities. My own inner feminine was a kept maiden, not feeling safe enough to express and emote. My inner child was suppressed to keep things in a serious and logical framework. Not much play in the world of the patriarch.

But in the unearthing and untangling of the inner father, you find the reasons for it all. There is no bad guy in the process of healing and integrating. Going into my own inner father wounds, I could feel the grander heart of the Masculine at large. The power of sovereignty and compassionate truth-telling. The desire to end the war within and be in collaborative balance with the feminine.  I could feel the the edges of my unworthiness and the real fear of surrendering to what needs to be reflected back at me as part of my growth and opening heart.

Through the process, my inner father takes a step to the side of me and becomes more of a brother, and then as the defenses soften, a younger, more boyish quality comes in and he begins to feel like a son.  I could feel my own biological father in more of his essence, encouraging me to continue on my healing journey and becoming like a guide to me along the way. It is a remaking of the past within the present moment where all things truly exist. A healing that has quantum effects between our hearts and souls and those of the collective father and son relationship.

The harder, less flexible side of me began to soften, be less defensive and more reflective. It has become less linear and more open to surrendering to the moment and letting the flow of life have its way while still holding personal will and desire in the mix.  When I do feel this energy arise I can feel what is underneath the frustration and need for control. Usually a deep wound of feeling powerless and overwhelmed in a world that feels like survival is the only reason to be alive. As I connect more with the Divine Father inside me. the more my own inner father can rest and let go of his Reign, which can feel very existential to them as the control is all they have ever known.

In the letting go, the suppressed feminine energies within can arise and begin to dance with the healing masculine and create a balanced energy that can penetrate while letting go of the outcome and the need for a particular result. It opens the heart to a more dynamic and authentic relationship with women in general and more specifically in a co-creative sacred union partnership. It shifts the collective patriarchal energetic structure and helps lead a new paradigm of leadership and stewardship of a New Earth and New Sacred Humanity.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

When A Mother Becomes A Woman

Me and Mama

I’m feeling so grateful in this moment for my mom, Jelelle Awen. I got a fever and a full body rash a couple of weeks ago and ended up bunking with her and Raphael until now. Last night was my last night before moving into my new place, (granted, it’s a floor below them…) but this period of time healed a lot for parts of me. I spent many years in Canada living with my mom and Raphael but of course, prior to beginning this healing process, I had a very different relationship with them.

I checked in with my 3D protector last night and felt an overwhelm of gratitude and appreciation for not only her mother frequencies when I need them, but also her as a woman. Parents sometimes become these vilified people in our lives, especially as teenagers. They boss you around and have so many expectations for you that may not even fit the picture you have for your life. It’s hard to remember that they have their own pain too, their own desires and wants and needs.

Parts of me tried so hard to push her away when I was younger, not being able to handle her desire for my own bigness. Recently I’ve been reading books that she’s written about certain stages in her life, first Under the Bloated Banyan and now Keep Waking Up. It left me in tears last night, feeling how genuine her pain was. How hard she worked to feel it and heal it all, down to its very core and up to its expansive reach. Then I started to see her as a woman, just like me, and a flood of admiration flowed through me.

She’s mentioned to me a couple of times that she doesn’t want me to go to my new place, despite its proximity. Every time it makes my heart swell because these last few weeks have meant so much to me and felt like they healed something in the way I used to relate to her. Instead of hiding away in my room, my door is wide open, hoping she’ll poke her head in to talk. Part of me feels guilty for the way I treated her then, but it was what I needed to do at the time.

It’s humbling to read these books and feel how much I can relate to some of the things she’s felt. Part of me put her on a pedestal for a long time, and usually not in a good way. It’s also heart opening to feel her pain of being so imaginative and heart open but expressing it in these multidimensional and life changing ways that made some people see her as “weird” or worse. It hurts me to think I, or anyone else, has ever felt her as anything less than she is, a gorgeous soul rooted in love.

One sweet message that came from connecting with my 3D protector is this: “She’s the closest thing to the divine that I’ve been able to let in.” I love you, Jelelle. Thank you for creating SoulFullHeart so I can feel you as a woman and a mother in a whole new light. I’m so glad my soul chose you.

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, retreats, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

What Is Real Cannot Be Lost: Letting Go Of 3D Relationships During Awakening

By Jelelle Awen
Alone-on-a-Swing
Loss is an aspect of awakening. It is a consequence of awakening, of bringing in soul frequencies into your consciousness…of waking UP in new ways. Then, you are looking around your life with new eyes….seeing what fits your soul’s landscapes and what does not. You are feeling with new heart too what hurts and what feels enlivening.
 
Your criteria for what you want in your life in terms of relationships especially with family, friends, mates…. is rising as your higher self/soul consciousness reminds you of what you have known of unity consciousness. Convenience in relationships (and in life) is no longer enough….you are starting to want RESONANCE. You want to feel drawn, passionate, able to understand without words….just ‘get’ someone and them ‘get’ you. Convenience and safety is replaced by curiosity and desire for growth.
 
Without that soul values resonance, you feel the emptiness of what had replaced it in your relationships….often routine, ‘past’ connections and memories. These frequencies begin to feel like echoes of nourishment, of what could ONCE fill you up, and now feel too superficial or shallow to your awakening self. Your 3D self learns how to survive and even thrive on fumes of nourishment within relationships. You learn how to pretend crumbs are a full meal. Your Inner Protector forms protections, shield, defenses, and filters…all the armored gear that makes it possible to BE in 3D life.
 
As your 3D self opens up and enlightens UP and allows more actual feeling tones to be pushed up from your emotional body, the defenses lighten, the shields drop, and the armor melts away. Love creates a NEW criteria of wanting to be in relationships where less and less of this defense is even necessary and where you can be vulnerable, REAL, and transparent. Somehow, your soul kNOWS how to be this way even as your 3D self wasn’t trained or taught how to be. Your soul can help to hold the space for your 3D self to grow and change, to become emotionally mature, to eventually integrate into your higher self coming into your body.
 
Yet, as an important aspect of this new training, is the letting go by your 3D self of relationships that are based in the old frequencies of settling, shrinking, or conforming. Those that are about fitting into another else’s boxes or comfort zones in order for their 3D self to feel better. This means LOSS. This means upheaval. This means sometimes a terribly painful crucible of setting boundaries, advocating, and letting go if a resonant ground can’t be found. THIS aspect of spiritual awakening can bring such growth, especially for your 3D self, yet also it can be resisted hugely by it too.
 
What is REAL cannot really be lost. Those relationships that may wear the setting, stage, and place of 3D yet are actually based in soul frequencies will reveal themselves as such. They will ‘come along’ with you on your journey in beautifully surprising ways. I have experienced that myself with my daughter Raianna and my ex-husband Gabriel. We began in 3D relating and spent many years there, yet…in the now and for years, we have been on the awakening path together, sharing the SoulFullHeart process way of navigating it specifically, and finding ever arising new grounds of connection through this journey. I had to ‘let go’ of both of them for phases of time as they chose to be in 3D life and I was awakening into my soul purpose, gifts, and consciousness. I let go of relating with them, even as I felt great love for them. I waited with open heart and, eventually, they ‘came back’ with none of us feeling like we are compromising anything or shrinking or not being ourselves.
 
Trusting that what is real cannot be lost, even if it is gone from your life temporarily, allows for love to arise anew. Love for YOU becomes your primary focus. And those souls that join you in this focus form the new, nourishing relationships that may wear the same ‘skins’ yet energetically are very different….now in a place where love can flow between you with much less barrier, resistance, and blocks. Now in a place where love can BE the common ground between you and not anything less than that.
~
 
Jelelle Awen
We offer a free intro session to our SoulFullHeart process (offered through affordable weekly sessions with a facilitator) that supports you in navigating these very challenging grounds of relationship during awakening/ascension: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions