Tag: awakening

All that we experience as life is given in Love held by Love for Love

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

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By Jelelle Awen

This image feels similar to the space I was guided to today…higher frequencies, beyond five senses, where all is made of white filaments with rainbow auras. I was just overcome by the brightness and beauty of it all, especially human beings in their essence as Infinite Love, too bright to even look in the eyes.

Hours (no time really) I floated here, dimensional traveling, Angels and guides surrounding me…..and yet also feeling the core of my heart beating strong even as my body became lighter and lighter. Feels like it was an energetic boost to allow more overflow to others, more love, stillness, and less reactivity. What a gift!

My body reacted initially with some pain last night as a portal of some sort opened, a vortex, and yet it is moving now…birth pains held with Infinite Love and seemed to serve a purpose. Shook off some negative entities that had attached along the way, like being dipped in bright love and all the dark falling off.

I would not be able to let this in without also going to the tears (and there were those too), saying goodbye and letting go to what I thought was my purpose and my place to serve it, allowing the part of me that was so invested to feel sad….tears even with a smile as I realized that it is all given in Love held by Love for Love….

Much Love is moving from my heart to those who read these words, may you feel the energy of it and let it in whatever way you feel to…

You are much bigger and brighter than you can even imagine!

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Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator, and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

 

Breaking Free From Political Enslavement And The Reality Of Archons

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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I felt strong energetic digestions yesterday during the after reactions to the election. I experienced this mostly as in the collective consciousness and here on FB, as so many parts of people went through stages of grief and outrage in response to the outcome. I advocate for self compassion during such events and also to allow feelings to come up and to make space for them. Yet, also, I had a deeper sense of how government itself and so many aspects of our ‘society’ have been created to perpetuate the suffering and imprisonment of humanity into a false world where empowerment and sovereignty do not actually exist. And that all of these reactions to government are actually sourced in a wound-based place of projection that just serve the outside forces that I will talk about in the next paragraph.

I have been receiving more and more guidance that most people are being greatly influenced and even enslaved by numerous outside elements, including what is commonly referred to as the Archons or an alien race that uses political leaders, entertainers, even spiritual teachers as puppets for control purposes. Because of the lack of emotional maturity and centered, embodied self, and over focus on the material and mental world, plus the wounded masculine dominance, people become easy targets for such entities. The vampirism that happens just increases the suffering, the emotional triggering, and the feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. I can literally feel these entities feeding on the protesting energy that is happening around the United States right now as disembodied sovereignty is projected outside to ‘change the system’ in some way.

Even as I feel the shadow and darkness that is at play in this relationship between us and the entities, I also have been invited to serve as a love ambassador in this situation. To trust that it is, in the bigger picture, a playout with Divine purpose and that even the ‘others’ come from an essence of Infinite Love. The purpose of the Archons and others seems to be to show us what happens when we do not live into our bigness, claim our sacred humanity and all of its power, when we live small and conform to social and cultural conditioning and when we disconnect from Divine source that enlivens and supports us.

I serve love through SoulFullHeart to bring about awakenings to differienate that which is love, pure, and real, and that which is fear-based, strategic, and congested. This is often a deeply personal exploration yet, also, the context and world we live in impacts people very much. Just like the fish is effected by the PH balance of the water in its fish bowl. My awakening and lifting of the veil to see what is actually going on in the world has gone side by side with my emotional and spiritual healing movements. And I feel this contextual awakening is as important as the gradual process of peeling back layers of the persona and strategic self. It feels like, to some degree, parts of us develop in response to this environment of suppression and imprisonment and would probably not form if we living in an autonomous and more porous dimension, such as what we call ‘Golden Earth.’

This can be a difficult concept to digest at first and parts of us will often react with denial and disbelief. Yet, if we are meant to be shown this reality, we can negotiate with the parts of us that initially reject it and the sense of truth about it may then begin to grow in our authentic hearts and souls.

Very informative teachers and writers on this topic who have studied it intensely, if you want to read more, are Bernhard Guenther (veilofreality.com), David Icke, Eve Lorgen, howtoexitthematrix.com, and many others.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Golden Earth Is Waiting For You

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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There is a world beyond the current one where things such as politics, greed, and war do not exist…it is this Golden Earth world that our hearts know is possible and our soul remembers…

We can invite others to join us in this Golden Earth and experience it ourselves in moments as our self worth and self love rises. As our connection with the Divine deepens. As our sense of being Infinite Love increases. As we surround ourselves with others who resonate and feel us deeply.

This Golden Earth is waiting for you and it lives already in your heart and soul.

The journey to it is through your shadow, your pain, and your suffering.

The journey to it is guarded by protective parts of you that are afraid for you to increase your frequency because they have been conditioned to fear love by a fear-based culture. These parts of you are afraid for you to feel too much of your woundings because they don’t want you to suffer even more.

The journey to it requires guides that can walk with you through your shadow land to reach the place where the golden rays of love rain down on you and emanate from you.

The journey to it invites you to risk the known for the unknown; to let go in order to let in; and to be dedicated in all ways to serve love for yourself, others, Gaia, and the Divine.

The journey to it is ultimately embracing the realization that you ARE it and that, in this way, you are already there.

~

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, facilitator, and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. For more about our awakening process that leads to experiencing Golden Earth life visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Life Isn´t Possible Without Death

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

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Our greatest fear isn’t about our death, but rather our infinitude. Death is simply another birth into the great unknown of our never ending being and the universe it expresses in. To accept that is to be in reverence, awe and wonder, which is to really live. To accept that is to accept your struggle with that. You don’t really ‘get’ that and neither do I.

Death and life are a great mystery that the universe itself and the divine itself is still busy exploring and it is exploring it through you and me.

Death and life are inseparable from each other, as every moment, every relationship, every being that expresses, expresses as a surrender to this mystery of death and rebirth.

Living our lives in avoidance of death or repulsion to death is to reject life itself, for life isn’t possible without death. Coming to terms with our physical death can help us come to terms with the many deaths of our lives, which in turn is the only thing that can offer us a healthy entry into our next stage and place in life.

You must leave in order to enter. We get to have life because we are willing to let it go. What makes any moment truly alive is to feel that moment’s life and its death in the same space. I enter it with a reverence that I must in turn leave it and its imprint on me as well as what I imprinted it with. Every thing and every relationship I enter, I must ultimately leave. Every Joy contains a sorrow.

If life is anything, it is reverence. To revere something is to fear it. To truly fear something is to be in awe of it, to respect it on a deep heart and soul level, is to fear losing it. What we really fear losing is not our lives, but losing the real connection with life within our life. Regaining that is about accepting all of our reality, even if we fall so short of understanding it. It’s about feeling it, not ‘knowing’ it in any mental or philosophical sense.

Finding and feeling the part(s) of you who hold your relationship to death and rebirth is the single deepest thing you can do to embrace growth, movement and change in your life. Parts of you are stuck in their relationship to death, and can only move from the fear that grips them if and when they are afforded a digestion of their fears.

SoulFullHeart is a path that specifically focuses on getting to know and feel parts of your self. It takes this reverential exploration of the unknown universe inward into the universe of you. If you feel a resonance that this is the reverence that life is calling you to, I’d like to offer what SoulFullHeart is my heart passion to engage with you. Our sessions page is here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Life Beyond The Veil

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

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At the edge of your life as you know it, there is a thin, but effective veil that contains you. Not all of you actually lives within the veil, but having awareness of this fact is largely prohibited by the veil itself. It’s as if life-as-you-know-it is all there is. For all but a select few, this pearl of great price will not be discovered in a given lifetime even though it sovereignly belongs to every single one of us.

The veil is like one of those space-age non-material kind of materials that can go invisible and can retract and expand as necessary in its containment function. The material lives not as some external boundary, but lives inside of you. It is held in place by every relationship agreement that you form with life, people and energy.

Try as you inevitably will, and desire as you will, this containment will not let up easily. It is designed to withstand even the most formidable of efforts. In fact, effort alone cannot penetrate it. It won’t let up until it knows that it knows, and you know that you know, and it knows you know, that you are truly ready to discover and go on to experience life beyond this veil. It lovingly begins with tastes and confirmations and many processes to make you fit for a life as you don’t know it and can only come to know by slow awakening.

Within the veil, you have become skilled at life as you know it. Your proficiency at the many work arounds parts of you employ to be living a part-life is truly a work of great attainment. It’s more than tempting to remain there. For most, even an inkling of a missing something is held at bay by the containment vessel. Your skill at life as you know it is dear to you. It’s made a half life safe and even rewarding. You’ve made a home away from home. What could be of any more value than that?

Life isn’t out to conspire against you. It doesn’t want to rob you of any treasured security. It actually wants to afford you a whole new relationship to security and a truer kind of safety that lives beyond the veil. But it waits as if there is all the time in the world, because in fact, it does have all the time in the world and is willing to spend that in your awakening process to life beyond the veil.

Life beyond the veil doesn’t promise to be easy or that there will not be other veils; that you will be somehow be done once and for all with veils and painful awakening processes. The unknown part of you that lives beyond the veil already knows this and is both urgent and patient in communicating with you. It knows you need all the time you need and that all of it is just as sacred as sacred can be.

When you are truly ready, you will repeatedly and consistently make many excursions beyond the current veil capping life as you know it. These excursions will be to confirm, further awaken and acclimatize you to deeper exposures to life beyond the veil.

If wonder, reverence, and awe is winning and possessing the day for you and nothing on this side of the veil can keep you from pressing through it, then you are already in process of moving through the veil. That’s why life as you know it feels so strange and familiar to you at the same time. You are in a profound birthing process.

I’ve been through a few of these ‘rending the veil’ life processes and I offer assistance to help people feel themselves more self-lovingly in order to be with themselves on their journey. I do that through presence, focus and dialogue together with someone and aspects of them when they are ready to claim that for themselves. It’s not an offer of friendship though I am known to be very friendly. You are not out seeking another friend. You are seeking (if you are) a space-holder who can assist you in holding your you-space through a profound soul and life transition. Why attempt it alone when you don’t have to?

I so welcome hearing from you and learning of your story. My sessions page is here if you’d like to know more. soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

I honour your awakening beyond the veil…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

It’s our relationship to Desire that matters, not suppressing it

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

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Possibly the single most difficult challenge in life is dealing with desire.

Think about it for a moment. Without desire, there wouldn’t be such things as addictions, no need for medications or drugs of any kind. No need for anything really. Sex, food, a new iphone, you name it, all of it no longer sought after. There wouldn’t be any conflict, as that’s all based on desire, so there’s the whole ‘world peace’ issue solved. No more internal conflicts either, so no more need for any spiritual teachers like myself offering ‘more’ in some form or another. There wouldn’t be any possibility of being taken advantage of, nor sold anything, because all that too begins and ends with desire.

What comes up for many of us in feeling this burden of desire that we carry is a desire to return to the place of no desire, to return to source. We can feel a realm of bliss and contentment where we were free from the tyranny of desire. But, to enter this place, we feel a desire to unburden ourselves of this seeming plague of desire that overwhelms us. Did you get that? Desire to exit desire? Argh! Give it an inch and it takes a mile.

The other day, in the evening, I walked down the hill to the beach seawall and stopped in for some ice-cream. It was chocolate mint with crunchy chocolate chunks in it. It tasted out of this world. I knew it was a sugar bomb and of no food value whatsoever, but it was just too good and too satisfying to say no too. Then, the next evening, the idea came back again, and guess what? More chocolate mint. That night at around 3 am, there was a sugar bomb explosion that gave me a headache. Now the chocolate mint wasn’t so much my friend anymore. Lesson learned right? Well, actually, no, because the idea came back around on the third night in a row and guess what? MORE Chocolate Mint, and yet another early morning hangover. Talk about addicted, I couldn’t even try a different flavour.

So, what’s the solution? The idea of some ‘self control’ comes up first with a bit of a punishing energy. “Once in a blue moon as a treat, is fine, but….”. But this too is the voice of another desire, desire wanting to control desire.

When you stop to feel through it, there isn’t a single problem that you have in any area that can’t be traced back directly to the issue of desire.

So, let’s leave this plagued world of desire then, right? To hell with desire. Let’s kill off all desire. What’s left could only be total bliss.

But we’d have to exit nature for sure, because even trees have desire. We’d have to shed the body, because it too is a demon of desire, food, sex, nikes and all. And then what we’re left with is being disembodied spirits who live in the bliss of escape from the pain of all desire. If this is true, then suicide is the greatest virtue.

But, think a bit further here. The question comes up if I would really be free of all desire after death. If I’m still existing, but outside of the body, I won’t be at the ice-cream shop any time soon, but wouldn’t I still be in some realm of desire?

It feels to me like the oneness source that we were birthed out of, the one that we can feel a longing to return to, is actually an energy of discontentment within its contentment. If God, or oneness, or non-duality was so blissfully fulfilled (filled to the full), why did it create outside of itself, beings who would be dependent upon desire?

The answer I can feel around this one and humbly offer as a ‘near as I can tell’ is that God had desire. I know that sounds blasphemous to our conditioned minds, but God wasn’t filled to the full. And God isn’t filled to the full. And God is out ‘godding’ around through you and me in this utter cacophony of desire that has been unleashed upon us.

Why?

Because God in its utter and total fulfillment, felt a need to step outside of itself, which it actually can’t do, but decided to try anyway and provide the illusion of separation from God as a learning and discovery ground seeking to come to know more of its infinite nature.

God is in the 18 year old out trying to get laid. God was in my ice-cream binge. God is in my desire to write this morning. God is in you as you read this.

Here’s the secret though. The separation you feel between you and God isn’t real. It just needed to feel real enough for the experiment to work. What happens to infinite love when it ventures outside of itself, when it lets itself feel the wanting of something more than the most it already has?

We don’t actually know and neither does God, but desire was again found utterly unstoppable here. God couldn’t self discipline itself to stay inside of any kind of safe boundaries. Love left itself up to love. If love is anything, it is free of control. “But, how can that work” we all ask, including the part of me afraid of my next ice-cream binge?

How about this as a solution? What if instead of killing desire, what I actually need is to go deeper into desire? What is it that I really want? What did the ice cream represent that it was capable of representing but not fulfilling? It takes as many ice-cream binges as it takes to figure this out, and love itself can hold every one of them. Even self destruction is held in love, because every destruction cannot escape the love that you are and that you never ever actually left.

Bingo!

To kill desire, you’d have to kill God.The word for this is ‘deicide.’ That’s why suicide is so offensive, it’s actually deicide and suppressing desire is actually fighting God.

You can embrace the utter contentment that you are and bask in its fullness, just don’t think that you won’t have desires inside of that. It’s a crazy thing, but there isn’t any fulfillment in fulfillment in an infinite world. ‘Full’ isn’t ultimately real, only ‘full for now’ is real.

Love wants to explore through you and it can also feel you in this burden it thrust upon you of offloading it’s very desire nature into you. Like a crack addicted mother passing off its craving into an unborn fetus, it can be seen as a tragedy, or it can be seen as love itself being utterly and uncontrollably addicted to love.

We are in a love experiment. Nothing more or less. Even hatred is contained by love.

In SoulFullHeart, we offer a way to get to know and explore the many parts of ourselves or subpersonalities. Here is where your overall relationship to desire can be felt through. Here, we can begin to differentiate each part of us and their relationship to desire. Without this, we remain fused to this civil war of desire inside of us. Check out SoulFullHeartwayoflife.com for more.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and Raphael’s facebook page for more writing. 

 

A Gatekeeper’s Plea

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

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By Leena Colibri

Could you love me…
if I showed you the scars,
the wings that aren’t pretty?

 

…maybe they never were…
but I can’t tell anymore.
I’ve forgotten what they look like.
I’ve forgotten how to see them.
I’ve forgotten that there is a mirror
and that that mirror can exist in an open human heart.

 

Can you see tears on my face?
I can’t feel them anymore.
My cheeks are numb.

 

Has life smacked me down or have I?
Has it all been as violent as it feels to me? Who is ultimately responsible? Am I? Are you? Is God?

 

Am I a product of my own faults? If I am, will I ever feel remorse? Could I ever feel remorse?

 

Did the war end or just ebb?
Why am I able to talk to you?
Why are you able to feel me?
Am I dying?

 

Did the soldier I was give way to an angel of peace?
Am I acting out of what was and is no longer?
Or is it all just beginning again and this is the calm before the storm?
I certainly don’t feel calm.
And I certainly do feel the storm…
In fact it is all I can think about.

 

Why can I suddenly see you?
Do you see me?
Are you pretending, as you have before?

 

Are you ready to believe that I am wounded?
Are you ready to believe that something beyond “me” is wounded?

 

All I am is questions,
a quester on an unending quest,
finding no answers, just more questions…
but for the first time,
I am asking them out loud and I am not afraid to let them fall from my lips and drift over to you, and into an unknown love that I no longer fully trust…
but want to…but want to again…as I did before.
As I did before the war. As I did before the battles I was partly responsible for starting.

 

Where am I?
How can you hear me?
Why do you even want to?

 

I could be your essence.
I could be that spark inside you.
I could be a part of all you are outside and inside your body.
I could be a part of everything in the world while also only a speck of dust on this great plane of existence.
I want to be with your essence…
I want to be with the you that could lead me Home.

 

Please…
take me Home.
 

*Find out more about connecting with your daemon/soul guardian here*
 
 
** Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Wedged

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment
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By Leena Colibri

 

I’m somewhere inside the in-between.

 

What do I like, again? What am I like, again?

 

My skin erupts into a fiery red spread
crawling through the cavities and crevices
of what was once intact and clear.
A skin that hasn’t been comfortable
yet I have always worn it.

 

I’m malting and melting
scrambling for the ground
of what is coming.

 

The corner to turn is up ahead.

 

But how far?
I can’t see…
My depth perception is altered.

 

I feel a million miles away
yet the hot breath of change is on my neck.

 

No more enabled
In fact
I am disabled
in a really good way.
In a really scary way.
In a way I haven’t felt before
and I don’t know if I like it…
Yet somehow…
it could be…
that I secretly love it all.

 

If this wasn’t what I wanted
the path beneath my angry yet tired feet would change state
and I would change course.
But I don’t.
And I don’t want to.

 

So if this is what’s next
I will wedge myself here for you.
All of you.
And my eventual freedom
will change the snow to raindrops
and nourish all
and be with all
and surrender to my own All That Is
All That Was
All That Will Ever Be
There I will find you
and me
and them…yes even them.
Because we can never be disconnected. Not really.

 

And maybe that is all I ever need to know
and could ever need to truly surrender to.

 
 
**
Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Coming To Terms With Our Light And Our Dark

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

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By Raphael Awen

Coming to terms with the fact that I am both light and dark may be the single most growthful thing for me this life.

Like the cruise ship that I just watched enter the bay in the predawn light, I just discovered something of monumental proportions about my life.

I’ve always had a love for God, a desire to be in awe, and in reverence. This is something known about myself and that others around me can attest to. It’s part of my light.

But in a recent flow of tension and feeling into it, I felt into an aspect of a part of me feeling entitled to have and know power. The 30 year long career I left 2 years ago was a lot about having a sense of power in the face of life’s powerlessness and indefinability. While most wouldn’t call me materialistic, there was something about the things that money could buy that afforded me (and still do) a way to assuage this pain of powerlessness. Feeling deeper into this need for power hidden in my shadow, I find something very different to the reverence for God that I’ve always known in my light. Underneath the entitlement and need for power is actually an impulse to dethrone God.

Surrender to a higher or greater power leaves part of me in some ‘lesser than’ place struggling to see it as any more than that. So where else would I, or part of me, place this competition with God, but to hide it in my shadow.

What a pretzel! To have both love and hate for God in the same vessel, to revere God on one hand and to need to dethrone God on the other.

The more I come to know (also a kind of quest for power), the more I must surrender to that I don’t know.

It feels to me like the Divine itself is learning the same lessons I am learning. It too has darkness and light. None of it is bad. All of it is a quest to feel, heal, learn and grow in the only true reality there is of infinite love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

Moving Beyond Self Consciousness Into Authenticity

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

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By Jelelle Awen

While we were sipping wonderful margaritas and watching the sunset last night, we engaged in one of our meaningful conversations that happens almost every minute with us within our little community (woven in between having FUN!). I think I am still digesting it this morning and would like to share.

Sequoia has known me for almost twenty five years, we were previously married and divorced in 2001, and we co-raised a daughter together. For the last four years, I have been his facilitator and teacher and also, in many moments, we share a sacred friendship too. There is a lot of history there and he has known me through so many phases. With tears in his eyes, last night he offered that he is amazed at who I am now and who I am continuing to become.

He mentioned that he can feel the range that I can inhabit in the moment….from deep soul frequencies to joyful inner child to queen (and irritated control matriarch can still come through too!). And also that I don’t seem to have any self consciousness or self image when it comes to relating with others…not much ‘persona’ that I am putting on. I could feel his sincerity and love for me as he offered this and it touched me.

But, in another way, I couldn’t really get what he was seeing about me. This isn’t a deflection based in unworthiness. It has felt to me for awhile that we can’t really ‘see’ our most authentic self (or what we call our ‘SoulFullHeart Self’) because there is no self image related to it. It just IS US in our most unselfconscious expression.

Self consciousness comes from parts of us elevating us, positioning us, and doing ‘perception management’ strategies with others. These parts of us literally create versions of us to form fit in every environment and every situation. There can be many, many layers to this and it is quite craftily constructed, even in a small child it starts happening young!

After over ten years of work and negotiation with parts of myself who hold these frequencies, I feel that much of this self image has been deconstructed, let go of, felt, healed, moved beyond. So, in some ways, I cannot ‘see’ my most authentic self, yet I can certainly feel when and if love is transacting and if part of me is blocking it or not.

To be free from self consciousness is a wonderful gift and allows me to serve love so much more deeply to myself and others. I completely associate this result because of the process that I have engaged with through a previous path and also through SoulFullHeart to be with and know my subpersonalities. We offer that this state is called “SoulFullHeartenment” and isn’t an attainment, but more like something that just arises through the process of individuation, differentiation, and union with self, others, and the Divine.

If this stirs something in you and awakens a desire to experience life this way, we would be so honored to serve that in you. Please visit this page for more about what we offer: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.