By Kalayna Colibri
Last night while witnessing the moon’s eclipse and feeling it hanging very close to my field, I was struck by a feeling of emerging sisterhood in my life and process, yet also the potential for it worldwide.
Yet… the temptation for many seems to still be that the way to unify is in anger. The way to find our common ground is to get pissed. To rage. To march. To condemn the masculine… in men yet also in each other. This is masculine versus masculine in the end, leaving the world inside and outside of us without any room for the sacred masculine AND feminine to unite and make love.
Pointing fingers, protesting, arguing without care of where and how it lands in each other is a phase of our relationship to each other that wants to move into something new. It’s a deep shadow expression of our fear of actually loving ourselves and each other. It’s a fear that the cycles of pain will continue while we continue to become a cog in the wheel, contributing to this cycle with that same fear. Real intimacy brings up a lot more than anger and push-away. It brings up tears and vulnerability, it brings up what’s underneath the rage and presses the heart to open in order to keep giving and receiving nourishment.
This picture of relationship I’m describing is not idealized or impossible… I get to live this every day, I get to be challenged by the presence of others who want to keep this flow going within themselves and with me, I get to feel and meet the challenge of continuing to move through my resistance to love and to keep letting it in… knowing full well that doing so means walking into fires of personal funeral pyres as the old way of approaching life and others passes away, and also knowing that it means getting to experience the heaven of a deeper and easier love flow than I’ve ever experienced before.
Even last night… sharing intimacy with my mate Gabriel, feeling his admiration of myself, my body, my heart and soul, I felt my admiration for his and let his male gaze into every pore. I felt so many tears come up and out like a fountain, feeling the pain of my soul and heart in relating to the masculine in ways that weren’t nourishing on either side and feeling afraid of it. Feeling the pain of a collective of women and what they’ve experienced and also the pain of the men who have not ever been initiated into how to make real love with a woman and what it feels like to be truly met or felt on their side either.
The more energy that’s spent in blame-game shaming and pushing away at each other, the less opportunities we create for the deep healing and nourishing intimacy that’s possible, that wants to bloom and blossom starting between parts of you that are polarized to each other but who want love more than anything else in this world. Starting to see and feel these dynamics within is the best and most profound way to shift what you draw in your outer relationships and what you start to see is really possible with each of them. ❤️
For support as you go into this territory and really feel how it all applies or could apply to you, my beloveds and I hold sacred session space for these explorations and more: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.