inner queen – SoulFullHeart Experience

We just completed a 5 day gathering here in Portugal with 8 very beautiful and very unique souls. A gathering that is turning out to be a Homecoming. A Homecoming to the true self, to community of heart and soul and to the Divine.

This Equinox portal is a significant one, I feel, bringing into balance what has seeked to come into balance for so long inside and out. I’m feeling so many significant movements and shifts inside of myself, big and small and everything in between.

I feel an expansion of heart and feeling of my and with my heart‘s true essence. The heart expanding to be able to let in the love that has been here all along but can only be felt now by the heart’s true essence. The heart expanding to be able to be more Love, share it and receive it. And just as I type this, the Youtube playlist the algorithm created for me based on my music preferences dials in ‘Song for a Pure Heart’ by Mei-lan.

I am seeing with new eyes as I have claimed my light, my true essence, my true self over and over again in the midst of darkness. Seeing the same things with different eyes makes the same things feel very different which is beautiful, exciting, new and trippy at times.

I see the Dark coming into balance with the Light, dancing, coalescing, flowing into and with each other. Both are needed and none of them can be denied any more, battled or resisted, just seen, felt, loved, claimed.

I am accessing my true desires and my Queen’s true frequencies that are just moving into the space now, effortlessly, gracefully, easily. No labour or self-discipline needed. Just an ongoing sorting out and through what and who I really am and what I’m not, what is of the matrix (in lack of a better description) is falling away.

I am witnessing a moving from detail to the bigger picture, from smallness to bigness, from Masculine to Feminine, from hell to heaven, from muddy and murky waters within to clarities and seeing clearly, from self-focus / self-centeredness / privacy to connection and sharing with others, leaving the necessary cocoon/incubator space to open up and unfold like a blossoming flower to share and receive.

Everything I have consciously felt over the last few years and looked at inside of myself, part after part, layer after layer, is coming together in my heart space, finding a home within, integrating and moving into a higher consciousness.

There is an opening up to and receiving of higher frequencies, wanting them, needing them, desiring them and feeling worthy of them, even as bits and pieces of unworth are still leaving my being.

It is a remembering of and homecoming to my true Feminine’s essence and embodying of it. Flow, sensuality, creativity and inspiration moving in.

A new maturity uncovered that isn’t really new, just had been covered over before, revealing patience, wisdom and a connection to a deep womb space and feminine presence.

Where we went together as a community in the gathering were the realest and most vulnerable places we have gone to so far and it felt like such nourishing food for me. I love every single soul for their brave, real and heart-felt contribution and presence. So much healing exchanged between all of us and quantumly. We need each other. I will be unpacking the gifts from this for days and weeks to come.

We will have our next gathering in December for the Winter solstice, as well as ongoingly every equinox/solstice, and are inviting souls who feel drawn to regular sessions with one of our facilitators. We could all feel ’empty’ seats in the room reserved for souls joining us in the very near future. If that is you, do get in touch with one of us and claim your seat

Love, Bey

Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant, Facilitator-In-Training, and Community Member. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org

Jelelle and Kasha building housing for the pixies

by Kalayna Colibri

Shiloh Sophia Queen of Her Own Heart.jpg

This painting is by Shiloh Sophia

I turn ’30’ tomorrow. A surreal feeling, as age and time have felt less and less important and real to me, except for those phases when it has to somehow. There are still some really important life phases and experiences that seem to happen mostly during certain ages or decades of our lives, so sometimes it IS important to acknowledge ‘age’ though I feel looser and looser about it, especially for myself.

I think I spent most of my ’20’s’ looking forward to turning ’30’. My 20’s felt awkward and strange at times. So much more self-discovery and remembrance happened during this ‘decade’ of my life than in my teenage years, though so much got started then too. Many phases of letting go, learning to let in, surrendering, hoping, wishing, losing sight of magic and wonder and then rediscovering it again, loving a man, moving through relationships, learning to love humanity again even when parts didn’t want to… this is just a taste of where I chose to go, venturing into shadow and light both and facing sometimes very, very humbling mirrors.

The ups and downs were palpable and as I reflect on them, my god, they were all so worth it to bring me HERE to this NEW place inside me that is more compassionate, more overflowing with love, more desirous of mateship inside and outside of me, more desirous to FEEL and HEAL whatever I need to no matter how challenging, and more willing to step into my destined leadership, starting within and moving without. My heart wants to BE and experience feminine stillness and also experience heart-based, vulnerable, transparent leadership happening more and more from inside of me, to serve and BE love, even when boundaries are necessary and conflicts may arise for one reason or another, all in the name of growth and letting in more and more and MORE with less and less shrinking or hiding or cloaking from parts of me who are fused to fear.

Rolling around with a part of me through reactions to ALL of this arising inside me took the place of sleep most of the night last night. In some ways it was the reactions that kept me up and yet it was also new energies coming in, or so it feels like to me now as I reflect on and feel into this all some more. I’m getting ready and being filled up and at the same time being flushed OUT. This morning has been mostly restful for me, despite any ‘plans’ I thought I had… I feel as if I’m trying to expand my container for letting in LOVE and letting it move through me in conscious transaction and relationship with others. There is so much juice coming in now, being offered to all of us actually. This juice can’t come in without us being juiced first! It can feel like a squeeze at times, as reactions surface and sometimes feel overwhelming and hard to track. Sometimes it feels to me like all I can do is surf it all and trust that as I’m feeling it, it’s also moving, and that there’s a fast track happening. I’m ON the train now, and it’s moving faster and faster.

As I enter this new ‘age’ of my life, it feels inaugural… I feel how much my inner Queen is arising now. She is waiting to be crowned at an official coronation, held inside me with guides and so, so much love. She is who I’ve been waiting and WORKING for, processing for, healing for. She is who gets to lead in my life now, more and more, as my healing continues and my persona parts of me continue to rest. She is the one ascending to her heart throne while also ascending to the throne built for her in the Universe, joining other Kings and Queens that are also showing up there more and more, leading humanity consciously and subconsciously through this phase of ascending with Gaia. She IS Mother Gaia, as we all are. She IS you just as she IS me and she also is a bridge, a platform, a ship, a rocket, a star and light BEing and leader. She is feeling her purity of heart come forward again at deeper and deeper depths as all I’ve healed and am healing helps to create her crown of jewels atop her head. She is my leader, my healer, my LOVEr living inside my heart and soul. And she is waiting along with me, helping me make room for a King to come and dance with her energy in sacred union, sacred sexuality, sacred and conscious duality, and sacred humanity.

As I find my rebirth into this new universe, I feel this birth canal that she is being pushed through by love and desire. She is responding already to what is coming and what is being asked of me and of her. We won’t be perfect together, yet there is no need for that. Many different birth canals await and that’s okay too, for the need for mess in order to grow is not foreign to me! Yet there is also harvest coming and feasts of celebration inside of myself and with others too. AND I look forward to welcoming more of ALL of our inner inter-galactic, inter-dimensional royalty, as we all reemerge and reunite in this way.

From my Queen to yours, or perhaps your King if you’re a man, thank you for being a part of what has created my journey so far. You have taught me and continue to teach me more than you could maybe be aware of really and I feel you… I honour you. I love you.

In arising and ever-flowing love,

Queen Kalayna ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.