Feeling The Fears Of Deepening Intimacy In Sacred Union

by Raphael Awen

When we hide and compartmentalize our deeper truths to ourselves and others, we are rolling a stone up a hill, that gets larger and larger with time. Eventually, that stone gives way and demolishes those compartments, and reveals much about our fears, our shadow, as well as our light.


I have found this as a pattern that has shown up in my earliest relationships this life, and also in my Metasoul family as well. It came up yesterday (again) in my deepening intimacy with Jelelle, where even the finer attempts at compartments falter sooner and sooner. Ultimately, those compartments are about the fear of intimacy, and strangely (or maybe not so), even a fear of a deepening and proven intimacy.


To a part of me and in my Metasoul, it is still like the deepening intimacy is the stone being rolled up a hill, rather than the withheld truth. Then ‘the truth’ can be used as a threat in an attempt to return back to safety, to manage the fear, which gets into control and manipulation.

I was churning on all this last night and got out of bed to digest with Yeshua and Magdalene as well, being the perfect guides for a gender and Sacred Union need. They both assured me that this is the growth edge of the masculine and feminine now to lead with their vulnerability and their truth, in that order. They were also kind of amazed that I would seek to first find that reality inside as the source of the outward manifestation, as this wasn’t the deeper conscious reality in their lifetimes here on Gaia.
They also energized so much gratitude to me for being willing to walk this out, which spoke deeply to the remorse and almost shame I felt for causing hurt or blocks to intimacy in all of my relationships, regardless of the degree.

This I feel is the new playground ‘I Am’ being invited into, one my soul has always craved and longed for – truer and truer Sacred Union within and without.

~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Beloved

By Raphael Awen

The Beloved

What prepares you for being able to bear the beloved, is bearing the longing for the beloved. Belonging is one with being in longing, that starts from you to you, and only then provides the courage to risk all going in with a beloved, for only now, do you now possess the necessary safety of something you can never lose.

What enables you to dance with the beloved, is the dance with your own heart and soul. What drew you together is sure to undergo great and fearful change. How you relate with those changes is a mirror of what’s currently true in your deepest core of knowing and feeling.

What draws your beloved to you, is the magnet of your own inner tended garden radiating through all time and space. Fearing he or she will never come is only answered by continually preparing your heart chamber and making space, like breathing, in the even greater fearful awareness that he or she is most surely approaching, everyday closer, if you’ve set this intention.

What endures and can never be lost is love, for all is love and even that which is seemingly not love, came from love, in order to magnify itself. Your journey is always and ever the greatest story of love ever told, nothing more, nothing less. We all needed to be so deep and buried in the story; so lost and ‘in-character’ role playing, so that we could ‘event’ually awaken from the charade of our character in order to return back to the charisma at the core of all universes and cells and atoms alike.

We are all being invited to bear the longing of the beloved, and to expand our capacity to know and feel love, which is never to be satisfied for long, and is sure to kill as much as it is to enliven.

I write these words in my attempt to assist you in some way to be with the longing that lives in your heart, and for myself, to be with the ever expanding longing and joys that belonging with with my beloved, moves in me.

Happy and joy filled Valentine’s Day to all beloveds, the beloved Divine, beloveds in love, beloveds in waiting, and to ‘the one’ I am delighted to call ‘mine’ – Jelelle Awen

Xo😍❤️

Raphael

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our Patreon Page to send us love in the form of money: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 🙂

Heart-warm Closure With The Men Of My ‘Past’

by Kalayna Solais

Last night before going to sleep, some really sweet energies moved through my heart space that I so wasn’t expecting, but I welcomed it all fully. I felt invited to think about the men I’ve been with or ‘almost’ been with in romantic relationships. The ones who parts of me felt rejected by for some reason, the ones who kept me in the “friend zone”. The ones I made love with or talked about making love with. The ones I wanted to marry. The one I did. The ones I “friend-zoned” and sometimes felt confused about. The handsome ones… well, they were all handsome, let’s be honest. And I loved all of them.

In all of this I felt how much I STILL love them. And a genuine appreciation for them, and whatever relationship we had or didn’t have. I learned a lot from each of them. And somehow, up until last night, parts of me and Metasoul aspects in other lifetimes too, felt primarily rejected or cast aside or ignored… or simply unworthy, not good enough, and made it seem to themselves like these patterns of “not ever” being with a deeply passionate man who can truly meet me in all ways, “stay in the room” with me, explore his King’s leading and trailing edges while I explore my Queen’s, would last forever.

There’s no romantic companion in my field at the moment. No prospects or crushes beyond the etheric ‘mate’ I can sometimes see and feel. Yet, I felt guided to keep feeling this through. And for the first time, I could see not only the gift of each of these connections I’ve had, but the gift of ME that’s come out of each of them and the ways in which they were each able to adore and love me, no matter how complicated it was or wasn’t between us on a romantic or even just a friendship level. My own Inner Masculine took notes throughout all of these connections, I’ve realized, and decided from each of them what he would take with him and what he would help me say “no” to in the future, even within him, himself, in my relationship to him as an Inner Father, Protector, and Mate too.

My personal process is so deep for me that no matter what happens in my life, I “mine” it for the golden nuggets, the exquisite diamonds, of personal growth and healing on a heart and soul level. I have looked deep into the mirrors of all of these relationships with still more layers emerging, and I’ve been willing to let that show me what the truth of ME has been throughout it all; which parts of me were hiding or activated and where/why, which Metasoul aspects were feeling the pain and the sting (and also the joy and lust) in their own timelines.

All of this exploration has been rich beyond measure and I’m still reaping the rewards of these inward journeys. It’s because of this work that I’m able to, for the very first time, HONESTLY say “I am GRATEFUL for it all… for every cut, every bruise… every loving touch, every hug and kiss… every unconscious choice and every conscious one too.” If any of these men are reading this (many of them probably won’t because I’m not connected to them anymore… but I know their Higher Selves are listening and feeling this) I want them to know how much I can feel the adoration I and parts of me have always had for them on many levels, even with the impact we had on each other and the fear-based choices that sometimes overtook the love-based ones. We’ve helped shape each other into the people we are now and I know in my soul that I needed every single one of you.

Maybe now we can move even more fully into whatever is next for all of us.

Much love to you as these Valentine’s Day energies bring out whatever you may need or want to feel through in your own romantic life or even just with regard to the Sacred Union within…

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Celebrating Sacred Union/Info About Our Next Group Transmission

By Jelelle Awen

Your loving hands bring me back to me,
my woman’s heart widens to receive and give,
in this moment between us,
in this slowly arising dawn…..
it feels new, it IS new,
Even as it is ancient too….

~ For Raphael Awen and for the possibilities inside every heart, soul, body and mind for sacred union within and with a beloved mate…..

Love,
Jelelle Awen

~

Join Raphael and I for our monthly group transmission live or to receive the recording on Saturday, October 12th at 10:00am PDT for $15 CAD donation. We will be offering teachings, meditation, and a sound healing with crystal sound healing bowls to help activate your light body, bring in any galactic/ascension codes in your ‘field’ and raise your frequency for deeper embodiment to receive inner and outer sacred union!

More information here: https://www.facebook.com/events/467546737430726/

And you can purchase here: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/group-transmission-1

Or via paypal for $15 CAD/$11 USD here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

Picture of us taken at Salt Spring Island during our recent Equinox Gathering by Saralyn Bliss

Being In My Personal ‘Intertidal Zone’

By Kalayna Solais

Spending some time with myself and my parts today, taking in the ocean and sunshine from Father Sun, walking amongst the trees, looking for owls (didn’t see one today but now I know where I can find them!), and just BEing… it’s been a ride this past month, what with the completion with Gabriel and becoming another ‘year’ older, which in this case feels like a year of deep rebirth that is only just beginning as so many phases inside of me seem to be ending.

We celebrated my ‘birthday’ last night as a community, making a delicious vegan dinner together and enjoying the time spent even though it’s understandably bittersweet for Gabriel and me at this time. I received gifts I did NOT expect even though part of me has been VERY vocal about wanting a few things lately, especially a new glass water bottle with a rose quartz in it to charge the water, and a big, beautiful tapestry that I can’t wait to find a home for as I settle into the room Gabriel will be vacating when he moves out at the end of the month.

Yeah… bittersweet. Goodness and sadness. Letting in and letting go.

Sometimes it feels as if I’m living like a starfish in an intertidal zone. Learning to breathe and live with the waves, the grief, the openings within and with others, the feeling of ALL possibilities in ALL areas of my life that seem to be offering new doors to open and walk through…

Well, isn’t this what’s true for all of us as Ascension waves move through, ignite us and activate us, then invite us to take space to integrate, to feel, to re-orient back inside after a phase of serving or grounding on the outside? Sometimes parts of you may feel a bit dried out by having to find a way through another layer of 3D conditioning or even 4D growing pains. Sometimes you may feel drenched by tidal waves of LOVE pouring in in ways you weren’t expecting or maybe even ready for. It’s all a part of the birth contractions of the NEW… what we came here to embody and inhabit on a deep level inside of us and with each other.

With much LOVE from my awakening and healing heart-space to yours… ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance Teaching & Guided Meditation

by Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

Join SoulFullHeart Teachers/Facilitators, Gabriel and Kalayna Solais, as they offer this teaching and guided meditation on connecting with your Inner Masculine/Feminine parts of you.

Your Inner Masculine and Feminine aspects may have many different ways that they express through you in your life, relationships, and even your spirituality. Connecting with these aspects is very illuminating and can help you understand why you have related to men and women the way you have, how you’ve related to your own “woman/manhood”, and why you seem to approach different aspects of life in one way versus another (i.e. you may have a more mental approach to spirituality and healing rather than an emotional/feeling-based one; you tend towards a more achievement-based approach to life rather than just being in flow with what is, etc).

Bringing these energies into more balance takes time, attention, and self-compassion and is an ongoing, ever-unfolding process.

This video was filmed at the SoulFullHeart Community House in Victoria, BC while Gabriel and Kalayna led an in-person guided meditation and sharing circle for local hearts and souls. If you are local to Victoria or will be visiting, check out the SoulFullHeart Events page: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events for more information on when the next circles will be held and what their themes will be.

***

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s Facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, emoto-spiritual teacher, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess. 

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Valentine’s Day: A Celebration Of Sacred Unions Within & With Others

By Jelelle Awen

Valentine’s Day….a celebration of romantic love, of sacred unions, of scared unions…of all unions on the scale between sacred and scared. So much LEARNING in this brave exploration with another into ALL grounds of intimacy: body, heart, mind, and soul. Such a poignant mirror into self and soul a sacred union offers us!

And, this day of love is inviting YOU to feel your inner sacred union, between your masculine and feminine INside. The beloved parts of you that want to come into union rather than war; that want to dance rather than battle; that ache to bond rather than bind.

All sacred unions with another soul begin and grow and last from the every deepening and lush grounds of our inner sacred union.

~

Raphael, beloved, so grateful for you being on this journey with me to experience inner AND outer sacred union. I am so grateful for this deepening between us that winds through various phases and stages with so often and for so many years now a grace and ease that is just stunning to me. And even the difficulties bring MORE crucial growth and self understanding.

My mind ignites in our constant conversation.

My soul awakens in the discovery of yours.

My body aches in desire in response to yours.

My heart opens in the warm bath of your love.

I love you…this day and BEyond….

Jelelle

A good day to take in our video and guided meditation about sacred union and sacred sexuality: https://youtu.be/diPaOZFiPBM

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance Guided Meditation – DAY 15: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE & RAPHAEL AWEN (VIDEO)

DAY FIFTEEN: DEEPEN 33 Day Video Series – Inner Feminine & Masculine Balance

Guided Meditation W/Jelelle & Raphael AwenThis is day fifteen of 33 in my daily video series called Deepen. Today, my beloved and SoulFullHeart Facilitator Raphael Awen joins me to talk about inner feminine and masculine balance. Raphael shares about a process that he is holding with his inner masculine and feminine parts/aspects to explore where there is more doing, linear, and power driven masculine rather than a balance of masculine energy with feminine heart presence. Jelelle shares about how this applies to the inner masculine for women (as represented by the Protector.)

Energy Update: Invitation To Connect With Divine Mother/Father Through Personal Sun Chakra

By Kalayna Colibri

Today I feel a mix of energies coming in via our Personal Sun chakras, an Ascension chakra located about a foot above our heads. When I feel and see this chakra, I feel warmth as if I am laying in the sun’s rays at the beach or in a park. I see it swirl with bright white-golden hues and other colours too. Today, it feels very bright and present, offering us downloads and activations but a way to BE with them too.

The masculine energies from Divine Father are grounding and warming today… they are offering illumination through this chakra and also a feeling of being held and protected, while also offering the wisdom of non-action unless necessary, of taking the time to be with each arising moment. This isn’t something I’ve been very good at personally, yet the desire even in my own masculine aspect named Kaius, is to be in each arising moment fully immersed and fully present in heart.

The feminine energies from Divine Mother are spacious and compassionate today… they are offering space to feel the courage and the fear that comes up too when truly seeing all possibilities for ourselves and our relationships, when truly committing to our next steps as they appear before us. She offers, as always, space to be, to feel, to let in love and let go of what isn’t love, and to begin to know the difference as experienced and expressed by our own hearts. I feel my feminine aspect, Kathleen, letting this in today. Her heart is still raw from experiencing a renewed connection with Kaius and the new possibilities for them both in relationship to each other. She is usually very oriented to my outer relationships, especially romantic ones, and she is learning to pull back inward and look to Kaius for what she would normally want from an outer romantic partner.

On that note of sharing about my inner masculine and feminine aspects, I feel how these frequencies from Divine Mother and Father today are also illuminating next steps for the inner sacred union, the one that is most important in our lives, the one that needs the most attention, compassion, and love as well as undying curiosity to keep feeling what’s happening within it. This is what shifts all outer relationships, which can feel scary but exciting, both. The possibilities for new alchemy too is strong once you feel how these two aspects are relating (or not relating) to one another.

Connecting with your own Personal Sun chakra today feels like the invitation… to feel what wants to download to you, what next steps you may need illuminated for your own inner healing process, and to just plain feel how loved you ARE, right here, right now. ❤️

Much love!

***

Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 25 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A More Feminine/Masculine Balanced Approach To Feeling: SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter (Oct 29, 2018)

It’s the release of our weekly Museletter! Offering ALL of our writings, videos, events, healing offerings, and audio blogs for the week. Go read it here!

In this issue, Jelelle Awen shares about how to digest traumas and pain through connection with your Inner Masculine aspects in ongoing negotiation with them.

“This is the approach that is the most organic blend of your feminine’s VAST capacity to hold space for feeling AND your masculine’s AMAZING ability to take action as a result of the digestion of this feeling. Once you get into this flow of more balanced approach to feeling, you experience how TRUE fulfillment and nourishment can come to you from the outside too and really be LET IN.”

We have a few new articles and audio recordings from Jelelle along with Raphael Awen, Gabriel Heartman, and Kalayna Colibri. This week’s articles including energy updates and personal process updates, as well as invitations and roadmaps into deeper ways of feeling yourself, your parts, your life.

1:1 Galactic Activation Sessions with Jelelle are now available for booking. They are a $55 USD minimum donation for 75-90min and will involve checking in with your parts and Metasoul/Galactic Aspects, helping you reunite with your Star Family, activating your Ascension Chakra vortexes, and much more… email soulfullhearts@gmail.com to book. For more information, visit: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/galacticsessions

Raphael, Jelelle and Gabriel offer 1:1 90min Bridging Sessions to help boost and digest your Ascension process and feel with you what your next steps are towards your highest timeline possibilities. These sessions are available for $55 USD minimum donation per session. More information can be found here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

We love to share our offerings with you and would enjoy receiving whatever heart donation in the form of money you feel that resonates with our offerings. You can go to our donation page for more info on how to donate: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Way of Life! If you’d like to receive these Museletters directly and automatically in your email every week, you can subscribe on our website at: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/writingmuseletters

Check out the latest Museletter here.