by Raphael Awen
When we hide and compartmentalize our deeper truths to ourselves and others, we are rolling a stone up a hill, that gets larger and larger with time. Eventually, that stone gives way and demolishes those compartments, and reveals much about our fears, our shadow, as well as our light.
I have found this as a pattern that has shown up in my earliest relationships this life, and also in my Metasoul family as well. It came up yesterday (again) in my deepening intimacy with Jelelle, where even the finer attempts at compartments falter sooner and sooner. Ultimately, those compartments are about the fear of intimacy, and strangely (or maybe not so), even a fear of a deepening and proven intimacy.
To a part of me and in my Metasoul, it is still like the deepening intimacy is the stone being rolled up a hill, rather than the withheld truth. Then ‘the truth’ can be used as a threat in an attempt to return back to safety, to manage the fear, which gets into control and manipulation.
I was churning on all this last night and got out of bed to digest with Yeshua and Magdalene as well, being the perfect guides for a gender and Sacred Union need. They both assured me that this is the growth edge of the masculine and feminine now to lead with their vulnerability and their truth, in that order. They were also kind of amazed that I would seek to first find that reality inside as the source of the outward manifestation, as this wasn’t the deeper conscious reality in their lifetimes here on Gaia.
They also energized so much gratitude to me for being willing to walk this out, which spoke deeply to the remorse and almost shame I felt for causing hurt or blocks to intimacy in all of my relationships, regardless of the degree.
This I feel is the new playground ‘I Am’ being invited into, one my soul has always craved and longed for – truer and truer Sacred Union within and without.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.