Tag: Relationships

Arising Tide of Love

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

by Sequoia Heartman

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I feel Love lapping itself upon the shores
Of my once coveted island
A time to heal the wounds of my soul’s incarnation
The outstretched arm of my heart’s protection

It does not want me to dwell in the disconnection
In the fear of unknowable rejection and consternation
It turns the comfortable into questionable
The predictable into mystical

What lies beyond what was safe?
Underneath what scares you to death?
Above the highest reaches of your passion’s imagination?
In front of the very eyes you thought you could see future with?

The tide is rising
There will be no place to hide
As if there ever was
As if I ever truly wanted to

I have a heart’s flare sent to the sky
The sparks creating an infinite blanket upon the heavens
That call to you
That light the path to our meeting place

The ending of what had been
To begin what never went away
Just hidden in the crevasses of our buried hearts
And the promise that one day we would uncover them together.

**

Sequoia Heartman is a writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Choosing From Love, To Fall In Love

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

By Leena Colibri

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This mysterious thing we call “falling in love”… what is it but a letting go into the shiny bright light ahead that seems to call, seems to light up a pathway through unknown territory, seems to warm something in the far reaches of your heart that you’d forgotten were ever there?

What else can we call the following of a heart stream that starts in a moment then trickles inward and suddenly pours over every part of us before we even know what we’ve said “yes” to?

Beyond an idea of romance that has us on our knees in ecstatic joy and wonder, this is a bigger embrace of a call that beckons us onward at an as yet un-lived-in pace for in the foreground of our lives we have only settled for the crumbs of what I can only call “the real thing”. Once we have tasted that tender morsel of what truly makes our hearts beam with wonder, awe and reverence, we cannot turn away, we cannot opt out, we cannot fully return to that cave from whence we came.

It is an impossibility to behold the full intrusion of love’s infusion if we do not fall in love all at once and with a perseverance that we can only truly know from our own love lights answering to those of others up ahead of us.

This is what it means to really love and be loved. This is what it feels like to be held in and led by love. This is what it feels like to say “yes” to ourselves and our transformation. This…is where all our choices should come from, and where our choosing will always be challenged to come from. This is what it feels like to truly live – to know that love is always at your side, bellowing from the other side, and beckoning you homeward.

If you can feel all of this… welcome home, for this is where your truest heart rests even in its insatiable restlessness of always wanting more and more. If you cannot in this moment feel any of this… perhaps your heart is asking for more of you to reside inside it, to know it, revere it, honour it, remember it… once again and maybe, this time, for always.

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

Feeling Our Relationships And Our Ascension

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

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By Leena Colibri

 

Starting in recent weeks, every night has carried with it an intensity in my heart, energetic field and body. I feel as if I am surrounded. I dream very intense, very real-feeling dreams. I also feel energies moving up and down my body, both on the inside and outside. My sleep is often interrupted as these energies move through and there is a feeling of my bedroom being very full of beings, energetics, shapes, colours, and the imprints of the dreams I’ve been having that feel more like walking something out than anything intangible. I don’t always remember every detail, but I do keep the feeling of it all within me, and quite often, as I do right now, I feel “cleaned out” by morning somehow.

I remember having a dream last night that felt personal and global. I was moving through a romantic relationship that wasn’t deep but for part of me was “enough” simply because he gave me “just” enough attention and affection. I was in the process of leaving the bond because I had plans to move somewhere far away and we knew we wouldn’t be able to continue our relationship. At the last minute though, I wanted to change my mind about leaving, even though my gut and heart both said that I actually wasn’t deeply satisfied by this bond anyways and was actually ready to move on from it. It felt as if I was trying to deny my destiny. When I tried to tell him about changing my mind and wanting to stay with him, he had already detached from me and I was already fading from his life and awareness. Just before I woke up I had been trying desperately to get his attention again. This feels like a pattern I’ve lived out in a few relationships but also, it feels like this is what is happening or about to happen in relationships of all kinds. We are entering a time during our ascension as a species, where relationships of all kinds will be challenged. Letting go with full hearts and appreciation for what was is what’s being asked of us now even as we also learn to be with ourselves in the grief and pain of separation. We can never truly be separate and whatever is real between souls and hearts cannot disappear forever, but not everyone or everything will be able to come with us on our very personal, yet somehow deeply connected, journeys of healing Ascension.

Relationships are a major thing for us as humans. We are meant to be social and for many of us, our hearts consciously long for community and of course, deep romantic love. Each and every tie we have to a person or even a habit or animal or object is something to feel into now as we continue our process of purification and remembering who we really are as part of Infinite Love. There is no end point to the Ascension journey but there seem to be specific markers that guide our way. Feeling any restlessness or doubt in our relationships or maybe even body symptoms when we are around certain people are very strong indicators that we should consider reevaluating and feeling what it is we really want to experience inside relationship with others. Many of us will be challenged with having to move through layers of doubts around our own self-worth and even the beauty of our essence. Letting these doubts surface and making space to feel them is sacred as it aids us in our forward movements that bring us healing and help us move out of 3D consciousness.

There is an invitation that I feel with softness in my heart as I bring this to you. The shifting times we are living in do not promise an easy ride, though they do want us to feel where the letting go is most difficult for us. It often is not a simple process, as I’ve experienced myself. The more aligned we become in relationship to ourselves, however, the easier it is to see and feel what a truly sacred relationship is and we can begin to draw those who are our true soul family and soul mates. Nothing anchors our healing and ascension more than having loving, non-codependent support around us.

 

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Heart And Soul Recovery After Relationship Completions

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Your heart will recover. It cannot really break, only gets bent, only gets cleansed, only gets reminded. The reminders can be painful, sometimes the most very effective ones are the most painful. The reminder is of your worth, your goodness, your true essence. The reminder is that you are so much more than you have settled for…if you have settled.

If you have settled and are on a consciousness path, you can trust that whatever happens is a mirror and is for your own growth. It is a way for you to see that which you have settled for and invite you into so much MORE.

The so much more is found within you. The so much more becomes available as you let go of what is less. The so much more becomes available as you discover and love aspects of you that broadcast pain, unworthiness, doubt, and fear. The so much more becomes available as you collect fragments of your soul that are spread over eras and dimensions living out realties from many different levels of consciousness.

Your soul will recover too. It cannot really be defeated, only gets woken up, only gets recharged, only gets realigned. The realignment can be difficult, sometimes the deepest realignment brings the most awakening. If you are in a place of shrinking your soul in some way in your relationships, in your career, in your geography, in your physical health, in your emotional healing, in your spiritual growth….the realignment comes as a gift from your higher self, the Divine within and with-out.

You will wake up and it feel that it just isn’t enough anymore, maybe you do already. You move from suffering into love. You move from being motivated by suffering to being motivated by love. Your desire for more love and less shrinking moves you into new inner terrains, inner unknown places, inner vistas and avenues.

You realize that everything you experience in your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Your soul remembers this is true even as you heart always knew. Setting boundaries, letting go, moving on…you seem to say more ‘no’ than ‘yes’ in this phase as you move out of 3D consciousness and into 4D and 5D.

You start vibrating higher, faster, brighter. Your radiance is beaconing out to others as you discover the radiance from within that is released as you get to know and love the previously unlovable inside of you. Your sense of self love and goodness is becoming unconditional. You feel this form within and so your relationships reflect and transact this more and more.

In this growing sense of center and of self, you somehow feel more sense of connection with everyone and less separation. Your individuation has brought you the gift of Oneness. You maturation has given you the sense of union. As you feel inside, so you feel about the outside. Your inner union has delivered you to union with others.

You will more than recover; you are recovered already. You are whole already, even when part of you feels broken. You are whole as you ARE even as you discover more and more because the possibilities are as infinite as you ARE.

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher into 5D consciousness, Divine guide-scribe, and co-creator/teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Making Heart Room For Your Mate To Enter Your Life

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Raphael and Jelelle Awen

I felt him before we were together. I could lay in my bed and feel his arms around me, sense his heart beat flowing along to mine. I had conversations with him that were so provoking, the deepest of context, the most enlivening of content. My laughs responded to his smile, his wit, his humour with absolutely no meanness. All of his passionate energy focused on me, I unfolded in his arms and in his heart gaze, over and over returning to the essence of me through what he could see.

This is how it felt for me even before Raphael and I began dating each other eight and half years ago. Many nights before we went on our first date, I could feel his energy in my field as my ‘next and probably most important mate’. I didn’t know that it was him specifically but feeling into it now, it is so clear that it WAS him. And similar to how a pregnant mother begins building a nest for her new baby, I started to build a nest in my heart and in my life getting ready for him.

This all feels so romantic, this story of falling in love and being in love and arising in love, even many ‘years’ later still we are falling in love together. And, it is, yes, romantic. Yet, also, love like this with what is truly your heart, soul, and body mate is a challenging crucible. Often when this kind of love enters your life, much has to be let go of in order to let it in. All the furniture of your old life gets rearranged in rapid fire. Relationships get sorted out fast. How are you are going to let this intense new energy into your life? How are you going to make room? What fits with this soaring new enlivening, heart opening, and soul expanding frequencies and what doesn’t?

For example, within weeks of starting to date each other, Raphael and I experienced the collapse of the spiritual practice, paradigm, and group that we had been deeply involved with for many years and within which we met each other. I was a facilitator of this work for years, deeply committed to my process as was Raphael. And then, we were challenged to choose our new emerging love over that which we had previously placed our devotion, the group.

The choice was easy in one way as my heart and soul just knew there was no going back out of this kind of love. A love I had been wanting for so very long. So, I said ‘yes’ even without knowing if it would continue to open out between Raphael and I. All of the people in the group, my deepest and closest soul family at the time, no longer would be in relationship with me, so I had to let go overnight of so many previously very meaningful connections…..and of the paradigm and process which had felt like my soul purpose path. The heartbreak of this spiraled me into a dark night of the soul where I literally felt like I was splintering into many pieces, going crazy, and the only heartrails I could feel were the incredibly touching love with Raphael and a supportive frequency of support from the Divine.

Many other shifts and changes have come and been chosen over the years, catalyzed by the love that moves between Raphael and I. Geography, relationships, money earning, belief systems…we have let it ALL go many times over the years. Yet, we have always let go of it together. And, in some moments, we have uncomfortably held the possibility that our union too is complete and that we need to let go of it. Always our own individual growth is primary and comes first. Fortunately, so far, our togetherness has served our growth and so we keep on finding our way together.

My heart is opening in this moment in large part because of what I experience with Raphael on a daily basis. We are two individuals, yes, and we are also within a union of feminine and masculine. This, I believe, is truly possible for anyone who is awakening and healing their heart and soul woundings to open their capacity to give and receive love. This process sends your beacon out into the world, which your mate hears and feels.

I do believe mates are ‘already within each other’ as the poet Rumi offers. So it is inevitable that yours will find you and you will find them. And, most likely, your life will change in very significant ways once you do. In the meantime, you can prepare your heart and soul through truly getting to know yourself. Building your nest out of self love and beaconing your heart out to the world. Letting go already of that which does not serve the Infinite Love in sacred human expression that you ARE in preparation for the stunning reflection of your bigness that is to come.

Jelelle Awen is an ascending teacher, Divine scribe, and co-creator-teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

 

Awaken To The Universe Within And Remember The Infinite Love That You ARE

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Words are finding me this week. Words to match energies that are flowing strong after going inward to discover and integrate more of my essence, more of my inner wisdom, more my soul’s expressions that span no ‘time’ or fixed place. I have been ‘picking up’ pieces of my soul and human fragments for many years and recently the depth of breadth of this has expanded even more into the galactic realms. The biggest shift has been a sense of how it ALL originates from within and a deepening of looking inward rather than ‘out there’ for answers.

Validation for me over the years has primarily come from within and what I can viscerally experience for myself. Sometimes, then, too, I go looking for information to validate the experience, but usually I don’t as it isn’t the mental body that is leading here, but intuitive and heart-based wisdom. I am feeling how the energies that I have called ‘guides’ in the past have all been aspects of me and I am now embracing them as such. A star being named Binkh, I am now feeling is my star seed self, Archturian, and connecting with her is giving me access to a much expanded consciousness where time and space do not exist, my galactic roots, healing of trauma from being ‘abducted’, etc.

I have a relationship with her in a dualistic sense and I also AM her as well. I feel that eventually her energies will integrate into me, influencing and changing my outer personality to inhabit even more of my higher or Divine self. What I have experienced as Divine Mother and Divine Feminine frequencies in the past, such as Magdalene, Kuan Yin, Kali, Cassandra, etc. have been integrating into me since 2010 when I was reiki attuned. I felt them as ‘guides’ and as the ‘Divine’ and, yet, also, they were aspects of my soul frequencies or Metasoul. They are also archetypal, meaning available for all and living within the collective unconscious (more on all of this in future posts.)

As always, this personal shift also flows into what I lead and teach through SoulFullHeart, which is a fluid process and energy that shifts with every consciousness that puts their personal love, attention, and consciousness to it. More on that to come too and on our website atsoulfullheartwayoflife.com.

My growing sense is the importance of the journey within, the journey to remember who we ARE as Infinite Love, to awaken the Universes that live inside of us, and to continue serving love in whatever forms call to us.

These are the words that have come this week to me in various blog articles, all of which are posted at soulfullheartblog.com:

Embracing and Healing Our Fears To Embrace More 5D Consciousness:https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/embracing-our-fears-to-exp…/

Navigating This Time Of Transition From 3D to 4D Consciousness:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/navigating-this-time-of-tr…/

It All Comes From Within:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/15/it-all-comes-from-within/

Arrival Movies Offer Profound Messages Of Alien Communciation And Consciousness:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/arrival-offers-profound-me…/

Experiencing Shifts From The Third To Fourth Dimensions:
https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/experiencing-shifts-from-t…/

Jelelle Awen is co-creator, teacher, and writer at SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

 

Surrendering to Love as a Daily Practice

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

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By Leena Colibri

 

What is love asking you to surrender to today?

Sometimes it can feel hard to digest that every relationship, work opportunity, or life-changing event is actually an invitation from love to feel ourselves from a new place inside. Sometimes life takes us by surprise and suddenly we’re in the middle of a catalytic course of changes we never could have guessed were coming.

I’m feeling today the ways in which I’m still working on this skill of surrendering to invitations into new places of growth and healing. They aren’t always easy to navigate, especially without help. I’m also feeling how in those moments when we lack surrender, we are given the best roadmaps into ourselves.

You and I…we are universes. We are constantly shifting, changing, adapting and growing. We are having to let even our most constant and age-old stars fade out and die away. We are learning how to adjust our own conditions to allow new life to spring forth and move us onward. Even universes have to surrender to the cycles of life and the winds of love…

If you are interested in having help and taking along a mirror of love for your own journey into deeper surrender to love itself, please visitwww.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

 

**

Leena Colibri is a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Feeling Our Authentic Loneliness

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

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By Leena Colibri

 

Authentic loneliness is more powerful than settling for false company.

Having a solid relationship with ourselves begins by being okay with being alone for necessary phases of time. It doesn’t have to feel okay to every part of us though…some parts are used to reaching out to others outside ourselves for comfort, reassurance, validation, security. On the other side of the coin, some parts would rather be alone, feeling the strain of a social life that they can’t truly land in and be a part of authentically, and where they and other parts often get buried because what they feel isn’t deemed “okay”. This is what makes us all unique mosaics of emotions and reactions. It is what brings us into processes where we get to feel and sort through it all if we choose to, helping us move on to the next phase of our lives, perhaps without as much reaction and with a full-hearted strength that we could never have thought possible.

Our loneliness feels like a huge gift to me, if we can truly feel it and be with it…in being with it, we get to feel our uniqueness, our need and desire for more solidity inside ourselves, and our needs and desires for what we truly want in relationship with others (not just what we’ve been okay with up ’til now).

Loneliness, like any other emotion that carries the label of being “negative” and something that should be avoided at all costs, seems to actually have the power to change our lives for the better and bring us into landscapes of deep healing and growth if we can just let it in and fully feel it…

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Leena Colibri is a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

 

 

A Wrap-Up

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

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By Leena Colibri

 

When it’s not a game anymore.
When the pieces have fallen out of place
And out of reach…

 

When the tides turn red and violet
With desire and spirituality
Both
That will be when I surf
Those waves of radical, changing material.

 

That will be when you can catch me
Turning to you
Within me
Within you.

 

I went to that place today… You know the one.

 

The question marks fall from your mouth
As you realize what you see
Is not what you hear In the furnace that burns
Inside your head.

 

Experience will teach
Will scar
Will tattoo
And I will be there to bring it all back inward
To a place where I can digest it

 

And you are welcome to the party
As usual
Whenever it comes to you
On feeling winds
That blow down your carefully placed
House of cards.

 

I don’t know if you’ll know me
When this phase is through,
But I do know
That the truth…
It lingers on and comes back.

 

I may not come back.

 

But rest assured I didn’t open you up for nothing…

 

Did you?

 

 
 
**

 Leena Colibri is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Healing to Healthy, Conscious Mate Ache

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

By Sequoia Heartman

In the moment I feel lonely. This is true even as I have my soul family with me, an arising and strengthening relationship with myself and my parts, and a sacred beautiful connection to the Divine in both its masculine and feminine energies. I have what many souls are longing for, yet haven’t been willing or able to actually feel it. So, I am far from complaining. I feel blessed and gracious. But my heart and soul is missing something big. A mate to share it with. The other half of my other half.

Reflecting back on my romantic life, I can’t really remember healthfully and consciously aching for romance. In high school I wanted to be like the other cool guys and have a girlfriend. It was, for a part of me, a status symbol in a way. It was also a way for this part to feel worthy about himself even though the relationship itself was full of unworthiness. Love took me by surprise in college when I met my ex-wife Jillian (now Jelelle). Parts of me resisted, as it was such a different kind of love that I had ever experienced, but the depth and sacredness of it won out. After our marriage completed, my next relationship was in response to feeling depressed, not a desire for true love. So I drew a depressed mate. I’m sure you can guess how that went. After that, I was out of the romance business for a good seven years while raising my daughter.

When she moved to Canada I had a desire to date again, but it wasn’t that deep ache for courtship. I had a sexual affair that turned into a year long relationship. I wasn’t in love and needed to be honest with that. When that ended, I began to wonder if I needed to have more of a relationship with myself, but again became surprised by a younger woman from Canada. For those of you who have read my blogs, you know that to be Kathleen, and the history of our time together is well documented on this blog.

I recount my past to remind me of how I have related to romance compared to what I feel now. It has been some time since my last incarnation with Kathleen. Through all that time I have been healing my way to a more grounded sense of Self. But I had to go to the wounds. The mom wounds, the dad wounds, past relationship wounds, and past life wounds. From there I began to ask the questions who am I really and what do I really want? When I started to feel the edges of those answers, a sense of self-awareness and self-love took shape. When I began to fill my own cup with the help of Jillian, Wayne, and Divine Love, I started to feel a missing piece. But the missing piece wasn’t me. I used to identify with the missing and I felt void. Unloved. Unworthy. Now I feel the piece that is me. That has always been there, but I just couldn’t feel. So when I say I am lonely, I don’t feel alone. Now I feel the desire. The desire for the yin to my yang. The queen to my king. The peanut butter to my jelly. I feel it in a way that is healthy and conscious. I couldn’t have done that without healing my way there.

Now, the irony is that while I have found my mate ache, I have found it while living on a remote, off-grid ranch in Mexico. A part of me could list all the reasons why it feels almost impossible that I could find a mate. But those only serve to leave me in a suffering loop about it, a piece I am trying hard to heal. There are a lot of criterion for a woman to resonate with. Collapse, dirt, work, heat, vulnerability, parts work, past lives, leadership, community, limited technology, gardening, gift economy vs. fiat currency, lots of sex, curiosity, conversation, cob housing, occasional impassable river, rain, sun, seeing the context to the content, connection with the Divine, Sunday circles, energy healing, creative vegetarian cooking, horses, bugs, sheep, dogs, mangoes, bananas, limes, lemons, papaya, noni, moringa, neem, laughing, crying, conflicting, hugging, cuddling, walking, praying, building, watering, and above all…loving. But one thing is for certain, if she does, then I can honestly say she may be the one.

I realize this is starting to sound like a dating site profile. So be it. In the age of collapse, what isn’t truly you gets burned away and the really important things become much clearer. There isn’t much time to play hide and seek from each other. My heart aches for her and for the love she holds. I can feel her, but cannot touch her. I can talk to her, but I cannot hear her. I can imagine her, but it isn’t enough. When I feel all that, there is a pain. A pain that is unfulfilled desire. I let it come through me. I don’t deny it. My eyes fill with tears and I cry. For as long as I need to. Sometimes for a brief moment, sometimes for several minutes. I feel lonely and sad, yet I am held in it. Held by the Divine, my own self-worth, and the knowing that I have love, just in a different form. The ache moves through me, I dry my eyes and continue through my day with my desire still in tact, a bit stronger than it was before.

I don’t know when it will happen. I don’t know if it will happen. Not even the Divine can tell me that. All I can do is feel it, express it, and send it out to the universe. It is not a passive place of waiting, but an active vibration that I emit and respond to possibilities. This article is one of them. Who knows where it lands. It is like the proverbial message in a bottle, cast in the ocean of Love to see if it lands on the shore of another heart. In the meantime, I continue to build my cob home, help to tend the gardens, and heal more of what still needs to heal in my heart and soul. It’s a pretty damn good life. But it could get infinitely better.

I can be reached through the SoulFullHeart website or email at soulfullhearts@gmail.com if you know anyone that resonates with my call. Thank you for taking in my writing.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit the SoulFullHeart website for more information and connection.