Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
“It’s October 2019 and I’m spinning, whirling, wondering what’s really going on within me, why I can’t seem to help parts of me truly let go of comparison, of feeling ungraceful and ungrateful, of feeling unworthy of the love of my intimate community, let alone the love of the Divine within and around me. I’ve been asked to take space from my community of beloveds to go into and reconcile what has continually been coming up inside of me and not yet been truly held, let alone felt, by me as a centred, adult woman, who is calling herself ‘Kalayna’.
I am in a panic, feeling an avalanche of self-doubt and absolute heartbreak, knowing that this space-taking is likely leading to leaving my beloveds for at least a phase, if not the rest of this lifetime, if I can’t find my way into more of my own bigness and inner ‘home’. I feel the love that would always flow between us as souls, even if I need to go off and be with myself to reconcile something quite deep in my own shadow that they can’t be impacted by so harshly anymore.
I am in some deep self-punishment and shame, but also recognize after years of this inner work, that this pattern of suffering is keeping me from experiencing the depth of love I really want and need within… a depth of love that can then overflow to others with more grace and ease, even in the messiest of conflicts or the burning up of old relational ground.
As I lean into myself more and more each day, and feel the Divine within supporting my ongoing process, I begin to open out something so deeply ingrained in my inner shadowland. I find an aspect who calls himself ‘Hades’. Hades doesn’t care much for others, let alone other parts of me. Well, he does, but his care is complicated as it involves trauma-bonding with these other parts, making them need him somehow and find comfort in his more twisted way of feeling things, his way of making the uncomfortable, the suffering loops, feel somehow ‘normal’ and even necessary.
It turns out that Hades is one aspect while there are a few others for me to feel, and that he is the Gatekeeper holding the veil to feeling them. I begin to feel them all, one by one, and where they live in my Metasoul and my being in this life too. I feel patterns of being a scorned priestess, even a Queen who couldn’t make it work and was shunned, and a few different lifetimes of not quite being able to get up and out of a fear of my/their own bigness and power and truly live into it. I feel the pain of these aspects and how fusing to them has played out in my life many times. I also feel the frequency of having killed others for the sake of power and jealousy… something that is excruciating for me to feel.
I feel how humble I’m becoming as I feel all of this and how I’m learning to surrender to my own unknown inside of myself… how I just can’t know what the Divine truly wants me to do or become. Even as I surrender to the unknown however, I begin to feel clearer and clearer about the energies I am learning to love inside of me and what my true potential is.
It takes me a few months to truly live into this daily healing journey of diving deeply and even finding a renewed sense of joy, all while still showing up for daily life and holding jobs. I still miss my beloveds so deeply, especially as I go on to spend Christmas alone, but I feel my icebergs that were once parked in my shadowland melting day by day and my growing clarity about what I want in my life and the sort of soul family energies I want to be intimate with on the outside coming up so strongly. I also feel who I want to BE as I let in those energies and relationships and the ache for living into that from the inside out.” ~ Kalayna
It’s now 3 years later and here I am, as ‘Kasha’ and no longer ‘Kalayna’, having graduated not only that heartbreaking and heart-opening phase of my life, but also several other challenging and growthful phases in different geographies, different relationships, and in service of love expression too. All because I’ve been willing, even through deep pain, to go into my shadowland AND work my way through to the other side.
It is a huge honour to now be leading a women’s call with Jelelle that will focus on shadow exploration for the feminine… serving alongside Jelelle was always the dream and even as this was starting to happen back in 2019 with the very first women’s call we ever led together, I could barely let that in. I had so much pain and unworthiness come up that it was sabotaged… my dream was sabotaged. My shadow came up to be felt and when she came up, she was practically screaming with frustration, mostly at herself.
As we explore the feminine shadow, there’s so much power packed in there. There’s so much to these energies of self-punishment, shame, and blame, that actually wants to become the flip side of that… that actually wants to become genuine heart-based service of love within and without and wants to have nourishing relationships as much on the inside as on the outside.
The feminine shadow has a LOT to unpack, not just in these trailing-edge energies that can keep us in smallness and pain, but also in leading-edge energies, access to feminine magic and alchemy, not to mention DEEP access to discernment, clarity, and care.
Join Jelelle and I on Sunday, Oct 30th for a by-donation women’s group call, focused on discovering and feeling your Shadow Feminine, however she shows up now! The call will be at 5pm London/Lisbon time and you can donate via our Shop or through PayPal or via Wise (formerly TransferWise). You can find more info about this call here.
Sending so much love to you and your ‘shadow’, your hidden seats and seeds of empowerment and heart, even if there is also pain and ache to wade through and feel along the way!
Love, Kasha
***
Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
You can’t truly come ‘home’ to yourself, your soul, in a whole NEW way unless you leave the ‘home’ you’ve known. The ‘home’ that has so often felt both comfortable and uncomfortable. The nest that has become prickly in order to help you find your wings and take flight into the higher dimensions you’re meant to be and truly LIVE in… in your relationships, in your money-earning/exchange with the world, in your soul purpose expression, in your soul family connections, and in your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental bodies too.
Letting go to let in is a very real and ongoing process and it’s so often NOT easy to be with. It’s very sobering to suddenly realize that your soul is feeling more and more ready to say ‘yes’ to the alive choice points in front of you, which may involve saying ‘no’ to something that was once very precious to you.
For me, that’s been the process of letting go of my sacred union with Gabriel, grieving a ground that was once good but needed to dissolve for both our sakes and for the sake of our deepest growth and needs. This is the recent process of letting go into the unknown for me, yet over the last decade of my life this has meant saying ‘goodbye’ to birth family connections that no longer had a ground of shared resonance, same thing with old friendships… not to mention different geographies that once held the frequency of ‘home’.
Letting go requires a lot of courage for you and parts of you, as it asks you to enter the void of the unknown for a time… but the inward-turning of that phase is so sacred, I’ve found. It’s a time of true death and rebirth as you continue to rediscover yourself without the anchors that shifted at some point from healthily grounding to now being dampening. Maybe in some ways they were always dampening, actually… yet to begin to recognize this pattern too takes so much courage in and of itself, and so much readiness from the parts of you who have been afraid to imagine, let alone begin to see or be guided by, anything else that could be possible.
I’ve found that the ‘void’ space in between the letting go and letting in is full of grief, yet also full of every gift that comes with truly feeling that grief. It is filled by creativity, by a new sense of you, by a blossoming flower garden within you that is being watered by every tear you shed and by the love within you and with the Divine that answers that grief.
May you feel so much love surrounding and moving with you as you continue your own journey of letting go, of moving onward by going inward…
Love,
Kasha
***
Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Through being born into this Matrix, we are taught to be concerned, always, with the opinions that surround us. We end up scattered, shattered, divided inside. This division has created ‘parts’ that formed in response to this mandate to always look outside of us for answers, for the modeling of ‘best behaviours’, for learning how to be compliant or even how to rebel properly, and certainly for any sense of ‘home’, belonging, or reconnection with the Divine.
It has been such a huge part of my personal process over this last decade to truly bring ALL of that back inward, to follow the threads of pain that have led to parts of me, and to then untangle those threads from other parts and find integration over time. These pain threads have been complex, not straight forward, and also have been co-created and maintained by outer relationships, jobs, etc. They have also been tugged on and at times entangled with the threads within others and their own parts, making the sorting out a process of what’s mine and what’s someone else’s quite messy in moments.
The only way I’ve been able to deeply address and heal the pain and parts has been by bringing them back inward, to my own heart, to the home/nest I’ve been creating and cultivating there for so long, which now also overflows to others in 1:1 sessions as I hold space for other women’s own parts to come forward and their own inner ‘homes’ to be created.
There is always an invitation to create this inner heart and soul home inside of you and so much support being offered for that from the Divine within you, from your Metasoul aspects, from Star Family, even from all the beings in your inner world also known as ‘parts of you’ – though many of them may have a really hard time letting in that this home within is even possible at first, as they’ve had to have so much outer focus for so long.
The codes of Homecoming that are steaming in these days are an opportunity to re-code what it means to truly take care of yourself, your body, your emotional and spiritual realities, and not only within you… they are also supporting you to draw to you those resonant relationships you’ve maybe only dreamed of, or only experienced virtually so far. If there’s a resistance or reluctance in your heart toward truly embracing your beloved online relationships in the physical, there are very likely some parts of you that feel afraid perhaps of the cost to your life as you’ve known it… for nothing ever changes us like letting love in, especially love for ourselves and especially, also, saying ‘yes’ to love’s flow as it moves between us and others in ways unpredictable.
My beloveds, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be leading a group call this coming Sunday, Oct 16th, that will be focused on these Homecoming Codes – letting them in, feeling what they mean for you personally, and connecting to your inner ‘home’ in a deepening way. The call will be by donation as always, and held over Zoom. If you’d like more info, visit soulfullheart.org/events.
So much love to you and with you as you feel into these Homecoming Codes and what they mean to you at this time!
Love,
Kasha
***
Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
As we wind down into fall energies and the summer stirrings in our hearts and bodies wind down as well, we’re invited to find home within in a whole new way. It’s a time of inner re-balancing, finding some stability, some way of creating an inner nest where your parts and soul aspects can rest. No matter what has been stirred up for you, supported by cosmic alignments or soul readjustments, now is a time of resettling inside so that you can find a way to come back home to yourself… no matter what or who you’ve been responding to on the outside, whatever has been collapsing or coming alive in your life, or where your relationships seem to be going or not.
Between the letting go of my sacred union romance several months ago and the letting in of sacred sisterhood at new levels of depth and resonance, I’ve been feeling an ongoing need and desire to be in response from the heart of my womb, my Queen, my alchemical feminine essence, to everything that needs that…even my young cat! I feel the dance of being in my mid-30s, the letting go of a level of youngness in order to let in even more maturation. I feel my body changing and my heart changing too. I feel my soul leading me in directions that are surprising at times. I feel myself in service of love in new ways throughout all of this, claiming a deep love and appreciation of myself that can overflow so much more to others. Throughout all of these shifts and the new data that I’m embracing about myself, I feel like my inner homestead is being rebuilt and expanding too. This summer has truly been about inner renovation and renewal for me, and I’m not the only one!
In my soul sisters who I serve in sessions and who I’m in intimate relationship with here in Portugal, I feel and see similar shifts and changes. It’s like as women especially, we’re all being invited to create a new nest inside, to birth the new that wants to come from us, whether it’s a renewal of who we thought we were and experienced ourselves to be, or a renewed way of being in life and in response to love – or everything all at once! The need for women to step up to discover and claim everything about themselves, shadow and light aspects, all sorts of parts at play, creates this need for a more expansive inner ‘home’ to come back to and ground into within.
The fall energies and the shift to go back inward is real and sometimes intense, yet good when deeply surrendered to. It’s in this surrender that we find and feel the Divine within in what can feel like brand new and surprising ways. It’s in this surrender that we can truly align with our Divine creativity, our alchemy, our personal way of being love in all the moments we have on this planet… in the full-range expression of that love, which can be challenging but also gentle.
Here’s a guided meditation I created recently, to support your process of creating a home or ‘Safe Haven’ within: https://youtu.be/VNg8D7Hq7dw
Many blessings and so much love to you as you continue your journey through these early fall energies and bring everything back inward to your heart and the love that you are!
Love,
Kasha
***
Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Kings on the outside are returning to themselves. Men are awakening to their masculine core essences. They’re playing in the polarities they need to in order to discover themselves anew and reclaim their Kingship. There’s a lot to this process for the masculine that we as feminines can’t totally understand, except we ARE afforded a portal of some understanding through feeling our own inner masculine aspects/parts, who are in a similar process at times.
Actually, the feminine equivalent of this process for men is a reclaiming of our Queen. She is an energy of benevolence but also has deep pain and often quite the missing of an authentic masculine counterpart – a King – in order to truly experience herself AS a Queen. Yes, I AM saying that as women we do need the masculine in our lives, in our hearts, in our bodies… as beautiful and necessary as our independence also is.
Enter now the process of feeling your inner masculine, or you could say, your inner King. This process now offers a way for your Queen to show up in relationship to a King energy, even if it’s polarized for a while as the aches and pains of want, desire, and deep hurt now surface more so than they could have before.
Having recently been in a long term Sacred Union bond, I can say without hesitation that my Queen got to blossom because of relating to the masculine on the outside. Also though, I couldn’t have drawn this opportunity without first having had a lot of process ground with masculine energies inside of me. I’ve experienced and felt the polarized reactions in the inner world… the hesitations and hang-ups, the love and the fighting for more love. Even today I feel there’s some tension in moments between my masculine and feminine energies, yet most of the time it feels like there’s more harmony and understanding there, more feeling of each other, and more overall unity/oneness.
I so deeply welcome you to join me and Jelelle Awen as we co-lead an upcoming women’s call focused on this process of feeling your inner masculine! It’s by donation and if you can’t attend live you’ll receive the recording, though I highly recommend coming live if you can as the womb room we create together as a group is always warm and inviting!
You can donate by visiting our shop here: soulfullheart.org/shop or via PayPal: paypal.me/jelelleawen
I’ll include the call description below so you can take in some more details about where we’re going with this one.
Love,
Kasha ♥️
~
Description:
The Inner Masculine within a woman has many different expressions as a very sacred part/energy of our inner worlds. This range of expression can move from highly protective, fatherly energies that can be punishing to more of an ‘ideal masculine mate’ in pursuit of the feminine. The inner masculine is an aspect/part that helps women navigate the patriarchal frequencies of the Matrix in whatever ways he feels are necessary. This can sometimes bring out something overbearing in him, though he can also feel quite defeated and deflated too, especially if he hasn’t been able to help or offer support in the way he’d most like to, or helped you/parts of you avoid difficult or dark situations.
Having an intimate relationship with your Inner Masculine as a woman, whether you are single or in union with a mate, helps to illuminate your relationship to the Divine Masculine/Father expressions of the Divine. You can get a sense then of why you may feel blocked to letting them in as well as why there may be a pattern of difficult or even non-existent relationships with men on the outside. Connecting deeply with the Inner Masculine offers us (and them) so many layers of healing from the impact of other men, whether mates, fathers or other authority figures, which eventually and ideally leads to a deep forgiveness that makes room for a whole NEW experience of the masculine inside and out.
In a two-hour women’s group call on Sunday, September 18th at 5:00/17:00pm WEST (Lisbon/London)/12:00pm EDT/9:00am PDT, SoulFullHeart Sacred Feminine Teachers and Facilitators Jelelle Awen and Kasha Rokshana will explore connecting with the Inner Masculine through sharing our personal journeys and also experiences in supporting women through our SoulFullHeart quantum healing process. We will share about how through a personal relationship with your Inner Masculine, you will also come to know your feminine parts/aspects in a whole new way and on a new ground of beginning or deepening your Inner Sacred Union, which moves between your masculine and feminine parts, as well.
During this call, we will co-lead a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Masculine with the support of Divine Masculine guides, who will help hold space for this exploration and invite your masculine part(s) into a nourishing and empowering energy where they can be real and even vulnerable. You will meet with your Inner Masculine however he is expressing at this time, and feel into the relationship he currently has with your feminine parts. We will also repeat affirmations as mantras together to recode our relationships between us and our Inner Masculine individually and together as women.
***
Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
I don’t know if there’s anything more complicated than our souls’ love for the Divine. It leads us to such intense places within and outside of us. It brings us to new highs and unfathomable lows…
It inspires us to pick up where ‘we’ left off in other lifetimes, pursuing justice, pursuing love, pursuing some validation of our faith that’s maybe been lost or buried, for the sake of our soul aspects who just want the world to feel safe again… safe enough to actually feel the Divine again, to reclaim our Divine son or daughter-ship fully without fear of being persecuted for that devotion, love, and need of the Divine.
I feel the truth of this for my own soul and what it’s taken in this lifetime alone to really reclaim my Divine Daughter essence who is so deeply devoted to the Divine within her and in the world around her. I feel how much my essence, my very soul, loves the Divine and lives to serve this love in a world that doesn’t always seem to want it, be ready for it, feel worthy of it, and will do anything at times but let itself feel held and loved.
Maybe you recognize this for yourself, this sense of your own essence being so connected even in the midst of this vast and often intense experiment of duality that has led to so much painful polarity. Maybe you’ve felt this even in the ache for Diviner reunion within and in your outer world too that all parts of you feel on some level in this lifetime, let alone how your many soul aspects have perhaps suffered for this in other lifetimes.
Last night we had a SoulFullHeart group call focused on the persecution wound and I realized that for myself, a huge aspect of this persecution experience has been this sense of always feeling so devoted and committed to the Divine and to love, that it’s led to some very dark timelines of ridicule and backlash… and, I realize I’m not alone in that. Those of us who have chosen to awaken to this desire for deep Divine alignment, even at the cost of anything that could possibly resemble a ‘normal’ life to most, have all experienced this and continue to endure it.
The invitation, of course, is to continue to feel where this backlash lives within us from part to part and reconcile it there, while also validating our souls’ ongoing experiences of this theme on the outside. It’s only inside of us where we can always cultivate an inner Safe Haven, and inner Divine Temple, that can never ever leave us or be taken away from us. We can only make choices that either continue to cultivate this inner world of safety or that dismantle it instead.
After the call, Raianna and I went on a walk a little walk to get some air. On the walk, we came across fields of sunflowers which inspired mixed reactions in us both. So many of these sunflowers were scorched and had died from the severe lack of rain and extremely high temperatures here in central Portugal the last couple of months, yet even amongst the dead, there were a few that were vibrant and very much alive.
You can see one of the living sunflowers in the photo I’m posting with this writing. I feel it as a symbol of how we’re invited to continue our own path of growth and devotion and Divine embodiment of love, even if/when the others around us in our outer worlds are choosing to experience the opposite. We are ALL in the middle of a field of ‘dying’ flowers, waiting to be reborn. We also all have this field inside of us, where our essence is waiting to shine through anew, growing, flowing, and facing towards the ‘sun’ of Divine love and support, despite all the death and darkness we’ve experienced on so many levels.
Your love for the Divine is an undying seed within you. Living into alignment with this is often a bliss-mess experience, yet we are all walking this out together at varying stages of readiness to be truly devoted to this path, wherever it’s meant to lead YOUR soul. I know nothing more fulfilling and enlivening, however challenging the path, than fully going into it, embracing that this is what you came here to experience and embody, and allowing the Divine surrender you actually know so well to bring up all that it’s meant to for the sake of your healing and deep, deep, DEEP self and soul rediscovery.
Let me know if I can support you in any way through 1:1 sessions (with women): soulfullheart.org/sessions
With so much love,
Kasha
***
Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
As women, our wombs hold so many energies: parts of us, parts of other people, codes for us to download and integrate, soul purpose alchemy, grounding into life, and so much more. After being in intimate relationship with another soul or letting go of anything in particular in our lives, there is usually something deep to feel within our wombs as we come back home to ourselves and reclaim the space she has held for others within her.
Sacred Feminine SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator, Kasha Rokshana, leads you to connect deeply with your womb during this guided meditation/transmission. During the meditation, you’ll connect with Divine Feminine guides as you step into the depths of your womb and begin your journey of feeling and deepening your relationship with the parts/aspects of you who hold the heartbreak you may be experiencing at this time.
1:1 sessions/free intro calls with Kasha for women are available if you feel drawn to deepen your healing and self-discovery journey. More info here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions
Kasha co-leads monthly women’s calls with Jelelle Awen by donation and on Zoom. For more information on upcoming and past women’s calls, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls
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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Animal guides offer us so much support in our lives here on Gaia. They feel like Star Family as well as Soul Family. So often it seems to be the case with our ‘pets’ and personal animal companions that they have a deep soul connection with us from many lifetimes and aren’t with us by accident or even coincidence. Our animal companions are just as essential to our lives and our expression of service of love, as anything else we hold as important for they offer us so many reminders of unconditional Divine love, remind us how to show up for and care for something outside of ourselves, and can help us open out our soul gifts as well.
An essential aspect of our Ascension and reunion process with the Divine within and without is our connection to our Gaian animal beloveds. They represent and remind us of so much within our hearts and souls and it’s never random which animal it is that we feel most drawn to, whether it’s physically or energetically. They all give us so many gifts and messages to draw from and they also offer portals into our essence and our soul’s lifetimes too!
I began making Spirit Animal Transmission Portraits as a way to offer a portal of connection to the animal companion(s) that reflect and offer something to you at this time. I create high-resolution images that can be used virtually or printed and framed/mounted. I can create your image with any dimension you prefer and we can talk openly about all the details as well as anything you’d like changed or altered once it’s been created.
I ask for an exchange of at least €20 as a donation in exchange for your portrait, yet I’m open to receiving any amount you feel is accessible to you and is a reflection of what you feel it’s worth to you personally. I create these as a way to serve love besides the 1:1 sessions I do with women, and they are a way for me to keep transitioning from my online English teaching job and into more full-time soul purpose-based work, so your generosity will be met in kind and with a heart full of deep gratitude!
I can create a portrait for you of your spirit animal(s) or any pets you’ve had that you’d like to honour as well!
Email me if you’re interested at kasharokshana@gmail.com and we can talk some more about details as well as how you can offer your donation to receive one.
Looking forward to creating one (or several) for you or as a gift for someone special!
Love, Kasha
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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
And declarations of being seen, heard, and oh, so felt
Loved
And cared for…
Starting,
And moving deeper, always,
Within.
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Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 