Re-homing, Re-wilding, Re-integrating

This past week I have been living in an area of land just outside a village near my soul family of feminines. They live in an apartment together I have been calling the Magdalene House. So, not quite wild camping by definition, but not campground, on-grid camping either. A bit in between. A balance between the domestic and the wild.

Since my recent completion with Kasha, I have felt a need to ‘re-home’ myself more than rewild myself. I do feel a draw to get more wild by going deeper into nature but for now, practically speaking, I need a balance for many reasons. So this itches a scratch and a need.

I have felt a split inside myself between polar parts and aspects such as the domestic/wild, the practical/spiritual, the masculine/feminine, and the calm/passionte. It is interesting when I look at those in this moment and I organize them by what came first and then second I get this polarity:

The domestic, practical, calm masculine vs. the wild, spiritual, passionate feminine.

Now there are other ways to organize this list but this one in particular symbolizes something for me personally. It represents an archetypal pattern inside of myself that has played out externally but is occurring inside of me from self to self.

I feel this re-homing period is about creating a space between these parts, aspects and energies to find a safe haven to come and be felt, seen, heard, and hopefully back into union. Being a part of a sacred union off and on, I have tended to focus on the bond rather than my own unification. I have had a history of care-taking that I am in still in a process around to shift into care-giving.

True care-giving is holding a line of goodness and honesty within oneself to bring an overflow of care, compassion, and challenge if needed. If this is not being felt and intergrated internally, it just doesn’t happen on the outside. It turns into obligation, compliance, and the dreaded care-taking that really does no one any good. It may solve a short-term uncomfortability, but does not address core need and growth.

So this care-giving goes internal now. It goes into feeling and bridging these aspects inside of myself through journaling, inner dialogue, and meditation. It is feeling myself and parts in their needs, truth, and desires in each moment. Any dissonce in my field felt as a portal to this reunification inside.

It is like a zipper. I am sitting staring at one in my tent. These parts and aspects need me to zip myself up into a cohesion. A unified field of masculine/feminine, practical/spiritual, domestic/wild, and calm/passionate. I, as Gabriel, am the piece of metal that bring them together and bond them in union to form a more solid pillar of Self, both divine and human. More real and raw. More me, less other.

This has been an ongoing journey for me that has just taken the time it has and the path it has. Any self-judgements just set me back again. Yet, if they come, I will it with them, honor them, and heal them with Love. I desire that my own journey around this re-homing be an inspiration or a guide for anyone else experiencing the same, especially for men. I know there is lot for us to heal and show up for in this ongoing ascension process that just keeps getting more activated by the arising Divine Feminine.

I am having some more ideas about the different types of masculine energies that live within myself and the collective that I will be sharing soon that may be a marker for other men who may feel the same. It is becoming a deep passion of mine to serve other men on this quest for Self, Love, and Purpose while re-homing themsleves.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Sirian Gateway, The Feminine Rising, & The End Of A Great Cycle

Cycles are ending and beginning. Small ones and big ones. Many of which are happening at this grand juncture of time. A coalescence of all that began a decade ago for many, including myself. I had chosen to feel and heal all that had been haunting me in my emotional and spiritual bodies. Haunting in a suffering sense as well as a calling and longing for something ‘brand new’ from my 3D perspective at the time.

Yet, it was never really new, I was just longing for Me. Longing for my needs, my truth, my gifts, my creativity, my power, and my service for and with the Divine. I know that is a lot of ‘my’s but it needed to be. Parts of me needed the permission to want something more for themselves than what they had created even as good as it was from a particular vantage point.

I am still unfolding this Me into the world. This unfettered power of realness, desire, and purpose. Just like the proverbial Russian doll. Or the ever-peeling onion. One cycle, one gateway, one portal at a time. This particular junction has been a doozy for me personally, and I know for many of you as well. So much is getting shaken and stirred that it has been hard at times to know which way is up or where the North Star is. Of course it is always within, but when we get knocked sideways we may get our bearings off-kilter.

It has been about riding the waves in whatever fashion they come without judgement or expectation. The Divine Feminine is rising, is becoming more embodied, and that is creating ripples and waves in the Masculine. My masculine has been on the edge at times and it has been a little crazy-making to be honest. A vibration that is poulticing out so much in the shadow and all that has been suppressed.

If there is any ounce of control or fear, this energy WILL find it and seek its reconciliation back to a state of Grace and Love. It is not forcing, it is just a reality of what IS. We cannot hide from ourselves and our rightful gifts and service any more. We are being asked to embody our deepest selves with compassion and passion both. There is only one world that we wish to be in and that is in the world of realness and love. Real Love. That feels like what is at the root of this Lion’s Gate passage.

I will be exploring and writing more about my own masculine experience of this ongoing Divine Feminine rising and how we as men may be responding to it either consciously or unconsciously. That feels like my greatest service to myself and to others who resonate. We are getting shaken and stirred and we are all relating to it differently. I hope that it will be a service to women as well who find themselves in connection to men who may be struggling. May it provide a perspective and an understanding from my own personal heart and soul lens.

Sending you so much love as we navigate and support each other through this very turbulent yet alive time in our history.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Being Spiritually Practical

Am I being spiritually practical or practically spiritual?

That is the question I have been asking myself lately as I am navigating another life change at the moment. The Sirian Gateway is stirring the pot again and that has left some practical things to consider while at the same time letting them unfold.

When I have been met by big life changes, parts of me can get swirled up in a lather. I drew the picture below many years ago when another life change happened. It was quite the cacophony of energy that got kicked up. When there is no differentiation of particular parts it is all felt as a giant storm at times. Yet, there are individual aspects that are floating around in there getting battered and bruised.

I have felt my more ‘practical’ parts or aspects come to take over the situation like a tactical team of experts that come repelling from the skies to manage it all. I am grateful for that team. I need them. Yet, I realize how much in my past I have fused to that energy at the cost of my emotional and spiritual bodies. One big brain walking around until it exploded or passed out.

When I was in my 20s I had hallucinogenic drugs for the first time and they tore down the more mental and practical veil I had clung to like a safety net or security blanket. I realized I had a ton of fear and anxiety that I was managing with the mental and the practical. I was also preventing Love from entering my inner house at the same time to help heal that well of fear and anxiety.

Fast forward 30 years and I don’t feel the same depths of that fear and anxiety as much, but it is still there waiting for me to continue to meet it and Love it. I still feel my tactical practical team coming in, but I am wanting to take a breather to feel what has seemed to get set aside in those moments. Is there something deeper to feel here? Can I take a moment to take stock of this big change happening before me? What is mystical and emotional amongst it all?

This has just been one of my personal tendencies this life. I don’t want to judge it or make it wrong. I just want to recognize it, sense its gifts, as well as its burdens. For carrying the practical can be a burden to parts of us. As a man, this may come at the cost of my inner child and inner feminine. Two aspects that are intrinsically connected to my Heart and Spirit.

I am still walking and waking out of the matrix. It has been ingrained and conditioned in me for a lifetime and beyond. It is true for many of us, especially the masculine. It takes the time it takes to keep untangling and unfurling our wings. The courage we can receive from our Sirian guides and aspects can be a big part of this ongoing process that continues well beyond any Gateway. It is internal and eternal.

I am looking forward to connecting to these energies more this Monday when Raphael and Jelelle Awen host their Lion’s Gate Activation group call. Even if you can’t make it I highly recommend getting that recording for the recoding. More info on our events page here: www.soulfullheart.org/events.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Healing And Ascension Of The Divine Masculine: A Personal Perspective

During my time in Lisbon last week, I came to realize something big for myself that may resonate with others as well. When I came home, it took a few days for the buzzing feeling in my body to recede back to its more native and natural state. It was like the city vibration had taken a hold inside of me. I have had this before when Kasha and I lived in Porto for a month last year so it has been awhile, yet I knew prior to our trip that it was going to be interesting to see how it would all transpire.

What I experienced in the city was a sensitivity that I have taken for granted most of my life. Coupled with eating much lighter and cleaner, I felt like an unsheathed nerve ending by the time I came back. I didn’t have a bad time at all, but I definitely had an overwhelm that I felt was being a bit glossed over due to a part of me really wanting to explore and get the ‘most’ out of our time. A very masculine kind of energy.

I am not judging that energy as it was very excited and curious, yet there was also a real-time part of me that was feeling pushed, maybe my more feminine side. My flow state and body were a bit ignored at times. This led me to realize how much my masculine side has operated from this place of ‘getting through’ or ‘getting over’ something to achieve a goal or outcome. I also felt control and anxiety come up at times, navigating a very busy and populated city.

By our return to the tranquility of our rural village, I could feel my nervous system and mental body a bit frazzled. I felt some judgment about not being able to deal with the intensities of the city as much as a part of me thought it could. In retrospect, I am amazed as to what many other people have conditioned themselves to be able to deal with in these kinds of environments. This where the smoking, eating, intense exercise, sex, and other forms of medications help to create an energetic buffer and wall to all the vibrations.

Since I was in more of a porous state in my energetic body, I realized I was also feeling all the things that were in the collective field wherever we went yet wasn’t as present to its effects due to my past density and ability to pack it away somewhere else. This is why I would always get sick in my early days and then follow it with the reintroduction of past addictions and medications.

There was a definite feeling deep inside me of something collapsing in relation to the mental and protective bodies. There has been such an attachment to these that I feel parts of me have identified with those. Then I realized that this may be true for most men, or the masculine in us all.

As Gaia continues to move into and through this increased photonic energy field, and the more we each continue our healing and body detoxes, the more the veil to all that we have identified with and suppressed are coming to the surface. This will make for a bit of crazy-making, especially for the masculine, and men in particular.

I needed the mirror and messiness of intimacy with Kasha to help me see and feel this. I feel the feminine is more intimate and in flow with this death and rebirth process. This is why this is the sacred feminine time to rise and help the masculine to be born into the New. This is not to suggest that the feminine is responsible for the masculine, but there is a bigger context to see and feel here.

The Feminine is increasingly feeling the need to heal and be in alignment with herself and with the Divine. The Masculine is in deep death and rebirth around all that has felt true to him for millenia. It is coming to recognize his own sensitivity and need to be more real with his own truth and needs. This will butt up against the Matrix-hijacked version of himself in the 3D and lower 4D frequencies of robot, soldier, warrior, and shadow king/magician.

I am getting how messy this process is and will be, yet it is all held in the loving embrace of the Divine Mother and Father. The Divine Feminine will act as the midwife to this ongoing birthing and ascension process. We need Her to help the Divine Masculine arise into His most humbled and worthy role as co-creator of New Earth. We need other men to take the mantle of this difficult yet necessary disentanglement from the Old Guard and the collective masculine conditioning.

This is not about doing it alone either yet there may need to be a period of necessary cocooning. We men have been more alone than we realize in our worlds. We have hidden ourselves away from our true sensitivities and needs. We have created walls where we need to be building bridges connected to our hearts, not just our minds and souls. This is our coming of age story. Our true Hero’s Journey. The one that leads us to intimacy with self and others as well as the Divine in both the Mother and Father.

It does not make us more weak or dependent, but rather stronger and more whole in our Being and Presence. It is where we truly begin our work as co-creators or co-rememberers of our Original Union with the Feminine, inside and out.

I feel I learned something profound in my time in the city that relates to the bigger picture for all of us on our journeys during these volatile and uncertain times. We can bring more certainty into The Field when we begin to shed Light and offer Love to all of that which has been forgotten and hidden inside of us. It is time for us to remember how sensitive we are as well as how strong we are as sacred human expressions of the Divine.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Inner Son, Inner Father Guided Meditation: Video 26 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Raphael Awen & Gabriel Amara

In this twenty-sixth video of our 31-day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Co-Creator Raphael Awen is joined by SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator Gabriel Amara as we explore Sacred Masculine Awakening in this 3rd of four videos within Deepen 22 series

In this video, we shared about:
*How the Inner Son, expressing as either the Inner Child or The Inner Teeanager holds the key to our sensitivity and vulnerability.
*How their ‘arrested development’ as psychology calls it, is not something wrong or to be fixed, but rather a portal back to our spring loaded essence, without which, we are left compensating in all of life for that missing essence.
*How our birth Father can leave us with a template of a bully, an impotent/absent dad, or an idealized false God, ‘perfect dad’ leaves us with a template that we need to then sort through to cultivate a healthy relationship with Divine Father

In the guided meditation portion of the video, Gabriel and Raphael lead you to reconnect with your Inner Son and Inner Father to begin a reconnection and healthy differentiation with you holding the space as your divine self.

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvJPnLzbEKl4OsQBXBYw2XwI

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about a Deepen 2022 group call on January 30th, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series for free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

Purpose And Meaning Guided Meditation: Video 25 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Raphael Awen & Gabriel Amara

In this twenty-fifth video of our 31 day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Co-Creator Raphael Awen is joined by SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator Gabriel Amara as we explore Sacred Masculine Awakening in this second of four videos within the Deepen Series

In this video, we discussed:
*How a human embodiment requires purpose and meaning and how needing purpose and meaning isn’t some ego attachment to be transcended in the name of a higher frequency or some kind of spirituality.
*That we are created as and by purpose and meaning and that our journey is ever ongoing in remembering that, discovering that, and how that changes as we move through ascension. We are not out looking for a purpose, but rather remembering the one encoded deep within.
*We spent some time feeling what a 4D expression of purpose and meaning can take on a big warrior kind of stance battling for freedom from the tyranny of the oppressors from whom we must wrestle back our freedom, and then compared that to what to a 5D expression of purpose and meaning looks and feels like in contrast where we move into a love-ambassador stance of being.
*We also discussed what role a community plays in purpose and meaning, how we can’t really embody purpose and meaning in any way as a lone wolf, even as we all have phases of needing a lone wolf kind of experience.

In the guided meditation portion of the video, Gabriel and Raphael:
*Lead you into your purpose and meaning room, where you find your personal akashic record imprint of your purpose to see what you are ready to see and feel.
*We then looked at a future self version of you expressing in purpose and meaning.
*And then we felt the gap between where you are today and where your future self is expressing.
*We then exited this room into the full light of day to take in the light codes to support this awakening.

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvJPnLzbEKl4OsQBXBYw2XwI

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about a Deepen 2022 group call on January 30th, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

Grief and Mourning Guided Meditation: Video 24 – Deepen 2022 (Video) | Raphael Awen & Gabriel Amara

In this twenty-fourth video of our 31 day video series called Deepen 2022, SoulFullHeart Teacher/Co-Creator Raphael Awen is joined by SoulFullHeart Teacher/Facilitator Gabriel Amara as we explore Sacred Masculine Awakening over the next four videos.

In this video, we shared about how undigested grief and mourning seems to be the big piece holding the masculine back from entering the true ground of their emotional body from where real authenticity and presence and being arises; how this grief can be related to experiences this life, and can even stretch back all the way back to our original separation wound held by an Inner Orphan part of us that was created when we were soul-born into an individuated separate consciousness out of the Divine. We talked about how the masculine’s entire relationship with life, with meaning and purpose, with self-identity is then skewed by this undigested grief.

In the guided meditation portion of the video, Gabriel and Raphael lead you into the grief room to feel what is ready to be bridged to and felt, mourned, and then taken out into the light of day – from mourning to morning.

You can watch each video in the Deepen 2022 playlist on our SoulFullHeart Experience You Tube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvJPnLzbEKl4OsQBXBYw2XwI

For more information about the Deepen 2022 series including a full listing of the content covered over 31 days and information about a Deepen 2022 group call on January 30th, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/deepen2022

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.
We also invite you to join us for free membership on our private, online community SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks for sharing, asking questions, and connecting with others engaged in the series: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/feed
For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

We are offering this series free of charge, yet we would be so grateful if you offered an energy exchange/donation to us for the value you receive in this series. You can donate through paypal: http://paypal.me/jelelleawen or at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

The Quest Of Sacred Knighthood

There is a sacred Knighthood that lives among the hearts of men. A Kighthood that needs to be revisited in our souls to heal the division amongst us so that we may once again find a unity within us.

We were once called to a Higher code of vision and purpose before being hijacked in our hearts. We all agreed to this. We chose it to work out something inside and out. I am being called to be one of many that wish to see this Order to be reestablished and embodied once again.

An Order that is committed to self-healing and Divine expression. One that looks beyond the machinations of the System and derives its sovereign authority from Love Itself.

It is an Order devoted to committing itself to vulnerable leadership, community-building, and sacred union/intimacy within mateship. Co-creating and co-leading with the feminine inside and out.

This is dismantling the old orders of warriors and nice guys. They are integrated into a more wholistic and sacred service of creation not bound by fear, hate, domination, and guilt. This a call that starts not by fixing or transcending, but by feeling and courageous embodiment of what is clear and aligned with Love.

That is the new Quest I have been called to participate in alongside Raphael Awen. The new Call to Arms which means going into the heart. Into the soul to find where we left Love’s Grace and to reinstall it back into our Being and back into Consciousness. A new order of Knighthood that leads us back to our one true Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.

For more information on being a part of this quest, I offer a free 45 min. introductory call. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info.

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Surrendering To Our Sovereign Relationship To Love

The words ‘sovereignty‘ and ‘surrender‘ can be quite the portals for the masculine in us all. They are especially highlighted in relationships of all kinds. In the ongoing journey of healing my intimacy wounds, I have come to these gateways many times. Who is this ‘me’ in the we of intimate relationship? How do I maintain my own truth, needs, and desires without feeling like I am acquiescing or submitting to someone else’s truth, needs, and desires?

Before I left California 8 years ago, I lived a life that would be defined as ‘sovereign’. I was not in many relationships after my divorce, and when I was, sovereignty was a big trigger as well as commitment. Inside there was a part of me that wanted his cake and eat it too. That old wounded masculine conditioned standard. Intimacy was more about sex and having a good time rather than getting to the bare bones of my heart-truth and my deeper needs as human man.

Then I found myself in a sacred, conscious romance as well as sacred, conscious community. Those flared up that ‘sovereignty gene’ I want to call it. That switch that says, “Oh, woah! Wait! Time-out. What is going on here? I am I giving away something that I cherish for the sake of something that I am not familiar with?”. The question was, what was it that a part of me cherished and what was it not familiar with?

At the core, I found that a part of me cherished non-vulnerability and wasn’t familiar with vulnerability. Even deeper, I realized it was an existential fear of Love that was at the root of it all. When I felt the ‘me’ that was independent, sovereign, and non-vulnerable, I found a man that was lost, unhappy, and alone. Only he wasn’t able to admit that at the time. With anyone.

As men (or the masculine in women), we can so very much defend our sovereignty at the cost of real Love. That somehow Love and Sovereignty are separate and adversarial. I feel our relationship to our mothers as a pivotal piece to this equation. They represent that from which we were born from. We received love in one form or another and then we needed to break away from that to find our individuation. Our authentic manhood that needed to push away, but more healthfully could have been initiated into it by a more conscious mother and father energy.

If we did not have that, and I would say most if not all of us did, then we are continually in this push-pull relationship to Other. To Love. To Intimacy. Surrender becomes more ‘submission’ than an opening into vulnerability which is all done with our sovereignty intact. We actually can never lose our sovereignty. We are born free, yet have been convinced we are in chains. When you see those chains are really about our fear of Love and our deep separation wound, you start to unhook those chains one by one.

This is a deep soul choice to heal this wound. It is not an easy one. It brings up a lot to witness and feel. A lot to be sober about in our shadow. Yet, it also brings in a new sense of freedom. A freedom to Be. To express. To surrender into without losing ourselves, but rather re-membering ourselves. It offers Love beyond what we had been conditioned and wounded into believing is love. This is the sovereign journey back into true surrender and true power. The power of conscious Love.



Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call this Saturday at 5pm BST via Zoom. We will be talking about these topics as well as offering a guided meditation and sharing space. You can go to soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Feeling Easter As Your Own Death & Rebirth Process

This has been a very rumbly week leading up to Easter. There has been a churning of death and rebirth going on inside and out. My sacred union with my beloved Kasha has been put to the ‘test’, so to speak, with so much new ground needing an old ground to burn away in order to come into our next level of conscious romance and leadership.

I have needed to be ‘off’ social media to let all of this digest and find its way inside of me. It has been about continuing to find my voice, speak my truth and needs, as well as feeling the fear of doing so. It is this truth that can change so much. It creates and it destroys, but not necessarily in the way that a part of us may feel like it will. It is this fire that is meant to be alchemical and not necessarily harmful.

I was starting to feel the ways in which this fear is more about embodying our true power in the world and what that can actually create. If power and truth in our soul history has been experienced or judged as a ‘negative’, then we will inevitably find a way to suppress said power. We will remain in a push-pull around it. Deeply wanting and needing it, while hiding it at the same time. This creates suffering rather than movement.

This power has been held as a control mechanism inside of me. A way to manage and maintain a particular consciousness while my soul and the Divine are strongly, yet lovely, inviting me into something more essential, more real. Something long forgotten or buried. This is where a tight grip has formed or an anxious fear of surrender. I realized how much a part of me has still clung to this control structure.

In meditation I saw a sand castle on top of a stream. The foundation of this sand castle was collapsing into the stream. The castle was starting to crumble and I could feel parts of me trying to build it back up with more sand in order to keep it up. There was a tiredness in that. A readiness to let go while fearing the unknown of it all. I felt the stream as the Divine Itself, as Love, as the Tao. It just wants me to be the stream. Be in active surrender to where it is meant to take me even if I can’t see around the bend or it winds up in rapids.

It is my vulnerability and truth that keeps me afloat. It is what allows me to flow with my currency and is my true power. That stored up power in the castle just changed form and into embodiment. As the castle fully collapsed, I shed tears. I felt myself collapse into the flow of Love. I felt baptized and renewed. I felt a new connection with Kasha and myself.

As a result, I found myself realizing I needed to go back to my previous name of Gabriel. A lot has moved for me since trying on Aurius, but Gabriel is the essence of who I am in my soul. It is my Divine name. I just needed to flush some things out and reboot it. My beloveds also have an affinity for Gabriel and so that was enough for me to choose to go back. I will keep Amara as my last name, however. It has a frequency I love. It represents my inner feminine.

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me, and I hope that it has a service to you in all that you may be going through at this time. I am always here to facilitate and hold-space for this process that has taken me to new worlds and embodied awarenesses inside of myself in deep terrain. It is alchemical and transformative.

Much love to you this Easter weekend and may you meet your next death and rebirth cycle with grace, compassion, and courage.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/