The Quest Into The Dark

A part of us has created a safe space, a known space, even if what is known is suffering. The light and warmth of this space keeps him there. Anchored to the perimeter of its glow. Yet, from time to time, or maybe all the time, a voice calls out from the darkness, from the Shadow. 

It may start off small but then grows in intensity. How that shows up for each of us is different. It may be a physical message, a mental chatter, or an emotional surge. Whatever the case, it is calling to us to enter the forgotten, the repressed, and the hidden. 

The Quest into our shadowlands is our quest for the Holy Grail of our Truth, Authenticity, and Vulnerability. It is a different kind of lightless fire that forges something long cast aside. Something we had only dreamed of or desired while staring into the fire of our comfort or suffering. 

There is a whole world in that darkness. A world we are being called to light the flames of once again. A world that holds us responsible for its tending and expansion. A new order that is created by facing our fears, our needs, our pain, and our passion. 

Along the way, we confront and meet the parts and aspects of us that have been living in these hinterlands, not so far from the edge of our campfire. As we meet and hold space for their healing and integration, we are ready for whatever comes next in the time and pace it is meant to. We are not hunting in the shadow, we are calling out to it with care and curiosity. If we are on the offense, they will be on the defense. 

With each new connection and healing a bond is formed inside that had been severed. An extension of the old fire is created and the expansion of the inner kingdom is claimed. We become ambassadors to our Shadow and the Darkness within, then the benevolent king of their new world that is encased in the SoulFire. 

The journey begins by our desire, need, and call to be the most authentic and divinely aligned version of ourselves. Only then will we experience true sovereignty of this human incarnation. We chose this, so let’s claim it. Shadow and All.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/soulfire for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Recollecting And Reconciling Our Forgotten Sacred Brotherhood

In this clarion SoulFire call to serve and gather men together in sacred brotherhood, I have had to feel my own resistance to my relationship with men both in this life and in my Metasoul.

This life has been more of a Beta version of my masculine that has led those relationships, resonating with other Beta versions in those I was closest to. Our Nice Guys would come together in solidarity rather than the Real Guy. Our repressed rage would come out in relation to sports, politics, or our significant others, but they would rarely, if ever, come out toward each other.

It was like we were tip-toeing around a volcano or walking on thin ice, being subconscious to this resistance to get more intimate or deeper with each other. We could feel the love and care for each other, but it was expressed in a muted fashion. A solid handshake with the other arm slapped around the back in a masculine embrace that was temporal and shallow, yet aching for something more underneath.

That ‘more’ feels like a reconciliation. A remembrance of what we have been through in other lifetimes that have been challenging, disturbing, and heart-breaking. We don’t just come together by chance. We come together to heal the ‘past’ and remember our connection. We find each other to remind ourselves that we are human and not fucking robots doing the bidding of our matrix masters anymore.

The Brotherhood is collective, but it is also closely intimate. There are bands of brothers that have been through the muck together time after time, life after life. This is the Soul Brotherhood rooted in the Heart. They fashion a sacred geometry together that holds the flame of the greater Soul Community/Tribe/Family that include the Sacred Sisterhood, their counterpart mates and kindred sisters.

This is what I feel I am here to remember and re-collect. To remember the pain of loss. The pain of death. The ache of the grief of our separation. The unity that we shared, that we held, that we honored and cherished so sacredly and have since packed away in our shadow for it is a lot to feel.

It is to shine that Light of remembrance as a beacon to draw back the Brotherhood. To heal the separation between us and remember our Glory once again. Our Divinely appointed gift as men to fashion a reality that is centered in the Heart and bonded with the Feminine. A reality that holds us each as sovereign and in union both. They cannot be separate.

But first, the Remembrance. The tucked away memory of what has happened to cause this diaspora. This closing of the heart between us. The battles, the war, the exploration, the conjuring, and the revolutions that never quite lived into Evolution. I will go into that for my own healing as well as for the healing of the Brotherhood itself. This is the promise of The SoulFire.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Be Your Own But Not Alone, Man

You are not ‘emasculated’
You are not ‘toxic’
You are not ‘patriarchal’
You are a man on a journey
To true heart and soul embodiment


Those words represent
What you or aspects of you might have been
What you might have experienced
And succumbed to
But they are not YOU


They are the hinterlands
Of the spectrum
Of your hu-man soul being
The reminders that you have left your center
Your true power of clarity AND vulnerability


When you sway into emasculation
The way back to center may appear ‘toxic’
When you sway into the rough
The way back to center may appear ‘soft’


You are always in a state of course correction
If you have chosen to heal
To find your true essence
Of what it means to be your own man
Not to be A man
But your OWN man


This man is not alone, though
He is very much in relation
In relation to himself
In relation to the Divine and the Void
In relation to the Feminine
Inside and out
In relation to other men
In relation to the Collective Soul of Humanity


This is the way of reclamation
The way of redemption
The way of reunion
The way of resurrection
This is the way back Home
To your authentic human and sacred masculine


~ words given to me by my Higher Masculine Heart and shared with those that may need them too.


Love to my heart and SoulFire brothers,

~~~~~

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Courageous Journey Back To The Heart

Our Hearts and Souls want to come Home.
Home to our truth
Home to our passion
Home to our gifts
Home to our Love


They want to come Home
Into embodiment
Into alignment
Into expression
Into Union


Our Hearts and Souls have been out on a mission.
A mission of the experience of separation
A mission of forgetting in order to remember
A mission of hiding, seeking, and finding
A mission of contraction and expansion


It is time to bring those fractured and
forgotten selves Home.
Those parts left in trauma and woundedness
Those aspects left in soul loops
Those wisdoms we have collected along the way
Those elements that make up our Essence


We don’t need to ‘go home’
We want to Come Home
The home on the inside
Home to the Eternal
Home to the Primal
Home to the Human
Home to the Divine Within


The journey Home is a journey back to You
Who you really are beyond the conditioning
Beyond the trauma
Beyond the fear
Beyond the suffering


The journey back to Love
Back to surrender
Back to Creation
Back to true freedom


It is not an easy journey
For we have lots to feel and heal
Lots to take responsibility for
And lots to forgive
These are our steps back Home
The Home of the Heart and of the Soul
Inside this human body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Painting by Autumn Skye ART
*I edited the original for this post. I invite you to visit her page for the full version. It has more to say about the masculine journey back Home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Wounded, The Wild, And The Feminine

This past week I moved to a new flat in another village here in Central Portugal not too far from my soul fam. It is a fresh start as I am literally the first tenant of this remodeled schist house. It is a blend of modern and historical, the natural and the practical, the masculine and the feminine. This feels like a great place for some deep reconciliation work inside of me.

Since the completion of my relationship with Kasha, I have been leaning on the practical side of myself. I talked about this in my last post. Now that things have settled, I can feel where I am needing to recalibrate myself to both my wildness and my inner feminine, as well as a blend of the two. The practical and wounded masculine part of me needs them deeply.

It is in the reintegration of these aspects of me that can support the healing and transformation of my wounded and tired matrix masculine. There is much to atone for in my departure from these energies inside of me that have always wanted a seat at the table yet have been resisted for many reasons that I am still delving into.

So much unworth has been cast onto and into the collective masculine heart. The history of its need to be closed off and in control. The deep fear of intimacy that can feel like an existential annihilation of its wounded egoic tendencies. So much clinging to provision, accomplishment, accumulation, and ‘freedom’. I put that in quotes as I feel there is a wounded relationship to freedom that actually pushes away at intimacy.

It is in this coming to terms with our own wildness and our feminine, that we can start to sense the wider aperture of our true masculine being. Our expression in the world and investment in relationships become renewed, remastered, and reborn. They become our guiding lights, our course-correctors, and our allies. They give us the courage and compassion to delve deep into that wounded and giant heart of ours.

I look forward to what arises in myself and with others as I continue this ongoing exploration inside of myself with this process of meditation, journaling, sessions, feeling, and intimate relationship with community and the Divine. It offers so much in the way of personal understanding, maturation, expansion, inner peace and Love. This is why I share my experience for others that resonate and may get something from it for themselves, as well as an invitation to start your own inner healing journey.

Much love to all of you brave hearts and souls that are choosing the path of most resistance…the path back to intimacy inside and out.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Healing Of The ‘Matrix Masculine’

This past Equinox gathering of hearts and souls pushed up a lot for me that has roots deep in my soul. I also felt how it was connected to the collective as well. When that happens it can be a lot to sort and move through. Yet, this is why I am here. This is why my soul has guided me to be a part of an intimate community so that I can feel and heal what needs feeling and healing on a personal level, which in turn makes waves in the quantum world. 

After the completion of my sacred union relationship with Kasha, I found myself in a ‘doing’ mode that seemed to put a wall around my deeper grief. I have had tender moments of loss and remorse, but it was made clear that a part of me had a strategy to ‘avoid the void’ of the deeper grief that lives inside. There is a great separation wound that exists inside that I have skirted the edges of, thinking I have met it fully, when in fact I have been swimming in the shallow end of the pool to some degree. 

This is not a prescription for me to dive into the deep end willy-nilly, but rather to be aware of the territory and let it arise in its due course. My soul will know when I am ready. Alongside the Sacred Grief, there was also another layer of inadequacy and unworth that came into my field with the acknowledged strategy of avoidance. This is tricky as I felt it in an inner masculine aspect of myself that I have worked with for a long time. He represents so much of my own personal masculine as well as a connection to what I have felt as the ‘Matrix Masculine’. 

This aspect was born/constructed from the womb of the False Mother/Father matrix we are all a part of to some degree or another. He has been wrapped up in it like a fly caught in a spider’s web. At times, he is motivated to fight against it, find freedom from it, or learn to master it. Either way there is still a relationship to it that is at odds. The history of being stuck in this loop has created a deep seed of suffering, grief, shame, and feeling lost. He has been separated from his own feminine counterpart on the inside which exacerbates the condition. 

I was shown this disconnect from my own inner feminine part as well as from my own Divine Essence or Self. It was an illumination of the wounding within the Holy Trinity of Self-to-Self, Self-to-Other, and Self-to-Divine. This masculine part of me, named Marcus, is at the hub of this. He represents so much of my power, truth, and vision. He also represents the pain, the pressure, and the punishment. 

Beside the disconnect from my inner feminine there is also one with my inner child and him. He has forgotten the art of play and the presence of innocent joy that it brings. The reconnection of all three feels like another Holy Trinity of masculine, feminine, and innocence. When we as men can have contact with all three in a sacred dance and flow, we have found ourselves on a new strata of personal experience of the world we live in. 

This compartmentalization happened for protective reasons as well as wounded ones. It is now bringing these aspects of me back into the same room and starting the healing and reunion process. I also feel a need for my beloved wounded masculine to be seen and felt as the Divine Son that he is rather than the Lost Son. That is an ongoing process that will take time as reintegration and ascension does. 

On the integrated side of the journey, it opens up more of my divine masculine heart to be in love with myself and those close to me. It opens up my trust and leadership as well as my creativity and play. It offers me a new timeline of what it means to be a human man merging again with Spirit and Source. With the Shadow and the Light. 

Thanks for taking this all in as I hope it gives a doorway into this process for others that feel a resonance with what I continue to work with inside of myself as a man in a very intimate community and healing process.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Sept 17, 2022

Feeling your Inner Masculine as a woman is a powerful, multi-faceted experience! Tomorrow, Sept 18th at 5pm WEST (Lisbon/London)/ 12pm EDT/ 9am PDT, Jelelle and Kasha will be leading a women’s call focused on connecting with your inner masculine in any expression he currently has. You can donate to attend live and/or receive the recording via our shop or PayPal and we will email you the Zoom link and recording after the call.

If you’d like more information on any of our upcoming group calls, visit our Events page.

There are a few new writings to take in this week, featuring some messages from the Divine and star family too, poetry, and other heartfelt sharings.

There is also a brand new guided meditation video from Kasha, focused on creating a ‘Safe Haven’ within you where you/parts of you can return to whenever they want to, yet especially during those times when life on the outside seems unsafe or unstable in any way.

You can find our current Museletter here.

If you’d like to subscribe to receive our Museletters and other announcements in your own inbox, you can do so on our website or you can scroll to the bottom of this issue and click “subscribe”.

Much love from all of us!

~ the SoulFullHeart Community

Feeling & Honouring The ‘Inner Masculine/King’ Within The Feminine

by Kasha Rokshana

Kings on the outside are returning to themselves. Men are awakening to their masculine core essences. They’re playing in the polarities they need to in order to discover themselves anew and reclaim their Kingship. There’s a lot to this process for the masculine that we as feminines can’t totally understand, except we ARE afforded a portal of some understanding through feeling our own inner masculine aspects/parts, who are in a similar process at times. 

Actually, the feminine equivalent of this process for men is a reclaiming of our Queen. She is an energy of benevolence but also has deep pain and often quite the missing of an authentic masculine counterpart – a King – in order to truly experience herself AS a Queen. Yes, I AM saying that as women we do need the masculine in our lives, in our hearts, in our bodies… as beautiful and necessary as our independence also is. 

Enter now the process of feeling your inner masculine, or you could say, your inner King. This process now offers a way for your Queen to show up in relationship to a King energy, even if it’s polarized for a while as the aches and pains of want, desire, and deep hurt now surface more so than they could have before. 

Having recently been in a long term Sacred Union bond, I can say without hesitation that my Queen got to blossom because of relating to the masculine on the outside. Also though, I couldn’t have drawn this opportunity without first having had a lot of process ground with masculine energies inside of me. I’ve experienced and felt the polarized reactions in the inner world… the hesitations and hang-ups, the love and the fighting for more love. Even today I feel there’s some tension in moments between my masculine and feminine energies, yet most of the time it feels like there’s more harmony and understanding there, more feeling of each other, and more overall unity/oneness.

I so deeply welcome you to join me and Jelelle Awen as we co-lead an upcoming women’s call focused on this process of feeling your inner masculine! It’s by donation and if you can’t attend live you’ll receive the recording, though I highly recommend coming live if you can as the womb room we create together as a group is always warm and inviting!

You can donate by visiting our shop here: soulfullheart.org/shop or via PayPal: paypal.me/jelelleawen

I’ll include the call description below so you can take in some more details about where we’re going with this one.

Love,

Kasha ♥️

~

Description: 

The Inner Masculine within a woman has many different expressions as a very sacred part/energy of our inner worlds. This range of expression can move from highly protective, fatherly energies that can be punishing to more of an ‘ideal masculine mate’ in pursuit of the feminine. The inner masculine is an aspect/part that helps women navigate the patriarchal frequencies of the Matrix in whatever ways he feels are necessary. This can sometimes bring out something overbearing in him, though he can also feel quite defeated and deflated too, especially if he hasn’t been able to help or offer support in the way he’d most like to, or helped you/parts of you avoid difficult or dark situations.

Having an intimate relationship with your Inner Masculine as a woman, whether you are single or in union with a mate, helps to illuminate your relationship to the Divine Masculine/Father expressions of the Divine. You can get a sense then of why you may feel blocked to letting them in as well as why there may be a pattern of difficult or even non-existent relationships with men on the outside. Connecting deeply with the Inner Masculine offers us (and them) so many layers of healing from the impact of other men, whether mates, fathers or other authority figures, which eventually and ideally leads to a deep forgiveness that makes room for a whole NEW experience of the masculine inside and out.

In a two-hour women’s group call on Sunday, September 18th at 5:00/17:00pm WEST (Lisbon/London)/12:00pm EDT/9:00am PDT, SoulFullHeart Sacred Feminine Teachers and Facilitators Jelelle Awen and Kasha Rokshana will explore connecting with the Inner Masculine through sharing our personal journeys and also experiences in supporting women through our SoulFullHeart quantum healing process. We will share about how through a personal relationship with your Inner Masculine, you will also come to know your feminine parts/aspects in a whole new way and on a new ground of beginning or deepening your Inner Sacred Union, which moves between your masculine and feminine parts, as well.

During this call, we will co-lead a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Masculine with the support of Divine Masculine guides, who will help hold space for this exploration and invite your masculine part(s) into a nourishing and empowering energy where they can be real and even vulnerable. You will meet with your Inner Masculine however he is expressing at this time, and feel into the relationship he currently has with your feminine parts. We will also repeat affirmations as mantras together to recode our relationships between us and our Inner Masculine individually and together as women.

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Ode To The Healing Man

Thank you, Brother
For going into your heart
And setting the sails for a new course
A course set by the prevailing winds
Of the call to heal

Thank you, Brother
For the courage to feel
All the things that have been locked away
For they have needed to be
Until the closet got too full

Thank you, Brother
For your willingness to take responsibility
Of what lies right in front of you
The impact and consequences
Of not facing the shadow

Thank you, Brother
For looking in the mirror
And loving the man you are now,
The man you were then,
And the man you want to become.

Thank you, Brother
For your honesty
For your bravery
For your vulnerability
For your passion
For your vision
For your alignment of Heart and Soul

For you are a part of the next generation
The next incarnation
The next evolution
Of what it means to be a healthy human man.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Inner Masculine Connection – Women’s Group Call W/Jelelle & Kasha September 18

The Inner Masculine within a woman has many different expressions as a very sacred part/energy of our inner worlds. This range of expression can move from highly protective, fatherly energies that can be punishing to more of an ‘ideal masculine mate’ in pursuit of the feminine. The inner masculine is an aspect/part that helps women navigate the patriarchal frequencies of the Matrix in whatever ways he feels are necessary.

This can sometimes bring out something overbearing in him, though he can also feel quite defeated and deflated too, especially if he hasn’t been able to help or offer support in the way he’d most like to, or helped you/parts of you avoid difficult or dark situations.

Having an intimate relationship with your Inner Masculine as a woman, whether you are single or in union with a mate, helps to illuminate your relationship to the Divine Masculine/Father expressions of the Divine. You can get a sense then of why you may feel blocked to letting them in as well as why there may be a pattern of difficult or even non-existent relationships with men on the outside.
Connecting deeply with the Inner Masculine offers us (and them) so many layers of healing from the impact of other men, whether mates, fathers or other authority figures, which eventually and ideally leads to a deep forgiveness that makes room for a whole NEW experience of the masculine inside and out.

In a two-hour women’s group call on Sunday, September 18th at 5:00/17:00pm WEST (Lisbon/London)/12:00pm EDT/9:00am PDT, SoulFullHeart Sacred Feminine Teachers and Facilitators Jelelle Awen and Kasha Rokshana will explore connecting with the Inner Masculine through sharing our personal journeys and also experiences in supporting women through our SoulFullHeart quantum healing process. We will share about how through a personal relationship with your Inner Masculine, you will also come to know your feminine parts/aspects in a whole new way and on a new ground of beginning or deepening your Inner Sacred Union, which moves between your masculine and feminine parts, as well.

During this call, we will co-lead a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Masculine with the support of Divine Masculine guides, who will help hold space for this exploration and invite your masculine part(s) into a nourishing and empowering energy where they can be real and even vulnerable. You will meet with your Inner Masculine however he is expressing at this time, and feel into the relationship he currently has with your feminine parts. We will also repeat affirmations as mantras together to recode our relationships between us and our Inner Masculine individually and together as women.

You can receive these frequencies live with us (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards. If you attend the live group, you’ll have the opportunity to share with us about what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from us (this is totally optional). Plus, you’ll be able to take in and receive sharings from other women in the call, which is a powerful activation of its own!

This group is open to the public and to women over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy/money exchange of whatever donation you feel to give ($11 USD/$15 CAD is the usual amount people offer us).

You can offer your donation via our shop at soulfullheart.org/shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen and we will send you the zoom link to attend and the recording afterwards. If you purchase via paypal, please include your email in the note section so that we can send you the zoom link and the recording afterwards.

Hope you can join us for this powerful exploration into your inner masculine!

Love,
Jelelle and Kasha

We recommend this meditation to meet your Inner Protector (usually a masculine energy) here: https://youtu.be/NJT7oWYYdAs