Ending The Inner Wars: Connecting With Your Protector/Inner Masculine

By Jelelle Awen

The suffering so often comes from the inner polarization, the inner wars between one part of you to another. It can feel as if this suffering is being caused by others outside of you….what they are doing or not doing, how they are behaving or not behaving, what they are giving or not giving. It feels as if the war is happening outside of you and so much calling parts of you to ‘go to battle’ over and over again.
Yet, actually, the wars are happening inside of you and showing up on the outside as a mirror. The wars happen inside because of the templating you received of them in 3D life and what your soul experiences in other lifetime/timelines. The collective 3D culture so wrapped up in defending and battling…….and YOUR intimate cult-ure of birth family engaged in its own battlefields too. What were the warring frequencies that you took in from your parent’s relationship? From the way their masculine and feminine (inside of BOTH of them) related with each other? What did they teach you about fighting, about resisting, about pushing and pulling?
You sponged in this templating as necessary for survival and parts of you formed in response to it. Masculine and feminine polarized parts of you took on ‘roles’ and frequencies of woundedness AND goodnesses too. Parts of you both rejected and accepted your parent’s templating….some of this inherited energy was put in shadow, some was consciously rejected, some was adapted.
The inner dynamic of polarized masculine and feminine leads to SO MUCH of the less than, lack, settling, codependence, and suffering that people experience in relationships and in their lives and in their souls too. It leads to SO MUCH of the patterns and cycles of loneliness/isolation on one end of the spectrum and clinging/overstaying/settling on the other end of it.
I have seen this so many times in sessions with people recently and over the years….and in my own process too. The inner masculine is often waiting in weary vigilance. The Protector (inner masculine) part of you desires for a release to the amped up state of seeing so much as a threat and for so long anticipating or being in battle. He waits to put down the weapons, to take off the armor, to let down his guard. He doesn’t want to be a ‘warrior’ anymore (not for love or light either). He doesn’t want to be the voice of judgement and criticism anymore.
Your Protector wants to be forgiven for ALL that he feels that he has done ‘wrong’ when he wasn’t able to protect you. He has lost the sense of Divine purpose in it ALL, the choices that you make/made on a Higher Self level to experience all that you have. He feels that so much of what you have experienced in this-life and other lifetimes is HIS fault. He is heavy with this fault and the guilt of it…and the shame too. This heaviness anchors him to 3D timelines and other lifetimes/timelines too.
He is the reluctant babysitter to your sensitive, vulnerable feminine, your Inner Child and Inner Teenager. He has so often been disempowered and disconnected from his authentic voice and capacity to set healthy boundaries for these parts of you. Instead, he is caught up in cycles of perpetuator and victimhood and stuck in traumatic, undigested scenes from your childhood unable to actually help feel and heal the parts of you that are still in trauma.
Healing the inner war is about bringing compassionate love to ALL these parts of you. To feel how it has been for your Protector and to be an energy of forgiveness toward him. To listen to his war battle stories and respond when he tells you about other parts of you that need your love. Giving him something to DO that is healthy and active and brings purpose to your life. Being with the younger parts of you so that he doesn’t have to hold them anymore. Being bigger than him in energy so that he can finally rest from being the guard/warrior and become the guide to you that he is meant to BE.
More about the Protector and other parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
Here is a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Protector and begin this empowering negotiation and with this vital part of you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ciJIvrn0xA&t=1170s
This is the moving into frequencies of inner sacred union and balance. This is what leads to the draw of an outer sacred union with a mate of resonant soul/heart/mind/body energies. Experiencing this primarily from INside of yourself as you understand and feel and heal what had become warlike. Bringing ambassadorship and Divine Mother’s love to even the most polarized of frequencies so that you no longer have to draw and experience them with others as a mirror.
Inner transmutation of polarized gender frequencies is a really vital and important aspect of Ascension. This is what the process looks like on an emotional body, intimate level. This is relational Ascension that allows for experiencing a fulfilling and empowered life in ALL areas of life (not just in the ‘spiritual’ area.) This is personal Ascension that also impacts the collective process on a quantum and archetypal level.
This is BEcoming love as you free up all energies inside of you to express as an unified field of the Infinite Love that you ARE!

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Raphael and I will be talking more about this process of connecting with your Protector during a livestream today at 4:00pm CDT, with the broadcast recording available afterwards on my Jelelle Awen facebook feed and on our SoulFullHeart Experience Youtube Channel.

We support you during 1:1 bridging sessions for $55 USD min. donation with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator to connect with your Protector and heal your inner family: more info here soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-session

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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation with women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

 

 

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Relationships Are A Mirror

By Jelelle Awen

The push and pulls, the mixed feelings, the uncertainties and doubts…..These feelings can SEEM to be so often about circumstances and situations that are outside of you. That person, that relationship, that dynamic….it is easier to focus outside than it is to go inward.

3D life has conditioned you to look outward. 3D reality supports you to project yourself onto others, onto cultures, onto self image-based ‘ideas’ of who you ‘should’ be. This conditioning creates a feeling of not knowing who you are unless it connects to other people. This produces a maleable sense of self represented by a shifting cast of characters/parts covering over core wounds of unworthiness, separation/abandonment, and disconnect.

You may have a Phd in understanding and analyzing other people….your mother, your father, your romantic partner, your friends, your siblings, your teachers, your clients. You may empath other people’s feelings to such a high degree that you BEcome and fuse to their emotional states as if they are your own. You may fixate on other people as the ways and means to obtain happiness and deepen your awakening as if how they are relating with you holds the KEY to how you can be. You may be focused on changing THEM as the way to receive the love you want.

It is challenging to decondition from this 3D focus on the OUTside and other people, yet, during awakening, your soul starts to move your attention INward. With this inward movement, you start to naturally retract away from the previous 3D-based social networks that served to define who you were. Your soul supports you to wake up to see, heal, and feel the traumas that bond you to other people. Your self awareness collaborates with self compassion, self love, and curiosity as you go into a deeper dive into your heart and soul.

You realize, then, that EVERY relationship in your life is a reflection of relationships going on inside of you….from one part of you to another. The polarization with other people represents polarized realities inside of you….the inner child and the inner mother/father, the Punisher and the inner child/inner teenager, the inner feminine and the inner masculine. These parts of you seem to be ‘against’ each other in some way due to not being connected with, seen, and felt. The inner conflicts rage on unfelt and, so, draw the same dynamic on the outside. More about parts/Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

You realize that the outward relationship would not be there if you didn’t need to SEE this inner relationship. Every relationship with another person serves as a mirror in this way. As you become more aware of your inner world and the parts in it, your soul self/5D self coming into your body and waking consciousness can then choose WHAT mirrors it wants to see of itself.

As you heal the inner relationships between parts of yourself, the mirrors represented by others begin to show you ONLY resonance, soul connection, and non-polarized frequencies of love. Then, a healthy sense of unity consciousness can start to transact…love flowing from your open and healing heart/soul/mind to and with the other person’s open and healing heart/soul/mind. You are becoming whole INside and don’t need them to define you in any way. You complement each other rather than compete with each other. Your consciousness can merge together in moments, yet you can still remain individual, sovereign soul sparks.

This is emotionally mature relationality INside and with others. It happens as you connect with each part of you that so needs you and heal the polarized frequencies inside of you. It happens as the integration and unification happening inside of you is able to overflow out to all those you chose to be in relationship with. It happens as you let go of any mirrors and reflections of you that are LESS than the love that you ARE.

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We support you to bridge in self love to parts of yourself during powerful, illuminating 1:1 bridging sessions with me and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/bridging-sessions

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Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of four books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation with women and with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Embrace Rather Than Resist: Nothing Inside Of You Is Truly Negative, Dark, Or Evil

By Jelelle Awen

The pain comes from what has been resisted inside of you rather than embraced. The suffering comes from continual loops that pit one energy inside of you against another one. Resistance is feeling anything as ‘evil’ or ‘dark’ or ‘negative’ inside. Resistance is judging without love your body, your behaviors, your choices, your experiences.
 
Resistance is labeling things as ‘negative entities that attack you’ and then going to battle with them or to war with them (even with ‘light’) or trying to cast them out. Such a long legacy of this approach with roots in exorcisms, some Shamanism that now takes the form in New Age spirituality as ‘implant removals’. This feels like fear trying to fight fear with more fear. This only seems to produce MORE fear inside of you and in response to the outside world.
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome curious, to BEcome loving, to BEcome your own ambassador to ALL the energies inside of you. To see all of what has felt like outside that is ‘doing something bad to you’ as actually coming from INside and that it has been necessary to be there. Each of these energies has stories to tell you, pieces of YOUR puzzle to offer you. While you resist them, while you label them as bad or wrong, while you disown or reject them, while you hold tension and panic in your body, while you respond in flight or fight…..you cannot create and hold the loving space to find out and discover what they are here to offer you. You cannot experience the GIFTS that these energies actually have to offer you.
 
These energies arise from often very intense unhealed polarities from one part of you to another; a dominating masculine and a repressed feminine; a dominating matriarch/inner mother and a repressed sensitive masculine; an inner mother/matriarch or inner father/patriarch and a very sensitive yet rebellious inner teenager. One of the usual dynamics is a rather ruthless feeling Punisher part of you and the corresponding shame/unworthiness that comes up in the inner child and inner Teenager in response to it. Another polarization can be the 3D Self parts that are trying so hard to remain anchored into 3D to be ‘safe’ there and the 4D awakening parts and Metasoul aspects that just want to ascend and yet don’t know how to be a bridge. Aspects from other timelines/lifetimes can be hugely polarized against your reality and everyday ‘modern’ living. More about parts and Metasoul aspects here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts
 
To embrace rather than resist is to BEcome a bridge to all of these polarities. To BE in the middle of them with love, to recognize where the source of them comes from, and to provide love to BOTH sides without actually taking sides. This ambassador YOU is watered by the Divine, who never takes sides, who never sees anything or any BEing or any energy as ‘evil’ or ‘truly negative.’
 
All energies serve a purpose in their creation…..until they are ready to move back into love again for which they are being constantly invited by the Divine to do so.
 
This ambassador YOU is your Divine Self, your Higher Self coming into your body. Your Divine Self can offer a brand NEW reality of acceptance and forgiveness to ALL dynamics and polarities and inner relationships that it finds and discovers. Your Divine Self feels when someone else’s unhealed polarities and fear are being projected onto you. When a healer or teacher has not undergone the deep dive into their emotional body and soul field to heal and feel their own polarities, it is difficult for them to offer you a truly uncharged and loving energy in response to yours. Their unhealed fear inside projects onto you and triggers the parts of you that are also in fear. I have seen trauma created from this in seekers and in teachers/healers that are innocent in one way in perpetuating this unfelt cycle with each other.
 
I know this sounds simple in some ways. Embrace rather than resist. Yet, what is challenging about this is that we haven’t been given the language to describe these dynamics. We haven’t been given a model for how to BE this way with ourselves and ALL parts of ourselves. Instead, we have been fed, bred, and served clashing polarities in our governments, in our parents and families relationships with each other and with us, in our religious and spiritual groups, in our professional and cultural societies. This has been 3D going into 4D, to experience this clash of separation, isolation, competition, contention, insecurity, scarcity, distrust, and lack of surrender and to accept it as ‘normal’ and even necessary.
 
ALL of us have received this conditioning as we have chosen to be here during this phase of Ascension with Gaia. To battle and to fight is ingrained in our Metasouls, where multiple and many timelines are playing out these very inner polarities expressing on the outside. To pick up the sword, to lash out in words, to take sides….this has been our dominant experience in 3D and even going into 4D as well.
 
You have probably put down the swords that parts of you used to take up towards others. You probably have forgiven others in a deeply genuine way.
 
Yet, now, is the turning inward and offering to yourself and ALL parts of you what you have extended to everyone else. Now is self forgiveness and self compassion that FLOODS all parts of you with love that transmutes, that transforms, that brings HOPE and infinite possibilities to every cell in your BEing and every remaining trauma and pain in your emotional body. Now is to BEcome your own love ambassador and bring diplomacy and peace to any warring factions that remain inside your BEing.
 
Now is to embrace rather than resist….inviting it all by love and with love to BEcome love once again.
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We provide support for the arising/rememberance of your ambassador self and a bridge for your connection to all aspects of yourself (led by you) through sessions. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.