Inner & Outer Feminine/Masculine Union Balance

By Jelelle Awen

Oh, how the inner feminine will want to go soft at times. To cry. To grieve. To REALLY feel what is going on that causes her heart to ache. She will BE with the longings and the missing without trying to fix or manage. Then, she can feel judged as oversensitive or too reactive by others and try to suppress her feelings….usually without success and not for very long. She may lash out in frustration, dissatisfaction and sense of injustice that her feelings have not been given enough space when they haven’t within her own heart.


And the inner masculine, then, doesn’t know what to DO with her or how to help. He feels locked in and also locked out, especially if she becomes protective of her feelings and won’t share. He just has an impulse to solve it, as if he could fix himself if he can fix her. He wants to be seen and appreciated by her always for his efforts, yet also fears disappointing her and being inadequate. He resists her tenderness and his own at times, afraid of being hurt again.


This distorted dance of inner feminine and masculine seems to be so common, so conditioned, and modeled for us in so many ways, starting from our own parents. I felt recently new layers of sorting through of the inner masculine and inner feminine dynamics within myself, triggered by being here on these powerful Michael Divine Mascline, and Mary Divine Feminine lines. I have also seen these masculine/feminine sortings out in those in my small community of beloveds, in my relationship with Raphael (although we are in a current blissy merging phase after some initial conflicts when we got here to Avalon) and in women I have met with for sessions recently.


There’s nothing wrong in the push and the pulls, yet it can be challenging when these energies within are not on the same ‘page’, the desires are diverging, and conflict arises. This is the same mixed experience as what so commonly occurs on the outside in relationships as well. I have so learned that experience of relationships with others can’t be shifted into new grounds until it is from within. New and deeper possibilities of intimacy arise initially from within and can then be transacted with others rather than just a focus on the outside dynamics, which is so common.


I always come back to the inner union to see what its status is when there are mixed feelings going on. As I hold space for my inner feminine (however she is needing to show up) and my inner masculine (who is quite soft at this point), they can find their connection with me, the Divine, and each other. They can move into their dance again, in flow, and ultimately….as is always the desire…into balance.


This reunion within then flows into my sacred union relationship with Raphael with new grounds of connection and exploration now possible. One day I am in tears and holding space for my feminine and bridging to my masculine so he can be felt too. And the next, I am in bliss lovemaking and connection energies with Raphael. From within and then out draws the experience of joy, bliss, and balance with a beloved mate that feels like a deep merging even while you remain two separate consciousnesses.

The ache for sacred union is consciously felt in many people…a ‘mate ache’, I have called it. Yet, the desire for inner union of your masculine and feminine may be less known and cultivated. That inner union ache is powerful to follow and does seem to ultimately draw your precious sacred union partner too.

Here is a guided meditation with Raphael and I to connect to your inner masculine and feminine: https://youtu.be/nvi_m4i1KvQ


love,

Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and personal sharings by donation. We will share these Avalon energies that invite the inner masculine/feminine flow. More information at soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls


More information about 1:1 soul initiation/emotional-Karma Trauma healing sessions with me for women over Zoom and here in-person in Glastonbury and with other Facilitators at soulfullheart.org/sessions

The Vulnerability Of The Masculine Relating To The Feminine

by Raphael Awen

The masculine in its ability and desire to provide is a great thing in and of itself, which we all have inside of ourselves regardless of gender.

Where the masculine gets into conflict is when it needs to find, maintain and suppress a dependent feminine in order to keep his gig working. Eventually this comes to a demise and both the masculine and the feminine are afforded an opportunity to restructure – vulnerably admit their fears, needs and desires to find a new way, or at least a completion of the old to eventually allow a new way to arise.
The masculine has a particular challenge in that it was born of a feminine womb and yoni from which it wants and needs to separate, to define itself, to be different enough to create attraction in order to be afforded a partaking of that exquisite feminine while it is trying at the same time to differentiate itself from and pretend to not need.

The more the masculine leads in the world with his power, attainments and capabilities, the more he is trying and still needing/seeking feminine love, as it is only the feminine than can give all that power and attainment meaning, yet he is not quite ready, or sufficiently aware to transparently and open heartedly admit the true nature of that need.

This dynamic takes a quantum leap forward when the masculine is ready to feel, ready to vulnerably admit need and desire to himself, his innerverse, his inner feminine, and then energetically and emotionally to the feminine in his outerverse, his universe – yoniverse.

When you get that sorted a bit, all lovemaking and love getting strategies take care of themselves, effortlessly as you have it aced inside, which is a very cool feeling for the masculine – doing something really stunningly well!

***

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of SoulFullHeart. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The Healing Expressions Of The Rising Sacred Masculine, Pt. 1

An epic SoulFullHeart session with Raphael Awen this weekend. So much so, I will need to write this up in two parts. The first half was a revisiting of my inner masculine part named Marcus. Recently, I have been invited to partake more and more into reintegrating back into service by co-leading with Kalayna Solais a Saturday follow-up discussion group with those that attend the Wednesday Free-To-Be group calls. (For more info on the upcoming series go to soulfullheart.org/freetobe2)

This brought up some prior frequencies within my masculine to show up with some compensatory energy, meaning a little more energized and outbound due to some underlying feeling of inadequacies within him to be a leading edge part of this group. What came up for him was an image of a bull in a china shop. Like he is not sure how to be in a space when things get tender. My feminine is quite capable of holding that space, but Marcus, when he is ‘up’, can be a little more mental in those moments without letting the feeling just do the ‘talking’. 

He began to wonder, “What then is appropriate masculinity?”. That was a portal question to what feels like a grappling of the wounded masculine’s relationship to the feminine, as well as a reaction to what is referred to as ‘toxic masculinity’. There is this fine line of wanting to be in balance and honor with the feminine, express and claim his power and intuitions while avoiding this ‘toxic’ distinction. 

The first thing that was brought to him is that just this very question alone suggests his reverence for the feminine and the holding of the sacred space. It also mirrors a long-standing notion that the feminine is fragile. This was deeply ingrained in me from early on in my life as my mother was a very sensitive and emotional woman in the despair direction. This set up an unhealthy dynamic between her and my inner child that he had to make sure not to ‘hurt mom or else who knows what would happen to her’. 

Well, through much of my healing and experience with other powerful women, I recognized that this was a part of her wounded inner child tugging on my inner child. This ended up transmuting into recycled alcoholism and I eventually had to say no more. I had given all I could until it was clear I had to cut the cord of this dynamic. This has played out in multiple Metasoul timelines as well in regards to feelings of guilt and shame over how I had participated in the suppression and persecution of the women. 

Interesting that I find myself within a more feminine offering to explore and heal all of these wounds and beliefs that I have had around the Feminine itself and women in general. It inversely leads me to more of my own masculine expression as I connect with the relationship to my own feminine and how She is a portal into my sacred masculinity and my Love ambassadorship. But I have had to go here first. To my inner masculine and hash out these old dynamics and create a safe environment to let his masculine flourish like the wild stallion he is and wants to be. 

It felt appropriate to share this after Mother’s Day as a reminder that the relationship to Mom is an integral part of any man’s journey. It really needs to be brought into consciousness so that we can truly see and feel how we relate to Womankind and the Sacred Feminine. Thanks so much for taking this in and I hope that it shines some awareness and questions for your own journeys. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a SoulFullHeart Facilitant and Collaborator.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Freeing The Inner Masculine From Enslavement To Joyful Embodiment

The Inner Masculine journey of healing is ongoing. Getting to know mine more and more each day has been a gift for both of us. Some days he feels light and airy, other days things just start to pile up one right after another. After having another session with Raphael a couple of days ago, we felt with my Inner Masculine how tired and in fear he has been most of this life. These feelings have been assuaged by lots of problem solving, working, busyness, and information gathering. Sex may have been the one thing that brought any relief, even if that feeling was short-lived.

As we continued to feel with my Inner Masculine, Raphael asked him what would be his ultimate expression if all of those overlording conditions were not present. His response was simply ‘Joy’. Unadulterated joy. That and unending acts of creation and service to others. Joy is a frequency that has been an elusive state of being most of my life. I have felt happy, content, and joyful in moments both short and long-term, but to really have an anchor in a Joy state while still feeling what is real in all moments, seems almost like a pipe dream to him.

What is authentic and genuine Joy as a core place rather than some elusive response based on external conditions? “Your guess is as good as mine!”, he wants to say. Yet there is a very visceral desire and awareness that this state does, in fact, exist. It is being broadcast by my Higher Self and the Divine. So he senses the home frequency, he just hasn’t been able to leave his country of condition to land in his country of origin.

As a tap into my Metasoul around this, as I did on the last SoulFullHeart Free To Be call, I can feel an enslavement consciousness, whereby I can see and feel both the slave holder and the slave. Both are actually held in tyranny. One on the outside and the other from within. The consciousness prevails over both. As the slave holder could feel this, he realized how this energy is a self-fulfilling loop and nobody gets anywhere from it. It is the proverbial self-made prison we create and we are given plenty of evidence that this is alive and well from the outside world.

The masculine has been in such darkness for so long. There is such a passionate desire to break those energetic chains and its punishing consciousness. To raise the sword of our power and cut those chains from within and release the enslavement into enheartenment. Release the Inner Child and the Inner Feminine so they can lead this masculine into the promised land of Joy, Abundance, and Service with Love. That is the daily ‘work’. That is the place where true alchemy can manifest our heaven on earth from within.

*****

You can still join us for our ongoing six week group call series Free To Be: Navigating the 3D Matrix to New Earth Transition. Our next group call is this Wednesday, April 22nd at 10:00am PDT in which we will discuss navigating relationships during this time, including sharings about the Inner Punisher and meditation to connect to your current relationships and shift to 5D sense of them. You can receive the recordings of any group calls you may have missed and the zoom link to join future ones at any time by open donation. There is more info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Message Of Compassionate Forgiveness From Yeshua

Happy Easter! This week we have a few digestions to share with some beautiful frequencies and offerings from Yeshua and some other energy updates as well. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Jelelle Awen which she wrote on Good Friday. In it, she channels a much needed and desired message from Yeshua about compassionate forgiveness:

“When upcoming disclosure brings you to hear about and feel sometimes very dark actions from what seems like ‘evil’ and ‘enemies’ and energies that are difficult to love, I am inviting you to remember that while one seeks vengeance against another without first seeking to understand and forgive themselves AND the other, the cycle of suffering continues. You will be moved to hate and fight, and I am inviting you to love instead.”

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday. It’s already week three! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will be talking about how this life and other lifetime experiences of collapse can bleed through at this time, along with primal fears and the original separation wound from the Divine. You will connect with your Inner Child and/or Inner Orphan to provide support and love to them, in addition to aspects from lifetimes that have experienced collapses/plagues/starvation, etc. to offer love to them during the guided meditation.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com/freetobe

There is a brand new video and guided meditation this week, led by Raphael and Jelelle Awen, and held as a sacred service for Easter Sunday. During this live stream recording, you connect with death and rebirth codes and they respond to your questions and also offer a reading of a Yeshua compassionate forgiveness message. They offered a guided meditation to connect to the available death and resurrection codes that offer a bridge into 5D New Earth/Indwelling Christ activation of “I AM the Light of the World”.

There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well SoulFullHeart Facilitants, Kalayna Solais, Gabriel Heartman, and Deva Yasmin. They are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Jelelle works with women only. More info here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Check out the latest Museletter here.

The Unraveling And Balancing Of The Inner Masculine

The masculine in us all can be a complex creature even underneath what can appear to be a simplified projection. Its laser pointed directive and ability to navigate so much on the 3D plane has so many benefits and qualities that are so needed in our daily lives.

Yet when that very focus finds itself tied in knots due to overwhelm, judgement, and uncertainty it really needs the feminine to come in and hold space for its unraveling. This is where the masculine gets to feel what he has been truly been holding, and simultaneously not feeling.

Since my induction back into the SoulFullHeart world, as well as the flipping of my previous script due to the feardemic, my masculine has been on a bit of unbalanced ground. While so very grateful for being back in the orbit of soul family and choosing to stay here in Victoria during this time, my inner masculine has been trying to navigate two worlds at once.

One world, the 3D world, is represented by online teaching work and making sense of what the next timeline is going to look and feel like so he can activate the usual levers and pulleys that make it all sail with minimal discomfort and chaos.

The other world, the 4D/5D world, is one that has him on the ropes half the time. It is a world of trust, surrender, and inherent joy and he just doesn’t know how to fit into that sometimes. He says, “Just give me something to do, and I will do it!”. As I connect with myself from this world, I can feel his anxiety and his discombobulation. So I breathe with him.

When we sit in rest together, just being and feeling, the anxiety bubbles and then pops into vulnerability. Into tears. Into the feeling that he is not enough. Into a feeling that he is feeling like he is losing his ability to ‘hold it all together’ in the face of so much change, momentum, and goodness.

The feminine in me comes to his aid and just sits with him. She invites him to lean in when he has felt like he has had to be the lead all the time. She is not looking for a warrior or a soldier, she is looking for his truth. His needs. His real-ity. That is his royalty.

As the tears flowed and the energy of all that he has been holding for the past several months came to the surface, a calm came into his being. Not a cure, but a calm. He knows he still has things to feel. Things to continue to let go and let in. He so much wants to be a King to her Queen.

The first step is admitting when he doesn’t feel this way and that it is okay. This is where she comes in to hold that space for him to arise anew. To be resurrected from an old way of being in the world. For that world is dying, and he is being reborn into his sacred service of heart-centered leadership.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a facilitant, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling Your ‘Circum-Stances’ And Desires With Your Inner Masculine

The ‘circum-stances’ of your life as you know it today is literally a standing stone circle of what you know as your ‘surroundings’.

Like Stonehenge is a wonder of how it came to be, so is this personal circle – created as both a mirror and a portal by parts of you and your Metasoul aspects. A mirror that tells the honest truth of what is, how it came to be, and a portal (Merkabah vehicle) to what honestly wants to be.

When you feel and bridge to the polarity of both your desires and despair, coming from your parts and Metasoul aspects, you create sacred movement to new circumstances that you are now willing to dream as possible; that you were willing to feel the IMpossibility of; and bridge between. You make the discordant resonant.

Your Inner Masculine wants to get on with this new mandate, but may feel stuck and in need of your heart presence and awakening. Settling for a spirituality that makes desire bad, or ‘of the ego’ is one sure way to neuter your Inner Masculine, who is so deeply needed right now. Just ask your Inner Feminine is that’s true. ‘De-sire’ literally means ‘from the sire’. What is your masculine wanting to sire into your life? Is your Inner Feminine ready to dance?

Your Inner Masculine wants to get practical – wants to engage in doing, acting, effecting and accomplishing, and he wants to dance with and do it for your Inner Feminine – how do you express that as you ascend out of 3D and move towards 5D?

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@kmitchhodge

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Empowering The Inner Masculine, Feeling What You Really Want

by Raphael Awen

Time now to think about everywhere you’ve given or are giving away your power.

Remaining in unaddressed anxiety over money or debt, under its suppression, is giving away your power.

Remaining loyal to an old set of values thinking that is one’s path to the good life or a better life is giving away your power.

Remaining grounded in someone else’s truth that isn’t yours (ie. all social pretense of dead relationships, compliance with others or the government’s rules or laws, that oppose your truth is giving away your power.

What do you really want?

How are you going about owning that?

Who really knows your truth? Who needs to know it? Who doesn’t?

This is the empowered masculine arising within you. He knows that in the end, you can and will have what you actually want. He just needs reassurance that you are ready to have the truer things of what you really want. He doesn’t want to be your downfall. He doesn’t really want a shitstorm of reaction either from any part of you that might well get upset about losing their comforting game of victimhood. He wants to provide and he wants to be acknowledged. That’s what he’s built for. It’s up to you to lead the show, and then he can show up for a game truly worth playing.

You host this new game by beginning to feel what’s really going on inside, awakening your Inner Masculine, and awakening a swooning Inner Feminine. From there, anything and everything will change at a pace that can be negotiated and self-loving, without needing to disown anything, without needing to deny anything.

This is the opportune time that is here now where the game isn’t only changing but being reinvented by you and I as we come to terms with what we really want.

Jelelle Awen and I would be so honored and blessed if you would come join us for a six-week group exploration over Zoom starting next Wednesday, April 1st at 10:00am PDT (Vancouver, Canada time) with teachings and guided meditations from us and space for individual sharings! The calls are two hours, by donation and whatever you can afford to give at this time of deep money transition for many.

You can join us live and you can also receive the recordings at any time after the calls. We have some amazing soul family already signed up to come to this and we see a virtual community forming around these calls of resonance and support…MUCH needed during this time of so much shifting timelines and possibilities!

Details here on FB at https://www.facebook.com/events/1095703627430395/
and at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/Freetobe

You can offer donations through our shop at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop or via paypal: paypal.me/jelelleawen

Much love to you during this time of dynamic transition into the NEW!

~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Heart-warm Closure With The Men Of My ‘Past’

by Kalayna Solais

Last night before going to sleep, some really sweet energies moved through my heart space that I so wasn’t expecting, but I welcomed it all fully. I felt invited to think about the men I’ve been with or ‘almost’ been with in romantic relationships. The ones who parts of me felt rejected by for some reason, the ones who kept me in the “friend zone”. The ones I made love with or talked about making love with. The ones I wanted to marry. The one I did. The ones I “friend-zoned” and sometimes felt confused about. The handsome ones… well, they were all handsome, let’s be honest. And I loved all of them.

In all of this I felt how much I STILL love them. And a genuine appreciation for them, and whatever relationship we had or didn’t have. I learned a lot from each of them. And somehow, up until last night, parts of me and Metasoul aspects in other lifetimes too, felt primarily rejected or cast aside or ignored… or simply unworthy, not good enough, and made it seem to themselves like these patterns of “not ever” being with a deeply passionate man who can truly meet me in all ways, “stay in the room” with me, explore his King’s leading and trailing edges while I explore my Queen’s, would last forever.

There’s no romantic companion in my field at the moment. No prospects or crushes beyond the etheric ‘mate’ I can sometimes see and feel. Yet, I felt guided to keep feeling this through. And for the first time, I could see not only the gift of each of these connections I’ve had, but the gift of ME that’s come out of each of them and the ways in which they were each able to adore and love me, no matter how complicated it was or wasn’t between us on a romantic or even just a friendship level. My own Inner Masculine took notes throughout all of these connections, I’ve realized, and decided from each of them what he would take with him and what he would help me say “no” to in the future, even within him, himself, in my relationship to him as an Inner Father, Protector, and Mate too.

My personal process is so deep for me that no matter what happens in my life, I “mine” it for the golden nuggets, the exquisite diamonds, of personal growth and healing on a heart and soul level. I have looked deep into the mirrors of all of these relationships with still more layers emerging, and I’ve been willing to let that show me what the truth of ME has been throughout it all; which parts of me were hiding or activated and where/why, which Metasoul aspects were feeling the pain and the sting (and also the joy and lust) in their own timelines.

All of this exploration has been rich beyond measure and I’m still reaping the rewards of these inward journeys. It’s because of this work that I’m able to, for the very first time, HONESTLY say “I am GRATEFUL for it all… for every cut, every bruise… every loving touch, every hug and kiss… every unconscious choice and every conscious one too.” If any of these men are reading this (many of them probably won’t because I’m not connected to them anymore… but I know their Higher Selves are listening and feeling this) I want them to know how much I can feel the adoration I and parts of me have always had for them on many levels, even with the impact we had on each other and the fear-based choices that sometimes overtook the love-based ones. We’ve helped shape each other into the people we are now and I know in my soul that I needed every single one of you.

Maybe now we can move even more fully into whatever is next for all of us.

Much love to you as these Valentine’s Day energies bring out whatever you may need or want to feel through in your own romantic life or even just with regard to the Sacred Union within…

Kalayna

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart facilitant, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Exploring Inner Masculine & Feminine Relationship – Women’s Group Call Today Or Receive Recording W/Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen
Still time to join us for our Sacred Feminine Arising exploration women’s group call over Zoom at 10:00am PDT (Vancouver time today)! As always, the content and exploration is becoming clearer to me as I am getting ready for it. I am going to focus on the relationship between our inner masculine (as women) and how that relates to the arising (or not) of our inner feminine essence. Much of even what can seem ‘feminine’ is actually a masculinized feminine or warrior, matriarchal or non-vulnerable Priestess energy.
I’m going to share about my years-long journey in healing parts of my Inner Masculine and especially working with my Gatekeeper aspect for many years until he ‘ascended’ to a higher frequency some years ago now. I will talk about the different types of inner masculine/feminine relationship dynamics that I have seen over the years in myself and those women I have held space for as well. I will then lead you into a guided meditation to meet/connect with your Inner Masculine in relationship to your Inner Feminine to deepen the connection and association there.
If you can’t join us live, you are welcome to receive the recording afterwards as well. More info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/939184226480490/
You can join us by offering a $15 CAD ($11 USD) donation by purchasing here: https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/product-page/sacred-feminine-exploration-women-s-group-calls-jelelle-kalayna
Or via paypal here and I will send you the zoom link: paypal.me/jelelleawen
Love,
Jelelle Awen