Tag: Inner Masculine

2023: Year Of Movement/Healing For The Masculine & His Feminine Counterpart

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

“Pure feminine vulnerability has the power to change the world… And masculine vulnerability will respond to that with all its heart.”  ~ Yeshua 

I felt this message from Yeshua as we entered 2021 and it still feels true to me as we enter into 2023. I get the sense that 2023 will be a powerful year of masculine awakening and sacred masculine consciousness deepening. I also get the sense that as feminines, there is a LOT to show up for in this with men, for men, starting with our own inner masculines and extending outward. 

As I feel the precious men who are so dear to me in this community, I feel how much they’ve needed feminine forgiveness inside and out, to feel a reconciliation with Divine Mother, to feel how amazing they truly are despite so many Matrix/False Light Matrix messages that tell them they aren’t showing up enough. As I feel my inner masculine who wants to deepen his sense of sacred union with my feminine aspects, of which there is quite a range of expression, I feel he’s not only needed their forgiveness but also their compassion, their understanding, and for them to own their own sides of the clashes they’ve been in in order for him to find his true freedom of expression in his own right.

The ‘toxic’ masculine is really a hijacked consciousness of the masculine… hedonistic, greedy, self-absorbed, self-righteous, battling, and lost. Yet, these don’t need to be judgements, only seeds of accountability, and the feminine has had her own version of this too. The hijacked feminine has been just as suppressive toward the masculine at times as perhaps his energies have been toward her and she has had her own journey to be on around truly feeling and healing these frequencies. 

I feel this year will be more about recognizing and reconciling than previous years have been, though this has been a truly ongoing process. I feel the love that wants to flow between genders/souls and yet has been stymied, pressurized, and again, hijacked by Matrix/False Light energies that want to tell you what’s true rather than encourage you to discover it, to truly feel and embody it for yourself, and to deeply let yourself/parts/aspects in as you continue to let others in. 

In this upcoming 2023 process, we’ll be challenged by intimacy, by truly wanting and needing to see and feel each other. We’ll have the potential to find more alignment than ever before and yet, this won’t be a road paved by ideals and fairytales, and instead will need to be bushwhacked by our realness and vulnerability at times, while at other times it will be a surprisingly easy flow!

To truly feel our oneness, we must embrace our two-ness, our dance together, our love for and with each other that is becoming more freed up as we free ourselves from within. 

I feel my own inner masculine and feminines in this dance, finding their way to their own sense of union, and getting ready to embrace each other more as this year unfolds. I feel the Divine support of it all, of feeling the pain they share and the goodness too, of feeling their expressions coming forward in even more organic and authentic ways. And I look forward to experiencing how this will open up and impact my relationships on the outside – the ones I hold dear now, and the ones that are still to arrive.

Sending so much love to you on this New Years Eve day… May this portal and transition be one held with love, care, and compassion for yourself and others, for the masculine and feminine within and without. 

Love,

Kasha 

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Quest Into The Dark

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

A part of us has created a safe space, a known space, even if what is known is suffering. The light and warmth of this space keeps him there. Anchored to the perimeter of its glow. Yet, from time to time, or maybe all the time, a voice calls out from the darkness, from the Shadow. 

It may start off small but then grows in intensity. How that shows up for each of us is different. It may be a physical message, a mental chatter, or an emotional surge. Whatever the case, it is calling to us to enter the forgotten, the repressed, and the hidden. 

The Quest into our shadowlands is our quest for the Holy Grail of our Truth, Authenticity, and Vulnerability. It is a different kind of lightless fire that forges something long cast aside. Something we had only dreamed of or desired while staring into the fire of our comfort or suffering. 

There is a whole world in that darkness. A world we are being called to light the flames of once again. A world that holds us responsible for its tending and expansion. A new order that is created by facing our fears, our needs, our pain, and our passion. 

Along the way, we confront and meet the parts and aspects of us that have been living in these hinterlands, not so far from the edge of our campfire. As we meet and hold space for their healing and integration, we are ready for whatever comes next in the time and pace it is meant to. We are not hunting in the shadow, we are calling out to it with care and curiosity. If we are on the offense, they will be on the defense. 

With each new connection and healing a bond is formed inside that had been severed. An extension of the old fire is created and the expansion of the inner kingdom is claimed. We become ambassadors to our Shadow and the Darkness within, then the benevolent king of their new world that is encased in the SoulFire. 

The journey begins by our desire, need, and call to be the most authentic and divinely aligned version of ourselves. Only then will we experience true sovereignty of this human incarnation. We chose this, so let’s claim it. Shadow and All.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for men. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org/soulfire for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Wounded, The Wild, And The Feminine

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

This past week I moved to a new flat in another village here in Central Portugal not too far from my soul fam. It is a fresh start as I am literally the first tenant of this remodeled schist house. It is a blend of modern and historical, the natural and the practical, the masculine and the feminine. This feels like a great place for some deep reconciliation work inside of me.

Since the completion of my relationship with Kasha, I have been leaning on the practical side of myself. I talked about this in my last post. Now that things have settled, I can feel where I am needing to recalibrate myself to both my wildness and my inner feminine, as well as a blend of the two. The practical and wounded masculine part of me needs them deeply.

It is in the reintegration of these aspects of me that can support the healing and transformation of my wounded and tired matrix masculine. There is much to atone for in my departure from these energies inside of me that have always wanted a seat at the table yet have been resisted for many reasons that I am still delving into.

So much unworth has been cast onto and into the collective masculine heart. The history of its need to be closed off and in control. The deep fear of intimacy that can feel like an existential annihilation of its wounded egoic tendencies. So much clinging to provision, accomplishment, accumulation, and ‘freedom’. I put that in quotes as I feel there is a wounded relationship to freedom that actually pushes away at intimacy.

It is in this coming to terms with our own wildness and our feminine, that we can start to sense the wider aperture of our true masculine being. Our expression in the world and investment in relationships become renewed, remastered, and reborn. They become our guiding lights, our course-correctors, and our allies. They give us the courage and compassion to delve deep into that wounded and giant heart of ours.

I look forward to what arises in myself and with others as I continue this ongoing exploration inside of myself with this process of meditation, journaling, sessions, feeling, and intimate relationship with community and the Divine. It offers so much in the way of personal understanding, maturation, expansion, inner peace and Love. This is why I share my experience for others that resonate and may get something from it for themselves, as well as an invitation to start your own inner healing journey.

Much love to all of you brave hearts and souls that are choosing the path of most resistance…the path back to intimacy inside and out.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Sept 17, 2022

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

Feeling your Inner Masculine as a woman is a powerful, multi-faceted experience! Tomorrow, Sept 18th at 5pm WEST (Lisbon/London)/ 12pm EDT/ 9am PDT, Jelelle and Kasha will be leading a women’s call focused on connecting with your inner masculine in any expression he currently has. You can donate to attend live and/or receive the recording via our shop or PayPal and we will email you the Zoom link and recording after the call.

If you’d like more information on any of our upcoming group calls, visit our Events page.

There are a few new writings to take in this week, featuring some messages from the Divine and star family too, poetry, and other heartfelt sharings.

There is also a brand new guided meditation video from Kasha, focused on creating a ‘Safe Haven’ within you where you/parts of you can return to whenever they want to, yet especially during those times when life on the outside seems unsafe or unstable in any way.

You can find our current Museletter here.

If you’d like to subscribe to receive our Museletters and other announcements in your own inbox, you can do so on our website or you can scroll to the bottom of this issue and click “subscribe”.

Much love from all of us!

~ the SoulFullHeart Community

Feeling & Honouring The ‘Inner Masculine/King’ Within The Feminine

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

Kings on the outside are returning to themselves. Men are awakening to their masculine core essences. They’re playing in the polarities they need to in order to discover themselves anew and reclaim their Kingship. There’s a lot to this process for the masculine that we as feminines can’t totally understand, except we ARE afforded a portal of some understanding through feeling our own inner masculine aspects/parts, who are in a similar process at times. 

Actually, the feminine equivalent of this process for men is a reclaiming of our Queen. She is an energy of benevolence but also has deep pain and often quite the missing of an authentic masculine counterpart – a King – in order to truly experience herself AS a Queen. Yes, I AM saying that as women we do need the masculine in our lives, in our hearts, in our bodies… as beautiful and necessary as our independence also is. 

Enter now the process of feeling your inner masculine, or you could say, your inner King. This process now offers a way for your Queen to show up in relationship to a King energy, even if it’s polarized for a while as the aches and pains of want, desire, and deep hurt now surface more so than they could have before. 

Having recently been in a long term Sacred Union bond, I can say without hesitation that my Queen got to blossom because of relating to the masculine on the outside. Also though, I couldn’t have drawn this opportunity without first having had a lot of process ground with masculine energies inside of me. I’ve experienced and felt the polarized reactions in the inner world… the hesitations and hang-ups, the love and the fighting for more love. Even today I feel there’s some tension in moments between my masculine and feminine energies, yet most of the time it feels like there’s more harmony and understanding there, more feeling of each other, and more overall unity/oneness.

I so deeply welcome you to join me and Jelelle Awen as we co-lead an upcoming women’s call focused on this process of feeling your inner masculine! It’s by donation and if you can’t attend live you’ll receive the recording, though I highly recommend coming live if you can as the womb room we create together as a group is always warm and inviting!

You can donate by visiting our shop here: soulfullheart.org/shop or via PayPal: paypal.me/jelelleawen

I’ll include the call description below so you can take in some more details about where we’re going with this one.

Love,

Kasha ♥️

~

Description: 

The Inner Masculine within a woman has many different expressions as a very sacred part/energy of our inner worlds. This range of expression can move from highly protective, fatherly energies that can be punishing to more of an ‘ideal masculine mate’ in pursuit of the feminine. The inner masculine is an aspect/part that helps women navigate the patriarchal frequencies of the Matrix in whatever ways he feels are necessary. This can sometimes bring out something overbearing in him, though he can also feel quite defeated and deflated too, especially if he hasn’t been able to help or offer support in the way he’d most like to, or helped you/parts of you avoid difficult or dark situations.

Having an intimate relationship with your Inner Masculine as a woman, whether you are single or in union with a mate, helps to illuminate your relationship to the Divine Masculine/Father expressions of the Divine. You can get a sense then of why you may feel blocked to letting them in as well as why there may be a pattern of difficult or even non-existent relationships with men on the outside. Connecting deeply with the Inner Masculine offers us (and them) so many layers of healing from the impact of other men, whether mates, fathers or other authority figures, which eventually and ideally leads to a deep forgiveness that makes room for a whole NEW experience of the masculine inside and out.

In a two-hour women’s group call on Sunday, September 18th at 5:00/17:00pm WEST (Lisbon/London)/12:00pm EDT/9:00am PDT, SoulFullHeart Sacred Feminine Teachers and Facilitators Jelelle Awen and Kasha Rokshana will explore connecting with the Inner Masculine through sharing our personal journeys and also experiences in supporting women through our SoulFullHeart quantum healing process. We will share about how through a personal relationship with your Inner Masculine, you will also come to know your feminine parts/aspects in a whole new way and on a new ground of beginning or deepening your Inner Sacred Union, which moves between your masculine and feminine parts, as well.

During this call, we will co-lead a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Masculine with the support of Divine Masculine guides, who will help hold space for this exploration and invite your masculine part(s) into a nourishing and empowering energy where they can be real and even vulnerable. You will meet with your Inner Masculine however he is expressing at this time, and feel into the relationship he currently has with your feminine parts. We will also repeat affirmations as mantras together to recode our relationships between us and our Inner Masculine individually and together as women.

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

The Sirian Gateway, The Feminine Rising, & The End Of A Great Cycle

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Cycles are ending and beginning. Small ones and big ones. Many of which are happening at this grand juncture of time. A coalescence of all that began a decade ago for many, including myself. I had chosen to feel and heal all that had been haunting me in my emotional and spiritual bodies. Haunting in a suffering sense as well as a calling and longing for something ‘brand new’ from my 3D perspective at the time.

Yet, it was never really new, I was just longing for Me. Longing for my needs, my truth, my gifts, my creativity, my power, and my service for and with the Divine. I know that is a lot of ‘my’s but it needed to be. Parts of me needed the permission to want something more for themselves than what they had created even as good as it was from a particular vantage point.

I am still unfolding this Me into the world. This unfettered power of realness, desire, and purpose. Just like the proverbial Russian doll. Or the ever-peeling onion. One cycle, one gateway, one portal at a time. This particular junction has been a doozy for me personally, and I know for many of you as well. So much is getting shaken and stirred that it has been hard at times to know which way is up or where the North Star is. Of course it is always within, but when we get knocked sideways we may get our bearings off-kilter.

It has been about riding the waves in whatever fashion they come without judgement or expectation. The Divine Feminine is rising, is becoming more embodied, and that is creating ripples and waves in the Masculine. My masculine has been on the edge at times and it has been a little crazy-making to be honest. A vibration that is poulticing out so much in the shadow and all that has been suppressed.

If there is any ounce of control or fear, this energy WILL find it and seek its reconciliation back to a state of Grace and Love. It is not forcing, it is just a reality of what IS. We cannot hide from ourselves and our rightful gifts and service any more. We are being asked to embody our deepest selves with compassion and passion both. There is only one world that we wish to be in and that is in the world of realness and love. Real Love. That feels like what is at the root of this Lion’s Gate passage.

I will be exploring and writing more about my own masculine experience of this ongoing Divine Feminine rising and how we as men may be responding to it either consciously or unconsciously. That feels like my greatest service to myself and to others who resonate. We are getting shaken and stirred and we are all relating to it differently. I hope that it will be a service to women as well who find themselves in connection to men who may be struggling. May it provide a perspective and an understanding from my own personal heart and soul lens.

Sending you so much love as we navigate and support each other through this very turbulent yet alive time in our history.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Being Spiritually Practical

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Am I being spiritually practical or practically spiritual?

That is the question I have been asking myself lately as I am navigating another life change at the moment. The Sirian Gateway is stirring the pot again and that has left some practical things to consider while at the same time letting them unfold.

When I have been met by big life changes, parts of me can get swirled up in a lather. I drew the picture below many years ago when another life change happened. It was quite the cacophony of energy that got kicked up. When there is no differentiation of particular parts it is all felt as a giant storm at times. Yet, there are individual aspects that are floating around in there getting battered and bruised.

I have felt my more ‘practical’ parts or aspects come to take over the situation like a tactical team of experts that come repelling from the skies to manage it all. I am grateful for that team. I need them. Yet, I realize how much in my past I have fused to that energy at the cost of my emotional and spiritual bodies. One big brain walking around until it exploded or passed out.

When I was in my 20s I had hallucinogenic drugs for the first time and they tore down the more mental and practical veil I had clung to like a safety net or security blanket. I realized I had a ton of fear and anxiety that I was managing with the mental and the practical. I was also preventing Love from entering my inner house at the same time to help heal that well of fear and anxiety.

Fast forward 30 years and I don’t feel the same depths of that fear and anxiety as much, but it is still there waiting for me to continue to meet it and Love it. I still feel my tactical practical team coming in, but I am wanting to take a breather to feel what has seemed to get set aside in those moments. Is there something deeper to feel here? Can I take a moment to take stock of this big change happening before me? What is mystical and emotional amongst it all?

This has just been one of my personal tendencies this life. I don’t want to judge it or make it wrong. I just want to recognize it, sense its gifts, as well as its burdens. For carrying the practical can be a burden to parts of us. As a man, this may come at the cost of my inner child and inner feminine. Two aspects that are intrinsically connected to my Heart and Spirit.

I am still walking and waking out of the matrix. It has been ingrained and conditioned in me for a lifetime and beyond. It is true for many of us, especially the masculine. It takes the time it takes to keep untangling and unfurling our wings. The courage we can receive from our Sirian guides and aspects can be a big part of this ongoing process that continues well beyond any Gateway. It is internal and eternal.

I am looking forward to connecting to these energies more this Monday when Raphael and Jelelle Awen host their Lion’s Gate Activation group call. Even if you can’t make it I highly recommend getting that recording for the recoding. More info on our events page here: www.soulfullheart.org/events.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Feeling Easter As Your Own Death & Rebirth Process

Published on by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

This has been a very rumbly week leading up to Easter. There has been a churning of death and rebirth going on inside and out. My sacred union with my beloved Kasha has been put to the ‘test’, so to speak, with so much new ground needing an old ground to burn away in order to come into our next level of conscious romance and leadership.

I have needed to be ‘off’ social media to let all of this digest and find its way inside of me. It has been about continuing to find my voice, speak my truth and needs, as well as feeling the fear of doing so. It is this truth that can change so much. It creates and it destroys, but not necessarily in the way that a part of us may feel like it will. It is this fire that is meant to be alchemical and not necessarily harmful.

I was starting to feel the ways in which this fear is more about embodying our true power in the world and what that can actually create. If power and truth in our soul history has been experienced or judged as a ‘negative’, then we will inevitably find a way to suppress said power. We will remain in a push-pull around it. Deeply wanting and needing it, while hiding it at the same time. This creates suffering rather than movement.

This power has been held as a control mechanism inside of me. A way to manage and maintain a particular consciousness while my soul and the Divine are strongly, yet lovely, inviting me into something more essential, more real. Something long forgotten or buried. This is where a tight grip has formed or an anxious fear of surrender. I realized how much a part of me has still clung to this control structure.

In meditation I saw a sand castle on top of a stream. The foundation of this sand castle was collapsing into the stream. The castle was starting to crumble and I could feel parts of me trying to build it back up with more sand in order to keep it up. There was a tiredness in that. A readiness to let go while fearing the unknown of it all. I felt the stream as the Divine Itself, as Love, as the Tao. It just wants me to be the stream. Be in active surrender to where it is meant to take me even if I can’t see around the bend or it winds up in rapids.

It is my vulnerability and truth that keeps me afloat. It is what allows me to flow with my currency and is my true power. That stored up power in the castle just changed form and into embodiment. As the castle fully collapsed, I shed tears. I felt myself collapse into the flow of Love. I felt baptized and renewed. I felt a new connection with Kasha and myself.

As a result, I found myself realizing I needed to go back to my previous name of Gabriel. A lot has moved for me since trying on Aurius, but Gabriel is the essence of who I am in my soul. It is my Divine name. I just needed to flush some things out and reboot it. My beloveds also have an affinity for Gabriel and so that was enough for me to choose to go back. I will keep Amara as my last name, however. It has a frequency I love. It represents my inner feminine.

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me, and I hope that it has a service to you in all that you may be going through at this time. I am always here to facilitate and hold-space for this process that has taken me to new worlds and embodied awarenesses inside of myself in deep terrain. It is alchemical and transformative.

Much love to you this Easter weekend and may you meet your next death and rebirth cycle with grace, compassion, and courage.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Letting Go Of Illusions To See And Feel What’s REAL Inside And Out

Published on by Kasha RokshanaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rokshana

Illusion must dissolve so reality can resolve.

These are the words that come to me as I feel my own ongoing process of healing, Ascension, and service, yet also as I feel the global process happening now for the same.

The illusions dissolving for parts of me are so multi-layered and multi-dimensional too. I feel facades melting down from how my feminine parts have related to the masculine and to romance and even to their own spirituality. For them and for me, this is a whole other level of growth, of fading childhood and moving into true womanhood from the inside out. I feel my masculine parts seeing and feeling how they’ve related to my feminine ones, either with some sort of suppression and punishment-type frequencies, or, even with caretaking/enabling instead of genuinely caring for and feeling them.

These inner dynamics are reflected in my outer reality, in my relationship with men AND women, and what moves between myself and those I’m closest to or even those I’m meeting for the first time. Sometimes the reflections are subtle and sometimes they are so big that it takes a while to really look at all of the machinations involved!

I feel all of my parts having deep and precious realizations of how they’ve related to life itself too, the different levels of emotional and spiritual immaturity that is moving away from being bubbled-off about actual reality now. I don’t feel any self-judgement as I name and own this ‘immaturity’, as it feels like we all have that and are working it, just at different levels and in unique phases of growth too.

Without a doubt, we’re ALL being faced with our own immaturity now. We’re experiencing outcomes and consequences that come directly from what we haven’t been ready or able to SEE let alone FEEL inside of ourselves, let alone in the systems and ways of life that we have allowed to continue and live through us. It’s quite a shift we’re experiencing into an underbelly of humanity’s shadow that has always been there, yet while enamoured and involved with the illusion overlaying this underbelly, we haven’t been able to truly see and bring love to what has been true all along.

There is a whole upgrade needed in human consciousness that is still being worked and isn’t actually a given, at least not en masse, yet it’s the reason why we’re here and why we’re being invited to soberly see what’s real. A big part of this is definitely the need to feel the value of deep inner work and allowing love to support us in that. This is a bit of a thing for the parts of us who have worked so hard to stay above board and somewhat bubbled-off from what the reality around us is constantly offering us all. They, especially the Inner Protector, have often had to do this in order to protect the preciousness, purity of essence, and innocence within that can be so greatly impacted by seeing and feeling the world in the state it’s in currently… and our roles within that.

This is what changes our inner worlds as much as our outer one, through the deepening of our inner intimacy and self-love and overflowing that to our relationships and encounters on the outside. This is what shifts and heals the inner Matrix so that any attachment to the one(s) on the outside can move into something new and our experience of it can change for the better as well. It’s not a process that can really be taken on with much lightness at times yet it IS held with so much love, always, and the support we need is right here with us to move us fully into the NEW.

The good news is that unless we were ready to start seeing reality for what it is and has been, we wouldn’t be in the place we are now. Where we are now, even in the thick of the pain of it all, is a necessary step to our evolution, our true Ascension, and our reunion with the Divine within and without. We’re living through a time of tidal waves that are bringing so much to the surface, as they are meant to do. It’s up to each of us how we choose to relate to the process of being with the Disclosure that has been unfolding and will continue to unfold well into the future, feels like.

We are all in this together, though at times we feel so very separate. For that separation too is a powerful illusion that is up to us to move through, back into the reality of love and unity, from deep within.

Illusion must dissolve so reality can resolve… by letting what’s real open up the heart to feel.

Love,

Kasha ❤

~

I am once again offering free 45min intro calls for women who are interested in the SoulFullHeart process/way of life/community and how it may serve you at this sacred time. I also offer paid 90min sessions for women who feel ready to dive deep into their inner worlds: soulfullheart.org/sessions

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Inner & Outer Feminine/Masculine Union Balance

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Oh, how the inner feminine will want to go soft at times. To cry. To grieve. To REALLY feel what is going on that causes her heart to ache. She will BE with the longings and the missing without trying to fix or manage. Then, she can feel judged as oversensitive or too reactive by others and try to suppress her feelings….usually without success and not for very long. She may lash out in frustration, dissatisfaction and sense of injustice that her feelings have not been given enough space when they haven’t within her own heart.


And the inner masculine, then, doesn’t know what to DO with her or how to help. He feels locked in and also locked out, especially if she becomes protective of her feelings and won’t share. He just has an impulse to solve it, as if he could fix himself if he can fix her. He wants to be seen and appreciated by her always for his efforts, yet also fears disappointing her and being inadequate. He resists her tenderness and his own at times, afraid of being hurt again.


This distorted dance of inner feminine and masculine seems to be so common, so conditioned, and modeled for us in so many ways, starting from our own parents. I felt recently new layers of sorting through of the inner masculine and inner feminine dynamics within myself, triggered by being here on these powerful Michael Divine Mascline, and Mary Divine Feminine lines. I have also seen these masculine/feminine sortings out in those in my small community of beloveds, in my relationship with Raphael (although we are in a current blissy merging phase after some initial conflicts when we got here to Avalon) and in women I have met with for sessions recently.


There’s nothing wrong in the push and the pulls, yet it can be challenging when these energies within are not on the same ‘page’, the desires are diverging, and conflict arises. This is the same mixed experience as what so commonly occurs on the outside in relationships as well. I have so learned that experience of relationships with others can’t be shifted into new grounds until it is from within. New and deeper possibilities of intimacy arise initially from within and can then be transacted with others rather than just a focus on the outside dynamics, which is so common.


I always come back to the inner union to see what its status is when there are mixed feelings going on. As I hold space for my inner feminine (however she is needing to show up) and my inner masculine (who is quite soft at this point), they can find their connection with me, the Divine, and each other. They can move into their dance again, in flow, and ultimately….as is always the desire…into balance.


This reunion within then flows into my sacred union relationship with Raphael with new grounds of connection and exploration now possible. One day I am in tears and holding space for my feminine and bridging to my masculine so he can be felt too. And the next, I am in bliss lovemaking and connection energies with Raphael. From within and then out draws the experience of joy, bliss, and balance with a beloved mate that feels like a deep merging even while you remain two separate consciousnesses.

The ache for sacred union is consciously felt in many people…a ‘mate ache’, I have called it. Yet, the desire for inner union of your masculine and feminine may be less known and cultivated. That inner union ache is powerful to follow and does seem to ultimately draw your precious sacred union partner too.

Here is a guided meditation with Raphael and I to connect to your inner masculine and feminine: https://youtu.be/nvi_m4i1KvQ


love,

Jelelle Awen

Join Kasha and I for an Avalon Activation women’s group call on Sunday, September 20 at 5:00pm BST (9:00am PDT) with teachings, meditation, and personal sharings by donation. We will share these Avalon energies that invite the inner masculine/feminine flow. More information at soulfullheart.org/womengroupcalls


More information about 1:1 soul initiation/emotional-Karma Trauma healing sessions with me for women over Zoom and here in-person in Glastonbury and with other Facilitators at soulfullheart.org/sessions