Let In Your Wonder, Find Your Creativity

by Kalayna Colibri



Wonder… that feeling place from an essence within us that we can’t uncover until parts of us feel that our life is worth ‘wondering’ about. It IS a place where creativity flows from, the creation of new life chapters, artistic works, and growth phases for ourselves. It is the ISpiration we’ve been waiting for, even while parts of us have told themselves they can’t have it and that it’s impossible to feel this way about life. This is the flow that draws us to another, draws us to nature, draws us back inward to ourselves with deep love and curiosity.

Wonder doesn’t ‘know’ much. It doesn’t even pretend to. It feels and asks questions and sometimes is only in the moment with complete, speechless awe. It is both a full canvass of experience and an empty canvass too. It is a way to project what we want to see and also to see what we could never have expected.

Maybe today is a day to rediscover your wonder, your creativity, your zest for creating and establishing something NEW in your life that is more in line with what you most deeply want, even if it seems there are infinite steps to get there – what if the true journey of getting ‘there’ really lies in fully being ‘here’ first?

I wrote the following words recently, to help express my own creative flow I was feeling and where it seemed to be coming from. It does feel like we all have access to a flow this strong more and more, as we come more into ourselves, our hearts and our souls as Ascension keeps calling us all forth to be IN this flow more. It’s a desirable and empowered place and my heart wants everyone to start feeling it for themselves too!


This stream of creation breaks into a run with timings unforeseen and a flow un-ebbed.

There is no prediction for the next piece. It only mounts itself upon the canvass of true love, waiting for the painter to employ its spark of something-ness…

It’s not a time for restless non-creation, but restful creative action and inaction both. A time for baking and making ideas into one creative form or another, though these forms are not pre-formed, only discovered as we go, flow, move onward.

It is an itch that pauses for a moment of brief regard and then beckons you in and onward for more experience of it, sometimes when it hasn’t even been noted as something worked hard for.

A force unforced, it weaves itself in with us and our lives, asking us for more response, more discovery, more wonder, so we can keep creating from this flow a new us, new relationships, a new way to be in and with life that parts of us have never imagined before…

And then…

Only more love and passion can come and live within us and only more wonder and creativity can come with and from the same. ❤



Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.


The Desire To Mate And Create As Sacred Humans

by Kalayna Colibri



We are wired for creation it seems, as human BEings, and especially as Sacred Humans arising more and more through ascension… CREATE-ures, who have been created and yet also co-created, constantly, consistently, without end. We are moving more and more into a state of CONSCIOUS co-creation with each other, the Divine, and even ourselves as we engage in processes that allow us to get to know ourselves as we heal on deeper and deeper levels.

Our desire to create comes from our god-ness, for the Divine is always creating, recreating, co-creating too and we are intrinsically connected to all of that and the ALL. Multiple timelines appear on our radars, wanting us to feel more, become more, feel where we are in the moment, yet also see what we are energizing as the truest truth of who we are and the life we’re living. To acknowledge our creativity in every moment is to claim and inhabit our power again, to acknowledge ourselves as high-beaming BEings again. We are the writers of our own stories, we are bringing in energy to support or neglect our deepest desires. We are given gateways to walk through that want to bring us more outward into the harvest of our inward glances and journeys. We are brought into new territories via the vehicle of ‘I want’ and the sidecar of ‘I need’, ever-connected to quantum will, quantum desires, quantum needs that over-arch everything, everyone, every other CREATE-ure imaginable.

There’s a dance here, with self and the Divine and with each other too. We are partnered in creation, as we are all ONE anyways, yet find our individual expressions of this too. We are inclined to find dance partners through different waves and ways of relationships. We are romantic in our hearts, always imagining something (though parts of us may dismiss this for different phases), always wanting (though again, parts may be burying this for different phases), always needing something, though this can ultimately be boiled down to a much deeper need for LOVE… how could this love dance, this wanting dance, not turn into a mating dance too? First with self, then with other? How could our beautifully filling-up hearts and ever-glowing, growing souls not want to collaborate and co-create with another in sacred union, creating from an ‘usness’ of beauty and ever-purifying love and self-discovery? This collaborative sort of relationship is what could be difficult to accept into our lives, especially for those who feel they have only begun to get themselves sorted out, let alone let in a sacred union romance that will scramble their worlds up again. Yet, THIS is what creativity feels like to me… a creating and then a dismantling, only to create something new and perhaps better or more fulfilling than before!

There is a sacredness to every single desire and ache in our hearts for more or less or even something completely different than we’ve experienced so far. We are creating this sacredness from our own sacredness that can never die or be abandoned though it can certainly be buried. We are being tuned back into these frequencies that remind us of our aliveness, our need to align truly with our hearts and want we want to create,  while illuminating what we’ve been creating instead. We are given this illumination as a powerful opportunity and it is entirely our own creative choice as to whether or not we step into it. ❤


Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Rediscovering That Creative Heart In Us, Beyond Self Punishment

by Kalayna Colibri


When I was a teenager, creative outlets ‘saved’ me in a way… especially exploring my creativity in private, or at least as private of a setting as I could find. I was doing regular dance classes and you would think that was helpful too, yet there was something about being in a ‘class’ setting such as this, that stoked the fires of comparison to others for parts of me that I couldn’t feel directly. Perhaps if I could have, I wouldn’t have kept doing these classes, but it’s hard to say. They were helpful for many reasons and yet, they were painful too. It was more often the dancing, singing, performing that I did for invisible audiences (likely higher selves of soul family and maybe star being family and guides too at the time!) who would inevitably adore me and enjoy my performances with no cloaked judgments or making parts of me feel self-conscious, that I thoroughly enjoyed. These parts of me so needed this, growing up in this 3D reality where we are taught to judge others and ourselves for just about everything so soon in our lives, and always, it feels like, because our caregivers and teachers are overflowing with this judgement toward themselves first.

These times in my parents’ basement were so sacred… I even remember buying a headset mic that was meant for a computer, so I could wear it like a pop star! Sometimes I sang, sometimes I lip-synched instead. But it was ALL fun and most of the time, I somehow managed to free myself from self-judgment frequencies because from me to me, I had space to enjoy being with ME.

There’s something about our ways of expressing ourselves creatively that pings for me now, especially as just an hour ago I was singing my heart out a bit, for the first time in a LONG time and I have to say it felt really, REALLY good… my heart wanted to sing out in expression and love. Reconnecting with music that I used to listen and sing to many years ago. I could feel part of me feeling self-conscious, wondering if the whole complex that I live in could hear me singing… and worse yet, that they would think I was awful. And then, I also felt how in these precious moments I didn’t actually care if they did and if they judged. So both were true for me and that’s okay. It felt important to give myself permission to just BE in the music, let something roll out of my heart, have some FUN too. Give myself permission to NOT be perfect or seek perfection in any way. Just sing OUT. I feel there is so something in this for all of us, perhaps especially in this process of ascension that’s happening so quickly for so many of us and can have such intense phases physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Where did our creativity go that could carry us through and that was given to us to help life feel like MAGIC again and stoke our imaginations so we can blaze like the LOVE stars we truly are?

As our inner-punishment heals, especially through this work we call SoulFullHeart where we work with and deeply feel the parts of us who hold these frequencies, we can begin to be more in our creative magic again. This feels so important to me, because we ARE creating in every single moment as we really can’t help but do and BE this as human beings! We are creation constantly creating… we shift these frequencies of what this creativity draws when we reclaim our power and see what we’ve been drawing instead of what we actually want.

And so, I know that I hope this is only the beginning of me exploring art forms that once brought my heart out to play, though of course writing like this does that too! We are so meant to sing, to throw our heartbeams outward through dance and movement too, to let our lungs fully expel the old air and invite in the NEW. And to encourage everyone to do the same… without polish or perfection but just our human ISness that wants and aches to come out and play again, create and recreate a magical life again, love ourselves everything about us again and again and again…



Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.


Letting Creativity Arise In The Moment

By Jelelle Awen


In this moment, at 3 A.M., even though the mind labels it as ‘middle of the night’, even though my 3D self doesn’t like ‘sleep to be disturbed’, creativity lives and breathes inside of me. All day I was working on something inside, something shifting around a current way of relating to putting words together. Letting go of a mode or role that part of me has played as writer for many, many ‘years’ now. This was coming up in response to writing now a ‘book’, for which I have previously written many, published them for a time, and then let them go again to rest back into the space where they arose from.

My higher self experiences that creativity is about the process, about the moment, not the product. Yet, my 3D self or part of me was getting a bit hung up on structure and chapters and themes and what the book would be about and what it would feature or not. Sharing on facebook has surprised me because it offers an arising medium for sharing. The stream of content floats on by, there is really no way to save it. This helps with non-attachment to what is offered.

I feel a desire for others to share their original words and thoughts more on facebook, more of their individual creativity, so that they can experience what this feels like….to create, to share, and to let it go. I invite you to feel into sharing more of your own words rather than someone else’s….let the writer, creator, teacher in you share your wisdom and love with others. This is so much more meaningful as it comes from the arising heart and is created in the moment without self consciousness rather than needing the thoughts and feelings of others.

We catch each other in moments on Facebook and on this blog, in this medium. Something I have written and shared lands in you and you click on a thumb or a heart. We collaborate in this energy exchange, both benefitting from it. This has so pleasantly surprised me after feeling not drawn for many ‘years’ to being on Facebook and sharing on it is now something that I enjoy, not strategic, but from an arising desire to share what I experience as bounty inside of my own heart and in my life.

So, this is how the ‘book’ is flowing out too….without chapters, without time, arising in moments. In moving with this flow and not being so careful of forming each word, the energy can transact much more (which is limited anyway by the medium of words and linear language.) This is what I have learned through sharing here and the grace of our collaboration. When I offer thanks and appreciation for you who have taken the moment to respond with words or images or your hearts or thumbs, I thank you for taking in my energy into your heart and soul. Your taking in allows me to grow, to teach, and to learn. Your taking in allows me to find my voice.

It is a precious exchange and one that I look forward to continuing in a space of a ‘book’ that is more a pool than a river. Gathering the waters together and inviting you to take a dip in when and if you feel to is the ongoing exploration of the creative process in fifth dimensional processing where time does not exist and creativity arises uncontrollable in the moment as it is in this one.

Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Feeling And Surrendering To Our Beauty

by Leena Colibri



To surrender to the beautiful, is to recognize that what we are is beauty embodied. We are the captors and creators of beautiful things, images, works, and deeds. We are the receivers and conduits of inspiration. What we are motivated to do with the beauty we download every day is entirely up to us and unfortunately, all too often many of us miss the opportunity to express it and be it.

There is so much confusion about what truly makes someone or something beautiful. There can be no final answer to that question. It’s not always about symmetry and perfection, but instead sometimes it’s about asymmetry placed in perfectly imperfect ways. There is no getting away from being a work in progress – a project underway. There is no way to not be the beauty we are called to be. And there is no way in which life doesn’t support that in each of us. Beauty in itself is not and does not have a final answer.

Beauty is a constant journey and one which we have taken to in ways that grossly undermine its reality. We over-focus on small facets of it without taking in the whole picture of what it actually feels like. Perhaps this is why we like art. It can be a way to let something unseen, unheard, unknown, come sneaking in under our well-constructed filters and doorways and surprise us with emotions we maybe thought we’d buried long ago.

Inside myself, I feel a deepening desire to see, hold and appreciate my own beauty and the myriad ways in which it expresses or is withdrawn. We can hold back what we have to offer and be in this world, or we can light our flames and inhabit it like this moment is the only one that matters, for from this moment springs forth a renewed chance to create something beautiful from our hearts, our minds, our mouths, and our lives. Each page I’ve written in earnest struggle to understand a new wave of emotional reaction or fear or even love has become another creation to take into this mosaic of the beauty within me.

Our journey as a species in this very moment is spring-loaded for bounteous beauty. There is so much to let ourselves feel in the goodness of our sacred human hearts as we pass through this corridor and find our next doorway into more truth. The exposure of ourselves and the systems that have held us is the way in to a greater level of beautification. We were never not beautiful to begin with and now we are coming to remember that again.

To truly awaken our hearts and souls is this process I’ve described, or so it feels to me in this moment. With so much incredible pain to feel, heal and let go of, we no longer have much choice but to rediscover our own beauty and consciously create more beauty from it in whatever ways we feel we need and desire to. The payoff is already underway as we continue our ascension into higher dimensions of being and a greater, more authentic sense of love. The choice is renewed in every single second: help to create beauty from our own beauty, or continue pouring concrete over the walls we’ve built against it.


Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com


Creativity Cannot Be Controlled, Only Responded To: Blog Writings From The Week

By Jelelle Awen


Many words coming over the last several days on a flow of inspiration from both Raphael Awen and I. Creativity cannot be controlled, only responded to. Creativity has flowed as we have both been dedicated to going within, opening up to guidance from within and from with-out, and blessed space is available for this right now. I feel such gratitude to those of you who read this blog and follow me on facebook who have taken in these words into your hearts and souls and shown your support with little hearts and thumbs up, comments, and sharings. While I feel that I would probably create it all without any response, it feels so meaningful for me to land in and serve those of you who resonate. I feel so much love and gratitude for your response….thank you! I love you!

I have a sense of everything being accelerated and energies sometimes greatly amplified, including creativity and inspirational muse frequencies. We are continuing into a time of intense transition in 2017, which I’ll be writing about soon. The only way to navigate it with a sense of center is from within because outside circumstances could feel quite outrageous, unstable, and unmanageable.

I feel renewed commitment and inspiration for sharing and offering my gifts without attachment yet with full focus and sense of support. I am amazed to see that in the last week or so I wrote nine blog articles, did a 30 minute intro video with Raphael, started our book, offered two group events both virtual and in person, and soon we will be launching our monthly museletter. And somehow in there celebrated christmas! None of this felt like ‘work’ or ‘effort’ yet is an enlivening and nourishing way to express and give back what I have been gifted through my inner journeys and blessed life. It all is received and given from LOVE by LOVE.

Listed below are blog articles from the last week and these are all posted on my facebook page as well.

Heart And Soul Recovery After Breakups:

Golden Earth Now (Raphael Awen):

Intense Energies During This Time Of Transition From 3D to 5D

‘Tis The Season For Desires:

Love Wisdoms From Yeshua As Christ Consciousness:

Feeling The True Message Of Love Within The Christ-Mas Story (Raphael Awen)

Navigating Relationships During Awakening (transition From 3D to 5D):

Go Within And Remember The Love That You Are:

Embracing Changes In Your Life As Love Expressing Itself (Raphael Awen):https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/embracing-changes-in-your-…/

Creating From Divine Inspiration Rather Than Depression

By Jelelle Awen


As I participate in the creation of the home we are building for Sequoia out of cob (a combination of clay, subsoil, straw and water), as I witness this cabana birthing out of the ground from materials which come exclusively from the ground….I am reminded of the death and rebirth cycle. Creation always brings us closer to the edge of where things begin and eventually where they complete. Immersed as I am in this project right now, I know that some day it will be finished and no longer will it arise anew, responding to contributions of my alchemy, passion, and physical focus. I will have moved on to something else, a new creation will beckon me to make something out of nothing.

Our attention and creativity is meant to wrap around something with focus on the end product while holding reverence for the process. Then, we are able to detach and move on to the next. I find that the more access I have to the part of me or subpersonality that holds my creativity, the more I can navigate and inhabit whatever I am involved in from a place of investment and then detachment.

For many years, my creativity was high jacked by the part of me that holds depression. It seemed that I couldn’t write creatively or work on a creative art project without being in a state of sadness, angst, and melancholy. This depression part of me didn’t feel alive unless she was creating something and yet, she could only be creative by dredging up her pain and using her agony as the primary source of fuel. I stopped publically writing for a few years as I focused on feeling and healing this part of me through journaling with her and being felt by a parts facilitator. This part of me had a complicated relationship with my creativity. She felt that she needed to express this way as means to off gas her pain even though it didn’t actually get felt, only exploited. I believe that a lot of artistic and creative people have a depression part that relates to their creativity in this way which is why so many of them suffer from suicidal depression. Add in another part of us that needs validation and attention from others related to our creativity and it can be a recipe for suffering.

It took me some time to find my writer’s voice again, healed greatly from depression and suffering, and now coming from a new source of Divine inspiration. Creating from this place is about an overflow produced from connection with myself, parts of me, Raphael, others in our community, animals, nature. It comes from an overall sense of joy and goodness about my life. It comes from the feeling of loving and being loved. This love spring has gushed forth eight years worth of blog entries and five books. It turns out that connecting with Divine creative inspiration is also pretty productive.

If someone asked me about how to relate to their creative process, I would offer that we have to feel which part of us is ‘in charge’ of it. As I already mentioned, it can be a depression part which primarily holds it. Or, there can be a very strong identity or persona part related to our creativity with a self image-based claim of being an ‘artist’ or ‘writer’. Or it can be an inner, young child part of us that relates with it like a secret outlet kept hidden away from others because it feels too vulnerable to share. It can be suppressed by a protector or controller part of us to such an extent that we don’t feel like we are creative at all. If creativity is about connecting to Divine inspiration, then also we need to look at the part of us (which we call the Daemon or soul guardian) that opens up access to our soul consciousness and Divine connection. When in Divine thrall or communion, we feel that the act of creating and our creation is ultimately in service of the Divine and in surrender to It as well.

Whether it is building something or writing or painting or making banana bread, creativity can be an expression of our sacred humanity. It can be a glorious testament and honouring of that which transcends reality even as it paints off of the canvas of our ordinary lives. It can honor that which begins and that which inevitably reaches a completion. The Divine doesn’t require masterpieces; only honestly focused expressions of our authentic essence creatively dipping into the waters of Infinite Love in celebration of love and life.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information about staying at the Sanctuary and sessions.


An Artist, His Inner Muse, His Inner Critic


By Christopher Tydeman

I am an artist. That is what I have been told by many artists to tell myself. “If you create a doodle, you are an artist.” A part of me would disagree since I don’t have many pieces to justify that claim. That is my inner critic voice. The one you hear about in most art classes. The one that decides what an artist is or isn’t. What art is or isn’t. Will my time be rewarded by money and/or accolades? A litany of excuses why I shouldn’t even put in the effort.

Then there is my muse. My creative spark. My constantly open third eye that scans for beauty, genius, and energy. It is in resistance to this quelling of my inner critic. Throw water on it and it finds a way to not be silenced for very long. I can hear my inner critic exclaiming, “Why won’t you just surrender?”. The response back is the same. My muse has a major advantage. It is what makes me… me.

Since I was a child, I had an imagination. I played with Star Wars action figures (not dolls!), Hot Wheels, Legos, Lincoln Logs, Playdough, crayons and pencils. I loved to build forts and play Star Wars at recess with my friends. Eventually, that imagination was sequestered and replaced with sex, schoolwork, and then adulthood. Even as an art student in college, I was graded and critiqued. Though, I did find some classes to be inspiring. After graduation, I had a child and needed to be a provider, not an artist. At the time, I convinced myself I couldn’t be both.

Years later, I found myself a teacher of children ages 7-12. Being around an age where I left my creativity, I found myself wanting to wake up my muse, to bring life to an otherwise dull curriculum. I had an explosion of creativity and passion. So many great ideas and lots of work, but it was worth it. But the constant behaviour difficulties and the micromanagement of teaching led me lose my umph, yet again.

I tried to replace that with my own creative projects, but they wilted as soon as they began. Not enough light, not enough water, not enough me to ground them into. I took classes occasionally to rekindle that spark, but the inner critic prevailed once again. I find myself aching to create once again. My muse sitting beside me waiting to be heard, felt, and seen. Beside me is my critic. My fear. My judgment. I choose to dialogue with this part of me so I can give it space to be heard and felt. I cannot create without doing so. It has an intimate relationship with my muse. The more I can feel this part of me, the more I can open the doors of creativity and inspiration, of power and self-love. It has good reason to keep me from my essence. I do not wield an ax to sever it from who I am. It is a part of who I am. It is me, just not all of me.

I may choose to share my journaling with this part of me, if it agrees. I hope that it will illuminate something for you, as it will for me. I have no idea where the journaling goes or what it will manifest. I just have my desire, intention, and choice. I desire to create, I intend to create, I choose to create. That is all I can do today and the next. The rest is a mystery.

Join me….

Christopher Tydeman has been embracing the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life since August, 2010. He is a SoulFullHeart facilitator-in-training, author on this blog, and he hosted the SoulFullHeart Experience Radio ShowFor more information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, visit soulfullheart.com.