The Effects of Negativity on Ascension

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The image above is one I drew many years ago while holding space for a deep despairing and existential aspect of me. I was reminded of it in my meditation this morning not just as a personal memory but as a collective representation of what ascension can feel like to many. I have been with negative thoughts and feelings most of my life. They stem from family legacy, social connections, cultural conditionings, soul wounds, and whatever shenanigans are being entered into our psychic fields by less than benevolent beings. The image of a spaghetti ball described this energy to a tee, from my perspective.

This was a pivotal reason for my desire to heal as I knew that I was more than this energy. Though I didn’t know all the science at the time, I didn’t need it to in order to realize it was altering my reality in a big way. So going in was the only way to change that course. There was a wealth of emotion to feel and bring to my inner lovelight. To be held by the Divine in grace and gratitude. As the personal historical roots of the negativity are healed and integrated, there are more layers to follow that arise when they need to in relationship to our soul’s experience. The process is the same and showers us with gifts of immense proportion, if there is surrender and movement from these aspects of us.

But there are energies that do not wish to surrender to the love we are offering. There is a collective pain body that I call the Paintrix (3D body) that has its own inertia. When we still have resonant wounds inside of us, the reaction to circumstances can feel way over the boundary of what feels like us. It feels deeper and heavier. Almost like molasses. To some of us, we may have been accustomed to or charged with transmuting this energy for a community or group in our soul history. This is not self-loving in any way. We can access the soul aspect that held this and help it let go.

It can be difficult at times to know what is ours and what is not. That is why we need a mirror to us so that we can get a better reflection in these times. It is not our responsibility to transmute these energies. I feel it puts the responsibility back on the collective and the individuals that construct it. This is a process of individuating from the 3D body. These energies can also be a part of a larger virus in the psychic field imposed by negative beings of which there is a lot of information on.

I share this today as reflection of what will be unfolding in the times to come. We need to stay vigilant with our healing and maintaining our higher frequencies. It is not just through positive mantras that can truly bring healing, but also a deep process of emotional integration, energy work, and daily connection with our Higher Self and guides. Through all of my efforts I still get entangled at times and this is on its way out the door. This is never a light topic but it leads to our eventual reclaiming of our true power, worth, and joy. It is a gift to us if we can hold it that way. Telling us which way NOT to go and steering us toward our Higher Purpose. We are here to serve you in discovering what you truly are and letting go of what you are not. I offer my personal heart to those of you who similar experiences and am here to guide you through it should you choose.

Sequoia Heartman is a writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Your World Is Your Reflection

by Leena Colibri

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You want to be gotten,
Understood,
Taken in.

…can you take yourself in?

You want to know somehow,
Without being told,
That what you are is beyond the norm.

…can you feel your stardust, your magic, your creative power?

Can you witness your uniqueness?
Your unforgettability?
Can you begin to buy into you,
that you in your mirror,
that you who posts and asks
and brings sometimes an ounce of you
yet sometimes
your entire heart?

Do you feel your own words,
Your own energy,
Your own You?

…do you like it?

…do you love it?

…do you want to experience it over and over again,
like an out-of-this-world session of love making?

The world is perhaps the greatest reflection
of our nearest, dearest
greatest,
deepest,
wants and needs,
desires and differences.

It is that mirror we return to
When we need a reminder
of where we’ve been
and where perhaps we’ve need yet to go.

Does your world remind you,
that you are that love you’ve been seeking?
The only true place of that unconditional,
everlasting,
unwavering
Infinite Love?
That source that made you,
moves through you,
holds you in life,
and in death,
in repeated cycles ad infinitum?

If your world is your reflection,
you’ve got this.

You’ve got You.

And you always…
always…
will have You to go back in to
for that truest,
most loving,
reflective reflection space,
that will continue guiding you inward,
onward

…and upward.

 

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

Feeling And Surrendering To Our Beauty

by Leena Colibri

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To surrender to the beautiful, is to recognize that what we are is beauty embodied. We are the captors and creators of beautiful things, images, works, and deeds. We are the receivers and conduits of inspiration. What we are motivated to do with the beauty we download every day is entirely up to us and unfortunately, all too often many of us miss the opportunity to express it and be it.

There is so much confusion about what truly makes someone or something beautiful. There can be no final answer to that question. It’s not always about symmetry and perfection, but instead sometimes it’s about asymmetry placed in perfectly imperfect ways. There is no getting away from being a work in progress – a project underway. There is no way to not be the beauty we are called to be. And there is no way in which life doesn’t support that in each of us. Beauty in itself is not and does not have a final answer.

Beauty is a constant journey and one which we have taken to in ways that grossly undermine its reality. We over-focus on small facets of it without taking in the whole picture of what it actually feels like. Perhaps this is why we like art. It can be a way to let something unseen, unheard, unknown, come sneaking in under our well-constructed filters and doorways and surprise us with emotions we maybe thought we’d buried long ago.

Inside myself, I feel a deepening desire to see, hold and appreciate my own beauty and the myriad ways in which it expresses or is withdrawn. We can hold back what we have to offer and be in this world, or we can light our flames and inhabit it like this moment is the only one that matters, for from this moment springs forth a renewed chance to create something beautiful from our hearts, our minds, our mouths, and our lives. Each page I’ve written in earnest struggle to understand a new wave of emotional reaction or fear or even love has become another creation to take into this mosaic of the beauty within me.

Our journey as a species in this very moment is spring-loaded for bounteous beauty. There is so much to let ourselves feel in the goodness of our sacred human hearts as we pass through this corridor and find our next doorway into more truth. The exposure of ourselves and the systems that have held us is the way in to a greater level of beautification. We were never not beautiful to begin with and now we are coming to remember that again.

To truly awaken our hearts and souls is this process I’ve described, or so it feels to me in this moment. With so much incredible pain to feel, heal and let go of, we no longer have much choice but to rediscover our own beauty and consciously create more beauty from it in whatever ways we feel we need and desire to. The payoff is already underway as we continue our ascension into higher dimensions of being and a greater, more authentic sense of love. The choice is renewed in every single second: help to create beauty from our own beauty, or continue pouring concrete over the walls we’ve built against it.

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

Embracing Change As A Mirror, Healer And Ally

by Leena Colibri

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We are all facing changes right now. Many of these changes are major upheavals as the veils become thinner and we are finally able to not only listen to, but hear ourselves and our guidance more. Some of these changes we choose voluntarily as our relationship with ourselves deepens and we realize more clearly what it is we truly need and/or desire to have in our lives. The poignant ache for a deeper love that we don’t necessarily know where it could come from or what it could look like is landing with a thud in each of our hearts, giving us new direction, especially in relationships, but also in our careers and geographies.

With change comes process…the pain inside our very sacredly human pain bodies becomes louder in order for us to finally hear it, feel it and heal it. It is an awakening to those ways in which we have been numbed out, “going with the flow” to a degree that has actually seen us shrink to fit circumstances and relationships, and how we have deprived ourselves of love from ourself to ourself, let alone how we have blocked it from flowing to and from others or even the Divine.

This process of learning how to be with change and especially be with ourselves when we are experiencing change, is becoming unavoidable with our global process of ascension. Too, though, our process of vibrating higher is coming in faster than ever before, and the experience of that is now able to deepen for us, the more we can move through what’s holding us down. Change is designed and brought on by love, ultimately… it pushes up what we need to feel in order to fully move into our next chapters and unveil more of who we really are at our core.

My relationship to change hasn’t always been very spacious and in moments it still isn’t. Most of the time, the changes that are being asked of us by love are not easy to embody or willingly say “yes” to, and unfortunately that can also create an experience of life happening to us and not us happening to life. We can feel at these times as if our power is in some sort of cosmic vacuum, even though it’s really just being lovingly challenged. I hold this as my truth and it does help me process through change much easier, especially during these times of intense waves of energetic frequency alterations and the life adjustments that happen accordingly.

Just like the ways in which the sun’s rays can be felt coming in much stronger as the result of weakened barriers holding it’s power back, so we are all experiencing a renewed press of love moving through us much stronger. The process of this awakening that love brings to us is most alive when we embrace the changes we’re being invited into, that aren’t simply outward but actually quite often very inward. We are learning to rearrange our inner furniture to accommodate more love in our lives and of course that translates to adjustments and, at times, all-out upheavals needing to happen outside of us too. If we can trust, somehow, that it is all held in and by love, then we can begin to let in change as the mirror, healer and ally that it actually is and always has been for us.

 

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Arising Tide of Love

by Sequoia Heartman

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I feel Love lapping itself upon the shores
Of my once coveted island
A time to heal the wounds of my soul’s incarnation
The outstretched arm of my heart’s protection

It does not want me to dwell in the disconnection
In the fear of unknowable rejection and consternation
It turns the comfortable into questionable
The predictable into mystical

What lies beyond what was safe?
Underneath what scares you to death?
Above the highest reaches of your passion’s imagination?
In front of the very eyes you thought you could see future with?

The tide is rising
There will be no place to hide
As if there ever was
As if I ever truly wanted to

I have a heart’s flare sent to the sky
The sparks creating an infinite blanket upon the heavens
That call to you
That light the path to our meeting place

The ending of what had been
To begin what never went away
Just hidden in the crevasses of our buried hearts
And the promise that one day we would uncover them together.

**

Sequoia Heartman is a writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

From Those Higher Selves Who Wait For Us

By Leena Colibri

 

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You…
Disintegrated.
You disintegrated so you could reintegrate through your integral integrity.

You…
Relinquished.
You relinquished your innate connection to utter outer and inner beauty in order to bring it all back in to you once again.

You…
Forgot.
You forgot so you could remember all the members of your own humanity and that you are all, in fact, one.

You…
Redeemed.
You redeemed yourself once for all you held in anguish for the sake of a life linked to fear and not love.

…all the potential power you’ve held and hold now has never
Ever
Gone anywhere.

Will you seek again in earnest what it was you once sought
before you relinquished to disintegrate and forget all you ever were?
Your redemption is now.
Will you let go so you can let it in?
Will you chastise or rise?
Will you breathe through the love lungs given you or will you hover in hatred over all you’ve named as wrong?

As always the choice is forever yours,
and as always,
we watch,
and wait at your arrival gate,
with all the love you can imagine
and all the promise of a renewed you to be.

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Choosing From Love, To Fall In Love

By Leena Colibri

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This mysterious thing we call “falling in love”… what is it but a letting go into the shiny bright light ahead that seems to call, seems to light up a pathway through unknown territory, seems to warm something in the far reaches of your heart that you’d forgotten were ever there?

What else can we call the following of a heart stream that starts in a moment then trickles inward and suddenly pours over every part of us before we even know what we’ve said “yes” to?

Beyond an idea of romance that has us on our knees in ecstatic joy and wonder, this is a bigger embrace of a call that beckons us onward at an as yet un-lived-in pace for in the foreground of our lives we have only settled for the crumbs of what I can only call “the real thing”. Once we have tasted that tender morsel of what truly makes our hearts beam with wonder, awe and reverence, we cannot turn away, we cannot opt out, we cannot fully return to that cave from whence we came.

It is an impossibility to behold the full intrusion of love’s infusion if we do not fall in love all at once and with a perseverance that we can only truly know from our own love lights answering to those of others up ahead of us.

This is what it means to really love and be loved. This is what it feels like to be held in and led by love. This is what it feels like to say “yes” to ourselves and our transformation. This…is where all our choices should come from, and where our choosing will always be challenged to come from. This is what it feels like to truly live – to know that love is always at your side, bellowing from the other side, and beckoning you homeward.

If you can feel all of this… welcome home, for this is where your truest heart rests even in its insatiable restlessness of always wanting more and more. If you cannot in this moment feel any of this… perhaps your heart is asking for more of you to reside inside it, to know it, revere it, honour it, remember it… once again and maybe, this time, for always.

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

Love IS, As We ARE

By Leena Colibri

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There are so many ways we are conditioned to feel what love is. Life becomes an endless quest to know real love and to feel it lighting up the unknowable, puzzling hallways of our sacred human hearts. I feel like anytime we try to encapsulate it, or say we’ve finally earned the Phd that tells us we are experts at knowing it, we still miss the mark to some degree. To try and know it, would be like trying to tame it…and how does one throw a rope around the wind? Perhaps the truth is that to find a deep and conscious experience of love we have to first discern what love is not…

And yet…

What is love “not”?

I cannot tell you that it is one thing and isn’t another.

But I can share with you, that from where I’m sitting right now, I feel my heart brimming over and can also feel what it is trying to put it all back in the glass for another day.

That, it feels like, is where the work is for me. It is an arrow pointing to what feels like nowhere specific but it is a piece of a treasure map. That treasure map is what makes me, me. The me that I am right now, and the me I still feel present even when I feel that I am also you…

Love wants to be the magnet powering our compasses. It wants us to more and more often choose it over anything else, especially for ourselves first. If we can’t feel when and where our choices are leading us to less and not more love in our own lives, then how can we help others find their pilot light of love in their lives?

Love is what bonds us, not what binds us, though the binds come from love too. Love is our truest roots and our widest wingspans. It is that which we can likely never fully understand, but it IS what drives us onward, upward, homeward. It IS, as we ARE… in all our pains and joys.

I can feel my fences and defenses. And I know that love loves me anyways. And that no matter what, it will find its way in…and often in ways I would never have expected.

 

**

Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

To The Part Inside That Needs Your Love

 

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I wanted to share what it feels like to hold an energy, or part, that looks toward the outer world of things and relationships for worth. It is our 3D self that feels this way and it our developing higher or 5D self that holds the space for these parts of us.

Now I feel the irony in sharing this as maybe a way of this part garnering some attention, but I was guided to share this as a way that we can relate to an aspect of us as a separate energy that we can give love to. It may resonate with you and provide a template of one of the ways we offer healing in the SoulFullHeart awakening and ascension process and during sessions. 

Hello, you.
You…the part of me that feels like the only way to feel loved
Is by reaching outside
Seeking validation and confirmation
You don’t need to do that anymore
There is a Me here to love you.
It is a Love beyond what others could give to you
That is always here.
You don’t realize this because you have been convinced
There is nothing else but the way it has always been.
You haven’t had someone like Me tell you otherwise
To feel you in your doubt and fear.
Someone who will let you be in your pain without trying to make it better.
To let it burn away all that you used to believe was Love.
I assure you that it isn’t and never was.
It was all a measure of what you felt you were worth.
What everyone else around you felt they were worth.
How would have known any different?

But there is something different.
It lies in your dreams.
Your desires.
Your imagination and….your worth.
You know you want more than what you are settling for.
You are worth the world.
A brand new world that responds to your goodness and your bigness.
It will take time, my love.
It wasn’t overnight that you saw and felt this way.
You are not wrong for feeling it.
It all brought you here to this place of finally saying no more.
No more pain.
No more cycling.
No more looking outside.
Surrendering to a trust in Me.
That I can be big enough to hold you through it all.
That what you desire and can imagine is already there.
You just need to let go of those thoughts and feelings
That keep you from believing it isn’t possible.
It is possible.
You know it is possible.
It is just hard to imagine based on the worn path you have traveled.

You can’t avoid the pain that will arise.
To do so would just keep you in more pain
And be that much more to feel along the way.
It is all coming one way or another.
It all comes down to HOW you are going to feel it
Rather than IF you are going to feel it.
There is no press or push, just an invitation
To lean into Me when you start feeling like you are less than
For I will always be your more than.
I will be there in the mud and in the trenches,
In the slippery and the sticky.
It won’t always be that way.
Just long enough to heal what needs to be healed.
The more you lean in the more you will be able to let go and let in.
Let in all that both you and I were destined to let in
Because it IS us and always has been.
No more second guessing.
No more judging.
No more suffering.
This is the time because there is No Time.
It happens now….
and now…
and now.
Until you have forgotten you ever lived this way.
I love you…always.

Sequoia Heartman is writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

The Sacredness Of Being “Off-Centre”

 

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No one is ever truly centred in any perfect sense.

When we ride a bicycle, our centre of gravity tips from one side of true centre, crosses through centre and then back again, making for forward momentum as we zigzag in and through centre in this way.

An airplane sets a course to its destination, immediately begins ever so slightly flying off course, notices it, and then course corrects, and does this over and over again until it reaches its destination.

Human life journey isn’t any different. At times, the veering off course can be what feels wildly erratic, and sometimes an entire lifetime goes by without a single course correction, but even then, the soul is making its own way home, in its own time and in its own way.

Even for those of us who feel more centred, we are in many moments finding ourselves, like that airplane, maybe ever so slightly, but yet, off course. This is a built in call for us to return to our centre, which is as close as feeling ourselves, as the divine beings we are.

All of us have this portal of access inside of ourselves to return to centre. None of us is without this sense of being off centre when we are, and none of us are without a sense of which direction to take in order to find centre.

For some this may not appear to be true as far as the conscious person is concerned, but in their subconscious, they don’t lack this reality, nor do they lack access to it, as this essence goes beyond the conscious mind.

We are all fragments and fractals of God whose reality we owe to the divine deciding to fragment and fractal itself into so called ‘others’. We are ‘the divine, out divining’ in every movement of our lives. This is equally true for every ‘other’ around us.

Where this truth is especially true, that we are all ‘the divine out divining’, is in the things we see and feel as negative aspects or negative experiences in our lives, the things that make us feel shame or ‘less than’ in any way. Herein, as we come to self-forgiveness and self-love, we make our deepest strides in our homeward journey.

Prior to the divine birthing soul fragments out of itself, there was no centre per se, for all was centre, and thus no need to return to centre. It is only in these soul-birthed-God-fragments of you and me that a departure and return to centre mechanism exists. This was the divine’s choice to explore itself through the closest thing it could create that afforded the illusion of separation. We are in that illusion finding our way home. We are not outside of God in any way, except in the perception that we are outside of God,…that is in our consciousness.

What a magical experience it is to prove this to ourselves as many times as we need to, whether in a lifetime, a year or in a day….by simply returning to centre, and letting in a feeling based experience of the love that we are and that we are immersed in.

When we do find ourselves in perfect centre, without any departure at all, we will have completed the mission of our soul birth, to return to the All that we were birthed out of, till we get tired of perfection and want to again try something different.

I wish you many returns to centre in the new year.

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.