Tag: self-love

When You Don’t Want To Go ‘There’, ‘There’ Is Where You Need To Go

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

When you don’t want to go ‘there’, ‘there’ is where you need to go.

There are times when you can feel that resistance inside. You could be talking with a friend, a loved one, or a healer, and the words “I don’t want to go there” or “I am not ready to go there” come streaming out. The question arises….where is the ‘there’ you don’t want to go to?

In my own process and in my sessions with others, there have been these very poignant moments. The ‘There’ is like a precipice. A cliff that looks down into what appears to be an abyss. The ‘There’ is a very sacred yet scary place. It represents a Pandora’s Box of so much pain and fear. The Higher Self brings us to these places as It knows that there is healing in those places. It lives on the other side of the other side.

The ‘There’ is different for every one of us in content. A relationship. An ownership. A responsibility. A choice. A feeling. An acceptance. A reflection. But what is the same is the resistance. It is so understandable and reasonable. “Who in their right mind would jump into that abyss?” That is the question of our protection.

The answer to that lies in our desire to really move into a new felt reality for ourselves. One where the fear is met with the courage of curiosity and the trust that Love is what holds It all together. The vision of a new way of seeing yourself and what you could create in your life that is a reflection of all the abundance of goodness that lies at the core of the fear and pain.

So when the time is ripe, you will no longer say that you can’t go there, but that ‘There’ is where you need to go bringing the resistance with you in love instead of being bound and defined by it.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Quest Of The Sacred Masculine: Healing The Inner Teenager

Published on by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

On my current quest of Soul, I found myself on the other side of a ravine having just crossed a bridge that was inspired by one of Jelelle Awen’’s meditations a couple of days ago. Alongside me is my Protector/Gatekeeper named Rogan. He is feeling like the Lewis to my Clark for all you American history buffs. Or the Marco to my Polo. However you want to relate to it. We are a team, and he is there to help me access the areas in my emotional and spiritual body that is in need to be felt or related to for any reason.

This morning I had a hit in my heart from an old part of me that I have worked with in the past that goes by my birth name Chris. He was the part of me that related to life before awakening. More of a 3D interface at times, but now feels to hold a more 4D inner teenager energy. I felt just to go with the intuition and check in with him.

There were some remaining tears about the way he lived life and wish that it could have been different. Not really regret or shame, but just a sweet remorse. Leftover remnants that needed to be felt apparently as I continue this journey. I then felt his longing and ache for a father energy that was different than what he was raised with. This felt really tender and very poignant as a man delving deeper into soul and heart.

What I got from this experience is that as we heal in order to ascend (it does not happen with some effort), there are layers in the emotional body that need our attention. As a man, one of the more sacred layers is that of our inner teenager and his relationship to his father. This feels true for women as well. The wounded teenager holds so much of our relationship to all sorts of life be it sacred or mundane. It wanted and needed so much for sacred initiation by a masculine that had his own healing and quest of soul as a priority. Unfortunately, many of us did not get that. What we can feel is that we got the best they could give us even if it wasn’t much or quite a bit.

I felt the Divine Father come into our space together offering Chris his heart and an invitation to be held and supported by Him. We would co-lead an initiation together and heal the remaining reactions to a life that is increasingly in the rearview. Tears flowed at the possibilities to heal and experience what he had always wanted. This is the hallmark of transmutative healing from the inside out.

So now Chris is on this epic quest with me as I continue to retrace my steps back to Self, Soul, and Service. He remains an integral part of my inner world, as do all inner teenagers. As a man, this will open out into a deeper connection with inner masculine guides that will all be a part of the awakening and arising sacred masculine within us all.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Quest For Soul

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

I am not sure if every man (or woman’s masculine) feels the draw for a quest, but I can feel that desire inside of me. I remember my friends and I played all sorts of games that sparked the imagination and sent us to far off lands, both fantastically and galactically. Of course, there was always a battle where we would arise victoriously or fall in defeat.

However, the shift has turned inward. The outer battles getting old and tired. The fantasy turned to a hardened reality. I chose to go on a new quest where I wanted to end the battles within and find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. What I have learned is that the quest IS the pot of gold.

There is an epic world and story inside of us comprised of conditioning, beliefs, and experiences that have formed our current perception and feelings toward ourselves and Other. These energies are held as players in our Grand Play. We get to go back to the playground of our youth and use that free imagination to re-member our selves back into Wholeness. However, this quest is full of facing our deepest wounds and our darkest sides, in many realms of our interdimensional existence.

We are not out to battle them, defeat them, or deal with our “shit”. We are meant to outfit ourselves with the power of Love and go find these wounded, scared, angry, and powerful parts of ourselves. They are the real target of our INtentions. We go find their stories and see how they have manifested themselves in our lives. It is a real-life soap opera right inside of us. Though the point is to heal the suffering and eventually end the long-running show.

You are much grander and joyful than you may be currently feeling in this current consciousness. Turning the gaze and quest inward is a remarkable journey that, when leaned into and deepened, can provide the Next Level of your passion, purpose, and both inner and outer romance. As we each make our way, we all make our way.
******

If you have not taken in Jelelle Awen’s 33 Day series, I would highly recommend it. It is the springboard for your own inner quest. It is better than Netflix because you are the writer, director, and star of the show. It can provide a lot of awareness to what may have been hidden or just plain afraid to face. As you follow the journey there will be checkpoints along the way to digest all you have taken in. There are two group meetings over Zoom scheduled for Janurary 12 and February 2. You can access this series on her page or on our YouTube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3&fbclid=IwAR0TxtgJfEYn206g83GiaCFctfCk0Z10XxTS0DUPM670JIJZYUpW83IaTHI

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Year Of Inviting And Loving The Dark: Healing The Masculine Heart

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

It feels like a new year already. Somehow we made it through a rebirth canal. Some deep pieces were highlighted for each of us to feel and move through. As the UP ticking of energies continues what feels like a maniacal trajectory, you may be starting to feel the epicness of the year to come. The collective shadow is being drawn toward the increasing light that is being fostered within each of us as well as Gaia’s vibrational ascent.

In a recent session, a truly beautiful soul was feeling as if he was a Dark One. This label so feels like the Scarlet Letter of our inner shadow. There is a heavy judgment, a shame, and a pang of guilt that come with that. The reality, the way I see it and feel it, is really about the most forgotten and hidden aspects of ourselves that are seeking solace, compassion, and understanding underneath the heaviness and/or anger. They are timelines that have profound anchoring in our heart and soul.

This Dark One felt as if it had the burden and responsibility to hold the light due to this guilt and penance for all that it had done in its lifetime. This holding and shining the light in the name of fight or penance don’t actually serve Love. They only serve to sustain the fight and the penance. We were feeling how self-forgiveness and self-love are what hold the mantle of the Light in its purest form.

As a man serving other men, I am sensing this to be a big part of our ascension. We hold so much guilt and shame around what has happened and is happening in other timelines, to put it multidimensionally, that we have formed a layer of either penance, control, or both in order to steer clear of the Dark One inside. Neither of which offers an authentic and deeper feeling of true power WITH the feminine. It can be over and under, or a mix of the two.  

So for my own process and intention for this new year, I feel to honor and invite the Dark One into the openness of my heart. It is He that holds the humility, the sobriety, and the poignancy of the Light. It is the Sacred King in us all that seeks not to slay his dragons, but to love them. He asks for the help of his inner guides, as well as the outstretched arms of those that are here to hold that space for him when the time is right. Let us do this together and not alone. That is our next level as New Earth Men.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

A Bridge To The SOULstice: Feeling And Truth On The Altar Of Your Inner Church

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

The more I connect with this coming solstice the more I feel its significance for all of us individually and as a collective. We are being invited to get real with ourselves about what is true for us in all domains of our lives. This can trigger much upheaval in our being that can be filled with anxiety, loss, loneliness, and fear.

The overlay of the 3D relationship to the season can create dissonance with what is truly moving in the Heart. It can even create a blind spot which isn’t fully felt until after the holidays have passed. Yet, right NOW your soul is rumbling. Right NOW your heart is aching and yearning. The body is reacting and resisting. Christmas shopping be damned!

What is real is your reality. That which is denied its truth WILL find its way, one way or another. Our pain and suffering ultimately don’t give a shit what time of year it is. What really matters is that feeling and truth gets its rightful place on the altar of our inner church. This is the message of the Solstice. What is ready to be handed over to The Divine to be shorn of that which no longer serves its ultimate truth and vulnerable authenticity?

These rumbles are making their way through our own community as well as those that we are connected to through service. Healing and growth live in the Now. They do not respond to a calendar or a tradition. The heat of Divine Love catalyzes change and that can burn as well as act as a salve.

So while the ‘time’ of the season has the least importance, the Spirit of it assumes more. Lean into that Spirit for guidance and for holding. If it seems light years away then you can lean into others who feel that Spirit and Heart within them who are here to serve that to those that are in need. You never have to do this alone.

Please join my beloved Kalayna and me this Friday for a live stream at 11:11am. We will be talking about the current Solstice energies, their impact on our daily lives, as well as connecting to the Christ consciousness energies of Christiel and Magdalena in a guided meditation. It is for all those in overflow and those in need of connection. We look forward to hearing what the season is bringing you to feel and respond to. We will offer our SoulFullHeart perspective and what inner connections could be made to beginning and deepen your healing journey.

Much Love and Trust.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

A Bridge To The SOULstice: The Sacred Well Of Our Vulnerability

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

On this list of reflective explorations that I am feeling into on the way to the SOULstice, I feel that the Heart is the most complex and challenging to go into alongside our social connections. It is the realm of our truth and our deepest desires and passions. It has been the one that I have personally had my biggest challenges with. Being aware of and expressing out what is real in the heart domain.

In the vastness of awakening and ascension transmissions, the heart and emotions can seemingly be covered over as something to transcend or bypassed. There is a deep protection of the Heart and Its Truth due to so much wounding that has occurred in this life and other lives, past, present, and future. Being vulnerable to what we are feeling and experiencing is a maturation process that I feel we are all a part of on this global and galactic journey. We are all in need of growing up in this department, some less or more than others.

The time of the SOULstice offers an invitation to feel what is true inside of our emotional body. The frequencies we dip into in reaction to all sorts of circumstances very much affect our ability to let in and express love. It is the messiness of our truth-telling that opens portals, completes old patterns and creates opportunities for deepening and expansion. It brings us to the edge of what really matters the most…what is the most poignant (thank you, Kalayna).

I am still in the healing and feeling curve when it comes to this one. I feel it is for a lot of men, and the masculine in women both. There is so much that we don’t know about ourselves because we haven’t given ourselves the permission, or feel the safety of, going into the depths of what is our truest North. Parts of us can easily accept the goodness of being content and “better than it was”. This may be a necessary phase in order to heal. But it is also a time to gather strength for the next levels of our truth, the beacon of our own light.

It is a time for exploring and feeling the wounds and protection around your inner voice. During this time of gathering with others, you can become aware of the triggers and reactions within and just notice the mechanisms that keep your truth at bay. There are self-loving reasons for it and those are honored. Then there are parts of the journey in which you begin to express more of what is moving through and in your heart, whether they appear “right” or “rational”.  This is done in negotiation with your Inner Protector. 

Some questions to ponder are:

*How does it feel inside of me when I have a truth to tell that I don’t feel comfortable to express?
*What is good about keeping reactions and vulnerability at bay?
*How was relating to emotions modeled to me in my family and what impact does it have on me now?
*If you are one who is free to speak your truth, what energy do you feel is underneath the truth-telling? Is it compassionate, charged, matter-of-fact?

The emotional body is like an untapped, unexplored well of parts, held by the Inner Protector, and Metasoul aspects that are in deep need of being felt and integrated. The most spiritual people in the world are only as mature as their emotional bodies, hence the news of some leaders being exposed in very unsightly circumstances. Our spiritual ascension is in concert with our emotional ascension. Going into this well certainly provides the fuel for the growth that our souls, beloveds, and star families are longing for us to embody and model for the universe at large. We are the truth we have been waiting for.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

A Bridge To The SOULstice: The Mirror Of Our Social Relationships

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

This time of year is a big one to reflect on our social relationships. These relationships offer each of us a deep reflection of ourselves. Even the lack or missing of others provide a pathway into our needs and desires.

The 12/12 portal offered us Christiel and Magdelena energies of intimacy and alignment. That which is not in alignment with our deepest passions and highest timeline is being invited into a space of either completion or deepening. The social dynamics in our lives can provide some of the more difficult choice points in our awakening and ascension journeys. They can be energetic anchors or enlivening and growthful connections. The ones that feel to bring us the most heaviness of heart generally are ones that have an energetic and emotional bind inside, usually from a part that has a deep connection rooted in fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of harm. Fear of judgment.

This season is meant to bring us together into groups. These groups show us a lot about ourselves when we are open to feeling into it. The Inner Proctector has a lot to say about these relationships and can be the part of you that is in deep resistance to being honest about them and feeling what may have to be said or done that will bring you to a higher and more aligned relationship. Again, when dropped for a moment, the veil of fear can illuminate the nature of these relationships, be it family, friend, romantic, or business.

Heading into the SOULstice, I feel we are being provided with the energies to go inward and reflect upon these relationships and dynamics. Taking a little time to head out into the stillness and solitude of nature, or finding a quiet time and space in your home can provide the sacred doorway into your truest heart desires and needs. Some questions to feel into may be:

  • What do I imagine my most enlivening and growthful relationships to look and feel like?
  • How does that feeling and vision match what I am experiencing now with ALL my relationships?
  • Can I bring all of who I am, feel, and believe to those that I am closet too? Why or why not?
  • If there is one that stands out as being not as nourishing as I would like or need, what is it that is keeping me from taking it to that level, regardless of nature of the relationship, i.e. mother, father, friend, spouse, etc.?
  • Feel the relationships that provide goodness and depth as markers to what it is you really deserve and desire in all interactions. If there are “yeah, but’s” in response, that can be a doorway to a resistance that is need of feeling and hearing out, usually an inner protection.

This can be a difficult yet illuminating exercise. A lot of energy is built up in our relationships and therefore need the space and compassion to feel through on multiple levels and timelines both this life and in the metasoul. This season gives us a special opportunity to feel everything that lies within our emotional reactions and triggers. I honor all that comes to the surface in response. Those reactions can be felt out in open-hearted sacred space with someone who has been through these death and rebirth experiences within the social domain of life like we offer in SoulFullHeart sessions.

Thank you for taking in this very sensitive yet catalytic topic in regards to the next level of growth and goodness. There is a treasure trove of self-love waiting at the door of your heart when the time is ready and ripe. Just taking the time to feel and be real is what leads us to what is next in our Divine journey of embodying the love that we ARE.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Your Truth Is Your Uniqueness

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

When you feel like a blade of grass, remember you are watered by a snowflake.

These are words I felt to offer a soul aspect of mine that I am connecting with that can feel like he is not unique in the world. He has relegated himself to one of many in order to not be seen as unique, and therefore subject to criticism and persecution. He has invalidated his own truth, his own uniqueness in order to stay as the blade rather than the snowflake that he is. Just like each and every one of us.

These timelines run thick in our collective vein. The specifics of each are different for each of us but the theme is the same. The fear of breaking out of the herd in order to be heard. To be seen. As I feel into the depths of this wounding, I can see myself on both sides of the punisher/shame coin. The persecutor and the persecuted. They sit in the same room and to feel them both as me is its own unique experience. To be a third party to it, I can be a bridge to the two worlds. I can offer compassion, space, and a heart to land in. I can be the mediator of the healing between both poles and begin the integration process.

These are not just concepts or words coming together, but actual visceral lives that hold poignancy and relevancy. It is an inner play that is acted out and truly felt as real because it is. The tears and pain prove it in my book…and my heart. Not just in my head. The story is still new to me and details arising and I feel to keep it sacred inside of me, but I felt to share the theme and the process as I can feel it resonating with others that are awakening into there own largess of being.

For as we all go down this path of Integration and Ascension, you come to these places where parts of you have invalidated what they have truly felt as Truth on the inside in order to be that blade of grass. Connecting with the Higher Self and Inner Truth, you can water that blade with all the necessary courage and strength to make your selves be known to You and then to the world without fear of being punished for you hold the the light of Love inside of you. It does not seek validation from the outside anymore. This is where freedom reigns and true love lives.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Fall Of Construct And The Rise Of The Ascending Self

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Yesterday in meditation, I got this image of the game called Jenga. For those that have not heard of it, it is a game where you stack blocks of wood in alternating directions and then take one piece out at a time so as to not collapse the structure.

This felt like an apt metaphor for the awakening and healing aspects of Ascension. As one awakens to a truth, whether emotional, experiential or learned, a structure or construct comes to light. You ‘see’ what is going on and how it has been the basis for what is perceived as reality. This is not just about an outer reality, but also an inner reality. It can be easier to see the outer matrix than the inner one.

This construct is built through our reactions and defenses to this life and soul woundings. It is a reality that seemed solid at one point, but as the echoes of the veils continue to dissolve you can see how it was always in maintenance by the protective layer within each of us. The deconstruction of that construct is no simple act.

The first few pieces may be hard to move. They represent the construct Itself. There are deep emotions tethered to them that need to be negotiated with. To obliterate this structure is neither loving nor productive. It takes the time it takes.

As you continue to move one piece at a time, there become pieces that seem core to the stability of the structure. It gets to a point where the removal of the piece will surely collapse the whole gig. The part of us attached to that structure, invested or identified with it, can feel an existential fear of its collapse.

This is the nature of our continued growth and becoming. There is no ‘safe’ zone to hang out in other than the trust in the Love that is holding this whole process we signed up for. It is the table that holds the blocks. These blocks are the parts and metasoul aspects that have so much to heal and be felt in. They can be reintegrated into a more authentic and pure source of light, a prism if you will.

Now, this is very conceptual in its deliverance but the process is far from that. It is very visceral and emotional. It invites yet presses. It leaves you up against your walls and ultimately into your heart. The construct is honored and blessed for what it held for us to get to a new place of awareness and action. I honor the space that is held for me in my journey as I hold that space for others. This is never just a journey of One, but an integration of All.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Dance And Consequence Of Ascension Energy

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

So much information/energy finding its way to the surface of our collective consciousness and activating our DNA. Energy from the Cosmos activating the Sun and passing it onto and INTO the earth. It activates the inner Earth Sun and reverberates back the surface again. I can see a symbiotic dance of this information/energy. It is all a part of the solar/Gaian ascension process that we are so fortunate to be a part of and a witness to.

We are an integral part of this process. Each and every one of us. While is continues with or without us, it is made stronger, brighter, and more beautiful WITH us. It is an active participation where we no longer have to be bulled over or suffer over the consequences of these intense waves of eLOVEution. We can consciously connect with the pain, with the fear, and with the shadow that is invariably making its way each and every day.

As each of us goes into these arising pings and pangs, we integrate and activate a new and higher timeline of consciousness. We bring in more of what wants to be made real with Love and Knowledge beyond what we have chosen to live with until it is no longer needed and/or desired.

Our support team within the Earth, outside our atmosphere, and interdimensionally are all here to offer guidance and seek healing. They too are going through a process and as One we have our own gifts to remember and to share. Let these unfolding awarenesses and experiences to support your inner shifts, movements, and growth edges. They are the revery bells of a New Day….A New Season of life on Earth.

I feel how much our ancestors (what I would call Metasoul brothers and sisters) are reaching out through all sorts of different ways and means. Let us hear, feel, and head their messages and invitations. Go within, connect, feel, heal, integrate, share, and repeat. Support is here in human form as well which helps to fully land in the heart of your being. Much love to you on this and every other day to follow.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.