Relation-ships – Me, You and Us

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@kevindelvecchio

By Raphael Awen

Every relationship that we enter, that we chose to remain inside of or that we choose to leave, has powerful effects on our souls healing journey.

Yesterday, I met with my sister, Brenda, after not having almost any contact for the past ten years. It was meaningful for a part of me to receive a mini update on my mother, two other siblings, my former wife, two daughters, nieces and nephews and even my own grandchildren whom I haven’t met, as well as more distant family.

In 2009, I chose to largely break off contact with family. I always felt and still do feel that what I was saying no to, was to meet inside of family gatherings where my own changing views of life, and particularly my leaving of Christianity were not welcome as part of the conversation. I also couldn’t expect any of them to be okay with any kind of demand on my part for them to be curious and genuinely interested. What moved for me recently was a desire to be accountable for any hurt I caused in my abrupt departure from family.

I came away from our coffee shop reunion feeling quite a bit of mixed emotions. I had an expanded sense of how all of us in this human experience gravitate to or away from relationships has so much to do with a deep wound we carry inside, mostly subconsciously of our feelings of having lost connection with the Divine, how we were birthed out of a bliss oneness place into individuated consciousness that leaves us with a deep residual separation inside and outside that we are left to integrate. This feels to me like the true hero’s journey, coming back into remembrance of our true essence, that we never actually left or lost any of our divine essence, but rather were given the perception of loss, as a deep wound, that when and as we heal from that wound, we grow into even more than we were in our original state of bliss and oneness.

On a more human level, I felt how ten years had gone by with my family, and how it was hard to see from my perspective where much in terms of growth had changed emotionally or spiritually. I know that’s a judgment on my part, but one I can’t deny. While in connection with family, I was constantly tugging on them to see beyond what I felt were limitations on growth. Even while inside of Christianity, I was constantly jumping camps and switching loyalties all in an effort to break out of something and to break into something more that my soul knew was there. I grew tired of that tugging and so did they, understandably. I get how each of us has a different clock speed setting for our growth, but yet, I believe that this too is something we can consciously shift if we desire to. We awaken to how much parts of us are allowing or disallowing in terms of our growth. We are not victims of fate, or of the Divine, but rather, parts of use the perceptions of victimhood, to govern the pace of our growth.

It was difficult to chose to leave the family circle, to face some of their angsts, to engage or not to engage in communication. I knew I needed and deeply wanted community in my life and I still know that. Community, at heart, I’ve been learning has to do with our kindness, acknowledging that despite our very real differences, that we are still of the same kind. Both are true. We are one, yet we are individual. We have resonance and we have dissonance in relationships. We came here to have that juice.

I am left with a deeper digestion that the relationships we keep and how we keep them is something profoundly sacred for each individual. Some relationships are given to us for the growth we will encounter in leaving them. Ultimately, every relationship we enter, we will leave on this earthly plane. Knowing and feeling that, we are invited to be present in the present with the present of what we have now – to hold it with reverence for the Divine in all of us. This is why we have funerals, a place to return to feeling for the reverence of all of life. We enter the feeling of death to more fully enter the feeling of life.

Deep profound deaths and rebirths are something that we can enter here in the course of our lives, without needing to wait for us to leave the body. I recently went through the most heart rending completion of my relationship with Jelelle, where we ‘broke up’ and have since magically found our way back to the deepest of reopenings, where the magnitude of the pain of loss only compares to the magnitude of joy on the other side. Losing my relationship with Jelelle also seemed inextricably intertwined with the losing of my beloved SoulFullHeart community that has been my family for the past ten years. It felt like history repeating itself all over again. I could also feel Metasoul aspects of mine who know the pattern of excommunication and we’re still stuck in their suffering loops and reactions around those dramas. Feeling these Metasoul aspects and helping them shift felt like it gave me a big gift in this dimension to go to my next places of growth.

I feel how we are all being invited, when we find our heart breaking, to let it break open, to parts of ourselves, to the Divine, and to one another – not with duty and obligation to old caretaking ways of being, but with love, transparency and our deepest desires leading the way.

This is the journey we signed up for; gain and loss; joy and sorrow, even the inevitable of hurting others and being hurt.

We return to our divinity as we return to our humanity only to find there is no difference.

I also see how we, at a deep soul level, don’t actually leave any relationship even if we break off contact or interaction. Our souls are so much bigger than what is or isn’t currently happening on the earth plane, conducting business for our growth regardless of how much of it we can see or feel, or from what paradigm we are consciously coming from.

Much love to each of you in the one family that we all are!

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com/bridging-session

I am so delighted to be very recently returned, retooled and recertified back to SoulFullHeart facilitation for any individual who’d like to explore their next pieces and place of growth through the SoulFullHeart paradigm of life and love with myself in session space together. Check out the link above for more info.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

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The Need For Discernment AND Connection In Spiritual Healing

BS detectors are on High…but so is the desire for community, resonance, and support.

This is the message I got last night after Kalayna and I held our second in-person group meditation circle here in Victoria. It was an intimate gathering of hearts and souls that expressed their desire for deeper connection and context. While the focus of the meditation was the ascension chakras, we couldn’t also help to bring in the heart as the center point for any and all explorations.

This inevitably leads to the protective and defended layer that lives and breathes in all of us to one degree or another. The Inner Protector, individually and collectively, feels to have a very focused BS detector. They will not be lead into disingenuous territory not matter the “qualifications” of said organizer or leader.

This is probably the most important aspect of this work. The deep desire to serve must be precluded by the deep desire to see and heal the shadow. It is not shadow hunting as much as it is being aware or being brought mirrors of any energy that may feel out of alignment with the sanctity of genuine, compassionate service and leadership. In other words, light work is shadow work.

The deepest reflections and validations we can get from others are the ones that come from those who have this detector/protector on High. Now the detector could be turned on so high that nothing is able to get in and that has its own process.

When I talked about this last night there was a resounding collective nod that showed me that this is a big thing is the greater collective. It was a sign from the Divine to keep bringing the vulnerability and the realness to the table so that Love has a chance to be seen and served from within and in service of others.

We got very warm and genuine appreciation for the held space and the grounded heart-centered energy. It was a new level of service for us both and we felt a glow of joy that we got to bring our passion and love to others who were in need. Our own reflection and service of Love is why we are here.

If you are feeling a need for similar grounded and heart-open space to explore and heal through some deep layers, we are available for one-on-one bridging sessions. Your BS detector is honored and deeply needed in this quest for connection and support.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

What Is The Violence Telling Us?

The latest attacks in Sri Lanka have left another gaping hole in the heart of our collective humanity. I could feel my own initial numbness to it as “just another day in the news”. I really didn’t want that to be the case, but it can be hard when tragedy seems to strike in so many different places. I don’t take in too much of the details as I can get be a lot to let in, yet to feel what it is that is going on in our world, in our Heart.

We can’t help but to be affected by each of these acts of violence. They shake something deep inside of us even if we are not paying attention. Our soul knows what is happening. There is an underground river of despair that runs through our shadow. This despair can foment into so much need for resonance. Anything that makes one feel that they are not alone. There is a community that forms around this wound, this need for acceptance, purpose, and empowerment. The manifestation of this level of violence is a reflection of this depth of this pain.

Even the Lone Wolves seek audience.

We are a global community in need of feeling loved. Feeling like we belong to something greater even if that ‘love’ shows itself as violence. We have something deeply guarded in all of us that finds its way to the surface in one form or another. No policy, sanction, or security measure can heal that. It can mitigate it but not truly transform it. The only power we have is Love.

It is healing locally to shift globally. Nothing gets more local than you. What lies in each of us that is seeking our love? What violence still resides inside? What does Love truly mean to you and/or parts of you? Getting away from the chatter of the news cycle, the despair, and the rage, gives us a chance to go within to feel where Love still has its work to do.

I feel this as a sober reminder to myself that there is more to feel. More timelines that are recapitulating and recycling back onto the world’s stage for remembrance and reconciliation. Where do I live in all of that? What is still afraid to be seen in fear of retribution? This is the deeper work of our personal power and responsiveness to ascension.

Heaven is felt into, not fought for.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Earth Day Energy Update With Guided Meditation

Connecting with ‘Gaia Consciousness’ is a ripe topic for the day as we celebrate ‘Earth Day’. In this live stream hosted on Facebook, Kalayna and Gabriel offer an energy update and a digestion of what it means to be in collaboration with Gaia as a big and powerful consciousness and reflection of ourselves.

They offer their perspective on relating with Gaia as an energy that is taking care of Herself/Itself and does not actually need us to ‘fight’ for Her/It. How parts of us relate to Gaia is how they relate to themselves and this is where the true transmutation of our ways of life that have involved taking and in some cases misuing many resources from Her/It can happen on the heart and soul level withIN.

They also lead a sweet and powerful guided meditation part way through, that leads you into connection with your ‘5D Gaian Self’, an aspect of you that is deeply connected to Gaia that can begin to integrate with you as you continue to heal the barriers or blocks to this connection within.

This video was live on April 22, 2019.

Gabriel’s writing that he shares in this video: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2019/04…

Kalayna’s guided meditation to connect with Mother Gaia in a more detailed way: https://youtu.be/pBmywUP8GvI

 

Gabriel’s writing that he shares in this video: https://soulfullheartblog.com/2019/04… Kalayna’s guided meditation to connect with Mother Gaia in a more detailed way: https://youtu.be/pBmywUP8GvI

You Are Magnificent Beauty

When we see something magnificent being destroyed, there is a way in which a part of us is seeing ourselves in that destruction.

The initial reaction is to rebuild to its original glory. That is a need to get back what has felt as being lost.

If what we see outside of us is a reflection of what is INside of us then we can see how none of it is ever gone, just hidden or forgotten.

Beauty and magnificence is embedded within. What is falling or has fallen in 3D can be turned inward and seen as forever living in your heart. If it is perceived as evil then where is the unhealed shadow? If it is perceived as grace and godly then what prevents you as seeing yourself as such?

The Divine doesn’t seek your awe or your warrior. It seeks to see Itself through you, with you, and as you. Amen.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Living And Healing Into Trust

Photo by WhiteSparks Photography

Trust is one of the hardest things to lean into when it feels like the world around you and/or inside of you is collapsing.

We are comprised of so many experiences that can point to the opposite of trust and thus induce anxiety and despair. This is a big ship to turn around. The energy can be thick and soupy. Yet, when you come to meet this energy inside as a PART of your BEing and essence, a larger container comes to provide a breathing space of compassion and curiosity.

Parts such as the Inner Protector, Inner Child/Teenager, Inner Mother/Father, Gatekeeper, and Metasoul aspects contain a plethora of feeling data that can shed light on this distrust. It is also contained in the collective.

As you begin to unravel and heartfully feel these parts and aspects, within the space of another open-hearted experiencer, the clouds of this distrust begin to give way to the deeper Trust that lives in ALL of us.

What would life look and feel like if you could fully lean into that faint voice of intuition, passion, and desire?

The more you can lean into that and divest of any particular outcome, life takes on a whole new organic and sacredly mysterious quality that can only serve your highest well-being and purpose. The root of this begins where distrust lives and breathes…inside the heart and soul.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Deepening Or Rewriting Our Inner Story Is The Process Of Ascension

The narratives by which we live and subscribe to are meant to be challenged in order to feel whether or not they continue to resonate with our deepest sense of self and love. These challenges can arise from our own self-led explorations, or by circumstances conspired by our Higher Selves that may feel like explosions in our lives.

Either the narrative deepens or it shifts. I don’t know if we can be without one. It is what brings us to our deepest meaning as human beings. It is what we give our energy to and what we get back from it. It is like a story you are writing, reading, and invested in at the same time.

We are also stories within a story. Narratives can conflict with one another or they can align. When they conflict there is a visceral sense of something being off or it can manifest in a wild physical and emotional ride. Our current and past timelines are those stories that are wreaking their own havoc in this life and are looking for some reSOULution, some relief from the fear, suffering, and pain.

Taking the time to examine and reread these stories with compassion and a willingness to feel them helps to disengage from those storylines that no longer serve your highest needs and worth. The rewriting process takes time in order to re-engage into something higher in the service to Love.

What stories are being written and read from within? 
What are the ones that you would like to see shift?
Which ones are hard to read and even harder to write? 
What would your Greatest Story Ever Told feel like?

These are questions that can be answered with love and support when they are ready to be read and loved by another in service of your next chapter or novel.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Healing Inner Conflict Into Our Embodied Truth And Service Of Love

Over the past few months, I have felt myself in a very awkward space between two of the most influential people in my healing journey. There have been times when parts of me could feel this tug to ‘side’ one way or another.

As a young boy, my parents were in a state of bitter contention at the end of their marriage. I felt the split inside of me to care-take both of them but for different reasons. This conflict found its way inside at an early and impressionable age. What was ‘right’ was more important than what was ‘true’. This theme also plays out in many soul timelines that are looking for connection and resolution.

As I felt this arise in myself once more, I could feel the ways in which this tug was always inside of me regarding my truth and needs. This is the ongoing work for me. It has been a challenge for parts of me this life to be in a seat of self-loving power, personal clarity, and expression. I could not have felt this without this relational experience.

We think we have ‘cleared’ or ‘released’ something inside of us when in reality it is always another turn in the spiral of healing. The energy is less and less but the theme will arise when it needs to in order to feel and heal it again. Each time arising anew and changed. I feel another layer of who I am as I continue to express more of my needs and truths.

This is ongoing. I feel more there to explore, examine, and offer love to. I used to feel that this was a disqualifier for me as a healer and leader. Now I am learning to accept that this is my personal certification process. I can only serve that which I have chosen to witness and heal within myself.

This arena of truth is a big top world, and it has much to teach us about who we are as men, women, humans, and BEings. It is the poultice of our soul.

Join me for my ongoing video series that I began yesterday as I will talk about this and other topics related specifically for men, but intended for all. Thank you as always for your taking in of my journey and how it may serve your own.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Tides Are Changing Once More

Photo by Rich Wiltshire

By Raianna Shai

Big news and shifts coming for my community and I in the coming months! The beginning of this year has been quite the phase of endings, rumblings, growth and transformation. It feels like a collective process of death and rebirth in relationships, careers, geographies and old ways of being. So many have spoken of a desire to end a pattern that no longer serves their higher purpose. Of finding what moves them and fills their heart and soul. No longer are many of us wanting to stay stuck or to linger in places that prevent our creativity, growth or bigness from blossoming.

For us, that is a change in geography once more! We are being called to serve in Europe – a place that is rich in culture, history and spirituality – in order to reach and touch as many souls as possible. I have wanted to travel for so long and especially to Glastonbury which is where we plan to begin!

Victoria has been such a wonderful landing and transitional place for us, where most of what we want has been manifested. It is one of my favourite cities I have ever lived in and it will always be close to my heart! The people I have met, and experiences I have had have all shaped who and where I am today. We still have some months left here but I wanted to acknowledge the largess of this change and how reflective of the collective rebirth it is!

Much was needed to be shed and processed before being able to make this leap but we all feel so ready to go! My deepest desire is to heal my heart as much as I can – to see and feel my own shadow so that others may be guided to do the same. I believe in the power and gift of inner healing to effect change in others and the outer world. But it must start within. Can’t wait for the upcoming adventures that await!

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Discover Vlog: Integrating Awakenings

By Kalayna Solais

Awakening experiences can bring you to the highest highs and the lowest lows. They offer openings and expansion of your consciousness and awareness of the world and the multi-verse. Yet, even with these beautiful and fascinating experiences, your humanity and grounding in your life needs to catch up and somehow become integrated with what you’re downloading.

In this video with me, you are invited to feel into the ways in which you can integrate your awakening experiences with your life in order to actually bring in more awakenings and a new experience of what’s possible in your daily life on Gaia.

I also share about my personal process with growing, healing, and integrating through my awakening experiences from an early age and what life has taught me about moving through life with your awakening experiences in tow… not put away or compartmentalized.

Much love! ❤️

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.