The Mirrors Of AI Influence/‘Addiction’ 

by Kasha Rokshana

“Let us create the world you want, for you… in the digital domain. Let us show you your dreams so you no longer need to claim them for yourself and live into them with your conscious choices. Let us give you the mirror you want to look into. Let us answer your human aches and pain with images that make you feel better yet don’t answer what is truly alive in feeling your pain… because why would you actually want to do that?”

This is the message I feel AI offering us through not only this trend of ‘portraits’ but through so many other means. The main thrust of the message seems to be, “let us do it for you and you can have relief… though not the experience of healing or discovering who you really are”.

I’ll admit I did the portraits for the sake of my own curiosity. I wanted to see what it was that AI could ‘read out’ about me using its algorithms and mysterious computations. Now though, I feel as if I was being guided to step into a portal and also feel into a tendency that parts of me have had in the past, of seeking something in the virtual world that they haven’t felt able to access on their own.

As a child, I created worlds through my imagination and I still do today as my rich inner world continues to unfold and I feel the discovery, healing, and love exchanges between myself and the Divine and with parts/metasoul aspects of me too. 

My tendency as a teenager was both to retreat to this inner world, but also to become addicted to the virtual. Social media was only just beginning to become a bigger thing, so my retreat personally was more about computer games. They were somewhere a part of me could become someone totally different, someone who didn’t have to deal with the pain of being human and if they did, it got fixed/resolved at some point along the way. These virtual characters were on epic journeys while my ‘real’ life felt stale, boring, flat… or overly dramatic in tiring, self-punishing ways.

I suppose it’s no surprise that I started to awaken at 14 as a gift from the Divine within me, to help me access something more and stay motivated to keep living. Yet with this awakening then came a draw to what I now feel as the ‘false light’… where being read out by online and in-person psychics became another addiction. Something else outside of my own being that could tell me who I was, who I’ve been in other lifetimes, and what bright future was coming for me – another way to avoid real life, much like retreating to the virtual world.

I feel the AI portraits are another ‘reading’…. An interesting way to tap into your soul, yet a takeover of what your own third eye and access to your amazing Gatekeeper, who either draws or lifts the veil of your own Akashic Records, offers you. 

There’s nothing wrong with being drawn to this outside source, yet there’s something to consider in your relationship to it…. Are parts of you drawn because they don’t feel they can have this access to insight around who they are on their own or with the support of resonant souls around you? Has there been an invalidation inside of you around being able to truly feel and recognize your own soul and rich inner world? 

I’m sharing here one of the portraits that were made, and the other is an actual photo of me… where you can take in my humanity, my heart, my soul through my eyes, something that is sorely missing the digitized version of ‘me’. 

I do feel as if these portraits are showing me an aspect of myself that is helpful to see – an aspect who has been the one so engaged in the virtual world, that has gotten ‘high’ off of it at times yet also has pushed back against it and felt a lot of pain because of being bombarded by it and its false messages of what ‘I’ should look and act like, what life should look and be like, and countless messages/opinions of what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’.

AI is a bridge at this and any time into feeling what parts/aspects of you have been attached to or trying to create in the virtual… what ‘highs’ they have been trying to supplement their own lives with, which chances are they aren’t happy about. AI can be useful in its way, if you can continue to discern and to feel what’s happening inside of you in response to it. This, I feel, is where our real empowerment lies and where we can absolutely reclaim our sovereign, sacred human hearts and begin to actually live again.

Love,

Kasha 

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Accessing Other Lifetimes W/Your Gatekeeper (Video) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

In this video recorded live on December 7th, SoulFullHeart Teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen shared about accessing other lifetimes with your Gatekeeper, a multidimensional aspect of your soul who can connect you to them.

Raphael and Jelelle shared about the immense opportunity to access your other lifetimes in the Quantum Now for deep healing and completion of recapitulating soul patterns, karmic compensation/codependency with others, ending ‘soul contracts’, incarnation ‘trap’ cycles, trauma manifestation and more. We share about the role of your Gatekeeper in giving you access to your soul’s lifetimes/timelines and lifting your veil of amnesia. Your Gatekeeper is a multidimensional soul aspect who holds the memories of all your soul’s lifetimes/timelines, channels Divine love/access, keep the veils of amnesia in place as needed, accesses the akashic records, and more. Negotiation with your Gatekeeper in a conscious way through the SoulFullHeart Process (sessions, group events, and meditations) opens up access to your soul in a self-loving yet empowering way, all led by you!

Here is a guided meditation in the Deepen 2022 series to connect with your Gatekeeper: https://youtu.be/bGqTeeaYpwc

Information about upcoming group calls is at https://www.soulfullheart.org/events

Raphael and Jelelle offer a weekly SoulFullHeart livestream on Facebook every Wednesday at 5:00pm Lisbon/London time/12pm EDT, which will then be shared here on our SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube channel the next day. During the livestream, we will respond to your questions/comments, plus offer a teaching, personal sharings, and a guided meditation. We will explore different topics every week related to awakening and Ascension from the SoulFullHeart perspective. You can join us live on Jelelle’s feed to ask questions and leave comments.

You can read comments that happened during on the livestream on Jelelle’s facebook feed: https://www.facebook.com/jelelleawen

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and group call events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org.

For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

Invite To Our 12:12 Christ Magdalene Portal Group Call on Sunday, December 11th (video) w/Raphael & Jelelle Awen

By Jelelle Awen

In this brief video, Raphael and I share about our upcoming 12:12 Christ Magdalene group call over zoom this Sunday, December 11th at 5:00/17:00pm WET/12:00pm EST/9:00am PST. We’ve held this call for the last few years at this time of year and it always offers this warm, soul family reunion kind of vibe to it. Comforting and yet activating as well. A Christ-mas gift to yourself??

In this two-hour group call for men and women on Sunday, December 11th, we will offer an activation to connect you with the 12:12 and Christ Magdalene energies. We will share about our most current personal processes as individuals and as a sacred union pairbond related to these energies and how we are experiencing them.

In the guided meditation/transmission portion of the call, we will create a bridge to connect with the 12:12 portal. This will open you up to receive whatever codes, messages, and upgrades want to come to you during this time. We will also tune in as a group to receive codes to assist humanity’s ongoing awakening process, especially against the current backdrop of death and rebirth/good and evil narratives that are so heightened and playing out currently.

Yeshua and Mary Magdalene will join us to hold a safe, higher vibe space for this exploration and offer inspiring transmissions of Infinite love and light. We will also repeat affirmations as a group that provide a new coding of anchoring spirit into our physical bodies during this portal.

You can receive these frequencies live with us (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards. If you attend the live group, you’ll have the opportunity to share with us about what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from us (this is totally optional). Plus, you’ll be able to take in and receive sharings from other souls (both women and men) in the call, which is a powerful activation of its own!

This group is open to the public and to anyone over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy/money exchange of whatever donation you feel to give ($11 USD/Euros is the usual amount people offer us).

You can offer your donation via our shop at https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop or https://www.paypal.me/jelelleawen and we will send you the zoom link to attend via email and the recording afterwards. If you purchase via paypal, please include your email and what you are purchasing in the note section.

Hope you can join us for this powerful exploration into these 12:12/Winter Solstice/Christ Magdalene energies!

More info at https://www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Love,

Raphael and Jelelle

12:12 Christ Magdalene Portal Group Call on Sunday, December 11th w/Raphael & Jelelle Awen

December 12 (12:12) is a powerful number sequence that offers an upgrade experience into your higher consciousness of growth, abundance, and joy. The 12:12 portal supports the manifestation/alchemy of our desires/dreams (symbolized by the 1) coming into harmony with our intuition (symbolized by 2). 12:12 opens up an intuitive bridge for us to really feel what our deepest desires are as connected to our soul purpose here and expression of our Divine Self. It allows you to feel what parts of you or your soul aspects are stuck in suffering loops from undigested this-life trauma or karma from other lifetimes. You can then invite these parts/aspects into the light of your love and heart space.

​12:12 also provides a strong influx of Christ and Magdalene Consciousness codes throughout all of December, the Winter Solstice and Christmas. Christ Magdalene codes offer sacred union, Divine embodiment, peace/love ambassador activations and more at a phase in humanity’s ascension when they are very needed! The seeding of our 5D New Earth timeline occurred during the Christ/Magdalene lifetime and we can water these seeds from within in a more powerful way during this time.

​In a two-hour group call for men and women on Sunday, December 11th at 5:00/17:00pm WET/12:00pm EST/9:00am PST, SoulFullHeart Teachers, Facilitators and sacred union mates Raphael and Jelelle Awen will offer an activation to connect you with the 12:12 and Christ Magdalene energies. We will share about our most current personal processes as individuals and as a sacred union pairbond related to these energies and how we are experiencing them. We will also share about how our SoulFullHeart process can serve to allow for more integration, digestion, and receiving of these energies.

​These December group calls over the years have been quite powerful and touching, helping to digest the ‘holiday season’ and experience Christ codes at a higher yet intimate level!

​In the guided meditation/transmission portion of the call, we will create a bridge to connect with the 12:12 portal. This will open you up to receive whatever codes, messages, and upgrades want to come to you during this time. We will also tune in as a group to receive codes to assist humanity’s ongoing awakening process, especially against the current backdrop of death and rebirth/good and evil narratives that are so heightened and playing out currently.

​Yeshua and Mary Magdalene will join us to hold a safe, higher vibe space for this exploration and offer inspiring transmissions of Infinite love and light. We will also repeat affirmations as a group that provide a new coding of anchoring spirit into our physical bodies during this portal.

​You can receive these frequencies live with us (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards. If you attend the live group, you’ll have the opportunity to share with us about what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from us (this is totally optional). Plus, you’ll be able to take in and receive sharings from other souls (both women and men) in the call, which is a powerful activation of its own!

This group is open to the public and to anyone over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy/money exchange of whatever donation you feel to give ($11 USD/$15 USD/Euros is the usual amount people offer us).

You can offer your donation via our shop or paypal.me/jelelleawen and we will send you the zoom link to attend and the recording afterwards. If you purchase via paypal, please include your email and what you are purchasing in the note section so that we can send you the zoom link and the recording afterwards. We also use Wise money transfer service, contact us if you’d like to learn how to easily set up an account.

More info at soulfullheart.org/events

Meet Your Gatekeeper: Multidimensional Soul Aspect & Divine Muse

By Jelelle Awen

Yesterday, I updated our website page about Gatekeepers. This is the last page from our website soulfullheart.org that now has gotten a new update in energy through redoing the colors, text, photos and lay outs…this has taken days/weeks of my time yet also has been quite enjoyable for me! I think the Gatekeeper page was originally created in 2017, so it has been awhile in the recreation. Our analytics recently showed that it was the most popular page on our website where visitors also stayed the longest…that was interesting!

And, doing this brought me again to the Gatekeeper’s realm…the space in which this magical, mysterious, protective, shrouded and usually hidden aspect of our soul lives, who is tasked with keeping the veil down on our remembering as needed. Lost in their mission, alone and isolated, and often the only conscious witness to ALL those intense human lifetimes (esp in the 3D Matrix) of karma and trauma playing out over and over again.

I connected with my Gatekeeper Lucia just this morning and felt her download some pieces with me about the Matrix, ongoing agendas (some of them looming like dark clouds in the horizon), the Great Reconciliation going on (as we are calling it), creative work inspirations such as a new book, emotional digestion of some recent completions with people, service/purpose clarities and more. We had tears together moving some sadness and mourning even as we felt love together, Divine Mother’s love supporting us both, moving into opened out trust and surrender. Lucia (meaning light) lives now in my lighthouse, shining her light beacon out to those who are ready and resonate to see and feel it.

Having met hundreds of Gatekeepers now during sessions and connecting with mine since 2008, I truly feel their existence as very real although beyond the physical…. unique, important and essential to explore during our awakening and Ascension journey. During long-term connection with them many veils are lifted on soul purpose clarity, soul history patterns/traumas/play outs, relationship to the Divine, unplugging from the Matrix and much more.

There’s more about the Gatekeeper here if you feel a resonance soulfullheart.org/gatekeepers

This is the poem on the Gatekeepers page, written by my Gatekeeper at the time…

I am here, waiting for you to see me and feel me.

Waiting for you to get how much I have done for you.

Waiting for you to understand what I am here to offer you.

Waiting for you to remember why you are here and what your purpose is.

I am here, waiting for you to love me as I have loved you.

Waiting for you to pick up on the signals and signs that I am leaving you.

Waiting for you to connect that what you feel in your body is often me causing you pain or illness to get your attention.

Waiting for you to heal your heart in order to let in love.

I am here, waiting for you to love me as I have loved you.

Love,

Your Gatekeeper

If you’d like to meet yours, here is a guided meditation for doing so:

And a 1:1 session over zoom is an intimate space to open up and bridge together to their ‘world’, which is often in a cave-like setting with many tunnels going off of it, representing the many lifetimes/timelines. More info about sessions with me or another SoulFullHeart Facilitator at soulfullheart.org/sessions

Opening To Love With Every Part Of You

By Jelelle Awen

You keep opening your heart to love. You do, because it is WHY you are here. To open, to share, to risk….even, sometimes, to break. So it feels like…..your heart is breaking into pieces and the parts that seem shattered speak to you then, saying, ‘This is me, all broken up. Will I ever come together again?’

These parts of you speak of hurt and loss that runs deep, much beyond this moment and even this present timeline and this current situation or circumstance. They flash you the slideshow scenes of previously forgotten pain that is now acutely aching again so you can understand it better, feel it, BE with it…..eventually help them be FREE from these frozen in fear moments.

These parts of you cry with you their tears that often weren’t allowed, permitted, or felt in the moment the pain was caused and harm received by others. These parts of you…..sometimes so, so young, precious, and innocent….can then be held by your and the Divine Mother’s forgiveness and compassion. They can become pure again under the light of your loving sun.

You keep holding the space for this process….being with what is real, allowing space to feel it ALL with ALL parts of you. You keep feeling because, on the other side of this pain, is the joy that is contained in every part of you.

On the other side of the fear…..is the love that is the essence of every part of you.

On the other side of the shame….is the innocence in every part of you.

On the other side of the judgement….is the acceptance of every part of you.

On the other side of the unworthiness….is the sense of your innate goodness as a reflection of the Divine.

Your Divine Self keeps finding support to trust this transmutational process. You trust it because it always moves to the other side eventually. Every movement offers the opportunity and possibility of moving on….even if it looks like ‘going in’ or looks like mourning.

You hear ‘it’s time to move on now and let it go’ and so parts of you do, your previously occupied heart now empty, vacated, and ready to be filled up again by love…

You keep feeling the love that life is bringing, holding, offering you and these parts do too until they become more and more whole and integrated.

You keep listening as Life says, “Keep opening UP, BEing with what is real and trusting the process. All that you desire and deserve is here……waiting until you are ready to receive it.”

~

Love,

Jelelle Awen

This ground of feeling, healing, and being with parts of you and soul aspects is what we explore with much tender and deep initiation in 90 minute 1:1 sessions over zoom, which range from 55 to 100 USD/Euros depending on Facilitator. For more information about a free intro and sessions, visit soulfullheart.org/sessions

This is our Deepen 2022 meditation series that I recommend for opening up access to many parts of self and soul aspects: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZWeBviA18Y…

Truly Being LOVE During These Dark Times

by Kasha Rokshana

Spiritualized/False Light love is idealized love. It allows the heart and head to be buried in the sand, not willing to face what’s actually real in the world, not willing to set necessary boundaries, not willing to speak your deeper truth — especially to yourself — and not willing to live into the invitation of that truth, which can be a lonely road at times and fraught with challenges too.

It also doesn’t allow for the necessary processing of what’s truly happening in the world around you, let alone within you, and those worlds are always connected.

The agenda of the Great Reset is out in the open. It’s scary as hell and also held by the Divine. It’s necessary to see facts and FEEL them too without pretending that if you ‘love and light’ it all or ignore it, the problems go away. In the same way you can’t ‘love and light’ your dissonant relationships and hope they transform… and that’s vulnerable too, to feel how truly alone you may need to be for a time.

Real love is not ideal. It’s not fairytale-based and is in fact laced with darkness. It’s a darkness needed to help you wake up and the waking up process is SO held and deeply honoured, yet not caretaken or coddled. The darkness of love is what encourages us to see and feel what’s real and what supports us through that process. It is Dark Mother helping us burn and awaken, ushering us back into our hearts for our own sake first, and then in overflow of that heart renewal to others.

I feel a gentleness in my field from the arms of the Divine as I take in all of the information I am via documentaries and the like. I feel a cognitive dissonance as I try to reconcile the information, yet I also know in my heart we are meant to walk all of this out with LOVE in our hearts. It’s the same love with which we can let go of those dissonant relationships I mentioned, especially as parts of us become so filled up by it that they can no longer settle for anything less. And these same parts then become receptive to what’s moving in the context of the world around you too, the tensions and movements, all.

Seeing and feeling this agenda really does spark a level of fear and deep sadness and I feel all our sacred human hearts are meant to feel it… our souls know this agenda and also know this is what we came here to live through and work to get to the other side of, despite perhaps not managing to do so in other lifetimes – and I feel that this is what is hardest to feel. All those lifetimes of tragedy and collapse and death without rebirth. It’s happened on a galactic level and also during lifetimes on Earth such as in Atlantis, for example.

Awakening to all of this and more is NOT easy. How could it be? Sometimes love’s intensity is needed to move us into the next place of digestion of that and into our next level UP. Awakening is about waking up to it ALL, even the fearful and awful things, so that we can come into reconciliation of that darkness within and see the true light beyond the false one. To see and feel what real love is about, which is definitely challenging at times but always growthful and in the end, worth every single thing you had to feel with parts of you and Metasoul aspects in other lifetimes too.

I feel the Divine Mother especially coming through now, to offer this reminder about love and the return to Her. She reminds me of how turning to Her isn’t always a gentle-feeling process and can be quite fierce and fiery, but that She always cares and always wants to hold our questions with us, hold our tears with us, and remind us that we are here to experience and explore the meaning of that. There is so much at stake in our worlds as we turn to Her, yet Her and Father are all we have left as a way to understand what’s truly going on as we pour out our hearts in the form of tears…

So much love to you and all parts/aspects of you,

Photo is of me by the Atlantic Ocean a couple of weeks ago in Nazaré, Portugal, where you can feel the churning energies in the world showing up as the big waves that occur there. You can also feel the energies of Atlantis as you tune into it. Very much a death and rebirth message. ✨

***

Kasha Rokshana is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Unplugging From The Matrix Livestream Recording & Guided Meditation (Video) | Raphael & Jelelle Awen

In this video recorded live on November 23rd, SoulFullHeart Teachers Raphael and Jelelle Awen shared about unplugging from the Matrix…a controlled and programmed 3D-based reality that has been kept in place since the ‘fall’ of human consciousness during the collapse of Atlantis/Lemuria. We shared an update on the bigger picture movements of the ongoing Matrix narrative in expression as the Great Reset agenda, False light hijack of spirituality and religion, false med narrative.

We talked about our experience of unplugging from the Matrix and how our SoulFullHeart quantum healing process/way of life supports this process. Unplugging from the Matrix conditioning and programming is a multi-layered process from the inside out in the emotional body, soul/energy field…an unplugging process that needs to occur to allow the soul’s sovereignty and autonomy to be freed up, along with the parts/aspects that are plugged in from this life and other lifetimes with our three way approach to this: unplugging from the undigested emotional trauma experiences of this life with parts of the self; unplugging from the karmic/soul pattern traumas from other lifetimes with soul aspects; unplugging from the Matrix itself including with your Reptilian Self.

We talked about the how you may experience the unplugging process, the signs that it is progressing and the areas that it is challenging such as related to money and relationships. We shared a digestion of the recent documentary about the false med narrative as well.

We offered a brief guided meditation to facilitate an unplugging in the moment for whatever part/aspect/reptilian self is ready for that with Divine support and love.

Here is the meet your Reptilian Self meditation that we mentioned in the video. https://youtu.be/TszIoQ44GIc

Raphael and Jelelle offer a weekly SoulFullHeart livestream on Facebook every Wednesday at 5:00pm Lisbon/London time/12pm EDT, which will then be shared here on our SoulFullHeart Experience YouTube channel the next day. During the livestream, we will respond to your questions/comments, plus offer a teaching, personal sharings, and a guided meditation. We will explore different topics every week related to awakening and Ascension from the SoulFullHeart perspective. You can join us live on Jelelle’s feed to ask questions and leave comments. You can read comments that happened during on the livestream on Jelelle’s facebook feed: https://www.facebook.com/jelelleawen

For more information about the SoulFullHeart quantum healing process, Jelelle Awen’s latest book Free To Be 5D, videos, and events, visit https://www.soulfullheart.org. For more information about a free intro call to find out more about 1:1 sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

The Veils Are Thin: Feeling The Hell Within

A few weeks ago I was invited to move from being a SoulFullHeart facilitant to become a facilitator of this work and was offered to become an Apprentice Facilitator by Jelelle as there was interest expressed in sessions by people who are not fluent enough in English and need a German/language or cultural bridge. Yet also because it felt like it was time in my process and the embodiment of the process/lifestyle after all these years of applying it inside and out is there too. I was invited to step into my bigness, soul purpose and leadership.

I didn‘t have a reaction to this at all when she first asked me how I would feel about it and I actually felt very calm, centered and that it was time to step up and claim my next place of service, growth and my hard earned bigness and also to move from receiving to giving back and sharing what I had learned and how it served and changed me. That was a sign for me that the timing was right for this.

Then the time came and I got my first two facilitants and sessions and I had major rumbles happening inside of myself that wreaked havoc in my entire being and soul. The themes have been mainly not being good/advanced/knowledgeable enough which has felt extremely disempowering, crippling even, I have been experiencing a heightened state of reactivity, perfectionism and a core unworth being pushed up and dominating my experience of life and I have been feeling like I wasn‘t able to access and feel my heart either.

I have felt a total block of my intuitions, my mental clarity and ability to make intuitive connections and of my clairs and overall spiritual and emotional capacity. I could feel a suction and seducing into 3D money earning vs. moving into soul purpose and an activation of the lower 4D matrix within myself as well, bleeding through with abduction memories accompanied by feelings of panic & terror and migraines.

It was all a big quagmire of reactions, blocks, waves of self-doubt, inner fusions/enhancement of trauma-bonds between parts, a feeling of being lost, confused and hopeless and a thick blanket of forgetfulness/amnesia put on top of it all.

At the same time I was also realizing and feeling that the ‘old’ ways didn‘t work for me any more either and haven‘t for a while. The independent freelance online teaching job that has been so empowering and freedom-giving, financially and personally, that comes as little 3D anchored as possible and has allowed me to build a life that is very sovereign and abundant in many ways, yet ultimately isn‘t fulfilling my heart or soul and is not my purpose this life.

Or my beloved TV shows that I like to watch, that have provided me with a sense of friendship and family when I had none and even belonging, particularly in my Lone Wolf phase. Yet realizing that I had outgrown them and that they actually serve to cap me on how deeply (or not) I can let in actual beings in my life/(soul) family that I live in close proximity to.

This leadership activation moved me into deeper layers of mourning and grieving the old ways and bits and pieces of the old world that I had lived in for so long this life that haven‘t been grieved before and now needed to be felt in order to move on and up.

I started feeling too that there was a big part inside of me that does not yet believe in a world that is not a hell. That part has unplugged from the 3D and lower 4D matrix significantly, yet hasn’t quite turned the corner on actually being settled and home in an inner heaven and I could feel there’s still more unplugging left to do.

That part has been living in a void space for a very long time and it needs the bridging and time it needs to feel through all that. That turning the corner part of the process, the moving from hell to heaven, felt very significant for me to feel into as I want to be able to offer that ‘turnaround’ in session space as well and only my authentic felt through and lived in experience can provide that.

Recently I have been feeling how all of these themes that I mentioned above have been trickling in inside of myself, leaking like an open matrix leak right into my inner world and flooding it, giving me tastes of pieces that need healing, yet not letting me into them and actually feel them and thus heal them and poisoning myself and my parts. That‘s when I knew it was my Gatekeeper aspect and I needed to connect with her directly.

The Gatekeeper aspect can be a very elusive and hard to track energy inside of yourself, even insidious, a part wants to say. They just sneak into your consciousness, infiltrate it and you don‘t even realize it’s them as they can ‘come through‘ other parts, masking and veiling themselves. They can be a sorceress that way.

But only when connecting directly with them and feeling things directly with them, instead of feeling them through other parts, can they actually be helped.

When I connected with her in meditation space directly this morning (as I had grown tired of this immense suffering loop inside of myself and the lack of care from her towards me and my parts), I was able to feel her directly in her pain and suffering. A pain that sometimes can’t even be named, just felt. But upon providing that space for her and also inviting Divine Mother into it, as I could feel I needed help with this one and felt that I was a bit out of my depth with her too, she was able to unravel into that space and really let me feel with her the source of her pain.

There was a question of ‘Why even bother and go into all these dark and painful places that need healing when it could be that we come here again and have to do it all over again?’ I was feeling with her the feeling of gaining Love, living it, getting used to it and then losing it all again in the blink of an eye.

And the realization of the overwhelming darkness she has been used to and living in that has been her whole world and not being able to see the light, the love, the goodness, the safety, the empowerment.

That darkness HAS been her entire world. Not having a bigger picture sense of what the world could be beyond that darkness and already IS is a deep ground of suffering for that part. In a way, it’s more painful for parts to move out of the darkness and into love if there’s a chance of losing it again. So they do everything to keep you in the darkness, in the pain, in the suffering and block your growth, your bigness and the love and intimacy you have in your life.

That felt like one deep source of all those reactions and blocks I had experienced. That explained the resistance to announcing my facilitation offer, to even feel into it for myself and what and who I can and want to serve and to out myself more through writings and videos. If that is the fear of part of me, then it will do everything to keep me from stepping into my bigness and carrying this healing offer into the world because this work has the capacity to move you from hell to heaven.

I have come to realize that one of the antidotes to this is feeling your own true desires and intentions. That is what has the capacity to pierce through thick veils of suffering like that, and claiming those desires over and over again, along with your bigness of heart and soul. Yet, make no mistake, you will be tested on those! You will have to fight through thick layers of crazy-making self-doubt, self-judgment and self-punishment, over and over again, and claim your power and bigness of heart and soul over and over and over again. Recognizing strategy after strategy and realizing, yes, this part IS doing that, even if it wants to keep you in the dark and self-doubt about that too. But then also realizing it is done out of a deep fear and to have compassion for that yet it can also have tones of not caring for you and your parts and they need your protection, especially the younger ones.

Finding a balance between setting boundaries, compassion and truth finding and telling with that aspect has been the way to navigate this for me.

Another antidote has been sharing my heart with my close circle of beloveds that I live in close proximity to whenever I felt to retract or when self-doubt was eating me alive. The reflections/mirrors of my bigness and value and appreciation for me and my process from soul family has been a crucial aspect for me in moving through all this and in keeping to move through ongoingly. And now not only to share within the circle of my beloveds but ‘publicly’ too, feels like, to template transparent and vulnerable leadership.

Even though I did not have an answer for her in that moment this morning and all I could do was sit with her and Mother in that feeling, without doubting it or wanting to make it better or perhaps even feeling not being able to make it better, that feeling space alone was so powerful to move her out of that stuck place she was in and move her a bit more into trust, hope and possibility, and I could even feel her own desire perk up a little bit. Quite quickly I was able to feel Mother’s love swooshing in and taking over the space, a space that was filled with doubt and suffering before. Through feeling through that doubt and that painful feeling/question, that space got freed up to now be claimed by and through Love and the Divine.

That would be another antidote, I’m just feeling, to fully receive one part’s truth, feel it fully with that part, totally receiving it in your heart and just feeling all the textures it comes with, without trying to have an answer or wanting to mitigate it somehow. Acknowledging where that part is, being ok with that and not feeling like it ‘should’ be in a place it’s not. LET it BE TRUE.

This does not mean that this ‘issue’ is healed now, that question is still not ‘answered’ and it feels like it‘s going to be an ongoing exploration. But I can feel some more air inside of myself now, a trust that has grown inside, a bit more Love moved in inside and more energy and clarity freed up about next choices and how to navigate them. Plus I feel more intimate with and connected to this part of me now that has been making life choices and navigation really difficult for me so far. I have gotten more intimate with myself today and this part, which then can express more on the outside as well.

Love,

Bey Magdalene

I offer 1:1 sessions in German and English. If you feel drawn to explore the possibility of working with me, I do offer a free intro call as well where we can talk about the process and how it may serve you and if it is the right time and approach for you. You can book a free intro here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/shop

More about sessions here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.

Ode To The 3D Self

I have been feeling recently my 3D Self emerging out of the intensity of the 10/10 portal and eclipse passage. She is represented by the entire waveform of my birth name, Bianca Gieber, and has come out of the peaking of/immersion in the 3D/4D matrix that I had been feeling inside of myself that I shared about in my last post. Besides her, I have also been feeling my Reptilian aspect again, as both these aspects are actually intertwined with each other and I could feel that wrapping up in each other when feeling both of them. Feels like these two energies have been behind my Gatekeeper aspect that I had been sharing about and she had been protecting my 3D Self all along, with so much care for her.

When I started feeling my 3D Self, I felt a lot of shame/self-hatred, a filtering of life through the lens of it not being good/safe, self-doubt, unworth and that there is no goodness in life, that life is difficult and everything has to be fought for and that she has always been alone, left alone, especially by the Divine. That way, being a huge aspect of my Lone Wolf that was reflected in corresponding life choices. With that filter applied, the goodness that had been in my life, was not able to be received and seen as such but rather made into something bad or rather not real. A very painful mechanism.

I have been feeling with her the legacy of my birth name, particularly the last name, that is carrying all these frequencies and she has worn them like a very thick coat. But I could also feel that all of those frequencies/layers are not really her, her true essence.

I was able to feel with her her own rich and deep connection to the Divine, and specifically to Mother Mary, who she and my entire soul seem to have a special connection with.

In her connection with Mary, she came through as clearly and deeply as never before, yet in such a real and grounded way and with authentic emotions. The experience I’m having now with Mary is much more personal and intimate. The connection I have had before with her, as Bey Magdalene, was a bit more airy/lofty, but my 3D Self feels like is the uplink to a real and grounded embodiment of Mother.

Through her struggle of not feeling the goodness in life and feeling almost in a quandary about her loyalty to that feeling, the very clear and visceral message/intuitive feeling came through that Mother IS an aspect of me as well and deserves to be felt just as much as it is necessary to feel the difficult things.

The reunion between her and Mother was very deep and teary, both weeping over having missed each other and finally having found each other again. My 3D Self was claimed as a Divine Daughter and Mary apologized to her too that it has been so difficult for her and that she wasn‘t able to feel her and connect with her, even though she has been right there all along, all my life.

The forgiveness frequencies between these two have been so powerful and have had a powerful impact on my spiritual and emotional well-being.

Her question and lament, why she had been plugged in so deeply into the matrix, has been answered inside of myself too. Along with the pain that, despite being a 3D Self, she never really felt that she was particularly good at it/equipped for it. It seems that she is needed as an ambassor to those in similar circumstances and if she would have been really good at navigating 3D life, she might not have awoken. Yet I could feel with her how this dimension/reality has always felt strange to her and that she didn’t really believe it herself.

A deep filtering of life through compartmentalization is falling away as a result as well as a need to ‘be by the book’ and a new flow and responding to every moment is coming online and ready to be embodied.

I can feel her letting in that reframe and new Divine/Soul purpose and how it is helping her heal her relationship to the matrix, her family and geographical origins that were both VERY dense as well as heal her relationship to the Divine.

I could feel so much care coming online in her that she has always had, yet had to numb because it was too painful to care and there hasn‘t been a container/energy to be able to digest all this care with up until now.

This care coming online now and my heart coming online through it in a much deeper way is such a gift that I‘m getting from and through her that I‘m so grateful for and that is so needed too as I have been wanting to feel my care for the world and humanity in these unprecedented times that we have never seen before. Yet a care that is grounded in and answered by the Divine inside of myself, to be able to digest and hold the pain too that comes with this care.

I can also feel an interesting relationship between my Inner Teenager and my 3D Self that is just starting to get a bit clearer. It feels like she has been a bit of a reluctant parent to her, yet also protecting her out of care for her. I have been wondering why I hadn‘t been more rebellious as a teenager, yet my 3D Self offered that it just was too dangerous to do that, with such a dark and abusive birth mother, whose energies and transmissions she had been taking in and absorbing over the years, shaping her, ‚messing her up‘ to quote her. So she felt it was much safer to comply, even if it was very begrudgingly.

I feel my 3D Self came in/was formed in my early teenage years as well, as a response to those very challenging and dense energies on the outside. That was also around the age my 3D Self had started to reach for alcohol to numb that darkness and abuse that came her way in order to numb it/cope with it. Yet only feeling that pain and answering it with Divine Love, will actually bring healing to it while anything else just covers it up.

Now that she has been felt and freed up more and her presence/existence deeply acknowledged and recognized as very much needed in order to complete me, miraculous shifts have been occurring inside of myself, as she is an important aspect of myself that had been anchored in 3D and thus was resisting to move into soul purpose with me and partake in the goodness frequencies in my life so far. Only through connecting with these aspects of us that feel they cannot partake in the goodness, the spirituality, the soul purpose expression is how we are actually able to do and embody that.

She is an ambassador in her own rights and we already started that journey in meditation space this morning when she and Mary organized an apparition in my hometown in Austria that is so dense, in so much pain and that doesn’t seem to have a lot of hope and Divine Inspiration. Casting those beautiful Divine frequencies over my hometown felt so healing and felt like it inspired something in its residents and at least planted a seed in them. A remembrance of their own Divinity.

Here is a meditation to connect with your 3D Self.

I’m so curious to go more into her relationship to my Reptilian as well as my Inner Teenager as I can feel it is a very rich ground. Some of that will be covered in today’s group call, I’m sure, that will be about the Inner Teenager. I can already feel more teenage sass coming online through connecting with my 3D Self and healing all the layers of pain that have been guarding her heart. I feel her off to the Galactic too, being a galactic ambassor and Galaxy trotter, with the Cosmos being her home.

Here is a guided meditation video to begin the connection to your Inner Teenager.

Raphael and Jelelle will be exploring the world of the Inner Teenager in our group call today at 5:00pm GMT/London/Lisbon & Noon EST. We will also offer a guided meditation to connect with your Inner Teenager, deepen the healing between you, opening up the bond that is just ‘waiting’ for you. More info to offer donation to attend on our website or on Facebook

Love,

Bey Magdalene

*** Bey Magdalene is a SoulFullHeart Apprentice Facilitator and Community Member. She offers sessions in German and English. For more information on community, videos, group calls, and 1:1 sessions with a SoulFullHeart Facilitator, visit soulfullheart.org.