As You Awaken, How Is Your Heart?

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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As you fly to the heavens, how is your heart?

You can fly to the heavens and BE with angels. You can BEcome more of the transcendent BEing that you ARE. You have been more of this substance of light and AIR then you have been anything else. You have been more of the stars, then of Gaia and a human body. You have been more soul than fleshy substance even if you feel that you have many lifetimes on Earth, what you might call ‘past lives’ although they are in the NOW…

Yet….As you go on your quest to the stars, how is your heart?

Your heart reflects your capacity to FEEL, to CARE, and to LOVE….the BEST of what makes you human. Your heart also reflects your emotional body and your pain body, your 3D body…..the place where the energies are stored of what you have experienced and felt as a human in this 3D reality and what still needs to be digested. You can BEcome more and more transcendent, yet, your emotional body has pain and congestion and it will anchor you to lower frequencies. Its unhealed places will draw situations to repeat out suffering patterns for you to see and feel. Your soul frequencies, your transcendent nature, can be used by aspects of you that don’t want to feel, that want to bypass heart healing, that want only light and no dark or shadow exploration.

As you awaken your soul, how is your heart?

As your emotional pain body heals, the anchorings lighten up, the aspects of you that guard, that hold the suffering frequencies, that are emotionally reactive in a charged way, that resist letting in love….these aspects transform into their higher frequencies, and eventually integrate into your sacred human/higher self embodiment. Your soul awakening can then ground into Gaia and into your healing and healthy human heart. And you heart vibrates at a higher frequency of health, it becomes more connected to the Christ Consciousness heart, the Mother Mary Consciousness heart, the cosmic heart.

As you become more of your cosmic BEing, how is your heart?

You are meant to take your heart WITH you on the journey of remembering yourself as a galactic BEing. It is your healing heart that brings in frequencies of vulnerability, compassion, reverence, humility, grace, surrender, relationality, connection, and healthy expression of femininity and masculinity. It is your healing heart that draws nourishing intimacies to you and relationships that water with love both your heart AND your soul. It is your healing heart that compels you to serve love as your highest purpose.

How is your heart? What does it REALLY want and need to experience and have felt in order to let in and BEcome MORE and MORE of the infinite love that you ARE?

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

From Scared to Sacred: Initiation of the Sacred Masculine

Published on by Raphael Awen4 Comments

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If there was ever a time that we needed a new template for the sacred masculine, that time is now. But where could that come from and what would that look like?

The masculine is always and forever the Sacred Masculine. Masculinity itself is out learning its way into knowing and feeling its essence; an attribute of divinity, out divining its way, through you and I.

Masculinity, like femininity is a polarity of a duality dance, but when either polarity loses its polarity, it loses its attractive energy, its power, its appeal. It is neutralized, neutered, emasculated. It moved from the sacred to the scared. Afraid. Limp. Milquetoast.

That’s where we are now….at the edge of scared trying to see a path that will take us back to Sacred.

I don’t think we need a return to some refurbished tribal hazing ritual over a sleep deprived weekend in a large auditorium gathering of men, with men dressed in fatigues yelling at you like a military sergeant. It’s quite pathetic what we came up with to address this deep hunger for a masculine template. Nature abhors a vacuum, so something will always show up as a filler until something more is ready to lead.

So where’s the arena then? Where’s the training gymnasium? Where do we go to get what we never got, or lost along the way?

True masculine energy is a sovereign energy. It is a king leading his personal kingdom. True king power originates from the heart, and if this heart is anything, it is autonomous. It does what it wants to, when it wants to, and it lives with the results, be they healthy or unhealthy. The queen is no less sovereign, no less individual, offering her portal to the Kings quest for no other reason than she wants to…IF, she wants to. Duty and obligation in this domain of heart, have long given way to desire and choice.

You are already doing this, you just can’t see it. Your life as you know it right now is the perfect gymnasium asking you to show up. So many things await your awakening? So many choices await your decree. The ground of this erection of the true King energy is none other than your life, arising from the sacral chakra…Your life as you know it right now is the true arena, the only training gymnasium…awaiting both your heart-on and your hard-on…your choice, your action, your lead, your pursuit of what YOU actually want!

And you as a man are inextricably linked to all men. Each man is a fractal of every other doing and riding life in the same gender expression vehicle. Your inhabitation of your own sacred masculinity is your greatest gift to all men…and it’s automatic. The ground you gain becomes your gift to all.

You don’t need another man to give this to you, because no man can actually give this to you, but you may find, like I have, that I need an arena of life, with other men to lead this in myself.

If these words juice you and call to you, I’d like to invite you to be a part the virtual group call for men that I am leading with Gabriel Heartman this coming Saturday.

Message me and I’ll give you the details…gotta run, I have a life to lead…. 🙂 and a queen to pursue…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Divine Feminine Energies Coming In To Balance Out Masculine Activations

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Solar geostorms, sun spot flare ups, photonic light waves beaming down through sun rays…..all this outside activity of stirring and churning, blaring and flaring. It is a fiery picture, isn’t it? A rather masculine energy. Many souls are tuning into this activation energy that ignites and wakes UP as it stimulates our light bodies, our emotional bodies, our mental bodies, our social bodies (new one for me to name, yet feels SO TRUE). All these bodies are like planets in our inner galaxy rotating around the orbit of our soul and the sun of our heart and the moon of our unconscious. All this stimulation can bring up symptoms and unease and detox in all of these bodies too as the 3D self and unaware ego resist, release, and ultimately let go at a rate and pace negotiated by the higher self.

In the physical body as it transitions to 5D light body UP can come the residues of what we have chosen and lived on a cellular level. The toxicities and energies we have taken in of eating BEings that have been killed; the frequencies of chemicals and foods made in laboratories; the exchanges during sexuality that weren’t based in love but something less; the habits and patterns that lead to less vital experience of body, INdigestion. And again, the 3D self can amplify these symptoms, make them worse, grab onto them, suffer or linger in them and the love of the growing higher self embodied YOU invites a moving on, holding space, yet, keep moving on into love.

The emotional body is releasing pain as the higher self YOU is activating love codes, PURE love messages, NEW messages of love to hold space for the movement of what has previously been subconsciously stored to move into the light of your consciousness. Suffering is a tone that maybe you (and parts of you) have gotten USED to, yet it is NOT the tone of Golden Earth, 5D frequency. It is not the tone of the higher self-embodied sacred human. It is not the tone that Gaia emotionally wants to feel anymore. BIG changes may be necessary to move suffering out of your life, to say ‘no more’ to suffering in the emotional body, in the mental body, and in the social body. BIG changes navigated with those PURE love messages coming in, creating a NEW reality where big changes are navigable at a rate and pace that you can BE with.

I feel a Divine Feminine ray, a softness, is beaming down TOO….to balance the masculine activation frequencies, stronger than I have felt Her before as more clearing has happened in the outer grids and in the collective and in souls to allow Her to come through more. It felt foggy to offer Her for all these years as it was bright inside of me and in my soul. She seemed to be shrouded in veils and mysteries in terms of outside perception of Her. Yet, more and more, is Her brightness coming through to be seen and felt and remembered.

The four energies of the Divine Feminine that I was awakened to in 2010 after remembering reiki energy still feel relevant to me as a way to connect with Her as you also embody them more and more AS YOU….this can be for both men and women. The four energies are the Mary ray of pink and blue energies offering purity, innocence, compassion and forgiveness. The Magdalene ray of ruby red offering sisterhood, queen mate, sacred sexuality (with partner or with self). The Kuan Yin PURE white ray offering nondual frequencies, beyond the mind, beyond the body, stillness, and BEing in the Now. The dark, black as night ray of the Dark Mother offering death as a form of rebirth, inviting embracement of the shadow, the necessary dark to go with the light.

It came up yesterday on FB that you can physically see these energies of the Divine Feminine (and Divine Masculine) in photographs when you place yourself in front of the sun and take pictures with a digital camera. What is in your auric field will then revealed to you. The orbs or rays of energy show up in different tones and colors and you can connect with them to feel what they are trying to tell you. Take a moment to feel, hear, and see what these energies are offering to you, what She is offering to you….write down the messages, speak the conversations out loud, bring Her energy into your meditation space. Ask to connect with one of the faces of the Divine Feminine I have mentioned above during meditation and one of them will show up for you…the one you are most needing and wanting in the moment. Or maybe MORE than one…

These energies of four seem to infuse and offer a balance of our femininity within (again, yes, men too). Each one of the ‘faces’ of the Divine Feminine is a reflection of our faces. Each one of their energies offering a mirror to our energies. Like the seasonal shifts, I have felt each one connected to a specific season too even as they are ALL of them. Mary has felt like autumn or fall; Kuan Yin like winter; Dark Mother like spring; and Magdalene like summer. This has worked for me in activating and connecting with them….use what works for you.

 

The Divine Feminine is HERE to balance out the masculine, is needed, and while in more polarity sense now in the mostly still 3D collective consciousness….She moves more toward subtlety as the frequencies raise up. Bring Her into your heart to remember and to bring love into the wounded from birth mother places in the 3D emotional body. Bring Her into your soul to remember and to bring love into the wounded soul frequencies from patriarchal dominance and other lifetime experiences of persecution, hiding soul gifts, suppression of the Divine Feminine. Bring Her in and experience Her reflection of the love that you ARE…

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

When Your Mate And Other Relationships Aren’t Awakening With You: Sacred Feminine Blog Series

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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She is expanding, growing, learning. Each drop of remembered kNOWledge waters the seed of her sacred human self and she so WANTS to grow now. Looking and searching for resonance to mirror her growing sense of soul, she needs the NEW reflection to transform into the NEW her that is waiting, spring loaded to become WHO she REALLY is.

She aches for MORE….more love, more light, more growth, more newness, more connection, more intimacy, more joy, more passion, more realness, more authenticity, more health. She feels this desire for MORE most of her moments and the ways and means to suppress it with distractions are not working as well as they used to. The part of her that wants to protect her from pain and keep her safe TRYS to suppress the wanting and the growing, yet THAT doesn’t seem to be working in the ways that it used to anymore.

Her friends, her family, her mate…they are watching this transformation as witnesses who, on a soul level ‘signed up’ to witness it. Maybe they are uneasy about it. Maybe they are resistant about it. Maybe they are inspired by it. Maybe they are coming along. Maybe they are not.

Oh, and her mate….if he is not feeling the same stirrings and call of healing the heart and awakening the soul, her heart aches to share this WITH him. Staying on her side in moments (let it arise in him through him) and then venturing over onto HIS side again (please come with me!) and back and forth. This is an uneasy dance with it can feel like no easy answers with neither partner doing anything wrong or BEing wrong.

As the dance plays out, she may reach a place where she can no longer ‘shrink’ to the old dynamic ground in the relationship to be with him. The place where they used to ‘meet’ each other has literally collapsed through her own growth and this has CHANGED the ground of their ‘usness’….the third energy created when two people come together in mateship. The usness has shifted from wherever it was when they agreed to BE together as it is based on energy and NOT an actual contract at all.

She may reach this place of not being able to allow the dynamic anymore in a dramatic sweep of realization that leads to immediate changes and transitions and completions. She may reach this in small increments and through negotiations with self and with him along the way. Through this negotiation maybe he WILL come along because it is his time and his desire to be and do so. OR he cannot and yet…..on she moves because now her growth cannot be contained without staying in suffering or in a lower frequency EVEN as love remains.

This is written for and inspired by women I have connected with through SoulFullHeart recently in this situation, finding (and ultimately choosing on the soul level) themselves HERE….in this place of awakening while their mate doesn’t seem to be coming along with them. I feel how this situation can be reversed too, with the man awakening and the woman choosing to remain in the same consciousness frequency….yet it feels to me that most often it happens in this way as yin has tended to lead in these grounds.

Drawing this situation is a reflection of the woman to look into herself. It is an invitation to feel how her mate’s (and those in other relationships) lack of resonance reflects a shadow aspect of herself that is ALSO not in resonance with her growth, a part of her that may resist awakening, or is very afraid of it. If she is deciding to stay within the relationship even without the deeper soul resonance and even perhaps outward resistance and maybe even abusive frequencies, then there IS a part(s) of her that feels the same way for which his lack of resonance represents. Without access to these parts of herself, she will make it about the outside, about him, about others RATHER than about herself for which they are just a reflection. Focusing on the outside in this way leads to disempowerment feelings and more sense of suffering and impotence.

She is not a victim but rather willing participant in this dance until she no longer chooses to be. Going within to find the parts of her that are represented here is the way to access her inner power, to feel possible next steps and choices, to navigate from HER side.

Living within a relationship with mutual resonance of body, heart, and soul with Raphael for close to nine years has filled my woman’s heart with loved UPness, compassion and I can template a NEW way for women to experience themselves within a sacred union ground. And a new way to relate to themselves for which ALL aspects of themselves (even those in shadow) are held and explored with a loving curiosity and tenderness WITH internal boundary setting also happening when it is needed.

There is a NEW way of 5D relationship in which their mate is inspiring them to grow, supporting ALL of their movements which support their soul, and which love becomes more and more pure between the two partners as they dedicate themselves to their inner healing and soul awakening. Often what people feel is ‘love’ in romantic relationship is actually a sticky, codependent frequency of need from one part of them to another part in their mate (example, inner child in the woman hooked up with the patriarch in the man, the matriarch in the woman hooked up with the inner child in the man, inner punishers in both hooked up together.)

It is a complicated dynamic and yet love will steer through it if there is willingness to feel, to heal, to grow, and to be REAL with what the emotional reality actual IS and the degree of suffering over suffering exists from inside. No more suffering becomes the motivation for change until love leads the way more and more with suffering becoming a rarer occurrence. It IS possible to experience this PURE love ground in relationships to the degree it is happening from within, from inside, from one aspect to another.

If you are a woman in this situation, you may need someone to hold space for this process of going within, accessing these aspects of yourself, and I would be honored to serve love with you in this process as it was my own in the past. Go here to read more about that: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/jelellesessions. I know that Raphael Awen would be honored to serve the male side of the relationship (or if the situation is reversed.):

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Messages from the Sun Of Warmth, Changes, Light, And Love

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment
By Jelelle Awen
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I lay down at the sun’s altar of sand and sea, receiving its gifts of coded energies and language in the light. I feel its warmth beaming down on me in varying degrees with subtle shifts in heat, intensity, and frequency from day to day. I take in the messages through my hungry skin, through my purifying pineal gland, through the stones I place near me, through my crystallizing and transforming cells, through my opening and healing heart, through my expanding and waking UP soul. I feel much gratitude to the sun (and the cosmic sun too) for what it GIVES and GIVES of life, of light, and of love.
This is what I hear when I listen and receive as I lay in the sun and I wanted to share with those of you on this fast track of ascension and awakening for which the SUN seems to be a primary source of collective support, Universal activation, and galactic connection to create changes both inside and outside….
The sun’s warmth says to us, “Trust that life is GOOD. Trust that life is based in LOVE. Trust that life is WARM. Trust that life will return to warmth, goodness, and love even when it FEELS (and may need to be) temporarily cold or hard. Trust that THIS warmth is the essence of YOUR heart and soul too.”
The sun’s catalytic energy says to us, “You can GROW. And you don’t HAVE to suffer anymore. Feel ANY aspect of your life that is leading to suffering. Feel the deeper reasons WHY. Feel the power that you have to change whatever it is from INSIDE of you. To Feel and heal. To be with the aspect of you that is attached, that is sacred, that is settling, that is suffering. BE with this inside and the OUTSIDE will change. You will BECOME this change as more and more SELF love overflows moving you from suffering and into love.”
The sun’s NOW presence says to us, “NOW is the TIME. NOW is the time to change the INNER to experience the GOLDEN EARTH, 5D REALITY, that you most WANT and desire. It IS now. Your inner grids are preparing to support this new experience of reality. Your DNA is arising to recode you to this new frequency. You inner matrix is dropping so you can see more clearly your bigness. Your inner veil is lifting so you can remember your soul legacy and connect with your other lifetimes. NOW you can BE all of this.”
The sun’s light says to us, “You are meant to SHINE. You are meant to TURN ON your beacon. You can turn it from inside of yourself with self love that then SHINES it out to others. You become like a light house for yourself and others, your beaming heart helping to navigate the rocky waters and the sudden storms. You become a way shower, shining the light in the darkness for yourself and others to find your way back again to the light.”
The sun’s love says to us, “PURE Love is the ONLY constant. You can return to it over and over. You can lay in it, soak it in, feel it FILL you up again. You can use it to raise your frequency to a higher rate and pitch and tone. You can experience it with your guides, which you BEcome more and more over time. You can experience PURE love more and more in relationship as you draw those that reflect this to you AS you. You can experience the PURE love that you ARE and have ALWAYS been…..infinite and constant as I am.”
Photo is of the SUN yesterday here in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico….
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming A 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Celebrating Eight Years Of Sacred Union Experience

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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Eight years ago, I joined my intention to his….in the moment and for all moments that followed that would be in mutual desire and resonance. On some level, it all felt like a whirlwind….started dating in July and married by March (after knowing each other for a couple of years) having already moved through two major geography changes finally JUST settling in Canada when we married. And, the collapse of our whole social and spiritual world by leaving (being asked to leave, told to leave or not be together because we were deemed to ‘codependent’ although only together three weeks!) the spiritual group we had both been part of for three and four years.

Our courtship was the highest highs of desire moving through, my body calibrating to what it feels like to REALLY be wanted by a man and my heart letting in what it feels like to REALLY be cherised by a man. AS I was also going through a dark night of letting go of ALL the souls I had been close to for more than five years in the group. Ups and downs, bittersweet, and yet, always was he there for me, over and over, in complete devotion and utter eagerness to be together.

Those ups and downs have settled over the years as we found our way together through many changes and transitions yet, always, arising our way through it in union. We took our wedding rings off last year, feeling like it had been other parts of us (going by our birth names Wayne and Jillian) who had exchanged those rings even as the core of us was there. We felt so different after years of parts work, being in the crucible of sacred union together that had burnt away so many layers, letting go of incomes and geographies and just about everything there was to let go of other than each other.

We even felt that the significance of this day was a memory from the past and we were arising in the NOW together. Yet, I do feel in my heart a tenderness for this day, this anniversary, and where we were at that time and who we have been through the years and who we are arising into now as Raphael and Jelelle.

Our usness keeps expanding as we do and keeps vibrating at a higher frequency at all levels and in all areas – sexually, emotionally, spiritually. We are more and more connecting other lifetimes together (energizing NOW) such as in Atlantis (a couple of those) and also our star BEing aspects. Very little conflict between us, fewer words needed, more soul connection…

I feel we are counterpart souls to each other, which I prefer to the twin flame paradigm. I will be writing more about this in the future as it digests and arises for me and as I experience it deepen with Raphael. I can feel how our relationship could feel like a fantasy or idealized, yet it is not, it IS very real, and we have had to go through the dark together to illuminate the light and the love yet that was always there. We have had to commit to awakening and to our own personal process OVER everything else, including the relationship. The goodness overflow in a relationship can only deepen and grow if the partners are committed to their OWN growth first.

Being my counterpart, Raphael is like me yet NOT me and it is the beautiful blend of masculine and feminine that offers SUCH growth and mirror for our own inner union.

So I celebrate a love today that I am SO BLESSED to experience and have been so blessed to experience for these 8.5 years…..thank you to Raphael Awen my king, my BEloved, my cocreator, my love for sharing this life of serving love together.

Photo was taken on our wedding day eight years ago in a small studio apartment in West Vancouver….Ah newlyweds, although we are STILL like this!

By Raphael Awen

3 countries, 5 cities, a couple towns and and year and a half on an off grid ranch. Those are are bit of the outward journey of my 8 year marriage with Jelelle Awen. And it hasn’t stopped by any means…

Today is our 8 year anniversary! Happy Anniversary Beloved.

We didn’t set out to choose change for change sake, but rather to choose love and showing up for the rigours of relationship. At the outset, we knew the idea of hiding in any kind of ‘long distance relationship’ was not a question for us and that meant choosing between 2 countries, 2 career paths, etc. from the beginning. The epic choices to continually choose deepening love and to let go of the barriers to love continued, and continue to unfold right in this moment.

The place for settling and the need for some predictability have been met internally, rather than externally. Through finding, feeling and healing parts of ourselves who hold our resistance to love, we both have found a way, individually to live inside of a settled heart of love for ourselves, that only then are able to transact freely and deeply with each other. Quite surprisingly, this has made the external changes and choices arise quite naturally and navigably (if that’s a word). Even with me getting banned from the US at the border in 2009 and having to change our plans on a dime was met with a grace and a way through. We didn’t ‘have to’ leave country and career behind again in 2014, but the awareness was that another epic choice was right for us individually and as a couple. Our soul purpose deepening individually and our greatest adventure as a couple we knew lay in that choice. It was up to us. We could take it or leave it. We took it, and there hasn’t’ been a single regret.

We also knew from the outset and still know that we couldn’t make any kind of commitment to one another to ‘be there for each other no matter what.’ We couldn’t guarantee that then for each other and we don’t attempt that now. Our commitment to each other is predicated on our commitment to ourselves first.

I honour and celebrate this magical unfolding this day and every day as much as I am able. And, truth be told, and truth be tolled, it’s a tall order, and one I’m very glad to be tasked with…🙂

Happy Anniversary Beloved…

 

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming The NEW 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

A Heart-On For Sacred Romance

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

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Okay. So that was a little provocative.  That´s alright.  It was meant to be.  I feel like there is something in the masculine that wants to push some boundaries.  Get a little rise…sort of speak.  So some inner teenager gets to come out and play a little bit.  That is all part of the fun of self-discovery and exploration.  On the road to the Men´s group call on Saturday I felt compelled to feel into some writing about the masculine and was guided to just write about what is in my space as a man in the moment.  

It is a time of stoking the fire of romance.  Feeling what that really means as a man.  So much is written from a female’s perspective about romance and the desire to be in deep union.  For me, it is a new way of wanting to relate to relationship and union.  In my past I can feel how there were many unfelt and unhealed energies in my emotional body that made it difficult for me to be vulnerable.  To get into the messy of what was real.  Just wanting to be in a comfort place even if it really wasn´t comfortable.  Those days are no longer as I have been on a healing path for over 5 years now and feel way more Me here than I ever have.  A self-love that is wanting to overflow to another.

I feel that deep down all men want this too.  As vibrations are raising and Love showering down on us every moment, we can´t help but to feel this draw and desire.  To leave the old conditioning and patterns behind.  There is a need in the core of our soul to want to grow and expand.  It can happen at great depth on one´s own, but there is nothing like romance to turn on the afterburners and propel us into the reflection of some of our hidden places.  Now, don´t get me wrong.  I feel resistance from a part of me around that, but it is met with more desire to be vulnerable to that and let it work itself out in relationship.  Scars and all.  

There is an experience of life and ourselves as men that we just cannot have unless we are in a romance.  I really believe there is a phase we all find ourselves in when we have been hurt and just need the solo time.  But I don´t feel we were meant to be that way for long, unless the soul signed up for it.  I still feel in our human heart we want to feel transactable love with each other on a ground that is ever expanding and never stagnant.  The resistance to it comes from a protective part of us that has a very good reason for feeling the way it does.

Romantic love turns your world upside down. We just know that on some level and that is scary.  I have been beautifully upended twice in my life that found me making changes and feeling things a part of me never thought I would.  In the words of Kalayna Colibri, it ¨rearranges your furniture¨…and then moves your house to a different country altogether.  Your inner house gets lit up and some of the things you didn´t know were there or were hiding become highlighted.

In SoulFullHeart we see ourselves working our vertical self, the me to me, first.  Then there is the transactable horizontal ground between a man and a woman that we call the Usness.  This is the juicy place of all sorts of magic, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually.  This is the Merkabah that is created between two hearts and souls that can traverse galaxies and back again.  The kind of after-glow that can leave you in a fuzz for days.

I long for this kind of relationship.  I know that it is not all honeymoon but a concerted desire to be with all that comes up personally and in response to another.  It is an alchemical ground that offers so much in way of a true aliveness of being.  I feel there are other men that long for the same and the road there is through your own heart.  Though this was written from a single man´s perspective I feel those that are in current relationships can feel this in their own dynamic with their beloveds. What is it that we truly desire in our hearts and in romance with another?  

To my Queen, wherever you may find yourself, this was dedicated to you.   

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

An Inner Fireplace, Going Within, BEing with Self

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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A day spent yesterday of being with me, relaxing, feeling mellow, being more inward than outward, moving some lower frequency/subtle toxicities through…not my usual JOY and high energy frequencies yet these are good days too actually! A ‘recharge’ of the love batteries from going inside which leads to offering more in overflow to others, especially for our group call today and right NOW in this moment of shared creativity.

There are times where self space holding is not specific or something big to process, yet just a sense and commitment and desire of BEing with self. A true desire to BE with self, not an ‘obligation’ or ‘should’, but because there is NO ONE you would rather be with than yourself. Making space for self and not ‘giving out’ too much. Feels like an incubator space created for one that we can return to over and over again!

I was an only child growing up and also a ‘latch key’ kid and my birth parents didn’t get home often until late. So, I had glorious hours to myself after school and these were my moments to BE with self, to play pretend, to dance, to sing, etc. Sometimes I played with friends or hung out with others, but mostly I cherished this time to myself as it was for and with ME and it helped me digest the intensities of the day and from the dynamics of my birth family. In this way, I believe I chose to be an only child in order to build up this container of sense of gloriousness about self time. I rarely have experienced being lonely this life because of the sense of a rich inner world that has bubbled over into my life.

In 3D, everything is outside. There isn’t an internal incubator because everything vibrates from outside of self. There is no ‘there there’ inside and the inside is like an empty chamber yet with ping pong emotional reactions clashing around (largely unconscious) and soul karmic frequencies simmering and bubbling (again, largely unconscious). There isn’t a strong self love and awareness fireplace to hold the fires that come up and so ALL of what comes up in self gets burned in the process. There is smoldering fires and ash everywhere inside of the 3D self.

The outward focus then is seeking for things to entertain constantly, to divert constantly, to control constantly, to numb constantly in the 3D self as conditioned by a 3D world. It is a constant search by the 3D self for the NEXT activity, thing, person…that will maybe even provide ALL of these aspects of entertainment, control, diversion, and numbness. So much of 3D cultural expression is based on this unground NEED and, really, obsession with outside distraction.

A big aspect of 4D awakening is the awakening to SELF and the glorious pleasure of creating and experiencing a growing self fireplace and incubator. And less and less NEED for outside distraction, numbing, and diversion. You are more just content with what is inside and going inside through meditation becomes the entertainment ground with vast rich terrains opening up inside of you. Not used for distraction though but actually in order to feel, in order to heal, in order to grow, in order to INtegrate the soul.

The 4D self has ups and downs, deaths and rebirths, discoveries and integrations, yet it is held in a CONSCIOUS and AWARE context of growth and awakening. THIS is a big difference from the 3D unconscious letting life just happen and being reactive consciousness that draws drama after drama to be victim to. The 4D self more and more feels how everything that you experience OUTSIDE of you is a reflection from INSIDE of you.

In this growing lived-in truth is empowerment, is the completion of feeling like a victim and life is happening to YOU. This is the growing sense of trust and surrender to your connection with All That Is and Divine Source. This is the transition into the frequencies of unity-yet-individual consciousness that is 5D and beyond where the self is revealed through the peeling and burning away with self love ALL the layers of persona, self image, and 3D conditioning to REVEAL and REMEMBER the soul that is a fractal from Divine Source in human expression as Infinite Love….

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming The NEW 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Why Would Anyone Want To Be A Legend In Someone Else’s Mind?

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

legend1

By Raphael Awen

This is day 2 of my new introduction to my soon-to-be re-released book ‘90 Days With Yeshua’ that I originally wrote in 2013. This introduction is written in the same easy dialogue fashion of our conversations from the book. I felt to share these new intro pieces here as I go. Enjoy…

Raphael: Good Morning Yeshua.

Yeshua: Good Morning Raphael.

R: I’m just feeling into where we might go together today…

Y: We don’t actually have to go anywhere…where we are is just fine if we can let that in.

R: I still find myself reaching for some dynamic outside of the moment somehow, like I’d like to enter a higher frequency awareness and feeling space than the one I’m consciously in at the moment.

Y: I so get that. It’s why people pray or meditate or read books, or watch movies, or drink a beer…to overlay a different feeling reality over the moment.

R: In one way, Yeshua, and a pretty big way at that, I find that sums up a whole lot of my relationship to life, even to this day. Even as I’m talking to you right now, I’m invested in it for some kind of a mood shift, and I’ll bet the people reading this would have to admit that the reason they are reading it is seeking some exit from something and entrance into something else to some degree.

Y: Here’s the deal though, Raphael. Being in a dualistic world, where one thing is always preferred over another is an art that leads you back to the moment if you follow it fully. Even when one settles for an escape instead of something deeply satisfying, that experience is part of their learning. The deeper appetite is unfulfilled, even though it may be dulled in the moment, or rather, dulled from the moment.

R: So it’s a pretty big pretzel though, because I often find myself in want of some kind of a mood shift, or experience shift. Like I said, that energy is present even in this moment of seeking deeper connection with you…

Y: Believe me, I hear you. What I want to convey to you in feeling this acutely with you, and I love how your heart and mind works, to evoke these inquiries….is to feel with you how the true portal to that mood shift as you call it, is actually an invitation into the moment, into the now, outside of time. You have this portal through your heart available in the now.

R: So the seeking of this mood shift as we’re calling it isn’t a negative thing in and of itself, and by negative, I mean a frequency lowering thing, but, it’s more about what source I turn to to get my needs met, choosing to go external vs. Internal…I get that part…

Y: I know you do…

R: The part I’d really like to get on with is entering that portal into the now and staying there more…
Y: Try this on for size…the feeling that you already do exist in the now….., we talk about entering the now as if you are not there already, but on a deeper level, you ARE the now.

R: ‘I am the now’….don’t know Yeshua if I’ve ever heard that anywhere else before?

Y: Cool huh….we’ve definitely got it going on friend…

R: We are legendary, in the truest sense, legends in our own minds….

Y: Why would anyone want to be a legend in anyone else’s mind!

R: Haven’t heard that one before either!

Y: Try BEing the now, recognizing that you are the now, and then the moralizing and shoulding about changing your mood can fall away as a relic of the past, and you get to enjoy and live in your native frequency.

R: THAT sounds so cool…and I notice it still offers us a focus, a choice point, even an effort point, but in a very different way, would you say?

Y: It’s the perfect marriage of doing and being actually. All the effort needed flows abundantly and freely from being, which turns the old definition of work on its head. There is choice, focus and effort still required, but in this higher dimension, there’s no shortage of that, and it flows from deep desire and joy. Work was never intended to be drudgery, but rather passion and fulfillment, that leads to more, and more.

R: And I like how it doesn’t emasculate me somehow…My power and choice is still very much a part of this, my individuality too…

Y: So many spiritualities here to this day are about trying to find some work around to this very point you bring up…the essential requirement of life itself of personal power and choice. No one is here doing life that isn’t on the deepest level seeking to come to terms with the God-being they actually are….seeking to learn how to create entire new worlds that they can feel as real….that no one can take away from them….

R: Wow, Yeshua, how do you wrap this up for today?

Y: I think I just did…all that’s left is choosing to BE, and letting BEing lead the doing…and it’s okay if that takes even a lifetime to learn, it’s worth it all, and besides, what could be funner?

R: Thank you Yeshua.

Y: You’re welcome Raphael.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.

Five Reasons Why It Is Challenging To Set Healthy boundaries

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment
By Jelelle Awen
boundarysetting

The process of boundary setting and perhaps taking space in relationship or breaks is an important one related to our ascension process and arisement of our 5D self as every relationship we are in is an energy exchange. It is a key aspect of growing and arising into our soul self as every energy we engage with is a reflection of us. This process of sorting through relationships and setting and BEing boundaries is an aspect of the transition and awakening into your 4D self.

I feel setting a healthy boundary with someone in a relationship as being about the sense that we can no longer be in relationship with them or we need space from the relationship because it isn’t healthy or self loving for us to remain or because we just don’t have the reSOULance value ground to BE in relationship any longer (even as love remains). A ‘porous’ boundary would be one that is open to being changed if the person changes or if the ground of the relationship becomes healthier through inner healing work, soul awakenings, or shifts and choices that happen.

Every boundary has a door, just as every fence has a gate. Healthy boundary setting can be done with an open heart, with love and compassion for both the person and ourselves, and before the relationship reaches high levels of toxicity or codependency that is harmful to both sides. This is challenging in our culture, however, and most people struggle a lot with this and how to BE with it.

Why is it so challenging to set boundaries with people in relationships, even when the level of abuse and toxicity is obvious to us? There are many possible answers to this question that could be applied in a universal way even as every individual situation is different.

1) One of the reasons it is so challenging to set and BE in healthy boundaries is because most of us received no modeling on how to do or be this with our caregivers AND we weren’t ‘allowed’ to set any boundaries with our families prior to adulthood.

We are such sponges, absorbing all the energies and emotional tones of our families as we grow up. By the time we are teenagers, we are so filled up with these tones and energies that part of us begins to rebel against what we had no choice in absorbing, which is a form of boundary setting. Some of us continue this rebellion until adulthood and eventually our boundary setting with family may end up being a complete push away or break from them for a phase of time or for life. Most of us are not invited to set boundaries with our family members and we wouldn’t anyway because of our food and shelter needs that they provide.

3D conditioning is that we are required to deal with whatever we are given or however we are treated without advocating or defending ourselves and without the opportunity to say, ‘No’. So, we learn how to live with what we inherited and the cost to the expression of our authentic self and the development of the ability to set boundaries out of self love is hugely impacted. Basically, we literally have ‘no idea’ how to set healthy boundaries because we didn’t ‘see’ and ‘learn’ how to do it from our families.

2) This leads into the second reason, which is that we don’t have enough self love or core self worth to lead this navigation of boundary setting. In SoulFullHeart work, core self worth is something that emerges after much processing with the parts of us who don’t find us worthy and yet are tasked with protecting and defending us, such as our inner punisher-critic, our controller-protector, our inner matriarch-patriarch, etc. These parts of us have developed as internal voices and energies inside of us because of the energies and tones we took in from our caregivers.

It is actually an aspect of our self-defense structure to develop these parts of us that keep the messages running that we ‘are not worthy of love’ or ‘are unlovable’ or ‘are crazy’ or whatever the message is. These parts are actually trying to keep us safe by knocking us down first before someone else does (which is what happened in childhood) or before we get too ‘big’ and do unsafe things. I know this sounds strange, but over eleven years of working with people in subpersonality work, I have seen this over and over again. And, of course, I have felt this in myself. Without an innate sense of core self worth and self love, it is very difficult to say ‘no’ to unhealthy frequencies. Saying ‘no’ means that we are saying ‘yes’ to what nourishes us and that we feel that we are worth it.

3) Boundary setting can be challenging because we don’t know which ones to set and which part of us is doing it. Sometimes it can feel like we are setting healthy boundaries because part of us has said ‘no’ to something or a relationship and is shutting it out, but it actually IS necessary for us to go into it or it could lead to our next growth place to go into it. Parts of us (the protector-controller again primarily) actually like saying ‘no!’ but it can be misdirected and misplaced. This part of us can say ‘no’ to people who are trying to help us by no longer enabling us or by bringing us a tough truth that we don’t want to see. Or this part of us can say, ‘no’ to changes that we need to make or tough conversations that we need to have that could bring conflict and more changes. So, this can be a confusing ground to navigate and asking, “Which part of me wants this boundary and why?” is a very important one.

4) Boundary setting can make us look ‘bad’ or ‘not nice.’ For the parts of us that care about our self-image or how others perceive us, it can be very uncomfortable if we are judged by the person (or others) that we are setting the boundary with as mean or not nice. We are so conditioned in our culture around ‘being nice’ and that it is a ‘good thing’…..even as most relationships, if you go deeper, have a layer of toxicity and falseness in them that has nothing to do with being ‘nice’. Many people would rather preserve the self image of being nice even with someone who is NOT nice with them and actually treats them badly. This behavior pattern has usually been strongly modeled by one of our parents or both of them.

5) It’s challenging and nearly impossible to set boundaries with others if we haven’t set them with parts of ourselves. This is a crucial aspect of parts process work: learning when to set a boundary with a part of us when we identify and feel that we don’t want their behavior to continue because it is isn’t self loving. We literally have to set a boundary with them as the 5D arising Higher Self sometimes in order to be ‘bigger’ than the part of us. For example, we feel love for the inner punisher even as we set a boundary with this part of us to stop beating us down with self judgments. Or we have to say ‘no’ to certain things which parts of us use to keep us numb to our deeper feelings. Our growing 4D and 5D self learns to do this in a loving way that is both strong and open. When parts of us feel this energy of healthy boundary setting arise in us, they lean into it. They have been waiting for it our whole lives and parts of us become relieved because finally an ‘adult’ is home to say what is nourishing and healthy and what is not.

Boundary setting transforms relationships, either by closing them down for a period of time or by opening them up to something new. In my experience, both sides benefit from healthy and porous boundary setting, even if one side is leading it (which is usually the case.) Boundary setting doesn’t have to be a ‘one time’ thing in relationships with a dramatic declaration and big fallout, although that is often what happens if it hasn’t been done consistently.

In healthy and authentic relationships, boundary setting is something that is being talked about and negotiated, something that just happens organically and, in an intimate relationship, sometimes several times a day. And, it is porous…meaning it shifts and changes based on the current conditions. It can be porous if both people are working on healing their hearts through subpersonality work and if they are dedicated and committed to serving the LOVE in the relationship. And it feels like in relationships that are mostly based in 5D consciousness frequencies, boundary setting is not even necessary as the Oneness connection and soul ground flows between the relationships in most moments.

Letting go of what doesn’t nourish us in relationships (or in ANY area of our lives), allows us to let in what really DOES….it makes space for more LOVE to arise inside of us and in our lives.

 

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Becoming The NEW 5D Sacred Human. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.