The Gift Of Feeling Pain &Trauma

By Deva Yasmin

There are so many ways I can see, of how parts of me can push beyond feeling pain in order to attain or achieve certain experiences. The spiritual search for a long time was a search for a place free of pain for me, the attainment of bliss states and higher consciousness feeling so much more superior and desirable, than acknowledging the pain and suffering parts of me were experiencing. I still see it playing out for parts of me, especially as we taste more of the bliss, joy and contentment that is arising, they desire to stay there, but as Embodied Divine Humans, that is not our purpose to remain there it feels like.

The thing is these states are actually arising, from me being willing to acknowledge, feel and listen to the pain and trauma my parts have experienced, not from any pushing away of, or striving towards, a particular state, this actually blocks bliss. It feels like the reason I can experience these more joyful feelings is because, as I deeply know the experience of the opposite, I can appreciate the true simplicity of what joy truly is. This is a constant circling between the both for me and my parts, there is no end place and yet there is a place of experiencing more and more goodness coming in, only as I am willing to let go of what is not loving or bringing feeling of goodness.

This is the cost it feels like, to experience the fullness of who we are, and what this life and universe has to offer us as Divine Humans. Through feeling the pain and trauma, I am liberating parts of me from the prisons and Matrices they have learnt to call home, but to leave the only home they have known is painful too. To leave behind what they felt was nurturing, loving and resonant for so long, to go towards the more that I feel is available, brings up so much for them to digest. To realize how much of what they felt was Love, has actually been toxic and kept them inside the prison walls, is painful, tender, vulnerable and raw.

There is a time, and a self loving paced, organic-ness to being ready to soberly look into the reality of the life that was known for so long. As parts are felt and validated in what they have experienced; first by others in sessions, which then templates how we can valid ourselves, more space opens inside of us. As I am deepen in this process, I experience how this space becomes available for higher dimensional aspects of myself, as well as Divine beings to come in and support my continued exploration with my parts.

The ones we have been longing for, the parts of us who have the higher wisdom we have been seeking for, and the Beings of Love who we have been calling for, for so long, forgetting how close they have always been, come in to us. It feels like our commitment to keep showing up for ourselves, is a beacon, as we become more attuned to feeling, we become more sensitive to the higher frequencies all around us. This for me is so much more embodied, which brings a visceral confirmation of what is real and the Love that is always here.

When I have pushed to attain a certain state, the higher frequencies can feel ‘floaty’ or ‘wishy-washy’, they cannot ground and actually be beneficial in my everyday life. My parts cannot let it deeply in, in the ways that is needed for them to feel, heal and integrate their past experiences. They cannot rest within me if they cannot FEEL, the stable presence of the safety these higher frequencies and Divine Beings are offering them, especially I feel Divine Mother. She feels so significant to my parts process right now, as I digest with parts of me who have never felt held or nurtured.

It feels like if we keep pushing beyond pain as it is arising, not being sensitive to the subtle contractions, we keep ourselves in the prison of feeling alone and in pain, we keep ourselves in the suffering loops. As I write this, I feel how I am learning to be really present to the subtleties of all this, this no longer has to be a process of digging and trying to unearth pain or trauma, the pain arises organically in response to just BEing in life, being available to the healing life is offering us in every moment. As there is more and more goodness arising, it can be quite the process as well to let that in, I feel many of us who have been on this journey for a while will resonate with the striving and pushing for healing, or the over focusing on what is wrong, it can feel quite addictive to parts who are so used to the frequencies of abuse and trauma, to want to stay there it feels like.

I feel I am entering into more of a space of flow with the process, and an availability for what is real in the moment, letting life and what is in my heart lead my process. This feels to me what it means to be embodied. Parts of me no longer want to get out of the body to find home, or out of feeling pain, because they are realizing more and more from experience, that their true home, their higher frequency origins and their Divine nature activates and arises from within, as they feel and clear the pain and trauma they have held onto for so long, because that is what has felt like home.

The empty space that is opening up within me and within my life, through my willingness to feel pain and no longer hold onto places, people & patterns in my life that cause more pain, can feel both completely full of potential and completely void. So many questions, and so much time to explore them, so much to digest, and so much clarity to be birthed in me too, A space of feeling, healing and becoming.

I find myself in the moment honoring a very tender process with my younger parts as they let go of relationships that have been abusive and toxic, non of this is easy, but it is real and honest, and that is what my Soul longs for. This is what my woman’s heart longs for, and as my parts learn to trust me, and they experience the beauty and goodness living life lead from a tender, vulnerable, open heart brings, feeling pain becomes SO worth it and SO valuable, as it becomes the Inner Compass guiding us home, always, to LOVE.

Much Love,

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

Consciously Becoming A ‘Love Ambassador’

by Kalayna Solais

To become your ‘Love Ambassador self’ is more than just an intention, though that is a beautiful seed to start off with. It’s a real invitation to embody compassion and empathy. It’s deeper than diplomacy. It’s deeper than simply claiming that you love everything and everyone. It’s a true and deep staircase into the depths of shadow and the heights of Divine love.

To become an ‘ambassador’ is to see and feel your next steps become clearer for this embodiment picture… to be willing to see, feel, experience, and come to know your own shadow so that you can support others in their own explorations. To this same depth, the steps of being able to go higher, to see the bigger, meta-picture of what’s REALLY going on and the Divine glue that’s holding it all together, are just as alive and deeply necessary.

You become through all of this a link, a connection, a bridge between aspects of your own soul, parts of you, parts and aspects of others around you and especially those who come to you for space holding, feeling your experiences and your embodied capacity for compassion.

This is a Divinely appointed leadership that cannot be trained or certified, only lived into and loved with all your heart and soul as you awaken to the desire to become this, as you feel how much you want to move every aspect and part of you beyond polarity and heal any need inside to still experience that as your primary reality. You’re a work in progress, always, and there’s always more to explore, but it’s your integrity in doing this that makes you a Love Ambassador… not perfection.

As we continue to walk out these challenging times on all dimensions and depths of consciousness, the call to become this ‘Love Ambassador self’ is undeniable and also becoming more and more necessary to answer! I myself find the daily challenge of feeling reactions and learning what I need personally in order to find this deeper embodiment to be an enlivening but also sobering process. I feel clarity come in about next steps and what there is to feel through as well as pictures, images, energetic impressions of who I most want to become from the inside, out. I imagine this is similar for everyone on this planet whose soul is choosing to awaken at this time!

We’re in the middle of becoming a planet full of Love Ambassadors, each with our own signature coming straight from our Divinely beautiful and healing souls… even through the messiness of the ongoing process.

Much love,
Kalayna ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

3D/4D Freedom Starts From Within

For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I feel free. Free from my FUSIONS to fear, doubt, and lack. But I am not free FROM feeling fear, doubt, and lack. Those to me are part of my human journey and integration. In states of fusion, I have become the energy of those things wholesale. No way to see through or around the density of the frequency. However, the process of feeling these emotions and energies as PARTS of me created space and distance. 

This distance has been short lived at times. Well, to be honest, many times. Yet, with each separation something continued to seed inside. Each one opened doorways to deeper and deeper programs, addictions, conditions, and traumas. It has felt like a video game at times where you go to more and more challenging levels to get to the doorway to the next one! 

Recently, I entered a Reptilian level. This one has proved, for me, to be a game-changer. This visceral and emotive awareness of my 4D Reptilian Self, has helped to feel a dismantling of something very core in me. This constant foreboding feeling that life is not going to go my ‘way’. A feeling that, no matter what good was in my life, it was not going to last or I was not worthy of it. This, I am realizing, has all been a part of the transmission. 

I have known this in my mind, yet in my heart and soul it continued to linger. Like a phantom mechanism. When held in ‘captivity’ for so long, it is hard to reintegrate and immerse back into the fold of the way it used to be. The captive may even find comfort in the way things were as it was known and predictable. This is what I am realizing about my past processes. 

But now, I am seeing and feeling something different. I am sitting with my Reptilian self outside the prison walls just witnessing. Not rushing into any definitive conclusions other than just what it FEELS like. Breathing in the air of freedom for what feels like an eternity for both of us. While we are not free to just do what we want on the outside, to feel this freedom within feels like the precursor to what is ready to manifest on the outside. 

The lesson for me…free yourself from within. The key is there. You just have to feel your way through the dark sometimes. 

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Unplugging From The 4D Matrix Group Call Today!

by Jelelle Awen

The 3D/4D Matrix is collapsing. The prison doors have been unlocked and are now OPEN. We truly are now FREE!! Still time to join us today live at 10:00am PDT during our weekly group call over Zoom for an important piece of teaching and next level/cutting edge working on the Ascension journey.
I don’t know of anyone else teaching this process in this way or with this ambassador of love energy around it. We will be sharing about the collapsing of the 3D/4D Matrix that is going on with this Coronavirus event, the Reptilian self entwinement at the 4D level and need for mutual liberation, and the ‘Programmers’/Archonic Group that is now letting both species ‘go to be free.’

We will offer a guided meditation for you to connect to your Reptilian Self and help them to unplug from the programming, which allows YOU to unplug and deprogram at a deeper level too! Yeshua and Magdalenes will serve as Divine bridges to bring them into a higher frequency space of liberation and recovery.

You can join us by offering any amount of donation as an energy exchange here: soulfullheart.org/shop or here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

More info here about the series: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

We will send you the recordings to the previous four group calls in this series so you don’t need have attended them to come to this one. You will also receive the recording of this call today too if you can’t join us live!

love,
Jelelle Awen and Raphael Awen

***

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

SoulFullHeart Weekly Museletter: The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

This week there has been a big focus on the 4D Matrix and the awakening that is happening all over the world in regards to the lockdown and what it is exposing about the power structures in place. This is having an impact on the Inner Masculine as well as more awareness of our Reptilian aspects that are just as imprisoned in this matrix. Read the full Museletter here.

Featured this week is a piece from Gabriel Heartman. In it, he digests his own personal experience around the emergence and awakening of his own Reptilian Self and its impact on his healing and connection to the Inner Masculine:

It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

The ‘Free To Be’ group call series continues this Wednesday, April 29th @ 10am PDT. It’s already week five! If you’ve missed the previous calls, you can offer a donation at any time and receive the recording and also the link to attend any of the future calls live if you can or want to.

During this week’s call we will focus on the bigger picture around the Reptilian entwinement with our human 3D reality and the need to unplug from the AI Matrix in the 4D as well during this time. The guided meditation will offer you connection with your Reptilian Self and other Star Family to help you unplug and move from captive to ambassador.

For more information about this series, visit soulfullheart.org/freetobe

There is a video by Gabriel Heartman sharing his reflections and digestions of being back as a facilitant and part of the support team. There is also a video of sample clips from the last Free To Be series with Raphael and Jelelle Awen to give you a sense of what those groups are like and the teachings that are included.

Also this week is the emergence of Monica Devi Bhakti as a new author on the blog and Collaborator with SoulFullHeart! There are many new articles and audio blogs this week from SoulFullHeart Facilitators/teachers, Raphael and Jelelle Awen, as well as SoulFullHeart Facilitator Kalayna Solais and facilitants Gabriel Heartman and Deva Yasmin. There are energy updates, personal process digestions, and ways to look at and feel what is happening on the 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness levels.

Check out our ‘Quotes of The Week’ section for some quote cards you can save and share! If you can, please do tag us whenever possible.

Raphael Awen and Kalayna Solais are available for 1:1 sessions to support you and your ongoing process. Raphael works with men and women and Kalayna works with women only. More info here: soulfullheart.org/sessions

Thank you so much for your interest in and support of SoulFullHeart Healing!

You can offer a donation to SoulFullHeart via PayPal here: paypal.me/jelelleawen

You can subscribe to our Museletters here: soulfullheart.org

Check out the latest Museletter here.

3D/4D Matrix Is Collapsing: Revelation/Rebellion/Liberation For Humanity

By Jelelle Awen

This really is a momentous time in humanity’s experience of falling into deep densities of 3D duality/polarity to Ascend again into unity consciousness! This phase feels like the disclosure and revelation that needs to happen in order to wake up more souls into awareness of the enslavement and control systems that have been in place for so long. The phase of awareness, knowing, and learning is an important one and each soul goes through that in their own ways. Some souls respond readily to facts and proof; others follow their intuition and ‘gut’ knowing to discover the truth; others need to see action and take action.

This waking up phase was always going to be messy. Clashes of opinions and perspectives; power struggles from those not wanting to lose control being challenged finally by those who had so long been suppressed; peaks of control and manipulation so that the necessary rebellion would finally spark. It seems that we are at this time of peak New World Order/Cabal/Deep State/Elites agenda of population mind control through the mainstream media/medicine, etc. being implemented during this supposed quarantine. WHILE, at the same time, this previously hidden agenda is being more and more revealed and resisted. The Q/Alliance movement has been blowing on the sparks of this revelation and rebellion (coming still from a polarized good vs. evil energy) yet providing a necessary fuel for the death and rebirth process to ignite.

This revelation seems to be possible because of the 3D Matrix collapse and detox that is going on right now in this previously unprecedented way. With most of the world shut down from the usual 3D routines of work-eat-sleep repeat, there is more time for learning, for seeking, for feeling/processing (the stages of grief) and for rebelling. There is more time for awakening!

Rebellion is a necessary phase of this awakening too. Rebellion is personal truth and sovereignty being accessed and a ‘NO!’ being declared to the energies that have previously controlled, manipulated, and enslaved. The seeds of rebellion often exist in our Inner Teenager, who received invalidation rather than initiation into their soul frequencies, so their rebellion against the 3D conditioning and programming wasn’t able to express. This rebellion happens on a 3D and 4D level as necessary, because these are the dimensions where duality of victim/tyrant/saviour experience are even possible.

During this revelation and rebellion phase, many souls will go against each other, take sides, create enemies to fight and battle against, be one of the ‘good guys’ or one of the ‘bad guys’. If their consciousness is still anchored to this duality, then they need to do this…moving into the polarity in order to emerge out the other side of it in more of a neutral, compassionate, and non-charged place. On a higher soul level, there aren’t any real bad guys or evil, as ALL of it is of the Divine and returns to the Divine. Yet the experience of being harmed and of fear IS real in the lower dimensions for the parts of us and Soul Aspects that need to be felt, digested, and cleared in a validated and compassionate way.

This revelation and rebellion is also possible because of a seemingly significant collapse in the Archon AI 4D Matrix. As I’ve shared about before, this 4D Matrix (which is the source of the 3D matrix) has required the enslavement of many Reptilians to entwine with their human counterparts in order to keep it operational. The Reptilian is used as a battery or power source to project the 3D Matrix reality to and through the human (and sometimes even a group of humans). The Reptilians themselves have often been captured and held against their will, the AI using their Unity Consciousness frequency bandwidth ‘against them’ to broadcast their One Mind control programs through them.

Many people during the revelation phases of their awakening become fixated on the Reptilians as the ‘ultimate evil ones’ (once they move beyond the Global elite/Satanic bloodline human level), when actually these Reptilians are puppets and slaves in similar ways as many humans as well. I have met so many beautiful Reptilian Beings in sessions who are able to be connected to and unplugged from the AI Matrix by their human counterparts once the layers of fear and resistance to them are moved through.

The true power and control has been at the level above them, the Archonic Realm or Archonic Group or just ‘The Group’, who seem to be shadowy figures (who didn’t feel Reptilian) with mostly AI functioning, devoid of empathy, and playing their roles too in running both the 3D and 4D matrices of control. When I connected with the Archonic Group recently, they were turned away from the Matrix programs, as if they were no longer interested in them. They told me that Reptilians and Humans were now ‘released from the program, let go and free to go.’ The Archons were now going to go into ‘reconciliation’ mode to digest the harm and suffering they had caused on the Earth and 4D planes. I got the sense that they signed up to play this role in order to somehow move into feeling emotions again and reactivate their empathy as a collective which happens as they receive Divine forgiveness for their actions.

I felt the significance of this as it was being shown to me. The sense was that we truly are now FREE. The prison doors have been unlocked and are now OPEN. It is now up to us as emancipated prisoners to walk through them and claim our freedom. This is true on both the human level and the Reptilian level. Mutual liberation is important as without that process, the Reptilian’s consciousness in 4D remains anchored to AI Archon mind control programs as a ‘default state’.

On a higher soul level, we CHOOSE these roles to play and these things to experience along with a deep veil of amnesia in order to fully immerse into it. The time of amnesiac immersion into these dualistic playouts is completing and we are now being invited by the Divine to rise into our sovereignty and freedom again.

We are being invited to ‘do no harm’ to ourselves and to other sentient beings while the exposure of the deep harm, abuse, and violence of humans (especially children) and animals is being disclosed.

We are being invited to see and feel no one as truly an enemy even as we come into revelation of them, yet extend forgiveness as it is ready to be received.

We are being invited to become Sacred Humanity and become the Infinite Love that we ARE and to create a world that reflects that truth of our essence once again!

love,

Jelelle Awen

Here is a guided meditation to meet your Reptilian Self and unplug them from the AI Matrix: https://youtu.be/pA7ZjZj2K8M

We’ll be sharing more about this in our group call, the fourth in our Free To Be series, on Wednesday, April 29th at 10:00am to attend live and/or receive the recording. The topic will be about accessing the 4D AI Matrix, along with the 3D Matrix, and connecting with your Reptilian Self around this to deepen the unplugging process.You are welcome to join us and/or receive the recording for a donation. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Thank you to Gabriel Heartman for the graphic art for this post!

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Group Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. Jelelle is no longer offering 1:1 sessions yet for more information about  1:1 individual sessions with other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group calls with Jelelle, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheart.org.

The Gift Of Humility And Gratitude

Yesterday was the first time I had been in a SoulFullHeart group space for a few months. While in one way it felt like yesterday, it was also a huge gap for parts of me that have been in deep feeling space and processing over that time. This is such evidence of how we live on many different dimensions at once and time is just does not have a standard trajectory, nor is real in many ways.

My movement with my masculine and reptilian self two days prior really felt to pave the way for this reunion. I could feel some nervousness and doubts from parts of me that I would be at that frequency to be able to vibe into the coherence. This of course is one big projection of my own lack of worth that I have been working on since I parted in January.

However, through the process that I had, I felt a clearing inside of me that ‘moulted’ away the layer that was holding this reaction and energy. I could feel myself more in the space as Gabriel, the being that really never left yet has come back with a new relationship to himself and the world around him. That difference, I noticed last night, was that of authentic humility and gratitude.

These two emotional grounds are the result of the self-love and deep, wounded ego healing that I went through while I was away. I could feel a reverence of the space, the beloveds in front of me, but more importantly the reverence and care for myself that had been cultivated during this time. I felt my parts being held by me and leaning into the goodness that was alive in the space. There was no self-judgement or comparison going on that seemed to run underground in the past.

I felt who I was and where I was in the ‘order’ of things and felt so very present to the goodness of that. Not trying to be anything I wasn’t. This is all that has ever been asked of me, yet I hadn’t asked of it from myself. This time I have and it felt palpably different. I have to owe all of that shift to parts work and my own dedication to it. Even if things were to shift at some point and I find myself on my own again, I have a me that can’t leave me. I would go through grief, for sure, but I would not perish or suffer.

It is with this humility and gratitude that I can ride the waves of what the universe bestows upon me whether it be as a collaborator, a support system, a facilitator, or all three! I know this is where I belong in whatever fashion. This is my family, my community, and my way of life. And for that it was all worth it.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Feeling The Inner Masculine To Move from Surviving To Thriving

By Deva Yasmin

I have been noticing for some time a certain pattern or habit within me. I have been feeling and exploring this much deeper these past days as I adjust to a new way of being, it feels like. As I transition from dream space to waking space, I notice anxiety coming up, this automatic pattern that has been there for so long to get up, get doing, get working. Already in my dream space I sense a chaotic-ness as I am stirring into conscious reality.

I felt yesterday a part of me called ‘David’, my Inner Masculine I have been working with for a while. As we felt together I felt how long he has been in this way of life, getting straight up out of bed, straight into work/survival mode; to move into my day from a place of rest and stillness felt so alien to him. That is the invitation and opportunity now it feels like, as I no longer have work to go to, as many of us are experiencing. I feel that this is also an invitation into a new way of being for us all, of moving into more thriving than only surviving this life. I feel inside me the growing desire to move in all areas of my life from a place of inner peace and stillness.

David expressed to me that it was new to not have to go into the day from a place of stress and to-do lists, but that he also does enjoy the practical aspects of life. I felt him not so anxious about it, rather desiring to be acknowledged as the part that is here to provide for me and my parts practically. This felt so lovely and soothing to other parts of me, to feel I have David here to help with those things as they are needed. He then transitioned to becoming my Inner Father which opened some touching healing between him and Yazzy, my Inner Child.

It was interesting to me then to feel the same anxiety arising as I woke this morning, and when checking in I could no longer feel David but a new part coming through who was very anxious about having no work. I felt a lot of fear around how we will support ourselves financially and feed ourselves too. As I felt deeper, this part revealed himself to me as ‘John’, a Metasoul brother it feels like, in a timeline of starvation and poverty. He was very concerned, he felt taking time in the morning to ease into the day was frivolous, something he could not afford to do. I could feel him being the sole provider for his family, a wife and two small children, who were all starving and dying as were many people around them, it felt like. He told me how he had to feed his children, feeding them before himself, his fear so triggered by me no longer having work, as well as my new geography in London it feels like, and me now desiring to step into a new way of earning money, rather than the old way of employment that my parts are used to.

I was able to acknowledge his experience and his feelings, although I could not do anything to change his reality. I helped him feel that starvation and poverty are no longer a part of my life now, even as I live on less money and eat less too. My relationship to food is not coming from a poverty mindset, but rather from years of transitioning to feeling what I actually need versus overeating as a cover over to not feel my emotions. Feeling John so explains why I have had a fear based connection to food this life, feeling him starving in his. I supported him to feel the reality of his situation, soberly feeling the outcome, that him and his family may possibly die yet he did not have to suffer. He had the choice to be present with his children, love them, soothe them, rather than keep panicking about what to do. This softened something for him as I felt him moving into being in what is, and with his beloveds while he still could.

Feeling John I felt so much gratitude for what I do have in the moment, the food I have even if it is not the amount parts of me have been used too, grateful to feel that starvation isn’t part of my timeline now although I know it is for so many. I sense how much I have held onto because of the fear of survival, feeling how unhappy it has made me to stay in jobs I do not like and how even relationships too can be a way of covering over the fear. I feel how society can make women feel like they need a man to provide and survive and I am sure men have their own version of this too.

For me right now I have let go of so many things that have made me feel safe, as I have chosen to move towards my desires for more resonance and purpose in my life. I have a feeling of how I wish my life to feel, so I am having to meet all the fear of moving towards it. I feel how I have been in this transition for some time especially around money, having struggled to manage full-time employment. I had to question how much I actually needed. Feeling how much energy and inner resources it takes to maintain work that is not my passion, I no longer wanted to do it and with the exchange of money no longer being a big enough draw for me either, I now desire to thrive not only survive.

Exploring what it feels like to thrive is a new exploration ground, feeling through the transition of having less money to truly feel what thriving feels and looks like. It feels like a transition we will all have to go through at some stage in our Awakening. For me, thriving does not mean the same thing as success; thriving is not solely based on financial abundance but can include that too. To thrive for me feels like TIME, to have time to actually live, to enjoy the world around me, to breath it all in. To be grateful for the simplest of things, vulnerability, connection, intimacy, honesty, and service of Love to others and self. Feeling balance in all areas of your life and to be leading from love, peace and lots of joy rather than lack and fear. These are not things that can be maintained or even experienced when we are so overly focused on the 3D survival matrix paradigm, as I have just remembered, again, after needing to go into full-time employment that is not my passion or Soul purpose once more, to finally be able now to leave it behind.

I feel an empty space between where parts have been focused for so long on 3D, to where we are heading in 5D/Golden Earth Reality as I checked in with Enu, my Pleaidian aspect around this. Also, to feel where I am now as I explore how to transition personally. Enu told me that in her world, they do not work with the energy of money, that it is an Earth experience/challenge and frequency, part of human life only, it feels like. I feel her holding the picture of energy exchange, of freely offering our gifts to one another when needed, of sharing with others and of not being scared of asking for help when it is needed either, that all resources are shared in her timeline. Abundance means so many things in her world, whereas here on Earth it can so often be felt or seen as only money equals abundance. They are also deeply connected to their creativity and gifts which gives them life, as well as living on prana too, rather than physical food as we do. They absorb life force from the world around them, through breath.

This feels so much like what I have been longing to experience and am on my way towards especially joining SoulFullHeart as a Collaborator, with the desire to be a Facilitator in the future, as well as one day living together in community. It is what I moved towards more, moving into my new place in London too, with beautiful resonant souls, a choice that was financially risky after losing my job but that David navigated and manifested financial support for me around too. Now I have the space to breathe and question what I want to bring into the world, what is my passion and the creativity/wisdom and healing I have to offer to others through my own healing. I feel the desire and LOVE in my heart switching on to be of service to others, for which I will need to continue to feel the parts in fear around all of this.

Feeling the higher timelines available does soothe my parts and helps me be more in the moment around everything, keeping my vision alive and burning, anchoring me in my commitment to keep going IN and feeling all the difficult reactions and timelines within my Soul. Feeling with sobriety when things are not working, when things have become stagnant and when we need to move in a different direction is SO hard. Feeling when there is nothing to do, but to feel the pain, sadness, grief, trusting that that is what will move us forward when the time is right, and the Divine knows the timings here not us.

Learning to trust the perfection of this life, this universe, comes to me through being able to sit in, be in, and feel everything that is moving within me. Feeling the Love growing for myself, feeds my truest desires and gives me the courage to keep moving towards NEW Earth, even though the way through is in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. This does not have to be a scary transition anymore though, as more and more resources from within our Soul are activated as we feel the lifetimes/timelines where we have been training and preparing for these times for so long. Everything we need for these transitions is within us.

Love,

Deva x

Deva Yasmin is a SoulFullHeart Collaborator & Facilitant. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc

 

 

 

 

 

The Awakening Of The Reptilian Self

Yesterday was a very emotionally heavy and visceral day for me. I have been feeling rumbles within my masculine over the past several days in response to what he was calling The System. We all know what that means, i.e. the particularities of living in a 3rd density world. Laws, social norms, bureaucracy, money, et al. There was this arising desire to fuck it all and just go live in a nearby park and detach himself from it all. It had a ring of freedom in it. I have the capacity in my soul to just live simply and on the land, which I did in Mexico with my SoulFullHeart beloveds, so it wouldn’t be a huge deal in some way.

Yet, in these reactions there is always something deeper. As was offered to me in our SoulFullHeart Facebook group, the desire to be free is an aspect of feeling a freedom of expression, my masculine expression. That landed very deeply and I could feel my inner masculine, Marcus, resonating with that. He was feeling the ways in which his own creativity has been used in a very practical way in order to survive and manage in the world. Not a very sacred use of his power and passion, but also very necessary.

As I woke up yesterday, I felt an anger begin to swell about all of this from within. I let him vent it out to get to a raw place and then deep tears came. A flood that seemed to last off and on for most of the day in between falling asleep several times. A feeling of hopelessness came over me that was hard to get a hold of so I just let it be. Let it take its course. I was offered by Raphael that there is some grid work that I was working on that is connected to the collective rumbles that are going on. I had felt earlier how these types of uncertain reactions are deeper responses to what is moving in the world. Sometimes it just takes me away and is hard to find me in all of it.

As the energy continued to move through me I began to get an awareness of my reptilian self name Gilesh. I have connected with him briefly in the past but it never got to a visceral awareness. Marcus, my wounded masculine, was a doorway to my reptilian aspect. I feel how this may be true for a lot of us. This hierarchical power structure that leads all the way to the Wizard of Oz itself, the AI. Once I was able to see him, so much began to come to the surface. I realized he was awakening into his and my awareness, really, for the first time.

I saw him lying on a kind of hospital bed with cords all around him, having been unplugged and in reaction to what he was experiencing. It was like an enormous detox from the centuries of being imprisoned, conditioned, and controlled. Very similar to the scene in The Matrix where Neo wakes up to his reality. I sat with him and just held the space for him to feel. A lot of rage and despair came from remembering what and who he was before the ‘take over’ he calls it.

This is quite significant for me. I have been really wanting to access this aspect of me because I could feel how much it has played a part in my life in regards to this feeling of acquiescence and rebellion in the same space. I have felt a suffering in space between and all along it was his! I got how much suffering this poor being has been in. How much trauma he has witnessed and been a part of all in the name of supplying the ‘loosh’ for the entities that were in control of the Matrix itself as well as its AI creator.
It is this break away from The System that my reptilian is experiencing. This feeling of ‘what the fuck am I if I am not this’? Trying to piece together the ‘past’ and remember the Garden of Eden from whence he came. Yet, there is something he knows he wants to be a part of. He wants to be a part of putting an end to this once and for all. He wants to help expose and collapse the frequency that has his race in energetic and emotional chains and thus humanity’s. They are inextricably entwined.

This will be a process of moving from angst, to guilt, to forgiveness, to compassion. I feel his power as my power. His masculine as a part of mine. This awakening feels like it will help ambassador something in the collective as we begin to learn more and more of The System and what it has done to humanity and to its children especially. It is a process of seeing how we have always been a part of it in one way or another. Yet there needs to be a space for the process of awakening and of grief. It is personal and quantum and has the potential to change our world forever. But for now, it is all about giving him all the love that is needed to find out who he really is outside of Hell.

*****

Join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for the 5th group call in the Free To Be series titled Unplugging From The 4D AI Matrix this coming Wednesday, April 29th at 10AM PST or get the recording if you can’t make it live. Go to www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe for more info.

If you feel guided to connect with your Reptilian Self I recommend Jelelle’s Deepen series video and meditation on this topic here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLjwm17eBBTRhE3dbezYJdu&index=5

*****

Gabriel Heartman is a Facilitant and Collaborator with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartorg.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Finding Compassion As We Calibrate To The Truth Of Our Times

By Kalayna Solais

Pretty intense head and neck pain this morning which started last night… a detox and a calibration too after going down more ‘rabbit holes’ which has become a daily venture lately. I don’t feel much emotional reaction to it all anymore now aside from waves of necessary tears that open up to swells of deepening compassion even for the ‘culprits’, as I can feel they are still my ‘brothers and sisters’ and how we are always connected.

The world of celebrity (which is one of the main rabbit holes to go down right now) is one of duality, of separation, of energizing ‘I am a god/goddess and you are not’ and with the recent WHO support concert, ‘Together at Home’, this gap and separation has been praised and preached on in other ways too, encouraging the audience to embrace all of the now mandated social/physical separation as a new lifestyle. It’s an ‘Elite’ agenda disguised as a message of hope from on high, just as so many dark and covert messages have been disguised for decades, masked by propaganda and many mind-controlled ‘puppets’ in the world of the rich and famous and in the mainstream media too. This article I took in yesterday made some amazing points about it all: https://vigilantcitizen.com/moviesandtv/together-at-home-was-an-infomercial-for-the-global-elite-and-its-agenda/

The veil is becoming pretty thin around all of this now though with more information more easily available and more souls ready to take it in and feel all they need to feel about it, running the gamete of mourning reactions from denial to anger to sadness to hopelessness. I feel how this is what’s supposed to happen now as these ways of celebrating duality in these dark and ultimately very, very painful expressions are running out of ground and about to reach a new level of healing that’s becoming accessible as those who were once considered powerful are now realizing they are quite vulnerable and grasping at straws trying to avoid truly feeling that in themselves.

It’s so easy to feel disillusioned and depressed at this time of awakening and many souls will need to be in that for a while… the ‘sheen’ is wearing off of what was once considered shiny and attractive about celebrity, about immense business ‘achievement’, about the real and often gritty work of awakening through these intense and challenging birth canals of expanded awareness. I for one didn’t know much about the Elite pedophile rings until now and it’s been VERY important to allow myself and every part of me to be with the reactions and feel them, even the cognitive dissonance that does eventually lead to deep tears of feeling the young ones involved in all of it. Through these feelings I find context again though and was offered strongly last night to ‘not be afraid’ and to remember that even those souls who have chosen to be the perpetrators are my ‘brothers and sisters’ and often they aren’t fully aware of what they’re doing or, they are walking out the expressions of extreme polarity that they’re meant to in their lifetime to help us see and reconcile our own darkness.

Enter now our awakening connections (though still largely unconscious for many of us) to our Reptilian aspect(s) in other dimensions who are witnessing all of this and awakening themselves. I felt my own, whose name is Skeevra, come in last night to feel this all through with me, everything that I’ve been reading and downloading and feeling. I began my conscious connection with Skeevra a couple of months ago and she was dazed then, just coming out of ‘hive mind’ and realizing she had an individuality to now embrace as well as a connection to the rest of my Galactic aspects who quickly took her into their care. She feels quite cleared of that cloud she was in now and wanted to be with me this morning as I write this piece, for some of these playouts of AI mind control, pleasure at any cost and always in close relationship to pain, lack of empathy, etc, originate from the Reptilian dimensions yet are also being reconciled there as more and more of them begin to heal their separation from the Divine and from Love itself.

Skeevra doesn’t have many ‘words’ but sends me pictures as we communicate. I saw her molting today and felt how this is happening for me too, layers and layers that have kept my heart from feeling more compassion for others and served me to stay in outrage reactions and an over-fixation on dissonance in my life rather than nourishing the resonance. These are all Reptilian energies and they are in reaction/response to the newly evolving self-awareness in many of them that awakens as WE awaken for we cannot separate from them or any other being in this universe.

These reactions are in fact normal and necessary to feel and there is so much Divine compassion for all of us, no matter what we are feeling in reaction to what we hear or read about right now or at any time. There is always, though, an invitation to move through it and let the Divine support you on your way back to love consciousness, back to an awareness of WHY this has all been happening, what we are to learn from it all about TRUE and DEEP compassion and empathy, and why we absolutely need to have that for ourselves, within ourselves, on our journey to feel that deeper with others. Feeling this for and with our own individual Reptilian connections feels like a key to this deeper movement/healing.

In all of this, I keep coming back to the same context… that we wouldn’t have been walking this out, living out these patterns and this duality if we didn’t NEED to on our path to Ascension. Ascension is, ultimately, a return to Divine love and consciousness, a return to beautiful awareness of our Divinity and Christ-light within. We have steps to be with on the path to this embodiment and all of them are sacred… even in these extreme and sometimes incredibly shocking playouts of ‘other-ness’.

Much love from my ever-finding-its-way and VERY humbled sacred human heart to yours… ❤

~

I highly recommend connecting with Jelelle Awen’s guided meditation to meet your Reptilian aspect if you’re curious about that for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7ZjZj2K8M&feature=youtu.be

Also! THIS coming Wednesday, April 29th, Raphael and Jelelle will be talking about connecting with your Reptilian aspect and unplugging from the AI/4D Matrix during their next group call in the “Free to Be’ series. More info here: soulfullheart.org/freetobe

Raphael Awen and I are available for 1:1 sessions to help you explore these reactions and connections within yourself… for more info on sessions, visit soulfullheart.org/sessions

***

Kalayna Solais is a Love Ambassador, SoulFullHeart Women’s Facilitator & collaborator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.