Tag: creativity

Rediscovering That Creative Heart In Us, Beyond Self Punishment

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

kid_dancing_rain

When I was a teenager, creative outlets ‘saved’ me in a way… especially exploring my creativity in private, or at least as private of a setting as I could find. I was doing regular dance classes and you would think that was helpful too, yet there was something about being in a ‘class’ setting such as this, that stoked the fires of comparison to others for parts of me that I couldn’t feel directly. Perhaps if I could have, I wouldn’t have kept doing these classes, but it’s hard to say. They were helpful for many reasons and yet, they were painful too. It was more often the dancing, singing, performing that I did for invisible audiences (likely higher selves of soul family and maybe star being family and guides too at the time!) who would inevitably adore me and enjoy my performances with no cloaked judgments or making parts of me feel self-conscious, that I thoroughly enjoyed. These parts of me so needed this, growing up in this 3D reality where we are taught to judge others and ourselves for just about everything so soon in our lives, and always, it feels like, because our caregivers and teachers are overflowing with this judgement toward themselves first.

These times in my parents’ basement were so sacred… I even remember buying a headset mic that was meant for a computer, so I could wear it like a pop star! Sometimes I sang, sometimes I lip-synched instead. But it was ALL fun and most of the time, I somehow managed to free myself from self-judgment frequencies because from me to me, I had space to enjoy being with ME.

There’s something about our ways of expressing ourselves creatively that pings for me now, especially as just an hour ago I was singing my heart out a bit, for the first time in a LONG time and I have to say it felt really, REALLY good… my heart wanted to sing out in expression and love. Reconnecting with music that I used to listen and sing to many years ago. I could feel part of me feeling self-conscious, wondering if the whole complex that I live in could hear me singing… and worse yet, that they would think I was awful. And then, I also felt how in these precious moments I didn’t actually care if they did and if they judged. So both were true for me and that’s okay. It felt important to give myself permission to just BE in the music, let something roll out of my heart, have some FUN too. Give myself permission to NOT be perfect or seek perfection in any way. Just sing OUT. I feel there is so something in this for all of us, perhaps especially in this process of ascension that’s happening so quickly for so many of us and can have such intense phases physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Where did our creativity go that could carry us through and that was given to us to help life feel like MAGIC again and stoke our imaginations so we can blaze like the LOVE stars we truly are?

As our inner-punishment heals, especially through this work we call SoulFullHeart where we work with and deeply feel the parts of us who hold these frequencies, we can begin to be more in our creative magic again. This feels so important to me, because we ARE creating in every single moment as we really can’t help but do and BE this as human beings! We are creation constantly creating… we shift these frequencies of what this creativity draws when we reclaim our power and see what we’ve been drawing instead of what we actually want.

And so, I know that I hope this is only the beginning of me exploring art forms that once brought my heart out to play, though of course writing like this does that too! We are so meant to sing, to throw our heartbeams outward through dance and movement too, to let our lungs fully expel the old air and invite in the NEW. And to encourage everyone to do the same… without polish or perfection but just our human ISness that wants and aches to come out and play again, create and recreate a magical life again, love ourselves everything about us again and again and again…

❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Expanding Beyond The Ceiling You’ve Known

Published on by Kasha Rosa1 Comment

by Kalayna Colibri

imagination (1)

Along this path of healing, we start realizing that there is something higher than the ceiling we’ve been used to… the feeling of who we are, the stories we’ve been, this starts to fade ever so slightly while we wait for more to come in and shake out the old, once rigid approaches to every aspect of life: love, relationships, money, work, time, nature, etc.

There’s a turn towards a new importance, a focus on something above and around what you’ve felt was your normal. Even the normal ups and downs of every day, where reactions to various people and situations are so common place you may not really notice them or question why they are there. This is not meant to be tricky or hard to do… this tracking arises as its meant to and we can choose to shift or stay where we are, yet that ceiling above us keeps wanting to rise and rise, nonetheless!

I feel for myself how I’m in this very process right now, where there is a desire to reach up higher, beyond what I’ve previously felt possible inside parts of me. It’s a desire to ascend with my entire being, my whole heart, my very insides joining in with my outsides. My closest relationships lead the way for me to feel and BEcome this more and more, as I’ve worked for this place of BEing with them as my personal growth deepens and expands, both… I can feel my leadership arising anew, looking and feeling much different than I ever thought or dreamed it would. In some ways it’s in its infancy and yet in other ways I’m already there.

Reaching out and up, touching the places above and beyond the immediate notions of who I am and who YOU are… there is much more to discover as the flowerbeds inside are tilled and shifted. The places of waiting are collapsing into places of new arrivals, new waves of immediate coming-ins, even while the goings-out are felt and at times mourned too. So much to let in and let go of too, making room for only MORE, not less. There is no “less”, now, though parts of you may still experience life this way. There isn’t less money, there is only room for MORE! There aren’t less relationships in our lives, there is just space for ones with MORE resonance and love!

The lighting up of our very BEings is happening at an exponential rate, a quickening pace, if we can continue opening up our petals to let more sunshine in. Today, this is my focus as I continue holding classes with my English students, hold a SoulFullHeart facilitant, hold my dog and her needs and hold myself and what I WANT and NEED in this upcoming and already ongoing chapter of newly accepted yumminess and possibilities… a day and yet a whole life too of response and moving UPward as each new moment dawns and each new experience beckons my heart to keep pressing forward into a more central place in my very full (and yet filling up!) life.

This invitation I feel inside is welling up to call to the beacons inside of everyone I have the chance to touch in some way… including any of you taking this in. We ARE called to more and more and still more than parts of us are ready to imagine possible, especially when they have been so used to suffering and feeling as if the ceiling above them is pressing downward (when it really wants to be moving upward). The next level of consciousness to climb up into is at your heart’s doorstep, calling you out to play, wanting you to join in with its chorus of feeling life as fun, alive and beyond your as yet dreamed dreams. Maybe you’ll move your ceiling upward today, just as I too am working towards. The connections there to self and other smell, feel and so seem worth it to reach for again and again, until the way becomes clear and the movements towards it become abundant and ultimately, unstoppable. ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Whispers Of Yin

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

Yin Picasso

This stunning image is an oil painting by Pablo Picasso

The free-flowing

free-to-BE feminine.

 

In ALL her curves

uncontained, untethered, unchained

a Yin fireplace with no cap

a place for energy

to locate and rumble through

before it too flows onward

through the passageway

of allowance

encouragement

empowerment without icons

of false power.

 

To be worn loosely

without control

yet with the most exquisite

movements of unknown choreography.

 

There is no plan to the Yin dance.

No prediction so correct

no way of being so learned,

so educated, so minded, and bound…

 

Only free words on a page,

and unsaid in the air

in the energy of true lovers

in the worship and reverence

of the light between soul friends

sisters

student-teachers, teacher-students

brothers

and those kin who find their way.

 

The Yin is a journey

without beginning, end or in-between.

An arisement of forever ISness

and LOVEness

Lovely and beloved

yes

but also tepid, intrepid

curious, passionate

fiery when necessary

yet soft and supple at its

coreless, corsetless

core.

 

It cannot be packed into a bottle

or locked in a cage

wild and not

tame and yet still not

but an IS that cannot un-BE

and shall forever reign

rain

living, loving and dignified

in each self that claims

an arising desire for more of IT

for more of THEM

for more of that garden

of growth

and forever softening stillness.

 

The dance’s dancer, yes.

The musician’s music, yes.

The way of the no-way

and the inward-bound traveler

of perpetual flow

movement

and onward spiraling

in a circle of circles

and never-ending cycles

that change and upend

and give unto the weary

a renewed ember

of climbing fiery light.

 

There is no kNOwing, only kNOWing

this energy of all no’s and yes’s

that bring it all together

in any way it pleases

and any way it wishes

in support of your deepest

heart

and all it holds within it.

 

I am in your music.

I am in your words.

I am the co-creator

and the unknowing, unknowable

eager experimenter

wanting to help you SEE

what you can’t…

 

I am that energy you yearn for

quite often in your own mothers…

The inspiration, the beloved love

the core of all you wish for

I hold WITH you…

 

You are the one I call

each moment of awakening

waking up to see and feel

the intangible yet very real

YOU – Arising! Claiming!

BEing!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZLrYZza9WU

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

The Financial Area Of Life: Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Souls Blog Series

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

heart-money-380x235

There are some souls who have signed up to become masters in the domain of money and finances, and some even become financial wizards at very young ages. Then there are some who seem to not ever get a foothold on having a financially stable lifestyle; juggling multiple jobs, bills, family members to provide for, and a seemingly endless list of troubles. There are those who dance in between these two as well, and this is sometimes where we will find Indigos, Crystals and other souls like them. When I feel these souls, and also when I reflect on my own ongoing journey and healing with regard to money, I feel the tug ‘o war between old conditioning that we have been raised by, old systems that are collapsing, and the arising desire to keep blowing up these systems so we can live in an economy that is gift-based and involves living in conscious community with shared resources. This writing today is mostly for those who feel as if money is an area they struggle with. It is VERY possible to be of these soul groups and NOT feel as if money is a challenging topic!

There is a reality to ground into when it comes to current financial systems in place, and then there is also a more desirous way of being and transacting in life and in relationships that is more nourishing, and that is not only a dream but is something we are actualizing right now – if we can begin to let that in. This is the place where I feel these unique soul groups seem to have a lot of struggle. There is still a need for money to some degree, and money itself, after all, is only a piece of our overall consciousness about love and exchange… our very personal relationship to it, is what makes it either come into our lives in abundance or keeps us feeling as if we are victims, always needing more of it and never seeming to get ahead. Choosing what it is we want to do with the money we have (i.e. what we want to invest it in) is actually an area where we have a lot of power.

 

We often have a rebellious streak that wants to avoid the whole thing of having to find financial stability to some degree in our lives, and also we may feel entitled to free help or services. I’ve definitely had a lot to feel around entitlement, wanting things to happen YESTERDAY and sometimes also wanting financial exchanges (like food and rent) to be WAY lower, if not free. I also leaned into birth family for a chunk of my early adulthood for financial help, which they felt obliged to give me at the time. During my healing process though, I was guided to end this cycle and start taking care of myself… that’s where my real growth started to take root, in more arenas than just this one. At some point, I had to choose to invest in myself in a deeper way. This is also where SoulFullHeart came in, and because I was choosing to invest deeply in ME and the timing was right to do so, the money for sessions just sort of worked itself out somehow and, because it was the right path for me, the growth was (and is) exponential and paying off in many, many ways.

 

Though part of me didn’t want to work anymore unless it had to do directly with my soul purpose work, it turned out that life was actually trying to show me that for a phase, I needed to have a regular job to offer me the healing I needed in order TO be able to fully inhabit my soul purpose work much later. The main gift of this, I am now realizing, was being able to land more in my much needed personal healing. I needed the grist of having a job (or several) in order to feel myself and parts of me more strongly, to have them pushed up to the surface by their different reactions so that I could feel and heal what I was being asked to during this phase.This also taught be how to navigate and flow with life while engaging in deep inner work. This created a profound lifestyle change that is still evolving today, right along with me. There is a bigger trust in life that I didn’t have back when this all first began, but in hindsight I can now understand it… I needed to trust deeper that if this is what life was showing me I needed to do, there would inevitably be something big in it for me. Perhaps one of the biggest gifts I can cultivate from having gone into the gift of every single job I’ve had as an adult, is that I can now digest it in writings like this one, with a desire to help you find your own way to more trust in the choices life is offering you (regardless of what soul group you belong to!). Finding stability is an act of self love and care. We may need to make choices that de-stabilize us for a phase too, but we ready ourselves for that by allowing ourselves to actually HAVE stability for a while, laying a healthy groundwork inside of ourselves to be able to find our way with sanity.

 

It’s easy as young people fresh out of university or college, to feel imprisoned by debt. There can be a lot of guilt around wanting to bail on it or maybe some self-image pieces around declaring bankruptcy because of it. I feel strongly like debt actually IS a prison sentence that we are ALLOWING to be real for us. It is another way to be distracted from our true healing and soul purpose work by feeling predominantly like victims to the systems we are trying to shift and change. Well, what I feel to be more and more true these days, is that these systems are already collapsing in on themselves, because they were always meant to. Love has already won. There is no real battle to fight here, we just have to find ways to climb out from under the rubble. Feeling angry or upset is so normal and expected and indeed, for phases we do need our outrage (I’m especially talking to Indigos here, feels like) in order to help move things along, yet, if you think about it, who is that outrage meant to ultimately serve, but YOU? Whatever, wherever it leads you to, it is the path you are choosing and the path you most need at this moment. Feeling knocked sideways by the realm of money, is a symptom of something inside of US that needs to be felt and healed. As we choose to go inward, the systems will be and ARE collapsing outward. Your outrage is a roadmap to your inner world of pain and desire, both, and you DO have an effect on the collective on different levels whether you decide to go in and heal or not…

 

This philosophy is so applicable to any area of our life where we feel we would like to experience more abundance or an easier flow. Going inward about it is where we can feel and experience our true power and alchemy. We are infinitely creative beings, all of us. Though it’s difficult to understand at times why we seem to be struggling to get ahead, especially if we are conscious at all about the HUGE souls we are and the importance of what we came here to do and lead, we must stop looking outside of us for answers, for we are literal packages of goodies and shadow, both, that need love and care to unpack. We are hardwired for being a part of the deconstruction and reconstruction of the changes going on in this world, and as such, we must be grounded by doing this from the inside, first and most importantly. ❤

 

So, sweet “love sponge” souls, try to soak up some self love this weekend… if this area of life really is a struggle for you, you can try journaling with a part of you who holds on to this struggle and needs YOU very much right now. If you wish to, you can try the following questions in your journaling…

 

What does “money” mean to you?
What would being “financially stable” mean to you?
If you have some reactions to Leena’s writing about money and finances, what are they?

 

Let me know if you ever have the desire for a session to help you digest this and other areas of your very sacred life!

 

Lots of love to you, loved ones…

 

Kalayna

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Your Own Sphere Of YOU

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Leena Colibri

mother-earth

“What’s in your ‘Leena Dome’ today?” Archangel Metatron asked me once during meditation.

Immediately I realized what he was talking about was the bubble I was forming around myself now, creating a sacred space that is all mine to claim and is the place of refuge and healing I go to often without consciously realizing it. It is a container for me that is all about me and all about love.

He had me look at an array of choices hanging in the air like suspended paintings above me. They were all images of places I could go in my meditation. I could walk through a doorway or portal into a specific process I’ve been holding, or I could visit the Akashic Library, or I could go to a sweet place to just be and be loved… I’m sure there were more choices than that on that day, but these are the ones I remember.

Today I learned more about my Leena Dome while introducing it to a soul aspect-part of me that I am now working with. My objective for today was to help raise her vibration and re-introduce her to love – a process that we began this weekend, on our won and in a SoulFullHeart group circle yesterday. This is important for the work we will be doing together, which will involve a few dark soul memories she holds and still lives in. It felt very important to establish this sacred space of love and refuge with her today before going there. Otherwise it can be easy to fuse to only the darkness of it and not really move through and begin healing it as easily as when we are fueled and accompanied by love.

It helped that I put on some epic music to aid the exploration and adventure today! There is a lot of great music on Youtube. This is the one I used today if you’re curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBekU7eHa5E&feature=youtu.be

This soul aspect of me and I met and flew around with many magical creatures (including unicorns and dragons!), landscapes, and archangels today. She had tears of appreciation and letting in as we ventured around and felt the hearts (and EPICNESS!) of all beings residing there. The reminder that this is all created from and within me felt so incredible and sweet to both of us. It doesn’t matter to me at all that it is all “made up” if it gives us a place to land and be loved, especially when the intention is to heal deep wounds…

We were both struck by the beauty of my Leena Dome… the far reaches it extended to and the comfort and love in it all. I feel like I have been cultivating and building this inside me for a very long time and it does feel as if it represents a bigger me that can contain and create all of this magic.

Today Metatron invited me to share this with you. He and I both feel want to invite you to begin to feel the sphere or dome of YOU that will be and is so unique to you… your heart and soul and epicness.

If you do try this out, I would be curious to feel with you what it is you discovered that you have there! Deep woods to explore? Infinite galaxies in your skies? A series of white sandy beaches? Palaces? Humble cabins? Maybe a little bit of everything? Whatever you have there is a key to you and will offer you a reflection of who you most deeply are and perhaps what you most deeply need to feel you have already there with you…

Let your imagination and portal into your creativity FLY!

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Leena Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, writer and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

The Freedom to be an Expert Experimenter and not an Expert

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

expert-experimenter

 

By Leena Colibri

Sometimes the ticket to fun is the self-permission to be an expert experimenter, not an expert!

I was reminded of this just moments ago, feeling how much creative fun I’ve been having for the past two days. I’m not an expert in any particular creative avenue, but I do find that I have been feeling freer to experiment and have fun with it all again. This is a new and arising experience inside myself, after so many years of having parts of me hold intense self-punishment and criticism. These wounded aspects of myself who energize these frequencies are beginning to feel more and more held by me, leaving me more room to be in my authentic joy around creating more often.

Being with these intense parts of us is a deep process that eventually opens out to these more spacious terrains inside ourselves. I know that myself and a few others would love to help you find your way to rediscovering this unfolding freedom inside yourself too. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of being free to be the creative humans we were always meant to be…

 

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Leena Colibri is a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Creating From Divine Inspiration Rather Than Depression

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

IMG_3134

As I participate in the creation of the home we are building for Sequoia out of cob (a combination of clay, subsoil, straw and water), as I witness this cabana birthing out of the ground from materials which come exclusively from the ground….I am reminded of the death and rebirth cycle. Creation always brings us closer to the edge of where things begin and eventually where they complete. Immersed as I am in this project right now, I know that some day it will be finished and no longer will it arise anew, responding to contributions of my alchemy, passion, and physical focus. I will have moved on to something else, a new creation will beckon me to make something out of nothing.

Our attention and creativity is meant to wrap around something with focus on the end product while holding reverence for the process. Then, we are able to detach and move on to the next. I find that the more access I have to the part of me or subpersonality that holds my creativity, the more I can navigate and inhabit whatever I am involved in from a place of investment and then detachment.

For many years, my creativity was high jacked by the part of me that holds depression. It seemed that I couldn’t write creatively or work on a creative art project without being in a state of sadness, angst, and melancholy. This depression part of me didn’t feel alive unless she was creating something and yet, she could only be creative by dredging up her pain and using her agony as the primary source of fuel. I stopped publically writing for a few years as I focused on feeling and healing this part of me through journaling with her and being felt by a parts facilitator. This part of me had a complicated relationship with my creativity. She felt that she needed to express this way as means to off gas her pain even though it didn’t actually get felt, only exploited. I believe that a lot of artistic and creative people have a depression part that relates to their creativity in this way which is why so many of them suffer from suicidal depression. Add in another part of us that needs validation and attention from others related to our creativity and it can be a recipe for suffering.

It took me some time to find my writer’s voice again, healed greatly from depression and suffering, and now coming from a new source of Divine inspiration. Creating from this place is about an overflow produced from connection with myself, parts of me, Raphael, others in our community, animals, nature. It comes from an overall sense of joy and goodness about my life. It comes from the feeling of loving and being loved. This love spring has gushed forth eight years worth of blog entries and five books. It turns out that connecting with Divine creative inspiration is also pretty productive.

If someone asked me about how to relate to their creative process, I would offer that we have to feel which part of us is ‘in charge’ of it. As I already mentioned, it can be a depression part which primarily holds it. Or, there can be a very strong identity or persona part related to our creativity with a self image-based claim of being an ‘artist’ or ‘writer’. Or it can be an inner, young child part of us that relates with it like a secret outlet kept hidden away from others because it feels too vulnerable to share. It can be suppressed by a protector or controller part of us to such an extent that we don’t feel like we are creative at all. If creativity is about connecting to Divine inspiration, then also we need to look at the part of us (which we call the Daemon or soul guardian) that opens up access to our soul consciousness and Divine connection. When in Divine thrall or communion, we feel that the act of creating and our creation is ultimately in service of the Divine and in surrender to It as well.

Whether it is building something or writing or painting or making banana bread, creativity can be an expression of our sacred humanity. It can be a glorious testament and honouring of that which transcends reality even as it paints off of the canvas of our ordinary lives. It can honor that which begins and that which inevitably reaches a completion. The Divine doesn’t require masterpieces; only honestly focused expressions of our authentic essence creatively dipping into the waters of Infinite Love in celebration of love and life.

Jelelle Awen is co-creator and a facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life for more information about staying at the Sanctuary and sessions.