I created this meditation in an effort to help you connect with yourself, perhaps in a way you haven’t yet or perhaps, at least, not very often. I find that so many need this bridging to the emotional body, to the parts of them that are in pain and need, to these places and landscapes within that have been suppressed, often out of necessity, and that now need to be uncovered. Our deepest healing IS offered through access to our emotional bodies, and this healing not only works as far as helping us heal our humanity, but it also helps us bridge to, understand and HEAL our sense of spirituality as well.
This meditation arose rather spontaneously for me one afternoon here in Mexico, while listening to the music you’ll hear playing in the background of the voice track. I found myself in a deep Yin space with Magdalena and it felt like she and Christiel wanted me to simply start recording away, speaking whatever came to my heart and sharing the images I saw with all of you.
I sincerely hope that this reaches those it needs to, that will benefit most from it.
For more support along your emotional and spiritual healing journey, and especially with what you may uncover and feel (or not, as the case may be with parts that aren’t quite ready to come out yet!) during this meditation, please visit http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more information and to feel into having a free 30min intro session with one of us!
LOVE to you!
Kalayna ~
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Taking in a new arising desire for creativity after yesterday’s deep rest gestation gateway. It has a more balanced masculine approach to it. In a state of creation without production. This writing may not see publication. Who knows? I don’t even really know what I am focusing on today. Just being in the Now with what is moving through me. Letting feeling and intuition guide the way.
This creative motor is the root of our BEing. We are constantly creating. Responding to our inner emotional needs, fears, and desires. I desire to serve others in the name of Love through and with the SoulFullHeart process. I respond to that desire with writing, recording, meditating, connecting, and living the process in my daily life. I desire to heal, so I respond to that with feeling my inner world of parts and metasouls as the need arises in life and relationship triggers. It is not always neat and tidy. Matter of fact, it is rarely so because emotions are just not meant to be that way. If our Higher Self didn’t want to feel and experience all of this, you and I just would not be here. This is still a bit to swallow, especially if you have had, or are going through, some really serious shit.
There is a deep desire for geography change as part of this new timeline of “What is it that you really want?” comes into full view. So many desires sitting at the docks of our harbor waiting for sailing. I can feel myself in new lands, taking in new vistas, and new people to serve in Love. A mobile, responsive healing brigade of Love lovers spreading the gospel (good news) of parts work, metasoul healing, and practical ascension. Love wanting to heal the shadow into more Love. I respond to this by dreaming, imagining, and feeling the resistances and doubts within.
This gift of dreaming is what carries you through each day. It can also be what burdens a part of you too. Like, “How in the hell can I make THAT happen when there is THIS in my way!”. Yeah, good question. Well, the way is feeling what part of you is actually saying that because it ain’t you. If you are seeing the dream, feeling the dream, you are already the dream. But is just doesn’t feel like it because you are still ‘here’. “How can I be there if I am still here?” Yup…good question.
I would ask you where ‘here’ is. What does it feel like emotionally? Not situationally or geographically. Then you would respond to this feeling as being held by a part of you. Most generally an Inner Protector or Gatekeeper. Gaining separation from it so you can have a relationship to it. It is your Relation Ship. The one that you then unanchor from the dock and start sailing the tides of your emotional body with You at the helm. It ebbs and flows but you make forward progress each time to the destination you are dreaming about. In reality, you are already there, it is just these parts of you that are catching up to you. Feeling it that way gives you an empowered process rather than feeling stuck in the mud with your wheels turning. Alchemical traction.
Feeling through all the things that keep you from manifesting your dreams, feeling an inner joy, or discovering your passion purpose is what moves you to the next serendipitous moment of ‘coincidence’ and draw. Thinning out the distance between your heart and your imagination. It is not about HOW you are going to make it happen in a 3D sense, it is about WHAT you want, or are going to make happen. The timing is not up to you, but the choice to feel and heal is. Taking that step to transform your inner world is portal that takes you where you already are…in your wildest dreams.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Enjoying some rest time today. I was guided to just BE in quiet yinner space and let my heart guide me. Feel what needs connecting with inside. Then I recalled it was 12/12 today. A significant gateway into a higher timeline. I have been feeling a feminine container around me this last week or so even during occasional masculine production modes. I can actually feel Her during these times. She is wrapping something around me to guide me, and maybe more specifically, an aspect of me into a new ground of balanced creativeness. When I feel the more pressing or pushing energy, I know I hit the wall of Her womb gently inviting me back inward.
It is far less than it used to be in the past, but when it arises it is becoming much more recognizable. So it felt important to take this Yin space and feel this with my parts, more specifically my Gatekeeper, or soul guardian, for whom I am in deepening relationship with. He was feeling how the energy to produce can come from a need to fill a lack or void within. Something that is not being felt from a You-to-You space. It is the void space that holds some of our deepest fears. Fears of rejection, abandonment, and inadequacy. So much doing and achieving can be used to fill and cover this hole yet still not feel Whole.
This is a very kinetic feeling inside. An upward swing of temporal euphoria, like a subtle brush across the forehead that symbolizes a relief that a part avoided the void once again. The reality of course is that no matter what we throw into it or try and cover it with, it will always be there until we feel that part of us that is working overtime and not getting paid for it…meaning it is not feeling the deeper pain and being held in it with love.
I could feel the deeper layers of Noel needing connection with me. Needing help navigating this birthing into being and meaning. So used to being in the shadows, hiding and protecting. Being fused to the more wounded need for being loved by what you do and don’t say rather than who you are and what your truth is. Not being fully aware of what Love truly is wanting him to feel about himself as a part of a bigger picture of service and surrender. This is where the infusion of divine feminine energy is helping to birth both of us into a new timeline of leadership and expanding vulnerability. Purpose and meaning. The space between motion and rest. There is a great balancing act occurring in my world today as I surrender to it. That feels like the key into this next gateway. Surrendering to the feelings inside that are inside the covered void. Creating a Yin day for yourself and the parts of you that need your love and attention. This is what is offered in SoulFullHeart as a means to feel the deeper layers of your being to allow for more arising of your authentic and glorious creative You. I feel how the masculine in us all, both male and female, benefits from this rest and going yin time. Not as a means to check out, but a way to feel the next pieces to move into a higher vibration of joy and BEing that makes us whole again.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
I have been on an inner quest this life to feel what authentic emoto-spiritual masculinity truly looks and feels like. It is what I have called Sacred or Divine Masculine for lack of a better term. I feel a part of me as well in this exploration and question. In my essence, my masculinity is just what IS. It has no delineation. In my psyche, it is an archetype that has many colors and flavors. In my experience, it has shades of healing and trauma.
Through my own personal HIStory, I can feel how my 3D self has been on this quest to get his balls back. The ones he gave up so readily to an angry father, too afraid to stand up and fight back. The ones he gave over to mom for protection and valuation. It was holding back authenticity in the name of fear and care-taking. It was the need to forsake sovereignty in the name of unconditional love. But the love was always conditional. On both sides. It was the desire to feel the passion of life and true love unabated.
This quest for reclaiming inner authority, sovereignty, and passion ultimately led to worth. What is a man’s worth in this world? Fused to a more 3D existence it is chock-full of all sorts of ‘this and thats’. Most of which have nothing to do with our own felt sense of inner worth. This is where I was led to seeking love outside of me for assurance and insurance. Insurance against the void and the inner punisher within.
I was not raised religious but found a solace in the idea of a God that had a desire to love me and help fix me. Help feel like I was worth something. This God would be like a father and a mother both to my emotional body. A part of me related to women as a means to feel what I thought it was to be masculine. They were goddesses to my wounded teenager. A ping ponging of the spiritual and the physical without bridging the two.
As a began my inner journey of parts work I could feel the myriad inner aspects of myself that held so much trauma and templating from my family, while feeling rage and compassion both. I could begin to feel what MY masculinity was and wasn’t. I had projected so much of an ideal onto what masculinity was based on my own this-life experience.
Add on top of that exploring metasoul, or other lifetime aspects, and a world of wounded masculine comes into view. What it IS is really not the question anymore but what it is not. And that is always up for experiential debate as I live into a sacred romance inside myself and with a woman on a sacred feminine path.
Thus the quest continues as an unfolding of not something to live up to, as a part of me has always related to it, but of a moment to moment, day to day, conscious meditation into what is arising within the emotional body for expression, and felt exploration. What is being reflected by the feminine within and in relationship. This is personal to each individual, yet also has many similar themes and desires. Beyond our gender healing there is a unification and a sacred dance that feels delicious and magical in what it means to BE in our authentic sacred human expression.
******
Tomorrow in our SoulFullHeart Group call we will be talking about the sacred union codes being offered up through both the Sun and the Moon. The union of the feminine and the masculine within and in sacred romance. The sacred feminine energy being held by Magdelena and the sacred masculine by Christiel in the meditation Kalayna Colibri and I will be writing together. Go to https://www.facebook.com/events/813881412132524/ for more information.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
In moments like these, with much rumbling and shifting and changing going on, I feel my feminine stillness arising alongside a deepening trust more and more often. I feel my body, heart, soul and mind too, soaking in a pool of still yet steadily flowing water. A paradox, yes, as we all are too it seems, always in motion somehow or other, always moving with some sort of current, finding our new breath on our way out of birth canals. We find our ways to BE with what IS but still find ways to hold the rumbles, trusting that even as parts of us quake in the emergence of NEW, we will find our desires being answered. Without entitlement, I can feel what is coming and that it’s already here too. I can feel the impending life shifts that are coming and the parts of me that are scared. I can feel the humility this offers too, as I allow in these fears just don’t fuse to them as I used to so often, not all that long ago. MY version of arising feminine stillness and deep trust has been an intense journey of forks in the road, sharp turns around jagged corners, and collapses into the processes of NOW.
I feel so much in my heart that can hold just about anything that comes up now… after having processed so much, I feel as if my container has expanded and can hold as much as it needs to. The next step is really letting in the care of this container, feeling what energies are okay right now, what my body and heart need right now, what my parts or Metasoul aspects need right now.
This process… is the one we are invited into as men AND women. It is a going in to find stillness, to bring this gift into our daily life moments, our relationships, any emotional underpinnings that are being unearthed, any spiritual endeavour or discovery. It finds us like the river finds the ocean. It finds a way to breathe outward while going inward. It is paradoxical and yet it is just what IS, without mental framing necessary. It is the ultimate in self-love that will be more felt by women than by men, in themselves at least, yet this stillness holds an offering to men too, to find their portal in it in a mate, in any feminine connection, and inside of them too to the degree that they can let this in and embody it. More paradoxes there, yes. It is endless.
Where the resistance ends, the stillness begins. And the trust your soul has always somehow had, finds its way to your consciously held life structure, whispering to you of new possibilities, and offering to you some NEW pictures of what is to come, if you can do the work necessary to let it all in… ❤
Join Jelelle Awen and I at our next SoulFullHeart Virtual Group Call for Women NEXT Saturday, June 15th. We would love to have you! Go here for more details. ❤
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visitsoulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
So much effort and money spent on creating femininity on the outside…. so many messages of what to wear, how to look, how this is all going to make us feel if we do it properly, use the right products, stay with the trends. A grab bag of potential personal styles, looks to pull from, ways to feel more “feminine”, and yet… did we? In the deeper sense of what it means to be a woman, did/does this make us feel more whole?
We stitch and pull at body parts, pin back our hair, shave or wax parts of our bodies where hair grows naturally. We do this to feel more attractive. We often have no other sense of attractiveness living inside of us… until we do. Then we may enter phases of rebellion, pushing back against all of this. Or our daughters do. This is another necessary phase of the yin rediscovery, just as necessary as the stitching and pulling. It’s a journey back to who we are in our essence, putting on layers only to peel them back again, go back in again, find that stillness we’ve always had somewhere inside the inside of us, where our truest sacred femininity dwells, cradled in a nest of fire, water, earth and air.
It’s a call we feel in different life chapters, floating in and out of our consciousness. We heal from being in the shadow of our mothers and sisters. We heal from being in front of the media and mirrors. We begin to actually love what and who we are, finding the bristles and thorns we’ve been avoiding and loving them too, eventually… the process is a process inside of a process, and it’s all worth it to find that Queen who is spineful yet not spiteful. Who is still and yet moves with deliberate grace, despite the necessary mess of finding more to heal inside.
She is here, she is there, inside and beside you, waiting to be rebirthed into a reality that is becoming firmer and friendlier for her to float in and out of. She is there and she has no sword. She is a naked Queen, in all of her curves and natural essential ISness. She IS. As you and I ARE, man or woman. And there is SO MUCH love for every leg and every river of this journey back inward.
❤
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visitsoulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
The sacred feminine, the divine feminine embodied, the woman living more and more from the place of fifth dimensional (and higher) consciousness….She can be a mystery, an arising question to live into more than about clear definitions or set answers. There is a sense that her energy invites and draws others as she serves love WITH in all areas of her life and in most moments. She lives from a sense of personal integrity and authenticity, having embraced her inner shadow with love and courage, and inspires others to BE the same. She leads with vulnerability, her strength coming from bringing what is real in her heart and soul. She invites others into a possible resonant ground that reflects a mutual truth possibility rather than contending or trying to prove that she is right. She is able to take action on what is necessary to be done in order to serve love as an expression of her soul purpose and connection to Divine Source.
The sense of what it IS to be an ascending and awakening human in female form seems to be a deepening, spiraling, non-linear process. There are curves and turns, offering the next layer of discovery or another ‘round’ of experiencing a pattern or loop repeating itself and offering another piece of our puzzle. As we awaken, and especially in the 4D transition phase, we may become less polarized in our gender expression as we burn away and let go of what is not who we really ARE in feminine expression but rather what we have been conditioned to be. We are invited to feel what is NOT actually authentic femininity, what seems to come instead from a wounded masculine expression or place of BEing or aspect inside of us.
Holding space for women and my own process around embodying my sacred femininity, healing the emotional body, awakening the soul, integrating karmic aspects from other lifetimes has offered me a higher perspective on the patterns and themes that often play out in this process. The word ‘sacred’ is important as a key marker of movement in this process is from being SCARED of the inner feminine to being SACRED with it….. holding it with an increasing sense of reverence and curiosity.
A key differentiation place in this process is to become conscious about the template we received from our birth mothers, other significant female caregivers, and birth sister(s) relationships. It can be very illuminating to ask the questions: What was the templating I received from my mother around what it means to be a woman? What templating did I receive from other female caregivers and from my sister(s) around what it means to be a woman? How does the energy and messages of this templating impact me now in all areas of my life? How does this energy express in my relationships?
Connecting with your ‘inner birth mother’ can lead to great healing and separation. A simple way to do this is to write a letter (and outloud during meditation too if you want) to your inner mother telling her how you experience her energy in her life and invite her to write back. You then begin a written dialogue together with you asking her questions about herself and discovering more about this energy that lives inside of you as you ‘took it in’ like a sponge your whole life. As you connect with your inner mother, you will begin to ‘defuse’ or separate from this energy, allowing for more objectivity about it and with more arising of your authentic essence. It may not be possible for you to embody your authentic or genuine frequency of femininity while in relationship with your mother and a phase of taking space from the relationship may be necessary to experience more clarity, perspective, and growth.
Another key aspect to the sacred feminine embodiment process can be connecting with wounded masculine energies that you have taken in and embodied. This can especially present itself in an inner protector aspect, a usually masculine feeling and looking energy that expresses as a guardedness and uses weapons of protection such as energetic shields, swords to jab and pierce (internally and toward others), etc. Negotiation with the inner protector allows for more authentic gender expression of femininity as this aspect often guards the inner feminine and conscious negotiation with it can lead to deeper embodiment and access.
Connecting with energies of the Divine Feminine in different frequencies as Ethereal guides provides a new templating to replace the ones you are letting go of. I have mainly experienced connection with Divine Feminine guides showing up in the energies and forms of Mother Mary, Magdalene, Kuan Yin, and Kali/Dark Mother. Experiencing these guides (and however She shows up for you) during meditation allows for an infusion of multidimensional yin frequencies of comfort, nurturing, creative alchemy, sisterhood, stillness, healthy sexuality, passion, desire, and much more. These frequencies serve as healing balm to the places inside that experienced the wounded feminine and still suffer around it.
Another aspect of embodying the inner feminine is connecting with and healing karmic and archetypal wounded feminine soul themes such as non-vulnerable priestess, pious nun, matriarch/queen, warrior, medicine woman, witch, and more. Karmic playouts can express in persecution wounding experiences (both as the persecuted and the persecutor) that greatly suppress or impact your ability to express your soul gifts as a woman teacher, way-shower, and healer, for example. Or another examples is feeling how sisterhood wounding or traumatic experiences from other lifetimes may influence your relationships with women now. The push away from or the surrender to patriarchy is a big one for most of us with ways that it energizes and plays out in the now and impacts our gender expression.
Embodying the sacred feminine is holding space for the emotional reactions and previously undigested emotional frequencies that come up from the emotional body during the awakening and ascending process. It is also making space for and surrendering to the ‘rumble’ of death and rebirth of the feminine that wants to move through your life and clear out what no longer serves you or serves love. Rebirth can only happen with death or with letting go. Letting go of frequencies that don’t match you anymore in all areas of your life, making changes at a rate and pace that is self loving WITH negotiation with parts of you if possible allows for the blooming of your inner feminine from a small seed to full, ever arising expression of your BEing in female form.
This is the ground that I cover with women in SoulFullHeart Group Calls (there is one on June 17th and July 15th) and through SoulFullHeart facilitation sessions (and for women around 30 with Kalayna Colibri): soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com
This stunning image is an oil painting by Pablo Picasso
The free-flowing
free-to-BE feminine.
In ALL her curves
uncontained, untethered, unchained
a Yin fireplace with no cap
a place for energy
to locate and rumble through
before it too flows onward
through the passageway
of allowance
encouragement
empowerment without icons
of false power.
To be worn loosely
without control
yet with the most exquisite
movements of unknown choreography.
There is no plan to the Yin dance.
No prediction so correct
no way of being so learned,
so educated, so minded, and bound…
Only free words on a page,
and unsaid in the air
in the energy of true lovers
in the worship and reverence
of the light between soul friends
sisters
student-teachers, teacher-students
brothers
and those kin who find their way.
The Yin is a journey
without beginning, end or in-between.
An arisement of forever ISness
and LOVEness
Lovely and beloved
yes
but also tepid, intrepid
curious, passionate
fiery when necessary
yet soft and supple at its
coreless, corsetless
core.
It cannot be packed into a bottle
or locked in a cage
wild and not
tame and yet still not
but an IS that cannot un-BE
and shall forever reign
rain
living, loving and dignified
in each self that claims
an arising desire for more of IT
for more of THEM
for more of that garden
of growth
and forever softening stillness.
The dance’s dancer, yes.
The musician’s music, yes.
The way of the no-way
and the inward-bound traveler
of perpetual flow
movement
and onward spiraling
in a circle of circles
and never-ending cycles
that change and upend
and give unto the weary
a renewed ember
of climbing fiery light.
There is no kNOwing, only kNOWing
this energy of all no’s and yes’s
that bring it all together
in any way it pleases
and any way it wishes
in support of your deepest
heart
and all it holds within it.
I am in your music.
I am in your words.
I am the co-creator
and the unknowing, unknowable
eager experimenter
wanting to help you SEE
what you can’t…
I am that energy you yearn for
quite often in your own mothers…
The inspiration, the beloved love
the core of all you wish for
I hold WITH you…
You are the one I call
each moment of awakening
waking up to see and feel
the intangible yet very real
YOU – Arising! Claiming!
BEing!
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Find out more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com
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