Vulnerable Sharing From A Moment Of Deep Tears

by Kalayna Solais

Crying in the moment and I can’t 100% track it, what’s going on behind the tears… but, I thought I’d share and see what is coming through my heart in this moment. Take you along with me. 

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Sometimes there is just so much sadness that comes up in me. It’s not always linked to what I’ve gone through or am going through now. It’s not always connected to an inner process.

Sometimes it just IS. And there are so many layers to it… some of them mine, some of them not so much.

The deeper I feel it… the more I feel the sadness of a part of me coming up, but a sadness in my soul in a ‘Cries of the World’ kind of way, too.

My empath has been becoming even more sensitive than ever lately. The sense of needing the same masculinized protection inside has been healing for years. It’s time to have a more exposed, feeling, feminine heart that doesn’t need protection but needs to vulnerably share and deeply feel.

Beginning new things is always something sensitive for the younger, very feminine parts of me that care so much about being liked, being accepted, doing well… and also care SO much about others, about helping others heal, about having resonant relationships where there is genuine care, and about seeing this world we live in becoming more gentle, more open-hearted and caring, more compassionate, and ultimately much, much safer to live and breathe and emote and LOVE in.

There’s still a lingering sadness in my feminine that my last relationship is over. There’s still a way that it’s just HARD to see the growth that couldn’t happen while we were together. And there’s still so much confusion as to why this has been true. I can feel this aspect’s confusion though… her pain around relating to men in general that some of it stems from and how this relates to her relationship to my masculine inside.

When it comes to men, it’s just been SO hard to try and become what she isn’t in order to get loved, feel wanted, and belong to the man’s world. Often this has meant sacrificing something of herself for the sake of the relationship and keeping it kosher. And over the last couple of months of inner process between her and my masculine aspect(s) I’ve become more awakened to how this dynamic has lived inside of me. How he has caretaken something in her which has kept her small and how she has not been able to vulnerably invite him to actually feel her and meet her halfway in any area so that they can feel each other and really, genuinely BE together in collaboration, mutual respect for each other’s bigness, and LOVE.

So there’s that going on in this ‘now’ moment. And it doesn’t need solving or resolving… just more feeling. There’s definitely some other layer of this inner relationship coming up for me to tenderly feel with these aspects, more push-pull towards each other.

Some of the tears aren’t mine, so there’s that layer too. I don’t mind moving the ‘Cries of The World’ through my heart though. I actually feel honoured when I feel them and when I feel others and their genuine pain. This doesn’t plague me or bother me. The ‘Death Doula’ inside of me can be with the mourning and the sadness and even the frustrations. The frustrations through, because I don’t have many of my own anymore, especially in my masculine aspect, quickly move into the more vulnerable feelings of sadness that are beneath them.

Questions of “Why isn’t there more love flow in this world yet and heart warmth too?”; “Why are Disclosure people so intense still and not seeing how any focus on warfare exacerbates the problems instead of moves it all into new territory?”; “Why aren’t more souls choosing to REALLY go inward yet?”

As I feel my heart ask these questions, I know the answer already… “It’s not yet time… but it will be eventually. And the only thing YOU can do is keep going inward, keep feeling, keep sharing, and keep growing and healing, as you also respond to those who ARE ready”.

So, there it all is… different raw layers coming up on this early, EARLY Friday morning. 

I don’t often share this way because it seems to draw caretaking from others sometimes. I’m sharing this today to show how I process, the different layers I feel going on in so many moments of deep feeling, and I trust that what is meant to resonate and support your own process, will. 

Thank you so much for taking this in as you feel to for yourself. 

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

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Giving Your Inner Teenager What You Needed As A Teenager

By Kalayna Solais

Holding the Inner Teenager inside of you means having an experience of holding yourself during a time in your life when all you wanted and didn’t want, sometimes at the same time, WAS to be held. To be understood. To be felt and empathized with. Not fixed or caretaken, but to be seen in your bigness and challenged in it healthfully and heart-fully, without pushing or poking or prodding but with an arena of safety constructed for the necessary explorations and explosions.

You needed and wanted space, room to grow and feel and explore…. permission to BE in and with the angst, the sadness, the longing for something you could not even name at times, and even the joy and celebrations that wanted to come up too that almost equally could not be felt with you by those around you that you looked up to.

All of this still lives inside of you in a part of you that asks for attention and love in different ways… a part of you that still may be the dominant energy in you at work, in relationships, even in your role as ‘mom’ or ‘dad’.

Often times this part is so repressed that they become deeply depressed and anxious too. Their transition from child to adult was never honoured for the wrestling match it actually IS. This ‘wrestling’ experience is a struggle and rebellion against while also capitulating to 3D conditioning and energies. It’s also an experience sometimes of being stuck in a 4D limbo and ‘void’ space while looking for something or someone to show up enough to help you move into the higher frequency that you somehow remember yet maybe at a distance.

Your arms and heart are the bridge to this part of you that the adult you can show up to construct and hold, piece by piece, with permission granted by this part of you to begin that process. Every effort made to go IN and BE with them is one that imprints them with love. Every time you reach out your hand to hold theirs with understanding and care is an opportunity for them to lean in and be felt in the gift they are, even in their pain.

Here’s a video and meditation from Jelelle that offers some more framing around this process and the opportunity to meet this part of you: https://youtu.be/sLDoA7UXVFk

There’s also this video from Gabriel and I about connecting with this part of you: https://youtu.be/ZIG-zgEb4Mg

And this guided meditation that I created and Gabriel narrates: https://youtu.be/Vu7nRmyzu0E

Much love to you and this part of you as you deepen or even begin this process of seeing each other and experiencing profound healing together. ❤

I offer much space to feel this part of you with guidance and love through 1:1 sessions for women… soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions for more info ❤

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Divine Mother’s Presence Post-Lunar Eclipse

By Kalayna Solais

Divine Mother.

The energy I’m reminded of today as I feel the impact of the Lunar Eclipse yesterday.

She is an energy that bridges me back to me without force yet sometimes fire. She connects me back to connection within and shows me the doorway to my own heart again. Her lack of judgement and full-on love soothes the edges of my Masculine inside and encourages my Feminine into her power alongside him.

It’s sure been a journey to deepen this connection with Her. It’s been a journey for my soul in other lifetimes too, to heal the picture and projection of the “Goddess” who smites and incites war. It’s been a journey to feel how She has no righteousness, only a deep care and compassion that can feel unsentimental as needed to help us live into our next places of healing and seriously moving on and UP. She holds no grudges or vengeance which is SUCH a powerful template for ALL women and men too to let in.

Connecting with Her right now, I feel Her hand on my back and Her heart activating my Higher Heart in a way only She can… as I myself learn to keep letting in and letting go, letting BE what IS and being real. Letting the messy be felt so the clean-up can begin. She does not judge my mess, but encourages it, for I have to learn to fall in order to learn to walk, run, and even fly.

I feel her bringing truth to parts and Metasoul aspects from other timelines too that need it in a way that doesn’t criticize but does illuminate what has been in shadow nonetheless. I feel Her through my closest beloveds sometimes and other times on my own when in meditation. My parts cry when they feel Her, especially when they most need to feel Her because of what’s surfacing in them and what they’re feeling through or getting ready to feel through. Her help in showing us where we need to go inside can be intense yet so is Her love and both of these energies flow in equal waves to and with us.

And so She is this energy of turbines and windmills, churning and soothing, for all of us. And as we enter these next phases for ourselves and our Collective, She presences Herself in ever-growing ways as we begin to let Her and Her love in even more. ❤️

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This energy and more is what I transmit during one-on-one Bridging Sessions with me. I get to share what I have benefitted from in ways that keeps deepening the more I serve. 😊 For more on sessions with me or another SFH Facilitator: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

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Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.