Being With Your Inner Masculine As A Woman

by Kalayna Colibri

I wrote a digestion a few days back of the incoming energies really working the wounded masculine – helping us to see it within ourselves, others, the world around us, and in so doing, to help us start to see the emerging Sacred Masculine, which we cannot really start to feel until we can feel what it is NOT first… as always, starting within.

I’ve actually been working with my Inner Masculine for a few years now as part of my process on the SoulFullHeart path. “He” has had many forms – Inner Protector, Gatekeeper (4D protector of your soul, especially your Metasoul Aspects), Inner Father, Inner Punisher, and all in all, my Inner Mate. all in different waves, layers and expressions, all with different names and frequencies too. Nowadays he goes by the name of “Malcolm” and together we are feeling through what feel like some lingering and perhaps finally completing tendrils and ties to 3D reality, which he has held as so dear for so long, and for many valuable reasons.

As a woman, it feels so incredibly important to acknowledge, deeply feel, and profoundly honour the Inner Masculine within, as they are as much a part of what makes up the remaining patriarchal and wounded masculine frequencies and realities in our current world and widespread reality, both within and outside of us. We have as much responsibility to feel these frequencies within as men do… and this world we are experiencing and wanting to deconstruct in order to rebuild into New Earth, is one we, as parts of us, have co-created.

Today I chose to spend a magical and unfolding afternoon with Malcolm, as it was his wish to do this with me… to have some dedicated “us” time where we can feel each other and feel our relationship start to move into higher vibrations together. He waxed metaphysical as we sat in a local (very Mexican, very sweet!) coffee shop and journaled together. I will share our dialogue together, as it offers you a bridge into being with a part of you, and a way in which to be with your own Inner Masculine (as a man or woman!).

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Malcolm: I like this place, Kalayna… A/C would be nice, but it’s good…. Coffee is good, new environment is good… can’t get too congested and busy in here because it’s so small, AND they speak English really well! It’s sweet… and it’s nice to not have to hold Spanish with you right now.

Kalayna: Right? And after all that notebook hunting, looking for a small one to fit into a purse, we still ended up with more stuff than will (really) fit in my purse. Hilarious!

M: I know… oh well… I have to get used to letting go of agendas and pictures… or at least any attachment to them.

K: Yes, well, that will come… is here already, actually. You are doing it, little by little.

M: Yes. I’m letting that (and you) in!

I’m sorry I can be such an ass sometimes…
K: It’s OK, Malcolm. That isn’t very common now… you are not an ‘ass’, my friend. You are protective sometimes maybe, but nothing more than that.

M: Thank you… I do feel like I am changing. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how much I can change actually and AM being invited to change, which really in my case means letting go more than anything else.

K: What does ‘letting go’ mean to you?

M: Oof… well, control. Letting go of control or any attempt at it. God, THAT alone causes so much stress, because life IS out of control… YOU are out of control.

K: I am? 🙂

M: Ummmm, well, your growth is, yes! Your destiny is, yes!

K: What do you feel about ‘destiny’, Malcolm?

M: I feel like it is a fixed star always on the horizon. Just, I don’t know, the highest point of your highest timeline… where maybe someone may not get to in one particular timeline, but eventually their soul will get there. OK, I am waxing metaphysical right now!

K: Please go on! I love it!

M: (blushing a little) OK… I will continue.

What if “destiny” isn’t a carrot held by Divine forces, but is instead an inevitability? And what if maybe the destiny, the Grand Destiny, if you will, is really just an ultimate return to love, but with ALL of the growth, changes and trajectories you’ve inhabited left intact. A “return to Source” in a way, but as the mosaic piece you ARE becoming fully carved out and painted in your soul’s unique energies and colours? I get the sense that humans are unique beings because they have and ARE uniqueness… I don’t know. It’s that Conscious Duality piece again, it seems (side note: more on Conscious Duality on our blog, if you’re curious).

K: Yes, wow, that actually opens something up in my heart. Thank you, Malcolm.

M: Yeah… it feels good and purposeful and interesting…. We came from love and unto love we shall return… with significance, not pride or arrogance. Yet significance. And reverence for ALL… wow… Juicy!

K: Sure is! 🙂

M: Thank you for this today, Kalayna.

K: You’re so welcome, Malcolm. More of this to come, sometimes with Gabriel too! 😀 And of course our other beloveds too… with more beloveds to come soon.

M: Yes! I would like that…

K: Me too. 

~

The pictures accompanying this post are from today! Me at the coffee shop (you can sort of see/feel Malcolm in my field), some goodies well-enjoyed, and the beautiful sun codes we took in together too. 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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Filling Up And Serving From The Love-Well Within

by Kalayna Colibri

to love fully 2

To love fully, we must be self-filled, not self-less… this can a hard one to wrap our heads and hearts around, as parts of us tend to be very conditioned to the idea that in order love someone ‘the right way’, this often means sacrificing or over-compromising on many things, including but not limited to, our sense of spirituality, our emotional reality, our lifestyle, etc. It often means that parts of us have been OK with ‘shrinking to fit’ in order to maintain certain relationships, even if these relationships aren’t deeply resonant or nourishing, leaving us feeling drained, depressed, maybe even very ill.

Our 3D selves, often made up of many different parts of us, like our Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father (or Matriarch/Patriarch), Inner Punisher, and Inner Protector, seem to have a way of expressing ‘love’ that often compromises even their own deeply held beliefs and feelings. Love then becomes a game of disowning and dishonoring our authentic emotional reality for the sake of others as well as being very self-sacrificial and often martyrs, too. Over-giving becomes the norm and choosing YOU over anyone else becomes a ground for self-punishment and beratement instead of a feeling of needing to fill up the inner love-tank so that you only have MORE to give and receive, too. Chances are that if you are wired-up to live in this more outbound way, you often find yourself drained energetically, emotionally and even spiritually.

I hear many empaths staking the claim that everyone around them ‘drains’ them, painting a picture that their gift of being empathic is actually a burden, which it can certainly feel like to parts of us, especially while this dynamic of over-giving to others and under-giving to yourself is going on. The truth that I have felt and experienced, is that our need to go within is a strong one that shows itself in so many ways… and that the gift of being here to serve love means serving from an overflow of SELF love; a steady stream created within by the waters of self care and creating a sacred space for yourself, your parts, your Metasoul Aspects to land in.

Taking the space necessary in order to find this deep inner overflow is tricky while surrounded by others who do not value this space for themselves. The love we have and want to offer each other will always be there in some form, yet without space to feel and BE in our own hearts and healing processes, means that we are serving water from a dry or drying-out well that needs replenishment which must start from within. It is as important to be with ourselves as it is to be surrounded by others who offer nourishment on all levels of being and in all areas of our lives and that want to support us in taking care of us as well as being supportive towards them.

This felt like an important point to share today, especially as Gabriel Heartman and I have been digesting and sharing a lot about the social area of life in our vlog series, Practical Ascension. If you are curious to take in more about our experience of healing in this area of life and what we offer through the SoulFullHeart lens, you can find our videos on Youtube on the SoulFullHeart Experience channel and on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

Filling up within can be one of the hardest things to imagine doing for different parts of us, depending on the configuration of our lives, yet it is so important, especially during these times of intense awakenings and upgrades happening on all levels and the increasing depth of our own Ascension processes! Nothing draws the relationships with others that we truly desire, more than being willing to say ‘no’ when necessary, to say ‘yes’ when it feels nourishing and alive, and to find a relationship with ourselves that is truly loving, unconditional and infinite.  ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Energies Invite You To Open Up The ‘Love’ Spaces In Your Life

by Kalayna Colibri

by Bhaskar655 On Deviantart

Opening up spaces… this is always our choice, how much space we want to take or give… be in or offer. So much can take up ‘space’, including parts of us that need us, relationships to people or anything really, space in our living spaces and even our bodies. In a way, there can never really be ’empty’ spaces, only pregnant pauses, as each moment of what seems or feels to parts of you like ‘nothing’ is actually chock-full of something.

We are being invited to open up more space, allow more air in, widen the aperture, lengthen and strengthen the opportunity for MORE to come in, to fill us up in more spacious ways… no more cramping or cramming or cutting to fit. No more agony as parts of us twist themselves into human pretzels in order to fit into small, very specific expectations of culture, birth family, friendships, romances. Belonging fully to the self and finding a you-shaped space in the collective too in a healthy way, that allows still for air, breathing, BEing, envisioning, loving. And then, draws the relationships that fit and support this… to food, to soul family, to a Sacred Union mate/mates.

Yoga or other physical practices that extend beyond a self-image based focus on the body, invite more space into the body for the movement, healing, upgrading that is necessary and imminent. Consuming foods that support high vibrations of more light, love and air to enter and live in the body, is a way to nourish the spaces and indeed, create more space within the body. Meditation offers space for the parts that are stuck in the mind, in 3D and sometimes lower 4D churnings of trying to ‘figure it all out’. Breathing into your life, making space for money-making that doesn’t stress, strain or harm you or parts of you in any way, allowing for realization and development of your true soul-purpose path while having the space to go inward and continue healing… which is what truly brings it about and draws those who you need to serve and support into your life as well as who you need to support and reflect you to you in the interest of your own ongoing healing path.

Space within your heart is what is created when you choose feeling and BEing over doing. You create the space to feel and be with parts and Metasoul aspects of you so that you can then have and offer more space to others. This creates more space within your soul too, and allows for more conscious creation and being able to draw timelines you most desire.

‘Love heart, Love body, Love mind, Love soul, Love life’, as I have taken to saying recently. All the Love you need, all of the time, in ALL ways, coming from ALL of YOU. INspiring love, calling it into the spaces and crevices claimed and felt. Not consciously creating this space for yourself and your parts and Metasoul Aspects too asks life to create it for you, and often this can manifest in ways that are less than favorable. Life will press you back inward, as the ultimate facilitator of your healing. Life is love and love is life, and love wants you to have more love, be more love, serve more love WITH love. It has its own agenda, as does your soul, and your soul, like a magnet, wants to help you and every part of you, return to Love consciousness again.

Breathe into the spaces for more you to grow, see what’s there and what’s waiting for you while you are in the process of discovering and uncovering the you that you’re meant to BE. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Your Essence And Inner Love Sanctuary

by Kalayna Colibri

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There is a sanctuary inside of you. There is an essence there that cannot be lost. There is a treasure of heart, that has been protected for so long, by a part of you that feels this is the only way to ‘get through’ life. This can express as transcendence, as much as it can express as bitterness and withdraw. The sanctuary that holds the glowing orb of precious love-essence is a peaceful and aerated place, yet no-place… unless the inner protection has built a fortress around it, keeping it within confines of hard walls and impermeable energy structures too, giving it a ‘place’ instead of letting it flow and move throughout your being.

Structures of constructed ideas of ‘this is what love is’ have taken over like thorny vines. Love has become something different than what it is as it lives and breathes inside of you and inside of your life. Protection has taken over in different ways and forms… your Inner Protector has forgotten that real love needs no walls to hold it or keep it from harm. It is meant to flow, to illuminate, to permeate, to aerate. It is here to not be held down, but to move up and take us with it.

Your inner sanctuary is accessed through the portal of your heart, beyond yet with the mind as it needs and wants to be present, until that time when it can rest. It is there and you are getting closer to it, finding ways to dwell within it and be in life and the world too. It is a place of being and stillness. It is there, always, and the more you feel your parts that are afraid of it, afraid of its power, or afraid harm will come to it, the more access you will have to it in every moment. ❤


This Sunday Oct. 29, there will be a live stream hosted by Raphael and Jelelle Awen on Facebook and Youtube! Hope to have you join us… https://www.facebook.com/events/207249746478167

If you are curious to learn more about the SoulFullHeart Way of Life and process, you can visit: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sfhprocess for more information and to feel into having a free 30min intro call.

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Weathering The ‘Perfect Storms’ Of Life

by Kalayna Colibri

 

heart storm

 

The perfect life conditions offer us the ‘perfect storm’ to feel what we need to feel.

Parts of us pop-up like pop tarts in a hot toaster, when life offers us the right circumstances, the necessary temperature, for them to come up and out. If parts aren’t ready to ask for you to feel them, you won’t be able to tap into their reality. It’s like waiting for apples to ripen on the tree before you can pick them. A premature picking of unripe fruit does not encourage the digestive system to flow. So too with the digestive system in your emotional body…

This perfect storm of emotional reactions surfacing that were once well-buried or ‘handled’ differently (or not at all), are a tidal wave that can feel like overwhelm and craziness, yet sooner than you realize you wash ashore on a new beach, where you feel and meet a NEW you and feel more joy than before, more settled inside of yourself than before, though your heart may still feel raw for a time. It’s a process of becoming BIGGER than the fears and the resistances, by going through them, feeling them, being with them, not BEING them or all-out transcending them.

You couldn’t have come here to this place of intense feeling inside of you without life lining up the path for it. Even when you feel knocked off balance and like everything is akimbo, this is actually the perfect gift to get to know something deeper inside of yourself, to love yourself more on the other side of deep-seated tension and reactivity. There is a trust that is built inside of you, that can weather these storms and in fact may jump wholeheartedly into them, trusting where they are taking you next.

During these intense waves of feeling as if we aren’t in control, that something or someone else is driving the bus, you might want to write it off as an ‘entity’ or it being imposed on you by ‘bad energies’ or ‘Archons. It’s not that these things and beings and energies don’t exist, but they can be used by parts of you as a scapegoat for something you need to take responsibility for inside of you and something that actually wants and needs you to go IN and feel what’s going on on the inside, not on the outside…

Life’s ‘perfect storms’ rock the boat in a huge, impactful way, and yet even when parts may feel shipwrecked, it really is just another path to your ultimate wholeness and healing and your triumphant return to the love that you are. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.