self-love – Page 13 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

The Rise And Balance Of the Mental Body During The Equinox

Published on March 12, 2019March 18, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

I think therefore I am.

This was an invitation to go beyond what we “knew” about the world around us and dive into the world that resides within us. A philosopher’s creed. There was so much to think about in regards to the nature of existence and our place within it as humans. This heightened sense of cognition and curiosity led to so many discoveries in the mathematics of life. Pythagoras finding God in geometry. The inevitable rise of knowledge leading to power.

A mental grid blanket formed over the heart. Efficiency, productivity, invention, and progress became the engine of modern civilized industrialization. The masculine drive lost touch with its counterpart of intuition, cooperation, trust, kindness, and decency. It is not they do not exist, but they do struggle to find balance and a place at the table of humanity.

Even religion and spirituality can have its mental overlays that keep it “out there” rather than right “in here”. In the heart. In the now. It is not an attack on the mind, but rather a much needed and desired relationship to it. The unbalanced and unfelt masculine has been at war with itself and the world around it.

There is a sacred energetic poultice that is occurring here on Gaia during this Equinox. This mentalized and scared sacred part of ourselves is coming to the surface to be loved. To be felt in its protection, in its need for control, and its fear. This part has a lot of discernment and can be very unsentimental which is needed in certain situations. But it can be at the sacrifice of something quite innocent and tender inside of us.

This “mental body” has a name and a story. It has a deep purpose as a guide and a manifestor. It can be an Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Matriarch/Patriarch. Yet, when left unfelt it can create blocks to our emotional and spiritual bodies.

Raphael Awen and I will be discussing this (with both heart and mind) in our next Sacred Masculine video. We will seek to connect to this part of us to feel what it has to say about all the doing and thinking that has kept many of us from truly feeling and experiencing the kind of joy and expanded consciousness that is right there waiting for us to embody and experience beyond the mind.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Sacred Romance; Sacred Ceremony

Published on March 11, 2019 by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Wow.

What a magical day it was yesterday. The weather could not have been more ideal (well, maybe a tad warmer, but not complaining!). Jelelle and my daughter Raianna wove a stunning tapestry of love for the ceremony with decor and an altar in honor of our Usness. Jelelle’s holding of the space was truly beyond words. Her words invited depth and spirit and could feel the multitude of being and lifetimes in the room with us.

Kalayna was just stunning in her dress and radiated and glowed with the love she came into this world with. I felt rather dapper in my thrift store finds (in full disclosure). We carried the love to the ocean where we felt The Divine grace us with jubilance and fanfare. Raphael spoke eloquently of feeling the mourning as well as the celebration which lets in the poignancy of the sacred moment. We commit ourselves not to its length but to its depth.

We were joined by a new friend to our intimate circle, Annie, as a heart and soul presence that so sweetly took in and reflected our love. Raianna brought us to tears with her words and guitar playing.

We are so blessed with everyone’s love and well-wishes in this new phase in our growth and service of love. We look forward to serving its overflow to the individual and the collective.

Much love back at you all,

Gabriel & Kalayna Solais (pronounced So-lay-is)

It is pronounced Solish in Irish/Scottish but we felt to be phonetic as it is easier. It means light and soul.

*****

Addiction As A Portal Into The Heart And Soul

Published on March 4, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

“What is gripping you as an addiction is actually a profound invitation and portal into what your heart and soul came here to learn.” – words from my teacher and partner Raphael Awen this morning.

Addiction is something anyone can be struggling with regardless of spiritual awareness. It is actually a portal INTO your spirituality that addiction can take you. At the root of this painful loop, is a feeling, an experience, a part of you that is in deep need to be felt. They can range from an inner protector/punisher, inner mother/father, teenager, child, or multidimensional self that is struggling to be and resonate in this dimension of existence.

For men, these addictions can range from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, pornography, over-working, sex, unhealthy relationship, politics, news, depression, anxiety and even things that are intended to be positive such as spirituality itself. For women it can be closely related yet with differences. It is not the thing one is addicted to that is at question, but rather the relationship we have to it.

What is it that lies under the need for the thing itself? What is it that it is so very much wanting us to steer clear of? By accessing the inner world of parts can you then feel the one that is using the addiction as a safety net, or in many cases an blowhorn for your attention.

YOU are not the addiction. When one can find space between himself and the part that is addicted a whole consciousness comes into view that can lead to a healing relationship that is internally generated and held with support along the way. This part can begin the journey of receiving its needs through YOU, the centered heart, and not the object of the addiction. It can receive Love from the Divine and other spirits through this channel of You.

It is an ongoing and sometimes difficult journey that can only start with one question that leads to feeling. What is it that you need that you are not getting from the inside?

Raphael and I will be discussing this topic in our next sacred masculine live stream this Wednesday. Time to be announced, but it will be in the afternoon Pacific Time. The recording will be shared on our feeds and on our SoulFullHeart Experience channel. We are looking forward to hearing from many of you who are moving, or have moved through difficult addictions.

*****

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Boys Will Be Boys…And Sensitive Too!

Published on February 15, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

This is a question that was asked in response to my recent post about my engagement to Kalayna:

¨I am wondering if uncovering the sensual/sensitive part of the masculine is a deepening in your masculinity and if it is asking you to be more feminine than you are comfortable with?”

This was a very intriguing question to me and one that I feel is a part of any man’s sacred human journey. This journey is an exploration, uncovering, and integration of both poles of our being. These energies are a part of our Divine nature and in search of a dance of balance.

As a boy and young man growing up, I always felt different than many of my other friends when it came to such things as playing sports, construction, conflict, and girls to name a few. My emotional body just seemed different too. A bit more sensitive and was attributed to me being more of a mama’s boy rather than seeing it as a closer relationship to my feminine. So in a way, the sensitive side of my masculinity was always there, just not recognized as such.

As I am connecting more with a feminine part of me, I am beginning to see where she was always trying to be ‘one of the guys’ while not really feeling comfortable with it as it approached the more shadow edges of masculinity. (I prefer not to use the term ‘toxic masculinity’ as that seems to undermine and judge this part of us as bad or unwanted. More on that in a future post). Yet, to ‘fit in’ I assumed many conditioned behaviors to adjust and be more of what was considered a culturally acceptable male.

So, there was a conflict between my traditional masculine part and my feminine part looking for a way to feel safe and authentic in the world. Until this process of differentiating between the two, the conflict was a bit maddening to both of them. Now that I have cultivated a relationship between both of them, I can begin to feel myself as a bridge to them in my daily experience.

I am learning to feel less concerned about how that femininity expresses and how it is perceived. My traditional masculine is learning to feel the gifts of the inner feminine and how much healing and beauty there is in her. My feminine is beginning to feel safer in the outward masculine leadership and the showing up as a masculine presence. There is more to activate in my masculine that I realize has been shielded by my feminine. This is what I feel leads to a deepening of both poles of my being.

Raphael and I will be addressing this and many other topics for men and spiritual ascension in upcoming videos that we hope to begin today. A woman’s perspective is also very much encouraged to give us reflection and direction as well. We look forward to taking in comments and suggestions as we explore this very important topic to both of us, and to help bridge the inner parts exploration with guided meditations.

To hear more about masculine healing check out these videos from Jelelle Awen’s 33 Day series where Raphael and I were guests:

Inner Masculine/Feminine Balance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvi_m4i1KvQ&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3&index=17&t=0s

Healing The Sacred Masculine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6ueoUK4aDo&index=30&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvLiLpw1qSOmQE-tsqhGSAD3

Photo by Michael Prewett on Unsplash

*****

The Poultice Of Love And The Fear Of Intimacy

Published on February 8, 2019February 13, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

Wow! What a response the last couple of days to our engagement. Thank you so much to everyone who left your well-wishes and congratulations.

One thing I took away from it all is that one way or another we all seek Love. Maybe there are parts that may feel despair, doubt, or indifference to it, but at our core we love Love. The only thing that gets similar reactions is anything based on Fear. So in some ways, we have parts that love Fear too. Yeah, I know, an oxymoron.

This is the sacred dance though. The two poles of our BEing that seem at odds but are just trying to reconcile each other. As we all continue to heal our Selves with Love and for the sake of Love, we enter a new relationship to Fear. Something shifts in the power structure. The deepening commitment and claim of this romance with Kalayna will certainly bring up another layer of this relationship to fear of intimacy. Deep transformational intimacy that takes us to the core of our deepest traumas and pains that can only surface from the poultice of Love.

So the collective response is saying to me, “YES! Keep going! Keep feeling the edges of this because I want this too!” or “YES! Bring more of this into the world as it adds to mine as well!”. Even if Kalayna and I don’t “make it” in the long run, we are committing ourselves to this deeper healing that has collective and personal consequences. “Success” is only determined if we feel everything we to feel and say everything we need to say while we are engaged in this marriage of Soul and Heart. We are bound by this in desire, not duty.

I feel to continue this exploration of marriage, intimacy, love, and fear through the heart of the Masculine. What is its relationship and desire to those very things? Right now it is about being centered in Heart while exploring the Soul in healing the parts of me still in shadow around intimacy with the Feminine. It is a sacred one that I accept with dedication and passion.

If you are a man or a woman with this rising desire in you, stay tuned for more. I am also available for sessions to support you along the journey of this sacred healing and letting in of Love. Thank you so much again for all the outpouring of support and love for us both. ❤

*****

Painting by Eduardo Rodriguez Calzado

Thy Queen Hath Come!: A Healing Man’s Journey Of Love

Published on February 6, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

My beloved Kalayna is going to be my wife!

Our hearts and souls have been married in this journey of Sacred Union for some time now. We began 6 years ago and in the ebbs and flows of romance and friendship, we have found ourselves in the deeper waters of claim and passion, ready for what comes next in our exploration of soul and service.

As a man, this was also about a deeper claim within myself to honor and engage The Feminine, as well as her feminine. It is also a communion of our masculines as Kalayna’s needed to trust my own in that claim. It has been a process for both of us and will continue to be.

More specifically, I am blessed and infinitely ecstatic to make this a more “official” declaration. It does more than just represent something. It intends. It intensifies. It clarifies. I am in love with a remarkable woman that has spent her life in pursuit of her biggest heart and passionate soul calling. She seeks with great courage the most authentic reflection of herself, even if that reflection is not so easily digested.

It is not through luck that we found each other, but a process of deep inner work and difficult choice points. We have been through several iterations that were no less sacred than the one we find ourselves in now. It is a Love Story. It is our story. We have had moments that were far from ideal and yet the heart and soul kept on. We have been through our suffering phases and now it is time for our Deepening.

To my beloved wife-to-be

You have been the queen, the muse, the one I couldn’t let in

You have traversed the waters and lands within

In search of your Higher Ground

In that space, you set your beacon

Your Love Light shine

The scent of your lavender soul

Wafting across the ocean of stars

Into the vulnerable and readied sails of my heart

I saw you, I see you, I need you

Like I never knew I needed you

I see me, what I am, what I can be

Through you

From you

This once-soldiered soul has found a home

A place to rest and share his heart

His love, His art, His Kingdome Come

Forever blessed, forever changed, forever in pursuit of You

I am honored to be your Husband and King

*****

The Scientist, The Sage, & The Artist: Seeking Love Through Experience And Knowledge

Published on February 1, 2019February 8, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

What did your soul come here for? Experience or Knowledge? What did you come here to experience or know?

Healing is a digestion and an integration of this experience into knowledge. I don’t mean the kind of knowledge that you find in books, but the kind that is stored in the depths of our DNA, the unconscious, and our emotional body. Our circumstances are reflections of this inner experiential knowledge data bank and what It is seeking to learn and understand.

The scientist, the sage, and the artist are intrinsically the same. There is an exploration happening. A reconciliation of an unmet need, an unanswered question, or a prolonged trauma. There is a drive to fix, transmute, understand, or transcend these. Pain is one of those aspects of experience that we try religiously to avoid until it cannot be avoided anymore due to the nature of the Souls journey.

It is hard to wrap our head around why certain people experience certain unimaginable things. It is hard because we don’t really ‘know’ what the soul is needing and wanting to learn and understand unless we get to a place where are deeply curious. This curiosity is what brings the questions that lead us on the quest.

The answers to these questions lie within you. The words of those that have traversed these depths are like guideposts along the way and can provide insight and direction. As a parts work and Metasoul healer, I assist in guiding others to aspects of themselves that hold keys that unlock doorways to places within that hold these answers. They hold the experiences of trauma, depression, anxiety, and dis-ease. By relating to them as parts, and not the totality of who you are or what you are experiencing, you create a space that can bring in context rather than drowning in the content.

The result is a new awareness of yourself as a divine creator seeking to know and experience Love, and often knowing Love is to know Pain until we don’t need it anymore. There is a world of You that you get to become privy to. I call it your YOUniverse because, yeah, you are that damn big and that damn amazing, whether parts of you want to believe it or not. Let’s go find out together.

*****

A Reflection Of Me

Published on January 22, 2019January 27, 2019 by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

Birthdays are interesting days. Parts of us have interesting reactions to them. They want to run, hide, enjoy and celebrate. From an essential point of view, every day is a birthing day. We get to arise new into our BEing and make a mark onto the world and into ourselves. We can create, learn, and grow from all our experiences and relationships.

Yet, on THIS day, third dimensionally speaking, we began a quest and a journey where we chose to forget this essential remembrance in order to find our Selves again. We demarcate a point in spacetime to reflect, appreciate, and honor life itself. For me, it is letting in time to love myself and this inner world of parts and Metasoul aspects that are a part of this healing and leading quest that I have chosen. It is also about giving thanks to those that have been an intimate and integral part of it….my beloved soul family and those that have been a part of this wild ride of ascension.

Today I am honored to be in a sacred union romance with Kalayna Colibri, who has been a beacon for my soul and heart for six years now even when we were just “friends”. She is the Queen to my King and for whom I am madly in love with. She has never ceased to call to my bigness as well as seeking her own. A part of me has called her the one he never saw coming, but somehow I knew different.

I have known Jelelle Awen for almost 30 years now, which seems to span lifetimes and dimensions. She is the one that showed me life when parts of me only saw suffering. I have died and come back to life many times from her vision and remembrance of who I am when I was too confused to do the same for myself. She is a mirror of my bigness and that frankly scares the shadow out of me! A true gift to me every single year.

In this quest of the Sacred Masculine, there has been one man by my side in this feminine offering. Raphael Awen has been a template of a father, brother, teacher, mentor, guide, and King. He has gone deep into all relationship with a courageous vulnerability that stirs the heart and defies what we as men are used to seeing from the collective and for that, I am forever changed.

My daughter, Raianna Shai, has shown me that Joy is the natural location of Soul. Her unique soul, ever since she was a wee one, has always been on a course to bring this Joy to others in the world, even when that joy has been met by heartache and challenge. She is far more than a daughter, but a teacher and a reminder of what our essence truly IS.

And then there is all of those that have been a part of this experiment and journey called SoulFullHeart. The courageous hearts and souls that have gone into the Deep and continue to do so. You are inspiring and amazing and I am honored to have you all a part of my life. I have much gratitude for all the people that have been followed my words and been touched by them. Your reflection and letting in is a daily gift to me as well as a joy and honor.

So on this day of a personal Earth birthing, I celebrate you and me together. Now let’s go eat cake on our behalf!!!

Love to you all and thank you again for all you ARE.

*****

Ascension Energies Amplify And Support Inner Masculine Healing

Published on January 18, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman3 Comments

This inner quest continues. The quest of the masculine to get to know itself. I use the pronoun “it” to denote an energy rather than a gender. This quest is fueled by curiosity and desire. Not a need to overcome, master, or fix. It wants to feel its power, its strength, and courage. It also knows there is the shadow to look at in response to that.

Recently there has been a mainstream appeal to what is being labeled as “traditional” or “toxic” masculinity and its effect on society. This is receiving praise as much as it is receiving ire. There is a masculine voice within some men that defends against a notion it is responsible for the ills of the world. It feels attacked and judged for the actions of certain individuals.

I can feel where this is true coming from a particular perspective, from this part I should say. As we are becoming more aware of what has been happening in the darkest parts of our collective, there is a rumbling that is occurring. There is a network of voices that are coming out to join forces against a very institutional, subtle, and not so subtle, part of our society. The wounded masculine is getting a light shined on it and it is very uncomfortable.

The reactions can come as far as saying that there is a war on men and that boys are going to be turned into weak and feckless adults. When I hear that all I can feel is this masculine’s judgment toward the feminine. Yes, I can see where boys and men are not inhabiting their power and are in need of heart-open initiation that offers them power WITH the feminine and not OVER the feminine. No, we are not all bad guys, but we have unconscious habits and perspectives that do need authentic and curious exploration if we are going to evolve as a society.

This rush to defense, to me, signifies a soul wound that is in deep protection. I think there is a legitimate caution to not create a generalization that takes us in some polarized reaction. I am not “one of those guys”, but I do know as part of the collective male/masculine psyche I do have things to feel into and uncover within myself. That is the next level for all of us to consider when we talk about ascension and healing. It is not a blame game, but a deep and serious look at what is at play underneath our hoods. This is equally true for women.

My desire is to create a healthy dialogue and personal invitation to what this exploration may reveal about ourselves and our nature as men. It is to take us into a new relationship with our masculinity AND our feminity. This is what I feel we are being offered by Love in all Its energy fluxes and activations. This is the year of the arising sacred masculine within all of us.

*****

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Sanity Of Your INsanity

Published on January 16, 2019January 23, 2019 by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

The thinning of the veil is elucidating your most hidden places. The ones you thought you had under control or weren’t even aware of. The contentedness is slowly losing its hold on your emotional reality. What I want to offer here is that there is a life-line. It is to actually go INsane. Which in this way means to go “into the healthy”. In our fear-based consciousness, we have turned away from going into the deep emotional as the Holy Grail of our greatest gift to ourselves.

These energies have been called our inner Demons. They have felt like a haunting to some. An intense barrage of thought and emotion that have been medicated by all sorts of prescriptions, whether drugs, or sex, or anything else that has aided as a distraction. Some may just be living with it trying to “get by” as best they can. I want to give a voice to these “demons”, for they are actually your unheard and unfelt angels. They have a message to deliver to you and you just haven’t had the means to be able to actually hear without being overwhelmed.

You are not crazy. You are becoming very sane. You are being gifted with your soul’s calling and the messengers of Love. You can choose what messages to take in and when, for you are the leader in this new world you will have created for yourself when you have taken the first step to go in and feel all the parts of you that have a voice, and that need you.

*****

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: