Tag: awakening

πƒπšπ«π€ 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐑𝐞𝐫 π’πžπ«π’πžπ¬ – 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 πˆπ•: π’π‘πž 𝐖𝐑𝐨 π–π‘π’π¬π©πžπ«π¬ β€œπˆπ­β€™π¬ π“π’π¦πžβ€

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kasha Rosa

We come now to the final part of this series, released as the wheel of the year turns toward Samhain.

The following is a transmission of Dark Mother’s energies… the core of the re-coding I’ve been offering these last few weeks. πŸ’œ

βΈ»

I see Her.

She is cloaked,

yet Her hood is sliding down.

She invites you to know Her better,

beyond the victimhood narratives 

and goddess war stories.

Beyond the need for enemies.

She has been called β€œDestroyer,”

but what She truly offers 

is so much bigger…

She aches for the need for battling to be over.

She aches for the pull toward suffering to lose its glamour.

She invites, with open arms,

your surrender…

your WHOLE surrender.

You, and every one of your parts 

and soul aspects,

are welcome to lean into Her.

She is infinity and the void.

She is the grace of the feminine capacity to hold space for every nuance of her being.

She is the fire of change and rebirth.

She is the voice that whispers,

β€œIt’s time.”

She is the hand extended

as you tremble 

at the edge of transformation.

She is the warmth that catches you

when the fall becomes 

too much to bear.

She is the encouragement 

to get messy

if it means getting real.

The reminder that everything 

can be cleaned up

if your heart is in it.

She is the balm of calming love

after the lessons have landed.

She is raw sensuality…

the sacred invitation into intimacy

with self, with other, with Life.

She is commitment and investment.

She is the holding of fear 

and moving forward anyway.

She is the walk into the underworld

and the rise back out with gifts in hand.

She is the Dark Mother.

And she has always, 

always loved you. πŸ’œ

***

Kasha Rosa is a Divine Feminine Love Ambassador, Divine Self Embodiment Facilitator, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.divineselfembodiment.com for more information about space-holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Accepting What You Have Already Manifested In Order To Manifest True Soul Desires

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

ByΒ  Raphael Awen

The hard part of β€˜becoming a manifester’ isn’t the obtaining of some magical alchemical highly-hidden esoteric ability.

It’s something much more mundane.

It’s the self responsibility to see and admit that you already are this manifester, just maybe not of the kinds of realities a part of you was hoping to manifest.

You already fully are the creator. You don’t need to work on that to get it going.

What you can work on is the willingness to assume response-ability for what’s been created already.

What are the various parts of me creating in my life as powerful manifestations?

Why? When? How? With whom?

Make a full-on quest of these questions.

Add in a bunch of love from your Divine Self as you explore these parts of you. Honour all that has been created for how it has brought you to this present moment with both its sorrows and joys.

These parts of you and soul aspects hold your present manifestation power and creativity. If you bridge to them with your opening and curious heart, you can get them on board with creating entirely new realities that never existed before.

Now, the courage you gained in your quest becomes called on in order to adapt to the challenges of the new super abundant reality. Higher timelines are not without challenge, and this is why the universe needed you to start right from where you were without skipping any grades.

I’d love to help you with this process. Check into sessions together at the link below with myself and let’s let the quest reignite.

Raphael Awen

divineselfembodiment.com/sessions

The pic above was from 6 years ago of Jelelle and I. Just yesterday, as Jelelle stepped out of the house to join me in the back yard for some sun and barefoot grounding, I was again struck by how I get to be in this reality with her. She is without a doubt the most major manifestation that I was surprised by and still am.

I want to find others, soul family others, who are willing to be in and to bear the calling of loves many manifold manifestations. πŸŒΉπŸ’š

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of Divine Self Embodiment.Β  Visit divineselfembodiment.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.Β 

Reconciling Our Needs, Appetites & Desires As A Key To Our Growth

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

ByΒ  Raphael Awen

It feels so apparent to me that our appetites, needs and desires are the key factor in our growth, learning, evolution as well as our fulfillment.

But the hard part is that it is these same appetites, needs and desires are very intertwined with our pain, our suffering and our addictions.

It may well be that were it not for appetites, needs and desires, there wouldn’t be any suffering. That seems to be the conclusion of many spiritualities. Religions as well offer various ways of dealing with this dilemma and dichotomy.

I’ve been feeling this heightened in myself this past year, heightened more in recent months and weeks dealing with changing body tolerances to favored foods. A lot of life change brings on holding onto familiar comforts for a time and stretching the tension between what fulfills in the moment and what truly rewards.

I was dealing with heightened indigestion, loss of sleep due to frequent urination and came to that point of a deeper desperation. I chose to fast for the needed reset.

It wasn’t a mandated forced self discipline way of going about it. That ability of disciplining myself to do anything is one of the things that has changed for me too, to where what I deepest desire, seems only possible to move towards if it is by desire and surrender. It has been a scary thing to lose, this ability to marshall change by willpower alone.

I do feel all of this as an upgrade, but definitely finding on a deeper level how the only real way that I can navigate any upgrade is to feel it all as I go.

After 3 days of fasting and feeling everything along the way, yesterday, while out for a walk in my familiar village, walking a section without people, I spoke aloud my desires, yearnings and the fears associated with losing the opened-out edge that I feel while fasting. Will desire and appetite just return to their old groove and I’m left with more despair for being almost worse off? I felt the part of me very tenderly who holds that question. I deeply honored the tenderness and transparency of the question. I reflected back to this part of me how awesome it is for us to feel this tension together instead of allowing the unanswered tension play out in our navigation of our appetites and desires.

I’m returning to some fruit smoothie this morning, allowing my strength to return to show up for what’s next.

This is a big piece that Jelelle and I feel called to live and share, this ongoing transition to living on light. Many people have made the transition to where their bodies are sustained without eating physical food, without any loss of the quality of their health.

Many too who reached that place have also found that though they could get their body in the groove, they hadn’t felt all there was to feel along the transition and chose to return to eating in order to fill in the gaps of their transition.

It is light that we all live on. We just differ in how we source that light. That’s the journey and it’s all about our relationship to our desires, appetites and our current fulfillments. That makes for such a deep common denominator amongst us while also making for so much diversity.

To know that light itself without the need for physical food can sustain the body points to the reality that that same light is all we need for all of our needs. We β€˜earn’ money as part of journey to realizing that all worth and value is freely available and attainable for all of our needs. Then deeper in the journey we realize that we are so humbly entitled to full sustenance by our birthright in a super abundant universe.

There’s still some β€˜rules’ that seem to govern this super abundant universe to where we are in a symbiosis of giving and receiving, but that is a higher frequency than β€˜earning’.

What if what you do to earn money could be transformed into giving more of you to love and to life while you earn that money?

Love to every part of us and to each other for holding these tensions of our journey in being born into need desire and our appetites.

Raphael πŸ’š

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of Divine Self Embodiment.Β  Visit divineselfembodiment.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.Β 

Unleashing Your Sorrow To Attain Your Joy

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

ByΒ  Raphael Awen

You can’t really uncap your true joy without uncapping your sadness or sorrow.

Your deep joy essence is part of your emotional body, your emotional being. But so are feelings of sadness and sorrow that parts of us are often resistant to feeling, that have been compartmentalized for safe keeping.

The problem is though that there is no β€˜safe keeping’ for unwanted feelings indefinitely. The part of you who feels those feelings wants to be felt, connected with and known.

As you become more willing to explore these so called β€˜negative emotions’ (which are so tired of being β€˜negated’), you also open up your native deep, rich and profound joy channels.

As we are journeying here as souls in a remembrance journey of yearning to experience more of our divine soul essence being embodied, it means that sadness, sorrow and missing will need to be an equal part of the propulsion system on that journey, right up there with the true joys of homecoming. You can’t be getting glimpses of a paradise lost and a paradise regained without feelings of deep missing.

All of it wants to be allowed in the moment, in the now. I have found this reconciliation of my sorrow to be an ongoing challenge to any parts of me still holding onto conditioning that I should somehow be beyond sorrow. Entering that friction inside always opens me up to new joys.

The good news is that these sorrows or sadnesses won’t actually swallow you whole, contrary to how parts of you have positioned their resistance to opening up to your sorrow. Your divine self always offers a rate and pace that you can bear, along with the answers of deep joy right alongside of it all.

The courage this requires however is truly significant because our Inner Gatekeepers and Inner Protectors really don’t know how much gas there is in your tank to complete this journey. Nor do they know how deep or arduous the journey will be.

This can only be consciously and directly negotiated with these aspects of yourself which becomes the assurance of the possibility of this journey as well as the assurance of the outcome.

I find it so hugely rewarding to open my heart to others pain in service and dedicated 1:1 session space with individuals who are ready for these kinds of inward journeys. The courage they find, the desire and readiness they demonstrate fuels my own journey. Info on me and the work I offer and the community around it all is here: divineselfembodiment.com/sessions

Being willing to bear these deeper joys and the deeper sorrows are all actually the divine’s own expression and experience through us and with us!

Love to you in all you are willing to feel and move through in your service to love, your service to yourself and your service to me!

πŸ’š Raphael

This gorgeous flower I found yesterday was growing just down the way in our village, flourishing even amongst the subdued weather and delayed spring this year.

The Professional, The Provisional & The Profusional

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

The PROFESSIONAL is one who declares openly that they have the know how and the care and the full time commitment to something. They promise expertise mixed with care and full commitment. They operate in a world of scarcity and competitive edge, hoping to gain our trust.

The PROVISONAL is the more relaxed one who declares that they’re doing their best. They’ll make do, hopefully. They operate in a world of β€œI’m in, at least until a replacement can be found.”

The PROFUSIONAL is one who is pouring forth love so abundant, it’s overwhelming. The care and the expertise that is flowing from them is both personal and transpersonal, connected to the source field of all knowledge and all discernment. They operate in a world connected to the superabundant source of all life. The results they produce can be more than you thought you were looking for. Their declaration of credentials is embedded deep in their being, before words are spoken. You only go to them when you’re ready for a deep shift and complete with other phases of growth and learning.

I like the profusional, personally. 😊 They’re the ones I want to be around. They’re the ones that nourish. They’re the ones I want to model after.

Yeshua was a profusional. When followers who were clearly both drawn and hesitant towards him said, β€œI’ll be right there, Yeshua, just as soon as I’m done looking after my dying parent,” Yeshua replied, β€œLet the dead bury the dead, you come follow me.” He read this person’s higher timeline, called out their β€˜nobility’ that was in service of staying small, and offered it to them. He sorted out their draw to him, not allowing them to suffer in a half-in, half-out place.

That’s the confrontation of deep overwhelming love and possibility. It always includes a letting go of something to embrace a larger something. We all chose this world of choice. We’re already exercising this power of choice in every moment. It just wants to be turned now in its direction towards love, rather than from love.

Our choices are what regulate the amount of love we can take in and digest at any given time. There are valid reasons why we would need and want to slow things down, and this is where sacred choice comes in. Lack itself was created by love as a way for love to come to know itself, so there is no judgment on a necessary slower timeline. It could be said of everyone of us, that we are in a kindergarten relationship with love’s infinite potential. The veil is necessary.

Yeshua liked to push the boundaries, however, to explore beyond the safe and the known. He taught that the Kingdom of Heaven (the true β€˜more’ that you seek) is likened to a man who happens upon a pearl of great price while walking through a field, who after beholding it, buries it in the field, then proceeds to go out and sell all that he has, so that he can return to purchase the field that contains this pearl.

We’ve all done this before. We’ve gone after something. Gave up other things to get that thing. Think about when you fell in love. Your β€˜wanter’ will need to come back online, and be dusted off from its journey in the halls of the non-dual invalidation of the healthy ego. You’re going to need an ego to play in this game. You’re going to need to have needs, and be able to care for them, if you will ever be in the overflow of care and love for others in this profusion.

The cool part of all this is that in this higher heart motivation, the most truly β€˜selfish’ motivation, is transmitted from the scarcity world of β€˜my benefit at your cost’ to the world of β€˜whatever is in my highest interest is in actual alignment of all others, because at root, there is only one of us.’ β€˜Self’ is not only redeemed from the sinful picture of being separate from God, but celebrated and calibrated as the divine itself expressing in flesh. Your embodiment of all this is your divine reunion. It’s your β€˜pearl of great price.’

It will β€˜cost’ you, but it will be felt to be a pittance compared to the superabundance that you realize in yourself, and for the one-self of The All that we all are.

I lead and participate in a specific world of profusion. A specific soul family playground that requires preference. We all had to choose deeply and risk and give up other things to be a part of it. I’m inviting you to feel if what I lead is part of your pearl of great price.

There’s one thing you won’t have to give up to participate and that’s your sovereignty. You’re going to need to truly own that more than you thought you did actually. Only one in possession of their autonomy is able to surrender it into a setting while healthily retaining it. It’s the only safe way to go β€˜all in’.

We’ve all seen the long played out unhealthy surrender of people’s autonomy onto pedestalized gurus who proved unworthy of our higher self projections onto them. We’re getting beyond that phase now in our collective consciousness.

What’s your β€˜next’? If you were to gather up your investments, pool them into a fund, what, and who and where would you spend it on?

I encourage you to find that worthy place. Let yourself dream of it. Feel and love every voice inside of you that says it’s not possible. Know that their resistance is key and the portal to you transmuting your world to the new world. Take a next step in that direction. See how that step fuels the next. It makes you interesting, powerful and beautiful. It all looks so good on you!

Love,

Raphael πŸ’š

This pic was part of Jelelle and I’s visit this past week to the Templar Castle and the later Church overlay onto it in Tomar, Portugal.

When we took these pics, we were both stunned by the transmission of our leading edge with a message that says β€œdespite your questions, yes, you really are this big!”

Join me for a free intro (30 min over zoom) and 1:1 sessions for men (and with Jelelle for women) for support in this divine self embodiment path in person (here in Central Portual) or over zoom with THREE types of sessions now available…..Divine healing, self healing, and embodiment healing sessions by donation of 55-100 euros sliding scale, truly based on neg. and what you can afford…soulfullheart.org/sessions

Your Unhappiness Is Key To Your Happiness

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

ByΒ  Raphael Awen

If you’re not unhappy, you’ll never come to know true happiness.

Twenty years ago, I had ten big desires brewing inside of me, that all felt so out of reach. Today, I’m actually living in the fulfillment of all ten.

In some ways, at 62 years old, I’m happier than I ever imagined I’d be and in some ways, I’m not.

If you’re curious and drawn to some real transparency, please allow me to explain, but only if you’re truly wanting to dare to own your own sacred journey, as well as your deeper desires.

If you’re here and reading this, I feel it’s safe to assume that you’re connected to a deep common denominator in each of us to grow and expand. That’s why I’m writing and reflecting on this, actually, to keep on growing.

A quick list of the 10 really big desires I had brewing back in 2004 were as follows:

To escape the world I had created in a profitable niche world in my 30 year long painting contracting business. It was too easy and felt like a trap in many ways.

I wanted to leave the city I had spent the last 40 years in, but that felt so far out of reach.

I wanted to get out of debt financially.

I wanted to express my soul purpose and live in a much deeper sense of mission in my life, with more influence and connection with my world around me.

I wanted to be really intimately connected with a soul mate romantic bond inside of that mission.

I wanted to travel and live somewhat nomadically, and be in a much deeper connection with nature inside of that romance and soul purpose.

I wanted to get beyond a very limited sexual expression and repertoire which was all I’d ever known.

I wanted out of a 23 year marriage as well as my lifelong relationship with Christianity, both of which were reaching the end of their natural life cycle inside.

I wanted to learn how to live inside of the superabundance of the universe where I didn’t β€˜work to earn a living’.

Each of these desires spoke to something really true of my soul. Looking back, it’s quite striking to feel how each one of these desires has been fulfilled when 20 years ago, each one only felt like a dream, where the entire self-help Tony Robbins like phase of my consciousness where β€˜You can manifest the life of your dreams’ was no longer anything I had much steam for inside of me.

The dreams felt more and more taunting to me as I couldn’t see where and how I could move towards them. All I could feel was a sense of my life powering down in many ways, and my impulses to protect what I didn’t want to lose kept making me feel more trapped and more in despair of ever realizing these elusive dreams.

It’s an even stranger thing to realize that from the vantage point of 20 years ago, I’m both more fulfilled today than I’d ever imagined and I’m also not.

All of these desires were quite external to my internal world, which wasn’t nearly as in focus at the time. Many of the desires were strategic hopes of not having to enter my personal internal hells to find this imagined external heaven. What life and my soul gave me was a mission much deeper than the one I was superficially, externally, dreamily focused on, and that was to begin to truly feel and heal long avoided terrains inside of me.

Parts of me back then imagined in all those dreams, if I were somehow ever to make them more than dreams, if I actually realized them, that I’d be guaranteed to be outside of a world of deep challenge, of any experience of fears and insecurities, that I’d have life by the tail somehow, at least on my terms. I would be in expansive heart and soul fulfillment somehow. The dreams were like an imaginary world to cycle in, to escape into. In many ways, they felt so safely impossible, that parts of me didn’t actually worry about what it would be like to actually move my life from where I was then to where I wanted to be.

I didn’t really have a travel plan or a relocation plan because I didn’t see myself traversing that gap between my reality and my desires, until I began unavoidably falling into that gap.

I feel many men and women are right there now, falling into that gap, into that primordial void space. We are in deep cycles of death and rebirth, where not only individuals, but also entire cultures and ways of being in the world are reaching the end of their intended life cycles. We’ve received a sobering terminal illness diagnosis that feels quite unavoidable and convincing. Change is coming. Time to prepare, but how?

Where my unhappiness lives in me today is realizing this expectation or even demand that I’d be happier than I actually am was some kind of expectation of being saved or removed from life itself. My soul, and your soul never actually expected that life here in physical form would be free of deep challenges, or immune to unhappiness.

Your and my soul knew then and knows now that the propulsion system and digestive system of our growth always includes a β€˜wanter’. No wants, no appetites, no unhappiness…; no real life.

Your and my present β€˜skin in the game’ of carrying unfulfilled desires is what makes us interesting, useful and capable of deep joy, reverence and meaning. Without new desires showing up on the shores of your deepest fulfillments to date, you are withdrawn from life and love itself.

The biggest purpose at the core of the universe may be love itself wanting to come to know and feel itself, to unveil itself to itself. If that’s accurate, then you and I, as manifestations and expressions of that love itself, best gear up and β€˜fear up’ (in a healthy way) of giving ourselves over to love’s cycle of despair, turning to yearning and then fulfillment and preparing to do it all over again. If love ever decides it has come to the end of its infinite learning and growth and to rest on its laurels, then we can be sure that heaven will be somehow beyond the risks of boredom and atrophy, that have and would surely plague and haunt us at this and previous phases of our consciousness.

I want more. You want more. This connects us like nothing else does. Your and my rewards and fulfillments can’t actually be kept to ourselves. My big piece of the pie doesn’t mean a smaller piece for you. If one of us figures it out, it’s actually figured out and plainly available for each of us. There’s no patent office to file your proprietary and personal claim on your fulfillment, or your β€˜life hack’. This is because there is on a deeper level, only one of us in this illusory game of the ever appearing separate self.

Love needed the staging of the sovereign individual, the separate self, a birthing of its own image, likeness and stature, billions of times over, to prove its point that the whole show is a love show, including the deepest polarities and β€˜evils’ and β€˜devils’ we are faced with.

The despairs, the evils and the devils are all wanting nothing more than reconciliation with love. Every trauma and despair within you is a portal to the more that you are self-assigned here to seek.

The separation fears and traumas are all vital to learning and growth. The happinesses turning to more wanting needs to be factored in. You are this big of a being.

I want it all. I want it for me. I want it for you. I want it for love.

That’s my new desire and dream. I’m looking for more connection with more dreamers. Let’s get transparent with one another. What hasn’t worked? How can that inform what’s wanting to take form now?

What new ways of life and love want to express in this reunion side of the separation equation?

Are you willing to get honest and real? Because until you do, while you’re still part of the game, and love’s game and ever worthy, wherever you are, you’re just kind of boring and uninteresting to me. I’m not really drawn to you. On a higher level, I’m in awe of you, that you’re soul would take on such levels of disconnect and unfulfillment to transmute for love in time, but until this soul turn of reunion turns a corner in you, there’s just not a lot of any kind of a personally interesting game to play with you.

We both ever and only have equal worth and intrinsic value, but we’re just not on the same page. The game of separation and difference and polarity is still here, but only really to stage more reunions, and more learning.

I want to be a part of your despairs and your dreams, because when I’m allowed into that, I’m allowed into more of me, more of love itself, more of the divine’s sacred evolution.

Much love,

Raphael πŸ’š

For more on my journey from those 20 years ago, check out Jelelle and I’s book: β€˜Under The Bloated Banyan – Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light To True Love’ You can read more about it here: soulfullheart.org/underthebloatedbanyan

I’m also posting some longer writings like this one on Medium.com if you’d like to connect with me there. This post can be found here: https://medium.com/…/if-youre-not-unhappy-you-ll-never…

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.Β  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.Β 

Inner Sacred Union/Hieros Gamos Group Transmission Call W/Raphael & Jelelle Awen 4/7

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Inner sacred union (hieros gamos) is the awakening of the lovers contained in your soul (drawn from the Divine Union Pairbond source field) and arising into expression in your life, embraced by your heart and contained in your body. Inner sacred union bridges you to the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine within, the sun and the moon, yin and yang….to find integration inside you.

Hieros Gamos opens up an ongoing healing and clearing of polarized and toxic relationships within you between masculine aspects and feminine aspects. You move into a soul-guided process of unifying polarities that have been more separated within you, in our collective consciousness, and in 3D/karmic relationships.

As you connect to your ‘inner lovers’ this allows for deepenings and openings in the experience of inner balance and harmony, and unplugging from/moving on from parental relationship templates/previous relationship partner dynamics and Matrix relational programming that may have been internalized. Previous hurts, harms, and rejections wounds from previous relationships also come to resolution, completing the suffering pattern drawn on the outside.

This inner sacred union healing ground of initiation then prepares you for and draws (and allows for transaction within) a nourishing Divine counterpart sacred union with a beloved mate on the outside.

In this two-hour group call for men and women on Sunday, April 7th at 5:00pm -7:00pm WEST (Lisbon, Portugal/UK); 12:00pm EDT (New York)….Divine Self Embodiment Teachers/Facilitators/Sacred Union Mates Raphael and Jelelle Awen offer an exploration into inner sacred union.

During this call, we will share about:

– our own personal journeys and process of healing and opening out our inner sacred union expressions both together as a couple and individually.

– We also offer how the Divine Self Embodiment healing process of conscious access to parts of yourself and other lifetime aspects/soul dynamics allows for a deeper embodiment of your inner sacred union as it allows a bridge to your inner masculines parts such as Inner Protector, Gatekeeper and Inner Punisher…and your inner feminine parts (younger such as Inner Child/Teenager to Inner Mother/Crone) as well.
​
In the guided meditation/transmission portion of the call, we will play our 432HZ quartz crystal bowls and create a bridge to your inner masculine as he wants to show up in the moment and your inner feminine as well. We invite them to attend a ‘dance ball’ and to dance together in the moment if they are ready. During this dance, we open up connection between them and also reveal places that feel stuck or conflictual between them.

Divine guides and sacred union mates Yeshua and Mary Magdalene join us to hold a safe, higher-vibe space for this exploration and offer inspiring transmissions of sacred union love.
Raphael will channel from his sacred masculine mate heart and Jelelle from her sacred feminine mate heart any messages/guidance/codes of support that flow through them for you. We also repeat affirmations/recodings as a group that provide a new coding of inner sacred union experience within you and with your mate.

Here is an inner sacred union guided meditation video from Raphael and Jelelle’s Deepen 2022 video series which we recommend watching prior to the call: https://youtu.be/YVgEANrF6J4

This group call is part of our ongoing Sacred Union w/self, others and the Divine virtual transmission group call series with transmission calls being offered every two weeks on Sundays until the end of June. We will then expand and deepen this in an inner sacred union group call for women on April 21st with Kasha and Jelelle…focusing on the specific processes and experiences for women. It feels like this will allow some polarities to heal between the genders as well and new codings to come in. More info about the series at soulfullheart.org/sacredunionseries2024

We recommend reading/listening to Jelelle’s Free To Be 5D book as a support for this group call. If you donate to attend/receive the recording of this circle, we will send you a free PDF, plus the audio book files in Jelelle’s voice, to take in as a support for it.
You can receive these frequencies live with us (highly recommended) or take in the recording afterwards.

If you attend the live group, you’ll have the opportunity to share with us about what you experienced during the meditation and receive feedback/next steps of integration from us (this is totally optional). Plus, you’ll be able to take in and receive sharings from other women and men on the call, which is a powerful activation of its own!

This group is open to the public and to any woman and man over 18. You can attend the group and/or receive the recording for an energy/money exchange of whatever donation you feel to give (11 Euros/USD is the amount people usually offer us).

You can offer your donation for the call in one of four ways:

1. Our preferred payment platform is Wise if you have that or would like to sign up. It’s instant, zero fee to transfer money between members. There’s a doc here with some guidance and more info if you’d like to sign up. Include your email if using wise: http://tiny.cc/ron3vz

2. If you are Canadian, you can use Interac e-transfer. Our email for transfers is soulfullhearts@gmail.com and account is under Marvin Vriend. It’s also instant and without service fees to sender or receiver.

3. via our shop at soulfullheart.org/shop using stripe (Credit/debit)

4. Paypal at Paypal.me/soulfullheart (include your email)

Here’s a timezone converter: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html…

New Book Release: Under The Bloated Banyan: Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light To True Love by Raphael & Jelelle Awen

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Today is the day our book baby is born! As we waited for final approval from amazon, we thought it might be on our 15th wedding anniversary on Thursday, and then on Good Friday, yet, it turned out to be Holy Saturday, the day in between Yeshua’s ‘crucifixion’ and resurrection….which feels perfect somehow!

And today is also perfect to release it as Raphael and I are having a sacred marriage vow renewal ceremony together with our beloveds…to name our intentions in deepening commitment to each other and to our commission (co-mission) of continuing to bring our Divine Self Embodiment consciousness offering to the Earth Plane/Gaia ascending for those soul family members who are resonant with it.

Our book called, Under The Bloated Banyan: Our Sacred Union Journey From False Light to True Love, is now my fifth self-published book and my first co-written with my beloved Raphael. This book has had quite a journey to being born in its current form! I first published it with just my writing/my side of the story in 2013, still feeling in some deeper trauma processing around what I share in it about the former cult-like spiritual group and teacher I/we were involved with (for me nearly five years and I was a facilitator of the work as well). It felt just too vulnerable at the time for parts of me while the group was still active and there was still so much controversy and energectic push back going on about speaking out against it from former friends/followers and my former teacher…so I ended up unpublishing it.

Then, I published my story again in 2018, feeling more settled inside with parts of me around the release of it, as the group had been collapsed for three years at that point after members FINALLY woke up to the abuses going on and fired the teacher/leader of it and collapsed the non-profit altogether. I had been able to process the completion with a couple of my former friends at that time, which seemed to help as well.

Yet, again, it didn’t feel quite right timing and easy inside to have my story (which is mostly from actual journals that I kept at the time) ‘out there’ so I retracted it again from public purchase. Both times I felt a sadness inside too as I had received feedback from people that sharing my story in such a vulnerable way touched them deeply and helped them in their own recovery from similar toxic, yet enlightening experiences with narcissistic groups/relationships.

So, then, about five months ago, Raphael and I were guided by Yeshua and Mary Magdalene to write the story of our sacred union journey over the last 18 years, including the time before we ‘officially’ came together while we were in the group. They offered that it would be a deep service to do this for others, the Christ-Magdalene lineage, and for ourselves/parts of us as well, to share it as a template for what is possible for those who have signed up for the Divine union marriage alchemical journey.

Raphael tuned into the parts of him (Marvin and Wayne) who had been through the several year journey shared about in this book, and wrote about leaving a long-term marriage and Christianity for which he received some pushback and his bravery in choosing his emotional healing and his soul awakening over duty and obligation. He also shares about holding the conscious memory of attraction to me and our Divine Union (as sometimes the masculine partner does) and he brought a few attractions to me before I was finally ready to respond to them (lots of emotional maturing to do on my side to be ready of it and him!).

Now, it feels time finally to share this story, which really hasn’t ever been just MY story I realize, which is why parts of me were uncomfortable to share it alone. Now, it includes Raphael’s parallel experiences in tandem with mine. It is so interesting to see how the choices and challenges we faced as individuals seem to constantly mirror each other, overlap and coincide, often entering and dissolving relationships with others at the same time…….until finally we are ready to choose a shared relationship and timeline together.

And, it is still stunning to feel, once we did, how our true and deep and Divinely guided/supported love dissolved ANYTHING false in our world right away. Within three weeks of our first date. We were accused by our former teachers of ‘faking a sacred union’ and of ‘going too fast’, ‘being codependent’…all of which we probably were in the beginning. Still, it was easy in another way to say ‘yes’ to being together and ‘no more’ to the ultimatum thrust on us of breaking up or staying in the group, which we were increasingly feeling had unnamed abuses and toxicity going on.

It is still shocking to parts of me, literally takes my breath away, to feel how quickly and completely our previous worlds (including my home geography eventually!) fell apart and away once we came together. This is often a signature of a Divine Union counterpart bond and also is the good will and genuine care/love/support for each other (absence of abuse, inability to lie to each other) that has been there between us from the very beginnings of our friendship turned romance. This kind of union calls you to be completely devoted to it, inside and out, as you feel how it is your means of expressing service and your soul purpose in the world.

I so hope you enjoy this first chapter/book of our sacred union journey, which we are now feeling to continue into what feels like two more books offered over the next three years. A sacred union trilogy capturing the phases, the ups and downs, the letting ins and letting gos, of what has truly been a bliss mess ride, yet always feeling held in a bubble of Divine love protection and marked absence of traumatic experiences (after the initial ones!)

Under The Bloated Banyan is a title that came through many years ago and represents the ‘bloat’ of these false light/false God groups and offerings that are offered under the banyan tree (the sacred tree where Buddha found his enlightenment.) So many of which offer deep teachings/gifts in their own ways and esp. in the beginning honeymoon stages, and yet are inevitability hijacked by the leader’s unfelt shadow motivations/aspects and the Matrix agenda/karmic field. These false light offerings/teachers are being exposed, disclosed and collapsing more and more as we outgrow the need for them…esp when we dedicate ourselves to healing our birth family/generational/incarnational trauma and engage in integrative shadow work with parts/aspects of ourselves.

Although, truly, this is not a story about ‘surviving a cult experience’…yet, really, it is and has always been, a love story. A love story about two counterparts reuniting again. A love story about discovering our deep devotional love for and with the Divine beloved. A love story about truly coming to love all parts of ourselves and soul aspects too.

You can purchase this book as a PDF on our shop (including instructions on how to read it on your kindle app/devices), or as in e-book and print editions through amazon. We would love to invite you to write a review if you feel moved and guided to after reading and also to share your thoughts, feelings, reactions, resonances with us here, via PM on Facebook, or email at soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Links to purchase and excerpt to read from the first chapter are here at soulfullheart.org/https://www.soulfullheart.org/underthebloatedbanyan

Amazon link (it is available in all major Amazon markets/countries so go to your amazon country link to purchase): https://tinyurl.com/3xdyaerw

And special thanks to Kasha Rokshana, who helped edit this book and designed the beautiful cover image for it. She has been a true champion and advocate for sharing this story (including the two previous versions!) and it feels like it wouldn’t be happening now without her love and passion for it to be out in the world!

Thank you for taking it into your heart and soul,

Love,

Jelelle Awen

And Raphael’s writing on this release:

“I am one proud papa to have this heart and soul baby born in the world!

Our story begins in a group that we were eventually β€˜kicked out of’, but in truth, it was life, love and the divine itself that β€˜kicked’ us out.

What we left with, largely unbeknownst to us at the time, was a Christ child, in embryonic form gestating in our bond. We took it from the light side of the egregore/usness of the beloved group we were a part of. It was like a baton that was passed on to us. We also took a great wound with us that would challenge us and lay our hearts bare, and eventually reveal a much deeper calling.

This story is a great revealing for me of a much deeper heart and soul calling to own and inhabit my own calling. I was allowed to feel and experience so much during these four years covered in this book, that I believe will be part of a key awakening for the men and women who resonate, who share this same calling, who share this same soul family lineage.

I truly hope my story and our story stirs deep within you, a recognition of the specialness and uniqueness of your own sacred calling that begins right from where you are right now. It couldn’t be more divinely appointed. That’s how I feel your and my life story.

It would touch me deeply not only to have you read it, but to hear how it landed and what it stirred for you, even better if you could share it publicly, (even anonymously if it’s understandably too much of a coming out for parts of you).

What a gift it is that this baby was born on this day as Jelelle and I had also planned this day many weeks ago as a day to gather with our current closest beloveds for a wedding vow renewal ceremony!

Thank you, Jelelle for your intense focus these past weeks to handle all the rigours of self publishing! Thank you most of all for being with me into where we go now!

May this story touch you like no other!

Love,

Raphael

Healing Sacred Sexuality Experiences In Union And Within Us To Access More Divine Self Embodiment

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Going into our sacred sexuality healing container group transmission call on Sunday 3/3 has brought up a recent process within my soul and with Raphael in our Pairbond union as I/we prepare for it. Our sexuality together has become, now over 15 years together, not just about the act of making love/intercourse etc. or even the ‘goal’ of orgasm. It has deepened into an energectic exchange that expresses physically, emotionally, spiritually, held by the heart that acts as a potent portal to our soul fields.

We call it ‘going into our bridal chamber’ when we transact these energies and it is a safe place where we can be not just naked physically, yet on ALL levels to share what parts/soul aspects are feeling as well. We have held our sexuality together with honoring and tender heart space from our very first sexual experience together, where I shared a letter from my yoni with him so he understood the previous pains/toxicities she had experienced before going deeper to receive him.

Sacred sexuality is not just about physical pleasure, yet also about emotional/spiritual healing as well. It serves the individuals even as it serves the collective too.

In this catalytic year of 2024, we can both feel an upgrade going on in our reunion consciousness together, moving even more out of separation consciousness from so many lifetimes in the 3D/lower 4D matrix of not getting to be together….and into reunion experience on all levels. This upgrade has pushed up some ‘trailing edge/shadow’ expressions of our bond to come up and out to receive love, trust, and response with love.

Our collaboration in creation of and offering of our SoulFullHeart way of life healing process/community has been a ground to sort out separation consciousness and come into more shared alchemy around it. This has revealed trailing edge places of fear of the masculine patriarchy dominance within my soul field experience and compensation for that within his (as the awakening masculines are prone to do this life, trying to ‘make up for’ so much shadow expression that they too were ultimately hijacked by as well.)

The other ground of healing from separation to reunion has been in the bridal chamber exploration of our sexuality. I had been experiencing recently, for the first time in our relationship, pain and tightness in my yoni during our sexuality which was related to moving into deeper stages of menopause. This is very common in women my age as the yoni tissues dry up due to lower estrogen levels. Often this leads to shut down sexuality and no longer desiring orgasms/sexual intercourse/sexual expression, etc.

I started adding to the supplements I’ve been guided to support me right now through this menopause phase specifically to ease this (Vitamin D, Irish Moss and Sea buckthorn oil). I’ll share about the others that are assisting me soon.

They are helping and it is now resolving, yet when it was painful sexuality in the experience with Raphael it pushed up lifetimes of ‘less consensual’ sexuality, which all women have experienced in some form. Not necessarily rape or sexual abuse (which of course so many have) yet what I feel is ‘spiritualized sexuality’ where in lifetimes as a priestess my soul aspects would provide sexuality as a bridge to experience the Goddess. The men who received this initiation through sexuality would then agree to protect the priestesses.

I processed with my soul aspects that this is essentially prostitution in yet another form and a manifestation of the persecution wounding that is so deep in our experience of sexuality (for men and women, both sides.) The temple priestess (esp the Oracle timelines) are rich with this experience, along with the harem lifetimes of ‘serving the man sexually along with many other wives’ as well. And of course the false light male gurus who sexually abuse their usually young female followers are recapitulating this cycle in this life.

I have felt and processed and held space for the healing of this wounded sexuality experience many times in sessions with women over the years and within myself even in this more recent process. These are such tender, sensitive, and vulnerable grounds to go into and it takes time for the Inner Protector/Gatekeeper to trust to open up the parts/soul aspects who experience these things. So very often the Inner Protector shuts down instead the sexual expression and experience (esp as we get older) within us and in the bond rather than open to feel and heal these grounds.

Going into these places in negotiation with our Inner Protector serves to free up our sexuality expression from the persecution wounds, from the shame, from the blame, from the suppression. As our sexuality energies move within our bodies, a vitality expresses and we can reclaim another previously lost and abused fragment of our Divine Feminine power expression.

The Divine honors our sexuality as sacred. The Divine Mother holds space for us to heal our woundings, shame, and fear related to it together and within our own being during phases of sacred singlehood so that we can become a pure channel of its expression and experience again.

We will be offering sacred sexuality sharings and a sound healing/guided mediation transmission from our bridal chamber experiences during this group call on Sunday, March 3rd at 5pm Portugal time/12pm EST which you can attend live and receive the recording. This is not just for those in relationship, yet also those who are single and sacredly healing their sexual experiences.

And Kasha and I will be offering a sacred sexuality group transmission call for women on 3/17 as well. There is more info to offer a donation at soulfullheart.org/events and https://www.facebook.com/events/688766643180972

Love,

Jelelle Awen

A Single Red Rose

Published on by Raianna Shai1 Comment

By Raianna Shai

A single red rose
Emerging from the crisp cold snow
Its delicate warmth
Melting the icy edges

This is the gift of your sweet heart
Bringing spring’s growth
In the middle of winter

This is why you heal
To transform snowflakes
Into the sweet scent of nectar

You are here for a reason
In the midst of pain and tears
To create miracles within and without

Beloved, you are on your way
Even in the darkest of nights
Your soul shines bright to guide you

Beloved, you are almost there
Each moment of separation
Brings you that much closer to reunion

Each part of you is coming home
To reignite the entirety of who you are
And that which cannot be taken away

A single red rose
Is just the beginning
Of your blossoming garden of goodness
Born from your own fallen tears

~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and community member of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.