Unplugging And Healing The Black Widow Program And Aspect Within

A week from Sunday, Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a men’s group call about the subject of Sovereignty and Surrender, joined by our brother in heart, James Elphick. We will be diving into a topic that feels to have a lot of vibration for us men (as well as the masculine in women).

I have been in process of feeling a deeper layer of my mother wounding that is connected to a shadow feminine matrix programming called Black Widow. This is the name I received from this part/aspect of me I have been connecting with around this energy. She first showed up as a black widow spider to illuminate the nature of this woundedness and the programming itself. Then she morphed into a dominatrix with whip, heels, and all.

After some time of connecting with her and feeling who she really is underneath that all, I could feel something lighten and begin to get more clarity about this energy that may live in a lot of us men. This energy that uses guilt, shame, judgment, sexuality, comfort, and fear to keep us locked in a lower frequency, a state of suffering, a lulled state of disempowerment, or inner and outer judgment/punishment.

It is an inner battle of wanting to free ourselves from this web she weaves that I feel we as men are really trying to feel sovereign from. When we are engaged with other women in intimacy, this can really flare up. It triggers this need to be independent yet also the need to be connected in one form or another. There is a part of us that is in a push and a pull toward this energy and it is hard to feel fully empowered and vulnerable at the same time.

When she has this wounded Inner Mother energy, our Inner Teenager can feel the need to push back and seek independence. If she comes as Punishing energy, we may feel defensiveness and another need to push back. When it comes in as Fear, we may go to fight or flight. When she comes with sexuality we lose ourselves in our need for validation.

This Black Widow program/wounding has lost her connection to Innocence and to her own worth. She guards as well as feeds off this energy. Possessing it for herself out of need, not really out of some negative agenda, though it certainly feels that way at first. When I connect more with her with Love, the more she goes into her pain and her fear. Here is where healing and true sovereignty begin.

I can start to feel when this energy frequency of doubt, judgement, anxiety, or fear come in and I go to her. I feel her afraid to lose touch with me. I recognized those feelings were a tactic to keep my younger parts close to her. I am now going to her and bring her with me into the New. Into the Light from the dark crevice I first met her in.

In her more healed essence, she is our creativity and our sensuality. She is a face of our sacred feminine and our intuition. She is our truth and our discernment. She is our surrendered sovereignty into Divine Trust. She is our entrance into the exit of the Matrix itself. She knows the way. She knows how it works and operates. With that we can start to unplug (a sovereign choice) and surrender into the the New Earth world that is awaiting our creative power to encode New Earth inside and then on the outside.

If you are feeling a resonance or a curiosity about this programming/wounded inner mother energy and how it has influenced your feeling of your personal empowerment, sovereignty, and maybe a fear of surrendering into vulnerability, please join Raphael, James, and myself on this upcoming men’s group call. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more information. We would love to have you and feel what is moving for you in this area.

I also offer a free 45-minute consult/information call for both men and women that are wanting to feel more about how the SoulFullHeart process and space-holding may support this deeper dive into your wounding and unplugging. Visit http://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info as well.

I will be writing more about this topic in relation to romance, intimacy, and community in the following week so please stay tuned. Sending much love to all during these very intense, yet activating times.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Context, Content, And Deeper Feeling

There is a sacred process happening on this planet. I feel it, you feel it, we all are feeling it. But are we reacting to it or REALLY feeling it?

There is a way that parts of us can go into a particular ‘modus operendi’ when it comes to deep feeling. When I used that word above I am getting I really meant ‘sensing’. First, there is an intuitive or even an obvious sense of what is happening. And then there is going into feeling.

How we respond to that feeling is varied. We can research, protest, get paranoid, paralyzed, positive, or proactive. I find myself doing a little of bit everything depending on what part of me is in the forefront.
All of it is a natural flow of our emotional body. It is all welcomed and necessary. They are all portals to access our Divine Self. That essence of each of us that has a larger perspective and understanding, while at the same time hold space for the deeper feeling that emanates from our fractured selves.

Finding context in the midst of it all can open some more space to breath. That context is one that lives in you that may find resonance in different places. It gives parts of you something to lean into. That context is really You. Your Higher or Divine Self lens.

Yet, context also provides the space to feel. When we are locked in content, we are fusing to the more wounded aspects of us. They lose sight of a bigger heart and soul picture that takes them to sobriety and even hope.

When you can feel or at least see from a wider or higher vantage point, those deeper feelings (parts) are given permission to unfurl and unpack. They let go into deeper vibrations of loss, grief, fear, and rage while not getting wrapped up in them. They become rivers and not dammed up energy. Interesting…dammed and damned.

I continue to feel deeper layers of my feeling that lie under my reactions and responses. The clouds look thick and foreboding from a certain vantage point. There is also infinite sun shining on the other side of those clouds. Both are true in our full spectrum of awareness. It can be hard to see the forest for the trees, especially when it feels like the forest is on fire.

If you or someone you know is struggling with finding context and getting caught up with the plethora or content, please get in touch for a free 45 minute consult/intro call with me or any one of my beloveds here at SoulFullHeart. We can work together to feel the parts of you that are in need of context, and more importantly You as a Divine Self. Visit www.soulfullheart.org/sessions for more info.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen will also be hosting a Group Call and Meditation around the Covid narrative on Sunday, April 18th at 5pm BST. Visit www.soulfullheart.org/events for more info.

Sending much love to you and your inner world as you navigate the content to find your context

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Sovereignty And Surrender In The Age Of Fear And Control

In the past year since the world went on a fear bender, one of the biggest reactions that has come out is our relationship to our own sovereignty. We are being inundated with governmental sanctions based on a scientific ego that does not want to be questioned or prodded. It just wants to be right no matter what. Forget the fact that Science itself is based in questioning.

So we are left in a state of what feels like powerlessness. Our freedom to live our lives as we see the fittest for us is being put in the luxury category. No longer an ‘inalienable right’ but rather a gift from the Covid Masters of the Universe. This flares up our ‘sovereignty’ gene. The inherent aspect of us that needs to express as it needs to and wants to. It is our individuated spark of the Divine. It is masculine in nature and it is a bucking bronco when it needs to be.

This whole experience is a great portal into this territory of Sovereignty and Surrender, not just in relation to the current state of affairs, but also in general even before this timeline began.

What does it mean to be truly Sovereign?
How does Surrender relate to that?
Are they in conflict or is there a symbiosis?

When I feel these questions, I can sense the part of me that is in reaction to all that is going on. This anger and anxiety of sovereignty being eroded away until it is just left in a box, or a prison in a much more dystopian context. Yet, what if this experience is giving me the gift of feeling this part of me?

What is this trigger leading me to in my heart and soul?
What is the inner picture here?
What if I were to surrender to this invitation of going in and really FEELING this feeling rather than end-running around it with rage or despair?
Or maybe even Love and Lighting myself around it too!

In this process, I have felt a deeper relationship to my own sovereignty and what it means to truly surrender. It is not about ‘submission’. That is to just give into what is going on without feeling or questioning. It is unconscious compliance. Even then that is still a sovereign choice to do so. I am finding myself surrendering more into a greater context as well as claiming my sovereignty to choose how I want to respond. What energy do I truly want to be in and for what purpose?

I know I am asking a lot of questions here rather than giving ‘answers’. I feel we are being led to our own personal answers through these questions. I have a viewpoint from which I am sovereignly creating as well as surrendering to a bigger picture and to a Divine Love flow that is aching to come through me. I choose to let Love guide me and show me the where the fears and shadow lie in all of this. What is my role in the great scheme of it all? It is not about convincing, but about feeling.

On April 18th, Raphael and Jelelle Awen will be hosting a call about the Covid Narrative this past year. Raphael and I will also be hosting a Men’s Group call on this topic of Sovereignty and Surrender on April 24th. You can find more information at www.soulfullheart.org/events.

I will be writing more about sovereignty and surrender over the next couple of weeks as they have played a big part of my healing journey over the past decade, especially in relation to romance, community, and intimacy. I look forward to hearing about your journey with them as well. Here is to your inner journey around these very profound ideas. Ultimately, Love is wants us to claim both. The deeper question is how we do that from the inside out rather than the outside in.

To be continued…

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/





The Physical Body As A Tuning Fork | SoulFullHeart Session Testimonial

I received a wonderful email from a woman I currently facilitated in the SoulFullHeart parts work process and how it helped her move through a current emotional trigger. This is one aspect of the work that can really open up context and innerstanding as well as personal, self-to-self intimacy.

The physical body is like a tuning fork. It tells us when something is not quite humming in our natural frequency. In session space, I like to feel the body and see where the messages are. In that place there is a part of the emotional body that is attached to it. Using it as a direct line to your heart and soul awareness. Like an alarm bell asking for help and attention.

This part of you can assume a plethora of roles inside of you. Initially, it is generally an Inner Protector. Other times it can be and Inner Child or Inner Teenager. They also have there own relationship to each other that creates vibratory dynamics in your physical body.

When these parts are met and felt where they are at, it creates a going on place for you and them. It is just the beginning and not just a one-time catch and release. It is a relationship just like any other. It needs attention, consistency, and cultivation.

This part of the work may not be the sexiest when it comes to healing work but it is essential when ascending ALL of you. This life experience offers each of us a variety of experiences that are portals into the heart and the soul. It all eventually brings us back to the what has felt like the loss of Love. The Separation Wound.

So there is not one part of our healing that is better or small. It is all important and all sacred. If you are experiencing continued triggers or emotional/physical unrest, please get in touch for a free 45 minute introduction call to see if and how the SoulFullHeart process can bring in some much needed context and a going on place for continued growth and healing.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Feeling Easter As Your Own Death & Rebirth Process

This has been a very rumbly week leading up to Easter. There has been a churning of death and rebirth going on inside and out. My sacred union with my beloved Kasha has been put to the ‘test’, so to speak, with so much new ground needing an old ground to burn away in order to come into our next level of conscious romance and leadership.

I have needed to be ‘off’ social media to let all of this digest and find its way inside of me. It has been about continuing to find my voice, speak my truth and needs, as well as feeling the fear of doing so. It is this truth that can change so much. It creates and it destroys, but not necessarily in the way that a part of us may feel like it will. It is this fire that is meant to be alchemical and not necessarily harmful.

I was starting to feel the ways in which this fear is more about embodying our true power in the world and what that can actually create. If power and truth in our soul history has been experienced or judged as a ‘negative’, then we will inevitably find a way to suppress said power. We will remain in a push-pull around it. Deeply wanting and needing it, while hiding it at the same time. This creates suffering rather than movement.

This power has been held as a control mechanism inside of me. A way to manage and maintain a particular consciousness while my soul and the Divine are strongly, yet lovely, inviting me into something more essential, more real. Something long forgotten or buried. This is where a tight grip has formed or an anxious fear of surrender. I realized how much a part of me has still clung to this control structure.

In meditation I saw a sand castle on top of a stream. The foundation of this sand castle was collapsing into the stream. The castle was starting to crumble and I could feel parts of me trying to build it back up with more sand in order to keep it up. There was a tiredness in that. A readiness to let go while fearing the unknown of it all. I felt the stream as the Divine Itself, as Love, as the Tao. It just wants me to be the stream. Be in active surrender to where it is meant to take me even if I can’t see around the bend or it winds up in rapids.

It is my vulnerability and truth that keeps me afloat. It is what allows me to flow with my currency and is my true power. That stored up power in the castle just changed form and into embodiment. As the castle fully collapsed, I shed tears. I felt myself collapse into the flow of Love. I felt baptized and renewed. I felt a new connection with Kasha and myself.

As a result, I found myself realizing I needed to go back to my previous name of Gabriel. A lot has moved for me since trying on Aurius, but Gabriel is the essence of who I am in my soul. It is my Divine name. I just needed to flush some things out and reboot it. My beloveds also have an affinity for Gabriel and so that was enough for me to choose to go back. I will keep Amara as my last name, however. It has a frequency I love. It represents my inner feminine.

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me, and I hope that it has a service to you in all that you may be going through at this time. I am always here to facilitate and hold-space for this process that has taken me to new worlds and embodied awarenesses inside of myself in deep terrain. It is alchemical and transformative.

Much love to you this Easter weekend and may you meet your next death and rebirth cycle with grace, compassion, and courage.

*****

Gabriel Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for both men and women.  Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/