Tag: Transformation

The Pearls Of You On The Other Side Of Feeling

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

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The heart cries that are underneath the explanations and the justifications…..THESE cries call you to respond beyond what your mind can make sense of or explain away. These heart cries don’t go away as they aren’t meant to and CAN’T until they are felt and loved and connected with directly, until they are digested directly, until they are LISTENED to.

Having buried these heart cries far away, it can seem like you are recovered and even ‘moved on’. Yet, still, the undigested cries show up in physical hurts and illnesses, can’t sleep patterns and emotions of depression, anxiety, rage, tension, flat. Or relationships that are strained, toxic, abusive even, or just don’t offer the heart, soul, body, and mind grounds that you deserve and want. OR they show up in parts of you in HYPER energy, pushing out, covering up, staying VERY busy and full, going strong and using soul frequencies to frame it all in a positive way, avoiding feeling.

Oh, this is NOT an easy thing….to dive into places where parts of you would rather not go. Yet, you are diving in to discover the treasures that live there in the shadows….to release and integrate eventually. To offer your heart cries the compassion of your presence so that the tears can TRULY dry up and the cries can be silenced….

This is NOT easy, yet the rewards of your diving in, going in, feeling IN are the collection of the pearls of your deepest vulnerabilities, your most precious sensitivities, your suppressed desires….coming to light again, coming in the glow of your love again, coming UP again to be worn by YOU with gratitude as you arise into something NEW on the other side of feeling.

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author ofΒ  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder.Β Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.Β Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

A New Timeline Is Calling You To Heal And Feel On The Inside

Published on by Jelelle Awen4 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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Beginning again and again….YOU will emerge from the ashes of your purposefully burned down previously beloved life. The moments of your phoenix self emerging out and UP, those moments of being FREED UP from what was tying and binding and confining YOU.

So many hooks and binds fitted in and slotted in and configured in your 3D self that call you to unplug, over and over, feeling the places that are connected in. Aspects of you sitting around the living room of your conditioned life, watching the television of programmed reality, believing the timeline offered of suppression and smallness and suffering. Aspects of you ‘stuck’ in frozen moments of trauma and pain, living there still, freeze framed beyond time, still feeling the PAIN of this then. Aspects of you co-created with your birth family, them constantly energizing “this is you” and so the hologram like you arising from this projection and matching what they want and need you to be.

ALL these aspects of you needing YOU…..your love, your soul juice, your heart tones to help them leave the living room of programmed and conditioned reality……to help them turn off the old TV (literal and figuratively)…..to unplug from the matrix INSIDE…..to heal the grids INSIDE……..to unfreeze them in the stuck moments, to meet them there, feel them there, and then MOVE them on into the NOW moment…..to turn OFF the hologram you projection created by your birth family through boundaries and taking space so the TRUE you can arise.

These aspects of you and the stuck energy of them that manifests in rage, depression, anxiety, tension, despair, control, suffering, body pains, insomnia, toxic relationships…..can MOVE into the higher frequencies of joy, magic, bliss, trust, creativity, truth telling, sacred unions, and SERVICE OF LOVE frequencies for which YOU REALLY ARE.

This process of unplugging, deconditioning….it ALL is held with SO MUCH love and support by the Divine, by Mother Gaia, by your BEloved guides, by your soul family (who is witnessing on the higher soul level), by your sacred union mate (who is WITH you or is waiting), by your higher self (who is embodying into you more and more), by your star family and star BEing aspects…..they are ROOTING for you and want to support you in this process that can be SO Challenging yet inevitable too if it is what you have signed UP for to experience here.

This support and this love from others, from outside can come INSIDE more and more as you feel and heal your inner landscapes…it is the ONLY way to experience a new reality on the outside. A NEW life, a new timeline is calling you into these higher frequencies of emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, and social health, nourishment, and abundance….can you feel it?

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author ofΒ  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder.Β Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.Β Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Going Into Your Darkness To Reveal Your Light

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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To look in the mirror, to REALLY look, is to be OPEN to seeing and feeling inside that which is hard to accept, difficult to love, and most in need of attention. That which lurks in the shadows of your soul, the tight corners of your heart, and the darkest regions of your mind.

Going into this darkness with FULL consciousness is what illuminates the soul spark that you are and reveals the Infinite Love that you are. Going into this darkness with willingness to feel it ALL reveals the Divine light that you are.

Sometimes life will bring you to this darkness and sometimes you will choose it…..whatever way you find yourself there, feel how it is the beginning of the true lifting of the veil that falseness has placed over you. It is the lifting of self delusion that keeps parts of you stuck in suffering and pain.

If you have not had this experience of the crucible of darkness, seek that which will guide you (as we do in SoulFullHeart sessions) in it and through it rather than letting parts of you cling to a light that is but an echo or glimmer of the real thing.

When what is false has been repeatedly burned away in a conscious process which INCLUDES embracement and transmutation of the dark, you can trust the light that emerges from it as being real and a reflection of the Divine spark that you ARE. ~

~

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author ofΒ  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder.Β Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.Β Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Following The Clues That Your Soul Is Offering You

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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β€œEverything is data”….this I like to offer about the awakening and ascending and growing process. Everything that we are drawn to, every movie, every piece of music, every relationship, etc. Everything that we resist. Everything that we resonate with. Everything that we let go of. Everything that we experience in our emotional, spiritual, mental, social, and physical bodies. ALL of it offers us data and information about ourselves, our souls, our emotional bodies, our physical bodies, our healing process, our growth…… if we are willing to LOOK at it and FEEL it from this perspective with curiosity and self love.

There are so many clues and hints and signs that we are given by our higher self and guides/soul aspects. These are like breadcrumbs for us to notice, to pick up, and to follow on our journey to remembering who we ARE as SOULS here. These are like pieces to put together of our puzzle for remembering our essence as multidimensional BEings. None of what we experience is β€˜just coincidence’ as we have been conditioned to believe in 3D reality. ALL of it is part of the BIG picture of the WHO, and the WHY, and the WHAT, and the HOW of our essence expressing here.

Because we chose amnesia and soul forgetting in order to really lean into and inhabit the 3D experiment, we have to become a love detective of sorts for ourselves in order to put the pieces of our soul picture back together again, in order to facilitate our own remembering process again. The love detective energy inside of us is curious……SO CURIOUS about it all and is also WILLING to question everything that we have in our lives from a soul perspective with an openness to let it go if it doesn’t serve our expression AS LOVE.

This love detective energy helps us move out of victimhood because it accepts that we have CHOSEN what we experience as a soul and it ALL serves our growth (no matter how hard or painful it is.) This love detective is building a case for our expression of our soul and is tracking down the clues that SHOW how our souls are peeking out at us ALL THE TIME (sometimes SHOUTING at us actually)….we just need to listen, to feel, and to take in.

Let me offer an example of this that has come up a few times lately in sessions with women. You may feel that your current job or career or business is not really a reflection of your soul. You may consciously feel that it is β€˜dense’ or more β€˜3D’ and very much feel a desire to leave it. However, I invite you to take a moment to feel what your choice of livelihood is reflecting about your expression of soul gifts as it always seems to be, in one way or another, to one degree or another. For example, let’s say you are a salesperson and you have come up with a new way to offer sales….really feeling what the deeper needs of the customers are and they even acknowledge and thank you for this. Your co-workers notice how your approach is different and maybe you are even being invited to become a manager to train others.

This example shows how your soul gifts of being a healer, being empathetic and feeling other people’s feelings, being a teacher and trainer of souls, is all expressing in this job. Is this job the long-term one for you in terms of serving love from a 5D energy? Probably not, but being curious about it from a love detective place offers you clues about WHAT your soul purpose is here and how you might express it. And it gives you a new way to hold it and think about as you transition to more of that soul purpose expression.

Another example comes up around the body symptoms that so many are experiencing related to ascension. There seems to be a collective and universal experience of these body symptoms as our carbon-based bodies transmute to crystalline, 5D light bodies. Many people express and comment and share about these symptoms. Yet, rarely, do they ASK their bodies what the specific symptoms MEAN for them. They often just write it off as β€˜part of the ascension process.’ Yet, the deeper (and more interesting) ground comes up when you ask: What are these symptoms trying to tell you and have you FEEL about your body and also your emotional body and perhaps your chakras too?

Rather than just β€˜asking for guidance’ to your Ethereal guides (which you may relate to as being β€˜outside’ of you), try asking your BODY itself about what is going on. This can be done during meditation through visualization or through written journaling or both. Rather than looking outside for a read out on what is going on with your body or just commiserating about it, feel it for yourself and let some of the clues of your own process come to life for you. Also, listening to and taking in what your body is trying to tell you often greatly relieves, reduces, or cures the symptoms that are occurring.

Most of what I offer is a reflection of self permission for people to become their own love detectives by modeling and templating that for them during sessions, group calls, writings, videos. I am immensely and authentically curious about them and come from this place, often asking more questions than giving reflections (although sometimes that comes through if it is needed.) I offer an example of this because I LIVE this.

Everything is data for me about me in my life…offering a next piece of illumination or possibility for me in my process. A recent example is how I related to sinus congestion and allergy reactions that come and go for me, leaving me feeling β€˜flu-like’. Rather than just saying, β€œI have allergies” (which is the mainstream 3D way to look at the body), I ask myself, β€œWhat are these allergies and nasal congestion connected to? What are they trying to tell me?” And then I go into ALL of my bodies (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, social, chakral) to feel the answers. Sometimes I get more questions (new places to go) then answers, but always I can connect what is manifesting with something related to my process.

Rather than just fusing to the reality as it presents itself, you feel through the deeper meanings to it. This offers so much more magic, healing and love possibilities to your life. And, your love detective gets to respond and discover MORE and MORE, contributing to your arising embodiment of your sacred humanity here with Gaia at this time of great change and transformation.

 

I created a guided meditation to offer soothing energies for the physical body symptoms during ascension and connection with Mother Mary’s (and ultimately YOUR) energy of healing and purification:

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, love ambassador, way-shower, and co-creator and teacher of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author ofΒ  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder.Β Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.Β Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings atΒ https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Feeling Wonder During Ascension Shifts

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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Shifting realities, shifting timelines….sometimes in the same afternoon and even, same hour! Shifting in the clouds too, the ocean, the sun…..today I was at the beach with Gabriel Heartman and we drifted into a zone together of theta waves and no mind, yet not quite asleep. When we first got to the beach, there were quite dense clouds in the sky and when we ‘woke’ up it was clear and bright with very wispy clouds only. I don’t know how much ‘time’ passed but it could not have been long. And the water was glistening, shining, crystalline when we ‘woke up’…my sense (beyond what the mind could ‘know) is that we collapsed a timeline and went into another one. The weather patterns helped us track it but it feels like this is happening ALL the time and more and more as the photonic waves come rolling in and the solar winds too.

So many things like this are happening too during dream states which feel more like astrally ‘working things out’…..clearing karma from other lifetimes AND, I got the sense the other day, actual cellular memory of EVER movie, tv show, song, etc. that we have taken in coming up during sleep to be released. The energy of all these things we have taken in is stored in our cells and has to clear out. I have watched, listened to, taken in A LOT of intense things in my past, so even though I no longer do and am very careful about the energetic frequencies of what I take in….so many years of denser frequencies now needs to come out. You might find this too and probably why we’ve been guided to be very sensitive to websites, tv shows (haven’t watched any in a long time), movies (only porous or good energy), music (solfeggios and meditation music mostly, high frequency)….THIS does feel important as we already have so much clear out, why add more to it?

There is some powerful energy waves available ‘out there’, yet I’m not feeling to subscribe to the sense some others have shared that things are going ‘crazy’ and that many spiritual people, lightworkers, etc. are having a difficult time or falling under the influence of negative entities, lowering their vibrations, etc. I guess I just don’t follow that timeline anymore. I feel SO MUCH love in all this activity….venus in retrograde, solar winds, equinox coming soon….these are shiftings which offer MORE love as support to hold and feel what needs to be felt. Responded to with love (and not anxiety or fear or judgement) does so much to help in the acclimation to it. Sort of like…if you THINK all of these things ‘out there’ will cause you extreme difficulties emotionally, spiritually, and physically then they WILL.

There is much to feel that is in shadow, stored in the 3D pain body, has been numbed out, for many people and within the collective consciousness and unconsciousness. Yet, held with love, at a rate and pace that you can bear, woven with goodness moments and gratitude, it can be navigated with grace, even if you need to ‘hold space’ for difficult things that come up. The willingness and practice to go within, to create a safe and self loving space to feel, will help HUGELY with this process of feeling and healing.

We can serve that process with you too, if you feel that you need and want that. We hold space in SoulFullHeart for the process of feeling and healing the parts of you (both 3D pain body from this life and also soul aspects from other lifetimes) that have pain, fear, suffering, anxiety, depression with love along with serving you to connect with your higher self, angelic and star being guides and aspects…more to read about that atsoulfullheartwayoflife.com.

I just took you into my timeline with me with this writing. Sometimes I wonder how I can even write one word after another when I am not in linear reality. Wish I could go on a ‘wonder walk’ with you, as I call it, where 5D (and probably beyond) consciousness is the lens for which we wonder experience everything we see and feel. Not to bypass feeling but to serve and fill the container that holds the reactions and feelings. You can take yourself on wonder walks though by being in the moment, slowing down, letting your inner child lead, letting your star BEing aspects come in ‘visit’, letting angelic frequencies soar inside, letting time not exist.

Also, what is happening ‘outside’ and ‘in the cosmos’ offers a wonder walk too. It invites a wonder walk on the inside mostly and THEN this shifts and changes what you experience on the outside as the lens is of wonder and infinite possibilities. The shifts in the cosmos are then taken in from this wonder lens too. The timeline of wonder is a WONDERFULL one…I highly recommend it.

Do you see the wonder in this photo that I took of the sky? There is a man, a figure that feels angelic without the wings, in the lower right hand corner where the two orbs are actually. Like the orbs are coming from heart chakra! WonderFULL! AND there is so much more too, whatever you want to see, wish to see, need to see, and are open to see. And in the shape of the sun, which looks like sacred geometry as the rays come through the portal….

Love to you, love to us ALL….we have so much goodness possibilities available in every moment. Believe it and so it IS!

Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc

Being At The Saturation Point Of Love

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment
By Jelelle Awen
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Are you at your saturation point? This is the point at which love has saturated your heart and your soul enough that you tip over into a brand NEW life and experience of life. This kind of love comes from the purity of a healing heart, from the liberating frequencies of a healing soul, from the groundedness of a healing body. This love is beyond lust and beyond duty. This love is risky and catalytic.
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You have taken this love in from resources outside of yourself that you have drawn to you. You have dipped into the pool of this love inside of your own heart by going within during your inner journeys. You have experienced this love with Angels, spirit guides, Divine representatives, star beings. You have immersed yourself often in the waters of this love in whatever forms you could find and draw to you.
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Before the saturation point, what has previously NOT been from this love has still been able to be digested by you somehow. It has been familiar and comfortable to parts of you, your 3D self, and allowed to still exist in your life. It has needed to be there…..whatever it is….relationships, jobs, food choices, etc. It has needed to be there until your heart saturation point is too high and then that which is lower in vibrational frequency can no longer be digested by you.
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This indigestion phase, this time of feeling what no longer works and CAN no longer be in your life, can be difficult and, at times, painful. The parts of you that are attached can bring up protest and resistance and fear. You may feel like you want to β€˜go back’ to how you used to be and maybe, in some ways, you do and for moments.
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Yet, at the saturation point, you are now more motivated by love than you are by suffering. You want more love. You feel if love is in the ground of each person you relate with and if they are saturated too, then love can flow. Often, a person from your β€˜old’ life wants you to stay as you were. You may make the difficult choice of needing space from them while you still love them, while your higher selves can still have a transaction ground together. Taking space is a mercy for them too as your tugging on them in the past to β€˜get it’ or β€˜come along’ relaxes and they can arise and claim their sovereign path.
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At the saturation point, you can no longer β€˜shrink’ to fit any of the relationships in your life, the roles in your life, the duties in your life, the energies or frequencies that are NOT you in your soul and heart essence. Shrinking offers you only crumbs when you want MORE of the full meal that love offers.
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The saturation point invites you to make CHANGES….changes in your exterior world to support the love that you feel inside and want more of. It invites you to be bold, to JUMP IN, to Let Go and Let GOD…..what you may be clinging to out of security becomes an anchor and you release it to free up your energy.
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The saturation point invites you into the unknown, trusting that whatever comes next is from love. Daring to risk, daring to share, daring to be vulnerable, daring to be uncomfortable, and daring to love. Are you at the saturation point because, if you are, the time is NOW.
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If you are still filling up, needing more love to get there and be there…..find this love, let this love in inside of yourself, draw the relationships and community and people who will transact this love with you. Fill up until you reach the saturation point for which love overcomes fear and re-union with your essence is yours.
Jelelle Awen is a writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. VisitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about sessions with her, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Through Your Heart And Soul

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

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Through your heart, you feel the pulse of all life, the love for which all is made…..the portal to compassion.

Through your soul, you remember the stars, your star family, your star seed origins…..the gateway to reunion.

Through your heart, you become self loving and self accepting, love overflowing…..the flow of goodness.

Through your soul, you awaken to your mission and purpose in being here, sharing your gifts…..the service of love.

Through your love, you heal the karmic binds within and with others, the patterns of learning and lessons…..the cycle for growing.

Through your love, you reclaim your sacred humanity, your origins as an aspect of Divine source…..the reason for existence.

Jelelle Awen is an 5D ascension teacher, writer and co-creator/teacher/group facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. VisitΒ soulfullheartwayoflife.comΒ for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Embracing Changes In Your Life As Love Expressing Itself

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

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When you come out the other side, you are unalterably changed.

Life is a continual movement, yes, but I’ll bet that you are feeling change acutely right now.

All of this has to do with the fact that there is something so unexplainable about the magnitude of you, the uniqueness of you, the desires and the mysteries that live inside of you. You know it and you know it can’t be written off as ‘just all ego talking.’ Some impulses are frightening and feel dark and others are pure light. Your world wants to change and all of your being is somehow in on this desire. An unmistakeable and definite storm is brewing.

Yet so often a stasis sets in, and the past seems to want to extrude itself into the future. Storm? What storm?

Questions and aches live unanswered in you. How can I find and flow with this new me that wants to rise? Why does it feel so private? Why does it feel like there isn’t any handrails? Where will I end up if I act on these impulses? Is saying yes to change like lighting a match to a rocket strapped to your butt leaving you in a point-and-shoot without much say in where you end up? ‘So what shall I do?’ you ask.

Let’s let those questions bake a bit and feel into all this some more.

The ground you live on is like an island underneath you. It was once so large, you never even knew it was an island as the theatre of your life supported all of your life movements. But now, a rising tide has narrowed the land mass that undergirds your life. Why would, and how could a life so full,…. become so narrow? Did I do something to displease God? Am I just lacking in gratitude?

Your awareness has grown to see that the land may even be soon completely inundated by water, making the island completely uninhabitable. You’re anxiety grows exponentially with each passing season that you don’t choose and act. Inaction feels more and more like the height of insanity.

I’d like to offer you that there isn’t anything that you could have done or not done to have escaped coming to this juncture in your life. You see, your life is not separate from all of life and all life is now undergoing deep and heightened change. The entire creation is feeling what you are feeling. It shows up differently in each person’s life, but the common denominator in all of this is that love wants to find its way in. Love wants to colour your experience of life. Love wants to intone frequencies of sound and light into your heart to allow your heart to be both a pool of beauty and a re-broadcast centre.

Yeshua said ‘You are a city set on a hill, so don’t try to hide your light under a bushel basket. Let others see your radiance in how you live life and glorify the Christ-consciousness that lives in you.’ There isn’t anything cooler, not in this galaxy or the next one, or what’s considered the most distant one. Love is all in all, through all and to all.

You already know this,…as John the beloved said ‘you need not that any man should teach you, as the spirit teaches you all things.’ Change and knowing how to flow with it intimately is native to you at the core of your being. It is only unfelt parts of you that are resistant to change and seek to maintain life structures that are designed to avoid change. It is important now that you feel these parts of you, get to know them, their needs, and shed their tears. This will change you in that very process, and afford you the courage for the next step, and the next step after that.

If you don’t embrace this time of change, the coming rising tide will still inundate your shrinking island. There is no escaping the times of deep change that are upon us all.

For many, their refusal to accept change even as it sweeps over them will only be about weaving a victims claim that life screwed them over, and then being able to prove that to the world around them, as their personal apocalypse. Life doesn’t want to screw anyone or anything, or you, or any part of you,…over. It cannot in fact. Only you or I in our creative function can make that feel like and look like a reality.

The alternative prospect of instead letting in love, however, is just too much for many at this time. There is nothing wrong with this as seen from a higher level. Each soul is learning profoundly and deeply, regardless of pace. There is no time urgency that says they need to wake up sooner than they are. Each of us needs the time we need in unconsciousness. Even those of us having the deepest awakenings today will come to see these awakenings overshadowed by grander and grander awakenings. Even the soul who deeply chooses to play victim to change is in the midst of profound awakening ultimately, albeit in a longer lease on time. All that really matters to you and I, if we’re wanting to awaken is this question of ‘am I letting in what wants to flow in or am I in more of a stance of resistance?’

Granted, there will be pain to feel if others you are now close with aren’t ready to embrace what is moving for you. But how close in fact are you now, if what is arising in you can’t fit comfortably within the bond? The question ultimately becomes ‘what is the greatest expression of your love to them?’ Leaving a bond by laying down your end of the rope, or by setting others free of an unhealthy grasp is a far higher love expression than efforting keeping them in your life.

No one can ultimately escape your life as we all are so much more connected than we realize. It is because we are so intensely connected with everyone that we need new and arising boundaries (that can let in and let out) in our lives and relationship. Feeling and grieving the loss of a relationship where the ground is narrowed and can’t find a new opening is life moving you and guiding you. The tears you and parts of you have to feel in the process are some of the most alchemical life movements that your soul chose to experience in coming here. You came here to learn about both your individuality and your oneness with all– at the same time no less.

Everything, you see, is all spring loaded to love. You are spring loaded. The universe is spring loaded. It’s so spring loaded that you trying to ‘help’ it only gets in the way most of the time. Acceptance and self-love will gain you so much more mileage while any and all attempts at fixing and bettering yourself will serve only to keep you in a resistance loop to change.

Take a moment and imagine yourself in the most desirable outcome imaginable on the other side of this change that life is offering you. You’ve certainly given yourself to imagining the worst, right? See what it feels like to do the opposite. The best case scenario that you imagine may not be the outcome in terms of the physical details, but if you are feeling loved and supported within that best case imagined scenario, I can tell you that THAT assurance and knowing will be the essence of the outcome that this change wants to bring to your life. What could be better?

Feel that.

Does that feel like your truth or does it just feel like I’m doing a good job on selling you something? Your truth is what matters here, not mine. If you can let in the feeling of being loved and supported, you are finally feeling the difference between being in resonance or dissonance with life and love flow.

Any regrets about all the time it’s taken to reach this point melt away in the presence of this incredible love. If there was available all that time needed to get here, then how much more is there to bask and play in this infinitude of life and love?

Holy shit!? All the shit is holy.

There’s your new cosmology reduced to a few choice words. Tear out that statement of faith at the back of your church hymnal and replace it with this one. Don’t let any facsimile of someone else’s awe and reverence from yesterday be a fill in for your heart bursting in climax with the curiosity and visceral joy that IS you.

Does that lay to rest the questions that we let bake earlier, or at least begin to?

Everything I shared with you today, I shared with you from my side of the same veil we all share. I don’t actually know anything more than you do. If my words resonate for you, that resonance is proof that I am speaking your truth….underline ‘your.’

You just got a wave of your own divine self. Merry Christ-mas.

Let it guide you in feeling and responding to the threatening water surrounding your life island. Let these threats be changed into oceans of love and support and guidance for you in regards to how to set your sails as you let go of your island that life is coaxing you off of.

This is your greatest gift to the world around you. There is nothing passive about letting in this swell of self-love. This is your greatest and most effective activism towards the great evils that abound in our world.

You and I are love. Even if we’re quarrelling, we are this love that is already now in possession of all. I don’t quite know how to conclude this writing…because there isn’t any one fitting conclusion….there is only you letting in love…to you….through you….and back again.

I hope your holiday season is filled with as many moments of self-love as you can handle.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and writer at the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information and inspiration.Β 

Premise 7: Self Love Arises Through Deconditioning, Individuation, and Differientation

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

everyday-self-love-image

Are you ready to go on a moments notice?

Welcome to day seven of the 21 day ‘SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.’ We’ve weathered yesterday’s storm and it looks like some very calm sailing ahead today. You can read the writings I’ve done on the other premises here.

Today, we’re entering the waters of Union With Self, or intimacy with self.

Here’s the Union With Self Premise:

“Union with Self arises through heart and soul consciousness awakening, which includes deconditioning, individuation, and differentiation. This leads to the formation of what we call the SoulFullHeart Self and the state of SoulFullHeartenment.”

Until a deep and abiding union and intimacy with self arises, it isn’t actually possible to have any real union with others, or with life, or with the Divine. Nor is it even possible to know to any significant depth what love is. It all begins and ends with self love.

But, what is this so called, ‘self-love’ really?

Careful how quick you are to answer this question, because a flippant answer in the discomfort of the question can leave you missing out.

Certainly everyone has a concept and even a felt reality of what love is and feels like to some degree. But, until intimacy with self is the portal through which love is experienced, one’s love experience is seriously limited.

Love enters the self and is then expressed through the self. The self is the receiver and broadcaster of love. You can only give what you have and according to the degree that you have, out of the overflow. Moral injunctions to love one another were a great social idea at one time, but now, we are awakening to the futility of seeking love from empty vessels under obligation. Most would agree on these points.

Love is one thing, but what is this self-love that I speak of? How do you know you have it? Is there some measuring stick to locate and measure progress in self-love?

What does it feel like most of the time to be you? To be in your skin? In the face of challenges, great or small, can you find deep and abiding rest?

How does love move from you to you if you are only one? Are you supposed to jump up and down to shake it loose to get it to move to produce some kind of desirable chemical-like reaction inside?

Take all these questions along and let’s feel them together as we go.

Love is a relational flow. Like a valentine, It takes more than one to have a ‘to’ and a ‘from’. Love flows from one to an other. This is profoundly true also of self-love. Self-love is the source of all love in fact. I know of no other way for this to be real other than through getting to know parts of yourself or subpersonalities and their love needs. It is the parts of yourself that hold your pain and wounding on both soul and personal levels.

Many people have worked hard to attain a state of having it all together, and by that are very predisposed to maintaining their emotional equilibrium and consider themselves as knowing and having self-love, given their ‘having their stuff together’ and being some kind of functional exemplary human. I offer that these souls are actually the ones in greatest need and the farthest removed from actual self-love. They need to remain aloof from their own pain and wounding held by parts of themselves in order to keep their gig afloat.

On a more accurate level, these souls have actually had their human life hijacked by what SoulFullHeart calls their Protector-Controller part of themselves and this part has taken up doing their life AS them, and there is largely no authentic self at home, except for a part working too hard at being authentic.

Coming into this new ground of self to self love takes a heart and soul consciousness awakening that is profound and deeply life altering to see the self through this perspective and yet, in another way, it’s so natural and truly effortless compared to the ton of effort it takes to hold what I call our ‘single personality disorder’ together.

To take this road, there are some ongoing requirements however. To get started, you essentially only need choice. To continue, there are some ‘pay as you go’ realities. First up is being comfortable being in a continual place of deconditioning. We live in a conditioned world, and entering a new one involves deconditioning from the old one.

That, of course, is all part of individuation and differentiation. You can only decondition to the degree you are ready to individuate. The collective isn’t going to pat you on the back for long for striking out on your own path, particularly when your path steps on the toes of their path.

Here’s a secret though. Individuation and differentiation do not begin with you and the world, or with you and an other. They begin with you to you. It is only as you get familiar with parts of yourself and the very different relationships to life they hold that true individuation and differentiation can begin to occur. Without this piece, it is a part of you having the differentiation and individuation experience.

It is only as your authentic self, that we call the SoulFullHeart Self, arises into life getting to know, and mediating life’s reality for each of your parts that a new and unheard of relationship to life comes.

Without the SoulFullHeart Self available for your parts, it’s like being one of large group of siblings and a parent present who can’t see your differences, your unique gifts or your unique needs. Essentially, from the perspective of a parts reality, you are not seen at all. Then all there is left is to form a reality of existence that can function in the absence of love. This is where are parts are anchored until we show up for them in this new way.

When you do begin to show up for your parts as a loving parent, you magically transmute into more and more of your authentic self, not only who you would have been without wounding, but the healed self is so much more because of the wounding. It is only the broken heart that knows Infinite Love like no other.

Loving and living life in this frame leads to a non-static ‘state’ that we call SoulFullHeartenment. It is full of movement and deepening and abiding self-love. It is your souls ‘home and native land’ that it hasn’t ever actually experienced or known before. It is totally a creative place.

If you’ve done enough reading and want to get on with a process to live your way into this place, let’s talk. PM me and let’s find a way forward. If you’re wanting to keep window shopping, please, enjoy and take this in as fully as you can. Tomorrow’s tour is about Union with Others and the next day’s is about Union with The Divine. We have another 14 days worth of touring to go with lots more to feel together.

Thank you for your being and letting me take you on this journey.

Raphael Awen is co-creator and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information.

Feeling My Spirit/Matter Split (Part Two): Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

This is part two of Feeling My Spirit/Matter SplitΒ in the Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series. Go here to read part one.

recovering faith

 

By Kathleen Calder

My intention for this writing today is to have you join me in a feeling space around what it means to be β€œseparate”. What comes to you when you think about separation? A recent break-up or completion with a beloved? The day your mother/father/other family member died? The day you left for college or moved out of your childhood home in general?

Each movement and phase of life often involves a death and rebirth cycle that can encompass some sort of separation being necessary. Of course the very first separation we viscerally experience in our lives comes at the very beginning – the moment we emerge from our mother’s womb. The very first tears we cry are often in this moment, feeling the separation from our warm gestation place and mourning the chance to be the closest to our mother that we ever will be. For the first time, we can feel sensations in our bodies of a changing need for our adaptation and therefore survival. We are still dependent, but we have exited from an intense phase of being held by something bigger than us. We now must begin to build our muscle tone, our dexterity, and, beyond the physical, we must also start developing our emotional bodies, for once again we have been born into this dense and often difficult environment which we call life on Earth (as we know it today, anyway).

As each new skill learned and new emotion is discovered and felt for the first time, we start to develop a digestive system within us and a new way of processing data that needs less and less help (ideally) from our caregivers as we go along. With each new chapter of our lives, we let go more and more of (or desperately try to cling to in denial of our need for change) those pieces of our life that once represented who we were and can no longer stay with us as we continue to grow. Like a child constantly outgrowing their clothes, we too are meant to outgrow relationships in which the person can’t or won’t make the choice to come with us or vice versa, and the β€œclothes” (or, sadly and more commonly, armor) we have tried on in order to reflect, avoid, or defend our emotional realities.

We are meant to gestate over and over again and birth out into a new world just the same. We are meant to have help digesting the β€œfood” others give us to help us grow, both consciously and unconsciously. We are meant to cry out if we feel neglected in any way, or as if there is a lack of love flow in our lives. We are meant to ache out the pain of our separation from the original source of Infinite Love in infinite supply. Only then, in my experience, can we begin to feel that though the fog may feel thick sometimes, we are always connected by a Divine umbilical cord. This is not an ideology. To me, it feels like simple fact. And yes, I and parts of me, are still letting that in.

This, to me, is the core of where our Spirit/Matter split lies. It is certainly the core of mine. I truly feel that my soul has been around and around this world and each time that the original and at times insurmountable feeling of being separate from the Divine must be felt through again with the first breaths of a new life beginning, has been harder and harder. At times parts of me have reacted to this by going so far into Matter that it β€œmatters” more than Spirit possibly could. After all, it is the more relatable place to be in for most human relationships…perhaps because deep in our souls and hearts we are aching out the same pain of the original separation and just want to avoid feeling it as much as we can.

There have also been times in my life where parts of me have tried to lean so far into Spirit that the art of responding to life and at least the Matter that really β€œmatters” got waylaid. This over-leaning into Spirit led me into a sort of constant depression and heaviness inside me as parts of me reluctantly walked through heartbreak, loss, and disappointment, fixating on the pain and not the goodness of life, as if throwing some sort of tantrum and saying, β€œLook Divine Mom and Dad! Look at how miserable I am! I shouldn’t be here! Take me home, please!”

This sort of stark split isn’t the easiest life theme to work. I am grateful to be awake enough to it that I can feel and begin to understand how my parts formed around it and why they have the reactions they do. There is still some deep pain inside me about living out another life on Earth, especially during this dark time for humanity, but at least now I am equipped to feel it through and ache it out consciously instead of having it play out in the same pattern it has until now. Perhaps it will still need to play out in some ways that are similar to how it has done so in the past, but I can trust that if that comes up, there is something more I need to look at and feel about it.

Spirit and Matter may feel like opposites at times, but really they seem to be meant to work together. We are meant to ground into Matter while opening up to Spirit and engaging in all of this with others in conscious and sacred friendship and community. Sadly, not many of us are raised to feel that both are equally important. We wouldn’t need to be here if Matter didn’t have something to offer the Spirit within and around us.

As I continue to write this, I feel how I am writing in the world of Matter through Matter’s means, while connecting to and channeling Spirit. Spirit can come through because of this conduit of β€œme”. Right now Spirit is communicating through my heart, my brain, my language of English, the keyboard I am typing with, the computer that is holding and hosting this document, and eventually the World Wide Web where these words will be posted. And this is only one way in which to try and communicate what I am communicating. Β There are myriad other ways in which Spirit tries to reach us and show us that Matter is not all there is or all we need. Sometimes that message can only come through severe accidents or diseases or just at the very end of a life…but then again, it also comes to us through orgasm, deep connection with others, deep and prioritized connection with ourselves, and each and every time we find ourselves awed or humbled by nature itself in any form.Β  There is no difference between any of these experiences, except method and form. Spirit is there. Matter is there also. One cannot be found without the other, just as we ourselves are an embodiment of both.

It feels like Spirit has enjoyed expressing through me today, regardless of how deeply it can actually land its message in you through me. I am but one messenger and one pipeline. And in truth, this sense of a split that needs acknowledge and healing is such a sovereign, personal, and sacred process to be in, that whatever path you are walking right now is your own expression of it. Maybe one day our paths will align, and if they do, I will be there to walk this healing path with you in whatever way we are meant to do so together.

 

Kathleen Calder is an initiate at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and you can read more of her writing here on this blog. Please visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary for more information about staying with us and virtual sessions