Category: Inner Protector

We Want To Belong Without Feeling Trapped

Published on by Raphael Awen3 Comments

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By Raphael Awen

‘But, I don’t want to sign up for your deal!’

While it’s true that by nature, we don’t want to be trapped, it’s also true that we want to belong.

We want to belong without feeling trapped. This however means different things for different parts of us. If you are at a phase in life where your Inner child is showing up in our emotional body, then there’s likely going to be a deep desire rumbling through you to find and maintain a sense of home socially, a family in which to belong. If however, a Protector Part of us is running the show, as they often are, there can be a sizable protest around belonging to anything. The internal civil war we are left with really explains the shut down so many people live in.

I found myself usually wanting to go deeper into the family at hand I found myself in, and then deeply wanted to change it, until that felt controlling or too pushy and then I was left with leaving, without anywhere else to go. Eventually, however, my soul has always brought me to a new place of home and family, even if that meant creating one from scratch.

What I’ve learned for myself is that none of us really get to not be a part of something. Even the choice to be alone and live like a hermit, is a choice to tune into an archetypal frequency, a belonging of sorts to a community of non-belongers who share commonalities.

I like to say that none of us in this way is exempt from belonging to cults and cultures, we only are able to take responsibility for the cults we choose to be a part of. You get to pick your cult(s), you just don’t get to pick whether you will participate in cults or not! ‘Cult’ is the perfect charged word to describe this too, because it gets us to see how deeply the subconscious ways of life we all participate in shape and dictate our lives.

Coming back to the bigger mysterious picture of who and what we are, It’s like we are individual and that individuality also both dissolves and is manifest in every moment through oneness. We are paradoxically one while we are individual. Talk about being roped into something! Belonging! We are all doing something very similar at a deep core level. Hence our needs for often vain attempts at differentiation through labels and brands. It’s only when our higher self shows up more and more that a consciousness awakening to this ‘what is’ can occur, and we can then take responsibility for our innate needs around belonging. If I can’t actually ‘not-belong’, then I can consciously choose and feel all the what’s, why’s and how’s of my belonging.

This is also true on the personal level of our emotional body, as an individual. What we think of as simply us, and feel to be us is actually just the active part of us in any moment thinking and emoting through us, in the absence of any higher us; a healthy parent kind of us to offer real relationship. What we are left with can be likened to a band of teenagers running the household in the absence of any loving and heart open true parental presence. Even these parts of us form a working club or family of belonging, a hierarchy of roles and means to survive complete with valiant attempts at getting needs met. Even the most obviously dysfunctional among us are really amazing multi-dimensional beings who find a way to function where there simply was no way.

‘We’ are also ‘the one’ who is comprised of ‘the many’, who awaits a higher consciousness to arise that can hold an ambassadorship to the outermost regions of our being.

This is our true belonging, where any deal we sign up for, even if it ends painfully, cannot take away from us, but only add to us, as we now live from an emerging true sovereignty of being. Our vulnerability is now returned to us as our greatest gift.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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Holding Space With Loving Presence For Your Most Tender Processes

Published on by Jelelle Awen2 Comments
By Jelelle Awen
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It seems to be about the tender feelings and processes lately…going into the vulnerable places, the previously hidden nooks and crannies of our emotional and soul bodies. If you are feeling a lot, things you haven’t felt in awhile or at a deeper level or brand NEW textures that come from a core place within, the invitation is to go within and accept with love and curiosity what wants to come up and be felt. The high vibe cosmic Divine frequencies coming in since the beginning of the year and especially the last couple of months water us with love so that we CAN be with our pains and our vulnerabilities. The high makes room for the low; the up allows for the down.

I am feeling this too and have been holding space to feel the root cause within me of a seemingly universal wound around being unwanted and rejected by 3D life AT birth and even in the womb. I have been reliving my first weeks after birth and being with in loving presence my baby self. I was six weeks premature, so my first experiences of 3D life were spent in an incubator, under artificial lighting, in a clinical hospital environment without my parents around. My baby self was touched very little by human hands, yet I am remembering how spirit guides and Mother Mary were lovingly around as my soul made a choice whether to leave or to stay. It was very tempting to leave and I felt the textures of that in my emotional body recently, the visceral feelings of it, which years of parts work process have given me access to as I have cleared out and healed much else that I have experienced here within my 3D self.

I surrendered to this emotional healing journey as I know and trust it will bring the gifts of deeper incarnation here, a fuller choice to BE HERE NOW and will serve the ascension process of bringing my sacred humanity/higher self into my human body. Thank the Divine for parts work and the SoulFullHeart process that allows for a bridge to the unknown/emotional body/unconscious mind and the constant self permission/support of my beloveds to go where is needed within me.

So much can be used to avoid feeling, as you’ve been trained in 3D living to distract, divert, and disconnect from your feeling states and emotional body. Your beloved spiritual practices and even the constant care and feeding of high vibe frequency states can be used this way. Often this is a protective part of you that is using spiritual vibes to bypass or avoid going into uncomfortable feeling states. This part of you may not feel that you could ‘handle’ to feel your own pain or to relive the places again that remain undigested in your emotional body. Negotiation and connection with this Protector inside of you as a separate part of you, such as what we offer in the SoulFullHeart process, invites this part to JOIN you in the healing exploration, to reveal to you what needs your love and attention.

You have this tremendous capacity to feel it ALL as is contained in your sacred human heart, a fractal capacity expression from Infinite Love Divine Source. Huge potential within your heart to act as your own midwife, parent, and healer. The depths of compassion, forgiveness, and responsiveness that you can feel toward YOURSELF are limitless………as are the gifts that this self love alchemy gives you every time that you are willing to go within to offer your love where it is most needed.

We now offer a free intro session to give you a sense and taste of the SoulFullHeart process that empowers your capacity to hold and respond to yourself, negotiate with the protector and other 3D aspects, and receive loving support along the way.

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

The Walled Off War Within

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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Follow on this well-worn path

The one you have known so well

The one that keeps you safe in the trenches of the battles that wage inside

There is a wall around this war-torn land that keeps it all intact

The players that play their role so well

To keep the whole gig going

But it is wearing thin this hallowed shield of your deepest truths and pains

It is seeing the tide rise where love has constantly laid its eyes upon

Your most needed, starved, and hidden children

The dam holds tight as it clings to the only duty it has had

To prevent the flood of our long held stories with tattered pages in tact

There is a time where we feel the moment has come to let the partition down

To see what happens differently than what has already been written a thousand times

What new change of weathered course sets you up to Higher Ground

To make new peace within your heart and set sail for lands anew

To grieve the life once lived yet never felt alive

The walls come down yet boundary remains

As the love that has replaced the war is the very thing to keep you safe

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

The Wealth Of Your Woundedness

Published on by Jelelle Awen5 Comments

By Jelelle Awen

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The preciousness of your vulnerability…that which is often hidden away, like a buried treasure within your emotional body. Buried to keep it safe by the part of you that protects and guards and has ALWAYS needed to since you came here to 3D life and confronted the harshness of separation and duality.

The tenderness of your pain…that which expresses in tears that you may hide behind your hands or save for private and alone times to express and still do. Learning to cry without sound as a child or teenager, preferring to let it out in the sanctuary of your bedroom or other private space.

The wealth of your woundedness…that which can feel like a curse or a burden to parts of you, yet actually contains gifts, these textures of previously undigested traumas opening up rich landscapes of feeling, inspiration, compassion for yourself and others.

All these previously hidden things are looking for the light of your day to shine on them. Inviting them out of the shadows, to be embraced, cared for, and SEEN. Your beloved and loyal protector showing you where they have been buried, so you can feel and heal together. Divine energies, Divine mama and Divine papa when needed, create the safety, offering the right timings and phases, the supportive container within to hold the emotive explorations.

Your higher self and soul coming into your body…coming in to infuse you with courage for the journey into the deeper depths of densities and suppressed feelings in your emotional body and in your Metasoul/other lifetimes. The bliss of this soul reunion allows for the downward digging that grounds in the higher frequencies into your heart.

The wealth of your woundedness…..the repeated beacon of your pain that is triggered by crashing romances, clashing relationships, conflicts and tensions, changes and transitions. Life continually bringing you ALL that you need to heal if you will just accept it as such and turn inward to see what it is offering you about you. The beacon of your pain calls you to go within; it calls you to discover the inner treasures; it calls you to return home to yourself over and over again.

~

Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond . Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about a FREE intro session with a SoulFullHeart facilitator, group calls, videos, retreats, etc.

The Role Of Your Inner Protector

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

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Artwork: The Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog by Caspar David Friedrich

A voice inside that tells you to be careful, and may even encourage you to have your guard so ‘up’ that relaxation feels impossible. A feeling of complete or nearly complete distrust of anyone, maybe even without much explanation or logical reasoning. A heightened sense of needing to protect yourself, that in some ways you may be so used to feeling that it becomes unconscious when it comes up and it comes up so automatically most of the time. A sense that there is a lot ‘out there’ to be wary of in terms of 3D dangers in your everyday life, but also in terms of ‘psychic attacks’ and ‘influences’.

This is the experience of having a sharp and astute Inner Protector, always at the ready, always standing at the helm, always on the lookout. There isn’t much room for feminine softness in this picture if you are a woman, or vulnerable sharing of your inner world if you are a man. There is a sense of finding ways to be in control of the situation you’re in, no matter what, even though underneath that you may feel the rumblings of actually feeling quite the opposite most of the time. In women, this energy tends to express as quite masculine, sometimes calling itself a ‘goddess’ or ‘warrior woman’. In men, this energy tends to express as overly ‘masculine’ in a way that is direct without heart, and penetrative without feeling. In both camps, there is so little vulnerability accessible, that it can feel impossible to feel anything but defensive in interactions with others.  Maybe when you are at home alone can you finally let this guard down and just be… yet for those of you who have families or a husband or wife, maybe this guard never really drops or relaxes to make room for a real ground of intimacy and love transaction with others.

Your Inner Protector has so needed to be there. In all of those interactions you had as a child, it began picking up on strategies other Inner Protectors were using, ways to control you and other parts of you, while also perhaps controlling others, however, whenever possible. Feeling offended or the need to defend against something that has been said or someone who you’re interacting with is so often a knee-jerk, automated sort of reaction from this part of you. This part has needed to be this way in a world that encourages either intense defenses and fear for one reason or other, or the complete dropping of all protection in order to access sexual or etheric experiences that you are told you are ‘supposed to’ get to. You may gravitate towards peak experiences like taking Ayahuasca or Peyote or other less natural drugs, or workshops and retreats that get you out of the normal day-to-day grind in order to elevate above the protection and find something different. The protection can be a veil on different levels of your being, wanting to keep you from feeling, from accessing YOU and your parts in a deeper way, which would lead to a more profound awakening experience.

As you heal, the need for a strong Inner Protector lessens and dissipates. Impenetrable walls and defensive reactivity turn into healthy, porous boundaries held with love and self-worth. The Protector changes form, helping you to transform as well, allowing for greater, sweeter intimacy with self and others that may challenge you in good ways at times. Ultimately it’s a process of letting more love in, for that is really what the Inner Protector is afraid of… love flowing into you and permanently changing all that it has worked to maintain up ’til now.

If you would like to perhaps try and meet your Inner Protector, you can listen to this SoulFullHeart group call and also try the meditation:  https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

If you feel you’d like to venture further into this energy, we offer ongoing sessions and a profound process around getting to know and healing your protector and other parts of you: www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

From my heart to yours, sending lots of love to your Inner Protector and all they’ve held and continue to hold… ❤

 

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.