Navigating The Confluence Of Change

Just now recovering from one of the worst ‘flus’ in a long time. This tends to occur for me when going through lots of life changes at once. I have also recognized that it was at the confluence of the last 9 days, 9 months, and 9 years. Very catalytic and life-changing cycles all ending at one point. BOOOSH!!
 
It felt like I got hit by a Mack truck with symptoms all over the map, head to toe (including the teeth…a part of me needs to say.) I could feel how much my poor body has held this life and clearly in other lives. I have become more aware of it but this particular convergence really highlighted it.
 
I have come across so much darkness and suffering in myself and my soul over these cycles. I have also found more light & love than I ever expected to be privy to in one lifetime. This can be a challenge for the body to integrate in such a short period of time. I experienced myself differently during the past SFH Equinox gathering in a way that I haven’t fully assimilated yet. This brings up its own shadow/fear/excitement response. It needs to come up if I am going to continue to serve Love those I am meant to serve.
 
I saw my power. My gift. My desire to serve others, crossing territory that, in some ways, my soul has spent a millennia in. I felt the uniqueness of myself as a man, however I choose to define that. I have a sacred role. Not out of a duty but as a passion to create bridges into the New. I felt a growing closeness to and love for my feminine that continues to blossom everyday. I don’t know how I could do this without her.
 
I found a feminine star seed that I am just starting to tap into that I feel as a priceless gift to bestow upon me when the time is ripe. There are codes floating all around waiting for their landing pad. This is an exciting new frontier for all of me. The coming together of the Dark codes and the Light codes. They all have a role to play within us.
 
I am releasing a lot of my past relationship with Kalayna which has been a big catalyst for this rumble. So many gifts that I have been mining from the letting go. One being a revived relationship with my inner teenager and feeling his energetic bind with Mom that needed more purging.
 
On the physical level, a big detox of all the drugs, alcohol, and smoke that I consumed up until I started this journey 9 years ago.
 
Thanks for taking this in with me. I needed to unpack this a bit for myself and yet I felt to share as it may serve in its own way. It is both a personal chronicling and a shared experience.
 
We are all in a time of great change. How we are with those changes greatly influence how we move through them and where we land on the other side.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Becoming The Author Of Your Own Story

By Raphael Awen

When you are no longer controlled by outside forces, you are the author, possessing the author-ity for what your life is about.

Becoming the Sovereign of your own life in this way is a scary proposition as it leaves us completely responsible for own lives, leaving us the challenge of owning all of our lives – all that’s in our lives, and all of our lifetimes.

There’s no one to blame. There’s no circumstance to point the finger at; no lot in life, that doesn’t originate in you.

The idea of having whatever you want is only novel and exciting until you realize that’s what actually been going on this whole time. The challenge is coming to terms with your authorship, deciding the story that you actually want; deciding and negotiating between the parts of you that want different things.

You are not your circumstances. You are not your relationships. You are not your job. You are not your bank balance. You are not even your health. You created all of that, but you are not that.

You are the creator.

Maybe like me, you set your sights on healing your anxiety or your depression. You did that, only to realize this was much to small a goal for the Sovereign you actually are. No longer being in the depths of anxiety or depression is nice, but that alone can’t fill the expansive sails of your being.

You are called to experience yourself in continual curiosity and childlike wonder and learning. You are ever called to more.

What does your more look like? What is wanting to mature and manifest in your life, in your world, in your magical story?

What have parts of you been afraid of, in order to enact the changes that you know are ripening in your story?

How can you lovingly reconcile and negotiate these inner differences?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Door To Our Inner Garden

By Raphael Awen

And for how long we longed after some door external to us to find our magic, our light, our sparkle, when the door was in our own inner garden all along. 

If this is true, then what seems to predispose us all to look outward or to an other?

We have been convinced that the self is ‘selfish,’ an inherently bad word and a very bad thing, when in truth until you become truly and deeply selfish, youcan in no wise inherit the kingdom of God, for this kingdom and queendom is inside you.

To be fully selfish is to do and be what brings you the fullest and deepest pleasure. How could that not be to the fullest and deepest pleasure of all of life and every living thing around you.

Shortchanging yourself is shortchanging the world and everyone around you. 

Your problem isn’t that you are self centred, it is that you are not centred in yourself enough to the true degree and depths of that which you really are and with what you really want. 

Give up the pretence that you have no self-interest for when in fact, as a self, that is all you have.

Show me your most noble self-less act, and then show me how you are not deriving a personal return from it. 

Until we reconcile this inside of ourselves, the door to our own inner garden of our magic remains sealed.

How could it be any different?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Falling IN Love

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

By Raianna Shai

In the past few weeks I have been trying to find the space and time to write a blog post, finding that I have struggled to “force” something profound and meaningful out of me when sometimes just living is as profound as you need to be in any moment. I have so much desire to serve love to others and to share what I learn on my awakening journey. Even now, I have many ideas of what I could write about but the words aren’t flowing as easily as they have in the past.

So as I sit here with an open heart, energy and time, I decided just to write about where I am currently in my life. That is what’s most authentic and flows from my heart with ease.

Right now I am falling in love. With myself, with other, with my life and family. I am falling in love inside and outside. I am growing and changing and facing my fears as much as I possibly can to continue letting in all of this love.

My inner process has been focused on a feminine and masculine part of me who are also learning to fall in love. They both have desires, needs, boundaries and fears. My feminine part, who I am calling Shai, is emotional and passionate and a true romantic at heart. My masculine part, named Michael, is discerning, intelligent and has a gift of holding 3D tasks. Together, they are balanced and full of love. Apart, they are opposite forces working against one another creating fear, anxiety and projection onto others.

Because of the abundance of goodness in my life right now, I have been focusing on these two parts in order to be able to continue letting it all in. It’s easy for parts to get scared when things are going well. In a dimension where things tend to “go wrong”, we can make predictions ahead of time of what may not work or what we might lose. In that, we lose the moment. We lose what we have in the present and we don’t get everything out of it that we could.

I’m working on not expecting the worse. On not bracing myself for the impact of something bad. But first, I feel the parts that do expect the worst and discover why that is. The more that Shai and Michael vulnerably share their fears with me, the more they will fall in love and fall in tandem with one another. That’s when their gifts can shine and that love can be shared with others.

We talk about inner sacred union a lot for a reason. It’s so important to start within. To grow the glow of love so brightly that it shines through every pore and into those around you.

*****

I found this poem from almost two years ago that I thought was fitting for this! It’s from my masculine too my feminine:

I always thought I was different than the other men

More sensitive

More emotional

More mature

 

I thought I was protecting you from the other men

Giving you edges

Hiding your feelings

Numbing your reactions

 

I thought you’d be hurt by the other men

They would crack you into pieces

They would scratch your porcelain skin

They would break your fragile heart

 

But now I see your strength as a woman

Your compassion

Your empathetic prowess

Your stillness and energy, both

 

I thought I could hide you as a woman

Under formless clothing

Under quick-witted comebacks

Under disinterest in romance

 

Maybe now I can support you as a woman

Become the mind to your heart

Become the here to your now

Become the pot to your plant

 

I’m not meant to be your guard,

But instead your partner

Your partner in this dance

Few know the steps to

 

Where our rhythms match,

Our hearts unite

And our souls release the energy

Of every star in the nighttime sky

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Choosing To Forget

By Raphael Awen

You’ve chosen to forget.

The desire, the rate and pace, the content of what and how you remember is also a choice.

A dynamic and powerful part of you has been assigned to hold this tension of what needs to remain in the forgotten category and what is safe and timely to be remembered. We could call this part of you, your Gatekeeper, the guardian of the necessary veil who enabled and afforded you to inhabit this desired third dimensional school without imploding.

It’s been a bit of a family joke for those that know me to have a little fun with my forgetfulness around movies. I’ve tended strongly to forget titles, story lines, and often only recall a movie I’m watching for the second time part way into the movie. It’s not all movies as some story lines made profound impacts and memories. Other movies, however, who people around me found interesting enough, I often even fell asleep to while watching.

I asked my Gatekeeper whose name is Rhodes about this, this morning and immediately my awareness expanded out that this forgetfulness of story has directly to do with the strength of the veil that I chose and needed this life. Even with Rhodes himself along with stories of my Metasoul aspects and their timelines, I’ve had trouble recalling some time following after having deep and profound processes of remembering. It would simply get swallowed back up into a sea of a kind of a sea of forgetfulness.

Rhodes communicated today that the strength of other timelines stories needed to have sufficient veil in order that the purpose of this timeline be protected. As I’m awakening, however, this movie amnesia, whether it’s about movies or about my soul history, or even this life history, is making other parts of me feel self conscious. They want to get on with remembering. Remembering, they feel is the answer to what is ached for, and the answer to where parts of me feel, I and they still experience suffering.

I’m told that forgetting is a kind of suffering, a burden to bear, if you will, that we all chose, collectively and individually as a service to the goals and desires of love. Forgetting is not static however. Forgetting is for the purpose of remembering. We hid our own Easter eggs and we wrapped our own Christmas presents. We forgot in order to remember.

I’m told that remembering is ’to be returned to being a member’, after surrendering to a kind of dismemberment from love. The forgetting had its own pains as does remembering, like blood returning to a limb that fell asleep.

I’m told that the whole purpose of forgetting and remembering was to expand love from its original perfect/imperfect state. Love itself wanted to be noticed and to be revered. It birthed duality as a place to get noticed, seen and appreciated.

Getting to know and feel this magical part of you who’s been your personal Gatekeeper is now your opportunity to negotiate the rate and pace and content of your awakening as you lovingly guide yourself and other parts of yourself through this epic journey.

Story lines from other timelines in your Metasoul await you to be felt and seen and transmuted into love. Karma itself also wants to be transmuted from the expectation of pain to the expectation of bounty and love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Choose Your Higher Timeline And It WILL Choose You

By Jelelle Awen

These strong energies of LOVE frequencies recently are helping with a sorting out faster now. More rapidly with more clarity, sometimes fuelled by heart and soul vision. Sometimes fuelled by frustration and wanting to end the pain and suffering. What to commit to more deeply and what to let go is becoming clearer in all areas of your life. Where to put your energy, where to invest your time. What to go into as it serves what you most want and your service of love VISION…..and what to release as it doesn’t reflect that envisioning may becoming more clear for you.

With the activation of your highest timeline during this intense energy month of August and especially during the recent eclipses and Lion’s Gateway, the downloads so freely available and gifted to you…..you are then given the choice in every moment to live it out or to retract away from it. To move it forward or to pause. ALL of this is your sacred choice, although the highest timeline choices are the ones that most serve the manifestation of New Earth reality for yourself inside and for the collective.

More overlap seems to be happening between these processes of collapsing timelines and arising timelines with less gap and pause. Meaning, you are feeling increasing desire and clarity WHILE the old is falling away. The new is coming in WHILE the old is moving out. The energies of mourning and celebration coming together, weaving, and operating in the same moment sometimes. Bittersweetness.

Parts of you may be feeling the sweetness while other parts of you are feeling the bitter. Being with the different energies AS parts can help with the overwhelm that can grow inside over these divergent frequencies. Checking in with your higher self and higher guides/aspects can be hugely helpful in this process too.

Asking to reconnect with and feel your highest timeline can infuse it into your body and flush up in your emotional body the parts of you that may have fear, resistance, and doubt. Feeling and holding space for the fear and doubts too that come up as you let in the higher timeline.

Continually claiming the higher timeline and not falling back into 3D anchoring is not easy at times. Yet, in another way, it IS what you will do eventually as the higher timeline you and your higher timeline life are ALREADY happening. You are in the process of catching up with it….how quickly or slowly that happens or if it even does this life is UP to you.

Choosing the higher timeline is what love wants you to do and BE, so the more love you can feel with yourself and with your parts, the more support you will feel to live it out in the Now and NOT delay it. Bridging the gap between THIS now and THAT now is where the challenge is and feeling all that comes up in this walking out.

The higher timeline is waiting for you AND it is available in this very moment to be claimed, tasted, moved toward, lived and, most of all, loved! Choose it…and it will choose YOU!

Here is a guided meditation to connect to your higher timeline:

 

Jelelle Awen
soulfullheartwayoflife.com

Unedited Photo taken by Raianna Shai in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico…

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Class Action Love Suit

By Raphael Awen

Anxiety and depression coming up are at first seen to be related to how one feels about this life.

Looking deeper and feeling deeper, one can see how these feelings also stem from the Metasoul – Mirroring aspects of our wider self, in other timelines often holding karmic binds, an expectation of things going wrong.

Karma’s whole point was to bring us to remorse and reconciliation from this polarized extremity and duality of living as if one could harm an other and reframe from harming self.

Feeling the deeper soul’s sorry, one moves the karmic binds from a kind of class action law suit arrayed against you, to a kind of class action love suit, where victim and perpetrator recreate and rewrite the story to one of deep love through the inseparable bond of karma.

I felt this while feeling my Atlantean Metasoul aspect today, who I’ve come to know as Mordecai. At first, it was simply a heightened energy of fearing outcomes. I even had a moment of ‘for no reason’, fearing the car breaking down while driving yesterday, along with other feelings of circumstances turning negative. I was able to feel into this karmic expectation backlash that this was about the reality that Mordecai created for himself, and to feel this all with him and create a new unfolding timeline of deep remorse, asking forgiveness, receiving it and now allowing for the Karmic binds to be transformed into alchemical Karmic love binds.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Being In The Void Space As You Move From 3D To 4D

By Jelelle Awen

The void space….the space ‘left behind’ when your soul wakes up inside of your 3D life and your consciousness shifts into fourth dimensional (4D) and you make choices to align with your soul frequency. I feel 4D as a consciousness phase of much sorting through, learning and re-education about the ‘real’ world from the one you’ve been taught. It is a phase of seeing the false matrix and understanding WHY it has been chosen and feeling its impact on your reality and unplugging from it. 4D waters your ‘rebel’ and the void is what happens as you push away from 3D.

The void is the space that happens when you let go of something you don’t want in order to let in more of what you do but the something new hasn’t come quite yet or not consistently. In this void, you are no longer your 3D version of who you used to be and yet you are not yet your 5D/higher self coming into your body version that you most want to be either. You are in transition and in between, moving back and forth between the ‘worlds’ and riding the waves of consciousness states related to this.

The void space is what arises as your higher self and soul lead you through the awakening process of deconstruction, dismantling what has been to allow what wants to BE to arise into your life. In this process of deconstruction, you are letting go of 3D beliefs and ideas, you are sloughing off conditionings that no longer fit. This can be a VERY painful process at times as so many parts of you are identified with and attached to these 3D energies and the emotional body purges out all you’ve ingested as you detach. Of course parts of you are attached to 3D because they have HAD to be in order to survive in the dense 3D experiment that you signed up for to grow and to learn.

This attachment to 3D frequencies can especially be felt in ‘long-term relationships’ that have run out of resonant ground, yet continue on from mostly past energies and associations. These relationships can provide an anchor into 3D that feels safe and good to parts of you (especially younger aspects such as the Inner Child and Inner Teenager) as these are the dominant energies that have needed them.

The void comes from completing relationships like this, from moving on from 3D-based careers and businesses, from leaving familiar geographies, from shifting livelihood means. The impact of these choices is your process for quite awhile…the mourning, the negotiating, the eventual letting go. The letting go and more letting go as feelings of isolation, rejection, abandonment, unworthiness, disconnect all come UP from your emotional body to be felt with each movement.

So, then, what is meant to come and FILL this void and this space that has been freed up from all this letting go? When SO MUCH has been let go of…….then WHAT?

This has come up many times in sessions as a response to souls who have so courageously given up and completed what hasn’t felt like them as they integrate their soul awakenings into their world. And, then, the ‘now what?’ comes up as a pressing question because they may feel the completion of the lone wolf phase and their cozy cave existence that they have so needed to be in while they went through this 4D deconstruction.

However, remaining too long in the void while feeling loneliness or blocked by anxiety about moving on or existential tensions (fear to move into surrender of the Divine) or stuck in scarcity or lack (which comes naturally as you let go especially of 3D secure money earning) may keep you stuck or capped in your growth if it continues on without inner negotiation.

I’m sharing about this as I feel many souls may be at this place in the moment. I WAS at this place of void many times in my awakening journey where ‘now what?’ was the pressing question. Some souls may be here after many years of letting go and the ‘being in two worlds’ reality. Surrendering into what love wants to bring you now and where it wants to bring you comes from negotiation and feeling with the parts of you that are afraid, stuck, tense, anxious about moving out of the void and into the NEW.

Ultimately, we are invited to let go in order to then let in. Love wants to come and fill this VOID now. Love wants to move you into your HIGHEST reality in all moments. Love wants to fill the void that you’ve created by your soul choices. Love in the form of sacred union relationships with a mate, with friendships, with commUNITY. In the form of service of love in the soul purpose form that you are meant to offer it and then receive abundance in exchange for offering it. In the form of sharing your gifts with the world in the ways you are called to and letting in gifts in return. In the form of giving love and receiving love in transactions that serve love.

Moving into receiving mode and sharing mode is the next place beyond the void where you are FILLING up again….only, this time, with the most nourishing frequencies of LOVE!!

There is more in this article about the 3D/4D/5D selves in expression in the seven key areas of life that may help you identify how your 4D transition is playing out: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

Jelelle Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.com
We offer the letting in of love through sessions, group calls, retreats/gatherings, community: soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Lion’s Gate Completes With Many Gifts Offered

By Jelelle Awen

This Lioness Queen is going on a four day vacation to our beloved Salt Spring Island with her Lion King today….feels so appropriate on the ‘last’ night of the Lion’s Gate opening. The energies continue to download and activate from Sirius always and in all ways, I’m told, all you have to do is connect with your aspect from there as I’ve been doing with mine called Sela these last days.

I really feel that these days of the Lion’s Gate have been marked by a specialness, an acceleration of our personal processes AND the collective process….Ascension Christmas! I personally have received many gifts of rebooting, clarifying, support, validation, and huge waves of love energy as a reflection of goodness about what I am offering through SoulFullHeart as my service of love offering to the world.

And. there were raw but really good processes in there too for Raphael and me as we open up into a deeper level of co-leadership of SoulFullHeart going forward, completing a seven year cycle of its inception and seeding phase. We cleared a deeper karmic pattern between us in a specific metasoul timeline/lifetime that has been conscious between us for many years. With this clearing, there is more space for our collaboration and also individual passions to arise as we move into the next seven year cycle together.

We got to host two groups together during Lion’s Gate, one here in Victoria, BC and one on zoom…giving us more sense of our higher timeline serving love together from the overflow of our sacred union. You can purchase the recording of our powerful Lion’s Gate group transmission from 8/8 here btw if you want to take it in: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

Changes in eating patterns, changes in sleeping patterns, changes in relationship patterns, changes in passion purpose expression……perhaps you experienced some or all of these during this lion/lioness’ time. These changes all seem to support the enLIGHTenment of our hearts, souls, minds, and bodies as we continue on this path of ascension…and allow us to flow more with it as it is accelerating. What has anchored us to the old, to the 3D life..is being lifted and more let go of.

There was lots of purging and cleansing on many levels….cellular to social to emotional to physical during this passageway as well. You may have felt deep sadness at times as the collective sadness/cries of the world moved through your higher heart space as it activated next level.

I feel immensely blessed in this now for the unity in my life, the abundance in my life, and the abundant unity too! Love to you on this last eve of Lion’s gate….may you find and use and connect with both your ROAR and your PURR! ❤ ❤

We are also headed to Salt Spring to feel into places we want to go to for activations, ceremony, etc. during our one day trip here during our Equinox Gathering next month from September 20-23. There is more info here if you’d like to join us for four days of magic, activation, DEEP processing, community experience, etc. https://www.facebook.com/events/595200351002134/

Much Love,

Jelelle Awen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.