Tag: feeling your emotions

Being With The Inner Punisher/Critic

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

befriend inner critic

https://youtu.be/3DWNjrF6y8I

‘Parts work’ is one level of what we offer in SoulFullHeart. It is the foundation of our healing practice and path. It is what inspires us to keep going IN… into ourselves for more nourishment and love that comes from this work, and into relationships that will always be a reflection of our inner universes. There is so much inside of each of us as humans in transition, learning to remember who we really are. We are fractured to a certain degree because we have needed to become this way in order to cope with 3D reality and the heaviness of what we came here to grow through and alongside. We ultimately cannot really be fractured or broken or anything BUT whole, yet, ask any part of you and they will likely say that this is their experience of life – separation, disconnection, suppression.

There are so many parts of you that call to you in this work. One of the most powerful ones to work with is the Inner Punisher/Critic. This is the part that is so prickly and often hard to be with… the hardest part to really love, for they throw so much at you and at others too in order to keep love out. The more love you let into your life, sometimes the harder they clench their fists. They are so often afraid. Afraid of letting go of the comforting discomfort of how they feel about you, about others, and ultimately about themselves. They judge harshly, starting with you, and sometimes act stealthily, hiding themselves somehow, often amongst the din and cries within you.

Their feelings about your body, your relationships, your job, YOU and any aspect of your life, become normalized frequencies inside of you. It becomes normal to think of yourself in certain ways and you may not even catch the vitriol that comes from you towards others, even in the form of ‘friendly’ teasing, that really has a bite underneath it. After working with your Inner Punisher/Critic in the many layers they come with, your desire to be around any energy of criticism, ‘funny’ or not, especially from you to you, diminishes in a big way. Often it is these harsh inner frequencies and judgments that bring friends and birth family members together. It is familiar to feel this way, so the idea of questioning it may feel ludicrous at first. Yet what if something more were possible in all of your relationships and especially in how you feel about yourself?

The Inner Punisher/Critic can be hard to stay in the room with. Often when you begin feeling them directly, they hurl insults at you, rolling out pages and pages sometimes of how they feel about you and about your life. As your outer world reflects your inner world, you begin to see and feel how this energy has leaked out to others you interact with and informed your approach to yourself and to any area of your life. It can play out in themes of workaholism, exercising only for the sake of your self-image and ‘how you feel about yourself’, and abuse (the definition of which deepens as you work with this part and begin to heal these frequencies of self-abuse, however they show up).

The journey to genuine self-love must involve feeling the Inner Punisher/Critic. This energy cannot be transcended, only transmuted. The work and the room you must walk into inside yourself in order to start being with this part is worth it. It becomes like holding a kicking, screaming teenager who just needs to find their tears of release from all the energy they’ve held and the life molds they are struggling to fit into. This part does soften and change eventually. Yet they really need your help to motivate them with love, with an ongoing promise that you will be there for and with them, and that you will always hold that they are so much more than this job they have given themselves for very good reasons.

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Letting Go WITH Love

Published on by Kasha Rosa2 Comments

by Kalayna Colibri

letting go with love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyjZwXzIDJM

Letting go WITH love… this phrase is becoming more poignant now, bringing with it deeper meanings. We are being invited to really feel it. It can no longer mean letting go and closing a door for good or with numbness. This is being challenged by so many disasters and tragedies, all intended to evoke, not dampen or inspire numbness and escape. A broken wall becomes a doorway into another reality, another timeline. It is happening with our need to feel more now, to be faced with our shadows, to go INto it all, as it flows through and moves us too. No process is without fluidity. It is all a moving current, moving with what you are currently feeling, being and healing.

There is less and less stagnancy possible now. All is moving, even the ‘stuckness’ feelings and patterns. As you are invited to let go, you are invited to do so with love, with a full heart, and with deep care that begins from you to you. There are some things that cannot be let go of right now. Not while parts of you need them still. This is okay. They won’t need them forever. Eventually, these ‘needs’ which can look and feel like addictions, move too as you go inward, holding mourning processes with parts of you while also letting in that this ‘need’ was never all that loving towards you or them in the first place. This can be a romantic relationship, your relationship to your pet, a friend or birth family member. It can be a drug, prescription or not. It can be sex or shopping. It can be a part’s escape through your mobile phone or computer or gaming system. It can be and often is food too. There are so many ways that loops of ‘I want love, but I’m settling for this pattern and stuckness instead’ can express. These too want to be felt and moved WITH love… let go of with love. But only if there is love powerfully present in your heart and in your life, can this become possible for you.

Letting go becomes a practice of being… holding an open hand and open heart, feeling ‘attachments’ where your heart and parts have been invested, holding it all as good, letting in the space for the tears of mourning and eventually the tears of joy. Both sometimes happen at once, as timelines emerge and collapse and emerge again.

Letting go becomes an experience of the heart… feeling the fullness of feeling all there is to feel. Baking in the goodness and the sadness, giving all relationships their due. This is hard, especially for your Inner Protector, as he/she would prefer to just ‘move on’ and suppress the lessons, the mirrors, the love that wants to come to you through these emotional landscapes within, that when taken in deeply could transform your life and end suffering loops too. Your Inner Protector can be felt in this desire to numb out instead of feel and share with you why it has been this way and why allowing you to feel on your way out the door has been scary. Outrage is far easier to lean into at times, wanting to blame many or even just a few… or yourself too. Yet this is numbing somehow too. Numbing to the reality of where the experience wants to take you…. the journey and process to self-forgiveness and a greater sense of your love and worth. The journey and process of finding out what’s underneath it all, what led you here, what is underpinning the whole experience.

Letting go WITH love wants to live and breathe in your being. Letting IN with love is the reality at your doorstep. Perhaps eventually it all leads to simply letting love, period –  where the comings and goings are not really events anymore, but instead, there is a way to just be and move with it, with fluidity and fluency, stillness and grace. For now, the feeling part is often the hardest…. but the one that will lead you to more of the love flow that so wants to flood your every part and every ache and every single bit of joy too. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

 

You Are A Universe Of Feeling

Published on by Raphael Awen5 Comments

By Raphael Awen

feelingalot

You’re feeling a lot right now.

You may not think you are, but thinking is different from feeling. It comes from a different apparatus, one being the head and the other being the heart.

If you pause in any moment (like this one), for a moment….. to feel …..you can immediately get a sense of what you, or what a part of you is feeling, or maybe rather, resisting feeling. Being on Facebook is a big world of feeling, that you, as another big world of feeling are interfacing with.

But what specifically are you feeling right now?

What are you hoping to feel by continuing to take in my words? What drew you a moment ago to ‘go online’?

If you’ve been numbing down what you are feeling then asking that question will begin to open out your awareness to the world of feeling that you haven’t been feeling. It would begin with sensing the rumble of unfelt feelings from within, admitting desire, admitting boredom, or need, and admitting the feeling of not wanting to feel.

Every last one of us are a universe of feeling. We are energy, and we are in motion, and when you put those two together, we are e-motion, and then we get to our e-motives, the deeper stuff beneath all of the who’s, why’s, where’s and what’s content of our lives, to what is really going on at a deeper contextual core level of being.

What you are feeling is running your life, and while a part of you may feel that what you feel is ruining your life, those so called negative feelings are the first portal you are being given to enter your e-motional body, the primordial awareness ground of your being.

So there you have it, no special moment per se, but yet totally pregnant and interconnected with all that is, even as, and even especially as, it doesn’t feel that way to a part of you.

You are sooo much more than you’ve consciously known, but parts of you are in touch with this, and this explains a whole lot about the suppression and management of e-motion that’s happening in the background just off the radar.

Time now, to love it all with a generous curious heart that really wants to learn, love, and feel all there is to feel.

Nothing to fix or even to heal really, just a lot backed up waiting to be noticed and felt, and then whatever shifts occur as a result just lead to new feeling and new noticing…. In a world of infinite love, you’re not broken, and you’ll never actually be fixed or even finally declared healed, as you will always hunger for more of the infinity that you are and long for.

I felt a wanting to share today after and during an unusually intense few days of ‘working’ doing an online money gig doing some data entry. I was feeling all the feelings held by a part of me fueling this energy to work, wanting to be felt more than anything, and now I feel opened out and expanded to hold this part of me as I re-engage in the work, feeling the more that there always is to feel.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

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Allowing Emotions To Come UP Through Connecting With Your Inner Protector

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment
By Jelelle Awen
Image is by Ana Cruz

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Image Is By Ana Cruz

FEEL. Just feel. Let the textures of your heart come up to BE. Allow what needs your attention to claim your space and hold it with self love. In this feeling, allowing, holding space for yourself, you create NEW possibilities of healing and transformation.

The parts of you that need you…the little girl INside or the little boy INside, the HUGE warrior, the guard on duty, the controller/manager, the punisher/critic, the teenager…..ALL these aspects and their emotional reality are pinging and ponging from within you. It doesn’t really work to ignore this, although you can try and part of you may try VERY hard to suppress all this emotional activity from coming UP and out.

All these parts came and formed when feeling was not OK, when there was no space made inside for them and with them by those meant to care and guide, your caregivers and parents as they didn’t have this either. There was no space for feeling what you were feeling WHILE you were feeling it and so the energy gets stuck. It is stuck in stories, scenes, and moments that your mind brings you back to often, trying to help your heart heal yet unable to do it. Your mind brings you ‘back’, yet these moments live in the now of the emotional body, continuing to play out and influence you. These moments need your heart presence in order to be ‘moved on’.

In sessions lately, I have been hearing more from people who do not remember very much about their childhoods. Or they can’t remember after certain traumatic and painful events happen or before these events. This is not actually a matter of memory of the mind, but rather, the Inner Protector which has ‘shut down’ access to the memories because they would be too painful for you. The Protector becomes worried and concerned that you couldn’t ‘handle’ to remember and emotionally digest it.

In the SoulFullHeart process, we support the authentic You to arise that CAN handle and wants to feel, to remember in order to heal, and to BE with the stuck places and parts that need you. You begin to remember it ALL (including other lifetimes with increasing clarity) AS you negotiate with the Inner Protector and Soul Guardian aspect. Negotiation with this part allows for the pipeline of memory to open and trust grows that You can handle what comes as a result. Your Protector may still ‘see’ you as a child and as you connect consciously with them, they start to lean into you and rest, feel you as more of an emotionally mature adult. As the Protector rests, this opens up your heart, body, soul, mind in often HUGE and new ways. You can read more about that here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts.

Here are teachings about the Inner Protector and a guided meditation to connect with this aspect of you during a recent group call: https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

FEEL. Just feel. It’ll be OK. It’ll be Beautiful even when it is necessarily painful. So much support is coming from these bounding and bountiful energy waves right now to hold a space for the feeling of feelings. So much support WITH love to go where love wants to go and couldn’t go in the moment, yet can in the NOW…..moving, transforming, and offering so much more possibility of love as you feel and, so, heal. ❤ ❤

 

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Jelelle Awen is an Emoto-Spiritual Teacher, Sacred Feminine and Sacred Union Facilitator, Soul Scribe, waySHOWer, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Sacred Human, Arising Wonder: Ascension Through Integration Of Your Emotional Body With Your Spirituality and  Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond .

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.