Tag: parts work

Ready to Launch

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

 

20

 

Inside the heart lie the propellers of our greatest flight.  They are covered over by the weight of our deepest wounds and fears of our darkest places.  They remain scattered among the soil of our emotional terrain.  If we truly wish to bring our most prized possession, our humanity, with us on this next phase of emergence, we will need to go the places that anchor this incredible power and potential.  

Like a spring that has been compressed, we hold our own version of kinetic energy.  Stored in our emotional body, cells, and DNA.  For men, I feel many of us are in conflict with that energy.  What does that power actually look and feel like outside the unhealed domain of fear and control?  The collective shadow of that control that we share and are not totally conscious of at its roots.  We are not responsible for moving that individually but it does exist inside of us to whatever degree it does.  What rage still resides inside of our hearts that has yet to be tapped into and loved with compassion and understanding?  

Without going in and seeking to feel the answers to these questions there is something of our most impassioned essence that leaves us in a state of stillbirth.  We can try some end run around this by focusing on mental pursuits or spiritual bypassing, but the heart will always bring us back to itself.  That is a definitive statement but it just feels true to me.  It has been true for me.  No matter where you go, there you ARE.

As men, we have this inherent need for quest and journey.  For creation and manifestation.  For exploration and expression.  The fire in the hearth of the feminine.  It aches to launch out into the cosmos of the soul with reverence and also abandon.  It will apologize later if it needs to.  There is a wildness that doesn´t follow the rules and seeks to tear them down.  To make bold claims and empowered choices.  The masculine is on a path of fully embodying the sacred pyre and seeking union with its feminine counterpart.  More than twins.  Two separate yet catalytic co-creators.  

This journey begins in the heart.  Lifting and loving those anchors off the propellers so the heart can fly WITH the soul with the body as its vehicle.  It is having a relationship with this aspects of ourselves that mitigates this endeavour of the arising wonder of the sacred masculine.  Who are we in our most enlightened state as we lighten the anchors inside?  I am on this path inside myself daily through the SoulFullHeart Way of Life as the portal to my highest expression.  It has served much growth inside me and desire to serve that to others who are feeling the swirls inside them as well.  The feeling of uncertainty or desire for more heart-centered conversation and expression.  
The men´s group call is a container for Raphael Awen and I, to lead a meditation and discussion into our masculine hearts, our connection to the cosmos, and our desire for love and romance with the queens of our feminine fancy.  It aims to be a great launching pad for our growing desire for community and brotherhood of heart. Both of us so look forward to going on this journey with you.

http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

SoulFullHeart Museletter: Week Of March 13, NEW Writings, Videos And Events

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

Weekly swimming pool full of sharings from the four of us (me, Raphael Awen Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri) which we call our ‘SoulFullHeart Museletter’ is out today (as every ‘Friday’). These museletters offer a dip into writings, videos, group call listings, events that you may have missed during the week or just want to take in again. I’m always amazed at what arises out of us all during the week, just flows out in a steady stream to be shared with others. I like to take a moment to feel what has moved through me during the ‘week’ as often the moment is arising in the moment for me without much thought of what has been (more and more anyway…..) This week’s edition features an article by Jelelle Awen about experiencing the GIFTS of the Universe through parts work, which is the primary ground of processing that we offer through sessions, with an excerpt from it below.

Please msg Kalayna Colibri if you would like to receive these museletters in your email every week or email us at soulfullhearts@gmail.com.

Invitation To Experience Gifts Through The Parts Work Process:

So many gems and gifts coming through right now, in insights and remembrances and putting things together. Gifts from guides and galactic aspects, angelic aspects, elemental aspects, presented during everyday life and ‘walking around’ reality. Gifts coming in with the sunlight, every ray of the sun seeming to offer light codes to activate what has been dormant and wants now to wake up and be remembered.

With the sense of wonder in your heart, these gifts can come in to you. With a sense of goodness about yourself and your own worth, these gifts can be received by you. With a trust in love and Divine Source, these gifts can be let in by you.

I have been receiving some comments lately on my writings and videos from some souls who are in a “I don’t see it” and “I’m not experiencing this” and “I am not getting these gifts” phase on their journey. This is a sacred phase too, although not an easy one.

read full article here or by clicking the image below:

sfhmuselettermarch13

 

On The Wings of Change

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

CDE

There are times when we realize all the old ways of relating to ourselves and others no longer serves us in our deepest growth.  When we see this reflection, whether by own perception or the mirror of another, there is no denying that something needs to shift and change.  There is no judgement for what had been for it was all a gift to help us to our next timeline, or storyline.  There is a time for letting go and feeling the parts of us that had their investment for reasons that are honored and felt with our expanded sense of what and who we are in our heart.  Space is offered as a sacred balm to our wounded needs.  This is the process ground we inhabit in SoulFullHeart.  These words come from my own experience of letting go.  

On The Wings of Change

We write our story with the pen of our own choosing

Weaving the details from the well of our multi-layered experience.  

What themes have we chosen to continue to re-solve inside of us?  

Only to realize there is no solution, just resolution

 

A moment when letting go of what has played out inside of us

No longer serves our highest growth and purpose.  

The ebb and flow of plot pirouettes

Signal a moment to step outside the text box

And feel the circular motion of our unhealed devotion

To this sacred notion that we are not worth the promotion

Of Love’s infinite ocean.  

The pages of our human journey

Are bound by the collection of the illusion of time.  

Our fractured heart splinters are seeking their way

Back to wholeness through chain-linked letters

And the smudge of a tear’s free fall.  

An awareness of what can no longer be upheld

by Fear’s consequential reign.  

The pages of this worn-thin book

Are removed from the surrender into what they were truly meant to be

…the feathers of the wings of our greatest calling.  

If you are in a place where you are feeling the seeds of deep inner change wanting/needing to be birthed and are not sure how that may happen you can check what we offer in SoulFullHeart as the process by which we hold space for ourselves in times of great change.  We are all here in service of YOUR greatest calling that also reflects ours.  

 

Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  You can learn more about him at www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com

 

 

To The Part Inside That Needs Your Love

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

 

partswork

I wanted to share what it feels like to hold an energy, or part, that looks toward the outer world of things and relationships for worth. It is our 3D self that feels this way and it our developing higher or 5D self that holds the space for these parts of us.

Now I feel the irony in sharing this as maybe a way of this part garnering some attention, but I was guided to share this as a way that we can relate to an aspect of us as a separate energy that we can give love to. It may resonate with you and provide a template of one of the ways we offer healing in the SoulFullHeart awakening and ascension process and during sessions. 

Hello, you.
You…the part of me that feels like the only way to feel loved
Is by reaching outside
Seeking validation and confirmation
You don’t need to do that anymore
There is a Me here to love you.
It is a Love beyond what others could give to you
That is always here.
You don’t realize this because you have been convinced
There is nothing else but the way it has always been.
You haven’t had someone like Me tell you otherwise
To feel you in your doubt and fear.
Someone who will let you be in your pain without trying to make it better.
To let it burn away all that you used to believe was Love.
I assure you that it isn’t and never was.
It was all a measure of what you felt you were worth.
What everyone else around you felt they were worth.
How would have known any different?

But there is something different.
It lies in your dreams.
Your desires.
Your imagination and….your worth.
You know you want more than what you are settling for.
You are worth the world.
A brand new world that responds to your goodness and your bigness.
It will take time, my love.
It wasn’t overnight that you saw and felt this way.
You are not wrong for feeling it.
It all brought you here to this place of finally saying no more.
No more pain.
No more cycling.
No more looking outside.
Surrendering to a trust in Me.
That I can be big enough to hold you through it all.
That what you desire and can imagine is already there.
You just need to let go of those thoughts and feelings
That keep you from believing it isn’t possible.
It is possible.
You know it is possible.
It is just hard to imagine based on the worn path you have traveled.

You can’t avoid the pain that will arise.
To do so would just keep you in more pain
And be that much more to feel along the way.
It is all coming one way or another.
It all comes down to HOW you are going to feel it
Rather than IF you are going to feel it.
There is no press or push, just an invitation
To lean into Me when you start feeling like you are less than
For I will always be your more than.
I will be there in the mud and in the trenches,
In the slippery and the sticky.
It won’t always be that way.
Just long enough to heal what needs to be healed.
The more you lean in the more you will be able to let go and let in.
Let in all that both you and I were destined to let in
Because it IS us and always has been.
No more second guessing.
No more judging.
No more suffering.
This is the time because there is No Time.
It happens now….
and now…
and now.
Until you have forgotten you ever lived this way.
I love you…always.

Sequoia Heartman is writer, heartist, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, online group calls and circles, community, videos, and more.

Premise 4: You Are Made Up Of Many Subpersonalities Doing Life As A Singular “I”

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

innerchild

Today’s going to be a main course day and a look at an amazing parallel universe. Welcome to day four of the 21 Day SoulFullHeart Magical Mystery Premises Tour.

Today’s premise is not only going to challenge traditional spiritualities and therapies, but a lot of modern ones as well. I say that up front in the hope that that draws you in rather than scares you off.

Eleven years ago now, I was at a place where I felt clearly done and bewildered with every spirituality I had ever encountered. I simply could not stomach the levels of denial and pretence that were inherent in the cultures I had been exposed to. This led to a deep search and ultimately to the creation of SoulFullHeart.

SoulFullHeart is a full meal and today’s premise takes us to the main course. I invite you to feel this premise deeply to feel if it is for you. All of the other premises are in support of today’s premise.

I’m really hungry to find those of you this resonates with and to help you cross over into this parallel universe. It’s simply too good to keep to myself, and I want the feeling of it expanding out into others hearts and lives. I feel clearly that what I’m sharing with you today is ahead of what any other spiritual and emotional healing practices have to offer. I know those words can sound superiorizing, but they are my truth. I would be dishonest to hide my conviction from you. Again, it is my hope that my claim excites you more than distances you.

However, I acknowledge that what I’m offering certainly won’t be welcomed by everyone and I feel that my outspoken clarity on what I feel SoulFullHeart is, does help people to sort out for themselves early on if they are drawn or not. I feel an urgency and I want to serve it. All that said, I’m really glad to have your interest, your inquiry, and your hearts desire finding its way. I sincerely hope you find my conviction about SoulFullHeart inviting rather than distancing. I deeply need and want others in my life.

Let’s dive into today’s premise.

Premise four is called the ‘Parts Reality Premise’ and it goes like this:

“Rather than just one singular “I” in charge of life, SoulFullHeart offers that we are made up of many parts or subpersonalities (both those in outed expression and those in shadow) formed primarily through undigested traumas that can be integrated and healed into an authentic, sacred human self called the SoulFullHeart Self.”

Jelelle and I have recently written a full article on this premise and I feel to refer you to that article for the complete teaching about the SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process here.

I will go on then to speak here in this post to my personal life change since embracing this premise.

Let me see if I can feel back to the ‘I’ that led my life 11 years ago and channel his voice from that time:

“I feel myself to be really well adjusted to life and way happier than most people. I fell myself engaged, growing and in many ways content. I look for the life lessons in my problems and welcome the change that even crisis brings. I’m a family man in a long-term committed and fulfilling relationship. People around me look up to me in many ways, and rightly so, I do have a lot to offer.”

That was how one part of me, who was a deep outed expression of my life, saw and related to my life.

Now, let me see if I can channel the voice of another very different part of me also present at the same time and feel the contrast. This voice was way more subconscious and was only found through keen desire and choice, and the aid of a subpersonality facilitator and a process.

“Life totally sucks. There is no reason to live. Nothing ever works out. I hate God for putting me through this. It just fucking hurts like hell when I feel it, and then all there is, is to feel it some more. Life is so boring. People are so uninteresting, but then who am I to talk. I just want to fucking end this shit.”

What a surprise it was to find both of these voices were true inside of me, and the relationship they had to one another. One was very much outed and one was very much suppressed, but they were in a deep dance with one another, with no other me to show up for either of them to shift or mediate their realities.

When I got around more conscious people, my positive and outed personality leading my life had a tinny ring to it and was off-putting to them as inauthentic. When I hung around people who felt less conscious, this version of myself leading my ‘me show’ was well liked and even applauded.

It wasn’t actually until a few years prior to this time in my life that I had any conscious feeling of depression or grief in my life. I related respectfully to others who were depressed, but simply had no reference point for it in my awareness. I looked into some natural medication and went to a few counselling sessions, but mostly I was helped and relieved by taking it easier on myself, not hiding what I was going through, even finding some deep tears over an un-grieved loss of a romance from a relationship 19 years prior. “Okay, survived that pretty well, I’d say, I even feel more opened out to life, to smell the roses so to speak,” was again the voice of this part of me doing life as me.

That, however, did not touch what was really buried inside of me inside of my subconscious and in the shadow of my soul. In actuality, it served to bury it further. The ‘I’ leading my personality expression in life was a deeply strategic energy, seeking to gain what it knew as love and approval, and avoid rejection. This version of me was very busy doing everything it could to keep other subconscious parts of me from derailing the whole deal he had worked so hard to establish and maintain.

I know your story specifics are different than mine, but my truth is that the polarities inside of you are very, very similar.

I went on in my process to become deeply familiar with parts of myself……one, two, or even three parts at a time who held deep feelings of hurt, anxiety, rage, depression, control and shame, and then deeper to find deep core unworthiness and deep core disconnect. Maybe me naming these tones right now itself produces rumble in you calling you from your own vast, but unexplored being.

Given this dynamic, that all of us are made up of many subpersonalities, and each one of them is in a kind of suffering of their own, affecting every relationship to everything in your life….what could be of any more value than finding healing for each of them?
Left with our parts unexplored and unhealed, how much truly real and authentic expression are we even capable of? What is the tone of the love we seek and the love we give? What are the relational dynamics governing our romantic bonds, our relationship with our careers, with what we relate to as the divine, or God. The questing questions run deep.

You are in essence an authentic self, as you’ve seen and felt tastes and glimpses of in when you feel most like ‘yourself’ or ‘at your best’. But this authentic self, or what we call the SoulFullHeart Self, remains largely un-manifest in daily life and relationship transaction to the degree that parts of you remain in unadjusted suffering, whether in their dungeons or ivory towers. It’s all suffering.

SoulFullHeart offers a grounded way to support you to undertake an ongoing healing journey into this community of yourself and that then extends into a like-minded conscious community of others sharing the same path.

It’s hard to put into words the difference I feel inside of myself since I began the parts process path over a decade ago. I sometimes use the words that ‘you become in many ways unrecognizable to yourself’ as you deconstruct the many strategies held by parts of you to keep life safe. That feels very true to me today, and it never stops. You see, parts of me keeping life safe also closed me off from love in deep energetic gravitational pulls to keep the suffering in place. Parts of me were using suffering to stay stuck.

I’m gonna pause here for today and invite your questions. This is a lot to digest. If you’d like, I welcome your PM, or your questions in the comments below. And, again, this article on our website is very helpful for providing more teaching about the parts process.

And here are Jelelle’s, who is co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart, comments about parts work:

Oh, wow, what can I say about parts or subpersonality healing? Between what you offer of your own experience, Raphael, and our article, a lot of ground is covered. The main feeling I have in the moment is complete and utter gratitude for having this tool brought to me in my life at a time, over 11 years ago, when so needed it. I KNOW that I would not be experiencing life in the tones of joy, magic, love, intimacy etc. that I do without it. The amazing thing is how natural it has been for me to identify voices and energies and tones in myself and then create a relationship with them.

And, in my experience, it is easy and natural for most people. I like to say that I have seen an eight year old identify parts of themselves and an 80 year old with the same level of ease….it is beyond age, beyond cultures and seems to be a universally human development that has been offered in psychology to some degree for 100 years. Seeing and using it as also a tool in spiritual awakening and enlightenment is the newer, cutting edge aspect, but then everything was ‘new’ and ‘cutting edge’ once!

Just this morning, I was meeting with a facilitant, feeling a new part of her emerging (that we call the Daemon or soul guardian), and once again, even all these years later after doing this work for years and serving others in it for years, I was struck anew by the absolute magic of it as she got to feel something in herself that she had NEVER known was there yet it was so TRUE to who she is at the same time. The access to your inner world, both in the heart and soul domains, that you get is so immediate and effective..without drugs, without hypnosis….ok, this brings up a lot of passion in me. I feel like it is THE missing piece in so many ways and once people get a taste of it, they usually feel the same way.

Raphael and Jelelle Awen are co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Please visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information. 

SoulFullHeart Subpersonalities Healing Process Video Part One

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

New video with Raphael and Jelelle Awen, co-creators and facilitators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of life, sharing about the awakening process that they offer and specifically how they work with subpersonalities, the ‘inner family’ to differentiate our personas or false self to arise into our authentic self or Divine self….part one! You can watch other videos on the SoulFullHeart Experience Channel.

Feeling My Spirit/Matter Split (Part Two): Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

This is part two of Feeling My Spirit/Matter Split in the Life As An Initiate At SoulFullHeart Sanctuary Blog Series. Go here to read part one.

recovering faith

 

By Kathleen Calder

My intention for this writing today is to have you join me in a feeling space around what it means to be “separate”. What comes to you when you think about separation? A recent break-up or completion with a beloved? The day your mother/father/other family member died? The day you left for college or moved out of your childhood home in general?

Each movement and phase of life often involves a death and rebirth cycle that can encompass some sort of separation being necessary. Of course the very first separation we viscerally experience in our lives comes at the very beginning – the moment we emerge from our mother’s womb. The very first tears we cry are often in this moment, feeling the separation from our warm gestation place and mourning the chance to be the closest to our mother that we ever will be. For the first time, we can feel sensations in our bodies of a changing need for our adaptation and therefore survival. We are still dependent, but we have exited from an intense phase of being held by something bigger than us. We now must begin to build our muscle tone, our dexterity, and, beyond the physical, we must also start developing our emotional bodies, for once again we have been born into this dense and often difficult environment which we call life on Earth (as we know it today, anyway).

As each new skill learned and new emotion is discovered and felt for the first time, we start to develop a digestive system within us and a new way of processing data that needs less and less help (ideally) from our caregivers as we go along. With each new chapter of our lives, we let go more and more of (or desperately try to cling to in denial of our need for change) those pieces of our life that once represented who we were and can no longer stay with us as we continue to grow. Like a child constantly outgrowing their clothes, we too are meant to outgrow relationships in which the person can’t or won’t make the choice to come with us or vice versa, and the “clothes” (or, sadly and more commonly, armor) we have tried on in order to reflect, avoid, or defend our emotional realities.

We are meant to gestate over and over again and birth out into a new world just the same. We are meant to have help digesting the “food” others give us to help us grow, both consciously and unconsciously. We are meant to cry out if we feel neglected in any way, or as if there is a lack of love flow in our lives. We are meant to ache out the pain of our separation from the original source of Infinite Love in infinite supply. Only then, in my experience, can we begin to feel that though the fog may feel thick sometimes, we are always connected by a Divine umbilical cord. This is not an ideology. To me, it feels like simple fact. And yes, I and parts of me, are still letting that in.

This, to me, is the core of where our Spirit/Matter split lies. It is certainly the core of mine. I truly feel that my soul has been around and around this world and each time that the original and at times insurmountable feeling of being separate from the Divine must be felt through again with the first breaths of a new life beginning, has been harder and harder. At times parts of me have reacted to this by going so far into Matter that it “matters” more than Spirit possibly could. After all, it is the more relatable place to be in for most human relationships…perhaps because deep in our souls and hearts we are aching out the same pain of the original separation and just want to avoid feeling it as much as we can.

There have also been times in my life where parts of me have tried to lean so far into Spirit that the art of responding to life and at least the Matter that really “matters” got waylaid. This over-leaning into Spirit led me into a sort of constant depression and heaviness inside me as parts of me reluctantly walked through heartbreak, loss, and disappointment, fixating on the pain and not the goodness of life, as if throwing some sort of tantrum and saying, “Look Divine Mom and Dad! Look at how miserable I am! I shouldn’t be here! Take me home, please!”

This sort of stark split isn’t the easiest life theme to work. I am grateful to be awake enough to it that I can feel and begin to understand how my parts formed around it and why they have the reactions they do. There is still some deep pain inside me about living out another life on Earth, especially during this dark time for humanity, but at least now I am equipped to feel it through and ache it out consciously instead of having it play out in the same pattern it has until now. Perhaps it will still need to play out in some ways that are similar to how it has done so in the past, but I can trust that if that comes up, there is something more I need to look at and feel about it.

Spirit and Matter may feel like opposites at times, but really they seem to be meant to work together. We are meant to ground into Matter while opening up to Spirit and engaging in all of this with others in conscious and sacred friendship and community. Sadly, not many of us are raised to feel that both are equally important. We wouldn’t need to be here if Matter didn’t have something to offer the Spirit within and around us.

As I continue to write this, I feel how I am writing in the world of Matter through Matter’s means, while connecting to and channeling Spirit. Spirit can come through because of this conduit of “me”. Right now Spirit is communicating through my heart, my brain, my language of English, the keyboard I am typing with, the computer that is holding and hosting this document, and eventually the World Wide Web where these words will be posted. And this is only one way in which to try and communicate what I am communicating.  There are myriad other ways in which Spirit tries to reach us and show us that Matter is not all there is or all we need. Sometimes that message can only come through severe accidents or diseases or just at the very end of a life…but then again, it also comes to us through orgasm, deep connection with others, deep and prioritized connection with ourselves, and each and every time we find ourselves awed or humbled by nature itself in any form.  There is no difference between any of these experiences, except method and form. Spirit is there. Matter is there also. One cannot be found without the other, just as we ourselves are an embodiment of both.

It feels like Spirit has enjoyed expressing through me today, regardless of how deeply it can actually land its message in you through me. I am but one messenger and one pipeline. And in truth, this sense of a split that needs acknowledge and healing is such a sovereign, personal, and sacred process to be in, that whatever path you are walking right now is your own expression of it. Maybe one day our paths will align, and if they do, I will be there to walk this healing path with you in whatever way we are meant to do so together.

 

Kathleen Calder is an initiate at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and you can read more of her writing here on this blog. Please visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary for more information about staying with us and virtual sessions

 

The Journey to Us: Love Letters to My Queen

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

This is the first in a series of letters and poems that sends out my heart cry to my Queen.  The woman that has been with me yet apart from me since I really let in my ache for a mate about a year ago.  I had a part of me that had resisted deep, powerful, and transformative sacred romance with a woman that could take me to places I never felt like I could inhabit.  I am still in the process of healing, and always will be, but I am more than ever ready to do so with someone who can inspire and ignite my King.  These are for you, my love, wherever…whomever you may be.  

Copy of IMG_20160502_195858

Today I begin my journey to Us in earnest

Two souls in ache to mate

…to discover

…to grow, expand, and deepen.

At times you feel like you live on the other side of the world

At others you are right by my side

Head resting on my shoulder

Your arm entwined with mine

Some times, the hard times

You feel like you don’t exist at all.

But I keep walking

Keep feeling

Keep trusting that you have been with me all along.

Along busy, noisy roads

Just trying our best to keep it all together

Keeping the insanity of this world from unraveling us.

Along tranquil, serene trails

Connecting to our souls, our reason for being

Letting the magic of Nature’s divinity cleanse us

Clear us

Along the inner tributaries of our hearts

The winding, curving rapids of our lust, passion, and power

The straight and gentle flow of our stillness and groundedness.

We are destined to find each other

We already exist.

Can we let that in?

Can we allow ourselves to be terrified and undeserving

While continuing to call out to each other?

Can we hold both desire and fear?

I will do so for you

For you are my reason

                               my inspiration

                                         my motivation

You are my mirror

                      my challenge

                               my co-creator

You are my Queen

And I ache to be your King

Your strength to lean into

Your passion to wrap around

Your heart to feel you

Your arms to hold you

Your body to make love to you

Your soul to awaken with

I send you this heart cry, my love

Wherever you are

Whomever you are

Let it stand and shine like a beacon

A solar flare

We will find each other.

I will not stop

I may trip

I may struggle

But I will never stop feeling

How much I want to love you

Now matter how much it may hurt to do so.

~

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings athttps://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Introducing “Essencism”: A New Movement Towards Ourselves

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

 

glowing-heart

 

By Kathleen Calder

I have begun to consider myself an “Essencist”. I don’t think that term exists yet, but I like it. Why? Because it doesn’t already have a role attached to it, an image of the person who may be involved in it, or even necessarily an existing set of beliefs. Well, I guess in a way it does, since I am coming up with it as someone who embraces SoulFullHeart, a healing and consciousness path where we speak of “essence” quite a bit, and yes, we have some specific beliefs we work with. They are fluid though, as life and the Divine always seem to be arising for us anew, depending on the chapter of our lives we are living out individually and as a community. To be an “Essencist”, to me, means that no matter what changes your life brings you, you believe in the power of your essence and you are also constantly in hot pursuit of what you feel it to be in every single moment, letting it be an unending journey of discovery with relentless curiosity.

I feel like I am diving into a chapter of pursuing what the heck my essence could be. I am experiencing the beginnings of what promises to be a deep journey of self-mating – deep, hot, romantic pursuit of the parts of me who have been neglected or put aside until now, and ultimately of my own heart and soul and what it’s made of. Is it difficult for parts of me to imagine that this phase could last a long time and that could mean not pursuing mateship with a man for a long time? Yes. Of course. And I also feel that I wouldn’t want to offer a future mate anything less than what I am already discovering about myself and my truest heart or my essence, nor do I desire a mate who can’t or won’t offer me the same, coming from an overflow of his own self-mateship.

So here we go, with much strength and motivation…but where is my vulnerability around it? Parts of me don’t feel too good about this idea, while it sounds good. It is different than what most other young women and men my age care about doing. So there is a deep loneliness I can feel inside myself too in this moment. Yet I can feel the possibilities of there being others and the chance for deeper relationships with others my age than I have experienced so far. And how could I draw what I really want in relationship if I am not pursuing it and cultivating it inside myself?

Perhaps the essence of being an “essencist” is actually selfishness, then. I selfishly want to focus on myself so that I can selfishly claim the gifts of that journey and the manifestation of that which I have always wanted in my deepest essence. To be an “essencist” means embracing personal other-ness – the fact that you are as unique as you feel yourself to be, whether you have been born with the sex of a woman or a man, or earned the role of accountant, actor, mother, brother, teacher, or priest.

What I want more than anything, as far as I can feel for what I know of my essence thus far, is to know and be known, but not in a superficial way. I feel encouraged to inhabit a new way of being in life where I pursue myself with so much curiosity that it overflows into a deep curiosity about others and puts me in a position where I love others’ essences so fiercely that I will fight for it the way I am beginning to fight for my own. I have already experienced tastes of my capacity for this as I have felt many moments of my capacity to feel others and how it is deepening with every step I take towards feeling myself first.  I am becoming more and more compassionate towards the false while advocating for the real. In a world that very much still tries to revolve around created personas and smokescreens, this is very challenging. This could be why I like the idea of a movement, if you will, that we could call “Essencism” – encouraging all human beings to get back to themselves in a healthy, authentic way, cultivating a relentless overflow of self-love that spills over into every aspect of their lives.

I feel in my essence a spark that keeps glowing, even when the night is at its darkest and all of life seems to parts of me to be conspiring against my/their happiness or comfort. It is something that I really don’t feel I will ever fully come to know, but that’s not as important as it is to keep discovering and getting closer to that answer, even if all I end up with at the end of each day is more data pointing out what it is not. So for now I will continue to try on each and every day and take it for a spin in my proverbial Cadillac, seeking and finding more answers while feeling myself deeply through every challenge and hard-to-feel feeling inside my parts and my heart.

 

Kathleen Calder is an initiate at the SoulFullHeart Sanctuary and you can read more of her writing here on this blog. Please visit SoulFullHeart Sanctuary for more information about staying with us and virtual sessions

Real Men Feel Their ¨Heart-On¨: Diary of a HeartMan Blog Series

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

This is the fifth in a series dedicated to the Journey of the Sacred Masculine.  If you wish to read previous posts you can go here.

1

Where have all the real men gone? By that I mean the men that are willing to be real. Real with their hearts. Real with their pain. Real with their vulnerability. Of course when I hear that question a part of me hears other answers. ¨Real men eat meat. Real men have no fear. Real men don´t cry.¨

I grew up with that meme. All the while feeling my inner sensitivity and the porosity of my heart and soul. A punisher and critic developed inside me to remind me how much of a man I wasn´t in comparison to other men. The sensitive part of me never felt strong enough, good-looking enough, smart enough, or talented enough to be considered a ¨real man¨.

I have done much work to support the healing of this wound. Even today, I still find myself feeling this energy inside me even though it is less intense. It demonstrates how deep the wounding goes. It also shows that as we heal our own personal piece, we invariably start working our way through the collective wounding, and then the archetypal. It’s big shit we are doing, and I want to hold that with reverence and compassion for myself and my parts. It is a process that has a treasure trove of challenges and rewards.

It may feel to a part of me that I will never get to my destination. My place of destiny. A place of sacred masculine kingliness. This is the other meme to heal. That somehow there is some lofty finish line. Some grandiose port of arrival where all of life comes to celebrate our victory. We made it, without ever really understanding what ¨it¨ is. Do we cease to exist when we get there? Will we be disappointed when all the fanfare eventually dies out? Or is it just another part of an infinite journey of exploration, growth, healing, becoming, and creating? An infinite art project.

I may not have those answers, but what I do feel is that I am on a quest of uncovering. Uncovering what it is to be a sacred human man in a time in which we have chosen emotional disconnect, spiritual absolutism, and physical imperialism. I want to heal my own shadow so I can let in more love and more light. The same love and light that can be overflowed into the hearts and souls of other men on similar quests.

Those are the men I want to find myself surrounded by. Men that feel the greater context of their personal content. Men that feel the sadness and powerlessness in other men that inspires them to reach out to be a lifeline for healing and growth. Men that aren´t afraid to feel deep pain and be expressed in vulnerable, salty drops of water. Men that have a love for women in their full expression of feminine power, beauty, and sexuality, while healing their own shadow at the same time.

As I walk outside, down the streets, and at the beach I ache to be seen and felt in my sacred masculinity. I want to walk around with my ¨heart-on¨ and be a beacon to sacred men and women alike. To be an expression of love, strength, courage, and compassion. To be a symbol of self-love, self-worth, true power, and sacred sexuality. I will continue to be as real as I can be. To be true to my heart and devoted to my soul. I will continue to choose who I wish to let in and who I wish to be around. I will continue to pray and desire to draw other real men who want to feel their ¨heart-on¨ too.

It can be a lonely place for a part of us that feels an ache for connection and transaction. It is easy to be less that what you are for the sake of relieving this ache. But then when you feel the larger ache, the ache for authenticity and deep resonance, it pales in comparison. It is a tug between authentic loneliness and false companionship. In the loneliness there is our truest self waiting to be born in the waters of our worth. As we hold to what we want and desire, so shall we be gifted with its presence when we have finally learned to love ourselves first.

Sequoia Heartman is an apprentice teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit SoulFullHeart Way Of Life Website for more.