spiritual healing – Page 8 – Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart)

One Year Later: Freeing Yourself From The Psychodemic

Published on March 19, 2021March 21, 2021 by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

One year ago we all found ourselves walking through the threshold of a New World Order. An Order rooted in fear, facts, and fallacy. It was our global 9/11 moment and it has forever changed the way we experience the world we live in and those we relate to. We have become Alice in Wonderland wondering when the hell things will ‘get back to normal’.

I don’t believe there can ever be a going back. The collective psyche has been altered. Forget about your DNA, which is still being worked on depending who is doing the ‘working’, but the soul of our humanity is being altered. This has not all been for naught, however. There has been a lot that has become clear for many as this whole grand experiment/experience has awakened a population to what is real and what is not for each of us.

Science Fiction is coming alive before our very eyes. It clearly was never ‘fiction’ but a precursor to what was to come. It has become more of Science Friction. The use of science, ‘facts’, and fear as a weapon against ourselves and each other. We have been in a pinball game or roller coaster of emotion for some time now and it is becoming normalized. Life has become a dystopian novel trying to find its way into our consciousness. The question is will we let it?

As much as we may have a compulsion to go ‘out there’ to and solve the global psychodemic, it feels even more imperative to go inward. Like Neo running into Agent Smith at the end of the Matrix movie, we are being called to find the matrix tyrant within us. Who is this shady creature from the Black Lagoon of our Shadow and Control Center. The Wizard of our Oz. As so many wise and ascended masters have told us, as above, so below. What is outside, is inside.

This ‘creature’ is not a boogyperson. It is a engrained, conditioned, and legacy aspect of us from a bygone era. It is our connection to the System that we were born and raised in. It is being fed a consistent diet of bullshit that it has learned to accept as real food. Just like Neo was hooked up to the multitude of tubes when he woke up in that egg-like container. To meet this aspect of you is to meet yourself, but in this poorly-written and poorly-directed Epic of Gilgamesh we are calling ‘reality’.

I invite you to find and meet this aspect of you. It needs your sacred heart. Your soul spark. Your Divine Self to come and save it. YOU don’t need saving! This part of you does. There is NOTHING out there can can do the saving, the living, the liberating. It’s all you, my friend. This aspect of you has been judged, out of fear and control, to be a dark entity. Not so. The tag was put on it so you wouldn’t find him/her/it so that you could actually free yourself from the spiderweb that has been crafted for eons.

This aspect may not be found easily, or may even resist out of fear. The timing will present itself if you can consistently go into your heart and connect with Love. It is Love that lights the tunnels and caves of this Dark World. It is Love that holds the keys to the locked doors. It is Love that can hold the space for the fear, the hate, the unworth. It is Love that exists within you that is your saviour. It is your shamanic medicine against tyranny, injustice, and control.

I will work on a guided meditation to meet this aspect of you caught in the grids, the web, the inner caves of the matrix. This is where true freedom lives. The crossroad of the heart and soul, using the mind to create what wants to be made real or real-ized. You don’t need a degree to get there. Just a desire for a New World Order within rooted in Love and not Fear.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and space-holder. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Firing On All Cylinders: Feeling The Blocks To Passion And Purpose

Published on March 17, 2021April 1, 2021 by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

There is this deep desire to have sex with Life Itself. I don’t mean that in the physical way, of course, but energetically. This fire that wants and NEEDS to create, serve, and heal. In that, it also needs to destroy, illuminate, and transmute.

SoulFire is part of our essence, as is SoulCare. One has a masculine edge, the other a feminine one. Together they make life meaningful, purposeful, and alive. This is not to judge any state you may find yourself in as ‘less than’ or ‘lacking’. It is just noting what feels alive and true and what doesn’t. It is in that awareness that you can feel where the fire is and isn’t. Where the care is real and where it is hidden.

You can imagine yourself like the engine of a vehicle that has cylinders where pistons move through to create the spark by which the engine runs. Sometimes we feel like we are running on all our cylinders and others we may only feel like we have half of them online. Like a mechanic, you can ‘go under the hood’ and see why certain cylinders aren’t firing.

It’s no so much a fixing in the 3D sense, but more of a feeling and heart presence as to what is not letting Love do its job, which is to provide you with the fuel you need to be fully alive and aware of itself.

There can be so much build-up inside your cylinders, or heart channels, that it can bog you down into states that take you into dark times. These are moments of deep rest and deep feeling. Sometimes space-holding can help move things and get clarity as well as an opening to more Love and context.

In two weeks, Raphael Awen and I will be holding a men’s group call about Power, Vulnerability, and Adequecy. These feel like big topics for men and there ongoing ascension and healing journeys. We will also be posting a video soon, with our soul brother James Elphick, having a conversation and meditation about this very thing.

We invite all of our male friends here to join us on this call as well as have a dialogue about what you feel is preventing you from full living and being your most empowered and passionate self. To all our female friends, please tell anyone you feel would be interested.

http://www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls

We both look forward to meeting and connecting with other men around these topics as well as offering our space-holding services. These times are showing us our strengths as well as our challenges and needs. We hope to be a part of that ongoing awakening to our liberated, wild, and alive being in the world.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

Are You Up For Some Sex Talk?

Published on March 11, 2021March 18, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Jelelle and I have our next group call coming up on Sunday the 14th entitled Sacred Sexuality, and I want to invite you.

Okay, that was a bit of a ploy. Pardon the grabby come on, but the purpose of this writing is to draw people who might be interested in the call, so I thought it best to be in full disclosure right from the get go.

Can I ask you, how has life been for you as a sexual being? How do you at present relate to your sexuality?

Whether your experiences have been deeply negative or out of this world positive, both are a lot to bear in this mystery of our sexuality.

That you and I came into this life with this awakening need and desire of sexuality along with its potential for both the deepest fulfillments and the deepest disappointments really points to the vulnerability of our souls choosing to be in human incarnation.

For me, my teenage awakening into my sexuality was marked with fears and hiding that I effectively suppressed by taming it alongside a Christian dedication to God and Christian service. I embraced the no sex before marriage advice, partly out of my fear of my own sexuality and partly of wanting God’s blessing and sense of safety on something I felt to be so potentially unknown, destructive and harmful. I managed to enter my first marriage as a virgin and experienced a bandwidth of sexuality that felt right for where I was at and what I could handle. From a soul perspective, I can see where this muting of my sexuality was motivated from other timelines of sexual regrets and remorse.

When I left Christianity, and that marriage of 23 years, I was surprised to find a very ripe and ready unexplored teenage sexual energy that was alive and well coming back into my life with me now in my mid 40’s. I knew I needed and wanted to explore and mature this sexual energy and life and the Divine opened out a couple of rich and rewarding relationships that surprised me by discovering whole new layers of the lover in me.

This laid a whole new groundwork sexually and emotionally to be in relationship with Jelelle. I was given and continue to be given experiences that feel like such deep treasures and even trophies to me and parts of me. I’d like to support you to create your own heaven of sexuality.

The journey of vulnerability, desire and beautiful experiences continued for me over the past 13 years together with Jelelle. Now, however, I especially feel another whole layer of sexual energy expanding out into an invitation into a much wider place that is beyond both the teenagers and the adult relationship with sexuality.

I especially feel how the masculine’s relationship with adequacy and sexual prowess on one hand and then the strange behaviour of needing to get to orgasm, and to effectively close the sexual space are both energies that are rooted in our fears of our sexuality. We can shy away from our sexuality, or put it out there and bury it under a performance, but in both of these polarities we see and feel our uninitiated relationship with our own sexuality.

I’m convinced now that I’m only scratching the surface of a much deeper terrain that wants to continue to reform and inform my life with this sexual energy in a way that relates to all areas of my life. Compartmentalized and contained sexuality is a safety measure that we maybe all needed while we did or do, but the invitation is for this sexual energy of mateship with all of life and love itself to overflow into this deep sexual union where there is no difference between the love of God, the love of other and the love of self.

Every person you meet along with yourself was portaled into this world by sexual energy and they each contain vital sexual energy as a common denominator of aliveness, with shared fears, desires and for some of us trophy experiences – but all of it is wanting to take us yet much deeper into something so much more. Can I turn in my trophies and admit I want to keep going into more?

I’m horny for that more, more than just talk, but ongoing flow into the infinite more that we each are. I hope you are too. Any and all sexual traumas, desires, fears, yearnings, trophies, sorrows, are all a portal into this deep going on place in your soul’s journey this life.

I hope you will consider joining us for the upcoming group call this Sunday at 5pm London time, that will be tailored to individuals and couples. We ask for a donation of any amount to join. Details below. This call is also free to all members of our SoulFullHeart Portal private network which you can join for $14.99 USD per month, which also helps support our work.

Here is the link to the Facebook event if you’d like further info or to invite a friend: https://www.facebook.com/events/109338231107311

Here is the event on our website where you can reserve your spot by making a donation: https://www.soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

We are now offering our SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a private virtual gathering place for sharing exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal for a membership fee of $14.99 USD a month: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Preface To ‘The Quest: A Men’s Healing And Ascension Journey’

Published on March 11, 2021March 18, 2021 by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

I started working on a book about the quest of the sacred masculine and its healing journey about this time last year when I was apart from my soul fam in SoulFullHeart. Of course, it couldn’t help itself from being anything less than what I had learned. It was a way for me to see myself, feel myself, and hopefully help other men in the process.

I have gone back to it recently and felt a pride in what I started and feel drawn and guided to continue on. I may share excerpts along the way as they highlight themselves. Today, I felt to share the Preface as it has relevance to our current collective situation and how are huMANity and masculinity relate to it. I look forward to where this journey takes me in my leadership and service of love to the men (and women!) it is meant to land in.

“IT IS CURRENTLY 2021 and I find myself, along with all of humanity, in a very tumultuous time in history. A global pandemic of fear, psychological and informational warfare, disclosure, and governmental authoritarianism is reigning supreme in our collective drama. Those that have been ‘elected’ or determined to be the leaders of the glorious mothership we call Earth/Gaia, are showing themselves to be ‘emperors with no clothes’.

I started to write this book about the awakening, sacred masculine right around the time the world went into a frenzy of lockdowns and an ever-mounting case load of information showing that we are being hooped and reigned in by a consciousness that is dystopian, dysfunctional, and dis-integrated. There are cries that the Old Guard of the Patriarchy be taken down and dis-membered (many times expressed literally!). There is the disclosure of the ‘Deep State’ as well as the hidden hand that is its ‘Luciferian’ influencer.

I put words in quotes not to dismiss them, but to highlight that these words are portals into something more contextual and less exact. This is not a book about evidence, data, or convincing this or that. It is about feeling within the current circumstance we find ourselves in as human beings, and more specifically as the masculine side of that equation (more on what I mean by that in the following Introduction.)

The male/wounded masculine dominance of the past few thousand years is being brought to trial and exposure by the collective arising feminine as well as the awakening, healing masculine. This is not an anti-man exploration. My journey has been to find the roots of our collective wounding through my own personal healing and introspection/integration process. In my heart it is very PRO-masculine, the healed transmutation of what has not been working and the honoring and cultivation of what has.

As men on a quest for our authentic expression and embodiment in this drama, we are being called to initiate ourselves into something new that brings us face-to-face with the Shadow that is appearing right in front of our very eyes these days. We are being invited to seek our calling and purpose in this death and rebirth process known as ‘Ascension’.

We all have a huge part to play in the years to come. Yet to recreate and rebuild I feel we need to do that from a more healed and honest place within us. Who we truly are is a result of seeing and feeling what we have been through with a courageous and compassionate heart as well as passionate conviction to be the change we want to see in the world.”

Raphael Awen and I will be hosting a Men’s Group Call on Saturday, March 27 via Zoom at 5pm GMT. The topic will be Power, Adequecy, and Vulnerability. We will be doing a video conversation and meditation soon to bring this into clarity. But until then you can visit our page at: www.soulfullheart.org/mensgroupcalls for more info and donations for the link.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The New Frontier Of Sacred Sexuality

Published on March 9, 2021March 9, 2021 by Gabriel Amara1 Comment

This coming Sunday, Jelelle and Raphael will be hosting a group call over Zoom on Sacred Sexuality (www.soulfullheart.org/events). This topic has a lot of energy to it in a variety of ways.

So much of our human story is wrapped up in our sexuality. What it is or isn’t. What it has been used for or used as. What we have been affected by or traumtized by. We all have a different relationship to it.

From an early age, sexuality was seen as a means to some kind of validation. I was shown a Playboy magazine when I was 7 years old in the basement of a neighbors house. I was told to do things that felt weird in order to be given the luxury of seeing it and bearing witness to it.

From that point on, sex was also seen as something taboo and mysterious. It became an obsession in my teenage years and fomented a consciousness that became quite a suffering ground. I took to pornography as a means to satiate this need for power, adequacy, and intimacy (without actually being intimate).

When I met Kasha in the beginning of my SoulFullHeart healing journey, I got to see how my sexuality was out of synch with my emotionality. My heart and my ligham were not necessarily in the same room at the same time. Shame would come up at times in response to this which led me down the Freudian mother wounding path that I needed to address in order to fully embody my more healthy sexuality.

I can’t tell you how much suffering was embedded in my relationship to sex. Through much deep-diving and connecting to my parts and Metasoul around it, I feel like I am just starting to begin a new journey with sexuality in a sacred way in my reunion with Kasha.

It is more about the sexuality inside of me first. What is THAT all about?! This feeling of my own inner sex is tantalizing and curious. It is rooted in creativity and Love. It is wanting to have sex with the World and the Yoniverse. It wants to produce works of art, writing, music, and dance.

The sexuality between Kasha and myself wants to head into more of the energetic heart and soul exchange rather than just the standard-bearer of genital sex (not that I don’t enjoy that too!😊🔥). There are portals and merkabas to explore and discover. There is deep passion and Love that are meant to be birthed into the world through our union of energies.

I feel a more grounded and mature relationship to sexuality now. One that is embodied and through a healing heart and clear soul. It is a new frontier that is beyond pleasure yet includes it in a much more healthy way that I feel I have always longed for since the day in that basement.

If you feel a draw to this healing and renewed relationship to sexuality with Self, Other, and the Divine please join the call this coming Sunday at 5pm GMT. More information at www.soulfullheart.org/events. There you will also find information on our upcoming Men’s Group call on Power, Adequecy, and Vulnerability on March 27th.

Much love and hot sex. 🔥❤️🕺🏼💃

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

My Heart Is Here To Serve

Published on March 8, 2021 by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

My heart is here to serve.

It was not a pretty sight about 10-12 years ago. I found myself in situations that felt like bottoms of barrels. A merry-go-round of anxiety, depression, and inner-punishment all while having the exterior of ‘having it all together’.

I found myself using alcohol, speed, and pornography as some sort of escape only to find myself deeper in the mud of Unworth. The maintenance of a ‘normal’ life was wearing thin and cracks were forming. I felt myself losing grip of a life of passion and joy. A part of me resigning to suffering as a way of life.

When I began my own journey with SoulFullHeart I was just looking for a means to find inner peace and a way to support myself doing something meaningful. What it turned out to be was much more. It was a calling back to Self and Service. And there I have found my roots.

The process of meeting and feeling the parts of me, stuck in what felt like a never-ending pattern of unworth and suffering, was a huge heart-opening as well as eye-opener. I started to see the ways in which I was creating a bifurcated world inside of myself. Love was some novel concept that you could see or read about, but not fully feel in my being.

As I have continued down this path of selves-discovery through parts work, and soul-awakening through Metasoul work, I have come to a new frontier in my life previously held in the shadow of my consciousness. We don’t always hide the ‘ugly’, but many times the beauty.

It has been through all my deep movements and initiations (that I didn’t realize were initiations), that I have found myself in sacred desire to serve. Serve those that feel connected my words, my heart, and my past. I may not have had quite the traumas others have had but my journey has taught me that I have a well of compassion, care, and curiosity…the three elements for this work.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are hard places to go. There are challenges and difficulties. If we are called to heal and grow, this is the real and true path. Some of our parts weren’t baked from a Holly Hobby Oven, but rather from the grist of karma. This is the nature of our individual human story.

In all of that, there needs to be a sense of safety and trust. This is why we meet the Inner Protector first so that we get to feel and heal these places with permission and grace. I work WITH you, not for you. Ultimately, you are the sovereign in any session, I just open my heart and ask questions, offering intuitions along the way. Well, not JUST. Opening the heart is part of what I have worked so hard to get to. It is the fruit of my own inner labour. Now I want to share that fruit.

I have worked mostly with women and have had so many amazing experiences. Lots of growth for both of us. I have an affinity to work with the feminine as I have a close relationship with my own. I am guided by the Magdalene lineage of service.

I desire to serve men as well in their ache to find their own mark in the world through a sensitive and caring heart. I have been through my own sacred masculine journey and continue to do so. I am working with Raphael Awen monthly and will be offering Men’s Group calls and videos talking about men, healing, and spirituality. It is a deep calling to serve men into their Highest Heart and SoulFire Self.

I offer a free 45-minute introductory call to see how I may serve you in your healing into self-love and SoulFire. It is also to see if it is even a fit for both of us at this time. SoulFullHeart is a specific paradigm that is more than just a therapy or healing modality. It is a way of life in the end. Yet, that can be discovered and felt one session at a time.

I look forward to this landing in the heart or hearts that it is meant to. If you know someone in need, please send them this contact. I am blessed to be a part of this community of journeyers, healers, and leaders. I am honored to be a part of your journey and healing as well.

Much love to you whether we work together or not. We are all in this together. 🙂

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

A Common Challenge For Awakening Men

Published on March 8, 2021March 8, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

I had the pleasure of holding space for a man yesterday in session space over zoom and we encountered something together that feels really common for awakening men.

As he described some precious and powerful awakenings with Yeshua and many new places of openings recently, I couldn’t help but feel an anxious undertone in his sharing, so I just asked if he could feel a part of him that is vigilant about keeping up with awakening, and that opened out a whole portal to go into together where we felt and saw that the efforting and vigilance about awakening was being used to avoid an inner well of ‘persistent hollowness’. We were able to see and feel the part of him who lives in this hollowness and begin to see him as the one who holds vast access to creativity, as well as the men’s version of the womb, what’s known as the Hara.

This all felt so familiar to my own process of being out of touch with my own grief over the years, and with that of course, my own depression. I didn’t have any depression as near as I could tell, for decades actually, but truth was, part of me had just done an outstanding job of keeping it buried. I was quite a stellar human then, liked by many, but the treadmill of the efforting was starting to wear the benefits thin and the costs were tabulating.

I don’t think anything would have changed for me were it not for a crisis, and in some ways, an ongoing series of manageable mini crisis’ if you will.

Together in session with this man yesterday, we began to feel the call to really begin to bridge to this part of him, curiously and with open heart, get to know his reality. Negotiate with him to return out to play, not as another item on the to do list or the to be list of awakening, but just as a natural longing and appetite to get to know.

Then we felt THAT to be the ending of the efforting, as the efforting was actually being used to keep this part’s world and reality suppressed inside, when life is actually ripening this part’s reality to the surface.

I so don’t feel I could have bridged these realities inside of myself and my own healing/awakening process without ‘parts work’ as it is known. Without parts work, we just leave the part of us to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, without them feeling a you there to be with them, to bridge and support them in the changes they wish to make, kind of like the physically present, but all too often emotionally absent parents we experienced in growing up.

When the bridging occurs between you and a part of you, the perception of what both the problem and the solutions are also shift and change and whole new worlds emerge that were not seen before.

This is the magical portal that our wounding is, offering us sacred entry into dimensions not seen or known yet. Spiritual fixes for depression or anxiety aren’t much better than the pharmaceutical fixes are as both are about the fear and avoidance of this portal.

Being ready to enter this portal is quite organic, and you simply know when you are there. The call and question about sufficient courage is outweighed by the growing inability to hold up the old way any longer.

Whatever needs to be surrendered in order to enter the portal is kind of like shrinking your life into a 2 suitcase limit on a one way overseas airplane flight. You only have 23 kilos per bag, so the question becomes about what’s coming or not. Really, you can only take yourself, and a few most necessary items. The life you’ve created and accumulated needs to be largely or completely let go of. Socially, this is probably the hardest as our underlying and unconscious social agreements are about each of us promising to remain proximal in both geography and within a certain consciousness bandwidth with one another. You could say that we co-sign one another’s agreements to stay in resonant around remaining small, that is until we default on the agreement.

Some around us understandably get pissed, and rightfully so. We were the best exemplars to the agreement, maybe even better than the others in the picture were. And now, you’re the one pulling the pin. You also have some apologies to make, but the crazy thing is, no one wants the apologies, they want you to return, but crazier still is that you’ve already morphed beyond the place where that could even be possible. There’s nothing left but to honour that with grief and sorrow and goodbyes.

‘You’re the one who changed’ my best friend once told me while out on a hiking trail trying to bridge a conversation about the growing differences between us. He was right. Our unspoken agreement had been about remaining true to a code of values, purpose and meaning. My emerging values, purpose and meaning we’re leaving the parameters of our agreement. My old me simply couldn’t fit in the suitcase any longer and my departure date was fast approaching.

It wasn’t but a couple years later that I sat across from this friend at breakfast, with tears, and said goodbye to him, to our friendship, as where I was going was only going to leave both of us strained in a very unreal friendship, something neither of us were really capable of.

Life, real life, always brings up new enterings and leavings in this way. All of life could be summed up as a series of beginnings and endings in this way, and the most adapted to this reality, in their ability to feel grief and sorrow are truly the happiest campers. Joy comes in the morning and through the mourning.

What is it in life that is shifting and rumbling for you? What are you being asked to grieve and let go? How could you do that in a way that doesn’t leave you more wounded, withdrawn and reserved?

Could I help you make that transition? Could I help you embrace your bigger you? Could I help you find your soul family and passion purpose calling expression?

I moved into a new and brave world as a beginner, and have made some discoveries that may one day bear my name, but for now they are just here being offered to you, as these discoveries need more bold souls to test drive the living, loving and learning. Then it can be our discovery, and not just mine.

I would so welcome hearing from you, more about me and sessions at soulfullheart.org/sessions and you can email me at soulfullhearts@gmail.com. Sessions are for 90 minutes and cost $100 usd. You may also be drawn to one of the three other current SoulFullHeart facilitators, my wife, Jelelle Awen, Aurius Amara, Kasha Rokshana, whose info is also at the link above and who can be reached at the same email address above.

The pic above is from a recent group day with six of us here in Glastonbury/Avalon. We look shiny and lovely because we are most of the time, but also not without some serious mess in the playful bliss, both as couples and as a community.

Love,

Raphael

Our next group call:

taking place on March 14th @ 5pm GMT (London, UK) with Raphael and Jelelle, which will focus on Sacred Sexuality. More info on that call can be found here: soulfullheart.org/grouptransmissions

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

Loving The ‘Ugly Duckling’ Within

Published on March 7, 2021 by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

“Why do I feel so unlovable?”, this part of me says. “Why do I feel so ugly?”

“Who told you you were unlovable and ugly?”, I reply with compassionate curiosity.

“I don’t remember. There are just voices. Whispers in the wind.”, he says.“I don’t see you as ugly or feel you as unlovable. I feel you needing a reflection of Love so you can see and feel what you truly are. Is that hard to let in?”, I ask.

“It is. You can show me and yet the wind comes. Changes the reflection somehow. I wish that wasn’t true.”, he says as his head looks down.

“It’s okay, dear one. I will stay here every day, every minute, every second until you see the real you. The you that I see and feel. The you that doesn’t hold court for the whispers anymore. I will be patiently persistent because I love you. Always…and in all ways.”, I tell him as he looks up with tears in his eyes.

“I would like to see and feel that someday soon. It has always seemed so hard. So permanent. Like nothing can ever change and I will always be like this. I get that I have allowed this perception to persist as reality. I have not felt strong enough to choose otherwise. Maybe with you here with me, reminding me, showing me, feeling me, I can change how I see myself the way you see me. Thank you. I needed this. I may need it in an hour.”, he says with his head down again.

“Then in an hour I shall be here too.”

There are times when a part of us just feels ‘ugly’. I don’t just mean the physical kind but the behavioral and emotive kind. These are times we feel small and want to hide away from the world. It can feel like quicksand and get stuck in a loop.
When you can feel this as a ‘part’ of you then you can start to access a different flow of energy from Divine love source through you to this part of you. A stream of Love through consciousness.

Like the part of me said above, “I may need it in an hour”, then an hour I shall be there. It is an ongoing process of feeling and showing up that leads to healing and eventually a sense of liberation from the “voices in the wind”.

This is a practice at first and then just a way of being with yourself that is just natural and consistent. It is the alchemy of self-to-self love as well as Divine-to-self love. The transmutation from the duckling to the swan. The wounded ego to the Divine Self. All held in love and compassion, not self-improvement. Just self-feeling.

If you are wanting/needing to feel this alchemy within you to support you in your flourish, please contact me for a free intro call to see how the SoulFullHeart process can hold space for that connection and transformation.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Catharsis Of Soul Scream

Published on March 6, 2021March 11, 2021 by Gabriel AmaraLeave a comment

Soul scream….

Hidden and lurking within can be an angst, an anger, a frustration so profound it can rock your world both inside and out.
We are all holding so much inside. Each one of us. Some more or less than others but it is all part of our journeys. Healing sometimes will bring you to the next layers of your soul pain.

This pain from an infinite variety of trauma is stored in the vaults of your soul to be opened and felt when the time is right. When there enough You there to hold it and love it.

Let it rip can be cathartic. It can also be a portal. To release the scream can bring relief, feeling and understanding where it comes from and why it is there can bring transmution and integration.

This Soul Scream can come from repressed truth, witnesses or experienced injustice, Kundalini surges/awakening, and veil lifting. It may be an essential part of our ascension to be intimate and vulnerable with this inner angst.

It holds power, creativity, alchemy, passion, and authentic voice. It is your hidden Real Self coming into contact with the Present. It is gather its sea legs in this dimension and reconciling the trauma and pain.

This is not easy or fun, but it may be necessary to move onto the next phase of growth and healing. When held in safe space such as community and nature it can have life-altering effects.

If you are feeling these rumbles and would like to feel into them more, please feel free to contact me for a free intro call to see how the SoulFullHeart process may support you in this integration and birthing.

*****

Aurius Amara is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator and Collaborator. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, group calls/events, videos, community, etc.

The Joys Of Not Knowing

Published on March 3, 2021March 11, 2021 by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By Raphael Awen

Have you ever noticed that those who claim to not know how to pray offer the best prayers?

So often, it’s our experience and familiarity with something that hampers our arising and new direct interaction with that something.

How could we return to a state of not knowing in order to have a first time experience?

Even asking this question is using experience and knowing as an attempt to return to the innocence not knowing. Isn’t it maddening when the mind gets in the way, even when it’s wanting and willing to get out of the way, but just doesn’t know how?

Wait! I think we solved it, no?

You want to get out of your own way, but don’t know how. Now, you enter the womb of surrender.

You have a desire for something that you have no power or knowledge whatsoever on how you are going to achieve that something. All you have is what you don’t have.

I feel this place where my assets of past experience don’t seem to add up to anything of salvageable value towards entering a new unknown, except for the one asset of not knowing. If I don’t know, then I get to admit that, lead with that, toddle out my first steps into the new thing, laugh goodheartedly at myself along with the others I’m entertaining in the process.

I believe you also, not too far down inside, can feel the place where you don’t know what you are doing.

What if this could be admitted, owned, and cherished instead of a thing of shame and resistance and hiding? Your not knowing is the real gold you came here to share and explore.

You enter the God-zone where even God gets to not know through you.And it makes you really interesting, fun and sexy, if you ask me. Know it alls are boring and dry.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc.

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