“Meet me in this place as soon as life readies you,
and the ripening of old personas prepares them to fall away,
baring only the branches of your truest self
standing naked as an apple tree in winter…”
I remember you as I remember me.
I feel the lifetimes of scarcely feeling one another
yet knowing each other just the same,
though fears and avoidance called us apart
in geography and deeper claim
of everything we wanted to have…
I’m not missing you this time around, love.
My dance continues as you gaze in the windows
with your higher self at the helm of your dreamworld.
…it’s not a dream though.
Everything you see, feel, touch, taste, smell
is me
is us
is what we’re here to have and create together…
I will NOT miss you this round, love!
You will know my lavender call and rose-light glow
of timeless age and accustomed wisdoms
bringing in love-dance energies,
calling out your realest name…
Our bodies will know the exploration
of the deepest caverns among flourishing wild flowers.
My femininity longs for the touch
of a masculinity found through the yin of him…
the feeling-space container of a long unbidden love force
now unleashed and unbound.
I won’t remain un-found by your searchlight
streaming outward
reaching into the places inside my honeycomb tresses
and vines of sacred unity.
We will speak of it all, love!
Of those things we’ve tried and tested
and consciousnesses that have bested us
so far.
It’s a strapping down into a straight-up bolt
of lightning fire creator gifts
launching our ways into the worlds of now
and the expeditions of all kinds
inside these places we have still to rediscover.
I’ll lie awake and think of this, love!
Only this.
Even as I serve and move forward and bring it all back inward.
In these dark nights on my own
and yet not alone.
With the firm grasp of imaginings dawning and breaking
upon the body, heart and soul
that waits and creates for you…
to bumble out a careening new way
WITH you
inside US
and into this endless upward thrust
of upending, ascending existence! ❤
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visitsoulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
As powerful light waves and ascension boosts cascade upon us, this seems to bring up so much ache at times (which some may be surprised by since it has been so covered over for so long) for a mate to share the experience with. There is a growing feeling inside me, of how my heart wants to dance in a picture of the bond I’m waiting for, looking for, aching for, baking for… working for inside myself. As this desire lights me up, I’m reminded to not leave a single stone un-turned, as anyone who pops up on my radar could be the soul and heart I’ve been waiting for.
It feels like sometimes we miss each other… like maybe we tend to walk right by, or “scroll” right by on the internet. We don’t realize that the person grabbing our attention right away may not actually be the one we’re deeply searching and preparing for. Physicality and geography can be big reasons why they evade our inner search engines, as parts of us keep looking for very specific criteria that often no human being could really live into. It doesn’t feel like this is about these criteria though, so much as about resisting relationship, messiness and the mirror it all wants to offer us for our next growth edges. There is so much to be learned on this path of mate desire and so many patterns that become illuminated, and every single bond that arises gives us the opportunity to see and feel ourselves that much deeper.
This is where the ache that we feel for an other to come in and be in a romantic bond with us can really be turned inward instead… which is often the harder mate to be with, for those of us who have parts that resist even that (as I’ve felt in myself during my own process)! Yet the way to be with ourselves is so the way we then can be with others. It’s actually a very powerful practice ground for relationships of all kinds, as we learn to feel ourselves more deeply and also feel more drawn to ourselves as we heal, enjoying time spent with our own hearts and souls. THIS is the overflow place, and the nest that needs the most clearing out and sprucing up in preparation for THE mate to come in… it is the process I embrace and have embraced for a long time now, and something I treasure that’s really blossoming inside me more and more these days. A sincere readiness is arising to let someone else in while I’m also continuing to let MYSELF in… and wow, is THAT ever a lot sometimes! Especially with personal growth continuing and along with that, some strong shifts in what it is I feel I most want in life.
The ache for self is a sincere ache, and one that may actually be more powerfully alive inside you than you now realize consciously. There are parts in there, longing for your love and attention and looking for it outside of you instead, reaching for an energy, a love, that you are meant to cultivate within… placing this need on the outside and asking a partner or friend to be this healing force for you can strain any relationship and can even cause underground resentment as the transaction ground runs out. I’ve been in several bonds that seemed to head in this direction and without enough me there to hold my own ground with my own parts, the ground of these relationships eventually collapsed. This happened in both directions, it feels like… I wasn’t holding myself and he wasn’t holding his. The ache for yourself can only really be answered by you. It is a sovereign, fertile ground for a stunning garden of self-love and reverence to grow and grow and GROW… and life and the relationships you have now WILL mirror this for you, wanting you to see it, for the benefit, first and foremost, of your own heart and soul growth and expansion that then gets to lead and be in intimacy with others AND a mate.
My own ache for myself is now being answered by an arising me that is consciously healing and stepping more and more into service of others. It is what will overflow to a mate soon, as he comes forward and steps into this healing path with me. It is what’s possible for all of us as we earnestly find our way into the caverns inside of us, shining lights in those long-forgotten crevices that still ask for our help. It is an ache that is meant to be felt and quelled and satisfied as well as a power-filled first step into the oncoming stream of outer mateship possibilities that want to reach us and help this cultivated love flow onward, onward, onward…
❤
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, writer, and poetess. Visitsoulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
It is lying in bed with him, my head on his chest…the perfect fleshy pillow seemingly shaped just for me. It is sharing, always sharing, what is moving in my heart and my soul for it to land in his accepting embrace. It is so many early mornings of this, where I land in self AS I land in him AS I land in our Usness.
It is THIS sacred union that brings me into self, introduces me to self over and over as it CALLS me into a higher self version to serve love from the overflow. It is THIS calling that my heart responds to with vulnerability. It is this calling that my soul responds to with awakening. It is this calling that my body responds to with longing. It is this calling that my mind responds to with inspiration.
It is the feminine form of me leaning into the masculine form of him. The polarity and duality dance of our gender-based edges merging and BEcoming and touching and entwining. The dance that creates and alchemizes a NEW energy that wouldn’t be possible without each of us as the partners and creators. My side and his side and then in the middle where our energies meet is this union…..two “I’s” coming together to create a “We” without losing our sense of self.
It is the letting go of the conditioned IDEAS of relationship, romance, and union….letting go of the templating and modeling that we received. Letting go of what doesn’t serve the love to move between us and LETTING IN the essence of us that BEcomes the love more and more. The inner father and the inner mother held and identified and felt so that we can arise beyond these roles into the frequencies of TRUE king and queen BEloveds.
It is THIS queen inside of you that is waiting, ready, growing, choosing. She is getting her inner nest ready to receive these tones of sacred union into her world. She is responding to what FEELS like what she most deeply wants and letting go of ALL that IS not, even as it can be so painful to do so. She is inviting sacred union of self into her life to overflow this energy of invitation OUT to her mate, as her inner frequencies of self love increase so does the strength of HER beacon.
It is THIS king inside of you that is pursuing, activating, growing, choosing. He is getting his inner kingdom ready to hold these tones of sacred union into his world. He is activating around what FEELS like what he most deeply wants and letting go of ALL that IS not, leading the necessary completions or explorations. He is inviting sacred union of self into his life to overflow this energy of invitation OUT to his mate…..as his inner frequencies of self love empowerment increase so does the strength of HIS beacon.
It is this sacred union for which we are ALL being invited to explore, to join, to feel, and to experience. The explorations of our inner unions of feminine and masculine and the OUTER expression of it from one awakening heart, body, mind, soul WITH another in the service of love with love and BY love.
Please join us for a group call this saturday, May 13th at 11:11amCST withRaphael Awen and I exploring this ground of sacred union through teachings, a guided meditation (to connect with your sacred feminine and masculine frequencies within and with the higher self of your sacred union mate), and individual sharings:https://www.facebook.com/events/1320873934656373/ or soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls
~
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
What is it like to be WITH a king man, a vulnerable man, a man that pursues with ALL of his heart, a man who holds space for himself and ALL the feelings that come up inside of him? This is what I felt moved to share today……what it is like to be with a king man from a queen woman’s perspective experiencing our USness ground with Raphael for nine years in sacred union. I felt moved to share what it is like to be with a man opening out into the capacity and potential that I feel ALL men have inside of them….like a seed just waiting for the water of SELF love, SELF worth, and PURE love with and from the Divine to grow and to bloom!
To be with a king man is to feel him cross the space toward you with clarity and with desire. To feel him CLAIM the exploration between you into deeper grounds of intimacy than either of you have EVER known. Raphael crossed the space toward me shortly after we met many years ago. We were sitting in a local Starbucks in Ashland, Oregon, and he rolled out his attraction to me after being around each other during two recent seminars connected to the spiritual and emotional healing group we were both part of. I felt the goodness of him IMMEDIATELY, his big heart and his immense capacity and purity. Parts of me weren’t ready for all this then and the ground between us (as lush as it was) wasn’t transactable between us yet as also he was just out of a 23 year marriage and leaving Christianity and his whole social world behind. He then brought his attraction again to me several months later and I again ‘turned him down’ as it didn’t feel like the timing was right for either of us.
A few years later, the timing was right for both of us and Raphael AGAIN risked to cross the space to pursue me and to claim an exploration between us. NOW I was open and ready for him. On our very first date, he literally cleared the restaurant dishes out of the way when we were done eating, reached out across the table and grasped my hands in his for the first time. The rush of love and desire that moved through me feeling his skin against mine, the tender yet passionate way he held me and US….offered all I needed to ‘KNOW’ about our love and the possibilities of where it would take me. A few moments later, he reached over again towards me and we were kissing passionately on the sidewalk, not caring who saw us or witnessed!
To be with a king man is to feel cherished for ALL aspects of you and their expression grounds. Raphael has wanted me passionately as a physical woman from the beginning. Other men in the past wanted my soul frequencies or my spiritual gifts or priestess frequencies….Raphael could feel all those capacities but also he CRAVED my BODY deeply too! That craving continues to this day…..he notices and comments on every bit of clothing that I put on my body and feels a visceral physical response to what I wrap my body in and the way I physically move through space. He FEELS my physicality and responds to it in an alive way. This is SO important as the body is our precious vessel here and the tones of cherishment and desire coming from a king really light up our queenly self worth and goodness and also help to heal inner punisher and critic energies inside of us that we’ve received from birth family and our 3D culture.
To be with a king man is to feel that he is holding his OWN emotional process and soul growth and physical health. Raphael holds space for himself firstly and primarily. He ‘goes in’ when he needs to in order to feel what needs to be felt or experienced. Yet, also, he is very respectful and responsive to my intuitions and sense of what might be going on for him and even to guidance that comes through me. He leads his OWN process though, so it isn’t about me taking care of him, or being on his ‘side’ or making sure that he grows or about trying to change him. That movement is happening on its own inside of him and it overflows into our USness ground. This allows me to ‘relax’ and be with myself and my own process and to also respond to our USness too.
To be with a king man is to be called into our own growth and process as women. It invites us to open our own hearts wider to match the man’s vulnerability in every moment. It invites us to feel the masculine protector aspects of us as women that guard our sexuality, our vulnerability, our femininity and to negotiate with these energies to be more available for ourselves and for the union. It invites us to KEEP waking up and to keep growing. It invites us into the conscious duality dance and all its richness of experience that flows from within us and then into union WITH him! It invites us to experience in visceral way, a real and grounded way, our expression as Infinite Love as reflected to us through the heart and soul of our king man mate!
One way the potential to BE a king man can be realized is through the SoulFullHeart way of life and process that we offer connecting very directly with aspects of the self that arise from the emotional body and integrating soul aspects from other lifetimes as well through space holding sessions, group calls, and community support. Raphael Awen and Gabriel Heartman (another king man!) are hosting a men’s group call this saturday for the exploration into these king man frequencies through the SoulFullHeart perspective: https://www.facebook.com/events/1257237587706349/
Also, join us for a SoulFullHeart group call about sacred union on May 13th with a guided meditation and teachings offering sacred union frequencies and activations: https://www.facebook.com/events/1320873934656373/
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine and union facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book,Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Raphael and Jelelle Awen in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
“Sacred Union Codes Coming In!” We felt these words coming from our guides today as we lay out in the sun together. These vibrational codes that are coming in via the sun are really an invitation, as well as the event that the invitation heralds. They invite us into deeper union with masculine and feminine energies in relationship expression with a mate (although there is a ‘with yourself’ invitation of course here too that is critical to embrace and embody the inner feminine and masculine.) We have been Sacred Union mates for nine years and what we call ‘Counterpart Souls’ here to serve love together. We offer this template to others through a conscious process and a way of life we created called SoulFullHeart.
These codes from Divine Source/Universe invite us into this experience of Sacred Union from a higher vibrational frequency of HEALTHINESS that hasn’t been possible before. This healthiness aspect of Sacred Union differentiates itself significantly from what is commonly called ‘twin flame’ relationships where couples and individuals have too often suffered in a bond that lacked boundaries and self care, and used the idealized twin flame picture as a way to loop in a shadow playout of codependent suffering. We both have felt this differentiation is an important one, and we intend to write about it more in the near future. Sacred Union, along with the picture of what we are calling ‘counterpart souls’, welcomes us to explore into our deeply held fantasies about what an idealized romance could look and feel like, but it also offers clear guidelines about alive personal boundaries and awakenings that are necessary to ground that, make that possible, and keep it emotionally healthy.
This invitation to Sacred Union seems to be a critical aspect of the ascension process that will fast track many of us in ways not possible before, especially those of us called to be waySHOWers and path layers (‘bush whackers’, as we have affectionately called it).
The desire for Sacred Union runs deep in our collective consciousness. Romantic movies, songs, stories….it all activates our passions, our desire for union with an ‘other’, joining together to experience both the exquisiteness of union and the powerful mirror that it offers of both our shadow and our light. We have experienced personally and in space holding with others for many years that a TRUE sacred union is one where there are ACTIVE and ALIVE grounds of transactability in heart, soul, body, and mind PLUS a larger container of good will, respect, and love that holds the exploration for the relationship.
In a TRUE Sacred Union, there is a commitment by BOTH individual partners toward their personal healing and growth and awakening. It is this personal and conscious commitment of both partners that opens out the mutual growth and intimacy possibilities. The personal precedes and fills the mutual, and this is a big part of what makes it a SACRED Union and not a SCARED one. In a Sacred Union, each partner’s sense of growing self worth and soul embodiment floods into the ‘usness’ ground, which is what we call the third energy created when two people come together in relationship.
Sacred Union is evident in the ‘transactability’ in the ‘usness ground’ on many levels. The key pieces are hot sexual desire (that goes FAR BEYOND lust or just body chemistry); sharing deepest vulnerabilities of the heart; expansive connection between the souls (telepathy, remembrance of other lifetimes together that are happening NOW, clarity and service of love mission together); mental resonance of values and vibrant idea exchange; and a deep and easy compatibility in everyday, practical living.
People can get confused by the capacity or the potential of a relationship to become a Sacred Union, when really, it only qualifies as one if it is actually currently transacting in these grounds in a way that is ultimately nourishing for both partners MOST of the time. All too often one partner in a relationship will speak to their relationships’ potential or their partners’ potential as a reason to remain in a relationship that has little healthy nourishment. The harder truth to feel here is that remaining in a romantic relationship that has potential to one day, but doesn’t presently, meet your deepest healthy needs and fulfill your wildest dreams serves to diminish the likelihood that the potential will be realized, unless it is being consciously worked by both partners.
A scared union, FAR more common, is based in codependence and the sticky grounds of the relationship that seems to be mostly hookups between different parts of people: the most common hookups being between the inner child in one partner and a father or mother aspect in the other; or between two inner children; or two inner punisher/critics or the inner punisher of one hooked up to the shame part in the other; or an inner narcissist with the inner empath in the other; etc. The scared union is still a sacred one, in the sense that it is necessary for a phase and can offer a deep crucible of healing for souls who sign up to awaken within it.
Often times in a scared union, one of the partners ‘wakes up’ to what isn’t working in the relationship and consciously wants more. He or she may engage in ‘affairs’ of different kinds, or they may admit they want to complete the relationship while the other ‘doesn’t get it’. Often it is the woman in the relationship who ‘wakes up’ before the man, who may be more hooked in to ‘taking care of mom’ and not conscious of how he is actually not happy in his experience of the union. If only one partner is awakening and the other is not, this is NOT a sacred union as the souls are not aligning in mutual desire and illumination, inspiring each other to grow and remember. This is a painful crucible to go through for both partners, especially the one who is awakening with possible guilt and shame that can come up from the emotional body around any obligation and loyalty ideals. Inner negotiation can be helpful to navigate the completion and also healing the karma between the two partners. If one partner feels very committed to the relationship and the other does not and keeps ‘running’, which is justified in the twin flame paradigm, this is NOT a Sacred Union either as Sacred Union ground thrives on the sense of mutual dedication and devotion to the ‘usness’ and being in it together.
For those who are ready and been on the awakening, self healing, and ascension path, SACRED Union offers the end of ‘shrinking to fit’ to ANY relationship or settling for less than what your soul most deeply wants and desires. The codes coming now seem to be supporting that for those who are ready, their higher self and guides will set up synchronicities for them to meet their Sacred Union counterpart mate (or to finally ‘see’ them if you already know each other). This meeting of your counterpart may even happen for those souls currently IN relationship together, which will certainly cause some major upheaval and emotional processing.
For those ALREADY in a relationship, these codes seem to be creating quite a SHAKE UP to the grounds of the relationship, amplifying and illuminating the deepest heart and soul desires AND the shadow aspects that may be hanging out there. Even Sacred Unions may be feeling this rumble and be called to recommit to the union in ALL domains and connect even deeper to the ultimate REASON why these Sacred Unions are coming together and being supported: to serve love. The service of love is the reason for it, which is a bigger context that provides a foundational energy of resonance for those souls experiencing it. The personal growth that Sacred Unions provide is, ultimately, for the service of love WITH others. This is the call that we feel is contained in these codes too….those who let them in and hear and feel this call will find that their previous form of service may collapse, reshape, go through a death or dark night, and arise again from the ashes in a NEW form that is deeply connected to their Sacred Union mate in co-creation and co-offering.
This invitation to Sacred Union is an ongoing one….certainly an ongoing process that offers such aliveness, goodness, magic, growth, and opportunity to serve love. The Universe seems to be hugely supporting and needing this dualistic experiment to move more consciously and healthily into these domains for those who join together and join their intentions together to serve love. The partners are then able to offer and serve love in an exponential way to those ready to receive it! It’s a tall order, but the rewards are out of this world!
~
Join us for a SoulFullHeart group call with Raphael and Jelelle Awen about sacred union on May 13th with a guided meditation and teachings offering sacred union frequencies and activations: https://www.facebook.com/events/1320873934656373/
This is the recording of powerful teachings from Raphael and Jelelle about sacred union, scared unions, and the codes coming in inviting singles and couples into deeper frequencies of union within and with their sacred union mate. We also offer a guided meditation together to activate you to sacred feminine and masculine frequencies from within YOURSELF, creating a bridge of connection to Divine Masculine energy as energized by Christiel, and Divine Feminine energy as energized by Magdalena. Then, you are invited to connect with the higher self of your Sacred Union mate….to feel and to talk with them (even if you are currently in a relationship…maybe it will be current partner, maybe not.)
Raphael and Jelelle Awen are spiritual teachers, facilitators, authors, and co-creators of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. They offer space holding together for couples who want to deepen their bond within sacred union (in addition to working with individuals one-on-one – Raphael with men and Jelelle with women over 30.) They have been in sacred union commitment since 2008, experiencing the challenges and growth that come from such a crucible. Both are Divine scribes and share their writings regularly on facebook, their blog atsoulfullheartblog.com and through books that are available on amazon.com.
New openings, timelines collapsing WITH love….as that is the only way they DO or CAN collapse! Somehow I KNEW this yet today I am experiencing it deeply and profoundly and so tenderly within myself and WITH my relationship WITH Raphael too. Some storms blew in, old timeline energies, and we were with this together, letting some parts of us come up to that needed to AND love held the space as it always does with us as it is more TRUE and real than the conflict.
Right now, not many words, just wanted to share the energy with you of a sacred union that continues to open out into deeper frequencies of true UNION, where we are deliciously separate yet more ‘in’ and ‘with’……this sense that LOVE is the bigger truth has always been there with us, from our earliest days together, and just deepening now….even as sometimes we live into the timeline of letting go and completing. BOTH can happen at the same time in this ground of individuals who are healing and working with parts of themselves and then coming together in ‘usness’, not to cling, not in binds….but to be joined by the bonds of love and growth.
I WISH this experience of sacred union in ALL grounds of heart, body, mind, and soul for all the women in my heart right now that I am honored to serve with love in session space and those that are in my orbit or energy, feeling into a deeper connection. I WISH this for all the men too and I offer service from a heart that is LIVING this to help show the way, just temporarily, as the remembrance of the possibility becomes YOUR reality too more and more.
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, sacred feminine facilitator, soul scribe, waySHOWer, galactic love ambassador, and co-creator and teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
If I had the words, I would build a bridge for you
Yet the feelings are beyond words
As no thing, no utterance, no colour
Quite stands for what I want to say.
My expression lives in the hindsight of opportunities passed
No chariot can I bring
To take you there.
No horse can I mount
To beckon you to my side.
No moving object with forward thrust
Except the mothership of time
Space
Love
Can take us where we need to go
Together
Separate
As one in the same, but different.
If I had the syllables, I would hammer you a bridge.
I would sing you a summons of rocky foundations
And dance you a twining of steady ropes and wood.
I would howl at the moon
To bring about change
As feelings ripple through reality.
I would touch your heart
And caress your soul
As I take your hand to mine.
Yet then, it isn’t up to me…
So I let go of the line
Trusting that it’s there
To grasp onto when you need it
Or when I need it
Or when life wants me to lead with it.
…And maybe it’s not my job to construct a bridge for you,
And the search for you is like a treasure hunt
Maybe even one you don’t realize you’re on.
The map is in your subconscious hands
Being navigated by a vessel made by and for love.
A love you have yet to know consciously
But it moves you just the same.
And then…I realize you are your own treasure
Wholly sacred
Despite protests and messages
That tell you you aren’t.
If there is anything I wish to give to you,
It is the gift of your already growing consciousness
Becoming more conscious
In every waking and sleeping moment
Of your very blessed life.
And for now…
For now I let go the rope that binds you to my word
For my word is not yours
And my voice can be but echoes
Of what is already inside you
Waiting
Waiting
Wanting to leave its once comfortable nest To find its rest in places of highest being Strongest calling and deepest healing.
There is a forest where we two shall meet once again,
An oasis of authentic love,
A heaven that is always with us
A haven of true faith
Where what binds us is healed
And what bonds us can finally be revealed.
***
Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge and healer, writer, and poetess. Visitsoulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane
I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I’m waiting for my real life to begin
from Waiting For My Real Life To Begin by Colin Hay
These words found there way to me through an interesting route that is so feminine in its nature. Seemingly random thoughts and exchanges that landed a song into my dock. I was feeling into what I wanted to write about today and this song hit a chord and I felt to play it and see what tune it sings.
For those that are in more 4D consciousness, whether just entered or are seasoned veterans (interesting choice of words), there can be this sense that something hasn´t quite shifted on the outside to reflect the growing awareness of what feels true on the inside. There can be this feeling of looking toward the horizon waiting for something to happen. In the song, he also uses the words `I have a plan` and `times are just lean`. There is an externalization, a projection onto life, that it is not on our side or we need to take control in someway to create a desired outcome that hasn`t arrived yet. That the passion and desire inside are conditional to some set of external circumstances that have to occur in order to be set free.
I remember this well in my own journey, feeling stuck in a `good career`. Trying to seek many different ways to make it all okay even as I was still `walking down the same ol` cobblestone streets`. What was needing to happen was what the song suggested and that was to be in the moment and go into your heart. Feel what was really trying to be felt and expressed. Nothing on the outside could make that any better. It was I that had to make the journey in and listen to my soul.
The waiting was just a suffering. A denial to really feel what was evidently true but a part of me was afraid to admit. A more wounded masculine need to control something in order to resist what was true. By going more still and surrendering to the feelings, I could allow these feelings to arise and be held in space created by a more solid me and the much needed support of another to hold that truth until I could do it on my own more regularly. Feeling the fears and resistances to claiming my own power from with. True empowerment. Not control.
Being in a more Yin space helps to feel how parts of us are so afraid of actually letting go of a conditioning or a relationship that is keeping us stuck and in state of suffering. There many that have done that for themselves and there are those, like myself, who needed support. It is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Leaning IN order to raise UP. Support and guidance comes in all forms. The key is to seek it so that you may help heal it. I can feel how this can be more difficult for men than for woman but that may be shifting as more men continue to find the value of going in and feeling all there is to feel to stop the waiting and start the living. That is what I wanted. Tired of the mask. Tired of pretending. Tired of the waiting. Because there is no time than NOW. But I hold so much gratitude for that suffering because it brought me to a more authentic place of BEing and living. It made the alleged comfortable very uncomfortable, so that there were only two choices…and then really only one. Let go and Go IN.
Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. You can learn more about him atwww.soulfullheartwayoflife.com
You have been made Aware. You SEE and FEEL how life is so much more than what you have been conditioned to see and protected to feel. You cannot be made unaware. You can choose to ignore, but it is always there. You may not have anyone to talk to about it, or, as much as they want to, they just can’t understand. You continue to learn more, to understand more, to feel more. The Light presses upon what is no longer serving this new, yet stillborn, YOU. It can be okay at times. Just letting it unfold in its due course. Other times it can be painful as hell. For some it can be existential and down right scary. What is it that can help this uncertainty?
Going into the geography of your heart may find you are at the end of a line….a timeline. An old way of being able to pull it all together to get through each day. There may be a moment when you finally realize the two worlds…just…don’t…jive. These could be relationships to people, things, behaviors, and thought patterns. Whatever it is that is not aligning with your Highest Desire and Inner Knowing. There is a rub between what you feel needs to be done to continue growing and how a part of you feels about that.
This can be a difficult process and the heart of what it means to live in 4D consciousness. There is a bitter-sweet feeling about it. There are bridges to burn, ropes to let go of, and chords to cut. In SoulFullHeart this is held as a sacred and negotiated process in compassionate concert with a part of you being held in heart space by this arising New You and the open heart of another who has been down that road. There are ebbs and flows. Baby steps and great leaps. All in the timing set by you, your Higher Self, and the parts of you so invested. The more emotional energy invested the more negotiation needed.
When the time eventually arises that a choice needs to be made for your greatest good, the space both before and after is big. It is a time to take stock of all that the relationship has meant to you, whether it be a romantic partner, a family member, a friend, a suffering loop, a drug, a food, or anything else under the sun that holds this energy. It is a time to feel what was learned, and what will be lost. This is the Mourning Time. This time has been held with much grace and honor across cultures. It is a phase in which you fully enter the pain, remorse, or any other feeling that comes up in order to fully exit. It is not a one day deal in many cases. The mourning is a process just like the one getting to it. But the more the mourning is inhabited, not with suffering, the more the relationship can be honored and made sacred.
This is a time of reflection, feeling, music, writing, sleeping, crying, laughing, remembering, and a plethora of other actions that arise to honor the space. All of it is important and beautiful. The amount of reverence given to this period the more reverence is given to what is to come. The rain washes away the smoke and soot of the fire to reveal the dawn of a new day. The air is fresher and the possibilities are endless. That is the gift on the other side. But it is one of great price to these parts of us who have held on for so long and for good reason. These continue to happen throughout the journey in our ascension, and the more we go into them the less they will occur as we keep the spiral going IN and UP.
I honor and admire all of us that have been through this, are going through it, and are approaching it. This time can be the most memorable of all as markers into your New You. It is so incredible to be able to go through it with others that have been there and feel the true courage it took to make these challenging choices. I hope to be a witness to them in any way possible. It is the magic of death and rebirth that fuels the propellers of Life.
Gabriel Heartman is a teacher, facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. You can learn more about him atwww.soulfullheartwayoflife.com
She is expanding, growing, learning. Each drop of remembered kNOWledge waters the seed of her sacred human self and she so WANTS to grow now. Looking and searching for resonance to mirror her growing sense of soul, she needs the NEW reflection to transform into the NEW her that is waiting, spring loaded to become WHO she REALLY is.
She aches for MORE….more love, more light, more growth, more newness, more connection, more intimacy, more joy, more passion, more realness, more authenticity, more health. She feels this desire for MORE most of her moments and the ways and means to suppress it with distractions are not working as well as they used to. The part of her that wants to protect her from pain and keep her safe TRYS to suppress the wanting and the growing, yet THAT doesn’t seem to be working in the ways that it used to anymore.
Her friends, her family, her mate…they are watching this transformation as witnesses who, on a soul level ‘signed up’ to witness it. Maybe they are uneasy about it. Maybe they are resistant about it. Maybe they are inspired by it. Maybe they are coming along. Maybe they are not.
Oh, and her mate….if he is not feeling the same stirrings and call of healing the heart and awakening the soul, her heart aches to share this WITH him. Staying on her side in moments (let it arise in him through him) and then venturing over onto HIS side again (please come with me!) and back and forth. This is an uneasy dance with it can feel like no easy answers with neither partner doing anything wrong or BEing wrong.
As the dance plays out, she may reach a place where she can no longer ‘shrink’ to the old dynamic ground in the relationship to be with him. The place where they used to ‘meet’ each other has literally collapsed through her own growth and this has CHANGED the ground of their ‘usness’….the third energy created when two people come together in mateship. The usness has shifted from wherever it was when they agreed to BE together as it is based on energy and NOT an actual contract at all.
She may reach this place of not being able to allow the dynamic anymore in a dramatic sweep of realization that leads to immediate changes and transitions and completions. She may reach this in small increments and through negotiations with self and with him along the way. Through this negotiation maybe he WILL come along because it is his time and his desire to be and do so. OR he cannot and yet…..on she moves because now her growth cannot be contained without staying in suffering or in a lower frequency EVEN as love remains.
This is written for and inspired by women I have connected with through SoulFullHeart recently in this situation, finding (and ultimately choosing on the soul level) themselves HERE….in this place of awakening while their mate doesn’t seem to be coming along with them. I feel how this situation can be reversed too, with the man awakening and the woman choosing to remain in the same consciousness frequency….yet it feels to me that most often it happens in this way as yin has tended to lead in these grounds.
Drawing this situation is a reflection of the woman to look into herself. It is an invitation to feel how her mate’s (and those in other relationships) lack of resonance reflects a shadow aspect of herself that is ALSO not in resonance with her growth, a part of her that may resist awakening, or is very afraid of it. If she is deciding to stay within the relationship even without the deeper soul resonance and even perhaps outward resistance and maybe even abusive frequencies, then there IS a part(s) of her that feels the same way for which his lack of resonance represents. Without access to these parts of herself, she will make it about the outside, about him, about others RATHER than about herself for which they are just a reflection. Focusing on the outside in this way leads to disempowerment feelings and more sense of suffering and impotence.
She is not a victim but rather willing participant in this dance until she no longer chooses to be. Going within to find the parts of her that are represented here is the way to access her inner power, to feel possible next steps and choices, to navigate from HER side.
Living within a relationship with mutual resonance of body, heart, and soul with Raphael for close to nine years has filled my woman’s heart with loved UPness, compassion and I can template a NEW way for women to experience themselves within a sacred union ground. And a new way to relate to themselves for which ALL aspects of themselves (even those in shadow) are held and explored with a loving curiosity and tenderness WITH internal boundary setting also happening when it is needed.
There is a NEW way of 5D relationship in which their mate is inspiring them to grow, supporting ALL of their movements which support their soul, and which love becomes more and more pure between the two partners as they dedicate themselves to their inner healing and soul awakening. Often what people feel is ‘love’ in romantic relationship is actually a sticky, codependent frequency of need from one part of them to another part in their mate (example, inner child in the woman hooked up with the patriarch in the man, the matriarch in the woman hooked up with the inner child in the man, inner punishers in both hooked up together.)
It is a complicated dynamic and yet love will steer through it if there is willingness to feel, to heal, to grow, and to be REAL with what the emotional reality actual IS and the degree of suffering over suffering exists from inside. No more suffering becomes the motivation for change until love leads the way more and more with suffering becoming a rarer occurrence. It IS possible to experience this PURE love ground in relationships to the degree it is happening from within, from inside, from one aspect to another.
If you are a woman in this situation, you may need someone to hold space for this process of going within, accessing these aspects of yourself, and I would be honored to serve love with you in this process as it was my own in the past. Go here to read more about that: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/jelellesessions. I know that Raphael Awen would be honored to serve the male side of the relationship (or if the situation is reversed.):
Jelelle Awen is an emoto-spiritual teacher, soul scribe, wayshower, multidimensional bridge, lover of love and co-creator and facilitator of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is author of Keep Waking Up! Awakening Journeys To Avalon And Beyond and an upcoming book, Sacred Human, Arising Wonder. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions with her, group calls, videos, community, etc.
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