Tag: self-love

Leaving The Prickly Nest For Love

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

I’m learning what feels like a kindergartners lesson on one hand, and feels like the most advanced stuff I’ve ever heard on the other:

When I’m (a part of me) living in fear of someone, or something, or the government, I’ve given away my power to that someone, that something, that authority, and it feels scary because I’m seeing my own power turned on me. It’s a me to me internal war being projected out.

In these profoundly changing times, YOU are also profoundly changing. What’s worked in the past, socially, financially, what you can and can’t eat, isn’t working the same way. New workings are trying to get in the door as old ones are completing.

These upheavals to your well-being are not signs that you are lacking in any spiritual attainment, but rather an invitation into a new attainment and ground of being.

The universe knows you’re ready to fly, and so, like the mama eagle makes the nest prickly when it’s time to get her eaglets to attempt their first launch, so the universe and love itself is bringing new and surprising challenges, cause it’s getting very close to your time to fly.

You home is the skies and the nest! You are meant to be nestled in a love you haven’t known in a very long while.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

What You Really Want Is Love

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

By Raphael Awen

What you really want is love.

Things we call ‘attachments’ are only placeholders that parts of us hold onto as love until something better shows up. Who can blame parts of us for doing that. We are made for love.

A child being only willing to eat french fries and chicken nuggets is because he found love and comfort in them and they landed in a place that only feels like the absence of love.

As adults, so much of our routines in habit, diet, feeling states, relationships that we keep or don’t keep, are all so full of these ‘attachments’. Another part of us that we all have until they are felt and healed is an Inner Punisher, and this part is connected to another part of us that holds deep shame. This sets up a punishment-shame cycle dynamic that is meant to protect us and keep us safe which is hard to grasp at first begging the question of ‘why would we do such barbaric things to ourselves in the name of safety?’ The simple answer is that in our subconscious we hold deep memory of feeling love’s absence and a deep culture shock from when we first landed here in the human domain, and felt how non-heart-resonant the hearts of our caregivers were.

Now, it’s up to us to feel how so much self-improvement and problem fixing energy in our lives is actually the problem, not any kind of solution. You are not a broken person needing fixing. You are a profoundly beautiful being made of love and by love and are coming to terms with the love that you are. Part of this acclimatization to love is your willingness as a soul to come to a place that feels like ‘not-love’ in order to afford you an awakening process to the love that you are as a profound soul growth. Your existence and the essence of your being is so much more than than what you and I know and feel in the 3rd dimensional reality of time and space here on Gaia.

So, instead of running yourself through the ringer with feeling and trying to change a persistent negative and harmful pattern or behaviour, what about instead feeling the part of you who needs that pattern or behaviour and why they do? What about getting to know this magical part of you stuck in their french fry and mcnuggett world? They are your portal into the more that you are and are longing to feel and be. They are ‘attached’ to what they know and feel as love. It’s up to you and I to lead with something more, rather than substituting one attachment for another.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

The Flow Of Joy

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

By Raphael Awen

Joy isn’t a state of being as much as it is a state of flow.

Flow is about what you are letting in and what you are letting out of your life.

Increased joy will mean a sped up sense of how fast you are able to be with the hello’s and goodbye’s in your life, whether that be to people, places, things, foods, etc. – life as you know it.

Being with all this means holding space for the parts of you that have very understandable reactions to the changes. They want changes just as much as you, but they each have different valid concerns about the how and what and why, as well as the timing of those changes.

It’s up to you to show up as an ambassador to these distinct parts of yourself with an open heart ready and willing to feel through their eyes, hear with their ears, and be changed in the process.

This is the process of returning to the flow state of joy.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

A Letter To The Third Dimension

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Dear 3D,

I felt inspired to write to you because I can feel my own reactions to you at times as well as the collective on their healing journeys. There can be a lot of frustration with you about how difficult, slow, and dense you can be.

I know that there is a lot that is projected onto you. We can make you a scapegoat for all the things that we feel inside about ourselves. So much desire and passion that want to be expressed and created without limitations in the way. I feel this most poignantly when it comes to money and law. I feel it in entertainment and consumerism.

I feel that when I curse you, I am cursing myself. Choosing to become powerless for the sake of my own fear and unworthiness. I am no longer responsible for my own God-given creative energy. I make you an oppressive parent and me a defiant teenager. Where does that get either one of us?

I am realizing through my own healing that I, with the rest of humanity, created you…willfully. You are the ‘prison’ of our own making. I am realizing that your gift was to be a playground of my growth and empowerment. I get to see and feel myself not in spite of you but BECAUSE of you.

So in this moment I want to say thank you. Thank you for the difficulties. Thank you for the shitty jobs and the small talk. Thank you for the relationships I needed to draw boundaries with. Thank you for the jail time and the education. Thank you for the chocolate and the ability to pay back my debts. Thank you for the bankruptcy. Thank you for all the challenges that I set up for myself so that I could overcome and heal through them.

I can now “see” you for what you are. You are what I get to cooperate, coordinate, and create with. You are my teacher and my biggest fan. I feel that now. This is how I would rather be in relation to you. I want to work with you and not against you. From here on out…amen.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

What Is The Violence Telling Us?

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

The latest attacks in Sri Lanka have left another gaping hole in the heart of our collective humanity. I could feel my own initial numbness to it as “just another day in the news”. I really didn’t want that to be the case, but it can be hard when tragedy seems to strike in so many different places. I don’t take in too much of the details as I can get be a lot to let in, yet to feel what it is that is going on in our world, in our Heart.

We can’t help but to be affected by each of these acts of violence. They shake something deep inside of us even if we are not paying attention. Our soul knows what is happening. There is an underground river of despair that runs through our shadow. This despair can foment into so much need for resonance. Anything that makes one feel that they are not alone. There is a community that forms around this wound, this need for acceptance, purpose, and empowerment. The manifestation of this level of violence is a reflection of this depth of this pain.

Even the Lone Wolves seek audience.

We are a global community in need of feeling loved. Feeling like we belong to something greater even if that ‘love’ shows itself as violence. We have something deeply guarded in all of us that finds its way to the surface in one form or another. No policy, sanction, or security measure can heal that. It can mitigate it but not truly transform it. The only power we have is Love.

It is healing locally to shift globally. Nothing gets more local than you. What lies in each of us that is seeking our love? What violence still resides inside? What does Love truly mean to you and/or parts of you? Getting away from the chatter of the news cycle, the despair, and the rage, gives us a chance to go within to feel where Love still has its work to do.

I feel this as a sober reminder to myself that there is more to feel. More timelines that are recapitulating and recycling back onto the world’s stage for remembrance and reconciliation. Where do I live in all of that? What is still afraid to be seen in fear of retribution? This is the deeper work of our personal power and responsiveness to ascension.

Heaven is felt into, not fought for.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

You Are Magnificent Beauty

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

When we see something magnificent being destroyed, there is a way in which a part of us is seeing ourselves in that destruction.

The initial reaction is to rebuild to its original glory. That is a need to get back what has felt as being lost.

If what we see outside of us is a reflection of what is INside of us then we can see how none of it is ever gone, just hidden or forgotten.

Beauty and magnificence is embedded within. What is falling or has fallen in 3D can be turned inward and seen as forever living in your heart. If it is perceived as evil then where is the unhealed shadow? If it is perceived as grace and godly then what prevents you as seeing yourself as such?

The Divine doesn’t seek your awe or your warrior. It seeks to see Itself through you, with you, and as you. Amen.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Living And Healing Into Trust

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Photo by WhiteSparks Photography

Trust is one of the hardest things to lean into when it feels like the world around you and/or inside of you is collapsing.

We are comprised of so many experiences that can point to the opposite of trust and thus induce anxiety and despair. This is a big ship to turn around. The energy can be thick and soupy. Yet, when you come to meet this energy inside as a PART of your BEing and essence, a larger container comes to provide a breathing space of compassion and curiosity.

Parts such as the Inner Protector, Inner Child/Teenager, Inner Mother/Father, Gatekeeper, and Metasoul aspects contain a plethora of feeling data that can shed light on this distrust. It is also contained in the collective.

As you begin to unravel and heartfully feel these parts and aspects, within the space of another open-hearted experiencer, the clouds of this distrust begin to give way to the deeper Trust that lives in ALL of us.

What would life look and feel like if you could fully lean into that faint voice of intuition, passion, and desire?

The more you can lean into that and divest of any particular outcome, life takes on a whole new organic and sacredly mysterious quality that can only serve your highest well-being and purpose. The root of this begins where distrust lives and breathes…inside the heart and soul.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Deepening Or Rewriting Our Inner Story Is The Process Of Ascension

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

The narratives by which we live and subscribe to are meant to be challenged in order to feel whether or not they continue to resonate with our deepest sense of self and love. These challenges can arise from our own self-led explorations, or by circumstances conspired by our Higher Selves that may feel like explosions in our lives.

Either the narrative deepens or it shifts. I don’t know if we can be without one. It is what brings us to our deepest meaning as human beings. It is what we give our energy to and what we get back from it. It is like a story you are writing, reading, and invested in at the same time.

We are also stories within a story. Narratives can conflict with one another or they can align. When they conflict there is a visceral sense of something being off or it can manifest in a wild physical and emotional ride. Our current and past timelines are those stories that are wreaking their own havoc in this life and are looking for some reSOULution, some relief from the fear, suffering, and pain.

Taking the time to examine and reread these stories with compassion and a willingness to feel them helps to disengage from those storylines that no longer serve your highest needs and worth. The rewriting process takes time in order to re-engage into something higher in the service to Love.

What stories are being written and read from within? 
What are the ones that you would like to see shift?
Which ones are hard to read and even harder to write? 
What would your Greatest Story Ever Told feel like?

These are questions that can be answered with love and support when they are ready to be read and loved by another in service of your next chapter or novel.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Healing Inner Conflict Into Our Embodied Truth And Service Of Love

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

Over the past few months, I have felt myself in a very awkward space between two of the most influential people in my healing journey. There have been times when parts of me could feel this tug to ‘side’ one way or another.

As a young boy, my parents were in a state of bitter contention at the end of their marriage. I felt the split inside of me to care-take both of them but for different reasons. This conflict found its way inside at an early and impressionable age. What was ‘right’ was more important than what was ‘true’. This theme also plays out in many soul timelines that are looking for connection and resolution.

As I felt this arise in myself once more, I could feel the ways in which this tug was always inside of me regarding my truth and needs. This is the ongoing work for me. It has been a challenge for parts of me this life to be in a seat of self-loving power, personal clarity, and expression. I could not have felt this without this relational experience.

We think we have ‘cleared’ or ‘released’ something inside of us when in reality it is always another turn in the spiral of healing. The energy is less and less but the theme will arise when it needs to in order to feel and heal it again. Each time arising anew and changed. I feel another layer of who I am as I continue to express more of my needs and truths.

This is ongoing. I feel more there to explore, examine, and offer love to. I used to feel that this was a disqualifier for me as a healer and leader. Now I am learning to accept that this is my personal certification process. I can only serve that which I have chosen to witness and heal within myself.

This arena of truth is a big top world, and it has much to teach us about who we are as men, women, humans, and BEings. It is the poultice of our soul.

Join me for my ongoing video series that I began yesterday as I will talk about this and other topics related specifically for men, but intended for all. Thank you as always for your taking in of my journey and how it may serve your own.

*****

Gabriel Solais is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

The Crucibles And Gifts Of Sacred Union

Published on by Gabriel Heartman2 Comments

by Gabriel & Kalayna Solais

It’s in what we see in each other’s eyes. It’s alive in the touches of mutual nourishment and softness. It’s present in the sometimes fervent moments of conflict or advocating for each other or ourselves. We see each other as each other and yet as very different beings too, each with their own path and their own healing crucibles, riding alongside this mutually claimed healing crucible of being in Sacred Union… which we claim for its depth not its length.

A ‘successful marriage’, to us, means a commitment of heart, soul and body that has found all the depth it can in this current lifetime and phase too. It’s not about staying together ‘forever’. It’s about being in this exploration of a deeper bond with each other while feeling all it pushes up and yet helps heal too inside of each of us as individuals.

This is not a perfect process. We engaged in romance on a few occasions so that we could see deeper into ourselves at each turn. The blind spots, the shadow, is revealed in the dance of intimacy. At times they moved us to new places and new ground between each other, and at others they took us to a completion that sent us on a more singular quest of self-understanding and growth. Each one leading us to new awareness and new desires…..sometimes for others and eventually back again.

In this current revolution of our Usness (the bond that lives between each of our sovereign beings), we have chosen to go deeper into this soul pairing. We have felt parts of ourselves that relate to each other’s parts in different ways. Many of our differences and conflicts arise from the meeting of these parts and Metasoul aspects. This is the quantum healing that is possible inside of this kind of conscious union. We are not together to ‘ride it out’, but to go deeper into our growth and soul edges. We both have masculine and feminine parts relating to each other, soul contracts to feel and resolve, lifetimes of joy and pain to integrate together. We have felt our kings and queens, soldiers and maidens, priests and priestesses, and galactic counterparts.

~

Gabriel: The journey of Sacred Union with Other begins with Self. What we feel and see about ourselves is reflected in those we relate to, especially those we are most intimate with. The ache for Other that may reside within is in large part an ache for Self. As a part of this journey with my beloved wife Kalayna, it was a process of falling in love with me. My parts. My parts loving themselves and being loved by me. One big Me love fest. It is that love of self and selves that beacons and draws that which is alive on the inside.

~

Kalayna: When I look at Gabriel, most of the time I can see him on all of these different levels and layers of who he is. Yet, he arises as a mystery to me. Also, there are moments and days where the soul isn’t seen right away, where he is a body in a space shared with my own. These moments though, I’m grateful and happy to say, are few, because of the degree of mutual respect and reverence we have for each other that still continues to deepen.

At the end of the day, I’m grateful for every moment spent with him and every moment that this relationship has helped reflect to me my next places to go inside, even if this is the last day we have together in this romantic bond. I feel my parts pinging off of and interacting with different parts of him in this this-life dance we share. I also feel, especially during love making and moments of deepening together, the other-life dances our souls share, sometimes unbeknownst to us yet ever present somehow. I desire for more depth with him, to venture off into many sunsets with this man, riding this horse called “Sacred Union”, trusting the unfolding of the path we share.

~

Gabriel: We know each other well in some respects, but are a complete mystery in another. Kalayna has continued to arise as a woman and blossoming feminine leader whose scent gets sweeter and succulent each time. Her passion and shadow reflect mine. She activates and triggers what needs to as part of my own growth and response to my own leadership. This has happened both in and out of romance, but this Sacred Union calls something forward that is part of each other’s crucible of Love’s ambassadorship. It is us and more than us at the same time.

~

Kalayna: Love is always here with all of us, inextricably part of us yet also making up our whole being. We cannot be ‘left’ or ‘abandoned’ by it, though the imprint of feeling this way in the trauma of separation from Divine love especially has made it feel to parts of us like sometimes love really does ‘leave’. In past relationships, even in past phases of romance with Gabriel, I’ve felt parts of me cling to him as to a liferaft. I still feel where I need to go with parts of me in their sometimes over-attachment to him and the comfort and natural solace he brings to the relationship, in order to help them find that more with me than with him. This feels so important for any and all relationships in my life actually, and is what the main process is sometimes for me… to keep bringing it all back to me, back inward, to find, cultivate, and nourish the ultimate source of comfort and love there and with the Divine as well.

~

Gabriel: There have been times of complete overwhelm and resistance and other times of ecstasy and bliss. The in-between is what we navigate daily, surfing the realness of heart even if it risks an ‘end’. In reality, there is no end, but rather a moving on place. This is the crucible of my process as a man to be as vulnerable and real as I can and to feel and love the shadows that arise from such a difficult place for a part of me. This is the Real Deal. It is the Big Time. We both signed up for one of the most catalytic experiences in life. True conscious Sacred Union. I am excited and scared as hell at the same time. Who we will be and become are unknown and yet ready to be born. I couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone other than Kalayna.

~

Old ideas and conditioning that say that romance is really supposed to offer a ground of having someone to come home to who will love you unconditionally are still very much alive in our culture and embedded in our hearts and souls too from many different lifetimes of feeling abandoned especially by romantic love. The new sense of Sacred Union though, feels so different… it feels as if it wants to come from the transaction ground between two lovers who are in a mutual healing and maturation space, meaning that this cling to each other for reasons of quelling wounding for a while wants to move into something new, some new ground of relating that is based much more on health rather than dis-ease within. This is the sense of Sacred Union that we commit to with each other now… and we cannot know how deep this will go or how long it will last. Yet, to treasure what we have right now in this moment, even in this moment of writing this piece together, feels important and desired.

Much love to YOU and with YOU as you continue to explore your own journey of these Sacred Union grounds within… and possibly with an Other too, either in this moment or another moment to come. ❤

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

     ***
Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women age 30 and under, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.