Inner Child Connection Guided Meditation – DAY 16: 33 DAYS DEEPEN W/JELELLE AWEN (VIDEO)

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Activation Of Your Ascension Chakra Vortexes Guided Meditation W/Raphael and Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

Our Unity Meditation call on Wednesday was our largest one yet with 40+ souls signed up and 26 joining in on the energy exchange in the moment. It was palpable to me, this coming together in intention and connection to tap into the Equinox frequencies and New Earth…even with those souls who choose not to share that day or could only join us for a little while. I feel it amplified the energies that were available through Raphael Awen and I during the guided meditation. People shared a sense of high energy, being energized…..or, they fell into a peaceful sleep that lasted the whole time! I always trust these things as what can be let in at whatever levels of consciousness is….and through the filter/lens of the Protector self.

The results and experience of this unity meditation call inspired us to offer them about every ten days or coordinating to any major cosmic events, portal openings, Equinoxes/Solstices, etc. We will try to have different days/times to catch those in Australia, etc. and also serve those in Europe. We have scheduled two more for April….one on Wednesday, April 4th at 4:00pm CDT (4/4/4) and another on Saturday, April 14th at 11:11am CDT. These will remain free to join in, yet we always welcome donations too as we save up to make our relocation to the Glastonbury, England area this year. Here is more information about these events and you can register for both through eventbrite.

Above is the recording of the guided meditation that Raphael and I led during the Unity Meditation Call. We have put music to it….a piece that I’ve been listening to pretty much constantly the last few days! Here is the music if you want to just take it in: https://youtu.be/B0tsUQaqsWc

And here is the recording of the teachings and the meditation (without music) that we did during the Unity Meditation Call: https://youtu.be/d8XsXAtse0Y

Hope you’ll join us for one of the Unity Meditation Calls coming up to experience some New Earth Now goodies!

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Jelelle offers a 90 minute one on one bridging session with her over zoom for $55 USD min. donation…more information here. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

 

YOU Are The Event: New Earth Teachings And Activation Guided Meditation (video)

By Jelelle Awen

YOU are the event you’ve been waiting for! In this audio recording of our wonderful live group call from yesterday, we teach and share about the ‘event’ and invite you to feel how you are New Earth Now and the ‘event’ is your ongoing embracement and choice of love, embodiment of your sacred humanity, and what may be going on for parts of you related to peak events such as this.

In this video, I talk about the guidance/transmission I received about the ‘event’ as connected to the ongoing process, plus my deepening connection with Gaia frequencies, tuning into an ascending home frequency as an experience of New Earth Now. Here is the writing that I mention in the video:https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/you-are-the-event-youve-be…/

Then, SoulFullHeart co-creator and teacher Raphael shares about his recent profound and beautiful movement of his Gatekeeper aspect ascending to New Earth/5D frequencies as tied to the overall ascension process. You can read more about gatekeepers here:http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/gatekeepers

SoulFullHeart Facilitators Gabriel and Kalayna then both share about the current ascension energies, integration of these energies to activate their highest timeline service of love, and their perspectives on the ‘event.’

At 41 minutes, Raphael and I then lead a guided meditation to connect you with Divine Feminine and Masculine frequencies through Archangel Metatron and Mother Gaia. You receive activations from the current New Earth energies. You connect with Gaia Codes through the sunset, ocean waves, river, and gaze into a still water pool to ‘see’ your highest timeline. YUMMY frequencies!

The touching personal sharings that followed from the group participants have been edited out for privacy reasons.

Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about future group calls that you can join live , our SoulFullHeart Ascension Programs, writings, community, and more!

To listen to previously recorded SoulFullHeart Group Calls:
http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls

Also, info coming SOON about a FREE March Equinox Activation Unity Meditation Call that we are going to do on March 21st. We’d love for you to join us for THAT!

New Earth NOW!

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, awakening, and emotional body healing. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about our NEW SoulFullHeart process programs, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings athttps://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Higher Heart and Supermoon Activation Guided Meditation – Day 31: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 31 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I guide you in a meditation to bring in the frequencies of the Blood Blue Supermoon Lunar Eclipse of January 31, 2018 – the first one in 150 years. I guide you through in the moment integration of these codes into your chakras and especially your higher heart. The higher heart chakra is an important one connected to Unity Consciousness and ascension to fifth dimensional consciousness.

I speak light language that feels to be from my Lemurian Metasoul aspect named Rae-Na. I linger in the higher heart to guide you in feeling your higher heart; how open it is or closed; what its pains are; what is aches/desires are. The higher heart activation leads to unification with all aspects of yourself connecting in love, compassion, curiosity, ambassadorship.

I also offer about the shifting from primarily processing energy through your third chakra (personal will) and to processing from your Higher Heart (service of love self). Archangel Metatron comes in to represent the Divine Masculine (the sun). Goddess Sophia and Mother Gaia come in to represent the Divine Feminine (the moon and the earth.)

Thank you for joining me on this thirty-first day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Here is a playlist of all the videos in this series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7Pj3hPLsv0&list=PLNmrHdaQSAvIkhNtLWKs-osheX1SoBFpI

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

This is a link to the music in the background from Lokos TV: https://youtu.be/9cmuTetzDqs

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Activating Your Ascension Chakras: Day 21: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 21 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk about the codes/information/visions/messages/upgrades that are available through ascension energies of love and photonic light. An important aspect of opening up to these codes is to activate your ascension chakras. I offer a model here which I read about from spiritual teacher Diana Cooper and why it is important to connect with them.

I then lead you in a guided meditation to connect with Divine Feminine energies in Sophia and Divine Masculine energies through Archangel Metatron. You then connect with all of your ascension chakras, one at a time, starting with the Stellar Gateway or ‘personal sun chakra’ and moving all the way down to the earth chakra, two feel below your physical feet. You then run energy up and down in a channel flow which helps you connect to the cosmic energies while remaining grounded to Gaia.

Thank you for joining me on this twenty first day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch…

Here are other guided meditations by me, including another one activating the ascension chakras and connecting with your Higher Self: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvL3_HIusq0GwJO4ziwlmioz

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Connecting With Archangels, Metasoul, And Divine Love – Day 18: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day 18 of this 33 Day Metamorphosis series, I talk about Archangels and how to feel and relate with them, with help from Archangel Metatron of course. I encourage a heart and intuitive guidance, feeling for a sense of resonance or not, led by you and what you experience with them, the Divine, and with any path or process that you are presented with. Metatron especially seems to want to collaborate with us, to share what he has to teach, and yet also offers an invitation for us to join in together.

I feel this invitation from the Divine as well, yet this can be hard for parts of us to let in due to unhealed unworthiness. What heals that unworthiness is feeling how the Divine loves you, not just you loving the Divine in a devotional way, yet rather letting in in a transactional way to experience infinite love. This is about having ‘with’ relationships to everything rather than ‘against’ or ‘to’ or ‘from’….love with yourself, your parts, others, and with the Divine.

I also talk about the Metasoul, our individuated soul source or what you could call your ‘higher self’ soul source, which I illustrate using the sacred geometric symbol of the Flower Of Life. In the SoulFullHeart process, we connect with Metasoul sisters and brothers directly, which are fragments or projections from the same soul source as yours. This is different than how past lives are usually related to, because these aspects are not past and yet are rather overlaying onto your timeline and ‘bleeding through.’ You get to know and connect with the Metasoul aspect in order to get into a gift exchange with more objectivity possible through this. And there seems to be exponential and quantum healing possible through Metasoul processing! There is more to read here about the Metasoul and parts process: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/parts

Here is a playlist of my guided meditations:https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

Thank you for joining me on this eighteenth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphosis energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/watch…

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

~

 

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Seeing Yourself As The Divine Does – Day 8: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day Eight of my 33 Days Metamorphosis series, I share one of my most popular writings as offered from Metatron and the Divine:

I wish you could SEE yourself as I do. That you could SEE your light that wants to glow, show, come through every living cell. A star in human form, walking around star shine BEAMING, and star dust stuff in your every molecule of DNA.

I wish you could FEEL yourself as I can. That you could feel your precious human heart that is the JEWEL of your species, that which makes you a beacon in all the Universes. Every tear containing the codes to unlock compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, and empathy. So many levels and layers to each feeling!

I wish you could BE yourself as I perceive you to BE. That you could be authentic without hiding, conforming, shrinking, or denying to anyone or anything. Your self consciousness or self judgement held by parts of you could be released and healed and your TRUE self FREE to BE in all moments.

I wish you could REMEMBER yourself as I remember you. That you could remember you are a reflection of Divine Source, that you ARE Infinite Love in human form. Your reclaiming of your birthright around this embodiment providing waves of trust and support as you undergo your journey of awakening and remembering.

I wish you could SERVE yourself as I serve you. That you could serve love TO yourself and all the parts of you that need your compassion, care, and re-parenting. That you could serve love to all the soul aspects from your Metasoul that are hurting, in trauma, suffering, all alone, existing in many timelines. ~

(You can read the rest here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/i-wish-you-could-see-yours…/)

I talk about how this message is an invitation to your 5D Self to show up and see yourself as these higher dimensional BEings and the Divine does. This message is an invitation for you to share and serve love TO you and parts of you AND from that overflow, then, WITH others.

Parts of you start changing how they see themselves because of the mirror you show them, which is in more alignment with how the Divine sees you. I talk about the Inner Punisher part of you that may flatten desires, dreams, and filters your ability to see and feel your own bigness. This part is created due to our 3D culture that judges, contends, criticizes, and compares. Often the inner judging/punishing is a defense and protection that is going on inside of you and these energies are internalized to ‘put you down first’ before someone else can.

So much projection can be put onto God, the Divine, Angels, etc. that comes from a punishing energy inside that is projected onto the outside, saying that you need to be saved, redeemed, etc in order to be worthy of connection and access to these BEings. The message I’ve received and share here is about how big you really ARE, not broken, not needing fixing, and that the Divine wants to celebrate you remembering this. This message doesn’t have a punisher in it, doesn’t make parts of you feel shame; it is something that is based in love.

I also talk about transactabilty and relationality with the Divine and Guides and how much they want to ‘land’ and have their message go out. The gifts go both ways without anyone ‘losing, without a cost or with someone as the victim or ‘something bad’ happening. In 5D relationships, no one loses anymore and everyone (and every BEing) gains love!

Thank you for joining me on this eighth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphois energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/playlist

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog athttps://soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

 

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 

My new book Bliss Mess: The Wonders And Challenges Of Ascension and the book I mention in this video Keep Waking Up! is available for purchase at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books.

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Moving From Caterpillar To Cocoon To Butterfly – Day 7: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

I didn’t know this would be my topic today, but I had a lot of fun going full into a metaphor for the awakening process with the analogy of the caterpillar becoming a butterfly! In today’s video, Day Seven of my 33 Days Metamorphosis series, I talk about Metamorphosis – the process of transformation during Ascension. I compare the caterpillar to the 3D self, with its destiny just spring loaded inside to become a Butterfly, as it is in our DNA to become what we are meant to be as sacred humanity.

Your 3D Self caterpillar goes into the cocoon to bake in soul juices and soul frequencies. This creates the 4D Self…this is often experienced as a Lone Wolf Phase, cozy cave, and going into the void…..it can be a consciousness of frustration, wanting more than you currently have. 4D is not just a peaceful cocoon; it is also a mess and thrash, death and rebirth.

Cocoon phases can look and feel very different for everyone. Some are experienced within sacred union and community, as I have signed up and designed for myself. Or, it could be very important for you to be alone and in more isolation as you pull away from 3D relationships. 3D relationships are about comfort, safety, familiarity, and playing roles with each other. Staying in ‘locked in’ reality, not a lot of ‘play’ or to room to arise into anything new. Your Protector aspect may actually be ready for something new in relationship, while your Inner Teenager could be holding on.

I offer in the video an invitation for you to look at your awakening and all seven areas of life (emotional, spiritual, mental, social, physical, financial, and environmental) related to if you are being more of a caterpillar (3D self), cocoon (4D self), or the butterfly (5D self). We offer a similar assessment for you connected to the 3D/4D/5D self here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/3d4d5dselvesquestions

Moving out of the cocoon phase and more into your Butterfly self happens not through force but through love in the form of soul family support, your Higher Self/aspects, the Divine, getting to know parts of you yourself, and you too!

This video today reminds me of a writing that I shared last month about becoming your Butterfly self!

“You are outgrowing that previously necessary cocoon. That safety place to bake, to ache, to create. That place removed, sometimes isolated, sometimes feeling dark void space. No longer able to be in a lesser 3D ground where others may be more comfortable meeting you there, even as you are growing taller than their imaginations can imagine yet.
You have been surrendering to the process of BEing the transforming caterpillar until now. Tucked into the birthing space, sometimes gestating, sometimes thrashing, sometimes searching for a deeper and wider understanding. Sometimes missing your precious forms, shapes, and ways that were in the known. You are becoming more comfortable in the unknown and in the space where Infinite Possibilities pose no obvious limits.
You are BEing created as you are creating the life and timeline that you most want and desire. The timeline shimmers like a mirage in the distance, yet it comes ever closer with every choice of love. With every choice to love even fear, even darkness, even denser, even differences. The timeline of your highest purpose to serve love comes closer with every shift of heart from comparison to inspiration; from judging to compassion; from taking to sharing; from polarization to unification.
You are BEing created as your Butterfly Self….to eventually emerge, to burst out of any kind of safety or limits, to always be growing. You are BEing the metamorphosis into your arising Sacred Human in fleshy form. You are ready to be born. You are ready to spread your wings. Now, you are ready to FLY!”

Thank you for joining me on this seventh day of 33….as we move into Metamorphois energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time!

Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

~

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at Soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 

My new book Bliss Mess: The Wonders And Challenges Of Ascension and the book I mention in this video Keep Waking Up! is available for purchase at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books.

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Metatron/Sophia & Your Protector Guided Meditation – Day 6: 33 Days Metamorphosis W/Jelelle Awen (Video)

By Jelelle Awen

In today’s video, Day Six of my 33 Days Metamorphosis series, I talk more about the process of working with, connecting with, and recognizing different aspects of self or parts or subpersonalities that we offer in SoulFullHeart. The benefits and gifts that I have received from engaging in this process myself with SO many wonderful, amazing, and BEloved energies/aspects/parts of myself over the last 13 years has been just incredible. I have changed SO much. My life has changed SO much. This is the way that has allowed me to navigate the changes and opportunities offered by the Ascension process. I also offer that session space with me or one of our facilitators is the BEST way to differentiate and deepen this process, more information about sessions here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

I’ve been sharing in my other videos about the primary 3D Self part, which we feel is the Protector aspect of us. They are a masculine feeling energy, warrior-like, guarded, vigilant, and loyal, in general.

Today, I guide you in a meditation at 11 minutes to meet this part of yourself. We get the help and support of Archangel Metatron and Goddess Sophia. Their high frequencies of Divine wisdom, Divine Masculine and Feminine, Love, and help with the Ascension process opens up your heart space and supports your 5D Self. I guide you to connect with, visualize, feel, talk with your Protector in this meditation. Whatever you experience is PERFECT and meant just for YOU!

Thank you for joining me on this fifth day of 33….as we move into Metamorphois energies together…..one beloved part of us at a time! Go here to view the playlist listing all of the videos:https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

~

Check out our other video series about the seven areas of life covered in SoulFullHeart with Gabriel Heartman and Kalayna Colibri: https://www.youtube.com/playlist…

This is the group call and guided meditation about the Inner Protector that I mention and there are others on our SoulFullHeart Experience Youtube Channel:https://youtu.be/yP0OmxcSScc

More information about our group call on January 13th is here: http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/events

You are invited to share comments on your experiences connected to this series and questions too on facebook, the blog at Soulfullheartblog.com, and on the SFH Experience Youtube channel for which I will respond and offer reflections/guidance.

Donations are so appreciated and received with gratitude as an energy exchange in the offering of this series for free through paypal: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/donations or the SoulFullHeart Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart 

My new book Bliss Mess: The Wonders And Challenges Of Ascension is available for purchase at soulfullheartwayoflife.com/books.

~

Jelelle Awen is Co-creator/Facilitator/Teacher of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. She is a Soul Scribe and author of three books about Ascension, Divine Feminine and Masculine, emotional body integration through parts work, quantum healing through Metasoul Aspect connection, sacred union, light body transformation, and much more!

Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions and a free intro session, group calls, videos, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Day 5 ~ Journal To The Demiurge

Journal To The Demiurge w Raphael Awen

By Raphael Awen

(This is Day 5 of an ongoing series, to begin at day 1, go here: https://goo.gl/CgrWXZ)

Raphael: Good Morning All. I am feeling the rising excitement of this journey again. It felt so good to time-travel to the early pieces of my life story, feeling how my allegiance to the Demiurge formed and took hold, and feeling all of you feel me, in that.

It also felt good to take yesterday off being Christmas to breathe, to feel and to let in love. Last days journal took over 5 hours just to write, and feel as we went, and to post. I’m feeling an expanded sense of the epicness, if I could call it that, of where this could go, and where it wants to go. I also want very much to feel all there is to feel as we go, and to have fun doing it. If there’s one thing I feel now about hanging around in the past, I feel we should at least rearrange the furniture while we’re spending time there. And the furniture I’d rearrange would be the furnishing of my own heart with more space to feel myself and all my parts courageously doing life, being with life, seeking love. I get to do some more of that today.

There’s a way that even going through hell can be rewarding if we’re willing to feel all there is to feel, feel our why’s, our wants and especially our frustrations. They are all huge signposts. I’ve decided that if it ain’t fun, in this sense of being rewarding, I want nothing to do with it. In my book, it’s now a big Demiurge delusion that life is supposed to be hard, or boring, or aimless. The other thing I’m into is adventure, always have been really, and this journey is looking like about as big a piece as any.

Metatron: Good Morning Raphael. Good morning All, in the fullest sense of the Allness. Rhodes, Merlin, Jim, yes, you too Jim, we’re going to need help from the other side in due time, and Good Morning to this growing posse of hearts, following this, reading this, feeling this. You are the incubation of the epic something that Raphael is speaking to as you let this story weave into the feeling tones of your own story. Let it engender within you the waves of desire and the awakening of each and everyone of your astounding uniqueness and value. This is a seed, and like any seed, it has an infinite number of seeds within it. We’re not about the finite number of seeds contained in an apple. We’re about the in-finite number of apples contained in a seed.

Raphael: I love how you can raise the frequency about 67 notches in 30 seconds or less, Metatron. Wow.

Metatron: You have us on a good frequency as well, please keep going. I just had some juice to let flow through.

Raphael: I so know I wouldn’t have the go for this journey were it not for your energy and guidance, and it’s feeling sooo good again today, thank you.

Before, I go back to my story, Metatron, can you tell me about what the Demiurge is up to with this intention? Do you know if he knows what we’re attempting?

Metatron: Funny you should ask that, I got confirmation just today that he is up to speed on every word. Consider yourself and ourselves engaged to be engaged. And, it feels like he could, and we could use some time to get acquainted further, from a distance, I mean, so take all the time you need to process it all as we go. Your story telling feels important. We have all of time itself to get this right, and it’s urgently what the entire universe is waiting for, both are true at the same time.

Raphael: Okay, no pressure or anything? My…, you have a way with words.

Metatron: In the beginning was the word…

Raphael: And the word was with God and the word was God…

Metatron: And dangit if the Demiurge didn’t see an opportunity to fill in the blank while we waited to come up to speed with this truth and with our own godhood, Raphael.

Raphael: And I’ll bet he isn’t having the best time of it about now? His threats of hell have only tied him to being a jail keeper – not much fun at the best of times, right? I can’t imagine him having any fun, if it ever was fun being him.

Metatron: It’s complicated though, Raphael. On one hand, we created him from our own subconscious, and we commissioned and authorized him to be the monster we made him, and on the other hand, he doesn’t know anything different and is afraid to let go. He is inextricably linked with us till we undo our own creation.

Raphael: Could we say ‘In the ‘re’-beginning was the word’?

Metatron: We’re being invited to feel that with this Journal, with every word, every logos, that we utter; to feel it as being divine reason re-beginning a new world order internally that seeds into the collective…

Raphael: Feeling that pauses my story for a bit…

Metatron: Feeling that actually helps tell your story, Raphael. Go on and we’ll figure where it intertwines as we go…

Raphael: Okay, as I said, I’m getting a big gift from telling this story, and I can feel parts of me buckle in. They were all there, but we never got the space to feel it like we are now, on these levels.

Where was I?

Merlin: You was just getting settled with Mar-yam in the new chandelier swinging church.

Raphael: Thank you Merlin, good feeling your magical presence here. Get this, yesterday, Gabriel gave us a Christmas card depiction of you soaring through the Cosmos, Metatron as a combination of a cosmic cowboy and a skinny Santa Claus, And even Andy riding bareback too, all heading for audience with the Demiurge. I’ll share it in this post today. It’s totally rad, as they say in California. It captures the energy so awesomely.

So, yes, I was on a fairly new track. 21 years old, married, and so hungry to serve God, to make a difference for God, and as I said, a little less consciously, also hungry to escape boredom while I was at it.

After our first year of marriage, and working at pay-the-bills kinds of jobs, Mar-yam confronted me after work one fall Friday as a long weekend was approaching, with the crazy idea of visiting friends 2 provinces away to check into joining in with a mission project they were involved with. We actually left, 6 hours later, after a phone call, and me getting the incredulous look off my face. We knew we were in danger of settling for the norm if we kept this pattern running. We decided it was for us, came home, squared away, gave away, sold off, and loaded up and were back there in 6 weeks.

We shared this uncanny ability to jump ship when the guidance came, but she was usually the one to help me break the spell of whatever the current pattern was, given a part of me’s attachment to familiarity.

Over the years, our desire to get into the cherished ‘full time ministry’ never quite materialized. After a year away in the neighboring province, we returned home where I began finding jobs as a self employed painter with a whole bunch of my innate desires and passions funneling into building that while serving God, or, in order to serve God, as we framed it.

We self funded our way to regular short term mission trips, a few early ones to Mexico with a small, but exciting mission in Tijuana headed by other friends we were close to; One to Hong Kong with the founders of our church, and several to different places and projects in the Philippines that continued over our two decades together. We were Bible School grads, fancied ourselves teachers, and in the groups our church was a part of overseas, the locals were more than happy to let us take the pulpit, with our white skin and all.

We dreamt of our first child, and she ended up coming along for the ride in utero for our first trip overseas. Family; extended family; missionary travel; what was now referred to as a ‘business’ complete with employees; and even building our own home, were all a part of the picture by the time our second daughter came along 6 years in.

As these realities matured and as the desires ebbed and flowed through our lives, something was brewing in my soul though that was very undeniable, but equally being efforted to keep concealed and suppressed at the same time by parts of me. It was hard to put my finger on. During Bible School, a guest prophetic minister had prophesied publicly over me personally during a laying-on-of-hands service one day something to the effect of ‘don’t fight against the establishment’. Though I didn’t have a file for his words that day, they would come back to haunt me in due time.

I was looked up to by our church circle, as well as in each of our families. We both had leadership and budding teaching positions in the church, leading home groups, participating in services. I loved my daughters as much as life itself. Mar-yam and I only had eyes for each other, and settled deeply into being married for life.

In our 10th year together, I watched with a lot of discomfort as the inner core leadership circle of our church went through choosing sides in a personality conflict battle that was enough to blow up our little haven, this side of heaven. Having a conflict of that nature or of that magnitude wasn’t what got underneath my skin, but rather the active suppression of any ability of the men in the leadership circle to face the issue. It was all a default pattern of saving face and a pretense to hold things together for the next Sunday morning, under the guise of ‘preserving God’s house’. I was pretty convinced God wasn’t in as bad of shape as they made him out to be. This proved to be a deeply etched unwavering pattern that came up repeatedly to simply ignore a given reality in the name of not disturbing the sheep. The more I witnessed them, the more I felt at a deep loss combined with a frustration.

One day at early morning men’s prayer circle, we were joining hands praying loudly in tongues (‘motor-mouthing’ as a part of me would later come to call it), calling God into the scenes of our self created chaos, and I felt so pretzeled about asserting that maybe we should be facing the relational issues between us instead of, or at least, along with all of this passionate prayer. When we broke that day, I called Charlie, a fellow elder aside, and told him gently what I felt. He let me finish, paused for effect, looked me straight in the eye and said, quoting Jesus no less, ‘Are you for us or against us?’ Then he turned and walked away.

The moment of my truth finally came for me when I spoke to the men at our weekly Tuesday night elders meeting. I gathered my courage, opened my mouth and said to the 4 others present, ‘Guys, we’re all in a ditch, but I’m one step ahead of you. I’m willing to admit that and you’re not’. They looked at me kind of funny before the pastor did one of his usual lighten up the moment kind of comments.

My resignation letter followed a few days letter. I never did get my status of ‘Elder In Training’ upgraded to ‘Elder’ as the Pastor, a man near my young age, could sense in me the lacking loyalty, that it seemed that not even I was as in touch with.

The growing disparity between the ‘power of God’ that we all adhered to and championed compared with the growing powerlessness we practiced in our relationships with one another was leading me to feel deeper into the relational disparity inside of my own heart. Part of me tried hard to cover it over with new bigger and better projects or clients in my business. Money seemed to keep growing as a result, which often led Mar-yam and I to consider another mission trip.

Around that same time, just prior to this fallout, we decided to take our young family to the Philippines for a little longer trip of up to 6 months to join some close friends on an exciting mission that our church was recently all into. We were being asked to verify and solidify the relationship with the local pastor there and his congregation in hopes of becoming more involved, with more people and more money. The pastor there was reputed to be the ‘former second in command of the communist party’ in the Philippines and was now a genuine, born-again powerhouse for God. The fanfare of it all didn’t thrill me as much as the excuse to see if we could somehow get deeper into what our hearts really found exciting, as well as escape the growing relational problems in our home church. Maybe a brand new infusion of purpose and focus would sort out both me and the church.

It was amazing to watch the needed money come in through the business in time to match the intention, as usual, with a short notice. It was also a good experience to create some space around my tendency for a one track focus in my work life. Within 2 months of planning, we had our airfares for four and money together, an employee to keep the business alive, and 2 close friends to drive us the 3 hours to the Seattle airport.

Something very unusual happened in the airport that day just prior to boarding, and as I’m liking the vibe of storytelling, and you all listening so sweetly, I think I’ll just plow on into that story if that’s okay? This is a lot, how’s it all landing in the moment, Merlin?

Merlin: You got me spellbound, Raphael. What a planet you lived on! I say, rock on.

Raphael: Are these church and God frequencies a bit dense to take in?

Merlin: They would be if they weren’t coming from you, Raphael, but with your heart that’s found a way through it all, I’m liking feeling what it really felt and looked like to be inside,… even to be not consciously wanting or looking for a way out…. Wow.

Raphael: Okay, good, I’ll go with that then, Merlin. Thank you. Serving the Demiurge really is a captivating experience, pun intended or not, take your pick, where we chose it, because on so many levels, we felt we were in the coolest deal on the planet and the only one that had any real meaning for that matter. If 90 some percent of the whole world was going to hell without a personal relationship with Jesus as their savior, then what could compare to addressing that need? I had no clue then about the ocean of unfelt emotional need, and unworth I was still very much carrying around, as I felt God had taken care of that for me when coming out of my teens in exchange for giving my life over to him. Truth is, more money, another mission trip, more status in the church, none of it was able to completely cover over the hemorrhage of what my heart was bleeding into my space.

So, back to the airport in Seattle that day. We’ve said goodbye to our friends and gotten checked in and are waiting the last hour or so at the gate and already, it’s been a long day, with a 16 hour flight still to come including a pit stop in Tokyo, en route to Manila. The boarding gate was filled with a mixture of Filipino and Asian families waiting to board the sold out flight.

Our daughters aged 3 and 5 took to playing a bit with the Filipino children in front of us which felt cute to witness as I again acclimated to my fondness for the Filipino people. It had been 6 years since our first trip there.

A Filipino man was seated next to me in the crowded space, and when the boarding call was made, and as we rustled from our waiting slumber, I acknowledged him for the first time as our children and his had already made a connection.

I asked him where he was heading to in the Philippines, after landing in the capital. He explained that he was just there getting his mother and his children onto the flight. He asked me the same question in return and I told him the name of the province we were headed to, to do some missions work, having recently memorized it, ‘Ilocos Sur’, another 9 hours by bus to the north in this country of 81 provinces, over 7,200 islands, and a population well over double the size of my Canada.

He smiled and said, ‘oh, that’s the province my mom is from, but now she lives in the capital’. I was warming up to the familiar Filipino sounding English that he spoke that I actually missed, and was soon to get a whole bunch more of. 

Naturally, his next question was, ‘What city or town are you going to?’ I was glad again, that I had remembered a bit from my discussions with friends, as we had never before been in the North of the country before, and told him ‘Santa Maria’. His smile grew larger as he said,‘Santa Maria!, that is my mom’s hometown.’ We both took a minute feeling the incredulity of all this mixed in with keeping an ear out for the sequenced boarding calls, an eye on the children, with our boarding passes and passports in hands.

He then said, ‘who are you going to see there?’ Again, I recalled the name as well as the correct pronunciation of the Pastor of the tiny independent church we were going to be working with there, having never met him, but we had spoke to him on the phone a week or so prior. I was sure this was going to end the list of coincidences now stacking up. I told him the name, ‘Marben Magmay’, the first name being easy to remember as it was the Filipino equivalent to my first name at the time of Marvin. His jaw dropped again, and he said with yet another big friendly Filipino smile, ‘I know Marben, I need to get a message to Marben’s brother actually, will you be the one to take it to Marben for me?’

My head was sure spinning about this time as I’m looking at my wife taking this all in as the man found pen and paper and wrote out a short note in the northern dialect, and handed it to me. I recall being a bit too stunned to ask what the message was about and of course, I couldn’t read the local dialect. About then, we said our goodbyes as he needed to get his elderly mom boarded. I learned we had another 10 minutes or so before our row was going to board, so I got up to walk a few paces to try and digest all this.

I took a few minutes to digest what felt like an energy rush through me. There was a lot of prep, money and energy to get this trip to happen, and so far, there hadn’t been anything overtly that could be seen as a ‘big miracle confirmation’ that God, or the Holy Spirit was ‘supernaturally’ leading this journey, other than what we called the ‘still small voice’ inside along with the extra money manifesting naturally with some focus and intention. This coincidence just then was more the kinds of ‘miracles’ that were the coveted stock-in-trade of our ‘full gospel, spirit-filled, word of faith’ type churches we were a part of. We all longed to have personal testimonies like these to share (or brag about) in church. All I was able to make of it all as I stretched my legs prior to boarding, was that God was tipping his hand of favor and blessing, saying a warm and personal ‘hello’, as I couldn’t see any direct significance to the message itself, now sitting in my front shirt pocket that I had agreed to be the postman for. It looked like something as simple and mundane as little more than ‘call me’ along with a phone number as I recall it. How cooler still would it have been if it was really tied to something world changing? Nonetheless, it went in as a deep personal validation, from God, no less.

This so gets to the heart of what the part of me, who was me at the time, wanted from God, a personal validation, the ‘well done, my good and faithful Servant’ kind of heartfelt validation. I had gone from knowing I would end up in hell if I died at 17 to knowing I was now in good with God, and I wanted to let the world know. I was feeling pretty high, as I couldn’t see how else God could be more outspoken. ‘God’ was sending us on this trip.

Mar-yam and I digested the conversation a couple more times as the flight got underway, beginning our way to our first stop in Tokyo, before continuing onto Manila, letting it color our hearts as a very unique personal blessing from God. I loved feeling all this from 35,000 feet.

The story doesn’t end there though, as far as airport coincidences go. Something almost as magical occurred all over again on the next leg of the trip.

But I’m feeling to let some water under the bridge and take this up again next day. Everything in its own time.

Metatron: Wow, Raphael. I’m so feeling the ache for the acknowledgement of God you spoke to, going from the fear of hell to the bliss of heaven, Wow.

Raphael: Oh, yes, there was nothing greater in my books.

Before I jumped ship from the family church to this one, the real reason I did was because their God wasn’t a boring traditional rule maker, but an exciting one that interacted supernaturally in people’s lives, and gave out this kind of personal validation. I ached to feel God approve of me, or I should say, a part of me ached for God’s approval. There was nothing else that mattered. If I could pursue that, and qualify for that, along with a happy family and children at the same time, that was thee deal.

Metatron: ‘Qualify for…..?’

Raphael: Afraid so. We were all so firmly entrenched in a ‘love in return for obedience’ picture, that it would be yet a few more years before I would begin to get under the edges of that, but eventually, more dramas and events later, just that began to awaken in me.

Metatron: I’m gonna pause to take in here and let whomever would like to respond to share.

Raphael: before we pause for today…

Jim: Wow, I’ve got something to feel in all this, but I need to feel some more around it all and maybe share next day.

Raphael: Thanks Jim, or Dad, as Marvin knew you. I’d like to feel what’s brewing for you.

Andy: I like the 35,000 feet part! That’s where the Demiurge doesn’t have any of his sad stuff happening and that’s where I began to learn to fly, and where I still do. Wayne and I have been taking daily spins in our Merkabah all over the place from Golden Earth and back!

Raphael: Yea, Andy, my beautiful Starbeing Self, who once was Marvin, who once was my inner child, now gone galactic, riding the rays with Wayne, who led my life for 8 years more recently, on this other side of knowing the Demiurge.

Did you see you in Gabriel’s artwork riding right behind Metatron, on Merlin?

Andy: It’s like thee best! Thank you Gabriel. If you never hear from me again, it’s only because I got lost in all the dimensions.

Raphael: I don’t like that idea…

Andy: Okay, I’ll try to remember how to get back from all the places I have on my list to see and travel to, but I can’t promise, you may have to come and find me…

Raphael: Okay, that’s a deal. I want to see all them places too!

So, All, Let’s take a pause here again, but not before I again say thank you to the Gathering Posse Of Hearts. If this story is resonating in your heart, then that resonance and your willingness to feel it is creating a quantum something that accesses this realm and makes for a grander result for all of us. The handful of us in this direct story can do something pretty wild for sure, but with you, riding with us and in our hearts together, we can do something so out of this world, that it will take generations for this new arising story to be told, and tolled.
Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about Weekly Sessions, Live Streams, Videos, and Community.

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