Tag: healing

I Am Thee I Am

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

iam

By Raphael Awen

Michael Guss sweetly asked the question below and I felt to feel into it and respond. Like all really good QUESTions, they move us on our quest!

Michael asked: “Something I never encountered yet explained – although referred to frequently – is a definition/explanation of the meaning of “I AM” and “I AM presence” etc. I just never saw it explained anywhere. I have an intuitive idea of the meaning and I’d love to get a bit more externally. Would you mind to give me a link or point me toward a source or even see it as an opportunity to educate/share through your own words/work? Many thanks.”

The first thing that comes to me is that there is only one ‘I am’. You are it and it is you.

While it’s true that we could say, that we ‘share’ in consciousness, it feels also accurate to say that all consciousness in its totality exists in us. We are a fractal reality, where the all is contained in each and every part. This is because we are not actually separate, but have just been afforded the growth illusion ground of having an adequately convincing experience of being separate.

I keep coming back to the meaning of the word ‘in-divi-dual’ which means something like ‘a two-ness that can’t be divided’ which is a mathematical paradox because 2 can be divided into one and one. This hints at the essence of our being which is pure essence AND pure experience at the same time. We get to have the experience of being separate, while not actually being separate. This feels like the great experiment that consciousness (which is love) wanted and needed to play with and for which we volunteered.

I am one and inseparable with you and yet I have boundaries with you. Both are true. We are in a two-ness that can’t be divided reality. I am unconditional love with all and yet, I am also conditional love with others in transaction ground with healthy boundaries where I can advocate for what I want and need and say ‘no’ to what I don’t want.

I get to be in the magic of duality and non-duality at the same time.

When Moses was confronted by a burning bush to go tell Pharaoh to release God’s people from captivity, he asked God whom he should claim had sent him and the voice answered “Tell him the ‘I Am’ hath sent thee”. This is the only authorization there is for all of consciousness AND experience, for duality and non-duality, our reason for BEing, our reason for bondage and liberty, for sorrow and joy, for wound and healing, the experiment of the ‘I am’ out seeking a way to know itself. We are the sent ones of the I am.

All is contained in love, and all is the I am, and nothing can ever be, or ever was, …separate.

Okay, let me pause there and allow space for others insights! What a cool subject, and one that we could keep intuiting on and on and on.

Thank you Michael for your question and I await yours and others input and insights…

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Return To Desire

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

desire

By Raphael Awen

The only place any real growth can occur is in the gap between what you have and what you desire to have.

If you don’t desire anything more than what you have, in whatever area of your life, you are at present satiated.

As proverbs says: ‘a full soul loathes a honeycomb’.

Returning to growth will require the courage to re-own your appetite, especially if you’ve worked so hard to get it suppressed to where you did.

Returning to your quest will call upon your deepest QUESTions, and dusting off the clutter and clamour of the answers that once soothed, but now only block the very oxygen your heart and soul is aching for.

Entire spiritual practices, belief systems, social circles and ways of doing life will most likely need to be renegotiated with and very often completely let go of in the process of returning to desire.

Most often, when we set out to kill desire, we subconsciously set up huge infrastructure in our lives to support that suppression. We co-sign mutual contracts with others who are at this same phase as us that we are now going to have to renege on.

Desire cannot be killed. It is pure life energy itself, that can morph and change, but never cease to exist. Even the phase of suppressing desire is part of desire’s dance of helping you come to new terms with it.

You may have lost touch with desire, but desire has not lost touch with you.

Try writing it a letter. Begin with something like ‘Dear Desire, Where have you gone in my life? What have parts of me tried to do to you? What is it you are really wanting? How could we find each other again? Love, Me’ Then wait for a response and write that out. Allow for a penpal back and forth as need be.

Desire itself will rekindle in you in a powerful way if you are ready to trust the process.

Raphael Awen
Soulfullheartwayoflife.Com

If you’d like some serious help returning to and rekindling desire and are ready to admit the answers you have have been killing your growth, I invite you to check out the SoulFullHeart healing and community path. We have a beautiful doorway in through session space that is magical when you are ready for it, and that as you walk through it, you can confirm if this is your next going on place. 

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Leaving The Hell You Know For The Heaven You Don’t

Published on by Raphael Awen2 Comments

 

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By Raphael Awen

Opting for the Heaven you don’t know over the Hell you do know will call upon everything in you.

Deep in our essence, we know love in the profoundest sense, yet we struggle to feel it and know it in an everyday sense. We are love. We are heaven. But we took a forgetful journey to the far away land of love’s lack to grow into more of love’s ever expanding infinity.

This is where you find yourself now, far away from love, yet BEing this love, and feeling the parts of yourself and others that are not yet reconciled to this love we all are.

You are love, yet you experience hell.

The craziness of this will constantly incline you to make many temporary and false heavens out of the hell you are actually in.

If you want to get to know more of the real heaven that you don’t yet know in your everyday experience, you are going to have to spend some of that bank account you are holding onto of the hell you do know.

The hell you know is the currency that will buy you what you really want, if you are willing to let it go.

This will require admitting that the hell you are in, is in fact a hell….that you are willing to leave it, and that you want help to find your way out. If that isn’t true for you yet, you simply aren’t done with your sacred chosen hell and what the time there is meant to bring you.

This will also require that you are willing to authorize a resource that you recognize as being part of your emerging heaven to assist you, guide you…that they represent your higher self, your heaven, in physical form.

This will require feeling the painful gap between where you are now and where you long to be, and all that this gap is meant to alchemize in you.

If you are at this place, you have entered the place of true adventure, where the first step is actually as grand as the last step, as they are all steps on the same sacred journey.

If you feel like you are not at this place, see if this feels like you, or instead a part of you, and then see if you are ready to show up for this part of you and the hell they find themselves in.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Quest For Remembrance

Published on by Raphael Awen1 Comment

 

remember

By Raphael Awen

We’ve all heard about the internalized messages we received in various ways about ‘the self being bad.’

Much worse, we came to know and feel this as an emotional living hell reality that almost completely governed our relationship with our entire lives.

But what even is the self? Is there a nutshell definition that could somehow fit and not diminish the vastness of what we’ve come to call the ‘self’?

And what is it about this self that got messaged about being so ‘bad’? What was it specifically about the self that even the word self-ish was a bad word from its inception?

(In case you haven’t noticed, I like asking QUESTions, more than I like answers. Answers often block our QUESTions. The answers we receive can never exceed the quality of the QUESTions we are willing to ask. I felt the above QUESTions rumble through me this morning, and now, I await for a response, not so much for ‘thee’ answer, but for an answer that can move and carry us to our next places of living into our truth.)

I tune into beloved guide Metatron, as an extension of my higher self, that is ‘other’ and ‘me’ at the same time. I await his response…

(And it’s a funny feeling, because a part of me says ‘I have no clue what he’s going to say, but I guess if he doesn’t have anything alive or deep to share, we can always not post this,’ as another part of me wants to apologize to Metatron for the lingering doubt…)

Metatron says:

“As infinite love essence, you did not fear entering a deficit of this awareness. You knew that entering a lack of awareness could not take away from your essence as infinite love. You also knew that the only way to get outside of the infinite love that you are would be through a for-getting, a ‘giving up of having’ in your awareness of any feelings of your essence as being this infinite love. You even needed the very real feelings of demonizing the self to provide the feeling of escaping the prison of your essence. You very much created a sub-reality within a greater reality, as you knew that losing awareness could not affect your actual possession.

“This is likened to a man who only knows living in great wealth his whole life and comes to wondering how the rest of the world lives and feels. He knows he has lost his appreciation for what he has and in that has lost his reverence for life itself. Smothered in goodness, he must explore badness to find himself.

“Your higher self though has remained in fluent connection with the essence that you are, as you detoured into ‘what you are not’ and is now wanting to return to deep awareness of who and what you really are. You knew you needed the contrasting experience of forgetting and re-MEMBERing, and in the experience of re-entering your essence a second time, in order to let in reverence.

“This is who and what you are. Deep reverberating reverence.

“This, what you once feared and diminished, NOW, invites you into and onto this next stage of your quest.

“You forgot in order to remember. Your forgetting is complete.

“This is the time of your remembrance, of being re-membered into the fullest membership of being the infinite love you are and always were, and are ever becoming”

Okay, wow, Thank you Metatron. Lots to digest…

 

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

From Making To Letting-In

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

let

By Raphael Awen

‘Making love’, ‘making time’, and ‘making money’ are all phrases that were wordsmithed out of the scarcity and unworthiness phase of our consciousness evolution.

Love, we are coming to see, is not in need of making, but we can yield to its fullness if and when and as we are ready to…sexually, emotionally, communally along with whatever other multitudinous ways we can desire it.

Time needs no making. Time is so super abundant that we fear its infinity of opportunity, and so we created the victim’s perception of ‘I just don’t have the time’. We each have been given ‘all have all the time in the world’ to do with it as we please. We are busying ourselves (in several ways) coming to terms with that.

Money is love, a currency, a flow; all of which are more resisted than they are served when we set out to rigidly ‘make money’ in the ways we have.

I’d like to propose that we reinvent these all these expressions from ‘make’ to ‘let-in’.

“I’m still glowing from letting-in love early this morning”.

“Yes, I will let-in the time to meet with you”.

“We’ll just have to let-in the money for a new one, won’t we?”

Sounds and feels better doesn’t it?….for letting-in this super abundant and worth phase of our consciousness evolution that we are now being invited into.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

We Are Living Art

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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Image by Garbriel Heartman

Yesterday I began painting for the first time in a couple of months.  Since I was a young boy, visual art in the form of drawing, coloring, and painting has always been a source of pleasure and expression for me.  It has also been a source of suffering by way of inner criticism and perfectionism.  So much desire to create beauty for the eyes and heart to take in and be moved by.  I feel a soul passion when I start to create and a plethora of reaction that offer me doorways into my wounding.  So it feels like a romance in a way with a ton of grist and possibility.

When I am in the “zone”, time disappears.  I am in flow and it feels like my essence is coming out to play.  After being in that space, I could feel a reaction to being “outside” of it.  Like that feeling went away and I couldn’t get it back.  I lost the mojo and the only way to get it back was to start painting again.  I can feel that like a drug reaction.  I began to feel how a part of me was relating to the experience and not the “whole” me.  The Gabriel that relates to the act of painting as a part of a larger “painting” that is being created by my Higher Self in all moments of each “day”.

We are Creators.  We are Artists of exquisite talent and power…regardless of what we consider to be artistic.  Right now I am creating.  My words are manifesting a vibration of energy that is being sent out into the cosmic canvass.  They may land in someone or not. They my have impact or disinterest.  But either way I am creating something in this moment.  I am feeling myself as I type and that is altering my experience of who I am.  I am feeling a different relationship to my world in the moment.  Something will reflect back to me my energy and I will get to feel that and be changed again.

There are times when a brush stroke will land away from an intended space and the order of what a part of me was expecting just became disorder.  It just got messy and something comes up for me to feel.  I can see it as a mistake or as something to learn from and see it is meant to stay a part of the creation.  Maybe I am offered a new vision, and new pathway to create something totally different and unexpected.  Something I just couldn’t see or feel beforehand.  My consciousness just shifted and I grew from it.

In this awareness, I feel I have a choice.  A choice to be in my reaction and let it take me where I need to go even if it is messy, or I can hold and feel what part of me is energizing this emotion and see what it is want to message to me.  Neither which is wrong.  Both are creating and informing.  There are no mistakes in art as there are none in growth.

So let that brush go! Let it follow your intuitive heart.  Make lines and splashes.  Realize that you are the one that is in your full power of choice.  If your tapestry feels like it is in disarray, there is a part of you that is creating that to get your attention.  It is responding to the chaos within.  If you are wanting more, see that more and feel your way through the perceptions that can’t let in that more.  To be great creators means we take on great responsibility for what we create.  It is time for us to paint a new picture of what we feel is possible and turn it into probable and let it become likely until it is definitely.

Create a bigger and grander picture for yourself that goes beyond what parts of you have been conditioned to believe and expect.  This is done through being with and feeling the parts of you that have been capped due to many personal experiences and collective memes.  We are powerful individually, but exponentially so collectively.  Let us consciously create a new world together full of magic and color!

If you are curious to be a part of a creative healing community that is committed to letting in all that we can infinitely be,  please join us on our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST.  You can go to http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls for more information.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

 

Homeward Bound

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

home

By Raphael Awen

None of us gets to be home until all of us are home.

This is true for us sub-personally as in each and every part of us finding their way home, and this is also true for us on super-personal level as in each and every one of us collectively finding our way home.

The healing occurs on the micro and the macro and they are so magically interconnected. This is why when you heal personally, this is your great gift to the collective, AND, as you serve the collective, you serve yourself.

It kind of eliminates our use of the word ‘selfish’ as you are a self-interested self and really can’t not be that. True and healthy self interest is true love for others.

Pretty cool isn’t it?

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. You can make a one time donation to SoulFullHeart at https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

This Creative, Love-Flowing Time Of Day!

Published on by Kasha RosaLeave a comment

by Kalayna Colibri

FLOW-Colors-Fibonacci

Early morning is my favourite ‘time’ of day… this time of creative flow even though I’m still sleepy and full of ‘work’ with my online job. My life is incredible, it really is. There were so many years when I couldn’t imagine that I would be living this way, yet I so wanted to. I couldn’t possibly have envisioned exactly how this would go or what this life lived in service of love would look and feel like. There was always a fantasy of living amongst others who shared my level of consciousness and challenged me to keep expanding it. Retreats and spiritual conferences were great but not enough – I needed and wanted to make spirituality my life.

This time of day (early morning) is also when my beloveds in my community of SoulFullHeart and I start dialoguing over Google Hangouts. We live in the same building, more or less, yet this is our way of staying in touch and also being in our own sacred spaces. The love exchange is there underneath all correspondence, even if reactions are being shared and processed or guidance is being held and given as to where we need to go next inside of ourselves and inside of our relationships to one another. It’s something I could try and describe to you, yet it’s just a unique experience that extends well beyond ideas of ‘unconditional’ love. We love each other deeply but are so willing to let go, let be, let arise, without unfair expectations, at least after this much time and process and this many phases together. We are a close-knit group but we have done a lot of personal work to have this level of intimacy. My place in this community has had its ups and downs and times of turning sideways too. Every single minute of tension and exhilaration has been so worth it though, to be able to transact love in this way, and to FEEL so much love for myself AND for them! There is nothing I can compare this to. It is the closest thing to ‘Golden Earth’ I have ever experienced in THIS life, where love is the container, the contender, the artist and the canvas too.

I’m being moved to share this experience in this moment, because of love overflow I feel from nourishing time with Jelelle yesterday, feeling the love and care from Raphael as he helps me clean, paint and fix-up my new suite I’m moving into soon (same building, just a bit bigger for my dog and I), and the ongoing love I feel between Gabriel and I, my best soul friend who I have been through so much with. I am brimming over with gratitude and love for them and for ME too… so much so that tears are coming. I have been intensely immersed in a new chapter for myself, training and doing practicums for a new online job that will pay better and have better hours than my current one. And it’s all happening in the name and flow of love and serving love too, as this means more money to share with my community and more space in my day to serve facilitants and also through my creativity, wherever it wants to take me.

It has taken a lot of process to really see, feel and let in what I have in SoulFullHeart – the work itself, my parts, the people, and most of all the LOVE. Gratitude and appreciation of been a long time coming, and this genuine, heartfelt flow of it that I can now feel is one that truly brings tears and the warmest feeling in my heart that I have ever experienced. It is a true feeling of being held by the Divine, by my own heart and self-love and also by the love I am IN with OTHERS. There is nothing that compares to commUNITY. At least nothing I’ve experienced or can speak from!

There is nothing I want more than to share this with more people. To have more of you jump in with us, though of course this is challenging… the hardest part is the awakenings within, the stirrings of arising process, realizations that you have much to heal as a human AND a soul and that it ALL changes you and your life in big ways, though the changes may feel subtle at first in some cases. Yet, it is so worth it and that worth and reward can only be experienced personally. ❤

We are holding another group call over Zoom (online) tomorrow at 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) if you’d like to join us. You’ll be able to immerse with us for 2 full hours and even be given the space to share if you wish. Silence is okay too. It’s a lot to take in. We are a lot to take in. This ‘new’ frequency of LOVE is a lot to take in! Here is the link to the event if you are interested in learning  more: //www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The Universe Awaits Your Return

Published on by Gabriel HeartmanLeave a comment

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I was sitting down and feeling the need to reconnect to myself as so much has been moving and shaking that last few weeks.  There are times when a part of me can get a bit caught up in all the shiftings that I can loose track of ME sometimes.  So I gave myself a moment to come back to me and listen to what came.

Just sit….there is nothing to “do” but “be”.  Be in your body. Be the moment.  Let the thoughts of before and after flow in and out.  Let them fall to the ground like leaves in Autumn’s presence.  Observe them.  Let the tree of your essence bare itself to you.  Be naked.  Be unadorned.  Be in the peace of this Now.  Nothing to solve. Nothing to accomplish. Nothing to complete.  It has all been solved, accomplished, completed.  It is only your over-mentalized 3D Self that is needing the clarification, classification, and valuation. It is not wrong. Just conditioned to everything it has learned in this density in order to survive and hide.

This has been a gift to you, believe it or not.  It has offered you the ground of choice and voice.  Of creation and destruction.  It has been a battleground until you have been able to learn to let it be your playground.  Much is moving and shifting in this expanded Now moment.  You are changing on levels you can’t quite comprehend right now.  It is okay.  Your only job, if you want to call it that, is to feel.  Feeling is the evidence that you are BEing, living, growing.  What you produce or consume, other than love, is all ultimately and illusion.  However, to a part of you, it is a very real one at that.

It is okay to stop.  To take in the moment.  What is real in both joy and pain?  In weakness and in strength?  You are a magical being that is moving mountains even as you type.  As you eat.  As you sleep.  You do not have to understand it all or be conscious of it all for it is happening.  You are happening.  To get closer to it you only need to feel and receive. Let in the guidance and love that surrounds you in any given moment for you are the lungs and the breath. The heart and the blood.  The fingers and the keys.

It is all made of Love and you get to make of it what you Will, whether it be peace or overwhelm.  It all informs and leads you to this place of your infinite power and desire.  The real world, your world, is so much more than you have been conditioned to imagine and accept.  Feel the sacred in the profane.  The consciousness of your surroundings. This ebb and flow of your emotional symphony.  This moment gives birth to the notes of your heartsong.  Let it be real in all its textures and tones.  This is an unending and ever-beginning discovery if you just be open to all that life is wanting to offer you in each moment.

Listen, breath, BE still.  The universe awaits your return and readiness to receive.

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

This Extraordinary Life

Published on by Gabriel Heartman1 Comment

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I live a life that is an ever-evolving mystery that is in always in a state of ebb and flow from one heartline to the next.  It feels like an organic, breathing, and growing entity that is in a state of creative flux and expansion.  I traverse dimensions from one hour to the next, one minute teaching children in China the English language and the next I am entering deep emotional and spiritual domains to assist someone through the valley of their inner woundings to feel a sense of home inside themselves.  From there I am helping Kalayna prepare for her new job with my same company, preparing our weekly museletter which has the energy of nuclear fusion in the form of a love bomb, and then typing this reflection to share before heading out to the beach to take in sacred sun codes and merge with the vast serenity of Gaia’s healing waters.  

While at times this has felt like a series of upshifts and downshifts that have left a part of me a bit discombobulated, I am beginning to transition into this new world of flow and surrender. Of needs and authenticity. Riding the waves of intuition and creativity, sometimes getting rolled over in the surf, but always learning something and growing from the experience.  Life and me are beginning to merge more and more into the present and letting go of what may or may not happen.  What is right or wrong.  What I should or shouldn’t do.  It is taking each step with an open heart and divine trust that what comes my way is what was meant for my highest good and growth. To deny or resist them is denying the love that wants to set me into greater heights of experience and awareness.  

There are difficult moments and I am still learning to move with them with as much vulnerability and integrity as possible. Without them I am plateaued and that is not why I have drawn this way of life to inhabit with as much honor and leadership as possible.  It is a life that is lived from one moment to the next, with still having sights on a grander picture of abundance and experience.  There is no intention less than creating a community of SoulFullHearts that expand the globe and the galaxy.  This is no joke.  We left Canada and the US to let go of what was conditioned.  One day we will leave Earth too, to explore new horizons that parts of us can only let in as imagination.  

But there is work to do. Good, heartful, soul expanding work. It is is remarkable life and it is extraordinary.  It has its growth moments but they are all meant to lead us the next and the next, in Love, to Love, for Love, and with Love.  

 
If you are curious about what the SoulFullHeart Way of Life may offer you in your journey toward MORE, you can join us in our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST, hosted by Jelelle and Raphael Awen and contributed to by Kalayna Colibri and myself. https://www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.