What Does It Mean to Love ‘Authentically’?

by Kalayna Colibri

The conditioning is deep around what we’ve been taught real love and care is and looks like. It’s challenging to feel it in different ways, to take a deep look at how we’ve related to love and how we’ve been convinced we’re supposed to embody it.

So often what we think of as loving or caring can have more of a negative impact on others than a positive one. False apologies, empty promises, tugging and grabbing at others… these frequencies can be obvious or subtle. And in any case, we aren’t genuinely caring about our impact on others, only what parts of us want and are afraid they won’t get or look like on the outside. I so know this one from my own process too, and learning to see and feel even the subtle ways in which this happens is illuminating and invites you to shift these patterns for good.

I think so often we (or parts of us) are actually terrified to deeply feel what it would be like to be someone else and genuinely feel our impact on them, whether or not we feel we’ve been ‘loving’ toward them.

This is tricky… and hard to feel too. It can be hard to look inward and challenge how we have been holding love and what it means to love another, whether in official ‘service of love’ or in everyday relationships. It’s amazing what it illuminates within though… which is so often an untouched inner reality of how we ourselves, and parts of us, have felt incredibly unworthy of real love, abandoned somehow, and in a void space that has never been filled by genuine self-love and the journey of unfolding that within.

So what does it look and feel like to actually care and love another person?

To me, it feels like giving space for another’s growth without tugging on them to join in on yours. It feels like inviting someone to share with you what they need and want, but not with a commitment from you to make it happen for them. It feels like the overflow of good inner-parenting, of relating to yourself and getting to know your own quirks and shadowy aspects and energies within you as well as your gifts and growth and flowing this energy to another to support their own inner-parenting to grow and blossom too. It feels like being willing to let go even when your heart really doesn’t want to.

It’s a lot to feel into these pieces and truth be told, I’m not sure any of us can truly master this skill of loving another in the purest way… we and parts of us all have understandable investments in relationships of all kinds and hopes that they will last too. We all have desires and dreams and don’t really ever want to feel lonely (though really landing in the loneliness has so many gifts too)… we all have what we want to experience from others and in our lives in general. Yet love asks us to trust… to invest in the process yet divest of the outcome. To feel what we want most and understand that it won’t always come to us in ways we can control.

Above all, love wants us to remember that it is never against us or anybody else, though it can feel that way at times. It only ever wants us to experience more of it within so that we can share it with others. This flow of love is really all the ‘service of love’ is anyways, though it can be dressed up in many ways and be given many labels and is not always easy to truly embody for ourselves, let alone others.

Much love to you as you continue to experience your own journey into more and more REAL love, and the path of learning to embody love in the most authentic way possible. ❤

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart co-founder, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

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You Are A BEacon Of LOVE: Sharing Your Self-Love Overflow In Service Of Love

Image by Jason Dietrick

by Kalayna Colibri

It can be challenging for parts of you to remember that they need to share love with others in a mutually nourishing bond of openness and vulnerability and sometimes even contention, as much as they need love with YOU as the authentic you, ever-arising into more and more presence within yourself.

We are here to relate to ourselves deeply, to cultivate self-love. We are also here to share the overflow of that love with others – NOT to remain in stuckness or under-nourishing agreements with others, however… While there is likely some layer of love being exchanged there, there is so much more that could potentially open out… this is the ground that can make relationships of any kind scary to be in, yet also is the ground of mutual growth and ultimately a deepening of LOVE within and on the outside TOO.

To not share what you are cultivating inside in self-care, love, worth, advocacy, is to not share your light, the beacon you’re meant to be for the world, with the world. Parts of you may be relating to this with understandable fear and reactions from past social drama-trauma. Yet, to remain in a place of not sharing is to cap your own soul bigness, your capacity to love others as much as yourself, and your potential to truly live into your healing gifts and your deepest soul calling to be in the service of LOVE.

The choice remains in each moment, to breathe with and feel parts of you and their reasons for not allowing your arising and ascending you to emerge from the cocoon. There is a constant invitation into more love, more healing, more self-held grace and space, and more overflow into the destiny you’re meant to lead and live too, with each decision made to BEacon outward what you have so grown and nourished inward! 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Filling Up And Serving From The Love-Well Within

by Kalayna Colibri

to love fully 2

To love fully, we must be self-filled, not self-less… this can a hard one to wrap our heads and hearts around, as parts of us tend to be very conditioned to the idea that in order love someone ‘the right way’, this often means sacrificing or over-compromising on many things, including but not limited to, our sense of spirituality, our emotional reality, our lifestyle, etc. It often means that parts of us have been OK with ‘shrinking to fit’ in order to maintain certain relationships, even if these relationships aren’t deeply resonant or nourishing, leaving us feeling drained, depressed, maybe even very ill.

Our 3D selves, often made up of many different parts of us, like our Inner Teenager, Inner Mother/Father (or Matriarch/Patriarch), Inner Punisher, and Inner Protector, seem to have a way of expressing ‘love’ that often compromises even their own deeply held beliefs and feelings. Love then becomes a game of disowning and dishonoring our authentic emotional reality for the sake of others as well as being very self-sacrificial and often martyrs, too. Over-giving becomes the norm and choosing YOU over anyone else becomes a ground for self-punishment and beratement instead of a feeling of needing to fill up the inner love-tank so that you only have MORE to give and receive, too. Chances are that if you are wired-up to live in this more outbound way, you often find yourself drained energetically, emotionally and even spiritually.

I hear many empaths staking the claim that everyone around them ‘drains’ them, painting a picture that their gift of being empathic is actually a burden, which it can certainly feel like to parts of us, especially while this dynamic of over-giving to others and under-giving to yourself is going on. The truth that I have felt and experienced, is that our need to go within is a strong one that shows itself in so many ways… and that the gift of being here to serve love means serving from an overflow of SELF love; a steady stream created within by the waters of self care and creating a sacred space for yourself, your parts, your Metasoul Aspects to land in.

Taking the space necessary in order to find this deep inner overflow is tricky while surrounded by others who do not value this space for themselves. The love we have and want to offer each other will always be there in some form, yet without space to feel and BE in our own hearts and healing processes, means that we are serving water from a dry or drying-out well that needs replenishment which must start from within. It is as important to be with ourselves as it is to be surrounded by others who offer nourishment on all levels of being and in all areas of our lives and that want to support us in taking care of us as well as being supportive towards them.

This felt like an important point to share today, especially as Gabriel Heartman and I have been digesting and sharing a lot about the social area of life in our vlog series, Practical Ascension. If you are curious to take in more about our experience of healing in this area of life and what we offer through the SoulFullHeart lens, you can find our videos on Youtube on the SoulFullHeart Experience channel and on this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNmrHdaQSAvInP1AB__TzXykZythfad8i

Filling up within can be one of the hardest things to imagine doing for different parts of us, depending on the configuration of our lives, yet it is so important, especially during these times of intense awakenings and upgrades happening on all levels and the increasing depth of our own Ascension processes! Nothing draws the relationships with others that we truly desire, more than being willing to say ‘no’ when necessary, to say ‘yes’ when it feels nourishing and alive, and to find a relationship with ourselves that is truly loving, unconditional and infinite.  ❤

 

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our Patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

The INvitation Of The Holiday Season

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Today is an unofficial beginning to the holiday season, at least in the US. I used to have such deep reactions from parts of me around this time. On one end there was an excitement of “time off” of work (makes it sound like a prison sentence), the joy of sleeping in (because time was such a precious commodity), and the interest in eating and drinking (which was a way to cope with the other parts of me that felt otherwise). Then of course was the stress, the irritations, and the authentic lack of joy from a part of me to the whole deal.

I could feel the inner child in me ready for connection with others even though the connections were not all that fun on many levels. There was this feeling of magic that was like a word at the tip of your tongue but just couldn’t seem to get out. It was just a bit out of reach though he could feel it. The holiday season highlights so much of our disconnection and desire for authentic communion.

It is a reflection of another part’s need to fit into a compartment that we are just outgrowing. It isn’t so much about abandoning the celebrations, but how can we reframe them to resonate with who we truly are in our hearts and souls. This can rub up against all the conditioning a part of us holds around the holidays, especially in regards to our social circle. It is our 3D self coming into proximity to our 5D nature that creates a 4D rumble. Nothing more triggering for this than this time of year.

Ultimately, the spirit of the holiday season resides inside of us. It is not relegated to a time bubble. This is a great time to take stock of what is truly authentic inside of you. In the beginning of my process I was invited to just notice myself during this time. What were my feelings of myself and others? Was I really where I wanted to be? Was I being the way I wanted to be? So many bubbling polarities came up to the surface. That is when I began to feel these “parts” inside me and how different they could feel.

Your “social self” may be out in full bloom starting today. Self-love and self-curiosity are two important energies to guide you through this most 3D time of year while feeling your deepest desires and sacred purpose. This is a very catalyzing time with all the ascension energies to boot! As you feel yourself during these times and start to feel the rumble inside to let go of what isn’t truly you anymore, please contact us. We have made our way through our own social crucibles and would love to serve your arising and rumbling sacred self.

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Kalayna Colibri and I will be talking about our experiences with SoulFullHeart and what it has meant to us both individually and as a couple in our Live stream event coming this Saturday at 11am CST. More info here:https://www.facebook.com/events/1508742299214244/

 

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

This Creative, Love-Flowing Time Of Day!

by Kalayna Colibri

FLOW-Colors-Fibonacci

Early morning is my favourite ‘time’ of day… this time of creative flow even though I’m still sleepy and full of ‘work’ with my online job. My life is incredible, it really is. There were so many years when I couldn’t imagine that I would be living this way, yet I so wanted to. I couldn’t possibly have envisioned exactly how this would go or what this life lived in service of love would look and feel like. There was always a fantasy of living amongst others who shared my level of consciousness and challenged me to keep expanding it. Retreats and spiritual conferences were great but not enough – I needed and wanted to make spirituality my life.

This time of day (early morning) is also when my beloveds in my community of SoulFullHeart and I start dialoguing over Google Hangouts. We live in the same building, more or less, yet this is our way of staying in touch and also being in our own sacred spaces. The love exchange is there underneath all correspondence, even if reactions are being shared and processed or guidance is being held and given as to where we need to go next inside of ourselves and inside of our relationships to one another. It’s something I could try and describe to you, yet it’s just a unique experience that extends well beyond ideas of ‘unconditional’ love. We love each other deeply but are so willing to let go, let be, let arise, without unfair expectations, at least after this much time and process and this many phases together. We are a close-knit group but we have done a lot of personal work to have this level of intimacy. My place in this community has had its ups and downs and times of turning sideways too. Every single minute of tension and exhilaration has been so worth it though, to be able to transact love in this way, and to FEEL so much love for myself AND for them! There is nothing I can compare this to. It is the closest thing to ‘Golden Earth’ I have ever experienced in THIS life, where love is the container, the contender, the artist and the canvas too.

I’m being moved to share this experience in this moment, because of love overflow I feel from nourishing time with Jelelle yesterday, feeling the love and care from Raphael as he helps me clean, paint and fix-up my new suite I’m moving into soon (same building, just a bit bigger for my dog and I), and the ongoing love I feel between Gabriel and I, my best soul friend who I have been through so much with. I am brimming over with gratitude and love for them and for ME too… so much so that tears are coming. I have been intensely immersed in a new chapter for myself, training and doing practicums for a new online job that will pay better and have better hours than my current one. And it’s all happening in the name and flow of love and serving love too, as this means more money to share with my community and more space in my day to serve facilitants and also through my creativity, wherever it wants to take me.

It has taken a lot of process to really see, feel and let in what I have in SoulFullHeart – the work itself, my parts, the people, and most of all the LOVE. Gratitude and appreciation of been a long time coming, and this genuine, heartfelt flow of it that I can now feel is one that truly brings tears and the warmest feeling in my heart that I have ever experienced. It is a true feeling of being held by the Divine, by my own heart and self-love and also by the love I am IN with OTHERS. There is nothing that compares to commUNITY. At least nothing I’ve experienced or can speak from!

There is nothing I want more than to share this with more people. To have more of you jump in with us, though of course this is challenging… the hardest part is the awakenings within, the stirrings of arising process, realizations that you have much to heal as a human AND a soul and that it ALL changes you and your life in big ways, though the changes may feel subtle at first in some cases. Yet, it is so worth it and that worth and reward can only be experienced personally. ❤

We are holding another group call over Zoom (online) tomorrow at 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) if you’d like to join us. You’ll be able to immerse with us for 2 full hours and even be given the space to share if you wish. Silence is okay too. It’s a lot to take in. We are a lot to take in. This ‘new’ frequency of LOVE is a lot to take in! Here is the link to the event if you are interested in learning  more: //www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295

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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Experiencing Authentic Social Connections

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By Christian Tydeman

Social connections.  We all desire to be a part of something bigger.  Without these connections we feel lost, alone, and scared.  We are naturally social creatures.  Our heart and souls require connectivity for purpose and support.  But the kind of connections we have and make can keep us small or challenge us to be big.  They can serve us or confine us.

Our first experience of this social web is our family.  They leave the biggest imprint on us and this guides us in our formation of future independent connections.  There are school connections, interest connections, work connections, and connections of connections.  Some of us have but a few, others have hundreds (or thousands if you feel a Facebook ‘friend’ is a connection).  

In all of these myriad of bonds, how many are authentic to you?  Why are they there?  Maybe they have a function.  Someone to talk sports with, someone to hear music with, someone to cry with, someone to laugh with.  Maybe you feel obligated because they are family, your “best” friend, or they have no one else to connect with.  How honest can you be with them?  How challenging can they be with you?

For most of my life, a part of me chose the safest connections.  The ones that were least resistive or challenging.  The ones that kept him safe and comfortable.  This part was, and to some degree still is, very much obligated to family connections even if they didn’t resonate with him any longer.  To truly live into my soul experience, I had to temporarily withdraw from these connections.  This was a difficult choice and one that this part of me regrets on some level.  

Magdalene offers me that our social web be created from the inside out.  We must feel ourselves in our loving authenticity and then create bonds that nurture and challenge its growth.  To stay in contact with someone that does not resonate with your higher purpose is not self-loving to you or compassionate to them as you are just enabling their fear of growth and change.

But sometimes we may need to back into these bonds.  Our parts may need to feel them again in relation to how we are now.  We may need to own something that we did to them.  They may own something they didn’t feel before.  New ground may surface or not.  Regardless, we get to feel ourselves again in a new way, in contrast to who we were.  We get to heal our heart and feel our soul journey with more clarity.

And to that, Magadalene says…Amen.  

Visit soulfullheart.com for more articles and information about the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.