Tag: consciousness

Healing Perfectionism With Divine Love

Published on by Raianna ShaiLeave a comment

By Raianna Shai

Perfectionism is expressed by many different parts of us, in varied ways and for so many reasons. I’m sure many of us can relate to the constant need to control the outcome or appearance of everything we do. The fear of doing something wrong or being judged for it is running in the background of our minds even in everyday, simple tasks. We often feel tension and anxiety when something unfolds in a way we did not expect or control. Maybe it comes up when you have reactions you don’t want to have, or there’s conflict you wanted to avoid, or you chose to do something that you realize others would judge.

Perfectionism is often used as a way to protect the most precious and vulnerable parts of us which has been so needed in certain phases of our lives. Overtime it becomes so ingrained in us from messaging by society, matrix coding from as far back as birth, personal desire to appear a certain way, and to avoid judgement and loss. But it gets to a certain point where it prevents those vulnerable parts from growing into their bigness and recognizing that they don’t need that protection to the same degree anymore.

Perfectionism for myself has been so strong my entire life. I strived to be a perfect student, perfect friend, perfect girlfriend, perfect daughter, perfect community member. And slowly but surely I’ve come to unwind this ingrained desire to avoid any and all judgement and conflict. Much of this has been rooted in the idea that I’m not good enough and that I’ll lose everything I love so much. The moment we separated from the Divine, we were given an underlying feeling of guttural and tragic loss of our home frequency of love and connection. So much unworthiness stems from that loss and everyday we try to prove we are good enough to the divine in some way, shape or form.

Freedom can be found in the moments when all parts of us are nourished and aligned: heart, body, mind, soul and spirit. When we allow ourselves to let in true divine love, we are then able to realize that we can truly do no wrong from the perspective of the Divine. This is really the only place we can find unconditional love and acceptance. When we let go of expectation, obligation and self consciousness – we find liberation.

Freedom for me was felt in the picture I’ve attached to this post. That week I felt the words from the Divine rumble through me when she said “You are my everything”. The energy and truth of these words started to unlock this strong hold parts of me had on the idea of not being good enough. We truly are everything to her – everyone of us and in every way. In the moment of this picture I stepped away from something that was bringing me tension and took in beautiful nature and sunset codes with my beloved Kasha and every part of me felt nourished and aligned.

Freedom is found when we take the time to remind every part of ourselves, even the ones that are hard to love, that they always have been and always will be good enough. Even when there’s room to grow, even when there are regrets, even when the future is unknown – they are good enough and more. And the more we see this bigness in ourselves, the more we can see and feel it in others. And from there, the love spreads like wildfire.

Love,
Raianna Shai

~~~~

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and website designer of the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheart.org for more information about space holding sessions and free 45-min intro calls, group calls, videos, community, etc.

From Warrior To Ambassador: The Illusion Of Good vs. Evil

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

As more and more of us become aware and convinced that the world is not as we thought it was, we’re collectively left in a vacuum of cognitive dissonance, confusion and chaos.

Personally, I’ve been convinced for many years of the horror realities of human trafficking and the depopulation agenda, and all the surrounding phenomena, but I’m finding a new layer of emotive dissonance arising inside of me in coming to terms with what’s at hand now, energized by the tsunami of collective awakening happening underway, along with the collective’s sorrow and the v. injuries and sudden deaths coming to light.

What might the scope of all this end up looking like? How long will the darkness seem to prevail?

If you also find yourself in this restlessness, whether in moments or in largely complete endless overwhelm, know that your being has a range of expressions and parts that span 3D, 4D and 5D realities. Parts of us have totally familiarized and adapted ourselves to everyday consensus reality of linearity, lack, etc that we find in 3D. But we also have parts of us that see beyond what once felt like 3D was all that there was into the realms of the chaos and transformations of 4D. Then we also have parts of us that remember the joy and harmony of union with the All, where both sorrow and joy weave in a deep aliveness expressing as the divine beings that we are in our true heart home of 5D. No need to get hung up on the definitions and labels of these dimensions or the numbering of them, but just a way to offer a sketch of a map that your heart and soul knows.

You already are and always were a multidimensional being, even as you are becoming more conscious of and in flow with this truth that always was.

There’s one piece I’d really like to share with you today in all this that I feel lays the groundwork for some real digestion of the craziness at hand. I invite you to come with me into an exploration for a few moments.

I’ll just spit it out and then take a longer look at it:

Love is the one and only source of all that is, including the darkest horrors we can imagine or witness.

We are not in a battle of good vs. evil where we must cheer on and support the good to overcome and destroy the evil.

The battle of good vs. evil is an all too real illusory reality of 3D, but one we must come to a higher vantage point to relate with if we want to navigate the horrors we are witnessing now unfolding.

Allow me to toss in a few more points here to land in your intuition where they will…

What we are at war with externally evidences an internal war happening inside of us. If the evildoers must be punished forever, then that dynamic is alive inside of us, between our Inner Punisher and other parts of us, albeit just off our radar.

What if the whole all too real reality of good vs. evil was part of the divine’s experiment and expression into duality from an original state of oneness? Very beautiful, yes, but without duality, it couldn’t be known, felt and appreciated…

What if the ratcheting up of the tension in this good vs. evil dimension is part of the divine plan for a full circle reconciliation of this experiment where the heightening of the duality creates and is necessary for our divine awakening into the love that all of us are and always were, including the ‘evildoers’?

Consciousness itself is sponsoring the entire show we are seeing unfold right now. Love is holding it all. Many souls chose on a soul level to be a part of the suffering in the 3D and 4D expression of their being as part of the contribution to this experiment that love undertook. Love knew that duality would entail suffering, but it knew that suffering would take us somewhere beyond where it was in oneness bliss. Love wanted to journey. Your and my suffering is part of the fuel of this journey.

Deep in our psyche is the awareness that sacrifice is necessary for movement into fullness. In the Christian faith, we have the teaching that ‘without the shedding of blood, there is no remission of sin’. Something has to die so that same something might come alive. In our limited 3D vision, we made that about a sin filled and separated-from-God humanity needing a personal savior from the results of a ‘fall’ into sin and God’s wrath. But what if all we actually ‘fell’ into was this chosen experiment of duality along with the attendant and necessary forgetfulness?

If that’s accurate, then those participating in the darkness are the divine’s agents as much as are the lightworkers; then the darkest deeds in your own this-life and soul history are also all part of this divine expression from oneness into duality.

And if that’s accurate, then the trajectory we are on is into remembrance, reconciliation, restoration of the All that was ‘lost’, and MORE.

This more is mysteriously unfolding in you and I, in this collective darkest night we’ve seen to date. Love is inviting us to hang around for the more, as an infinite unfolding of all that we can handle.

What can ease the intense discomfort of the moment is making for personal reconciliations within, with the parts of us who feel the deepest despair or shame, for harm caused, feeling how a divine amnesty and forgiveness extends over all of it.

Then from there, a natural and effortless expression of ‘as inside, so outside’ begins to extend from us to others. The darkest darkness is also wanting reconciliation and is spring loaded by the heightened tension and the tug of war of good vs. evil drama and trauma to return fully and suddenly to the love that it is sourced in.

Both the warrior within and without are now being invited, if and when they are ready, to lay down their weapons, reconcile the harm they’ve participated in, all the while believing they were fighting for the good, and then to accept the mantle of Ambassador, with a heart broken open and vulnerable to the great sadness, sorrow and loss that is still unfolding. All self righteousness extinguished under the infinite love and forgiveness and reconciliation with the divine experiment and journey we are all a part of. Sorrows felt, rather than medicated down or avoided. Tears wept.

Now your life, exactly as it is right now, takes on the most exquisite poignancy and meaning as a place from which to transact and make real this reconciliation within and then without. Every anxiety and depression in ‘circumstance’ a standing stone circle portal entry into this All That Is, that awaits your sovereign choice of ongoing continued awakening, at a rate and pace that allows for feeling and healing all that wants and needs to be felt and healed. Savoured, not savioured.

Jelelle’s book and audio book ‘Free To Be 5D’ are a great exploration and attunement to this more that wants to arise in you. You can find it here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/freetobe5dexcerpt

And there’s two upcoming group calls to be a part of if you’d like, Sunday, the 17th and Sunday, the 24th:

https://www.soulfullheart.org/events

If we can be of assistance here at SoulFullHeart, please dig into our free resources, connect with us in whatever ways you are guided to, and if it feels like a fit, ask for a free intro into what personal one on one sessions can look like for you. More info on that here: https://www.soulfullheart.org/sessions

May you arise daily into more and more of all that you are meant to be, even amidst the moments that feel like falling.

~ R ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Karmic Persecution and Obligation Coming Up For Healing

Published on by Jelelle Awen1 Comment

By Jelelle Awen

Karmic persecution and the flip side, karmic obligation, are coming up for healing right now! The experience of being persecuted is very familiar to those of who have spent many lifetimes awakening, being healers/teachers, leading new edges of consciousness forward and been ‘ahead of our time.’

We trip the Matrix programming, we create anomalies, we offer new codings. The response to this from the ‘mainstream Matrix’ can be fierce, unkind, painful, and even life threatening. Reconciling and healing this soul wounding can cause us to draw more of these persecution experiences this life. This usually manifests in relationship struggles and conflicts, particularly with birth family members, in romances, and in friendships where they are more anchored to 3D consciousness still.

Parts of us can feel quite hurt, rejected, abandoned by these repeated experiences of condemnation and judgement from those who claim to love us. I have felt how deep this wounding can go so many times in sessions and within myself too. The heart of our inner child is blocked by the Inner Protector in response to this, shielding them for future hurts (or so they hope.) The light of our soul bigness shining can be dimmed too, hidden ‘under a bushel’ for a time that feels safer.

Karmic obligation is another side of this dynamic where your soul aspects and parts have taken on responsibility for these family members, friends and mates even when you no longer resonate with each other and even when there is judgement and harm/abuse from them toward you. Instead of feeling the pain of this, parts of you feel responsible for them, you take care of them, you become the ‘holder’ of their pain at the cost of your own growth. Parts of you feel guilt if you experience joy and love because they cannot in the same way.

These karmic binds are important to feel and be with as there is a healing opportunity to complete them…now more than ever! To go deeper than the triggers and reactions to how people are treating you (or not treating you) and into the emotional body and soul field. To explore the dynamics going on within you from one part to another that mirrors this same persecution/victim dynamic (such as between the Inner Punisher and parts that feel shame.) To go into your soul field to discover the soul themes playing out there lifetime after lifetime with these same souls.

In these explorations lead by curiosity and an open heart, you discover forgiveness and compassion…for yourself, for your soul aspects, and for them. This is what allows for completion of these karmic binds as the polarity they create is no longer needing to be experienced for your growth. Only authentic, felt out and emotionally digested compassion allows for this completion…not affirmations or mental analysis or spiritual beliefs.

You (and parts of you) may be giving still much focus and energy to the reactive experience you have during these relationships….rather than turning inward to explore WHY these dynamics are happening. Going directly to the source of them within your soul field and emotional body is possible now, rather than just looping over and over. Gratitude for the gift these other souls have provided you in this experience arises as well from this ground.

Going into these deeper grounds is, yes, now more possible than ever. The veils are so thin, the walls around our hearts are weakening, and our defenses are getting so tired of holding up any more blocks. The ache to move back into Oneness again is getting stronger and stronger! Any frequencies within us of separation are being illuminated, brought up, and amplified….seeking wholeness by receiving and becoming LOVE.

Love,

Jelelle Awen

More information about a free intro over zoom with me for women to talk about 1:1 sessions to explore these karmic grounds for healing and completion at soulfullheart.org/sessions.

My Process Of Transitioning To Living On Less Food and More Prana/Light – Day 16

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

I left the house yesterday after a two week seclusion in a ‘temple womb space’ here that has brought me to new depths within me and with the Divine. Raphael and I went to visit Bey where she lives in the nearby town of Coja, a sweet town near a river with cafes, park, and stores to visit. I felt guided to emerge out of the cocoon space that I have been in during these initial weeks of not taking in physical food and juice/water/dry fasting in order to transition to/calibrate to living on more and more prana/energy and less physical food.

Unlike previous extended transitions/fasts, this one has been easier from an emotional digestion place. All of my parts and soul aspects seem to be accepting and surrendering to the journey, which has taken lots of negotiation over the years as our relationship to food can be such an emotional comfort, a habit, an ingrained program, defining social connection, and much more for parts of us.

The only emotional reaction that really came up was when I went into dry fasting or not drinking anything for 12 hours. Then, I felt resistance and fear come up plus the first time of feeling truly dizzy and weak. I connected this to another lifetime and a soul aspect who had died of thirst in the desert under sad circumstances (more to feel of her in the future.)

I felt Divine Mother guide me to drink again and also go back on drinking juice the next day as well. And I felt how much I am truly holding this with Her in love and goodness for myself and my body, not in ANY energy of forcing, pushing, or will powering my way through it. A deep gratitude-based connection opened out with my body then and I could clearly hear and feel it, what it wanted, and what it was truly ready for….which has been a moment by moment feeling it out process.

Being held in self love and Divine Mother’s love is what allows the energy to flow in to supplement the food. There really does need to be a supplement that is connected to through various channels such as deep breathing, yoga, meditation, prayer….otherwise it isn’t possible for the 3D conditioning mind/body and just isn’t the time yet either. Divine timing and soul timing is a big piece of this as well.

Yesterday, I was amazed to feel these waves of goodness, joy, and magic in being outside at the park and even inside of a fairly noisy cafe. I was curious about what the people around me were eating, not desiring it myself to eat. Yet I was able to merge with their consciousness AS they ate it and feel what they did. Sadly, most people are not in reverence and joy when they eat food yet rather in an automated mode of ‘having to’ or medicating this or that emotion that they don’t want to feel.

Yet, still, I throughly enjoyed what I got to partake in this way, including gazing in awe at the gelato ice cream offerings and the Portuguese pastries too! Not with desire to eat them myself, yet to just take in the marvel of them. This was amazing and I so see how being around other people eating will not be a problem yet rather a joy (as I have heard from other people living mostly on prana as well).

I also felt much softer, receptive, and overall more feminine in my social space as well, which is made easy being with Raphael and Bey, two beings who truly let me in and see me. It was more acceptable within me to be quiet, to be still, to be in receiving mode. I love the feminine that this is bringing out even more!

There have been low energy dip moments and even moments of some muscle cramps, indigestion, detox etc. But, overall, the experience has been joyful and a wonder….a sign of it being right timing for me, at least in this moment. I even went through my period cycle last week with no PMS and way less cramps and hormonal dips, which is big for me as that was worsening in the last year.

I am not sharing all this to ‘sell’ you on anything or even to promote fasting for a phase for you, yet to offer what my experience has been so far. Your Divine Self will take in what it is meant to about it for you, be inspired or not, feel resonant or not….and see where that takes you. There are so many phases to this transition and ALL of them are sacred.

There is no goal or ‘end game’ yet rather more opening out into the Now and your own Divine essence expressing through your body vessel that is getting brighter, cleaner, and lighter.

You are welcome to ask any questions you’d like in the comments, just please no ‘kicking’ at me out of fear or suspicion, yet leading with curiosity and openness is always welcome!

Love,

Jelelle Awen

I share more about this journey at: https://soulfullheartblog.com/category/ascension/light-body-body-consciousness/living-on-prana/

If you’d like to talk more with me about this for yourself or other diet/body topics and themes, I offer free intros and 1:1 sessions, more info at soulfullheart.org/sessions or PM me.

Energy Clearing Crystal Sound Bowl Transmission (Video) | Jelelle Awen

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

https://youtu.be/ODc9_Bdn2CM

Some spontaneous crystal sound bowl healing sounds for you! The bowls have been super helpful during my days of fasting (12 days now with only juice/water and now moving into some dry fasting) when I need to tune into higher frequencies for my chakras and light body! Also helpful, especially during those times of low energy dips, has been epsom/himalayan salt baths, pranayama/deep breathing, sun gazing/bathing, light yoga stretching, meditation and prayer with Divine Mother.

Overall, it has been a joyous process that feels Divinely held! I’ll share more in depth about my fasting/transitioning to living mostly on prana process for those who are curious and resonant coming up eventually. I wrote more about it here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/my-process-of…/

I have been in such a deep inward focused surrogacy with Divine Mother during this time, receiving stillness and yin recodings from her on all levels to support this shift! And galactic support, soul aspect support, and my beloved soul family support too!

It’s a supportive time too as we go through the Pleiadian/Star Seed Activation portal these next few days. You can feel them so HERE and ready to help us upgrade and connect to our soul purpose here during this last 3D timeline on the Earth plane!

You don’t need to be a Pleiadian star seed to feel this portal! Whatever ways you are meant to receive the galactic upgrades will come through. Here is a guided meditation with Raphael and I to connect to your Star Seed/Star Family https://youtu.be/LrKnyFKk1xM

Enjoy the bowls and wherever they take you!

Love,

Jelelle Awen

More info about 1:1 sessions, writings/book, online community at soulfullheart.org.

Energy Update: Lunar Eclipse Energies Offer Sacred Feminine Activations (Link To View Online)

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

Blood Supermoon total lunar eclipse energies coming in! As I’ve said before, these are my favorite type of eclipses for the sacred feminine activations they offer. Plus the opportunity for relief from the hijacked Moon Matrix transmission so we can take in Luna’s true planetary consciousness that once existed unfiltered in our skies in the Lemurian age.

There have been intense energies entering the eclipse window already and over the last 24 hours! I especially feel the clearings happening on my physical and energectic levels as I tune into bringing in more prana during this ongoing juice/now water only fast….with an experience of some discomfort in my body yesterday opening out into bliss in the same day!

Connection with our guides, Divine Self, galactics is always thin during an eclipse and they are def. here to support us. All our clairs are activating too and messages/visions/inspired thoughts/clarities/emotional breakthroughs can come through.

I find that watching the live transmission can be very activating, esp with meditative music. It is a LONG eclipse lasting over five hours, so any portion of it is good to catch with the full eclipse lasting almost 90 minutes! You can watch a livestream of the entire eclipse here: https://youtu.be/MII89TZ63NE

That same feed has a great listing on their web page of start, peak, and end times for the eclipse in all the different timezones, yet in general starts at 3:00am here in Portugal/London; 10pm EDT; 7:00pm PDT. You may be able to view it yourself as well in certain parts of the world if the skies are clear.

Also, I hope you can join Raphael and me at 5pm London time/12:00pm EDT/9:00am PDT for a livestream on FB at https://www.facebook.com/jelelleawen where we will feel into these eclipse energies and how you may be experiencing them on physical/emotional/soul/energy levels. We will offer a brief guided meditation as well to help with digestion and integration of them. You can watch us live or catch the recording.

Happy eclipse day! This is a good one to go inward, reflect, feel what you are wanting/desiring for your future and tap into your sacred feminine depths (for both women and men.)

How are you experiencing these eclipse energies so far?

love,

Jelelle Awen

More info about 1:1 sessions, online community SoulFullHeart Portal, books/writings, at soulfullheart.org.

My Process Of Transitioning To Living On Less Food and More Prana/Light – Day 5

Published on by Jelelle AwenLeave a comment

By Jelelle Awen

As I move into my fifth day of juice fasting/transitioning to living on more prana, the sound bowls are food right now, as is my daily soaks in the sun and Himalayan/epsom salt baths and vinyasa yoga flows. I also engaged in a deep pranayama breathing practice this morning that brought me into a deep bliss and relaxation space, theta brainwave place, for over two hours.

It’s amazing how your soul kicks in when you start letting go of what you’ve been previously been using as ‘fuel’. All of the ways of bringing more energy/light/love into your field and body come forward, out of more need and necessity than previously. Eventually it just becomes the new ‘rewired’ system as the old programmings fall away.

I feel that I’ve moved out of the detox phase where all the yuckies you’ve eaten start coming out of your pores, coating your tongue, making some aches in the back, etc. Other than a period of having a headache for awhile and a coated tongue (relieved by a tongue scraper), I haven’t had many detox symptoms this time. The first time I did a water fast three years ago, the detox was so intense that I had to stop after a few days. I’ve learned now how to negotiate this phase and what supports me through it.

EVERY phase and stage of this body detoxing/upgrading process is sacred and needed. There isn’t an ‘end goal’ or ‘failing’ or ‘succeeding’. It is a linear process yet rather a circular one that invites you into different initiations as you go.

This does feel like such a supportive time to moving into a phase of letting food go/fasting (for however long you feel to), with the continual solar flares and CMES coming in (even if they don’t interface with Gaia’s atmosphere.) Just laying out in the sun for even 10 minutes brings in a powerful supportive energy boost that feels like you’ve eaten a full meal!

I can feel the lunar eclipse in the grids as well and the relief from the Matrix moon hijack that it will offer. The sacred feminine pure frequencies can flow through during that 84 minute window. Join Raphael and I on Sunday at 5pm London time/12:00pm EST/9:00am for a livestream on FB where we will feel into these eclipse energies and how you may be experiencing them on physical/emotional/soul/energy levels. We will offer a brief guided meditation as well to help with digestion and integration of them. You can watch us live or catch the recording.

Galactic activations are strong right now too….as we move into crop circle transmission season and I can feel the codes I received when I visited two of them in the UK last year coming through. My Arcturian aspect Binkh is coming into my awareness again, offering inspirations and some channeled messages that feels like will start to be shared too.

I missed her even though she never left me….my consciousness went where it needed to go into lower 4D to do some mega karmic soul clearing of priestess lifetimes. I feel freed up, lighter, less reactive over all, and as if the lighthouse lens of my soul beacon has been cleaned up!

If you feel drawn to connect around any of these places I’m describing and receive a personal bridging around them, I’m available for 1:1 sessions or a free intro with women, more info at soulfullheart.org/sessions.

Much love to you on this ‘sacred’ day of Friday the 13th as the Divine Feminine arises anew in all of her forms,

Jelelle Awen

I describe more about my process of transitioning to living on more prana and less food here: https://soulfullheartblog.com/…/my-process-of…/

And I had some feline assistance today while I played my sound bowls! Ravyn our cat has become fascinated by them after initially running out of the room whenever we played them (pic above of her paw extended to touch the heart chakra bowl while I played it!) She is vibing into the frequency now as animals are SO tuned into energy, they are a good barometer around if energy is good or not.

The No Man’s Land Of Our Collective Grief

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

If we take a step outside of this most challenging polarity moving through us right now as a species, we see where there’s something none of us really comfortable feeling.

If the anti injection people are correct, then there’s a wave of destruction and fear that is already here and scaling up at a pace we can only guess at.

If the pro experimental injection people are correct, then our sovereignty and autonomy is best left in the hands of a governing body who are better equipped to lead our lives.

Either way, we are giving up something of such huge proportions. I don’t think there’s a single one of us yet who’s felt the deepening scale of this.

Raging at it, or turning over and accepting it feel like two polarized ways of starting to work through it, but there’s still a huge no man’s land that I haven’t seen anyone step into.

In that no man’s land is something to feel.

Trying to describe it almost does it a disservice, for it can only really be felt, not described. But it has something to do with mourning and grief on a scale we haven’t known in this life.

Life as you and I knew it is changing rapidly, daily and minute by minute. Something big is dying and not returning, regardless of which side of the issue(s) you find yourself on.

People on both sides of the polarity believe they have spared themselves from some personal suffering. ‘According to their beliefs’, as Yeshua would say, ‘so be it unto them’. Beliefs are such strong personal reality creators, but they only go so far.

There’s a shared reality that whether it’s recognized or not, is happening. That reality is the shared boat we are sailing in. The hole in your end of the boat IS actually an issue to me. There’s only one boat, even as we are afforded individual bubbles within that boat, but OUR boat is sinking.

We all chose to be a part of this transition, and to give up a quality of an old life to be a part of anchoring in a new life. Whether you are injection injured, (and my heart breaks for you if you are) or out promoting getting the next booster, we are going somewhere.

There’s somewhere we won’t be returning to.

That change calls into question every plan, every intention, every purpose, every sense of meaning. All of it is up for continual revision as we sort through what can and does feel crazy making and disorienting.

Nothing makes sense in the old way. In the interim, we’re all grasping for the new way that isn’t quite here yet.

I don’t know any other way to be with it, other than to feel this surrender to what is, open my heart to being further activated into this care for myself and our beautiful collective that would choose such transition through such confusion as a planetary group soul’s higher choice and service to the divine’s unfolding of itself through us.

WE chose this. WE created it. The polarity is of OUR creation. When you accept that, you get baptized into being a YOU in service of the WE.

You get to care. You get to feel. You get to mourn. You get to weep the tears others aren’t ready yet to weep. You even get to thrive in love as you take part in honoring the death all around.

You get to be in the real moment that is here now.

And in that moment we see that the deeper our polarities, the deeper our shared reality.

Raphael

We are offering a gathering place of community engagement around a shared new experience of life in community, vulnerability and transparency at https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/, in exchange for $22.22 USD per month. If you feel drawn, we would love to have you join us.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Spiritual Mastery As An Avoidance Of Vulnerability

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

The path of spiritual mastery or attainments has been basically useless to me for several years, other than to often trip me up in comparison or self judgment games.

The thing was, I used to be able to muster some impressive consistent self discipline and regimen, set goals and stick to them, and that way of being in life doesn’t let go easily, even as it collapses at the same time.

I don’t think I’m alone in this by a long shot. I think what I’m feeling personally is more of a reflection of what the masculine is coming to terms with now as consciousness itself shifts and changes.

Mastery served us well for a time to come to know our power. It moved us from an inferiority complex, but now threatens us with a superiority complex. Both however are non-relational and both are non-vulnerable, and both don’t actually have mastery over anything in the bigger picture of what we really want and need.

At nineteen, I went out jogging every single day for over a year, without missing a day, rain, snow or shine. How I felt didn’t matter, other than holding onto this feeling of I can do whatever I set my mind to. I thought at the time that I’d do this for the rest of my life, because with each passing day, my record of achievement was getting bigger, better as well as harder to lose.

That’s the thing with attainment and spiritual masteries. They are like rolling a stone up a hill that will one day succumb to gravity, and the higher up you roll the stone, the greater its velocity and path of destruction to your self perception and who knows what else when it gives way to nature, as it is sure to do one day.

Men particularly have been so addicted to doing the right thing and the good thing, the thing that once did have meaning, purpose and even connection, with love, life and nature, that they naturally fear letting go of. It matters less how noble the thing, just heaven forbid that you should be without some animating thing.

How could something so good lose its value over time?

If all this mastery and attainment grasping is becoming an old way, is there a new way that wants to come in its place? I have my ideas and answer to this, but do you have a sense of your arising truth around this?

Maybe mastery was just a placeholder holding us as men in a place of being mastered over, until we were ready to enter a whole new dimension of mystery, coming to know our power through the doorway of vulnerability and transparency?

Paul talked about the ‘schoolmaster of the law’ being over us until being introduced to Christ consciousness, which is more about being changed in core nature. Was he already hinting at this two thousand years ago?

It seems the old way of gaining mastery was really about gaining mastery over our vulnerability and never having to be transparent. We were holding a suppressive lordship over ourselves.

You may still be feeling like a millionaire holding some masteries, but I’ll bet life isn’t supporting you any longer to naturally sustain that. All the millionaires and billionaires of today are finding it harder and harder and super costly to effort sustaining those holdings.

These feelings are coming up for me today as I have an opportunity to have a session later today with a dynamic man and big soul who has a heartcry unfolding. I could feel some tension inside and went inwards to feel what it was about.

I connected with all of my inner masculine aspects of me from this life and other timelines that I feel living in me differentiated and unique, and asked their reactions to meeting with a man.

Here’s the pieces that came back to me in dialogue with them. (It feels good to get to the underlying push and pull and where and how it lives in parts of us and their needs. Now, we don’t try and fix the fade on one mastery with another mastery campaign somewhere else.)

“I don’t like men who speak their truth as thee truth without acknowledging their belief system that gave birth to those truths. They don’t feel safe or kind.” Marvin

“I don’t feel comfortable being around men who energize their spiritual mastery or attainments. It doesn’t feel real to me. If they are onto something, I feel stuck in a comparison game or left out. Mastery just hasn’t worked for me in decades. The mastery path as we’ve known it feels non relational and non vulnerable.” Wayne

“I’d like to serve men again. I feel trust that we know we won’t hurt or harm without care and kindness, but I also know that we and you and us are going to need to be awake, ready, in our stance, on our game, with our truth, not letting reactions get internalized. Men are looking for a mirror of truth.” Arthur

“You have a magic in you, Raphael, and that gets to come out and serve and be given when you simply be you, transparenting whatever you are feeling. I like serving men because then we get to dance in the magic and be around other mens magic too.” Charles

“What an opportunity to feel the heartbeat and heartcry of men, instead of dominating or controlling them. They aren’t / we aren’t that complex in some ways. We just want connection, meaning, and purpose” Lionel

Thanks for reading, especially as a man, and maybe as a woman, you can feel this as the masculine polarity inside of you and one that is or is wanting to transmute into these new directions?

I’m curious!

~ R ~

Our online portal is one gathering place for the new. You can find it here: https://soulfullheartportal.mn.co/

Big heartfelt acknowledgement and thank YOU to Gabriel Amara for leading this charge with me while we surrender to divine timing for more men in the room.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD

Bearing The Burden Of Love’s Unsolvable Mystery

Published on by Raphael AwenLeave a comment

By  Raphael Awen

💚 Realizing that all of your awakening is only ever but a measure is humbling. Then realizing that infinity bears no measure is more humbling still. 🏄🏻‍♂️

We are all in the awakening and we are all in the slumber. Love is playing with us, dancing with us, wanting to come to know itself through us, knowing that it never will and never wants to because of its own infinity. It just does what it does for the joy, reverence awe and wonder of it all.

Love invites you to meet with it there, in the unknown, in the surrender, where every mistake is an infinite success, where every pain is the source of unspeakable healing.

You bear the burden of love’s unsolvable mystery.

You can’t be solved or fixed because even your belief that you needed fixing is all a part of this mystery of being.

This being that you are; infinite, pretending with your measuring tape; omniscient, pretending to be missing a memo; omnipresent, pretending to be in one place at one time; omnipotent, pretending to be lacking something, ALL is love at play.

You have lots of awakening to do, but not for the attainment of it, for it literally gets you nowhere.

But when you get there, you won’t ever want to go back, and you won’t want to stop dancing with this love moving through you.

Xo,

~ R ~

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheart.org for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. 

The SoulFullHeart Portal on Mighty Networks, a virtual gathering place for community engagement, exclusive content from us such as energy update writings and guided meditation videos, plus community forum threads with topics and groups that you can read, join, and contribute to as you want. You can join us at the SoulFullHeart Portal here: soulfullheartportal.mn.co/ for a monthly subscription of $22.22 USD