Opting for the Heaven you don’t know over the Hell you do know will call upon everything in you.
Deep in our essence, we know love in the profoundest sense, yet we struggle to feel it and know it in an everyday sense. We are love. We are heaven. But we took a forgetful journey to the far away land of love’s lack to grow into more of love’s ever expanding infinity.
This is where you find yourself now, far away from love, yet BEing this love, and feeling the parts of yourself and others that are not yet reconciled to this love we all are.
You are love, yet you experience hell.
The craziness of this will constantly incline you to make many temporary and false heavens out of the hell you are actually in.
If you want to get to know more of the real heaven that you don’t yet know in your everyday experience, you are going to have to spend some of that bank account you are holding onto of the hell you do know.
The hell you know is the currency that will buy you what you really want, if you are willing to let it go.
This will require admitting that the hell you are in, is in fact a hell….that you are willing to leave it, and that you want help to find your way out. If that isn’t true for you yet, you simply aren’t done with your sacred chosen hell and what the time there is meant to bring you.
This will also require that you are willing to authorize a resource that you recognize as being part of your emerging heaven to assist you, guide you…that they represent your higher self, your heaven, in physical form.
This will require feeling the painful gap between where you are now and where you long to be, and all that this gap is meant to alchemize in you.
If you are at this place, you have entered the place of true adventure, where the first step is actually as grand as the last step, as they are all steps on the same sacred journey.
If you feel like you are not at this place, see if this feels like you, or instead a part of you, and then see if you are ready to show up for this part of you and the hell they find themselves in.
With all the current energies coming in and sending our emotional and spiritual bodies into psychic turbulence, there is a real need and desire to find a way to deal with and comprehend it all. That feels like a big distinction to me. To ‘deal with’ or to ‘comprehend’. I remember when I was feeling so much emoto-spiritual pain years ago all a part of me really wanted was to find a way to feel better. Whatever it took. Looking for band-aids. But when there is a hemorrhaging going on at the core, a band-aid doesn’t help in the long term.
There are so many ways that we can manage our internal earthquakes. I don’t judge them one way or the other. It is what we are using them for that is where we get our power and ‘biggest bang for our buck’ so to speak. This is where we move from dealing to comprehending. Where we really want to get to a root of understanding and feeling what and who we are BOTH as emotive and spiritual beings.
This a new frontier of our evolution. Not just to fix ourselves to feel better, to alleviate pain, but to actually go IN to the pain. To navigate the murky, yet beautiful waters of our deeper woundings. This is not just therapeutic work! It is not meant to alleviate, but illuminate and generate a new power structure withIN you. Not just be a victim looking for solutions, but a fully empowered being that is looking for conscious sovereignty. One who is seeking to unravel a mystery to integrate the gifts that are earned through the sometimes difficult to feel world of exploring the shadow.
It is through the power of your own authority and the integrity of another’s experience in this journey that a co-creation can arise that brings both into a trust ground that actually brings the kinds of healing your soul is actually calling for. The kinds of changes that are needed for real growth and sustained goodness rooted in the soil of your shadow. By feeling the part of you that is protective of your goodies is the key to the further ground of this ever deepening awakening.
We have all been through our own crucibles and difficult choice points. We have discovered new vistas inside of ourselves that want to be shared with others and the world. It is more than just feeling good, it is feeling alive and aware of the vast potential within us that is in ever growing curiosity and expansion. I feel the amazing growth and awarenesses that have occurred in those that have been in the process of real Self discovery. I am here to serve that as I continue to be that for myself and my own growth. It is an open invitation to understand and become more than you ever felt possible.
It is love seeking itself through you and it just needs some help to get to where it wants to be felt, even when it might hurt like hell. You have someone there to be there with you through it all.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
Sometimes I share about current energies and it is a download from my higher self/angelic aspects/Divine Source that describes more of a collective experience. I am more like a NOW caster, sharing what MAY be happening for many souls on the ascension and awakening path at the emotional body, soul, and physical levels. With these messages, it is not always personally happening for me as I may have cleared those aspects in my Metasoul field already or healed it in my emotional body. It’s not that I am ‘done’ with healing, it’s just that I am in a different phase perhaps having been on this path for awhile and starting ‘ahead of the curve’ in some cases, signing up to be an early adopter.
Yet, THIS phase of where the energy seems to be bringing many of us, I AM also strongly feeling and experiencing myself. I spent yesterday in space holding for myself and some healing and BEing with one of my core wounds that I haven’t felt triggered in awhile yet life set up the perfect storm of situations for it to come up. I didn’t come to our group call yesterday to BE with me and the Metasoul aspect that seemed most connected to this wounding, Mareeka, who is an Atlantian aspect. Her Atlantis timeline and my current one are bleeding through to each other in ways that I have not experienced before (another aspect of what these energies are offering us.) So, the core wounding for me in my emotional body AND as a Metasoul theme for me is around ‘rejected daugher’ or ‘unloved daughter’ for which my soul gave me plenty of opportunities to feel this life…I have been ‘working’ this one for many years in many layers and ways and I was grateful to be able to move another piece of it yesterday.
Through my personal experience and what I’m witnessing in others, I feel THIS is a phase of going into these wounds in a more ‘real’ way than many souls may have before. I offer in the video below about how these high frequencies of photonic light, intense cosmic activities, and PURE love waves are pushing up woundings in our emotional bodies and Metasouls to be felt, healed, and LOVED and how to BE with all this through parts work.
This process is continuing and seems to be accelerating. MUCHO accelerating. CORE wounds are different than energy tones and that we might identify as emotional reactions or emotional moods. I believe they exist in our emotional bodies and our individual, personal Metasouls yet, also, in the collective emotional body and Metasouls.
CORE wounds run DEEP…..very deep. In my experience, they cannot really be made into a part or subpersonality as we do with other frequencies such as depression, rage, anxiety, control, etc. They are visceral, without language, they ooze OUT and WITH the frequencies for which they have been formed. They are beyond the mind, cannot be talk therapied or hypnotized or cleared through energy sessions (although these things can help.) The main way to heal them seems to be the continual connection to the outer and downstream expression of them, which is the persona aspects such as the Inner Child, Inner Protector, Inner Punisher, Inner Teenager, 3D Self, Inner Matriarch/Patriarch, etc.
It is connecting with these persona aspects and getting separation between them and YOU (your soul self, authentic self, higher self coming into body) through verbal dialogue, written journaling, creative visualization that then clears enough ‘out of the way’ for the CORE wounding to come up. This is the process SoulFullHeart facilitators bridge to you during sessions and the ‘work’ you do on your own as differentiation only happens INside you and not through others, although a guide through this murky and sometimes difficult terrain, who is going through it themselves, can be critical.
As this separation happens from these persona aspects…..THEN you can begin to feel the CORE wounds that lie beneath. Deep pools of oozing CORE unworthiness, disconnect, abandonment. These words don’t really suffice as descriptions, yet they are the closest that we have. When these CORE wounds finally come up after much self love holding space AND differentiation/negotiation with the persona parts, there isn’t much that can be DONE but to feel and BE with it. There may be stories and scenes associated with these CORE wounds coming up but, often, there is not. There may be connections to this life, childhood experiences with birth family and especially parents, but this often the surface stuff.
The deep dive into this CORE wounding is what we seem to be supported to GO INTO with these high frequencies of loving light. With a more palatable sense of our ethereal guides/aspects, we are able to feel more safety to go there then we have before. It was easier to be distracted before by the ‘surface stuff’ of reactions and triggers and projections. Still, many souls are being distracted by these things and NOT going deeper to feel how this lives inside of their emotional bodies. Yet, for those who are open to going within, THIS seems to be the time and phase to do so and there are MANY rewards for doing so, the biggest one being the OPENING of your upper heart to receive and give love with self and others.
I feel that these CORE wounds can be bypassed and often ARE by many, even those who are teachers and WAYshowers. And, that’s ok, in a way, because there is still service of love coming through the parts of them that are ‘in charge’ of the BEing and aren’t ready or wanting to go there yet. I’m just here to bring and offer a bridge through SoulFullHeart to these deeper spaces and especially to and with those souls that FEEL there are woundings in them that they want to FINALLY feel and heal in their emotional bodies and Metasouls and want to offer this healing to others too. The feeling is usually that a ‘ceiling’ of some kind has been reached on awakening and especially related to the emotional body.
ALL this talk of CORE wounds does not mean that we are broken or need fixing. We HAVE wounds, yet we are NOT actually our woundings. It can SEEM that way when they remain hidden away, yet exist as an underground operating energy in so many areas of life, impacting so many areas of our lives. Our Infinite Love essence can illuminate and hold these woundings and invite them to integrate and into the light of Love that we ARE!
We’ve all heard about the internalized messages we received in various ways about ‘the self being bad.’
Much worse, we came to know and feel this as an emotional living hell reality that almost completely governed our relationship with our entire lives.
But what even is the self? Is there a nutshell definition that could somehow fit and not diminish the vastness of what we’ve come to call the ‘self’?
And what is it about this self that got messaged about being so ‘bad’? What was it specifically about the self that even the word self-ish was a bad word from its inception?
(In case you haven’t noticed, I like asking QUESTions, more than I like answers. Answers often block our QUESTions. The answers we receive can never exceed the quality of the QUESTions we are willing to ask. I felt the above QUESTions rumble through me this morning, and now, I await for a response, not so much for ‘thee’ answer, but for an answer that can move and carry us to our next places of living into our truth.)
I tune into beloved guide Metatron, as an extension of my higher self, that is ‘other’ and ‘me’ at the same time. I await his response…
(And it’s a funny feeling, because a part of me says ‘I have no clue what he’s going to say, but I guess if he doesn’t have anything alive or deep to share, we can always not post this,’ as another part of me wants to apologize to Metatron for the lingering doubt…)
Metatron says:
“As infinite love essence, you did not fear entering a deficit of this awareness. You knew that entering a lack of awareness could not take away from your essence as infinite love. You also knew that the only way to get outside of the infinite love that you are would be through a for-getting, a ‘giving up of having’ in your awareness of any feelings of your essence as being this infinite love. You even needed the very real feelings of demonizing the self to provide the feeling of escaping the prison of your essence. You very much created a sub-reality within a greater reality, as you knew that losing awareness could not affect your actual possession.
“This is likened to a man who only knows living in great wealth his whole life and comes to wondering how the rest of the world lives and feels. He knows he has lost his appreciation for what he has and in that has lost his reverence for life itself. Smothered in goodness, he must explore badness to find himself.
“Your higher self though has remained in fluent connection with the essence that you are, as you detoured into ‘what you are not’ and is now wanting to return to deep awareness of who and what you really are. You knew you needed the contrasting experience of forgetting and re-MEMBERing, and in the experience of re-entering your essence a second time, in order to let in reverence.
“This is who and what you are. Deep reverberating reverence.
“This, what you once feared and diminished, NOW, invites you into and onto this next stage of your quest.
“You forgot in order to remember. Your forgetting is complete.
“This is the time of your remembrance, of being re-membered into the fullest membership of being the infinite love you are and always were, and are ever becoming”
‘Making love’, ‘making time’, and ‘making money’ are all phrases that were wordsmithed out of the scarcity and unworthiness phase of our consciousness evolution.
Love, we are coming to see, is not in need of making, but we can yield to its fullness if and when and as we are ready to…sexually, emotionally, communally along with whatever other multitudinous ways we can desire it.
Time needs no making. Time is so super abundant that we fear its infinity of opportunity, and so we created the victim’s perception of ‘I just don’t have the time’. We each have been given ‘all have all the time in the world’ to do with it as we please. We are busying ourselves (in several ways) coming to terms with that.
Money is love, a currency, a flow; all of which are more resisted than they are served when we set out to rigidly ‘make money’ in the ways we have.
I’d like to propose that we reinvent these all these expressions from ‘make’ to ‘let-in’.
“I’m still glowing from letting-in love early this morning”.
“Yes, I will let-in the time to meet with you”.
“We’ll just have to let-in the money for a new one, won’t we?”
Sounds and feels better doesn’t it?….for letting-in this super abundant and worth phase of our consciousness evolution that we are now being invited into.
Yesterday I began painting for the first time in a couple of months. Since I was a young boy, visual art in the form of drawing, coloring, and painting has always been a source of pleasure and expression for me. It has also been a source of suffering by way of inner criticism and perfectionism. So much desire to create beauty for the eyes and heart to take in and be moved by. I feel a soul passion when I start to create and a plethora of reaction that offer me doorways into my wounding. So it feels like a romance in a way with a ton of grist and possibility.
When I am in the “zone”, time disappears. I am in flow and it feels like my essence is coming out to play. After being in that space, I could feel a reaction to being “outside” of it. Like that feeling went away and I couldn’t get it back. I lost the mojo and the only way to get it back was to start painting again. I can feel that like a drug reaction. I began to feel how a part of me was relating to the experience and not the “whole” me. The Gabriel that relates to the act of painting as a part of a larger “painting” that is being created by my Higher Self in all moments of each “day”.
We are Creators. We are Artists of exquisite talent and power…regardless of what we consider to be artistic. Right now I am creating. My words are manifesting a vibration of energy that is being sent out into the cosmic canvass. They may land in someone or not. They my have impact or disinterest. But either way I am creating something in this moment. I am feeling myself as I type and that is altering my experience of who I am. I am feeling a different relationship to my world in the moment. Something will reflect back to me my energy and I will get to feel that and be changed again.
There are times when a brush stroke will land away from an intended space and the order of what a part of me was expecting just became disorder. It just got messy and something comes up for me to feel. I can see it as a mistake or as something to learn from and see it is meant to stay a part of the creation. Maybe I am offered a new vision, and new pathway to create something totally different and unexpected. Something I just couldn’t see or feel beforehand. My consciousness just shifted and I grew from it.
In this awareness, I feel I have a choice. A choice to be in my reaction and let it take me where I need to go even if it is messy, or I can hold and feel what part of me is energizing this emotion and see what it is want to message to me. Neither which is wrong. Both are creating and informing. There are no mistakes in art as there are none in growth.
So let that brush go! Let it follow your intuitive heart. Make lines and splashes. Realize that you are the one that is in your full power of choice. If your tapestry feels like it is in disarray, there is a part of you that is creating that to get your attention. It is responding to the chaos within. If you are wanting more, see that more and feel your way through the perceptions that can’t let in that more. To be great creators means we take on great responsibility for what we create. It is time for us to paint a new picture of what we feel is possible and turn it into probable and let it become likely until it is definitely.
Create a bigger and grander picture for yourself that goes beyond what parts of you have been conditioned to believe and expect. This is done through being with and feeling the parts of you that have been capped due to many personal experiences and collective memes. We are powerful individually, but exponentially so collectively. Let us consciously create a new world together full of magic and color!
If you are curious to be a part of a creative healing community that is committed to letting in all that we can infinitely be, please join us on our next group call this Saturday at 11:11 CST. You can go to http://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com/groupcalls for more information.
Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual teacher, men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life. Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.
None of us gets to be home until all of us are home.
This is true for us sub-personally as in each and every part of us finding their way home, and this is also true for us on super-personal level as in each and every one of us collectively finding our way home.
The healing occurs on the micro and the macro and they are so magically interconnected. This is why when you heal personally, this is your great gift to the collective, AND, as you serve the collective, you serve yourself.
It kind of eliminates our use of the word ‘selfish’ as you are a self-interested self and really can’t not be that. True and healthy self interest is true love for others.
This week’s Museletter is busting at the seems from the love that wants to make its way to your heart! The featured article by Jelelle Awen digest the recent crop circle creation in Cley Hill, England. She takes the meaning in through the SoulFullHeart perspective and applies it to our own personal and collective disclosures of deep healing. We are all One, and as we each make our own personal journeys we are thereby effecting the greater whole. The graphic representation shows us that we are all connected in an infinite world and we are being supported by the various beings that have a deep love for us and our ascension.
Included is more information about our call this Saturday at 11:11 CST on Zoom. We will be discussing the 7 Key areas of life that we focus on in SoulFullHeart and how they are experienced in the 3rd, 4th, and 5th dimensions. If you cannot make this one, more info about future calls is included.
This week we had a huge output of writing and a lot to digest as a community and personally. A lot is moving and shifting in our world and that can bring up many reactions, both of joy and not so joyous. It is what gives us the experience to learn and grow from that we then share with you from our open hearts.
There is also a new energy update from Jelelle about how the incoming codes are creating compression points inside of us that are needing to be held and felt to release and integrate into new layers of consciousness.
So from all of us at SoulFullHeart we offer you another week’s worth of our passion and purpose, sprinkled with a ton of love. Thank you so much for taking this is in each week. If you feel that what we are offering has been giving you much reflection and guidance, we would love to feel your gratitude through a Love Donation through our website or through our Patreon page where you can even offer a monthly contribution.
Have a great weekend and may love continue to work its way into your world!
Many worlds you live in and walk in and BE in. Many versions of you show up for each of these worlds. There are the masks to slip on and wear as needed….each ‘world’ requiring something different in energy, tone, response. You ‘put it on’, you wear it even as it wearies you more and more to be worn like this. You are like a quick change artist, perhaps shifting without consciousness into new OUTfits many times a day.
All these different worlds leave you stretching over the gaps between who you really ARE and what they EXPECT you to be. The formfitting happens from parts of you that know so well how to do this and have become experts at conforming in this way. Part of you has become a camouflage creature, able to become just like ANY environment that you are in. You can become the color of the social scenery around you, blend right in. This was the order of the day to survive; this is 3D life that requires a heightened sense of self preservation that is about NOT being yourself, yet about being like EVERYONE else.
You start to wake up from your sleep walk. You start to SEE through each of these worlds. You visit the sets and stages. You begin to recognize the props and costumes that you are required to wear. You feel where continual suffering is the badge of entry in and the energy needed to remain. You see the others that were once close to you start to fade from your interest as they stay invested in these worlds and you begin to pull out. They may grab at you and you may go back, in a push-pull and mixed feelings conflictual dance with many things learned on both sides.
Sometimes, you feel like a ghost walking once familiar and comforting hallways that can no longer provide you a place to BE in solid form. Sometimes, you feel like a bull dozer, purposely collapsing these worlds and your place in them….clearing the way for the NEW. Sometimes you are a phoenix…rising from the ashes of all this fiery wreckage to BE reborn without constraints or limits. Sometimes you are a little child, just sobbing in the corner as you wait for a parent to take your hand and show you the way home.
There are no straight lines to follow or linear directional paths to navigate this shifting and sorting out of your worlds. Increasing LOVE for yourself and with others and with the Divine provides heartlines that you can use to navigate in the lost moments. The heartlines disappear at times too, as they are meant to as these are the moments where you inner strength truly grows.
You are free falling into the abyss of lost self identity as the roles fall away, along with the attachments and the rules and expectations too. Yet you begin to trust more and more that you will land on the soft soil of your own soul’s kNOWing and into the arms of the Divine. You begin to find your home. You more often return to love as THIS is the world that offers the most nourishment. And, you start to remember how always will you return, eventually, to the love that you actually ARE!
Early morning is my favourite ‘time’ of day… this time of creative flow even though I’m still sleepy and full of ‘work’ with my online job. My life is incredible, it really is. There were so many years when I couldn’t imagine that I would be living this way, yet I so wanted to. I couldn’t possibly have envisioned exactly how this would go or what this life lived in service of love would look and feel like. There was always a fantasy of living amongst others who shared my level of consciousness and challenged me to keep expanding it. Retreats and spiritual conferences were great but not enough – I needed and wanted to make spirituality my life.
This time of day (early morning) is also when my beloveds in my community of SoulFullHeart and I start dialoguing over Google Hangouts. We live in the same building, more or less, yet this is our way of staying in touch and also being in our own sacred spaces. The love exchange is there underneath all correspondence, even if reactions are being shared and processed or guidance is being held and given as to where we need to go next inside of ourselves and inside of our relationships to one another. It’s something I could try and describe to you, yet it’s just a unique experience that extends well beyond ideas of ‘unconditional’ love. We love each other deeply but are so willing to let go, let be, let arise, without unfair expectations, at least after this much time and process and this many phases together. We are a close-knit group but we have done a lot of personal work to have this level of intimacy. My place in this community has had its ups and downs and times of turning sideways too. Every single minute of tension and exhilaration has been so worth it though, to be able to transact love in this way, and to FEEL so much love for myself AND for them! There is nothing I can compare this to. It is the closest thing to ‘Golden Earth’ I have ever experienced in THIS life, where love is the container, the contender, the artist and the canvas too.
I’m being moved to share this experience in this moment, because of love overflow I feel from nourishing time with Jelelle yesterday, feeling the love and care from Raphael as he helps me clean, paint and fix-up my new suite I’m moving into soon (same building, just a bit bigger for my dog and I), and the ongoing love I feel between Gabriel and I, my best soul friend who I have been through so much with. I am brimming over with gratitude and love for them and for ME too… so much so that tears are coming. I have been intensely immersed in a new chapter for myself, training and doing practicums for a new online job that will pay better and have better hours than my current one. And it’s all happening in the name and flow of love and serving love too, as this means more money to share with my community and more space in my day to serve facilitants and also through my creativity, wherever it wants to take me.
It has taken a lot of process to really see, feel and let in what I have in SoulFullHeart – the work itself, my parts, the people, and most of all the LOVE. Gratitude and appreciation of been a long time coming, and this genuine, heartfelt flow of it that I can now feel is one that truly brings tears and the warmest feeling in my heart that I have ever experienced. It is a true feeling of being held by the Divine, by my own heart and self-love and also by the love I am IN with OTHERS. There is nothing that compares to commUNITY. At least nothing I’ve experienced or can speak from!
There is nothing I want more than to share this with more people. To have more of you jump in with us, though of course this is challenging… the hardest part is the awakenings within, the stirrings of arising process, realizations that you have much to heal as a human AND a soul and that it ALL changes you and your life in big ways, though the changes may feel subtle at first in some cases. Yet, it is so worth it and that worth and reward can only be experienced personally. ❤
We are holding another group call over Zoom (online) tomorrow at 11:11 am CST (Mexico City) if you’d like to join us. You’ll be able to immerse with us for 2 full hours and even be given the space to share if you wish. Silence is okay too. It’s a lot to take in. We are a lot to take in. This ‘new’ frequency of LOVE is a lot to take in! Here is the link to the event if you are interested in learning more: //www.facebook.com/events/271320303342295
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Kalayna Colibri is a SoulFullHeart facilitator for women around (and under) the age of 30, energy healer, indigo-crystal bridge, soul scribe, and poetess. Visitsoulfullheartwayoflife.comfor more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. Visit our patreon page to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.
Divine Self Embodiment Blog (Formerly SoulFullHeart) 