Navigating The Confluence Of Change

Just now recovering from one of the worst ‘flus’ in a long time. This tends to occur for me when going through lots of life changes at once. I have also recognized that it was at the confluence of the last 9 days, 9 months, and 9 years. Very catalytic and life-changing cycles all ending at one point. BOOOSH!!
 
It felt like I got hit by a Mack truck with symptoms all over the map, head to toe (including the teeth…a part of me needs to say.) I could feel how much my poor body has held this life and clearly in other lives. I have become more aware of it but this particular convergence really highlighted it.
 
I have come across so much darkness and suffering in myself and my soul over these cycles. I have also found more light & love than I ever expected to be privy to in one lifetime. This can be a challenge for the body to integrate in such a short period of time. I experienced myself differently during the past SFH Equinox gathering in a way that I haven’t fully assimilated yet. This brings up its own shadow/fear/excitement response. It needs to come up if I am going to continue to serve Love those I am meant to serve.
 
I saw my power. My gift. My desire to serve others, crossing territory that, in some ways, my soul has spent a millennia in. I felt the uniqueness of myself as a man, however I choose to define that. I have a sacred role. Not out of a duty but as a passion to create bridges into the New. I felt a growing closeness to and love for my feminine that continues to blossom everyday. I don’t know how I could do this without her.
 
I found a feminine star seed that I am just starting to tap into that I feel as a priceless gift to bestow upon me when the time is ripe. There are codes floating all around waiting for their landing pad. This is an exciting new frontier for all of me. The coming together of the Dark codes and the Light codes. They all have a role to play within us.
 
I am releasing a lot of my past relationship with Kalayna which has been a big catalyst for this rumble. So many gifts that I have been mining from the letting go. One being a revived relationship with my inner teenager and feeling his energetic bind with Mom that needed more purging.
 
On the physical level, a big detox of all the drugs, alcohol, and smoke that I consumed up until I started this journey 9 years ago.
 
Thanks for taking this in with me. I needed to unpack this a bit for myself and yet I felt to share as it may serve in its own way. It is both a personal chronicling and a shared experience.
 
We are all in a time of great change. How we are with those changes greatly influence how we move through them and where we land on the other side.

*****

Gabriel Heartman is an emoto-spiritual men’s and women’s facilitator, energy healer, writer, poet, and heartist with the SoulFullHeart Way of Life.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc. 

Visit our website to offer a money donation to support our offerings at https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife/donations.

Moving From Care-taking to Care-giving

By Raphael Awen

After raising or changing your frequency, you find and feel old energies present in your relationships that reflect the old you; the old you that doesn’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way, or to the same degree.

A natural tendency is to caretake those friends or family members rather than honestly and integrously bringing your truth, seeing them as kind of ‘grandfathered in’ into your life. Trouble is, grandpa’s dying or maybe even long gone, but you’re stuck with all of his unsorted stuff.

I don’t know of a greater or more effective cap on our growth than this deep rooted conditioning of caretaking.

Seeing to the core of this tendency, we see that the withhold of our truth is actually a withhold of our love; albeit in the name of love. A part of us is defensively caretaking the friend or family member out of fear of loss, out of personal need, rather than heart overflow.

This is why it’s called caretaking – it’s very much ‘on the take’. It’s living out of the absence and lack of love. It’s begging and fighting over scraps and crumbs.

Integrity asks us to be integrated, as in coming from one place, not two. This means purity; of one substance. Here, and only here, as well as magically here, the love that we truly give our selves (parts of us) is the same love; the same in character and kind that we have to give others. Nothing needs to be hidden. Nothing needs to be worked on to preserve the relationship. Relating is real and only real. Real has an energy of its own where the tendency to caretake naturally falls away and diminishes more and more as we integrate.

What truth of yours is wanting to come out into your relationships? What truth have you been disintegrously withholding in the name (and name only) of love? What manifestations of growth is a part of you afraid of while holding onto this shrinking pattern? What stress that is sourced in this hiding have you normalized? What would it feel like to bring your truth?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Becoming The Author Of Your Own Story

By Raphael Awen

When you are no longer controlled by outside forces, you are the author, possessing the author-ity for what your life is about.

Becoming the Sovereign of your own life in this way is a scary proposition as it leaves us completely responsible for own lives, leaving us the challenge of owning all of our lives – all that’s in our lives, and all of our lifetimes.

There’s no one to blame. There’s no circumstance to point the finger at; no lot in life, that doesn’t originate in you.

The idea of having whatever you want is only novel and exciting until you realize that’s what actually been going on this whole time. The challenge is coming to terms with your authorship, deciding the story that you actually want; deciding and negotiating between the parts of you that want different things.

You are not your circumstances. You are not your relationships. You are not your job. You are not your bank balance. You are not even your health. You created all of that, but you are not that.

You are the creator.

Maybe like me, you set your sights on healing your anxiety or your depression. You did that, only to realize this was much to small a goal for the Sovereign you actually are. No longer being in the depths of anxiety or depression is nice, but that alone can’t fill the expansive sails of your being.

You are called to experience yourself in continual curiosity and childlike wonder and learning. You are ever called to more.

What does your more look like? What is wanting to mature and manifest in your life, in your world, in your magical story?

What have parts of you been afraid of, in order to enact the changes that you know are ripening in your story?

How can you lovingly reconcile and negotiate these inner differences?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

9/9 Cycle Completions & New Beginnings

by Kalayna Solais

No matter the portal that’s open or ‘time of year’, we get to look at ourselves, reflect on what we’ve walked out, and choose to see the next steps into who, where, and even WITH whom we would like to be. By this I mean, we get to choose if we’re ready to embrace the steps in front of us toward our next romantic soulmate bond, a new depth of soul community experience, new approaches to money/livelihood alchemy, and above all, new ways in which we can BE with ourselves.

Sometimes as we complete one cycle we begin another one right away. Endings breed beginnings, always, as life moves through us in these cycles. These can include karmic cycles where we’re being reflected the same themes over and over again even as we reach and go into the next layers of completing these patterns. These can include patterns of how we’ve been in relationships of all kinds too, romantic, friendship, even at work. Cycles exist everywhere and they include the many patterns we’ve lived out both consciously and unconsciously. It feels as if this 9/9 day is another significant opportunity to SEE patterns and where they’ve originated and we get to choose if/when we’re ready to deeply feel them.

I always get a sense especially of ‘karma’ around the number 9. It’s a number that is both an open and closed shape in one. It’s a number that to me shows a cycle that isn’t quite complete but may be in the process of completing. This is so true on a collective and personal level, where we’re feeling and seeing some pieces heating up but there IS a sense of completion coming too. Or at least more opportunities to become complete with something, some cycle or pattern, if we’re truly ready to show up for that.

9 reminds us somehow that we do have an array of choices before us, that we do get to find our power and act from there, but also that we need surrender too. We do have to show up at least halfway for life to truly respond to us and our deepest needs, but the real work sometimes is in the surrendering to life at the same time, and to a much bigger picture that we can’t possibly fathom just yet.

I feel this for myself as I continue to explore my alchemy and what I’ve drawn socially too. I continue to be challenged to feel my parts in their resistances and defenses but also see my progress and just how open my heart is these days, whereas even just a couple of years ago that would have been much harder to really see or feel as true.

In my process now, I can feel my parts in the midst of completing a cycle of taking things personally that has felt ENDLESS and so heartbreaking over and over again for many years. This has helped me feel my heart even more open and compassionate toward others and where they’re at right now that may not be in resonance with where I am, but that doesn’t take away from my care for them. This has drawn some interesting interactions, ranging from going deep very quickly to being kicked by parts of them that are in reaction. The reality of an open heart is that we can draw either extreme… at least until parts of us no longer need that reflection from life. This is where I’m going with this now, to feel why these extremes are what’s happening versus a more mellow and easily digestible experience of connection with others.

On this 9/9 day, whatever you may be feeling as a completion or a new beginning, there’s plenty of alchemy to go around in either direction and sometimes in both ways at the same time. And, as always, there is SO much love with you that wants to support you through all of it. ❤

My beloveds and I are ready to serve should you desire a session with us to help you find your next places to go on your own personal path: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/sessions

On September 14th, join Raphael and Jelelle Awen for their next group transmission: https://www.facebook.com/events/1340021326164133/ on 4D Matrix/Karmic Healing! This is another opportunity to feel your next steps in healing your own karmic cycles and pain. ❤

***

Kalayna Solais is a SoulFullHeart Facilitator for women, energy healer, soul scribe, and poetess.  Visit https://www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about space holding sessions, group calls, videos, community, etc.

 

 

The Door To Our Inner Garden

By Raphael Awen

And for how long we longed after some door external to us to find our magic, our light, our sparkle, when the door was in our own inner garden all along. 

If this is true, then what seems to predispose us all to look outward or to an other?

We have been convinced that the self is ‘selfish,’ an inherently bad word and a very bad thing, when in truth until you become truly and deeply selfish, youcan in no wise inherit the kingdom of God, for this kingdom and queendom is inside you.

To be fully selfish is to do and be what brings you the fullest and deepest pleasure. How could that not be to the fullest and deepest pleasure of all of life and every living thing around you.

Shortchanging yourself is shortchanging the world and everyone around you. 

Your problem isn’t that you are self centred, it is that you are not centred in yourself enough to the true degree and depths of that which you really are and with what you really want. 

Give up the pretence that you have no self-interest for when in fact, as a self, that is all you have.

Show me your most noble self-less act, and then show me how you are not deriving a personal return from it. 

Until we reconcile this inside of ourselves, the door to our own inner garden of our magic remains sealed.

How could it be any different?

*****

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Falling IN Love

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

By Raianna Shai

In the past few weeks I have been trying to find the space and time to write a blog post, finding that I have struggled to “force” something profound and meaningful out of me when sometimes just living is as profound as you need to be in any moment. I have so much desire to serve love to others and to share what I learn on my awakening journey. Even now, I have many ideas of what I could write about but the words aren’t flowing as easily as they have in the past.

So as I sit here with an open heart, energy and time, I decided just to write about where I am currently in my life. That is what’s most authentic and flows from my heart with ease.

Right now I am falling in love. With myself, with other, with my life and family. I am falling in love inside and outside. I am growing and changing and facing my fears as much as I possibly can to continue letting in all of this love.

My inner process has been focused on a feminine and masculine part of me who are also learning to fall in love. They both have desires, needs, boundaries and fears. My feminine part, who I am calling Shai, is emotional and passionate and a true romantic at heart. My masculine part, named Michael, is discerning, intelligent and has a gift of holding 3D tasks. Together, they are balanced and full of love. Apart, they are opposite forces working against one another creating fear, anxiety and projection onto others.

Because of the abundance of goodness in my life right now, I have been focusing on these two parts in order to be able to continue letting it all in. It’s easy for parts to get scared when things are going well. In a dimension where things tend to “go wrong”, we can make predictions ahead of time of what may not work or what we might lose. In that, we lose the moment. We lose what we have in the present and we don’t get everything out of it that we could.

I’m working on not expecting the worse. On not bracing myself for the impact of something bad. But first, I feel the parts that do expect the worst and discover why that is. The more that Shai and Michael vulnerably share their fears with me, the more they will fall in love and fall in tandem with one another. That’s when their gifts can shine and that love can be shared with others.

We talk about inner sacred union a lot for a reason. It’s so important to start within. To grow the glow of love so brightly that it shines through every pore and into those around you.

*****

I found this poem from almost two years ago that I thought was fitting for this! It’s from my masculine too my feminine:

I always thought I was different than the other men

More sensitive

More emotional

More mature

 

I thought I was protecting you from the other men

Giving you edges

Hiding your feelings

Numbing your reactions

 

I thought you’d be hurt by the other men

They would crack you into pieces

They would scratch your porcelain skin

They would break your fragile heart

 

But now I see your strength as a woman

Your compassion

Your empathetic prowess

Your stillness and energy, both

 

I thought I could hide you as a woman

Under formless clothing

Under quick-witted comebacks

Under disinterest in romance

 

Maybe now I can support you as a woman

Become the mind to your heart

Become the here to your now

Become the pot to your plant

 

I’m not meant to be your guard,

But instead your partner

Your partner in this dance

Few know the steps to

 

Where our rhythms match,

Our hearts unite

And our souls release the energy

Of every star in the nighttime sky

*****

Raianna Shai is a SoulFullHeart facilitant and social media maven for SoulFullHeart Way Of Life. Visit  www.soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, community, etc. Return LOVE in money form: https://www.paypal.me/supportsoulfullheart or visit our Patreon page to become a monthly supporter: https://www.patreon.com/soulfullheart.

Choosing To Forget

By Raphael Awen

You’ve chosen to forget.

The desire, the rate and pace, the content of what and how you remember is also a choice.

A dynamic and powerful part of you has been assigned to hold this tension of what needs to remain in the forgotten category and what is safe and timely to be remembered. We could call this part of you, your Gatekeeper, the guardian of the necessary veil who enabled and afforded you to inhabit this desired third dimensional school without imploding.

It’s been a bit of a family joke for those that know me to have a little fun with my forgetfulness around movies. I’ve tended strongly to forget titles, story lines, and often only recall a movie I’m watching for the second time part way into the movie. It’s not all movies as some story lines made profound impacts and memories. Other movies, however, who people around me found interesting enough, I often even fell asleep to while watching.

I asked my Gatekeeper whose name is Rhodes about this, this morning and immediately my awareness expanded out that this forgetfulness of story has directly to do with the strength of the veil that I chose and needed this life. Even with Rhodes himself along with stories of my Metasoul aspects and their timelines, I’ve had trouble recalling some time following after having deep and profound processes of remembering. It would simply get swallowed back up into a sea of a kind of a sea of forgetfulness.

Rhodes communicated today that the strength of other timelines stories needed to have sufficient veil in order that the purpose of this timeline be protected. As I’m awakening, however, this movie amnesia, whether it’s about movies or about my soul history, or even this life history, is making other parts of me feel self conscious. They want to get on with remembering. Remembering, they feel is the answer to what is ached for, and the answer to where parts of me feel, I and they still experience suffering.

I’m told that forgetting is a kind of suffering, a burden to bear, if you will, that we all chose, collectively and individually as a service to the goals and desires of love. Forgetting is not static however. Forgetting is for the purpose of remembering. We hid our own Easter eggs and we wrapped our own Christmas presents. We forgot in order to remember.

I’m told that remembering is ’to be returned to being a member’, after surrendering to a kind of dismemberment from love. The forgetting had its own pains as does remembering, like blood returning to a limb that fell asleep.

I’m told that the whole purpose of forgetting and remembering was to expand love from its original perfect/imperfect state. Love itself wanted to be noticed and to be revered. It birthed duality as a place to get noticed, seen and appreciated.

Getting to know and feel this magical part of you who’s been your personal Gatekeeper is now your opportunity to negotiate the rate and pace and content of your awakening as you lovingly guide yourself and other parts of yourself through this epic journey.

Story lines from other timelines in your Metasoul await you to be felt and seen and transmuted into love. Karma itself also wants to be transmuted from the expectation of pain to the expectation of bounty and love.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Class Action Love Suit

By Raphael Awen

Anxiety and depression coming up are at first seen to be related to how one feels about this life.

Looking deeper and feeling deeper, one can see how these feelings also stem from the Metasoul – Mirroring aspects of our wider self, in other timelines often holding karmic binds, an expectation of things going wrong.

Karma’s whole point was to bring us to remorse and reconciliation from this polarized extremity and duality of living as if one could harm an other and reframe from harming self.

Feeling the deeper soul’s sorry, one moves the karmic binds from a kind of class action law suit arrayed against you, to a kind of class action love suit, where victim and perpetrator recreate and rewrite the story to one of deep love through the inseparable bond of karma.

I felt this while feeling my Atlantean Metasoul aspect today, who I’ve come to know as Mordecai. At first, it was simply a heightened energy of fearing outcomes. I even had a moment of ‘for no reason’, fearing the car breaking down while driving yesterday, along with other feelings of circumstances turning negative. I was able to feel into this karmic expectation backlash that this was about the reality that Mordecai created for himself, and to feel this all with him and create a new unfolding timeline of deep remorse, asking forgiveness, receiving it and now allowing for the Karmic binds to be transformed into alchemical Karmic love binds.

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.

Lion’s Gate Completes With Many Gifts Offered

By Jelelle Awen

This Lioness Queen is going on a four day vacation to our beloved Salt Spring Island with her Lion King today….feels so appropriate on the ‘last’ night of the Lion’s Gate opening. The energies continue to download and activate from Sirius always and in all ways, I’m told, all you have to do is connect with your aspect from there as I’ve been doing with mine called Sela these last days.

I really feel that these days of the Lion’s Gate have been marked by a specialness, an acceleration of our personal processes AND the collective process….Ascension Christmas! I personally have received many gifts of rebooting, clarifying, support, validation, and huge waves of love energy as a reflection of goodness about what I am offering through SoulFullHeart as my service of love offering to the world.

And. there were raw but really good processes in there too for Raphael and me as we open up into a deeper level of co-leadership of SoulFullHeart going forward, completing a seven year cycle of its inception and seeding phase. We cleared a deeper karmic pattern between us in a specific metasoul timeline/lifetime that has been conscious between us for many years. With this clearing, there is more space for our collaboration and also individual passions to arise as we move into the next seven year cycle together.

We got to host two groups together during Lion’s Gate, one here in Victoria, BC and one on zoom…giving us more sense of our higher timeline serving love together from the overflow of our sacred union. You can purchase the recording of our powerful Lion’s Gate group transmission from 8/8 here btw if you want to take it in: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

Changes in eating patterns, changes in sleeping patterns, changes in relationship patterns, changes in passion purpose expression……perhaps you experienced some or all of these during this lion/lioness’ time. These changes all seem to support the enLIGHTenment of our hearts, souls, minds, and bodies as we continue on this path of ascension…and allow us to flow more with it as it is accelerating. What has anchored us to the old, to the 3D life..is being lifted and more let go of.

There was lots of purging and cleansing on many levels….cellular to social to emotional to physical during this passageway as well. You may have felt deep sadness at times as the collective sadness/cries of the world moved through your higher heart space as it activated next level.

I feel immensely blessed in this now for the unity in my life, the abundance in my life, and the abundant unity too! Love to you on this last eve of Lion’s gate….may you find and use and connect with both your ROAR and your PURR! ❤ ❤

We are also headed to Salt Spring to feel into places we want to go to for activations, ceremony, etc. during our one day trip here during our Equinox Gathering next month from September 20-23. There is more info here if you’d like to join us for four days of magic, activation, DEEP processing, community experience, etc. https://www.facebook.com/events/595200351002134/

Much Love,

Jelelle Awen

Jelelle Awen is Co-Creator/Teacher/Facilitator/Ambassador of SoulFullHeart Way Of Life, a healing process and paradigm offering New Gaia Ascension frequencies to transmute trauma into love on emotional/spiritual/physical levels. For more information about 1:1 individual sessions with her and other SoulFullHeart Facilitators, virtual group transmissions, four day gatherings in Victoria, BC, writings/books, and videos, visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com.

Receiving The Gift Of The Current Lion’s Gate Portal

By Raphael Awen

There’s a ton of support available in what’s called the Lion’s Gate Portal, that is at its height today on the numerologically significant date of 8/8, a period that opened on July 25th and remains open until August 16th.

During this time, there is loving support to access connection with your Higher Self and feel through current life changes from a more expansive, heart open place.

One evidence of this can be counterintuitive, in that feelings of heightened despair or longings can come up to the surface that usually remain subconscious to you and off your radar. If this is happening for you, you are being invited to feel this as a big invitation into a solid step forward. You don’t need to pave over any part of you to get to any higher ground.

I had a profound and deeply touching experience yesterday that was a long time in coming, and deeply treasured that has to do with serving men.

I’ve felt for many years a resonance with King Arthur and Camelot, which was about a deep lament over the loss of this powerful round table of men united in purpose and vision. With the help of the Lion’s Gate Portal, (along with some help from Jelelle), I was able to feel the heightened sadness, as well as an ease and grace to connect way more directly with King Arthur, simply through my Metasoul connection with him. As we felt through and discussed together the reactions that he has simmered in for a long time, his heart was able to rise again, back to vision and to the powerful service of love self that he has wanted to activate beyond the failed right/wrong picture that he previously served under.

This makes for what feels like a ton of freed up energy in my soul field that I can feel already shifting my relationship and experiences to come in serving men in particular. Men have been conspicuously absent from heart based explorations in comparison to women, and that is in the process of changing, I feel.

Be sure to give whatever attention and heart space you can to this opportunity today and into the next 8 days to come.

Join Jelelle Awen and I today! for Lion’s Gate at 10:00am PDT over zoom for a powerful group transmission event! We will connect to the 4D matrix to unplug from it and bridge to the higher frequency Lion’s Gate codes themselves, opening the higher heart. You can join us live or receive the recording for $15 CAD/$11 USD offering the donation here: paypal.me/jelelleawen or here: soulfullheartwayoflife.com/shop

more info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/2168911176740089/

Photo courtesy of https://unsplash.com/@nerdist0014

Raphael Awen is co-creator, teacher, and facilitator of the SoulFullHeart Way Of Life.  Visit soulfullheartwayoflife.com for more information about sessions, events, videos, etc. Visit our donations page to offer a monthly or one time money donation to support our offerings.